It's All Because of Janice Hill

And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if you want to be better and you want to do better, then you're going to have to be able to see better. So join me on this journey of living our best lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest

ass at you know. I'm currently meditating on my Solar Texas chakra, and the chakra is all about trust, It's about confidence, it's about knowing, it's about being sure of what you what you want, being sure of who you are, just being sure of self. And usually after every each

time I meditate, I go ahead and our journal. That's my mean time in the morning, I'll wake up, I'll meditate, my journal I'll work out, And in my journaling, I was defining confidence and what it means to me, and it came to me that confidence is simply knowing, and I'm realizing how important it is to be confident in life. Now. It doesn't mean that we're gonna know everything that's happening around us, what it's going to happen, how what's going

to happen. But it's something about being confident in self that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. You heard that song, it went viral on social media. Things will work in my favor. I just gotta believe. See, confidence is knowing, and so in that moment, there's a sense of peace, there's a sense of ease. There's a sense that allows you to go with the flow, because why get upset over something that you cannot change. Now, on the flip hand, when we look at fear, what

is simply fear? Fear it's not knowing. Fear is a lack of trust. So then it came back to me how important it is to know who you are because while everything around you may be a variable because it's constantly changing, you allow yourself to be the constant you allow to see yourself, to have enough trust in yourself that no matter what comes your way, it will be okay because you know that you're operating in your best self at that moment. You know that everything is happening

for your greater good. There's something about being confident. I mean, look at him. You're in a relationship. You're confident about how you and your partner are communicating. You're not tripping a worrying about it. You're confident in your ability. So therefore you get up and speak your words flow, whether it be your drawing, whether be raising your children. You're just operating confidence of knowing, knowing that you are operating

in your best space at that moment. So yeah, I said, don't we need to just continue to focus on the confidence. And that's just knowing who I am. And I implore you to just know who you are. Go ahead and spend some time with yourself and no confidence, it's just simply knowing. Go ahead and trust yourself, get your right, m right with me, and get excited about your Ten years ago, this month, my mother died, and you know,

I was reminded of that. A girlfriend reached out to me and she said, hey, I'm just thinking about you. I know this around this time can be hard for you. I want to see how you're doing. And for whatever reason, it didn't dawn on me. Now, usually my body feels it. I don't know if you've ever lost somebody, but it's I don't know. If you're you, you are cognantly thinking of the date, but for me, it was a nightmare. So the trauma that happened in my body, it's almost

like my body's feeling it. And once I got the text, I immediately looked at Jeremiah, because you know, we're pretty much always together, and I said, listen, I want to give your heads up. You know, if I start acting differently, I just want to let you know that my mom's anniversary is coming up, and throughout this time, I just feel a lot of feels. But also I'm reminded why

I go so hard and doing what I do. Now I'm probably gonna get emotional because it's Alide, my mother, my mother strugless person ever know, and leading up to her last days, I had seen her in the light I've never seen and I want to say week, but I guess the proper term, it's just tired. You see. It was my mom's third bout with cancer. I was

living in New York working on Music Choice. That was that b a less but I had got let go of that just you know, dealing with my mom's illness, and I'm not doing everything I was supposed to do. I had left the show, or at least some I think commercials didn't there. And if you work in radio, the money is in the commercials. And so I had to be up front and I said, hey, I'm dealing

with a lot with my mom. And I was working on Music Choice, and I remember around this time, I was so excited because it was also Black History Mom, and um, if you know anything about me, you know voice o versus a passion of mine. And I was so excited because I had had the opportunity to be the voice for our Black History Month specials and Music Choice. Now I decided to go home. Not that I went and went home, but it was it was an opportune time to go home because it was President's Day weekend.

I'm recording this podcast on President's Day, so I know I had that Monday off and I said, okay, I got this day off I'm gonna go down to Detroit to see my mom. Now. When I was working at Music Choice, I would I started getting a lot of calls, like my sister and you know, the doctor calling and say, hey, you know, just to get updates on my mom and how she's doing, because she got a point where she was in so much pain that they had to give her pain medicine, and with the pain medicine kind of

made her a little loopy. And listen to the same mother. Because I was the local producer or the Lina Adam's morning show when I was at BLS and w l i V, she called me every day at three thirty and let make sure I was up, and I think I started noticing things, but she had like, you know, for god, or I'll be talking to her and she'd just be a little loopy. I'm like, man, I stopped because remind you, this is the strongest woman I know.

So I decided to go home to Detroit because the doctor said, hey, my sister said, you know, should I tell my sister to come out here? And they said, well, it's better for her to come sooner than later. I said, all right, I'm going down now. I remember you know, when you're going out to your dreams. Some people got to set up where you know they can rely on their family members to help them as something go down. You know there's some extra change that you could put

stuff in. But you know, for me, you know, I know I chose this life as far as for some of my dreams. So I'm always wanted to make it work, to make it do what to do. So I said, okay, I'm gonna go down there in present days weekend. I don't have to worry about, you know, calling up some time from work and and uh saving money. I said, okay, I'm gonna take the Greyhound back down there and then I'll probably fly back, you know, trying to make it where it makes sense. I remember I finally got down

there on the Greyhound. I remember, I feel like, what's I talking to my mom on the weak prior Whitney Whitney Houston had just died. So when I got there, it was Whitney's funeral was on the TV. And I remember I got to my aunt's asked my Anjoan, and we're sitting there watching the funeral. I'm like, well, I was not on this bus for twenty seven hours to be sitting here, you know, but to this funeral, I said, I need to go see my mama. So I had my aunt take me now my mom. You know, cancer

take people out, but oftentimes it's the treatment. So she's taking her chemo and so they had put her in a they called we referred to as a rehab center, but it was a nursing home, so everybody that was older. But it was more so that she can get her strength, get her mobility up, you know, so that she can endure the next round chemo and hopes to uh combat

the stage for a breast cancer that she has. Now, if you're unfamiliar or stage for a breast cancer or stage for a cancer overall, that's when it metastasized, meaning that it's now spreading all over the body. Now four years prior to that, I had just moved out to New York and my mom was moving me in and this is when we discovered I guess the cancer was back. She got off the bed and there was a crack. It was like a chalk like and she hollered ah, And I was like, mom, a you okay, We're im

meetingly with the hospital. They said the bone was dense. After further testing, they found out that she had cancer in the bone. We had to uh or they had to put a rod in her fever. Your femer is the longest and strongest bone in the body. The fever is located between the hip and the knee bone. So I told my aunt, I said, I need to go see my mom. I go see my mom in my mind. You know, if you follow me and are aware, not the things that I've accomplished, m hm, you know the

things that I've done, it's because of Jennie Hill. Everything I am just because of my mama. They kind of go for it. Don't give up, don't let nobody to tell you know. So to see her in the state of she couldn't even put a fork to her mouth, and I remember I was so angry because I said, you ain't trying. When I was with twenty year old on was thinking, because why wouldn't somebody put a ford to my mouth if they could. I remember her head

was shaking. She said, don key, you open this pop and I look, listen, mine, you can open the pop yourself. I remember see her in next fear trying to crack the kid. It still didn't register how sick my mother was. This is the woman that raised me, that told me I can be do anything. And now I was gearing up to come back to l A. I remember I played for I played the video of her for the

Black History my special I did with music choice. She was proud and I asked her even despite the state, you know, as I said, my you know you think I should go back to New York or you want me to stay here with you? No mind you. When I had gotten there, I had left the room. We probably wanted to sleep there, but she was in the room by herself. It was an empty bed. I slept her overnight, and it was one point I was in the bed with her because I'm like, I'm gonna be

here with my mom. But you know what she said to me, and this is when I learned about love. I think in a different dimension. She said, don already lived my life. It's time for you to live yours. Now. I probably knew that I wasn't gonna leave anyway, but you know, I probably just needed her to tell me to stay. So I said, okay, and I was gonna stay anyway. But I guess I remember a nurse that came in. She said, men, Hill, are you doing okay?

You need to go to the hospital. I think my mom nodded, and the nurse asked because you know, at the time I didn't I wasn't aware, but I guess you can start to do some labor and breathing where It's like my mom started to distribute that now the time she could lay flat on her black back because I don't know if there was fluid in her lungs, but you know, just not being miss mobiles enough, the lungs are moving to the capacity. So we ended up going to the hospital. Now, my sister, she had just

had my youngest nephew. She had preclipsed. You. She was just recovering her eyesight, you know, dealing with a premature newborn. So there's a lot going on. She probably handled a lot while I was aware of New York and probably my mom going to the doctor. That wasn't anything that was bizarre. So we were at the hospital and uh, you know, they're asking me to for all the information. I'm working on being strong. But what strong? What is that?

What does that mean? At the time, I guess for me, I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna cry, but of course I did. I want to say, what's wrong? Down What's wrong? I said? You know, I told I said, I'm just a little scared. So the doctors and nurses asking me the information about my mom, and uh. I was down there for the holiday for Christmas, and I

remember we had to go to the doctor. Then we were doing laundry and she was talking her chest and I was like, oh my gosh, you you know, we didn't know it was like a heart attack or whatever, and it was just the kncer and the chest hurting the bones. And I remember that time I was able to understand or to get a grasp of the pain she was in because when we were at the hospital, the strongest woman I ever known. Let's calling for her mama. Now what I was supposed to do? You my mama?

Are you asking for your mama time when you wish your mama was here? So I had an idea of what could this pain could be like? So ware a rule, they ask you for the information. So they said, I don't know if it was a CT skin or a cat skin. I didn't know. That was cold me. The last time I was going ting to my mom, you know, I'm gonna be real with you. I haven't let it

like plagues on me a lot. But I wondered some so I said, well done, Why did you let her go into this cast games there to put in a Machiney? She had to lay back. Remember I told you my mom would lay back because she said she can breathe. And when they took her the machine and they want to go get the visit. I remember calling Charlotte, said Charlotte need to get up to the hospital. I needed you to come up here. I need you to come up here. And she made her way. Remember the doctors

came out, or maybe even before that. I remember hear what I was saying, that she's coldy, she's colder, and you know all these turns, these machines and all that's going on. Well you know what somebody is colding? That means you know, flatlining cold tea and like the ring me alarm. And I remember that. I remember the doctor's

coming out. I remember the feeling it was. And uh, I don't know if they were called all the way or whether or not they were going to resuscitate, because we had to make the decision because her bones are so fragile, Remember I told you she got off my bed in New York and we heard a pop, So that lets you know how dense it is. They had to put a metal rode in her favor. So when

we talk about resuscitation, that's pressing on this chest. And it was at that point they told us, well, if we do the resuscitation, if something were happening again, are you okay with that? Because we could break her rib cage. Remember this is the same mother I told you that when I was down there in December, she was crying out for her mother because her chest was hurting so bad. But luckily, you know, we were able to to uh,

to get some sort of pulse. Now the same my mother never came to I can't say that, but I never audibly heard from her after that moment. And I we were sitting on the machines. We had kept her in there about a week, and you know, of the entire week, I never left the hospital. Might have went to the parking left, But my thing was, I was like, I ain't gonna leave mamma, because my mama wouldn't leave me. It was truly a nightmare. I wanted to run. There was nowhere to go. I want to hide, but there

was no one to go. I wanted to yal, but really nobody care me. I woke up every morning. I slept in that room, but the family and friends could be and I would go every morning talk to my mama, just sit with her. I went on't to share a lot of things, just tell her how much I loved her. But my Uncle's like, you know, just never really I'm not really liking them, just just the things that happened in the past. And you know, I tell her some money. You know, I forgive that. I forgive him because that

was so that I carried for a while. You know, I was at the point of just sharing all the things that I wanted her to come to. And there were times where her eyes removed, so I know that she could hear me. But can't you imagine the strongest person you know to be at a point there's so much pain they can't communicate. When I tell you that I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't a geniciill.

And so I reminded at this point of my life where I gotta go so hard because being a dreamer and being obedient and what I mean by that be obingest my spirit of what God has placed inside of me. I could just stay in Detroit. I got big dreams. And for me, why I got so hard by dreams while you hear me go sorry with by the bed

because I gotta make some of myself. I gotta make something of myself because I can't get that back that I decided to go to Howard, that I decided to live in New York, the time that I decided to be away from my mother. I can't get it back. So I gotta make good on my investment on that time away. So that's how I'm feeling right now. And it's such a challenge because everything he gave had wanted division. I think God placed my heart or what I feel for my life, it ain't necessarily in front of me

where I can see you. And that's what I constantly reminded. And I have to tell myself, Dart, don't let what you see make you forget what God said. You gotta keep going. Now. This is my story, my cousins. You know, six siblings, five other siblings with mother died and I can't compare that, but I can just tell you my story and and and and who I am and where I am, and why I do what I do, and why I have to do it the way that I do it. That's where the passion lines would be, because

I gotta make good. Oh with sh it's hill, put it side me, and you know, and what my father said. Now, you know, you may not hear me talk much about my father because he died when I was three months So that relationship or whatever that is, I don't have that. But you know he said when I was more, he said, I got me a star. I gotta make good on this star. And you know the thing it was interesting about the star. The best views of the star at night,

that's where they twinkle and shine. But do we ever think about what it's like to be in the midnight black sky when you gotta mustard up whatever is inside of you and decide to shine. We all got this light, we learned the soul when we were a child, this little light of mind. I'm going to let it shot. I'm gonna shine and I'm gonna do this ship right here.

I gotta make it happen. I was talking to a mentor, so how you doing, you know, being I'm like, oh, hey, I'm cool, but you know, we gotta really think when people ask how you do, how are you really doing? I said, well, just keep it on keep it all, you know, keep it on coming and here in my podcast and work it out. And I explained to I said,

you know, I'm not gonna even you know front. You know, I can get a little discouraging because you know I'm going after for so long, but when it's time, when you talk about when it's right, but just what you should not do. But I'm humid looking around at your peers and other people around our age, and I'm like, I'm not a bump And what I mean by that, I've always been a by grind, Like that's what I do. That's a work ethic. And I have to remind myself.

And I'm going in for dog Don's dreams and you know, perhaps other people what I don't have their story, But then two, who's to say that they're going after their own thing. You know, I'm not here to do down someone else about what it is you do. But it's a little different when you're working for somebody else versus working for yourself, because you gotta be the the end dog be all you gotta have a motivation, you gotta

have the creativity. You gotta make it happen. I can't wait for nobody else to make it happen for me. And what that comes a different level of comfort? What that comes with a different level of curetee? He says, workout, dog, I mean it is working out. First of all, you better act like you know, Dawn Day, having that confidence what God put aside of me. But he said, it's gonna work out. You just one person away, or you know, one situation away, he said, because you're putting in that work.

You're putting in that sweat equity. He said, you work your podcast. It's like a full time job. But I'm like, yeah, don't let what you see make you forget what God said. And so I have to keep going. And I realized I can't control the time of the way things happen. So I get into space. So what can I control with Dawn? And that's the same for you, What can you control your environment? For me by loving on myself

in ConTroll with tord is working out. So that's the no, That's the one thing that I know how whatever I put in, that's what I'm gonna receive He says, it's gonna happen. He said, you know when you decided to leave from New York to go to l A is that I wasn't worried. I knew that you're a hard worker. And I look up, I'm like, alright, God, what is it gonna happen? And I even say to myself, like why it's all of this pressure? And I say pressure, Why do I feel all of this wait for this

great a ship? You know? Because some people just go ahead and they live their life and they do their think if they want to do it. And I'm like, how why do you put all this on me? Why do I have this dream so big that I just got to do it? But I know that I won't feel completely now. No, damn well, my mother's death will not be in vain at least what I say to me as far as being around her, and and and

I have a time that I can't get back. But what I think about little Donor three and a half years so would have to worry about a story before being I always said it. I knew what was gonna be a star, But I didn't just say I'm gonna wake up and I want to be in front of the crowd entertained. No, It's always been in me. This has been my face, wanting to inspire, wanting to be heard, wanting to be a seed, not only just from my doorphins, because I know that I have something what I do this,

I have ability. I have a gift where I enable people to feel good. I have this thing where I'm around people. I wouldn't they say I inspire them, And I love that for me and I love that for them. So I've always said this way to what I feel like, why couldn't I be okay? We'll just get the typical nime to find and work it. It will never be okay for me. So I've been this hole in place, this transition place, this place that we call the dash, until I manifest off my dreams because I tell you

I would be bigging it oper I am. And that's why I gotta act like I know. You know. I was talking about that on the Quick Dose previously. You gotta act like you know because when you act like you know, you walk as if you already are hey catch it. And when you act in such a matter, you yield certain results. And just as I say, don don't let what see make you forgive what God said you can't you feel if you don't quit, you can't. That is formula. So I'm mis stick to the formula,

and I hope you will too. And whatever I aspect of your life. I don't know what motivates you would inspire you to keep going, but I just want you to remind yourself this. If you ever feel like giving up, if you don't feel like you're worthy, if you're too scared, you gotta know that you're gonna die one day. And that does not mean to sound born it. I just want to hope and ensure that you live while you're still alive. In fact, I think when my mother died,

that's what gave me the gump. Should have just keep moving, keep going out and taking a chance, because I said, well, hell, the worst thing that could ever happen to me has happened, So throwing at me it reminds me of that song see you by seeing bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire Away, fire Away. That's perhaps that confidence that I'm meditating on. I'm on my solar plexus chakra. It's a lot about affirmative about who you are what you can do with what you want to achieve. But it's a no wik

In fact here recently, I was helping a friend. We were filing for a pilot for her pilot for TV show. I said, it's gonna be a multi she'd say to TV shart movie's gonna be a multi million dollar project. That's what I claim over her. So were if they're feeling like, if you don't me, I'm a prankster. And uh A told truck was coming down the street we were filming at my place. I said, oh my gosh, they're about to tow your car. There was such an ease A boy hers she said what she said. I

checked the party. There was no panic. It wasn't like she had some unpaid parking tickets, it wasn't like her tax were expired. There was nothing. So for her, the worried nous had ceased. And perhaps with us we worry because of what could go wrong. But what about the confidence of what's quite to be right? What about the confidence of what you feel and who you say that

you are. And that's what I mean, Act like you know, act like you know with this vision, whether you say God, whether this energy, whatever this feeling has put inside you to be more, to do more, to see more. It's true because if you go to the scripture of faith without works is dead. Hey, we even know if you work out, if you don't put any working, and you can't expect anything, any output of things to work out. So that's how I've been doing. And that's the check in.

I'm gonna be all right. I just it has some e motions to feel, you know, and I wanted to share and be transparent with that. If you ever had the world that like, nor why you do, how you do what you do, well, that's genesee. When you see her, you see me, when you see me, best believe you

see her. Yeah, I'm gonna do it for Mopa as clear as day, see myself, di for the masses, and these people they holler, they're so excited, and I'm speaking life over them, affirmingause what you can do if you believe, affirming that it feels good to feel good and to live life or a purpose and for a purpose, to not give a damn about what people say. And I'm working on that myself. It's something about this judgment of how we let things get it away. But remind yourself.

You know you're going down one day, so hell, you better live the way you want to live, how you want to live, with whomever you want to live. Do what it is you need to do so you can live because you're gonna die one day, and right now is the best time to live, because the only thing that's certain is right down. So what you gonna do, who you're doing it for? Why are you doing it? Because I'm a head yacht, my multi million dollar points

over the studio. What beautiful, the love of my life, the peace, the joy, It's gonna be all worth it is. It was a firm ten years ago. This buns, but I saw my baba take her last breath. A bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire Away, fire away. Thank you so much for listening. Man, If you would like to be on the show, If you have somebody that you want to recommend to be on the show, go ahead and

email us Vitamin D at Dawn a Day Speaks dot com. Okay. Also, you know what, I have Vitamin DD vice letters, so you can write in if you want some advice on love, relationship, work, purpose, anything that is concerning you. And I'm gonna give you my insight on and now I want to be clear. You know, I'm all about inspiring. I'm all about positivity, telling you something to make you feel good. But Vitamin D is about shearing a light and that's on the good and the bad. So I'm gonna keep it real

with you because you know what I say. If you want to be better and you want to do better, you gotta be able to see better. So you just know what you getting when you're coming in. Vitamin D at Dawn Day Speaks. But I'd love to share my insight with you. Okay. Also, you know this is my dream. You know that I've risked everything on this. You know we started from underneath the sheets in New York City and now we're in Studio E and Sherman Oaks, California, Mornia.

Vitamin D. I need you to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody else to subscribe to Vitamin D with Dawing Day and let them know that we're available on all of the platforms wherever you get your favorite podcast. Okay, help my dream. I'm planning to be here for a long time. You gotta lot you gonna learn about me. Okay, we got a lot we're actually gonna learn together, So

let's start now, right. If you'd like to get more content on the show, I want to encourage you to follow us on social media, Vitamin D Dawn Day everywhere, so you get clips, some of the interviews, some insights, we got quotes, we got pictures, we got a morning motivation and inspiration and stuff like all good things just shed in life. Vide him in D Dawing Day, and then if you want the real D Hey, I want you to follow me on all social media Dawn Day Speaks. Okay,

I can't wait to hear from you. Okay, well I'm heading out of here. I want you to be amazing. I want you to be great, and I want you to get excited about your life. You know, I say, I'm in the business of making dreams come true, and my damn sure ain't gonna forget about mine. So until next time, I always remember you are your greatest stats at get your right emnd right here with me, and get excited about your lives.