Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into the Vitamin D with Dawn Day Podcast and I am your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about your life so that you can live life on purpose and for a purpose. And this is your first time tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon of our name. My name is Dawn and you get Vitamin D from the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life.
And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if you want to be better and you want to do better, then you're going to have to be able to see better. So join me on this journey of living our best lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest assad Have you ever really thought what you're asking for? Like what is it going to require of you to receive it, to achieve it, to be it, whatever that
thing is? Because they say asking you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be answered to you. This is what it said it. But how has the time I'm wondering, like, are we really ready what it is? That we're asking for, not that it's bad, but it's just to be prepared. What do they say, proper preparation prevents pissport performance? Huh lights camera action.
We're living in the now now. For me personally, what I realized is that I've been talking about how I want to up level my discernment now what I didn't take in consideration of what that would feel like and exactly what that looks like, but more importantly what that feels like, and how I have to respect myself because when you know better, it's required of you to do better, and you would be a fool not too right. And
I asked for this, I asked to be better. So now I'm charging myself because I'm holding myself accountable now with this level of discernment. As I can see it's up leveling. Is that I feel so much now. I can be disobedient to myself. I could disrespect myself, I could not honor myself and ignore what it is that I feel when making my decisions m But I want to make my here good. I want to make sure that I'm going exceedingly at me on for more than
what I could ever imagine. So as I taken consideration of what this discernment feels like. I gotta catch it. I'm noticing, how truly Now I've said this before, but how truly not everyone can get so close to me? Because now I can feel the residue a bit more. It's pulling on me a bit more. And now as I am becoming more in tune with it, I'm catching it before I make the decision, which that is what
it's there for. But even as I don't necessarily follow my throat and I go through with it, I realized, coming on the other side, I said, well, damn, that's what it is that I felt. And I'm realizing it's only getting more intensified. And it's only getting more intensified. Pay It's what I asked for. What are you asking for? Is it being revealed to you? Wait? Let me ask you this. Are you choosing and allowing yourself to see it?
Because what do I say? If you want to be better and you want to do better, you have to be able to see better. Are your eyes open? Huh? Are your ears open? Huh? Is your heart open? A time to be in there? Now? It is the present, So allow it to be the gift, get your right in right with me, I get excited about it's been a minute. Then I've done an advice letter. And I told you, Mike, I said, you are Maya deren my Elijah Harris. Do we have an advice letter? He said, don't.
We got three? I said, okay, well bring it, bring it, don't know, bring it, don't know. Over Now, it's been quite some time that I've done an advice letter. And if this is the first episode that you're checking in on, let me tell you something. So I have this thing called advice letters where I employ listeners and viewers to go ahead and write in about the relationships. Career advice are different things that they're going on asking for some vitamin D insight. Now, I want to be clear with
you because I said keep it G with me. I keep it G with you when you write in with me or to me. I want you to understand it's not gonna always be rainbows and butterflies and not saying that I'm coming in at tech, but you're coming in for some light, right, And what do I say? If you want to be better and you want to do better, you have to be able to see better. So we're gonna be looking at all angles some things that you
may not want to be exposed. I know, I know, but we got to talk about it because we're coming through with authenticity. Okay, So now that we got that clear, let's get to this letter. Uh subject. He likes it, but he hasn't put a ring on it. Hi, Dawn, I am twenty five years old and I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for eight years now. Being with him has been the greatest love I have ever experienced, and I pray that we always be together.
With everything we have been through, I've started to feel worried that he hasn't asked me to marry him yet. I've flat out asked him if he wants to get married, and his response was that I am the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life, and that the idea of marriage is nothing more than legal paperwork and that doesn't add anything to a relationship.
We are very public with our relationships, so we have pictures posted online and share how long we have been together, and because of this, we get commentary from people asking why we haven't gotten married yet. I've explained how he feels about marriage, and most people stop asking further questions. But it's clear as day that they feel sorry for me. I'm not stupid. I can see it on their faces, and I noticed how they immediately change the subject so
we can talk about something else. I know my boyfriend loves me, but it's been really hard not to start to feel doubt, especially when I've seen videos of women who share the same experience with me with not being proposed to, and also women who have been dune by their men after being with them for as long as I have. I understand my boyfriend's reasoning, but I've always dreamed of being walked down the aisle. I've tried, but I'm really struggling with accepting the idea that I'm not
going to be able to call him my husband. I love him so much. Done, I don't know what to do. Well, I'm not gonna say exactly what you need to do, but what I'm going to give you are some things to think about. How about that? Yeah? All right, so it's only five You've been in this relationship for eight years, so what does that put you at? Like seven? Seen? All right? Cool? You had this thing you said doing I want to always be together. I'm like, all right, cool,
because you want to love. Why wish you ever want to be depart from the love of your life? Right now? This is where I got a chime in and you're probably like, oh my god's done. I didn't expect that from you. Well, you said to him, you said, I am a woman. You stated that you are the woman that he wants to be with for the rest of his life. But he's acknowledged the fact that he does not want to get married. Now I can agree with
him on this. I was just talking to a home girl the other day, probably like two days ago, and I have made the statement. Now, granted I'm not in love. I have not been in a relationship eight years. But I said, you know what, girl, I don't know if I need to get married. Well, well, let me rephrase this. I understand the purpose of getting married if we are
building something and we're starting a business. If we're not doing that, then why are we getting married Because it sounds is it sounds as if it's tying up a lot of paperwork, a lot of legalities, And if you're not building something there, then what is the purpose Now, So that that's where I come in on that front, right, so you get my direction? No, no, not not no, this is where the light is gonna be shipped a little bit. Okay, these are some things that really stuck
out to me. Uh and let me just say that what I gather from this is that an operation or coming from a space of insecurity, because I am reading that you are seeking validation outside of your relationship. You go on to say, you said hey Dawn. You didn't say hey Dawn, but basically you said, we get commentary from people asking us why haven't we gotten married? And then this is the thing that that got me. You said, I've explained whoa no way eating the manute? Why are
you explaining yourself to other people? Why do they deserve an explanation about how you choose to live your life? M hm, they can't live your life for you. Now, you go on to say, it's as clear as day that they feel sorry for me. I'm not stupid. I can see it in their faces. Again, why are you caring what other people think about your relationship? Sounds like you're in the business of being concerned with things look
like versus what they feel like. See, I had to say it like that because there's no question, or at least what I received based on what you have written to me, is that it's not a question as to whether or not he loves you. The only question is that whether or not he can I want to say, show up, but let me not show up, but whether or not he is willing to change his values to appease yours. Now you go on to say that you
know that he loves you. Okay, if you know that he loves you, that you posted pictures online, that he's not like he's hiding you. Why are we so concerned about this paperwork? And not because you shouldn't be concerned, but more so if it's something that he is not willing to give you. See, I say it like that because I think oftentimes, or even situations, not even just relationships, we walk in things trying to change them versus accepting and making room for them to operate as they are
and then allowing things to grow. Let me give you a caveat. I heard a while back. You know, I'm from Detroit, and you know the automotive industry is booming there and Henry Ford built the first card Detroit. Uh. They said that When he would interview people to work for him, he would take them out to eat based on how they would eat their food would be based on whether or not he felt as if he can work with them. Don't Where are you getting at? What
are you talking about? Well, I'm glad you asked. See, Henry Ford has this mindset of observing, making rome for other people, and depending on how they would eat their meal would determine as to how they would approach his business. An individual that has coming in before they even check the temperature, even taste to see what's on the plate. They just started at a season. You probably know people like that before they can even give it. What a sault? That?
Give me some little pepper? You've got some garlic powder? Rather than just seeing how things operate. See, that's what I talk about. What you gotta make room for people. You gotta make room for people. Say that you can see a three sixty view, so that you're not coming in with this false expectation, because half the time that's where the disappointment comes in. At I never once heard you say that he cheated on you, that he was holding secrets with you, that he wasn't communicating with you,
that he's trying to hide. You know, the concern that you have is that he is clear about what it is that he wants. So then I have to ask you, what is it that you want? Okay, don I want him? Do you really? Do you really want this relationship? Because I'm like in other situations and situation ships, people don't necessarily communicate, but what it is that they want? Now I get it. You said that, Hey, I'm desiring this marriage, But now what happens that he comes in he says, Hey,
I don't want to get married. What do you do with that? Now? You say, I'm struggling with accepting the idea that I'm not going to be able to call him my husband. Everyone, I'm Otie and we are investors in Tenoral Seller's wine company. He sort of like sharing. Subscribed to the Vitamin D with down Day podcast available wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Well, where did the idea come from? Because it sounds like you're creating this world from the world that he said It doesn't get
exist in his realm. If marriage is not on the table, what are you expecting to be served? I want you to really think about that. I find sometimes that we call so much confusion with ourselves because we choose not to see what's in front of us, we choose not to receive what's in front of us. We choose to dishonor ourselves. You said, darn, I love him so much. I don't know what to do. You said you want
to get married. The question becomes is he the one? Furthermore, you're gonna sit here and try to change him, which probably will result in a level of resentment because he said what it is that he wants. And I feel like that's a beautiful thing about a relationship, when you can partner with somebody that's aligned with the things that you want. Now, do you feel as though that maybe you gave yourself a disadvantage because earlier on in the
letter you said, I pray that we will always be together. Hi, we gotta be clear about what it is that we're asking for. You know, we have this idea of what we think things are supposed to be, but we really need to delve in what it is that we're asking for. So I ask you, what are you asking for? Furthermore, do you really know what it is that you want? Because if you have all the medians for a relationship that can last. What is marriage gonna do for you?
Did you think that was gonna stop him if you ever thought that he was cheating? Did you think that paperwork was going to prevent him from engaging in those actions? Did you think that the paperwork was gonna make him communicate with you better? Or furthermore, do you feel as though the paperwork is gonna solidify the pictures and all of the love that he shows you out in public and on social media. I just want to know, because you say, Hey, Dawn, what do I do? You said, Hey, Dawn,
he likes it, but he hasn't put a ring on it. Sis? What do you want? Sis? Do you honor yourself? Sis? I ask you these questions because you come with me and you say what it is that you want? But yet you're seeking it from a well that looks as though it is dry, not dry with love, but dry. What it is that you're seeking? Meaning you're looking for something in the lost and found and guess what, it's not there? So what do you want? It comes down to the fact, do you want this relationship with him
and what he can offer you? Because you're trying to pull something out the sky forcing somebody's hand. That ain't gonna work. Since furthermore, I want to highlight, punctuate bold the idea of what I see hovering over this letter. And it's no shame because we shouldn't like it's a bit of insecurity, baby, And I say that because you are so concerned with Everybody thinks you are so concerned
with everything. Looks like you will never be happy that way. See, we have to really tap into how we feel, and that shouldn't be based on any outside of work. It's the work that we do inside because once we're done with being outside, we still have to sit with ourselves and guess what. You can try to run. You can try to add, but you're not gonna go too far
because you argue period. So Dawn, I don't know what to do since I'm gonna have to say, You're gonna have to choose you in this situation, and choosing you means being honest with yourself, and it means honoring yourself. Being honest is the fact that yes, you've been in this relationship for eight years, but also this man doesn't want to get married. Honoring yourself looks like, hey, if I'm at the table and they're not serving me what I need, what I want. It's time to go. So
how long are you gonna? Hey, your food gonna get cold, and at that point, what's the point of eating it? So miss he likes it, but he hasn't put a ring on it. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Time is of the essence. Happiness is of the essence. No better yet, joy is of the essence because that deals that type of peace. Make room to accept him for who he is, see him for who he is. And I need you to decide how you want to
show up. How does that sound? So I can't tell you exactly what you should do, but I think that it's imperative that you honor yourself. And that looks like being confident. That looks like being honest, and that looks like loving yourself of enough to know that if it doesn't serve you, it doesn't deserve you. Okay, I know, I hope I didn't discourage anybody else to write a letter. But that's what I have to give to her, because you know, we just go into different situations at times
expecting something that simply isn't there. We find ourselves in a level or a moment of disappointment, and guess what, we only have ourselves to blame. But listen, if you were listening, you're like, Dawn, I need some advice. I want to encourage you to email me vitamin D at Dawn day Speaks dot com and we will definitely put that in the email back in. Furthermore, if you like to be a guest or if you have a topic on the show, I wanted to encourage you to email
us again Vitamin D at Dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay, and can you tell somebody to tell somebody that Dawn Day got a podcast. It's called Vitamin D with Dawn Day. And it's available not somewhere, not over there, not sometimes it's available wherever. However, whenever you get your favorite podcasts, you know, this is a dream of mine, and if it serves you, can you ensure that you make it
accessible for somebody else. I'd appreciate you. And probably if you shared it, that means you you must have liked it. So do me one more again. They got these ratings on there. You see the stars and maybe it's hearts, but it's not that you can rate go ahead and put a five on that. Make a little comment. So if somebody comes across they and say, wow, don't inspire me Wow doing made me feel good? Wow doing his owner something. I told you're gonna be bigging and open.
You better catch you on now. Hey, uh, if you'd like to check us out, we'll see what's going on in the studio. I encourage you to follow us on all social media at Vitamin D Dawn Day. We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, fan based, Pinterest, we outs and if you want some original Vitamin D like from the source, which is me, I want to encourage you to follow me on all social media at dawn Day speaks. All right, I'm about
to get out of here. You know, I always say I'm in the business of making dreams come true, and I'm damn sure I ain't gonna forget about mine. So until next time, always remember you and your greatest that's at get your iteminy right here with me, and get excited about your lives.