Advice Letters 7

light into your life. Because my name is Dawn. You can get it. Okay, you follow, and if you're returning, welcome back. I appreciate you. I should probably call you like my daylights, you know, just to get a lot light here and there. Um, but nevertheless, I'm just so glad that you're here now. Usually on the Vitamin D Podcast, we'll do certain interviews where we're talking to notable celebrities, sometimes people just like you and me, having just inspirational

conversations and inspirational in science. And then I'll do my quick doss which you've probably had the special treat of me catching those on a Wednesday and Friday twice a week. And basically that's just simply me using the lyrics of popular music and intertwine and get into a motivational message. Then we got something special. It's where I here directly from you. I have some of my listeners that write

in and for the Vitamin D Advice letters. And you know, if you have a letter that you'd like to cement, you can go ahead and email at Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks dot com and just simply if you have any questions about relationships, about love, about career, about just decisions, any and everything that you use the second opinion on. But let me tell you right now. I said it before and I said it again. Vitamin is

about shutting the light. And you have to understand that when you shed the light, it's gonna be on the good and the bad. So just the same with this advice that I'm gonna give you, it's going to be real because we can only grow from what we know. Okay, you don't grow from being in the shade. You grow from being in the light. So we're gonna cut on some light and it may not be as nice or friendly that you may like, but guess what it is a true. Now, I can keep on yapping, but I'd

rather dive in to see what we're talking about here. So, without further ado, it's time for your dose vitamin D. D right with me and get excited about all right, So let's dive into the first letter subject and I just overthinking it, dear Dawn. So I've been seen this man for about a year now. He's sweet, hilarious, and almost as smart as me. It's been great. I sometimes even catch myself fantasizing about adopting kids with him. Someday. We're just clicking this way that fills me with joy.

So here comes the best. I don't know why I can't shake the feeling that he doesn't want to be with me, like he generally shows up but only after I make plans. And while I don't mind going out and taking the initiative, I can't help but feel like he doesn't put the same value in me when I don't see the same effort. Now, I'm a man in my thirties, so I'm not really too afraid to cut

and run. But I also can't decide if this feeling is based in fact or if I'm making a bigger thing out of it than it warrants and should just shut my mouth and enjoy this man who wants to be with me right now. What are your thoughts? Okay, I want to call you damsel and distress. Here's the

thing that I would say. You always have to trust your vibe because whether or not it's you that feels the insecurity or that you feel the other person is into you, something is off now, whether that's a matter of you stepping up in your confidence or just having

a genuine conversation. You know, they say that oftentimes in relationships that they sometimes don't work out, not because another person doesn't love them, not because another person doesn't care about them, but simply because there are different love languages. You know. Some people enjoy the physical contact of touch, and it doesn't always have to be sexual. Some people like to be affirmed if their love. Some people like to be shower to gifts. It doesn't make them shallow.

What it says is, hey, this is how I receive love. And I think with any type of relationship, whether it's intimate, whether it's something that's business, you have to learn to communicate. And like you said, your partner could legit be on some quality time stuff and showing out and showing up. But your thing is to say, hey, I want you to take the initiative to well, I think like it's any type of relationship of a balance, just like you

have a yen and a yang. You know, the sun doesn't get jealous of the moon because it doesn't come out during the day, but it knows the position that it plays in that relationship, of this cycle, of this evolution of life. So think about in your relationship and who balances out who does what you know, just in your relationship, somebody may be a great cook, so maybe they handle the big dishes, and maybe that you're doing

the signs doesn't make that any party less known. But like I said before, whether or not you're overthinking it, only you can answer that. But what I inquiring, what I urged for you, is to take action and communicate, express your concerns with your partner, because no one can read your mind, and it's unfair if you expect anyone to let them know and say, hey, I'd like for you to plan things or throw something out there and

let him take the reins. But don't give up on a relationship with somebody showing up because guess what, if somebody doesn't want to be somewhere, they won't be there. And you haven't told me about this person is not showing up to spend quality time. The gripe that it seems that you're expressing, or that I've read, is that they aren't putting the same quote unquote effort that you can receive and what it looks like for you. So take some time and just have a conversation. That's where

you'll start. Let me know how that goes, write me back and we'll continue this. Okay, all right, let's move on to the next letter. Subject. Am I the run of the letter? Dear Dawn. My girlfriend has been babysitting her sister's dog for the last few months, and it's really starting to wear on my last nerve. We live in Maryland, and since we started dating three years ago, I'm twenty eight, she's twenty nine. I've known that she's big into animals. She would volunteer at animal hospitals and

shelters almost every weekend. I got really used to watching videos of cute animals and especially dogs. Then about a year into the relationship, she introduces me to her sister's dog, who she is literally in love with. You think I'm joking, but I do mean literally. She doats on the little guy like he's an actual baby. At first, I thought that it was cute and just kind of the natural

extension of her animal love. I thought it was a little weird that she treated it like meeting her parents, having to give me a special about what the dog does and doesn't like. I guess I pushed that reservation deep down, so that goes well, and the dog likes me, and things seem honky dory. But then come COVID and her sister decides to move back to the Midwest to help with the family, which I mean, yeah, makes sense,

but she leaves her dog here with us. Now, personally I like animals, but I also think that they're animals. No table food, no licking on the face, no sleeping in the bed are my general rules. Of course, Rules one and three were broken within the first day. Now three months in, I a feel like I own a dog I didn't choose, and be I feel like I have to walk on eggshells less I do something that

she thinks the dog won't like. It's crazy. I can't tell you how many nights I end up almost kicked out of my own bed by the dog and her. Sometimes I just give up and go to sleep on the couch, only for her to come out in the morning and ask, what's up? Why did you come out here? If I were to tell you the truth, I feel like I get a blink stare, or she'd accuse me of hating the dog or being jealous. I don't know. Am I jealous? I know you can't tell me that per se, But what do you think? How do I

stop feeling like the runt in this household? Who chow? I had to exhale on that, because there's a lot of impacking to do in this letter. You know, There's something I always say is that when somebody shows you who they are, believe them. And I usually we're talking about the money says something that you may not like, or something that may be offensive, or something that shows ill will of their character. But sometimes we just have to put on our observation spectacles and see somebody who

they are. Now, what you stayed in earlier on in the letters that you said that you've noticed that your girlfriend has always loved animals. I mean she does it on her free time. Also, we see that you know, you didn't necessarily welcome into the fact of various animals

come in the household, especially the job. Now, there's something that I think that's important in any type of relationship because I think whether it's intimate or platonic, it's all boils down from one person to the next, and sometimes when that communication comes to a level of boundaries. Now, hey, there possibly could be some jealousy as you stayed and you said, hey, am I jealous? Maybe because there's a lot of attention. I mean, heck, she had a whole

meat and grief for the dog. You're telling me that you get kicked out of the bed because the dog. What are you feeling like the dog is on your side? Now, what I'm surprised that you didn't say is that but you didn't want the dog in the bed because the dog has been on the ground and touching whatever it's been touching. And I respect the fact of having a dog lick everywhere. And I'm toil like you like going to a restaurant and I'm seeing the dog at the table,

Like I'm like, wait a minute, this is not a park. Heck, when I'm even in the park, why hasn't the dog on the leash? And I like dogs? Um, But what I'll say with this is that you need to have a conversation with her. I don't think there's anything wrong with you express them because at the end of the day, you're not here for the dog, and it's only going to be a certain amount of time that you can

keep holding your piece before you explode. And you wouldn't one of relationship to explode over something that's outside of you two, because it's YouTube that are building something and when you are, all the outside sources to come in. Now you're kind of like crambling or getting your relationship mixed up. But there's a lot of static clear communication. Now, what's gonna happen if she says, hey, it's you're the dog.

I don't think you'll come to that point. But I think something that should be said about, Hey, whether a dog can sleep in the bed? I mean that is your bed too. And you have to realize too, how you do anything is how you'll do everything. So if you can't speak up by simply mentioning about a dog being in the house and how your disposition, what does that look like if you plan to build with this woman and you plan to have children, What does it

look like when you have to decide what school? What does it look like when you have to speak up to your boss about whether or not you want to raise. You have to learn to speak up for yourself. You have to know where your boundaries are. You have to know where to cut off your limits. Now, it's fine and hunky dory, per se if she loves a dog, but you gotta understand how much you love her and also how much you love yourself, and that comes with limits.

Here's the thing. You said that there were some rules that were broken. You said rules one and three. That tells me that you seem like a guy that like says ducks and or and the fact that you have one you have a dog that you did not choose. Two. You have to walk on eggshells. You can't be you in the relationship. What's the point So you're not sleeping in the bed alone? What? I don't know about you, but I said, there's one thing with friends. I'm not

showing up in person to not be in person. So don't come talking to me while you're on your phone or you're distracting because why are we here? So what are you in a relationship for? If you can't communicate, if you can't be yourself, If dogs aren't your things, so what is your thing? And why are you allowing it to be your thing? Now? You can try to hold yourself all you want, but then explode later than what and it all? It's going to be your fault.

It's your fault because whether or not you communicated enough and whether or not you studied your boundaries. Now, because of the fact that you said there are rules that tells me that you and your girlfriend made some sort of agreement, then we step into the realms of accident or a disrespect because we need to make sure that we honor our words. Your words are your integrity, and

your integrity is all that you have. This is in a dramatic sense, but I say that if you are communicating with somebody and you're both on the same understanding and someone changes it, that's the miscommunication. Don't let this be the start of something major that will only continue to build on your life. Think about it like this. You may be avoiding this conversation with your girlfriend or just being frustrated and annoyed. Think of it like a callous,

a callous that you keep hitting something. So what happens the protective shield? It keeps getting thicker and thicker, and you know what, something so thick you can't get in there and it becomes to be rough. Imagine that type of abrasion in your relationship. We're so thick that you guys can't touch each other, because you can't see each other, because you can't speak to each other. You see how

that wedge starts to build in your relationship. Now, while you're a person who doesn't necessarily like dogs, you gotta ask yourself, is this the type of woman that you want to be with? Again? This isn't a person that's just babysitting a dog because her sister is out of town. This is a person who uses her time on the weekend to take care of the dog. So when you're gonna take care of you and stand up for yourself. So when you ask me, oh, hey, you know, am

I the run of the letter? You're only the run because you're choosing not to speak up. You're choosing not to stand in your truth, and your truth is you ain't trying to be by the wayow dog, and if you are, don't put the dog in the bed. Don't let the dog look on my face. Have a conversation. This isn't a deal breaker, but I'm telling you now, don't make a little a lambline into a mountain. You're

hearing me, all right? That's all I got for now. One, Let's move on to the next letter subject more lame x uses. Dear Dawn, the guy had been dating for a few months to ask me out on Wednesday for a dinner date on Friday at six pm. At four pm on Friday, he called and I missed it. A minute later, he texts that he was very sorry, but he would need to cancel our day tonight since some good friends of his came into town on a lark and he was going to see them. No word if

they were male or female. I wasn't that bothered by it on principle, but the fact that he didn't invite me to join them did bother me. I wouldn't have wanted to go out with a lot of people that evening, but it was ruined out to ask. I would never have done this to him, and it made me realize that this was the second time he'd canceled on me like this when a friend came into town. Who are these friends exactly? You heard Marton? Because I was wondering too,

and what have I never met them? I feel like I'm being paranoid, but I also don't want to be with someone who can't keep me keyed in on their life. Then again, what if he's cheating? Ain't I don't know? Should I confirm him about these lamemks uses? Oh? Child, things are gonna get easier, I hope lame excuses. Okay, So you say you've been dating this guy for about

three months. It was interesting, um talking with my engineer and he was just explaining to me how you know, just in the past relationship of somebody he's dating about being clear. Gotta be clear. See when you know what it is, you know what it ain't, you know what you can't? You know what you can't? I say that

does dating mean exclusive? Are you the one now? Considering the fact that he has a tendency to change plans in the last minute and you never know a reference is who this particular friend is that comes in town. Leads me to believe that perhaps whatever this relationship or dating ship that you are in. Is it perhaps the

exclusivity of the one that you hope for. I only say that is because you're in the dark, and Vitamin D we're all about cutting the lights on, says you're gonna have to cut your lights on in this situation. You know, people often ask like, you know, how do you assess the situation or how do you read a situation? You gotta trust the vibe. You know what you feel,

and it's one or two things. Either it's truth of what you think and it's not right, or there is no truth in it and you still don't feel right. Either way, you still don't feel right. And that's the key you to be comfortable in your relationship because it either says that the person isn't ready for you or you aren't mature for the relationship because you're not communicating. Now, if he is bringing in somebody, it does seem to me that there's a disregard of just canceling on you.

And I just want to make sure that you understand your value and know what you deserve and to know what you're in. You know, it's like trying to tell somebody what your location is and you're unable to read the GPS. Are you reading this relationship correctly or this dating ship correctly? What are your expectations? Mm hmm, what do you foreseeing a relationship? Because again you have to

teach people how to treat you. And if you are saying you're in a relationship now and this man can cancel that you on any moment, at any last minute because he has a special friend to come in town, I can't say that that says a lot about you because what are you allowing? How you do anything, it's how you'll do everything. Let me say that again, how

you do anything, that's how you'll do everything. So if you handle this relationship of just staying in the dark, not being sure, wondering, if you're paranoid, spinning your head in circles, then go ahead. But to ask somebody else if somebody is cheating, only you would know, you know the vibes. Look, we're grown. Did you say how old you were? Let me say on this letter, no, you

didn't say how old you were. But there comes a time where you're gonna have to what they say is read the wrong, take the context clues, and that's going to after you evaluating what it is that you want and what your expectcitations are in a relationship. Do you hear me? Do you want somebody that's just gonna kill it so let you at the drop of a time. Do you want somebody's gonna keep you in the dark

about meeting a friend that you have no idea? Tell me you didn't say he was your man, You said he was dating, So I mean, looking at that, I don't think he really owes you anything. Mm hmm. First find out where you guys staying before you start enquiring where his whereabouts are and why he's doing you the way that he's doing. You need to know where this relationship is. That's what I say. The first step is okay,

all right? The next letter subject invasion of privacy. Dear Dawn, My girlfriend doesn't trust me, and she has no reason not to. We've been dating a few months and last night we had a date and things were really going well. She was over at my place for dinner and when I went out to have a smoke, she got into

my phone and started going through my messages. After I got back, she confronted me, very angry and asked me, who are barbed and celest I felt very violent and told her she had no business looking at my phone barbed and celest our work colleagues, which was clear from the conversation. But she doesn't believe me. She accused me of being a cheater, stormed out. I haven't heard from her in days. I really like her, but recently she's

been acting in ways that I think are erratic. I've tried to ask her what's happening and to create a space where she feels like she can talk about it, but she just tells me she's fine and we sit awkwardly for a while before going to bed. I don't want to end the relationship, but I feel like I can't even talk to her to work out this disrespectful stuff and move forward. Well, listen, hey, if you can't

talk to her, get out the relationship. I don't know if this is a theme and everybody decided to write the same kind of letter on this day, but it seems as though the theme is about communication. You need to communicate, Peter it, that's it, because who wants to be any type of relationship or one I have to keep looking over my shoulder, meaning are you cheating or peeping or be on the other end of work, if I leave my phone, if I leave my journal, if

I leave my computer open, are you snooping? Who wants to live like that? You know, we just had the other brother talking about he didn't want to confront his girlfriend about the dog and whether or not he had to walk on end shelves. I don't know about you, but you know they stay Home is where the heart is right, and whether that's figuratively in those four walls that you stay in or home that you find that love with the person, it's love, it's a connection. It

feels good. You are no have no business being in a relationship that doesn't feel good. That's not right, and feeling good does not look like you gotta I gotta look over my shoulder or you going through my business because we're so open and we're so communicative that you know what's going on now. If these are your co workers, I do find this interesting. How come she doesn't know who bar and Celesti are? Huh? Because if they're casual enough to be in your phone, that's somebody that will

come up in the cusual conversation. But hey, I'm not surprised that you may not know that because the fact that she's snooping around tells me there's a disrupt in the conversation in the communication because she doesn't know who they are. Now me personally stand on the outside. If I saw somebody in my mates phone, I would hope that there's some type of conversation because this isn't just like the homie. This is your your love her your homie love her friend, this is your baby, this is

your boo, this is your rider die. What is this you know? And another thing too. I wouldn't sound condoned like people to be angry, but one of the things I think is so important that when you're looking at a relationship and feelings are involved, you're not gonna be hurt as far as being sad, and you're not gonna be angry if you don't care about somebody. So it's not a question about she doesn't care about it and

she's trying to be all of their business. It's just a matter of whatever reason she's left in the dark, whether it comes from lack of communication about who these people are, or it could be on the flip of the coin and now you didn't have any indication of this, but she could be very insecure. Do you understand how it still doesn't work? You know, I think about just my relationships and as I'm cleaning the inventory, and you know, I talked about this before. How you have to treat

certain people like you have a white outfit on. You have to understand the proximity in the distance of how close do you allow somebody to come in contact with you? And sometimes when you have to let people go, it doesn't mean that they're a bad person. It just means that we aren't serving in each other. And if somebody doesn't serve you, they don't deserve you. Remember, love is not about how much you can take. It's all about

how much you can give. And if you're on the edge and constantly feeling like she's peeping in your stuff, that means you're closed off because you're on eggshells. And if she's happened to tip around and deepen and dig into your stuff, she's on eggshells. Two, how can you be with one another? But I'll tell you this, all hope isn't lost because you guys clearly care about each other. You care about enough to even write end this letter. She cares about because she's going through your stuff and

and getting emotionally involved with it. Sit down and once again have a conversation, whether one you need to explain to her how you feel about her going through your stuff, and then too you need to tell her who barm celestar. Now you can say all you want. The conversations are very clear. Who got time to be scrolling up all in the conversation to see who said what? She just saw the names, and you guys were comfortable, and she probably got upset because she said who are they? And

why are you talking after workouts? Which is why why are you talking at the workouts? What is a kiki call? All? What is it? So as a female or just as a person who has been in a relationship, I would probably wonder too, because what hasn't it coming a collusual conversation and not like it's a bulletin. It's just part of a conversation. It just comes up. And when somebody is left in the dark, you can only get scared

to think about it. If you're in a room and the lights are off, you'd be literally you'll be anty. And that's what they say. The truth is the way, The truth is the light, because the lights on you can see. And that's what it's about. Seeing when you're going, whether it's in your job, whether it's in your relationship intimately or platonically, you just gotta see. And right now you gotta see. There's some communication. Let's build it up, figure out what's going on, but definitely make sure you

figure out why exactly that she doesn't trust you. And I say that because you say in this first line, my girlfriend doesn't trust me and she has no reason not to. Who How are you gonna sit here and tell her what she has no reason not to? Clearly she doesn't e't know who Barbara's let's start. That's a very you know, cocky thing to say. How are you going to speak with some of somebody else said? Hm hmm.

There's some work to be done on both sides, but either way, talked to her, assure and figure out what's going on with this. Okay, all right, let's go onto the next letter subject kid make heads or tales of his intentions. Oh lord, dear Dawn, I think the gime dating has an issue with commitment. He doesn't call regularly, and he asked me out on days at spontaneous times, and I don't like that, though when we do go out it's great, and even though we haven't gotten past

third base, the sexual chemistry is off the charts. I like him a lot, and he builds himself as a provider, but he seems so ephemeral that I don't know if he'd be a stable partner. Like last week he told me his ex wanted to see him for lunch. He went and didn't say anything about it till I asked him. And the week before that, he broke a date with me that he had made literally that same day at

the last minute because something came up at work. It just seemed like he doesn't want to be here with me. But also acknowledge that I could be just making this up in my head. I'm thirty five and he's forty five. I'm about myself, my business and my dreams. I want to get married and have kids, and frankly feel like I'm running out of time. But I also I don't want to be such a perfectionist that I miss out on something so good. So tell me, as an outside observer,

am I wasted my time? Well, let me ask you this. If somebody blindfolded you and told you to walk in the circle. How far did you get? I said that comparison because you're in the dark. You don't even know where you stand, so of course you can't make clear of his intentions. On top of the fact, just like I've said before, when somebody shows you who they are the first time, believe them. Now what you said, that's your thirty five he's forty five. Y'all grown like big grown.

And I don't know about you, but I think there comes at a certain time with maturity and age that you realize that you value your time. And that's what I'm gonna have to speak to you on this. This has nothing to do with him. I want to talk to you for a second. We need to discern how much you value in yourself and how much you love yourself.

Um and ask yourself that you know you're talking about this sexual chemistry, but your complaints are on everything opposite of that, are on the other side of the spectrum, per se. So then it becomes to what's more important to you. Are you okay just having spontaneity of oh can we do this? Or are you a person that wants to be planned to feel like you have a

place right? Are you going to be just the Oh, let me go to seven up and fill up my slurpy, or are you going to be that dinner that we prepare that I went to the grocery store that I sees in the meal, that I cooked the meal, then I presented the meal out. That's only up to you now if you ask me, from what I am seeing here, he's not that into you. Since um, and I say that because you're not clear. You know, it's just like you know, you said that you're about your business. He

said that you're about your dreams. You said that you're about yourself. You know, they said your first relationship. And why so important is self love is because it's the relationship of how you teach others how to treat you. If you are clear on yourself, if you are clear on your business, if you are clear on your dreams, why wouldn't you be clear on the next thing that's connected to you in a relationship. The difference here is says you know what clarity looks like. You said it,

I'm about my business. Mm hmm. Would you treat because I'm only going to speak to you this way because you understand the importance of a business and a dream. Would you be okay with showing up for your dream and then suddenly somebody drops the ball or somebody and show up? Based on what I just read, you wouldn't be okay with that, So why would you settle that and your relationship with somebody that you're trying to build with. That's why I say, how you doing anything is how

you do everything. You do. Not want to infiltrate that into your life, okay, to cause more clutter, to cause more confusion. Remember we're looking for clarity. Now here's the thing. I'm not sure what the pressures are, but you're talking about he doesn't call regularly, So why are you up here talking about you ready to get married and have kids? Are you insinuating that with with him? Hold on, since it I get it. Thirty five The heat is on. No, it is on, I understand. But it's just like a cake.

You can't take it out before I was ready. You can't serve up cake batter. So whatever you think you're cooking up in the kitchen, this ain't the cake boom. And to may, you can't eat this cake because he's not showing up to bake the cake. Now I get it he got the ingredients. Um, you say that he's a provider, so I I take it his financialist together. And you know, he probably keeps himself up. You know, he's spontaneous, he probably shows a swag, he got the

chemistry or whatnot. But he's not that into you. Another thing because he doesn't call regularly. Are you sure that he's available, because again you said, I want to get married and have kids. But frankly, I'm running out of tome, honey. I think that you might be on a different race track than him. I think that you guys are seeing two different things and you can't miss out on something good that ain't even then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, peripheral, you

understand what I'm saying. So as an outside observer says, you might be wasting your time, especially because of the track and the plan that you are on the track of saying, Yo, I'm ready to get married and have children. This brother ain't even ready to call you his consistent girl. So you can sit here and and try to make yourself number one in his life. But remember you're the price to be chosen. You remember that guys like to go after the chase. Allow him to chase you show

him I you expect to be treated. Are you gonna be okay if he didn't come home every night and y'all got kids there? Are you gonna be okay if he doesn't call the check in regularly on whatever appointments? Are you gonna be okay? With inconsistency? You wouldn't be where you are with your business. You wouldn't be where you are with your dreams. I'm wondering you wouldn't be where you are with yourself because it takes self to build up all that kind of stuff without the clarity.

So you've done so well for yourself. Don't let yourself slack off in the most intimate relationship that you can have. And that's somebody who is going to be honored to have the gift to call you his partner. I'm gonna have to ask you to to to sharpen your vision a little bit, sharpen your ears, sharpen that intuition inside to see this what it is. You know, you can't claim something that isn't available to you. You can't take a cake out of the oven before it's baked. Now,

you sound like you got the ingredients. You just gotta find somebody else to mix with. Okay, all right, let's go on to the next letter subject selling out or letting go of grief. Dear Dawn, I am a thirty eight year old artist and I really don't know what to do with the painting that I made. I made it as a gift for a friend who was now deceased. His family gave it back to me when they moved abroad, and I've been holding onto it in my living room

for the last six years. Because of my day job, I'm usually on a zoom call with some wealthy person or another, and while staring at the screen for seven hours a day is brutal. I usually managed to make it through. I normally use an alternate background for my cause to avoid seeming unprofessional, but recently, on a call with the client I have had for OH, I had my real background visible. The painting was hanging up and

it wasn't clear of you. I didn't think anything of it until the client asked me about the painting before our call ended. I told him about and I think he took me to mean that I was just holding onto it. He offered me a lot of money for it. I was a little caught off guard both by the ask and the amount I told him I would think about it. So it's the most money I've ever been offered for one of my pieces, and that's just a

big achievement for me. My wife thinks I'd be crazy not too, but I can't help but feel like I'm doing something dirty or wrong by selling the connection to my friend. But then again, it's a lot of money and it could do a lot for me and my family. Part of me thinks that my friend would want me to sell it. Maybe I'm just still grieving and afraid to let this go. I don't know. Can you tell me your thoughts? Okay, I can really speak on this.

I've been transparent about this, and you can definitely remind some episodes back earlier on and I talk about how letting go. I speak on the perspective of saying that I learned through my mother's transition that oftentimes the greatest form of love is letting go um And even thinking of my mom, one person that I've lost, and in her life, she's had so much loss that she's held onto things. So I've talked about that, talked about the love of letting her go, to allow her to transition

so her body can feel what she feels. There's no grief, and then there's the whole thing of just letting go. As I've been telling you how I've been getting my apartment together, I'm still in transition. I'm building peace by peace, but sometimes it takes things to go peace by piece so that you can find your peace. Now, the thing that I found interesting about this painting and why bring it up. You can't hold on and horre things because

it takes up space. Now, how to identify where your relationship stands with this painting is because any other time, based on you saying that you're implementing virtual backgrounds says that you don't want anybody's just it, almost as if it was shame. It was only this one time that it was caught off guard that somebody else recognized the beauty and said, hey, I want to offer some money for it. And you've heard it before. Another man's trash

is another man's treasure. Gifts aren't meant to be held onto you. Nobody says I have a gift that I'm holding onto the whole Gifts are meant forgiving. And so it was in the season of your life where you know, you made a painting for your friend and he gave your friend joy until the final death. But now if you have no reasons for holding onto it, why are you holding onto it for clutter? Even your wife said, hey, you could use the money. So here's the thing too.

Let me correlate this as I was talking to myself with giving my home together and how I have to make some room for my blessings that are about to come. It's just like if you were running track. It's just like if you are driving on the freeway in your car lane. Do you know how far you can move when that track or that lane is clear and you have stuff and things you're holding onto one there's energy that's being placed in it too. It's taking up space,

whether that's for blessings, whether that's for opportunity. Because you're so gun hold by holding that, you didn't even make room for the next blessing to come. Understand two, and this is something that you have to balance out with. Your friend isn't in that painting. Let me say that again, your friend is not in that painting. Here's a difference. It would be one thing and that was your pride and enjoy that painting. And I'm not saying that you were ashamed of it, but I only say because any

other time you aren't showcasing it. Now, I myself have different memorabiliar from my mom, like her jewelry, things that I've seen her wear, things that means something to me. My mom's jely was important and joy what was important for us growing up. So when I wear my mom's ring, or if I have her necklace or have a bracelets, it's a memory of my mom. And I'm using had to carry with me. You're not carrying this painting with you. Heck,

you're not even showing the painting. Now. You're in a situation of blocking yourself because you're like, I don't want to give up that painting when you're blessing could be that money. What is that painting going to do for you? M hmm. But I'm not here to tell you what you shouldn't do. I'm just saying that if you're in a situation of one, it's not something that you're completely bragging up and screaming up to the eartops about it.

Why once you get some money, as you said, you needed, allow your gifts to bless you, allow life to bless you, but remember you gotta make room for blessings. You'd be surprised how when you start getting rid of things and letting go of situations and letting go of different relationships, how much more there's gonna come in. Heck, let's just think about oxygen. If somebody would have put you in a room, right put you in a box, air tight box, it's only for soul all that you were able to

breathe off your own oxygen. So I gotta ask you, are you ready to breathe? Because right now, when we hold onto stuff in that room, it's nothing but carbon dioxide. You gotta have oxygen to breathe. And see, even breathing itself is that movement to keep going, to keep growing, to keep being and doing. You are staying in a

situation of where you're stuck. You're frozen. You're like, hey, I just want to hold on to but blocking what's visible, not just the background that you're using having visible, what's visible for the opportunities in your life. Mhmm. Your friend isn't in that painting. So if you asked me, I let it go. And this is coming from somebody who has lost someone. If it's something that you have to put away out of shame, then perhaps it's not meant

for you to showcase. Let somebody else honna and treasure that beauty. Let somebody bless you for where you need to be blessed. Who is that to say if that wasn't your friend for blessing you back for all those years that you created that painting for them, right, who's to say that that's not the gift returning back to you? But see, that's what happens when you get so caught up, just just think about us driving or walking down the

street or just moving. You get so caught up and looking behind you you miss the abundance of the opportunity in front of you. Now. I mentioned the car because hey, could you imagine if you spent your whole life on that little review mayor trying to see what's behind you an opportunity. Blessings are as big as your winds ship that takes up your entire your view. Hello, they say, if you want to be somebody, and if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.

I know that you loved your friend, but allow your friends to bless you. They're not in there. You still talk to your friends, you still got journals, you still got the memories that lasted in your heart, in your mind. But let go of this piece of art and allow their gift of painting to come back and bless you. Allow your friends, energy or whatever inspired you to make that painting bless someone else. And if you choose not to, then you better showcase that bad boy and stop playing.

Because if somebody else can see a beauty in something and it's willing to offer you an astronomical amount that you can't see, what are you holding onto it? For life is too short to not have anything in your life that isn't beautiful, So can you let it be beautiful? All right? That's it for the rest of the letters.

I enjoyed that, you know, I think it back in these letters, I think the common theme has been communication um different parties, and whether it be communication with self, of knowing that you need to get off the clearance right I can get behind the glass where the valuables are, whether or not. It's knowing your worth and your relationship with other people and knowing how to communicate that. It's about knowing itself. See, that's what I'm saying with Vitamin

D is about. You know. I talked about this before, but we heard the song when we were her children. This little lot of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Hey, you ever heard somebody say you're shine from the inside out. Cut on that light so that you can see the good and the bad. Because we're supposed to be better and do better. And for each person that wrote the letter, thank you. Thank you for taking time to love on you. Thank you for taking time to want to be better

and to do better. Thank you for being so warnerable enough to just share yourself to open up. You are appreciated and you are mind for that. And if you were just listening and you gotta letter that you want to write, I want you to email me. Send it to Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay, And I also want to offer this up. I talked about this before, but I want to offer some Vitamin D sessions. You know, it's just a one on one conversation. If you like the advice letters, let's have a sit

down chat. Pow wow, we'll talk. Let's do it. I offer, as you know at no cost for thirty minutes. My only requirement is that you leave a review and tell your friends to tell your friends about it, and subscribe to the Vitamin D podcast because you can hear it on every platform. And again, who doesn't want to be excited about the life. We live a life on purpose and for a purpose. Okay, well that's it for your doss. Vitamin D um shine your life. Continue to shine your life.

And in the meantime, I want to make sure that you follow me on all social media at Dawn day Speaks in case you need some extra Vitamin D in your life. And I want to leave you with something. I want you to always remember that you are your greatest guys. Act