Advice Letters 6

and inspiring. It's also about cutting the light on. And when you cut the light on, you realize you're gonna see some good stuff and the bad stuff. And this is not a podcast where we're just gonna focus on just all the good stuff. Everything that smells like roses um um, looks like butterflies. We want to get in

the book because we talk about the light. If you think about it like a diamond, that the reason why that diamond is so beautiful and why it shines the way it does is because the light starts to reflect off of every cutting and every piece of it. And if we related to ourselves rather than hiding things that you know may not be picture perfect, but to be transparent with self, that light that shines in it will

just keep reflecting and see. If we try to cover these things up, what happens is is that it gets swallowed in. It's just suffocates into a dark shadow. And I don't know about true, I don't know about you, but I'm just trying to illuminate it. I'm just trying to shine. I'm just airing out. I'm clearing out in this season. What about you? What has been your mode for you know, it's February already, what's going on? And it's just the checkpoint, no pressure, but just something to

think about, because that's what the light is. The light is to see. So I guess I'm looking in. I'm checking in with myself as we're going to the second month. And you know, this season is always a little iffy for me, and I usually I kind of forget until I realize that my body is remembering and it was this month. What is it? It was this month? What?

Nine years ago? Then my mother died? Yeah, and the thing that, uh, you know, I've been working on trapping of what I want to talk about in the podcast as far as I mentioning my mom, you know, how I wanted to place it and I still don't know how, but I guess I had to remember a memory pop up on Facebook. It was a post I put up,

and I'm gonna go to it right now. It was it popped up on Facebook as a memory way back, and it said twenty twelve, and the memory stated I was like, I'm excited about being the boys for Black History Month, you know what I'm saying. And so I think about that, and I just can't help but think about my mom because I remember when it was time for me to go back to Detroit, because the act just that said, Hey Dawn, you need to get out here. Hey Dawn, you know just whatever you need to do,

make sure you get out here. And I was so excited um to tell her. So here here's the post from February seven. I just had a surreal moment. I just why I wanted the Beyonce Jinette I voiced for Music Choice. Yes, I am the network's voice for Black History Month hashtag humble and that's when I lived in New York. I saw that because I remember in that

point of joy, I was so excited. And it wasn't until which every day this was ulve that following weekend, I was heading to Detroit to go see my mom, and you know, my body remembers it because it was

so traumatic. Because we're about to do we're about to step into the whole season of Whidney's Anniversary, and um, you know, I guess my whole point of just mentioning this is that when we're doing check in and Self, it's always going to be something here in this moment in February seven, I had no idea that in a couple of weeks my mother was going to be that deceased. Going from the start year old on was not going

to have her mother anymore. Didn't know that. So check in with yourself, living life on purpose and for purpose, and who knows, you know, this couple episodes this month, I might dive in and just really get into that story I'm still figuring out. But that's what my check in is that So if you just do it in the Vitamin D welcome, That's what the podcast is about.

It's about shedding the light. And while oftentimes I'll come in with the guest, there are other times that you know, I'll read an advice letter and if you've been listening, you'll see that we've added some quick doses during the week, and quick doses are kind of like with vitamin D. First started out as it was like a minute splurge and I would use the lyrics of popular music and

intertwined into a motivational message. Yeah that was vitamin D. Yeah, I mean it still is vitamin D, but because I wanted to make sure I revived the spirit of vitamin D on on ahead and you can catch those on a Wednesday and Friday or whenever because it's it's accessible to see you whatever on whichever platform. You know, you can't contain the light because the light just shines. Okay, so make sure you check that out. And this episode

is going to be about advice letters. So you guys have written in, we've solecited out to submit any advice letters, any questions or any inquiries about Vitamin D to Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks dot com. So on these advice letters, people right in about love, about relationships, about their career, about anything that's playing in them because they liked some advice for me. So that's what we do. And I want to say this, as I say on each advice letter episode, Okay, I'm gonna keep it red

with you, okay. Just as though fire can keep you warm, it can burn you. I say all that to say is that all of it is meant for good. It may come out in a way that may seem harsh or not so kindly or quote unquote vitamin d airy soft lovely like, but I understand that just like a year and the young that's part of the vitamin D two. So I keep it real, unfiltered on curR and um. I had a chance to glance over the letters a little bit because I always like to familiarize myself and uh,

you know, I hope to share. Hopefully I can share some of the things that I've experienced in my life as I give this advice, because uh, we gotta keep it real. We gotta keep it real, yo. That that should be the deal from today moving forward, keeping it for real more importantly with yourself, because that's who you gotta live with onkur all right, So without further ado, it's time for your dose. Does a vitamin D right with me? And get excited? Alright, y'all? Um, here's the

first letter A subject. How should I ask for a raise? Dear Dawn, I've been within my company for nearly five years and in my current role as a project manager for nearly one year. I live in the UK. By the way, After doing a lot of research on websites like last Door, I've come to realize my salary so far as less than average of my particular role in

my region. I know I was underpaid anyway, as there seems to be a lot of secrecy around the subject and being unable to talk about salaries with my peers on the same level the offices have been opened throughout the whole pandemic. Anyway, I pulled my boss into a room and asked for a pay raise the best way I could. His response was that I've been in the company roll long enough and my work is good enough

to start thinking about it. However, this was over two weeks ago and I have yet to hear anything from the conversation. I'm struggling to work out at what point I should ask send a reminder about it, and even what to say, or if I should say anything at all. My life is progressing quite rapidly as a mid twins man, and extra pay is verging on it needed rather than want it, And what can I do? Hello? You better know yourself and know your worth. That means you got

to speak up, you know. Um, I remember years ago I came across this quote, this picture, and uh, it's an image of clothing and it says, get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass where the valuables are. Hello. Usually find the fine things in life behind the class because it kind of needs that protection. Nothing to block the view of it, but just to add an extra show of the protection. You know, always think of diamonds and you know we talk about vitamin D. Always think

about the light and the diamonds. So that's what I say to you. Now here's the thing what I want. I want to appreciate you for for writing this in because there's some awakening going on. And you know, congratulations for you for even stepping forth and and confronting your boss or I shouldn't say confronting, but pulling your boss aside to say, hey, I need to be compensated for my worth. And and the thing that I really think this is promising is because your boss didn't say no.

Your boss just said okay. But you have to do the follow ups. When we want things out of life, you can't ask or expect somebody to demand of you to want the best for yourself. You can't expect or ask or a demand that somebody wants you to have the best life. You have to walk in a situation of knowing your worth noring your value so people can treat you as as such, and you have to understand it and to keep it real with yourself. Here's the

thing too. One of the first things that I would say is get your numbers in order, you know, because you can say, hey, I deserve this. But now it's time to use the business protocol and write it and make it plain were here biblically speaking, write the vision and blanket plan. You need to write your efforts, what you do and make your play. I myself have been

in similar situations and going through that right now. It comes down to the point where you know your work and you can see that if you still been in your position and you're still getting accolades and praising for your work. Now it's time to get the numbers down, because either you're gonna get these numbers down for this job or you're gonna be preparing yourself with the next job.

But here's the thing. You gotta move and just like I talked about on Vitamin D, and just like we talk about life and being an energy source, you're not meant to just stay in the same position because that's functioning, and we're not about functioning here. I don't say function your best life. I say live your best life. And that's gonna cause you to have to get some things in order, you know, um, but it's gonna be about what you're ready. You're gonna have to get those pieces.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with following up. I think you could definitely do a peek in, but I think one importantly get your ducks in order, even though ducks don't walk into orders day and three Brown told me. But I mean to say, is get down what you've done, how long you've been there, and what do you feel that you should be compensated for. Because if I'm looking at giving you my money, you can say, hey, I want some more money done, But show me what

have you done so that I can see it. Because I imagine what your boss is probably over maybe a dozen or more other employees. It's not that they don't value that, they just might be busy. So I'd say you get everything written out. But um, don't sit there and be quiet about it because Drake said it. No yourself, No, you're you're on your worth. Get off the clearance where I can get behind the glass where the valuables are. Hello, clothes mouths, don't get fed. I don't know how many

other ways. UM, I can say, get rich or die. Try in um scare money, don't make no money? Um hashtag get money, hashtag pick up for yourself and do what you gotta do. Okay, but good for you for sticking up and taking that first step. And look at you.

If you're in your mid twenties now, Okay, if you're in your mid twenties now and you're able to fool your boss aside, imagine when you get to your late twenties, and then when you get to your thirties, the men thirties, and I know, oh what sounds scary with the age. But I say all that to say, it's the growth. Because now you may be negotiating what a three thousand, five thousand, ten thousand. The next time it's going to be more steaks on the line. It's gonna be more

about more vacation days. What those bonuses are gonna look like start acting as if you already are you already said You're not in the whole. You know, you're in a situation of acquiring the life that you want. You know, so I want you to have the best, and I want that for yourself too. Okay, all right, let's go on to the second letter subject, feel too stressed to think? Dear Dawn. I am usually a very chill, laid back guy. Since last January, I slowly but truly became more toxic

and stressed out over time. It began when my father was inches away from death due to kidney failure. I was devastated. They told me a transplant might be needed. He somehow miraculously got better in February, but I remained stressed. Then it all went downhill with the Corona Lockdown. During it, I was extremely stressed because it was my last year of medical school and no one knew what would happen or if we would need to go out into the field.

Also was amplified by the past events with my father and the isolation of lockdown itself. Things ended up going smoothly and I'm not working on my residency, but I remained extremely stressed. I try to relax, but I just can't stop thinking about all the suffering that people are going through, and how my father is super high risk and how I'm unable to see him. So after months of this, it is taking a very big toll on my relationships. I've been snapping with my girlfriend, I haven't

spoken to my friend some weeks. I rarely even call my dad. I just don't know how to stop the downward spout or find the light in my life. Is

there anything you think I should try? Hello young man, Thank you, thank you, Thank you for reaching out, thank you for saying that I'm not okay, and I'm here to tell you that it's okay not to be okay, because oftentimes, you know, people get so used of not being okay that it becomes their norm and they start to observe everything that you said, but rather than saying, hey, is there something I can do or I should try,

they kind of just wallow in it. So one of the first things I'd say, definitely put your feelers out there, open up your mind to see a therapist, because you can have, you know, friends, and you can listen to motivational tapes, you can meditate, you can listen to music, but I think sometimes it takes somebody skilled in that area that can really give you the advice and the viewpoint that you really can need. But in the instroim

or not. Blood, let's go and because this is something in addition to right, keep asking yourself these questions, keep taking note of the times that you aren't feeling okay and when they're happening, and start to write, write it down because um, it's something different. You know. I've talked about this before. I've talked about how the importance of writing division and and making it plain. I talked about how you have to be sure to have the communication

with your spirit mind and your physical mind. And the whole idea is is that you have to realize you're a physical being having a spiritual experience. And what that being said is that while you may have these feelings, but are you physically being aware? And sometimes it takes you to see it to catch it. So as you're going through these films, white down your feelings so you can see what it is, so you can see at what point you're feeling this, and therefore you're gonna start

to have the dialogue with yourself. And then what is it that you wish you did have, because if you keep being in this dark situation, the very moment that got you in the shock about your dad could be the very results of you're not saying him. What do I mean by that, Well, you just said that back in February or January last year year you had a scary bout with your dad, right and you weren't necessarily

um sure of how things are gonna turn out. Because if you're not careful right now, what you're gonna realize is that you're gonna miss all the moment with your dad and if anything anything, Because I can relate to this, my god, not having a parent there, so I know exactly what the trauma that you went through the fact the idea of not knowing. I mean, I live in California.

We have earthquakes. Now. I'm cool with them now as far as like I'm not tripping, but it is literally the earth shaking beneath your feet and everything around you, which that's you know, you have control of nothing. So I can imagine when you said, like, hey, Dawn, my dad was inches away from death due to kidney failure. That is like your whole world is being rocked. And if you think that's not something to take serious, who do you think that you are? And how dare you

not treat yourself with grace? Huh? Nobody's perfect. So when I say that, treat yourself with grace as such, because if you're in a situation, I think that's everything is supposed to be okay. When you almost lost the man that brought you into this world, one of the earliest

representations of a man a figure in your life. And you know, there is the thing we get to itself, this whole part of sometimes functioning that goes back to the functioning thing when we start to ignore things and you just start to move about in life and this whole functioning you don't even realize all the rough bumps that you're hitting just because you've chosen not to get to the heart of the matter. But see, for you, I appreciate it because this God that's all children laid back.

You're noticing the difference with how you feel. And here's the thing. If you don't say anything, if you don't get the help that you need, you can lose everything. When you're stressed out that attects your health. You know

I mentioned this before on a podcast episode. But I remember when I was on Last Make a Deal and I talked to this nurse and um, we had made mention about cancer, and we were just talking about different diseases and what people die of, and I spoke about my mom and I was like, wow, you know my mom died of cancer. And then she said, hey, you know why a lot of people feel as though that it is um cancer or different diseases that people are cancer, I should say rather, she said, well, a lot of

people think that cancer. She said, do you know the number one reason or the cause of death is stress. You can't afford the stress. And remember stress is the whole thing that blocks things. Stress is pressure. Now, there are some instances where pressure apply can make diamonds, right, but this ain't the time of pressure or stress that you need because you're not You don't have the ability

to grow, you don't have the ability to move. So this stress is gonna knock you in your health, your sanity, everything that you built up to do the residency. You thought that the coronavirus gonna get in a way. How about you dealing with the anxiety virus getting in the way, the stress virus getting in a way. Then you're talking about how you're working on this residency. How are you going to be focused if you're playing your your your your mind is racked, and if that's happening at work.

You're even saying that this is happening with your friends and even with your girlfriend. Don't let that mess up your home. And and then like I want to just circle back, you're saying you rarely even call your dad. You went from one moment a feeling with life would be shocked, and how your world will be locked up not having him in your life. He's still here right

now and you're unable to call him. As someone who cannot call their mother or their father, I suggest that you would get the support that you need because if you think it's hard now, imagine when you can't pick up the phone. You can't because something is saying and you that you need to work through the pick up the phone to call. But what do I when you physically can't? So yes, get a therapist. Do not let

your world go down. Do not feel like you've gotta be superman, that you got it all to have it all together. Remember their strength and vulnerability. You gotta let it flow. It's nothing different than the water. It's something that can give life and drown you. Do you hear what I'm saying. Water can give you life and it can take it away. It doesn't take away the beauty of it. But I say to you, don't let this drown you. Take a simp of life by stepping into

the light. Step into the life, by seeing a therapist, stepping into the light, by doing the journaling, step into the light, by raising your sin and say I'm not okay. And you started it with me, but make sure you do it at home to do what check in with

So check in with self. You know, Vinamon did is about selves, as selfish as it might sound, might even died is about self because you realize that when you treat yourself with such that like that, you allowed the light to shine and you it, it shines out to others. And that's what it's about, that synergy. So I would definitely recommend to go see a therapist. You know, um, you don't know how how much time we have left on this earth, and you want to make sure that

you value each moment life. It's too short to be stressed out. Life is too short to be not be enjoyed, so make sure you you get that first and foremost. Okay, Okay, let's move on to the next letter subject. He's romantic, but confusing and Dear Dawn. I'm twenty six living in Fresno, and I met this guy through online dating. He's twenty five and has a decent job, So all the things considered, I figured why not. Who knows what could happen? On the first date about two months ago, we went to

a cafe and it was pretty great. We talked a lot and really hit it off. He let me know he wasn't looking for anything serious and I wasn't really either, so I thought it was a good match. Because of the pandemic. The following dates were at my place, since he lives with his parents. He'd always come over, make some small talk, half sex, watch a movie, and then go for a second round. Sounds nice, right. The thing is, I've had some friends with benefits before, and none of

them were so caring with the others. We were really friends in every sense of the word. The difference is that we added sex, but we didn't cuddle, kiss goodbye, or were romantic with each other, even if we spent the night together at one of our house us. This guy is different. He's always kissing me, cuddling me, feeding me, et cetera. At the same time, he's not much of a talker, since he doesn't treat me like a friends

with benefit, but as a romantic relationship. My brain gets confused because when I try to share about my life, he doesn't have a follow up questions or sure much about his life. My issue is the mixed signals. I'm fine with it being what it is, but I also like to give it a chance. If I knew if he was interested. I can't seem to read him, and I'm afraid to catch feelings with all this romance. Should I ask him? Or as two months too early and

I'm totally overthinking it. Girlfriend, you sound like you're getting digmatized. Now here's the thing. It's interesting. We have a lot of a couple of things I want to unpack in this letter. But first and foremost, you're saying, Hey, Dawn, I'm getting confused. I'm messing around with this dude. He's real more mad say oh, I'm looking for something more. But I'm looking at what you wrote and you said on the first date about two months ago, we went

to a cafe. You talked, talked, and you really hit it off. And he said that he wasn't looking for anything serious. That is the answer right there. He told you from the get go, I'm not looking for anything serious. Now you said, okay, the pandemic happened then and now that you guys had to make it an indoor situation. Right so now, just as on the day, I guess maybe if y'all were to go out to a restaurant you had you a little small talk, then you know,

go home, get it in, Bob, Bob. Not everything is happening at the house. So it's like small talk, Bob Bob. You know, let's rejuvenate. You know, it might get a snap, watch a movie, and then Bob pop again. But you're saying that things are different because he is romantic. You know, he might actually give you into the foreplane. Now, I'm not sure what you're the finding is like a relationship.

But I imagine, ideally for a relationship that I'm looking for, I'm looking for a best friend that I can add on to the intimate aspect, and that best friend is somebody that I laugh with, somebody have fun with. Somebody I share my intimate, dark secrets with. Um, somebody that is checking from me, asking me what's going on, asking

me what I want, want to attend to me. This brother is not doing that, and it's interesting that you're falling for him more when you've had the situation with your friends where you have the moment to chitty chat, when you have the moment to share those you know, the thing that makes a friendship special on top of being attracted to one another. I think what you first need to realize is that this brother said that he

does not want that. And sometimes I think we can get in a situation of creating a world that we desire, and oftentimes it comes with a bit of a smoker mirrors, kind of like an illusion, uh um. And I think that may be going on because when you're telling me that he is not asking about you, he's not doing the follow up questions and he's not sharing. That sounds

like that's a boundary. And I think, if anything, you need to do a check in with yourself to see what exactly did you sign up for, because again, on the first date, he said I'm not looking for anything serious. Another thing I'd say this, you might have to step away from this situation completely because life isn't just black and white. So it's not like you're gonna say, oh, I don't want anything more, and you're not gonna still slowly fall in love or you know, romanticize that by

the idea of being with him. What do I mean by that? So he's gonna be cuddling with you and you're gonna be imagining a relationship needs saying no. Now. As far as with myself, I've had a similar situation like this, not necessarily just a friend with benefits. One of my best friends for years and we crossed the line. And as we've gotten older, you know, um, we spend time with one another and just hanging out as friends.

And I'd say probably I've had more intimate moments as far as us cuddling, us chatting, us being with each other than I would imagine engaging in any type of physical relations with one another. So I think it's important to be clear on what it is that you're looking for when you're talking about a relationship, because you can

get you a jigglow. You know, they can bring out the rolls, pedals, they can bring out the oil, they can bring out the sense that can loose all the smell goods, rub you down, cuddle on you, kiss you, and leave it the next day. And now I have to ask anything. You may even have to know their real name. So with this man, he's telling me, I'm not giving you that. So since the girl, you're gonna have to see that you know, and and you know

you came in there all frivolous. And I think that sometimes when we tell ourselves situations like this is what we want, but secretly you want something alternative. So if you're gonna ask me like what you should do, you need to totally step out of it, because are you overthinking it? I think so whole because he said that's not what he wants and your twenty six, you know, it's still an age of you're having fun. But I think you need to exercise on being clear what it

is you want. And and I'm not even talking about being clear with him. I'm talking about me and clear with yourself because you're talking about this you don't want a relationship, but everything you're asking for us in this relationship, what do you want? Baby girl? But if you stay along with him, he's gonna be wearing you out, guy,

and you're gonna have to keep it real. And it might be uncomfortable because it may say, hey, you actually do want to a relationship whether they're just having fun, And I would say, and I'm not in a sense of judging, but just in a way of just keeping in mind, what do you want out of a relationship. Do you want that friendship that you can build upon and start a foundation with or do you want to kiss kids, hit and quit? And I don't care what

you're doing with your life or anything like that. I don't know if he has to spell it out for you. I think you just need to receive it. Okay. I'm not trying to be you know, shade you or anything like that. Um, I just want you to know what you signed up for. Okay, all right, let's go into the next letter please subject husband won't change relationship status? Should I get a divorce? Oh? Okay, Hey Dawn, So I need some advice on something that may seem small.

After thirty eight years on this earth, I still can't tell if I'm making a big deal lot of things. Ha ha ha. Anyway, I want my husband to put married on his Facebook account instead of saying single. His Facebook always said married. We have been married for three years now, but then he lost his Facebook and made a different one. Well, I looked at this new one a few weeks ago and it didn't say his relationship status on there. I didn't say anything or make a

big deal of it. That a sports earlier. This morning I checked again, and this time the relationship status is there, but it says single. When I confronted him about it, he raged at me, called me insecure, and told me to grow up. I walked out when he started yelling at me to diffuse the argument, which didn't help the situation. It's like every time I expressed my true, honest feelings, he gets angry at me and defensive. I don't know why.

He's had a problem of talking sexually to all kinds of different women over the last few years behind my back, asking them for nudes, and has told females my wife doesn't mind, when in fact, I never said that. I made it pretty clear that I do mind, and I don't appreciate him speaking to females, especially sexually, behind my bag. So I'm really about done with this. Ask what are your thoughts? Though I can break out because I have

my own money in business. But with everything going on, do I need to adk stress of a divorce to it. We live in a world Washington too, so it's a small town and I'm worried that it'd be hard to avoid him. Is this too small a thing to blow my life up Overcirl? Your life has already blown up? And what I mean by that is that the spot is blown up. You know, only a hot cattle screams right. What I mean by that you hit a pressure point. I don't know if it's just with yourself, but I

know it's dog on shore with your husband. And what I'm saying is that you attack something. That's the truth you're talking about some are you you uh making a big deal or is it something you should blow over? First of all, you're thirty eight, okay. You got into this relationship good and grown. Three years into this relationship, you steel good and grown. Your mommy raise no fool. Your dad ain't raised no fool. Your grandma aunt to your grandpa, whoever you grew up, they did not raise

no fool. Now, your husband has a history of infidelity or entertain haying the idea of infidelity, You never said whether or not he slept around who knows. Hey, but you have idea and you have truth. You have prior history knowledge of him putting the debate out there. Now here we are in a similar situation, and you are saying you do not appreciate the fact that his status

says single. Well, I don't know if I'm shriven put based on the past history and the fact that at one point he did say Mary, that never stopped him from dipping out. So what show? What are we really concerned about were concerned about with this um status says? Or are we concerned about the lack of trust that you may have in your marriage? Because say, if he does change the status, what does that change the underlying because it sounds like that's that's the real route of

everything underneath because it never stopped before. Right, So when you are writing in and I'm reading this utter, I need to know what is the argument that you're placing. Now you said like, hey, Dawn, I'm good, I got money, I can get out, you know, and I get it. It's a small town, but there's plenty of fishing to see. Even Baskin Robbins got thirty one flavor so what is it. Are you in a situation where you don't think that

you can find somebody else? But just like I said on the earlier the very first letter, get off the Clarence rack and get behind the glass where the value bozarre because right now, since I'm not sure that you value in yourself, because now you're in a situation where you think that this may be something that's too small. About the comfortability of home. Now, they say home is

what the heart is. Home is what you feel safe, even possibly when you were younger or your parents and your grandparents could tell you when the street lights came on that means you have to go home because you were coverting you're safe. You're telling me right now that I'm not sure you feel safe in your marriage because you're concerned about the fact of the status on the Facebook, which is underlining or which is covering the underlying concern

as to whether or not your husband is faithful. Now, I said earlier on only I had Cattle screams, now you're your your husband kind of didn't outlash like, oh

my gosh, you're tripping. I'm not changing the status. I don't think that there should be uh a situation, because I can imagine this could be like a gas lighting situation, like you're tripping because I haven't changed the status and this something this small, and it's like, well, brother man, based on the history of it, you've been known around a step around, but with boils down. Underneath it all says, underneath it all is that you don't trust your husband.

How do you have a relationship without trust? Because where there's trust, there's communication. Where there's communication, there's understanding. Where there's understanding, there is a mode of receiving one another. And uh, it sounds like you guys have a situation of because and not receiving us causing a lot of insecurity and you know, him getting on rage. I'm not sure that's showing a lot of growth. And and here's

another thing, let's be clear. You know he got all hyped up like the pie yelling bye bye bye bone bone and you walked out to quote unquote diffuse the situation. I kind of said this quite a few times before. How you do anything is how you'll do everything. So what you're gonna get into habit to keep walking out situations when it gets too high, when the volume gets turned up too much. No, because you gotta learn how to communicate. Remember, this is a two way street. And

if you imagine what's this is a Facebook sattus. Right, So what happens if he gets a trainer and start working out. What happens if he's working he wants to go get a drink with the buddies or before this coworkers. What happens? Remember this is a building a block effect. You know, It's like Jinger, don't expect the foundation to only have one block and not expect things to be wobbly,

because in a minute, you're gonna be yelling. Comber says, don't be talking about some of you're gonna have something blowing up. Girl, it's already blown up. And here's another thing, your thing. It's talking about blowing your life over. About the fact of avoiding him throughout the city or the state of Washington. How are you gonna avoid him in your own home? Why don't you? Well, let's get home together, because it's more than just this Facebook status. So let's

just be honest and let's be real with that. Okay, So is it too small? No? I think that there

probably needs to be some therapy. And I say that as some communication and UM, I can't judge how your relationship to go, but I can say, from Dawn's point of view, I would not feel comfortable being in a relationship with somebody that I one cannot um communicate with about things that make me feel uncomfortable and too if I constantly feel like I have to deal with the fact of whether or not you're stepping out on me without dealing with it. I'm not saying that you can't

work through it. I'm saying you're gonna have to deal with it, and that's why I suggest you accounting on this. Okay, thank you for writing in though, and uh, get home in order? Okay, love you buy Okay. Next one subject, young and with a good job, but something's missing, Dear Dawn. So, I'm twenty nine years old, currently doing some industrial work that I started at right out of high school that

has a lot of perks. I make twenty one an hour with room to advance, get two weeks time off every year, along with sick time, a generous retirement plan, and dental, medical, and optical insurance. Thing is, I don't like my job, I don't like where I live. I feel like I have an unsatisfactory life. I've been debating where to go, what to do, but I always get caught up in the fear of doing so. I've already got a year's worth of college credits under my belt

and a fair bit of savings. I've thrown around the idea of getting my degree. I've got friends in other states who have offered me jobs. I'm scared, but I'm not sure what. I'm confident in my work ethic and my ability to keep a job. Maybe it's arrogance, but I believe wherever I'll go, I'll be able to make a life for myself. But I keep finding myself hesitant to make a decision. I don't want to jeopardize my

future someday. I want a family, and I desire to provide for the amenities I never had, and I actually have a secret dream to get into voice acting. One of my friends, who works in the audio recording told me I have a good voice, and while I never want to be in front of the camera, I could put my voice to something. But that's such a crapshot. Is it worth risking my other desires to pursue that even part time? I don't know. Considering that you're kind

of doing the same thing. I wanted to know your thoughts on my situation. Thanks, hello, young man. Okay, get your vitam and do you right here with me and get excited about your lie and get excited about your life. I said, and get excited about your life. Huh oh okay. First of all, thank you so much, Thank you for so much for writing in. I appreciate you. You lost me when you said I don't like my job. You lost me when you said I don't like where I lie. You lost me when you said I feel like I

have an unsatisfactory life. You lost me because I'm waiting on you to find you. M hmm. The piece that's missing is you, young and with a good job. But something's missing. The piece that's missing is you. You gotta find your way back. It's easy, I get it. You got in a situation and I'm sure working you know out there in this industrial job. You know, imagine it's full of labor. You got, you got your money. Everything

looks good, right, But when something is not working. Braced on the life that you've envisioned for yourself, it's time to make an adjustment. It's time to make a pivot. Okay, now here is a prime example when I'm like, Wow, you're not being honest with yourself. Here's the thing. If you're not gonna keep it work with yourself, I'm gonna have to keep it work with you because here's the thing. You said, you're confident in your skill set as far as you're worth ethic and the ability to do That's

a lie. And I know that sound hard. I don't mean that to sound ours, but I'm just saying you're not being honest. You can't say that you're confident and you're worth ethic and your ability to keep a job, because if you were, you would go out there and take a chance on yourself. Can you imagine a bird being afraid to fly because it thinks it can fall.

It was designed to fly. You are designed to pursue your dreams, to live your best life, not by accident, but on purpose, not for a reason, but for a purpose, not for a season before purpose. Live life on purpose and for a purpose. And just like I said with Vitamin D, it's about shutting light, cutting on the life for the good and the bad. Let's cut on the lights about the situation, talking about you got oh, ability to keep a job, and oh, you know your work

ethic is what you got confident because you don't. And I appreciate the fact that you're admitting that you are scared, and I think it's beautiful of not knowing because of what Because if you think about it, I've talked about it before, fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear is false evidence appearing real. This illusion it's like being in a dark wilderness like the valiate death and you can't see.

But here's the thing. We have our valley of death all around us and the only way that we can see is following our intuition. Your intuition is speaking out to you to say that there's more. Here's the thing. Sometimes I believe in God, but their signals, there's energies that are put out to you. There are sides that you have somebody saying, hey, you got something you didn't say, somebody random off the street. You said, your homie that works in the voice recording realm. You even said that

you've expressed interests of even entertaining the idea. Why not go after it? Why not because you're scared? But why you should it is because live a life that you can get up and get excited about take a chance on yourself. One thing about this life right now, you

know you're gonna die. But the thing that's so interesting, even with a verdict a life sentence as such, you know how many people still choose not to live because they procrastinate, because they make excuses, because they like to be comfortable, because it's easy, because their parents told them, because their spouse wouldn't allow him to, because they didn't

want to apply themselves. Come on, take a chance. I'm telling you right now, everything that I have been able to achieve, accomplish, experience has been based on the whole notion that Dawn took a chance on herself, even when it came down to going to Howard Universe City. You know, I took a chance on myself because when I applied I did not get in. Didn't mean that I wasn't smart. I just didn't test well. So I had to show them my credits. Got in, got accepted, graduate with honors,

hosted the graduation, went out to New York. Took a chance on myself on a fellowship that was only guaranteed three months. Those three months turned into five years of getting back to radio. Took a chance on myself to come to Los Angeles, California, with no job, starting from the bottom of not knowing anything or having anything. Digital content producer for a nationally syndicated radio show and which I have a week end segment, and which I have

a podcast featured on the show's website. So when you asked me about taking a chance on self, I'm gonna tell you every time you bet a bit on yourself, because you take a chance every time you walk up this house, get in your car, get on the bus, getting know over, takeing care, get on the train, and get on the bike, get on the scooter, that somebody else may not hit you. You take a chance every

day that that may not be your last breath. So with these forty eight thousand, six hundred seconds, what you're gonna do, Boo, You're gonna take a chance on you. You are in a situation afraid to use your voice for money, but not realizing at one point in your life your voice will cease to exist. Now, I am a firm believer, a speak of life over self. I

told you I got life time in my mouth. You've probably seen on some of the episodes I showed some guests and they've been like, wow, because you gotta speak it over yourself and here's a way of exchange and energy of your life and what you you describe it as a crap shot. I'm a little insulted by that, because nothing is a crap shot. When you're talking about your dreams, I don't care how many people out there.

Do you think that a snow flake, with how small it is, with all the intricate details, I think that there it's a crap shot that will getting noticed because collectively they come together and they create mountains of snow, create joy for people. So what I'm saying that to you, don't diminish the ability of your snowflakeness, the ability of your beauty, your ability to build, to grow, to become more, to live life where you wake up and being excited about it. You said you have a good voice, and

that's fine. Everybody does not have to be in front of the camera. Go out there and take a chance. And you're talking about your future family. This is what I want to say to How you do anything is how you'll do everything right. You can't imagine to do a life, whether that life and we're talking about a life of a career, doing a life like that, and then having a family and being able to do that life to your best ability when you got this other

aspect of your life that you do not like. You know, when I talk about vitamin D and I talk about AY, when I talk about life, i'd say, we always want to give them a place of overflow. You're gonna be in a situation if you decide to stay in this job, and I'm already speaking it over you that you're not gonna stay in this job because this is not where you want to be. And we're all about growing and changing.

But even if you want, do you realize that you won't have the overflow to get to your family to provide those amenities because you won't have the joy to keep going wing. You won't have the momentum to keep orbiting at the speed that you can, with the accuracy, with the creativity, with the energy. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be with somebody that's not enjoying their life. You know, I have to have this

realization with myself. It's been coming to me here as a lame, you know, stepping this realm of being in a relationship. I was like, I gotta be somebody that I want to be in a relationship with. And if you are not enjoying your job, who wants to be with somebody who don't enjoy the job. So you can come home every day complaining about what you don't want, what you don't like, how crampy you are, and how annoyed you are. So what happens when you want to

have a family, we have children? What you're gonna be all crime? Not not wanting to play with the kids, not want to go on the family I don't need too tired to lethargic boys, Stop on your situation, start to explore other realms of employment. You said that you've got some knowledge on your belt. Go ahead, you said your worth as it can get you there, Go and get that degree and see what else is possible. You know, maybe at one point you were forced into this because

it seemed like that was the only way out. But now you've got some sense you don't lived a little bit more. Let me back up. I'm not gonna say you got some sense you've lived a little bit more to know what it is that you don't want so, and since you got a sense of what it is that you want out of life. And guess what this ain't it. You're twenty nine years old. You got so much life ahead of you. You better live like you're still alive. Yeah, take a chance in the voice overs.

You can make a lot of money. Take note. All right, So let's go on to this next letter and the last letter um subject how to be a good friend in trying times. Dear Dawn, my best friend was just diagnosed with cancer. We both are twenty seven. I found out today the prognosis is good so far, and he finds out more in the next few days. We had a short phone conversation just acknowledging how bad the situation is, and had a sad laugh about how typical it was

for him to get cancer during a pandemic. Looking back, it was probably quite glib, but we've been through bad times together before and we definitely deal with it through humor. A mutual friend and I want to send him something, but I just don't know where to start. What's an appropriate gift in this instance? How can I be the

best friend possible in this situation. I've gone back and listened to several episodes that touch on the subject, but I wanted to ask you based on your personal experiences, any help is appreciated. I love that. Oh my gosh, I'm all my age even more. We just came to mind. I can't hear it the soundtrack, waiting to exhale. Count on me. I will be there, a friend shooting up and never wait. Are you okay? Um? Oh my gosh.

I appreciate your friendship with your friend. I've been on the instance of the friend that needed the support now with my mother being diagnosed and having cancer, and what that was like is you really don't know what's going on. I haven't been this situation, thank God, God willing um receiving news on my own bill of health. But I will say that I've had friends or I have a

friend that's dealing with this situation with another friend. I'm a best friend in the same situation of dealing with cancer, and I think the most important thing is to show up. And sometimes showing up is just being there, doesn't mean showing up presenting something you know, I heard you know.

On both sides, Sometimes people want to acknowledge and make it a finger about the situation or sometimes people want to use it escape where I don't have to think about life for that one moment, let me forget that I have this disease and let's just go back to what it was. So do I need you to send me a gift to remind me that I'm in this state? Maybe not. I love how you said that you guys have a good humor. So maybe it's just you being you and doing the same things that were. Because here's

the thing. When we talk about the life that we want, we gotta act as if we already are. It doesn't mean being foolish in it, but it means, you know, the function to live, to exercise thought, words and action, and the life that we live. So do I want necessarily what I suggest? You know, coddling your friends they're being sick. Maybe not, but perhaps just showing up and being there, you know, finding something to laugh about and

depending on what your friends love languages. Um, I have a friend now, uh, whose friend is baling cancer and his friend is all about you know, really loves to have that shout out of love and support. So consisting on social media constantly sending words and encouragement, posting up pictures, Um, so I don't know if there's anything that you gotta get to give other than yourself. And while it is a moment, if this makes sense, don't make it such a moment. You know, to start is just to be

what you've always been. I mean, you said that you guys have been best friends, and um, you said the prognosis is good. So do we need to you know, harp on the bad. Give your friend time to talk about it. And that means allowing room and giving space. I'm learning that, you know, because sometimes we can have the best intentions of trying to show up, but um, and we sign up for things that sometimes people didn't ask us to sign up for. So give some space and be present, whether it be for a call to

check in, just as if you usually would. Definitely having sensitivity towards if um your friend is having a move swing or going through a situation of agitation and having grace in that situation. But just give space to be present. Don't make the thing the thing, if you know what I mean. Okay, keep laughing and keep smiling like y'all usually do. If anything, get some pictureots, pictures, tell some jokes. Make it like it's like old times. Do something that

makes it feel like old times, it feels good. Do something that will give your friend a reason to want to feel that again, because that's what the fight is. Right, Not for you to give me some flowers or a teddy because oh what was me and what I'm going through? But give me something to fight for. You know, the sun gets up every day to rise. Okay, all right, well, jeez, I guess we finished with that. I enjoyed these letters and I consistently enjoy them. Um. I hope that it

was a value of what I said. And if anything, you know, you take away about being your authentic self and being true with self. And that's what I want to say. Shout out to every person that has written and each person that wrote a letter that I read today, Thank you for showing up for yourself. Thank you for reaching out. I said this, Oh episode ago, I was talking about how it's not always about being the smartest, the best, the fastest, but necessarily having the resources to

acquire that. And you know, one of the resources that you can use now if you need an advice, whine me a letter Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks dot com. Because we all can use a little support. We all can use another health we all can use another second thought. Emplus, I could always use somebody to talk too. And that's why I enjoy you. So I hope that this was a good example of just some good advice about loving on self, showing your value of self, being real with self,

being true with self. Remember time aways for no one, So you better get out there and live your life. You know, this is the one day with the Vitamin D podcast. You know, we come every week, We'll have a new episode and we have some sprinkling, some doses throughout the way. Let me speak to some of my life. I told you one is going to be a one season. I'm expecting expansion. I'm speaking this right now. Vitamin D

is going to be a global movement. Um, Vitamin D is will be how the world would know my name, mark it down. We're taking this place is And yes, I can say this right now as I sit in my dining room in my place in Los Angeles, California, with this podcast to tell you what's about to happen.

And I'm walking in gratitude and I'm thinking it. And let me just say that I came across this post on I G Live and this young lady was talking about being optimistic and owing up and in um excitement, and she said, not going from a place of needing something or wanting, because that shows that you are lacking, but more so walking in the stance of just saying thank you, because gratitude about it already is. And when you walk in an expectancy, you don't walk because you

don't have it. You walk because you've acquired it. And expectancy you mean is you don't have it necessarily yet, but you're expecting to expect great things over your life. That's how you get it. You gotta if you can attract everything right, if you're expecting to live your best life, if you're expecting to have the dream job, the beautiful home, the family, the spouse, the career expected, so you can attract it. If they say like attracts, like why isn't

your mind liking the things that you desire? Why aren't you thinking about that? Why aren't you imagining what it feels like that even from the inside out. Implore you to do that on this journey of living your best life and realizing, like I said, on this journey, it's about the experience because guess what, there's rain in every rainball. Okay, and just guess what, Sometimes you need that rain to give you life. Remember that, but don't wallow so much

that you drown and it takes it away. That's the word for the day. All right, y'all know I can keep going, but I gotta go. So make sure you tell somebody to tell somebody else. To tell somebody else about vitamin D. Tell them it's a mosti vitamin not just for your mind, but for your body and soul. Tell them that this podcast is designed to get you excited about your life. Tell them about this podcast because you're listening, you feel a little bit better about yourself.

Tell them about this podcast because you know what all it is like going around. Somebody can deserve to get a little bit more. Okay, Well that's it. I'm Dawn Day. If if you could use some Vitamin D even after this podcast, I want to implore that you follow me on social media at Dawn Day Speaks. I want to hear from you. Um. Also, if you would like to get some advice on a one on one I want you to hit me up. Show me an email in Vitamin D at dawn day speaks dot com. I'm offering

ten thirty minutes sessions for free. The only requirement is that you have to write a review. Okay, so yes, you and I can talk one on one. Send the email to Vitamin D at dawn day speaks dot com. I can't wait to hear from you guys. Um that's it for this uh dose and until next time, Always remember you are your greatest asset.