Advice Letter (Her Husband's Old Flame Is Back)

So I'm here to shed light into your life. And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, because if you want to be better and you want to do better, then you're going to have to be able to see better. So join me on this journey of living our best lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest dass at, I said, this is another great day to

be alive, ain't it though? Another day to wake up to see what's going to see what's happened, another day to see yourself, see what you're liking, what you don't like, and what you need to do better at it. That's what I realized. And I'm coming with a lot of gratitus as I reflect on the week. You know, I

talked about a couple of things. I talked about how I'm in a situation right now while I'm looking at food since the my funk of the dreams here, I am getting mail where I got Chase Sapphire and I

got some from DPSS Department of Social Security. Isn't that crazy because it's not like, you know, I don't know how to keep my credit of It's just coming to the fact when you're going after your dreams, and it all boils down to making sure that I am on it, pursuing opportunities, making sure to stay a point on point with podcasts, with voice overs, with everything, so I can be ready because something gorgeous about to happen. I feel

it and I'm claiming it. I want it, and I guess um, we all got to make sure that we are intentionally like thinking that and putting that energy out there. Like you've heard people all the time talking about, especially in l A, in l A in general, everybody always talking about the vibe. I gotta feel the vibe, which it's not necessarily all putting because when you think about a vibe, it's like a vibration of the energy and we're like a bundle source of energy, right, So just

making sure I keep that vibrant. And you know, I was editing on Premiere and I was going through m a podcast episode I did. It was a check in and it was entitled do you Really Want It? And I was talking about how going after your dreams, going after your ambitions of whatever it is that you say that you want out of life, really asking yourself like do you want it? And I have to really think about it because I came in the studio today and

I was selling. Everybody was selling Jeremiah and Dr Laura. I was like, y'all, I got an addiction and they were like addiction. I said, no, I have an addiction

like to food. Like this is serious and I'm not making lightly situation like I'm like I'm dead ass, like something is really up and for someone like myself that can you know, be gut home my dreams and gut home working out to see an area where I have to grasp it and I gotta hold onto it and really understanding the relationship and I'm not gonna just sweep this under the rug and not like it's nothing like no, it's serious, like yo, I need to really get down

to the root of that. And I guess what else made me really think about it. I was up there watching on Apple TV. There's this new show. I think it's yeah, I think it's a new show. It's called Physical oh Child. So what really made me check it out is because it was like a glimpse of this lady. It's taking place in the eighties, eighties six to be exact. Hey, um, this lady she working out with her role was like getting and it was like the start of an empire.

And you know me, I'm building my empire. So I make sure that anything anyone is saying, I need to pick it up. But in the flick or in the trailer, this lady like she's just talking about like I guess food is constantly talking to her in her head and how her trying to get control of her life and and and battling this addiction and channeling it into working out. I wouldn't say, like, I'm not I don't have any

voices that's saying like, oh, you're stupid, you're fat, you're ugly. Da. No, I's just like I want the fool and it's like done, chill chill. Um, so I'm gonna have somebody coming to show, and I also have a lot of things I want to share when it comes down to food and how, not only how it's affecting me probably wait twise, but there's some other areas we won't get deep and personal.

You know how I told you you're about to learn some stuff about me, and UM, I guess this time being I may learn some stuff about two or with you right, get your right, MND right with me and get excited about all Right, it's time to dive into this vitamin Z email bag. I want to thank you

this individual for writing in. Thank you for your courage, thank you for deciding to um seek out some support because I think oftentimes we go do things in life and for whatever reason, I feel ashamed, embarrassed not want to ask another opinion. So I'm glad you did that, and I also feel honored that you feel as all my opinion matters. Here we go subject husband's old flame is back. Dear Dawn. I am beyond exhausted by my current situation and I would appreciate someone that hears me out.

I have no one to talk to about this because everyone I know makes bad decisions. My husband and I were friends in high school and we didn't start dating until after we graduated. During high school, he had this female best friend, Margot, and they had a weird romance kind of thing. Everyone thought they were going to get married and end up together. Every time they were both dating other people, their partners would hate how close the

two of them were. Eventually they tried to be together, but Margot ended up moving to Italy for school and she didn't want to do long distance. They always stayed connected, talking over Skype in this we love each other, but we can't be together kind of way. As time went on, Charles thought he should move on from Margot because she never wanted to do the long distant thing and she always dated other guys in Italy. So after a while Charles and I started dating. We fell in love, and

about a year ago we got married. A few months later, I find out that Margot moved back to the States and texts Charles every now and again, but Charles reassures me that he's moved on. I also found out that she visits his mom often and she even calls her mom. Uh. That hurt because I never felt like I was welcomed in his family, and it just feels like charles family

still thinks he and Margot should be together. I tried to tell myself that will be okay, but the other day something happened where they thought Margot was dating someone who was a bad apple, so the entire family freaked out and called her panicking, including Charles. When she called Charles back to see what was going on, they talked for a while, then after Charles told me she's back with her ex, my ex competition, and it just saw

felt wrong. She still calls Charles her best friends, even though they haven't been that close ever since she moved. I'm almost positive that she isn't over him, and I'm scared Charles is just ignoring his feelings for her. I've tried to be friends with her, but she didn't want to because in the past, when she tried to be friends with his past lover, she said that she ends up the bad guy, whatever that means. I'm so tired

of feeling like a passive pile of crap. He doesn't push for her to be friends with me, and they have this weird dynamics still, and it feels like his family is on her side, and it's waiting for me and him not to work out. I've spent many days in anguish over her for one reason or another, and I felt like if she was over him, she would have no problem becoming friends with me and speaking to me.

I thought she would eventually go away, but it feels like their relationship trump's our current one, and he will never let her go. I know he has a hard time letting people go, but come on. I don't want to give an ultimatum, but I feel like I have to. If she can't be my friend, it just means that she's not over him. Any help is appreciated, girl one of the lovers triangle. Let's go in on one here. I gotta sip some water shoe. First of all, thank

you for a fully expressing yourself. I reflect the sentiments in your first sentence. I am beyond exhausted. First of all, reading this letter, I felt like I was pulled in so many directions, because it's like one of those things where girl, you can see clear as day what is going on. Two, you don't feel comfortable in the relationship. Three The way that you've expressed yourself and how you feel makes me question, do you even realize who you

are in the relationship? You said he was you were his wife, but the way you acted, so I decided to sell. We can dive in. Let's be cap a little bit. And you said that you're beyond exhausted. I don't know any relationship that should tire you out. If anything, relationship I feel should definitely be something that rejuvenates you. You know, it's your safe haven, it's your ump. Every

relationship takes work, that's fine. Um, And even in you're beyond exhaustion, you said you're coming to the point because you need someone to hear you out. One of the key things that I've always saying any type of relationship, there needs to be some sort of communication, And if you aren't being heard, that means you aren't being received, And if you are being received words of communication, there's a breakdown and communication. Then you said another thing that

stood out in mind. This is all in the same paragraph. You said, everyone I know makes bad decisions. Well, you know I say this all the time. Birds of a feather flock together, So what does that say about you? And it's not bad. It just comes to a point that it's time for us to see ourselves, because once we can see better, we can do better. Okay, and

discern what kind of decisions needs to be made. Now, you wrote in this letter because you have a situation or a situation going on with this Um, I can't even say ex best friend, this female best friend, this real good friend of your husband. Her name is Margo. Now. The thing that's alarming is because I said, they did not do anything for them to be feuding. Um, it was just the fact that she was long distance. So you said after a while, well after she had left

you and Charles, that's when y'all got together. Okay, y'all fell in love. And now it's been a year and a half that you've guys get married and now you didn't got wind at home. Girl that had moved to Italy, now she's back. Now. One thing that I thought was interesting. They didn't work out, but then y'all got together. The way you had phrased this, um whole, how they're situation was that we love each other but can't be with

each other kind of way. And then because she was dating these guys in Italy, and then after a while, you guys fell in love. It almost made it seem like you're an afterthought. Now I can't tell um as of yet, but we're going through this letter together. I can't tell of yet if there is some sort of insecurity that's lying here, or indeed it is what it is. You know, it can go both ways at this point. Now you said after a while. It almost makes me wonder how long after a while did you guys start

to pursue. I don't have any idea of how old you guys are, how many years between leaving high school and the school and probably college, um where that places you guys, But it sounds like it's kind of still fresh. Okay, So uh, you guys got married about a year ago. Okay, Now here's the thing. Now that she's back in town. The thing that I'm like, I'm always like looking for the flags. You gotta make sure that you're king. You know.

I just said that not long ago about using your discernment and making sure you see the signs when you see the signs. Now, you said, off the bag, you don't have a relationship like that with her. But before you reveal that to me, one of the things that stood out is that she's visiting your mother in law and calling your mother in law, mom, what a mother that you are working on building your relationship a mother? And would you are married to her son? The hold up?

Wait a minute, oh, work at work? It then there was when that she was dating somebody bad. The whole family is gonna call because of who she dated, even your husband, the husband. Let me say, I said, your husband, not her husband. I said your husband not her boyfriend. I said, your husband calling a panic about who was this guy? She's dead? And then come to find out the guy that she's dating is her ex and which

your husband says, oh, my ex competition. Yeah, I just gotta I stood by saying all that, because the first thing I want to say is say, what, what in the opportitive word ex competition is going on here? Do we have to even look at the fact of the choice of words that your husband used? Can we even look at the fact, Charles, Charles, why are you suprised? What did you think what's gonna happen? Charles? Was Marco's

life and danger? Huh? But I guess I really need to be talking to you, you the one that wrote the letter, because clearly Charles been doing what he's been doing clearly. I can't even say I'm really surprised all what I have read up to this point based on what you had told me and the things that you allowed yourself to stand for and stand with, because you're

not standing against anything. Notice I said for and with how you stand with the fact of how your your husband as this relationship with this woman, and you stand for the fact that this woman has a relationship with your mother in law that you don't even have. But I'm not done yet. Now here's the thing. I think we all have this thing called intuition about what we feel like it's going on in our cut. You said right here, you said, I'm almost positive she isn't over him,

and you think that he is over her. Huh. And the reason you said that is because you said, I've tried to be friends with her, but she didn't want to because in the past she's trying to be friends with his past lovers. She said that she ends up the bad guy. Whatever that means, what you mean, what you mean holds on. I'm not saying that whomever you're with in the relationship that you got to have a

leash on. But there shouldn't be a thing there shouldn't be a reason why I don't have a relationship with you, and that's my husband. Um, I just imagine that your partner is your other half. They're an extension of you. We're a package deal that becomes to us. The fact that I don't have this relationship, and then the fact of how she used her choice of words that she has an issue with his past lovers. You aren't just a lover, you're his wife. You said, I'm so tired

of feeling like a passive pile of prep. I have a question, are you really? Because when you're really sick and tired of being sick and tired with something, you do something about it. Listen, I'm not judging you, because, listen, we all got a thing. I was just talking about earlier minddition of food. I've been talking about this challenge of what I've been doing and trying to figure out my balance with it. So I'm not sitting here trying

to say that everybody's stuff don't stink. We all got our stuff, but I'm here to call you out on it. So when you say that I'm so tired, are you sure that you're tired? It's just like when I ask somebody, how bad do you want it? Do you really wanted? Are you truly tired? Because if you're still meddling in the same water and you aren't choosing to kick your feet, if you aren't choosing to move your arms, I'm not

sure you're tired, honestly. Then another thing you said, I've spent many days and anguish over her for one reason or another. What I don't know about you, but I'm telling you um one the death of my mother. Two just living on this earth, a little something some three singing what we saw in and this whole COVID nineteen, this whole pandemic. I ain't got time to entertain anybody that's not charging my piece. You know, I was looking at this clip in fact, earlier today. Was it last

night or was it today? And and Will Smith, he was talking about success, and he said, how a lot of people, you know, you talk about this dream and you you're going after something when you want to be successful. He was like, but the true success isn't in the process of acquiring things. Success is that peace. And even when you're talking about relationship, and you talk about having a successful relationship, if you are spending all of these days in anguish over her for one reason or another.

Where is your peace? And when do you choose your peace? I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just calling the facts out and just saying what it is for what it is. It comes to a point that you have to choose yourself, whether it be somebody like Naomi Osaka, whether it be someone bows, whoever it is, you have to choose your piece that works for you so that

you can show up as your best self. And as of right now, I don't see because every single moment, it's one minute when she was over across the water

in Italy, Now she back in the hometown. Now she up here meddling with your mother in law, who you're working to have a relationship with, and you came over the relationship with, and here you are sleeping in the bed every day with this man who calls her current boyfriend his ex competition, that doesn't even fight for the fact for you to to be in a some type

of having communication or relationship with one another. What it's so interesting that he can understand the whole competition and opposing factor when it comes to her and her relationship, but can't even understand why it's important for you guys to interact with one another, so you guys know that you are in competition because he claimed that you ain't

got nothing to worry about. But I don't know since now it comes to a point of when you're gonna cut your lights on and when you decide to see what it is in front of you, and no one else can judge you and tell you how, because no one else can talk about how you live in your relationship ship, what y'all doing, how y'all doing, and what kind of understanding that you guys have, because the thing is is that you said off the bat, you said you don't have a situation where you can be heard

because you need somebody to hear you out. So I'm almost wondering have you taken the time to have a conversation with your husband about this to really get in there, because you just said right here that you would appreciate that someone can hear you out. So has he heard you? Because maybe that explains why you got this letter, Because have you had a chance to get it out yet, because honestly, all you had to say was excellent town.

My husband is pressed to had this relationship. He doesn't care the fact that we don't have the relationship, and his mama is and she calls his mama mom. Period. We will need to get down to the bottom of it. All this other stuff that was you letting that go off your chest, and you know you said something else. You said, um, you feel like their relationship trump's your current one, and he would not have never let her go. And then you go on to say, I know he

has a hard time letting people go. What come on, sis, how how how are you supposed to be? He's about a half and you feel like he's putting someone before you. They said, when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, not a second thing, a good thing. You're gonna have to teach people how to treat you. But I think, um, I think we're gonna have to rewind this a little bit, and you're gonna have to work on your communication because I'm not sure that you're

communicating effectively in this relationship. Because if you can sit quiet on this, what happens. Let's just say, for example, say if you're just like, hey, I don't want to deal with this and I'm leaving away from this relationship, What happens for the next relationship that you're going to, What happens if you guys were to have children, and what are you teaching them about communication? There's a breakdown here, and I think it came out perhaps in the first paragraph.

Hear me out and understand that when we talk about people hearing people out, when we talk about wanting to express ourselves, not only do you have someone, have to have someone to be able to receive what you're saying, but then you also have to be the one to have something to say. And right now I'm not sure you're doing your part and saying what it is that you need to say. There comes to a point, Well, you don't have to put your foot down as the

woman of your house. Okay, maybe you're gonna have to lay some laws down about how things are going to operate. How you do anything is how you'll do everything, and that includes what you allow yourself to put up with. Now you're talking about this is your happily ever after. And I say that because if you decided to marry somebody, you're looking at being with them for the rest of your life. Is this is how you're gonna choose to

live your life. What did you say? You said that you find yourself and angry is one way or another dealing or thinking about this woman. The family is panicking because she in a relationship. Your husband is panicking. I'm not sure if she's in a right relationship. Forget about the fact that the relationship that y'all land says it's time to wake up. But take your time with it.

I think you're gonna have to get to the pack where you're gonna have to be able to give me a cape and say what it is that you're not standing for and also what makes you feel uncomfortable about it, because no one should feel like this, not with somebody but you. You just said, y'all being married for what a year and a half? No, you said a year ago.

Come on, you're still newlyweds. What is the ah? I hope you'll get this together and um, use this a minute to to communicate and express yourself and let it be own how you feel and and don't just let things go by the wayside and be okay with this? Okay, stand up for yourself. Gots dog on it? Wait, why

did I gotta talk on it? Because That's how I felt well And and I want to just say I appreciate you righting in and opening your stuff about and I guess if you heard what I had to say, and you've got something on your mind dealing with the relationship, your career, your dreams, perhaps any insecurities or just wants to get an ear or extra mind or word onto something, I want you to email me Vitamin D at the

dawn day Speace dot com. Okay, we go through the email bags and every once so off and we try to get through one like once a month. We try to dive in there um and and just raise some letters and just give you whatever you want to know. And so who knows. I want to encourage you to do it, you know, because it takes a lot of balls to just open up and just tell your business and just be like, hey, I'm easy and free. But the best wounds here when you air him out right

there it out. I want to hear from you, you know. I air at my stuff all the time, and I'm step by step, day by day on this podcast. But we're doing it. Okay, Um, what else news we got? Oh, don't forget to head over to uh the YouTube channel. Uh, you know, we've got some great content over there at Dawn Day Speaks. Also, I meant to Annolysis earlier in the podcast. I want to give a huge congratulations to

my lovely assistant Jeremiah on his new job. Yes, yes, so jere By just got hired over it, I heard media. I'm so proud of him. I'm excited for what's to come and what he's doing. And you know, we met when he was an intern early early days when Vitaminsy first arrives in l A probably with four used to run my board. So you know, here we are several years later and here he is, look at you. I see you. Um, so I had to shout him out. Also, what's going on with me? Just continue to support me

on my dreams and we keep taking a chance. I appreciate that. Um that's all I got right now, I think. Uh, if you want to follow me on all social media, I want to encourage you at Dawn Day Space if you need some vitamin D in the meantime between time. But other than that, just if you've enjoyed the podcast, make sure you tell a friend to tell their friends, to tell all their friends about us. Okay. I plan to be here for a very long time okay, and

I can use your support Okay. Yeah, you know, I always say I'm in the business of making dreams come true, and I damn sure ain't gonna forget about mind. So until next time, always remember you are your greatest assa