Conversation was going so well, we had to do it again and keep it rolling. Episode two, here we go. Charlie, let's roll, baby. You find it sometimes hard, or at least when you were initially doing that with the kids especially, like setting that for yourself anyways, because you put out a lot of stuff, a lot of content. Well, it was really hard, and I'll tell you this, and this was like a turning point for me and my kids too,
a huge turning point. It was Mother's Day. And in our family, in our household, holidays have never been a huge deal. Like at birthdays, like we don't make it a huge deal. And so Mother's Day was never really even a huge deal in our house. And it was, I think during COVID, it might've been like that first Mother's Day after COVID or whatever. All I know is that my kids, I didn't get like a happy Mother's Day until like later in the day. My daughter did send me the most
beautiful text. And then they showed up at like three o 'clock in the afternoon. You know, like they did show up with an orchard, but I was already kind of pissed because I'm already scrolling through my social media and seeing all the moms with the breakfast in bed and the flowers and the cards and all this, you know, the brunches. And I'm sitting here at home by myself, like waiting for my kids to show up, you know, making my own breakfast, you know, all that stuff. How
dare you make a single breakfast. And it happens every year and every year I'm always pissed off. Right. So I remember my son walks in. And he goes, is it going to be another one of those Mother's Day mom where you're going to be like mad because we didn't like do all this stuff for you? And I looked at him and I'm like, you know what, bud? No, I'm done with it. He goes, yeah, because I don't understand why you have to compare us. He goes, we're here, right? We
love you. Like, who cares about what other people think? Like, why does it matter? Like, he always said that. He goes, I don't understand why you have to post about me. Why does it matter what other people think? And and so in that moment, and I turn to him, I go, dude, you're right. Like. It's my own insecurity. For whatever reason, I feel like I'm not a good mom because you guys aren't doing like cool things for me. Like for some reason, I feel like it's my fault, you know?
And then I start feeling like crap about it. And I was like, no, Amelia wrote me the most beautiful text. I'm like, you still show up with an orchid and my favorite chocolate cake. You guys are here. We're talking, we're having conversation. Like it's the three of us together. I was like, that's what matters. That's what's important.
yeah like hello and that was in that and after that I was like god I'm such an asshole no because you I mean you are just you are in the same boat as millions upon millions of people and we can go down this rabbit hole of why exactly that story you just explained is what is the downside of social media yeah it's the constant comparison that's what causes people depression that's why they're saying you know rates of depression in young kids who have you know four or more hours
of screen time a day is just skyrocketing because they are doing exactly that it goes back to the filters and everything else it's just constant comparison and they don't know how to separate that from reality yeah and it's hard because as adults once again we don't know how to do it either sometimes and if we're trying to set an example it's really hard right sometimes it does take our kids telling us like uh but yeah we're here Yeah. I mean, I, and, and, but they,
but yeah, but they were right. And it's okay to also tell your kids when they're right. Cause that's another thing too. I think it doesn't diminish your power as a parent or your whatever. Not, not at all. Like if anything, I think more and more I'm realizing how, like that it's okay to do that. And if anything, my kids are respecting me even more because I'm willing to say when I'm wrong or I'm willing to admit when I, you know, effed up or kind of, I suck. Yeah, we do
that now. Like, even though our daughter's just about to be 11, there's the moments where, as a parent, you're like, hey, my bad. I was wrong. You were right. And just, you know, that, I'm sure you see it. You can visibly see, like, her reaction. Yeah. And just knowing that we can be wrong. And we're admitting it. Like, how huge that is. Even for her. I'm sure if she gets older, there's going to be some times where we're not going to want to admit the fault. But it's going
to have to happen. Because we like to have that relationship, too. The open relationship. conversations um and then not having to your point not having to post everything all the time like and let her know that that's okay too like you don't have to post every single meal that you had Stop doing that. That was another conscious effort of mine too during COVID. I was like, okay, if I'm talking about mindful social media, I'm like, what I'm putting out there, is it making someone
else feel badly about themselves? If it's making them feel like, you know, they don't have something that I do. And so I stopped posting alcohol in restaurants. Like I did stop doing that because I found that I'm like, what am I doing? All it's doing is making someone else that might not have the opportunity to like go to a restaurant or eat like a meal like this. It's going to make them feel like shit. I was like, I don't want to be that person. So I do try to minimize a
lot of that. So even like if I met a really nice establishment, nice hotel or nice party or something, I don't know. Sometimes I don't even post it either because I don't want anyone feeling like they're missing out on something. And so, yeah, that's why, too, with like my trips and stuff like that, sometimes I just don't I just don't want to feel like I'm also kind of like flaunting a certain lifestyle. Not that I have this like incredible lifestyle, but it's. it's still way
better than a lot of people's. And so, and I know when I see other people's fancy lifestyles, a lot of times I'm like, really? Like there's this one person I follow. And she like, literally everything is perfection. The Chanel bag, the perfect restaurant, the perfect food, the perfect everything, the perfect outfit, like everything is perfection. And it's like, I know I was thinking,
oh my God, I must be exhausting. Do you get to even enjoy the moment or are you too busy planning on how perfect all your pictures versus just enjoying the experience? Yeah. And that's another thing too, is that with the travel, because I'm not posting on purpose, guess what? My phone's
pretty much put away. Yeah, you're living. it you're in the moment and I walk away and sometimes I'm like oh I wish I could have shared this moment or something I'm gonna go but why like I do have to question myself like why do I feel like I I should I had to like why is it giving me anxiety because I can't post this moment and then I have to like think about that I was like what to be validated because I got no it's like because yeah you realize psychologically like what it
does to you sometimes. So it's a reminder of like Raquel, it's about being present. It's about being in the moment. It's about the experience, like nothing else. I don't need that dopamine hit from the hundreds of likes I can get. But like, that's what happens is we realize that like, oh man, this picture or this place, oh my gosh, it'll get people, everybody talking.
So when to that point, like. When you're telling an LO to go out there and put some content, are you just saying like, Hey, post it, forget it and just move on with your day. Like, how do you, how do you coach them up on that? Well, I don't tell them to forget it because you definitely forget. You know what I mean? Like you got to interact with comments. Stop refreshing. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a dopamine hit. Like you're at a slot machine hitting refresh. I do that sometimes.
I'm telling you, like I'm guilty of a lot of this stuff too. Um, what, no, with LOs, a lot of it, uh, like a lot of them have their outside hobbies. Like they're like, I have one LO that loves to mountain bike. I'm always like, put it, like put the video, like a time -lapse or something like on your bike or do like in a cool angle. And just do something that you could just put some music to it. And there you go. It's
something that like, at least it's content. It's something and people will like, oh my gosh, she's a mountain biker. And then you'll gain people that have the same kind of interest. Maybe they'll carry, you know, start a conversation and then it could lead to something. But yeah, I just, yeah, I really try to get them not to overthink it. But unfortunately we all overthink it. It doesn't matter. Like I, like me, I overthink
it too. And so I do try to have like some compassion and empathy for what their, what their struggles
are. Cause I do under. that for me it is easier to get in front of the camera and in front of and do video like I enjoy it I love it and so I have to remind myself like Raquel remember like not everybody enjoys to be in front of the camera and be you know a total goofball and do these like crazy Instagram reels not everybody is destined to be the queen of goofiness I know right yeah but but I mean but look at like for instance Instagram just started threads right
so threads just started yesterday well guess what even though it already has like, you know, 15 million users on there as of yesterday. But if you're, if you're really good at writing, like there are people like I was never on Twitter, but you know, you, when you would see tweets, cause they would repost it on like different, some of these people, I'm like, Oh my God, they are so clever. So witty. Like sometimes I'm just like, I wish I could come up with this stuff.
Cause this is so good. So it's the same thing for LOs. Like if you have an act for that, or you're really good at education, like educating people. then do it through that platform. Do it through that format where it's more of a written word as opposed to the videos. Same thing with LinkedIn. Like you could do articles. So there are different ways or like I said before, the
engagement piece of it. It doesn't have, I get the videos where it's at, but it doesn't have to be video if that's not where you feel comfortable. So we've touched on overposting in an indirect way quite a bit over the last 20 minutes. My biggest example is we all know them. We all love them. but sometimes it's a little too much. Realtors, I feel like are the most notorious for posting on a lot of people's threads. And a lot of it is exactly what you said. It's personal life
stuff on top of their business stuff. And it's always them driving their fancy car and this is their listing. And now all of a sudden they're on the beach, but then they show themselves still working on their laptop on the beach because work never stops. So how do you coach? the overposting whenever you're working with your LOs with people who have reached out to you for help. I honestly never had an issue with anyone overposting. Oh, nice. Awesome. That's good. I have the opposite
problem. I'm like freaking post something. So yeah, that's not a problem. So I feel like we did cover it then on like what the fine line is, you know, you want to show some of your personal
life, your personal hobbies. on top of what you're doing for work but don't overdo it and cross that and show every meal every vacation every little thing like that's kind of where you're blind yeah i feel like if you were to recommend like well because not only that like i see it as if they're posting everything that they're really they're not appreciating the moment they're not like you know what i mean like i also like have enough kind of insight and I'm very intuitive
and like all that self -awareness. So like, I think about it in that way of like, if this person's constantly like, what is it about their life that they, like, they feel like they have to do that all the time. Right. So it's like, so then it's a reminder for me too, like, Hey, I don't want to be that person. I want to be someone
that is actually experiencing the moment. And, um, You know, I get the food if you're, you know, a food blogger or if you're a foodie or that's your interest is cooking, doing the food and all of that. But like at some, at some time, some seriously people can see your half French fry on your plate. If it's stories, whatever. I mean, that's the thing too, is like with stories, cause it is behind the scenes and people do stories or even. kind of like more relevant than they
are than the actual post on Instagram. People are posting a lot of just crap on there because it's gone in 24 hours. So I don't want to be too like critical about like what you're posting on your Instagram stories. But, you know, at the end of the day, like you do what you feel comfortable with. Like don't do it because you think you should be doing it. Like if you're someone that's posting all the time because you feel like you have to, then there's a problem,
right? Like there are times where I don't post at all. Like if I have nothing to say. And I'm a host and I have nothing to say. And there are moments. I do have my moments. Are you sure? Seriously, I'm like, I haven't. No, I've had my funks, you know, where I'm kind of like, ugh. I did a video about this last week because I was out of town and I purposely had my phone away. And then to get back on, it was like a struggle because I had enjoyed being off of the
phone for several days. And I was like talking about how. It's a real struggle, like wanting to get away from your phone, social media, especially when it's in my career and I'm on it pretty much 24 seven, getting off of it. But then coming back on, it's like overwhelming. And then you feel like you missed out and you're playing catch up. And then that feeling sucks. But, you know, so it's like that balance. But I had a ton of engagement on it because everybody could relate.
everybody can relate to that absolutely right so like so that's the thing is like even though I really didn't have anything to say and have much content I still it was able to turn it into content right because I think that's just what I do a lot of too it was like really just being very like in the moment of like hey this is kind of what I'm going through in this moment like I did the same thing I was at a gas station a couple months ago I was in a real funk I there
was a lot going on in my life um a lot of heaviness I had took everything me to get out of bed and go to work I rolled out of bed didn't shower put on a baseball cap had sweats luckily I can walk into work like that I'm at the gas station I pulled out the phone and I was like hey I'm kind of having one of those moments like I'm okay like I was like nobody worry about me like I'm good I'm just in a place right now where I'm feeling a lot of stuff and I'm trying to
feel you know and I was just like basically it was like my therapy session like that's what happens too is like when I just talk about it and then I share it to the world like that I'm good. And it's incredible how much engagement I got on that one as well. It's usually when I'm like super just in the moment. That's when people really like connect with me because I am being vulnerable. It's real. Yeah. That's the biggest piece. You're, you're being real
and people recognize it. Yeah, every now and again, I'll be like, okay, I'm going to have a moment. And I think what happens is because I have them rarely, when I do have them, people like pay attention. Yeah, if it's once a week, people are gonna be like, what's going on? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's every couple months or maybe not even. But so what I do, it's really
sweet to how many people reached out to me. and they're like hey i know you're okay but like if you need anything like yours you give so much to us like this was a a pretty common message that i got after that video at the gas station you give so much to us and so you always make us laugh and smile and you give and you give it's really important that you are able to receive as well and if you need anything i'm here for you Or like, you know, appreciate you and everything
you do. And I understand you have your moments, but you got this. Like it was incredible. Like it really, that's when you realize that like you've created a really awesome community. And that's something that I'm very proud of with my LinkedIn. Very, very proud of the people in my network. And yeah, in my sphere, like it's - I feel like LinkedIn, it's a little more, almost feels more real. Actually, that's exactly how it feels to me anyways. Like versus like a Facebook,
like someone reaching out on Facebook. Like, listen, I haven't talked to you in 20 years. Like, I know you don't give a crap. No, I don't want life insurance. Yeah, I don't want life insurance. Let me tell you, there's a lot of life insurance people on LinkedIn hitting me up. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's like too, I don't, I purposely don't have my, the notification turned on. So like when it's my birthday, I have had
it off for years on LinkedIn. Cause I'm like the people that truly know me are going to reach out and wish me a happy birthday. Cause I don't have Facebook. So nobody's getting notified. So I purposely do that. Because it's the people that remember. I don't need, like, the blanket happy birthday crap. Sorry. The canned message that LinkedIn provides. Yeah, I don't need that. No. But that's another thing for me, like, that's really important is just to kind of, like, hey,
I don't need all of this. I just want to have a happy birthday just because, you know? Your LinkedIn community is about to take a slight hit though, as I'm about to click the follow button. It's going to go down a tiny notch. So let me ask you this. You put a lot of stuff out there and you're kind of inspiring a lot of people, but like, who do you follow for like inspiration or. Do you like other specific people you do
or pages? That is a good question. So I do have like my social media people that I follow that I love that I feel like are really genuine. And every time I reach out, they always respond and they're really good about supporting me too. And that's like Chelsea Pites. A lot of people follow her because she's in the industry and she does a lot of stuff for real estate. She's big on Instagram. Shannon McKinstry, she's on Instagram too. She's another one that I love
like what she does. So there are certain like social media influencers that I follow, but I love it because they do it in a way that I feel like is just very genuine. But as far as like, I will tell you this, the accounts that I love to follow that really just make me feel good. And that's another thing too, is I tell people that you have. you can control what you follow and what's in your feed, right? Like I like to
have feel good stuff. So I follow all like Upworthy, Good Movement, all the MD Motivator, Johnny Darts, all those guys that do those random acts of kindness. I mean, I'm like their day, there was one day I did a story cause I was bawling and I was like, everybody, you gotta follow these accounts. They just, the humanity and they just make you feel
so good. And I'm just like, brr. So, yeah, like I just that's the type of content that I like to consume is like that every day someone just helping somebody else and just showing like that there's good people in this world. Like that for me is is a motivation or I follow a lot of accounts that like there's one called recess therapy where it's a guy that talks to kids, like ask them the funniest questions. So, yeah,
like those are the type of. accounts that i like on my on my feed and they inspire me in some way and uh yeah like i like that you ever follow uh people in new york so my wife follows them and she keeps she always tells me about these stories she reads this guy's a great writer but it's the same thing it's about um people people helping people um or giving someone's life story someone that's now homeless in new york that used to be a go -go dancer and all the hard times
they went through people of new york telling all eight million stories okay yeah it's the guy's an incredible writer um but that was one that like she'll be reading a story just bawling her eyes out i'm like what's happening there's like three or five pages of text well no and that's the thing is like for me if i'm going to be on social media i want it to be i want to consume content that's going to make me feel good about the world and walk away being like,
okay, keep doing what you're doing, Raquel. You can make a difference. Cause yeah, it can be daunting and it can be overwhelming. And especially someone like myself, who's going to be 48 next month. And I'm in, I'm in a space where it's when women and men half my age that do what I do, you know, social media managers and creating content. Like a lot of the stuff that I see of theirs, I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so good. And look at how the edits and the cuts and the, the
quality. And then I'm doing it. And but then I have to remind myself that I'm also older and I have more experience and I have I've lived like, you know, there's things that like I have to remind myself of that. I the value that I provide is different because I can get caught up in that competition game, too, and comparing myself as well. And yeah, that's just not. I
think we said this last episode with where. I don't think we've hit a due date on a single rapid rush request because we always say these are quick questions, quick answers, and they never end up being quick questions. No, it's always extended. But it's still fun to call it rapid rush requests. So first one, we ask everybody this question. Are you a, does your text message show up green or does it show up blue? Android or iPhone? iPhone, baby. Yeah. I have a confession
for Charlie. Charlie has an Android. I do know that. Oh, yeah. Everybody knows. I had a dream
that I had. your flip android phone i had a dream that i was using it and it was my phone come on over to the dark side bud never gonna happen it was is it flip yeah he has that one that the fancy flip like it i almost i thought like old school flip phone no he's got a razor he's got i want the razor because it's probably more durable this thing but no this is fun how many of those have you broken oh god I'm on lucky number three. So this has got to be it. And you get them insured.
So like you just get it for free. I mean, it's a full, it's a folding screen. You know, you're getting insurance on that one. All right. So question number two, I told you, these are not wrapped. We've already missed three due dates. Asking for extensions here. Comps, you know, comps are a little complicated. I saw you drinking hot coffee there. Do you prefer the hot over the iced or you know, iced coffee? I actually
like hot. I drink hot usually in the summer because I drink it early enough in the morning where I just still like to, you know, with the hot coffee, but I'll do, I'll do iced if I'm in like later in the day, but I prefer hot. What's the, what's the best SoCal burrito? Oh God. You know what? I don't know because I just don't, I don't do the Mexican like shops here. Like, I mean, I just don't do them. I've never been to San Diego. I've heard like the taco stands and like.
Some of the best like street tacos. Yeah, in high school, we used to do cotijas in PB in Pacific Beach. They had a quesadilla suprema. I mean, it was a huge quesadilla with beef. I mean, it was like a burrito quesadilla with like the sour cream and the lettuce. I mean, it had everything on there. So we used to do that in high school. But as far as now, I don't hit any of those places up. I try to eat really healthy and I try to eat at home now that my mom cooks for me every
time now that I live with her. I do know that in La Jolla, there's a place called the Taco Stand, and there's always a huge line. And it's a little hole in the wall dive in downtown La Jolla. And there's always a line, but. I think I saw that the last time I was out there. Well, yeah, there's a burrito place that I went to in Encinitas with Joe Wilson, you know, with
social coach. We met up halfway and I forget what the place was, but they had good burritos and it was in, I think it was Encinitas or Carlsbad, one of those places. But yeah, I don't frequent, especially if I'm a Mexican mother, like what am I doing? I mean, you're right. She'd be very upset with you. Yeah, I just, it doesn't make sense. You can't bring it home because she's going to be yelling at you. And then she's going
to make the food. She'll be like, eat mine. Yeah, I get like real authentic, you know, Mexican food. So there's no reason for me to do that. So sorry. Sorry to disappoint you on that one, but I don't know. Do you miss the seasons now that you're out there? You know what? I do. Fall.
That's the only season. fall is fantastic yeah and a little bit in spring i will admit i was out there it uh beginning of may i flew back with my daughter when she completed school and everything was just so lush and green and the flat the only problem is i have really bad allergies and i forgot when i went back out there in may it was awful so bad this year so bad it was a bad year when i was there i think there was one day that i took like antihistamine i took um
flonase um i drank some wine i took some like And I was just like loading up because I forgot because I've been here for almost a year now. So, yeah, it was it really was beautiful. And the weather, oddly enough, was like San Diego weather when I was out there in May. It was during Mother's Day that. It was like 70, sunny, and then here it's been cold. So, yeah, it was perfect. But fall, I do miss. Football season. Oh, yeah. Those Hokies running out on the field to enter
Sandman. That crazy intro they do. Their intro is pretty solid. It is. It is. And it sucks, though, and this is something that I have to just respect, too, is that my son, in the four years that he's been there, I've never been down
there. for like any kind of visit I drove him down there I picked him up once and I dropped him off at one time and both times he's like out like he would hang out so like my ex has been down there for parents weekend for the dad's day for the frat house has gone to like I don't know if he's gone to any games but he at least gets to go down there me nothing so I feel like this weird like disconnect that I never got a chance to experience like you know, the Virginia
tech in any way. Cause my son's like, sorry, mom, like you cannot hang out down here. I remember, I think the last time my ex was down there was dad's day for the frat house. And I guess all the girls were hanging out, like all the sorority girls. And they're like, Oh, Mr. Boris, like, cause he's a good looking guy. And, you know, I guess he would be considered a dill. I'm sure they referred to him. Yeah. Yeah. And so they're like flirting. They're like, oh, Mr. Boris. And
they're like, Nick, what's your mom like? You know, and because my ex is like, well, you know, she I was married. He goes, well, we're not married, but she is very attractive or something to that respect. I was like, it was very sweet that like he like complimented me. Then my son goes, yeah, girls, you'd be already initiating her in your sorority if she were right here now. So that's why she's not here. I was going to say that's the reason why he's trying to keep the frat boys
from talking about you. that's why yeah for me and then he's like knows that I would be best friends with all the girls and he does he likes to keep that very much like you know like doesn't want his mom to know like who I mean there is one girl that I'm allowed to like know about and she'll like if he's with her she'll he'll send me like a selfie with her she connected with me on LinkedIn the other day that was like look who connected with me on LinkedIn but as
far as like that yeah I I'm They all follow me on social media too. So he just, he hates that. So yeah. You mentioned he was smart. He's trying to keep you away. Yeah. Oh, my daughter, the other day, she calls me. And once again, I'm super transparent. She calls me and I was like, oh, I'm going out. I met this guy. Like, and she goes, okay, is he age appropriate? And I go, yeah, he's older than me. She goes, okay. Okay. Cause she's like, cause she calls me a
cougar. She's like, okay, cougar. Like, here we go. I'm like, hey, don't get it twisted. I'm like, I still like them younger. And she's like, okay, mom. So many things. So many things we can open up there, but we're going to leave it. But yeah. I don't even know how I asked my last rapid rush request after that. We got off the rails. You can try and bring it back after that. We're talking about dills and cougars and all kinds of things. I like to go out with a bang,
okay? Absolutely. I think that's the way. You can't top this. This is the perfect way to end it. You're right. Now I really hope that no one listens to any of this. We got plenty of listeners in Europe. We're going to promote this one more than any other one we've promoted. For sure. You guys want the tea? Listen to this freaking podcast. We can edit on a high note with that. With the cougar conversation. All right. Well,
that's a wrap, my friend. All in all, I think Raquel was a fantastic guest for the ValuNation listeners. If you haven't already, make sure to go out and turn on the little bell icon for the notifications on when the new episodes are dropping. Find us on YouTube. Spotify, Apple, iTunes, or wherever else you get your podcast content. Don't forget about IG, TikTok, and Facebook.
Of course, you can always go over there and see some of the new things we're doing, whether on the road, what kind of hairstyle Schwartz has for the day, all the usuals.