How taking a step back and adjusting your priorities can be a huge step forward

I'm a trauma-informed breathwork facilitator , coach and the founder of Brilliant Breathwork , and I care a lot about you shining your magical unicorn light , aka your natural brilliance out into the world in ways that bring yourself and others joy .

In this episode , we are going to talk about how taking a step back and adjusting your priorities can actually be a huge step forward . Let's dive in . Hey there , unicorn , it is Jen . Welcome back to the podcast . On Tuesdays , we usually have an interview . Today , I just have a lot to share .

I have some interviews recorded , but I have a lot to share with you that I am taking a pause on interviews this week so that we can talk about some things .

I want to talk to you about the Word of the Year party and all of the fun that we had there , why I chose my Word of the Year , and I want to talk to you about all the wild things that have happened over the past few weeks for me and the lessons that I have learned .

We are starting with the lessons that I have learned because then I can tell you in Thursday's episode about the Word of the Year and how that is really playing in , because it can support you if you've chosen a Word of the Year or a theme or if you've got some intentions this year .

Hearing examples of others and how they navigate with those , I think could be really supportive . I would love to take these next two episodes to share with you all of the crazy shit that's going on in my life and how I'm adjusting with that , how I'm utilizing my word , my intention this year in order to support myself .

So , if that interests you , these two episodes this week that's what we're diving into . So today , what I want to talk to you about is taking a step back . Sometimes that is what we need to do , and I have traditionally been somebody who just plows forward . My mother will tell you I'm the most determined .

If you give me a , you know I would be a really good greyhound dog . I would have probably won every race . If I am determined , when there is something that I want , I go and I get it . I go and I do it , and that can be a really good thing , and a lot of us . If you're an achiever , if you're somebody who is that way .

You know it can be a really good thing . You know it can also do things like leading you into burnout or going too far down a rabbit hole , not ignoring all of your intuitive signals that something isn't right , that something doesn't feel aligned , that it's not serving you , it's not serving others .

We ignore all of the signals and that has been my habit through most of my life . I've brought conscious awareness to it over the past , you know five or so years , and have now learned how to notice and deal with it and help others do that as well . And that's been my journey and that's where I'm at . I'm at the journey right now .

But if you have that habit , that is part of who you are . I don't personally believe that ever 100% goes away , because that's part of your soul's mission on this earth is to work through that , work with that , show others how to do it for themselves .

That's why our mess so often is our message because you are honing something that you are really challenged with and we're honing the skill because you have to try it over and over , and over and over time you develop a talent for that thing .

That is so hard for you and that's why it's sometimes so hard for us to recognize the gifts that we have , because we have earned them . We have earned them so hard by it being something that we do struggle with , and then we don't recognize the light that we have that we can be leaning into and bringing that struggle gift forward with us .

So that is , for me , that is one of the things that I have honed over time . I'm very determined , but it's the awareness of when I could step back and give myself space , a word of the year , step back and give myself space to do what is most supportive for me .

What I will tend to do is look around and notice that I'm overwhelmed and that I'm stressed , and I will look around and say , okay , what am I doing wrong ? What is not serving people ? What am I doing wrong , instead of saying , oh , what could I do that could help me feel right ? That's a huge shift . So let me tell you the situation In my life .

If you've been following me on social media , if you're coaching with me , if you're in my brilliant breath workspace , you've heard about this . Alfred , alfred T Dog , came rollicking into our lives the day after Christmas and I'm so excited to tell you the story because it's weird . The way that Alfred came into our lives is 100% so freaking weird .

There is no other way to say it than that the universe dropped him into our lap . He found us on purpose . Joey and I had gone to Silver Falls we talked about that in another episode . We had gone to this beautiful waterfall area . I had just this idyllic Christmas in this beautiful cabin . It was so freaking beautiful , so beautiful .

And we're on our way home and I've got a breath work session in the afternoon . So we were on our way home in the morning , planning to get home , get everything settled , unpacked . We had taken like our entire house with us because we cooked this full Christmas dinner . It was wild how much stuff we took with us .

We brought our air fryer , which we didn't use . We brought so many snacks . It was like we have enough food to feed two families , but anyway , we loved it . It was so fun . We knew we were going to come home , get unpacked and then I was going to do my breath work session .

I'm driving , I'm driving us home and we're starting to come into the Portland area and I'm coming up on a stoplight and I happen to see out of the corner of my eye , this notification come up on my phone and it was a different looking notification . That's what caught my eye and I realized I picked up my phone .

I'm coming to a stop , picking up my phone and looking at it , I realized the horrors of that . But I pick up my phone and I look at it and I see it's a notification from next door . If you might have this , it's a community app that tells you what's going on in your neighborhood .

It's full of a ton of gossip and a lot of negativities , so I intentionally have notifications turned off for next door . I do not get notifications from next door on purpose , but I got this notification from next door and what it said was that there was a shooting in the area that we were in .

Which I thought to myself oh , maybe that's why this notification came through , because there was a shooting in the area . So I go to pull it up . We're at the stoplight and I go to pull it up and I can't find it's not linking to that post .

So but what did show up is this picture of a dog , this sweet little white face , little husky face , and I was like , oh , joey , I turned his phone to join us . Look at the dog . He's like why are you looking at your phone ? You're driving , so then we take off and I can't stop thinking about this dog . I'm driving down the highway .

I cannot stop thinking about this dog . At the next stoplight I noticed that Joey's distracted and looking at his like cleverly , like carefully , pull out my phone and pull up the next door thing and I'm looking to see if I can find that shooting notification . Then the dog pops up again .

While I'm thinking about him , the dog pops up again and again and again . I never found , by the way , that shooting notification never came up , but Alfred did . His name was Archie actually at the time , and what the post said is that he was rescued from a really bad situation .

He was practically starved , he was not cared for , he lived his entire life in a kennel and this family had rescued him from where he was at and they couldn't keep him . They're like we have him . We cannot keep him for more than a couple of days . We would love to . He's so sweet , but they said we need somebody to take him .

We were not looking for a dog . We just lost our dog , who was 16 and a half this summer . We had previously lost my sole dog , moose , a couple of years ago , and my thought was and actually here's the even weirder thing at all I was thinking about that we will probably maybe consider in the summer of this year getting a dog .

That was my thought as that next door review thing popped up as

that notification I was thinking about in the summer , after we go on this trip with my nephew , maybe then we'll get a dog . That's when that notification popped up Freaking , weird , right ? So weird because you don't want to get a dog in the winter in Oregon when it's raining all the time . You don't want to be that . You're having to train right .

And I had previously said and judge me for all you want to judge me about this , I just know myself . I had always said I love people who get rescue dogs so much , but I don't have the patience for that . I have to . Any bad behaviors that my dog has have to be my fault .

I can't undo the situation and I think the universe was like I think you're ready for it . Ready was my word of the year last year and on December 26th I was gifted another moment to be ready because , yes , I went the very next day and met Archie , who became Alfred .

And I mean it was just one of the things when I knew like I met him and I just knew . And then I put him in the back seat of the car and we're driving back to our house . We've given away so much of our dog . We had no intention of getting a dog kill .

I didn't even have like the thing for the back seat to carry a dog , so he's just on the seat in the back . He sticks his head out the window .

When I rolled it down and was so happy with his little head out the window , which is something I always wanted with a dog and it had made me so happy when Moose did that , that was one of the things that he started doing . And when we had him , when he got in a car , he loved feeling the wind in his fur .

It was the very first thing that Alfred did and I just knew . But here's the thing I wanted to tell you that story because it's so fun and definitely just . I knew that the universe was talking to me and that he had shown up and we knew it and I just knew that when I went that Joey met him . He just was .

Alfred was so happy and it was just the right time Even if it was not my timing that I had wanted . It was the right time .

He came into our life at the perfect time , but I had lots of plans for January , big plans for January , things that I was planning to get done , that I was planning to launch , that I was moving forward with and just so ready to dive head on into .

And then this dog shows up , who the very first time that I tried to do a breath work session with him in here with me . He had been so sweet all day , you guys , and so sweet . He's such a sweet dog . I start doing my breath work session and he starts husky howling .

If you've ever heard a husky speak , it sounds like something's dying , or like he is dying , or like lots of things are dying .

It's so loud and he's doing that and just curiously scratching at the door while I'm trying to host this breath work session , I'm like , oh no , this is not going to be as easy as I had hoped with this sweet dog , and I have since discovered , after calling a trainer and speaking with them , that that does indeed happen .

They're very sweet at first because they don't trust you and , as a rescue , dogs begins to trust you anybody who's had one probably knows this the bad behavior start to peel apart like an onion . He starts getting comfortable and he starts getting sassy . And he is extra saucy and sassy when he wants something and I won't give it to him . So we're learning .

We're learning , but this entire thing has made me step back . I had to reassess my priorities and I had to learn so many things about my process or about myself in this process , because Alfred is teaching me lots of things . I am learning to be a better dog parent in a whole new way .

I'm learning that I need to adjust things and that I need to set the environment to be a place where he can thrive . I can't just say no , because that's going to make him want to do it more . It's just helping to support him is taking a lot of time . He needs at least two miles a day and it's been whether has not been great for that here .

It's winter in Oregon . I'm adjusting and I've adjusted my own priorities . To be a good parent to Alfred and support him in learning is my number one January goal . It was so cringy for me to cross out my previous goals and to write that as my goal , but I knew in my heart that supporting him was the number one thing , because I work from home .

He and I are coworkers . We work together . I've got to be an awesome boss to help him be a good coworker to me . We have to work together in this house . That is something that had to become a priority , because I do quiet work and I can't have him howling and act in the full . That's not his fault .

He just needs to learn the way that we act together while I'm working . So that has supported us together . But here's the thing and why I titled this episode . What I Did is that taking a step back , having to take this step back , helped me to re-ioritize what truly matters , not just to me , but to my husband , to our new dog , son .

I'm looking more holistically at the way that I am working and it is helping me to see things through a different lens . I was so gung-ho for all of the things that I had planned that stepping back and actually taking this time with him , although it has come with some pretty significant challenges .

I also should mention and I mentioned this to all of my newsletter subscribers that I have . My seasonal depression is a real thing for me . Every January I struggle with it . I'm a vitamin D sunshine girl and when those days when we can't get out very challenging the holidays I currently live really far from my family very challenging .

So thing after thing around this time of year does start to add up for me . We had actually planned to go to Hawaii and then we got Alfred . So it's come with its challenges . Taking this step back has not just been all peaches and cream and sunshine and rainbows . In fact , we've had no sunshine nor rainbows .

We got iced in and an ice storm here in Portland for the past two weeks , finally starting to thaw today and we're discovering a minefield of poop that got frozen in the icy tundra that I think my husband just cleaned up today . Thank you , joey .

So there's been a lot of shit that's been happening through these past few weeks and at the same time I'm starting to come out on the other side of it and see how stepping back has helped me to see things more clearly and in a different way .

I'm suddenly having ideas that I had not had before and I definitely would not have had if I had just kept plowing ahead . I opened up a listening ear to people and open up the opportunity to speak with them and to hear things , and that is helping me have new ideas . So Alfred was a gift in many ways .

But one of those things is really helping me to slow down , and this happens to us right , like we have something that comes and it way , lays our plans and that can be so frustrating and we can really beat ourselves up and have compassion for yourself .

If you're in that space of beating yourself up because you're not achieving what you wanted to achieve , so much compassion for yourself and understanding it's normal that you would feel those things . I'm saying this to myself as much as I'm saying it to anybody , as with anything I ever share , it's so normal .

Of course you're going to have those feelings , you're going to have those thoughts . You're going to have those days of curling up into a ball and crying and saying why and feeling like you're a failure . That doesn't go away with the human experience .

What does change is our ability to step back and to see that happening and to recognize that that is part of your human experience . It is not all that you are . What you truly are is this brilliant , sparkly ball of light , unicorn , magic . That's what you really are .

That's where all of those beautiful creative ideas and all of your fun and all of your magic comes from that space . And you're getting to co-create it . With this human experience that you're having , with all these limitations that you're experiencing , you're getting to co-create really cool things in this 3D human reality together .

It's that sparkly ball of essence , that soul whatever you want to call it that you are , and this human experience that you're having together that is manifesting such cool things into the world . So we do have to have that connection with the sparkly ball of light , because that's actually what you are , that's the true essence of you .

That's when you take your final breath , whatever it is that it goes , we don't know . That's what you really are , that is the truth of who you are .

And if we're ignoring that , never connecting with that , never listening to that , never letting ourselves be guided by that and realizing that Alfred was a gift from the universe who came in to support me in some way , if I didn't see that or make that connection , it would make life so hard and it would make co-creation practically impossible .

It would make intentional co-creation completely impossible . So , create a relationship with that , what you might want to call higher self , with that version of you , with that inner essence , that oneness , the wholeness . Find that relationship . You might already have a really amazing relationship with it . You might be connecting with it all day , every day .

Listen to it , continue listening to it , because that is where the true inner guidance comes from . That's how you escape from that flurry , the curling up in the ball thing that the human mind is doing . That's how you gain the lessons .

We gain the lessons from that space of realizing what you truly are and what that experience is that you're having and what there is to learn , so that you can step forward more and more . So sometimes , when we have these really hard scenarios , it brings us back home , brings you home and you start asking those questions of like oh , what is here for me ?

What am I learning here ? That's why sometimes the most painful things can bring us the greatest lessons , because that brings us home to ourselves . But we don't have to have painful things happen to help us come back home to that essence . We can be doing it all day , every day , and that's the journey right . But we also can't live as monks .

I mean , some people could . I feel like I could . I did tell my husband this . I'm like I do feel like I could live in a cave probably , but I would also not be as happy because I love him and I love Alfred and I love the outside world . But there is this piece of me that could totally cocoon . I'm a cave dweller .

I could go inward that way , but I'm a much happier person because my gifts were meant to be shared with people . So most of us are not going to be living as monks and we can't just be in the meditative state all day , every day .

But we can find little ways to return to it through a simple breath , through an intentional inhale , an intentional exhale , maybe another intentional inhale and then making that exhale a little bit longer than the inhale .

Do that with me and feel the difference in your body as you extend that exhale , how that can help you to connect , disconnect from the flurry of the mind , reconnect to what you truly are , and then invite yourself to ask that question what is here for me in this moment ? How is this serving me ? What is not serving me ?

We can get conscious with those questions and that allows us to , even just through your breath , you can take a step back , adjust your priorities , what is here for me , what can I change , what can I shift , and that allows you to leap forward in massive , massive ways . So invite compassion for yourself . If you're having a struggle , please reach out to me .

Hello , at journalistcom , send me a message . I'm so happy to be here for you if you struggle with seasonal depression , even just as a sounding board , to listen and to be there and to understand at the level that I can understand myself , because it's real , it can be something that a lot of people really struggle with .

So , huge , huge compassion , open your heart to that part of yourself that is struggling and , at the same time , recognize that there is so much magic that is here for you in every moment and you indeed are a part of that magic .

You are , as my mentor , kathy Heller says and it came from her rabbi , actually rabbi David Aaron you are a masterpiece , you are a piece of the master . Each of us is connected to that magic . You are part of the magic . You are bringing the magic , so when we can come back home and remember that , it will spring us forward in so many powerful ways .

Thank you so much for listening to this episode . I so appreciate that you did . I hope you got a little something to remind you of the sparkly magic that you have inside of you . There was something that you really loved about this episode and you want to share it on social media . I want to take a little screenshot of the episode .

Tag me I'm UntetheredGen on Instagram If I see that tag . If you tag me and I see it , I will always reshare your post . I appreciate you so much . Thanks again for listening . You just keep shining your magical unicorn light out there for all to see . I'll see you next time .