Danielle Cobo 0:05
Hey beautiful Welcome to dream job with Danielle Cobo podcast. I am Danielle Cobo, elite career coach, and I believe every woman has the power to step into their dream job, earn the salary they are worth, and live the life they desire. Each week you join me, you're going to hear from these inspiring women who have overcome adversity and leveled up their career. You're going to learn how to eliminate that inner critic that is holding you back from pursuing your dream. How to build confidence, create healthy boundaries to transition burnout to re energize and gain clarity on how to accelerate your career. It's never too late to pursue your dream job. The time is now. Are you ready? Hey, everyone. Welcome to another episode of dream job within your Kobo, I am your host and your Kobo and I'm excited to share my guests with you today. My guest is Barbara Ticer, and she is a TEDx, global and woman's speaker. She's a published author with her book, it's how you say it with 25 years experience developing leaders in Fortune 500 companies, Barbara has a focus on women and helps accelerate women to be influential leaders with greater impact. for over 13 years, Barbara has spoken for over 400 times and done countless workshops for corporations, organizations and associations. She's the creator of the propel her system, which focuses on women in business and brings them through a deep and systematic three pillar approach to impacting corporate cultures, careers and mindset. So thank you so much for joining us today.
Barbara Teicher 1:54
Thank you for having me. It's great to be here.
Danielle Cobo 1:57
We are excited to have you you have such a wealth of experience and knowledge and in really empowering women. And there's so many nuggets that I took away from reading your book. And I'm excited that we get to dive in a little bit today to talk about some of the things I loved about your book. And I would encourage everybody to read Of course, I'll include the book in the show notes. So before we begin, tell us a little bit about your career journey.
Barbara Teicher 2:22
Wow. It started many, many years ago, and I started out in sales and sales management. From that I got into training and found the man of my dreams. And she was living in Kansas City, I lived in Dallas, and I moved back to Kansas City because I had family here. And I started working in the telecom industry and started in leadership development. And that grew into kind of a liaison position at the executive levels. And that led to speaking so I spoke for a lot of CEOs, CIOs, e, i, e, i O 's, as they say. And that's where I got my speaking background and started my business about 14 or 15 years ago, with a focus on leadership development and communication. That has sense, although I still focus there has since kind of narrowed in on really, really supporting women in business?
Danielle Cobo 3:18
Well, you've definitely made an impact with women's lives everywhere with the speaking engagements that you've had, and speaking all over the world as well. So you talk about in your book, it's how you say you talk about, think from the outside in and act from the inside out. Will you elaborate on this?
Barbara Teicher 3:36
Sure. I think most people think of themselves as either what they call type A or type B, right? Either they're analytical and detailed, or they are outgoing and personable. To me, I think there needs to be a blend of both. So what I mean by that to answer your question is, when you are making a decision, or you have an issue, or whatever the case may be, think from the outside in, what are the details? What is the data? What does history tell you? What would the subject matter? Experts say? What is all of that logical information that you need to have to make that great decision? Once you've made the decision act? from the inside out? How will it impact the people that are going to be hit by this decision? How will it impact the culture of the company? How will it impact teams? How will it impact working together so that you're considering not just the business, not just the people, but the whole situation for the betterment of both people and the culture of the company?
Danielle Cobo 4:38
That's a great explanation of really thinking differently. And and I always say the higher you go in a corporation organization, you're thinking about the impact that you make. And when you're thinking you're talking about thinking from the outside in and acting from the outside, out, or from the inside out. That's really a reflection of what what you see in some of the leaders Those that are out there today,
Barbara Teicher 5:01
hopefully.
Danielle Cobo 5:02
Yeah, hopefully. Yes.
Barbara Teicher 5:04
Hopefully it wasn't always that way.
Danielle Cobo 5:07
Yeah. So in your book, you also talk about style communication differences, and really the communication differences between men and women. And I would say that, you know, when you look at some of the way that the movies portray successful women, oftentimes I think of the Devil Wears Prada, and it's always this woman who's in high power, and she is, for lack of a better words. Hmm. Trying to
Unknown Speaker 5:34
Catch the word, Danielle, that was the word you're thinking is the word. Yes,
Unknown Speaker 5:38
Yes. So I know that there's many listeners that sometimes have kids in the car. So be mindful the language that we use. In media in movies, often the woman that is very successful is known as this powerhouse. Not very nice. And so what happens is, the result of that is it creates this stigma of power for women. Yeah, so elaborate a little bit more about the differences of how men and women communicate, and in a corporate setting, and how women can communicate, to really create their seat at the table.
Barbara Teicher 6:11
Okay, I'm going to tell you a short story, personal story that will drive the point home, and then I'll transfer that over to corporate. My husband and I have been married almost 29 years, I keep trying to tell him how lucky he is. But anyway, when we were first married, and going back to work, right after the honeymoon, I thought our first day back, I would call him and tell him I missed him and couldn't wait to see him. Now I'm thinking like me. So I call him and I hear the phone ring and the butterflies and she answered the phone. And this is how that conversation went. Hello. Hi. It's me. Hi, what do you need? I don't need anything. I just wanted to call and say hi, and and see how you're doing. I'm doing fine. I'll talk to you tonight. Click. So when I got home, I gave him a little feedback. And what he shared was, when she was at work, like many of us, he was focused and driven. And he didn't really have time. So the next time I called him at work, when I did have something I needed to ask, I started to think like him and thought, Okay, I'm going to call I'm going to ask I'm going to get off. So that time I called and here was the conversation. Hello. Hi, I have three things to ask you thing. One thing two things three, Oh, yeah. Answer one answer to answer three. How you doing? How's your day? Right? Well, bottom line to be really clear how my day was no. But the key is, I had to try to think like him. And he was trying to think like me to get along. The challenge in corporate and in work, what happens is, we just assumed people should be like us, and we think like us and talk like us, we are drawn to people like us. And when they're not whether we are the person that's direct and aggressive, or we are the person that's more personable, if you will, there's that disconnect, and the way to to challenge that and to change that is to try and think of the personalities that will be at the table. And not, don't be yourself. But try and modify that style to be a style that they would welcome and not a style they would push back on because you want them to share your message, not your delivery. Right.
Danielle Cobo 8:25
That is very great. That is great advice. Because often we communicate when I was in corporate, we went through different trainings, we go through color inside or you go through personality trainings, and, and also love languages of appreciation in the workplace as a lot of personality trainings we go to, and often we're communicating in the way that we want to receive communication pletely different when you're communicating to somebody else. And I almost want to say that my roles in our marriage are a little flipped. My husband's Mike, you know, he'll drive home and he's like, What are you doing? How are you? I am trying to wrap up work real quick before I think go take care of our kids, is it it's something you need right now. It must be like ours are a little reverse in our marriage. But and you
Unknown Speaker 9:13
And know, the challenge with that to Danielle in a work setting is let's say I go into someone's office. And I'm like, Hi, how you doing? And they're like, What do you need? In my mind that translates to be to, I don't care about you, I don't want to talk to you, you have nothing important to say. On the flip side. If if I go into their office and I say Hey, their impression may be you know, your your to fluff. You don't take things seriously. You don't right. When the truth is is not that way that perception is different on each side. And so how do we marry those perceptions and a lot of that is in the book and a lot of that is what we work on in workshops and things. How do you how do you modify that approach to that that delivery so that you're still yourself, you've got to be yourself. But at the same time, it's something that people will welcome and want to be a part of.
Danielle Cobo 10:08
So what advice would you give to women out there because one of the biggest challenges that we see is there's very few women that are in executive roles. And I worked in an industry, I worked in an aesthetic industry where 90% of the or I would say 80 85% of the sales representatives are women. And the consuming product did that work with sold is 90% women. However, the higher you go in the corporation, the fewer women women there are. So it's interesting that the consumer is typically woman, the sales reps are women. However, the higher you go, and the executive leadership is transitioned more to a male in executive leadership. So what can women do to really position themselves to stand out as they're climbing up the corporate ladder as they're going into these little leadership positions?
Barbara Teicher 11:02
It's interesting that you said that, Danielle, because I did a TED talk in Kansas, a TEDx talk in Kansas City for TEDx Casey women. And one of the things that I talked about in that was without going into all the boring statistics and things, research has proven that companies that are led by women, and by that I mean, they are in the CEO position, are much more successful financially for the company, the company is more financially successful than those that are led by men. And yet, to your point, they're not there. Why not? And you could say, well, you know, corporate America has typically been male, they don't like to change, will a corporate America didn't change, there would be no corporate America, right? So what does it take to your point, it takes women that are self competent enough to be themselves, and yet strong enough to be gentle. And let me explain that some women sit at the table, and it's an either or situation. Either I have to go in and I have to knock everybody down. And I have to let them know that I am here. Or we do kind of a cultural thing we've been taught and that is we kind of wait until we're invited to speak. And then we speak, I have seen and to answer your your question. Specifically, what can people do? I'm going to share three things. One is never apologize for your comments. I have been at a table where a woman has said and started her conversation with, well, you've probably already heard this, and this may not work. So if you have I'm sorry. But Hello, quit discounting yourself, right? You have just as much right to be there. And more times that not your ideas are wonderful. Because if you're not confident in yourself, right, the second thing I will say is stand up for yourself. And here's what I mean by that. I share something at the table that people go oh, yeah. And 10 minutes later, some guy says the exact same thing. And they're brilliant, you know, they're brilliant. A lot of women would sit back and not say anything to me, I would look at that person and say that's so funny. I just said that. So help me understand, am I am I missing this? What is different from what I said? And maybe we can blend the two? Because there's nothing different? And you're what you're saying is Hello, right? And the third thing is do your homework, when you're going to a meeting not only what is that meeting about? Who's going to be there? Why are they there? If I'm sitting in the in a meeting, and there's finance and there's sales, and there's marketing, and there's right, they all have a different focus. So when I'm going to share whatever brilliant thing I'm going to share, I want to make sure that as I say it, there is something in there that might catch the eye or the ear of whoever it is that's in finance, or whoever it is that's in sales or marketing. So that when I share my idea, it's not just Barb's great idea that you guys should listen to. It's, here's a great strategic option that will really bring benefit to every goal that were or many of the goals that we're talking about, right? And to be yourself. Don't try to be someone else any anyway, all of that stuff is in that TED talk, but it's right up the alley of what you're talking about.
Danielle Cobo 14:16
We will be right back to today's episode. Whether you want to get a promotion, find a new job, increase your sales performance, the feeling of clarity on how to accelerate your career is priceless. The risk of uncertainty is missing out on promotions, lacking leadership experience. unclear on how to break through that glass ceiling. You're left feeling stuck, frustrated and discouraged. 74% of employees feel like they're not achieving their full potential because of lack of development opportunities. It becomes a lot easier to get there. When you know where you're going. How would you feel if you knew exactly where to go and how to get there with 15 years of experience in corporate America and in certified leadership Coach, I've helped 1000s of professionals transform their mind from self doubt, to confidence and courage and gain clarity on how to accelerate their career. I invite you to go to my website, Danielle kobo.com, at CEO Bo, and schedule your career discovery session with me. Thanks for tuning in. And back to today's episode. And I'll be sure to include the link in the show notes. I invite everybody to watch the TEDx because it's a it's a very powerful message on women and leadership. And I thoroughly enjoyed it's one of the reasons why I reached out to you, Barbara, because I wanted to share this, I said, Wow, this is an amazing TEDx, I want to I want her to be a guest on the show, from what I'm hearing from you is be confident. And part of being confident is not saying sorry. And, and also, I invite you, listeners, what would it look like if you went a week without saying I'm sorry? What are some ways that we can kind of shift our language instead of saying I'm sorry, even the simple ways that we bump into somebody or we're late and shifting from instead of saying, I'm sorry, to thanks for your patience? You know, if you're late to an event or something, thanks for your patience, because we start to say, I'm sorry, it's about us, and not so much about the other person and the fact that they were waiting.
Barbara Teicher 16:21
Right, right. I think it was The Princess Diaries, the movie that Julie Andrews played the queen. And when she walked into the room, her niece said, Grandma, you're late. And she said, Oh, no, honey, the queen is never late. Everyone else is just early. Right. And I think that's, I think that's kind of funny what you just said, because that that reinforces that. One of the ways not to say I'm sorry, and this goes back to the competence, right? So the I'm sorry, is just a, an outcome really of the confidence. But when you go into a meeting, or you're you're going to send out an email, I can't stress enough that that one thing that will help your confidence, as well as your perception, people's perception of you, I should say, is to make sure that you are confident in what you're sending. Do I have my facts Correct? Do I have my information? Correct? Have I put what is the benefit to what I'm suggesting, right? So it's not just hey, let me share this, what's the outcome? What's the benefit, right? And the more you do those things, and the more you know, you have done them, well, it will start to build that confidence. There's something else that I talk about a lot in the programs I do, and it's called your pop, which is the power of your presence. As a woman in business, we have an opportunity to have huge impact on the culture of a company, because of the power of our presence. It's called the effector. Right? And, and it's a long story I won't go into now. But all of these things together will help propel women up that ladder, and the ladder they want it to be. It's not I want to be in business. So I have to give this up at home. Now. You just need to know how to climb the ladder and what shoes to wear. You know what I mean? So
Danielle Cobo 18:08
yes, and that's also about, it's not a matter of that shifting your speaking to is, oh, if I climb the corporate ladder, then I'm not going to be at present at home as much. No, it's about understanding your value. It's about understanding that your time is your most valuable asset and setting boundaries. And I think that was one of the biggest learning lessons I learned. I remember when I was in a leadership role before having my kids, I'm going how are these women? I feel like I am going 100 miles an hour, and I am just not even creating balance in my life. And I go how are these moms doing it? And when I became a mom, I learned how to create balance by being very intentional with my time where if I'm going to have a call with somebody, there's going to be intention behind it. And I learned to say yes to things I've also learned to say yes, I you know, thank you so much for inviting me to be part of this project. I currently have something that's time sensitive that I'm going to go ahead and take care of right now. So there's ways that you can say yes, with also setting boundaries. You know, yes, I can talk to you maybe you know, let's have some time tomorrow.
Barbara Teicher 19:16
Right? Right. You know, you said something that I think is so so important, Danielle that I'm going to repeat it and that is when you are a woman in business emphasis on the word woman because of our culture. We feel like we have to say yes to everything I even do a program called how to say no with finesse right. But we we want to say yes at work and yes to the projects and yes at home and yes to the PTA and yes to church and yes to neighbors and yet, right because we don't want to let anyone down. In the process. What we're doing is exhausting ourselves. So unfortunately, when women have time said To the careers and lives like we all do, what we tend to do is the first thing that gets pushed out. Is that, right? Yep. How do we put us back in and make it in, in such a way that you don't feel guilty about it, it actually becomes your priority. Because how can we be good for other people? If we're not good ourselves, but we don't we don't think about
Danielle Cobo 20:21
1,000% I think that was one of the conversations I had with my husband one day is, is ask for help. He's, I see that you're burnt out, you need to ask for help and, and not feeling guilty for it. I remember one of these days, I said, Okay, I have too much on my plate, you had just gotten back from a deployment. I've been doing everything while you've been gone. So now we get to we're both working professionals, parents. And so I remember we wrote down a list of all the things the household chores that get to be done. And we wrote down this list, and I said, Okay, you choose one that I choose, why'd you choose one that I choose one, so we had the power of making the decision of the ones we wanted to choose? We also divided up the chores. Perfect,
Barbara Teicher 21:03
perfect. You know, and and one thing that I say to women, as they're talking about their accomplishments here, what they're doing or whatever, is that I asked them, When is the last time you did something for yourself? And what was it? And nine times out of 10? Someone will say I went to bed? I mean, right? But how do you intentionally carve out time? That's good for you? Right? That isn't a token gesture, and yet not feel to your point guilty? Why do we feel guilty about this? Nobody else does. Right? Why did we do that to ourselves. But corporate America is interesting, because it's like, it's like building a cake. Everything you do when you are in your career position is an ingredient in that cake. Right? If you put too much of something, it throws it off, if there's not enough of something, it throws it off. Or maybe you have put the ingredients together in such a way it just leaves a bad taste. So how do you know what to put in and how much to put in and all of those things, and there is a recipe for that. And the recipe is different, depending upon what what position you want, what the culture of the company is, and how badly you want it. How badly do you want this? Because if you want it badly, it's not going to be easy, right? If it was everybody do it. But it will be rewarding if you are willing to learn how to bake the cake. Hmm.
Danielle Cobo 22:30
Well said, I like that analogy of baking the cake. So what are three things you want our listeners to walk away from, from our conversation today? Because you you shared so much valuable information on how women can accelerate their career, create the seat at the table, communicate differently, what are three things you want our listeners to walk away from?
Barbara Teicher 22:50
I would say first of all, you are worth it. Whatever it is you're choosing to do climb the corporate ladder, be at home, do all of them, whatever, whatever your goals are, you deserve to have them. That's the first thing. The second thing would be like the book says it's not what you say. It's how you say it. How are you approaching your relationships both at home and at work with different people so that they make sense and so that they realize that you are trying to be on their side? Not against them. It's not us in them. It's we write how do you create, we write. And I think the third thing would be what you talked about earlier, before you make a decision before you try to change something before you you know, approach an issue. Think from the outside in and act from the inside out. Those would be my three.
Danielle Cobo 23:53
That's great advice. Well, I thank you so much for joining today. There's so many things that we were able to take away from this conversation in a short amount of time. So I everybody to I will include the link for her book. I invite everybody read it also include the link for her TEDx so you guys can watch that as well. And also some links for you to follow Barbara on LinkedIn as well on her website, so lots of different areas to find her. She's a phenomenal Speaker and thank you so much for joining today.
Barbara Teicher 24:21
Thanks for having me, Danielle. It was my pleasure. Take care.
Danielle Cobo 24:24
Thank you. Well for those of you that have tuned in I invite you to share this episode with your friends your family, especially women that you know that are in that area where they want to accelerate their career they want to create their say that seat at the table and share this episode with others. Of course if you enjoyed today's episode, I invite you go ahead subscribe, write a comment. I always enjoy hearing from you. If you tagged me in today's episode, I will also send you a free workbook on how to create balance in your life and accelerate your career. So thank you for tuning in and create an intentional day.
How Women Speak Differently in the Workplace with Barbara Teicher
Episode description
Welcome to another episode of “Dream Job with Danielle Cobo”!
In today's conversation, we talk all about the different communication styles between men and women, advice for women looking to break into leadership roles, why you need to stop saying "I'm sorry", and saying no to that which doesn't serve you.
I'm joined by Barbara Teicher. Barbara is a TEDx Global and Women's speaker. She is a published author with her book “It’s How You Say It”, with twenty-five years’ experience developing leaders in Fortune 500 companies. Barbara has a focus on women and helps accelerate women to be influential leaders with greater impact.
For over 13 years Barbara has spoken over 400 times and done countless workshops for corporations, organizations, and associations. She’s the creator of the PropelHer® System, which focuses on women in business and brings them through a deep and systematic three-pillar approach impacting corporate cultures, careers, and mindset.
“When you're going to a meeting, you need to do your homework on who is going to be there and what is going to be talked about" – Barbara Teicher
Listen on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTube https://www.daniellecobo.com/podcast
Highlights
💫 2:21 A little about Barbara's career journey
💫 5:15 Communication differences between the sexes
💫 10:12 What can women do to stand out in a leadership position?
💫 16:42 Why you need to stop apologizing!
💫 19:38 It is okay to say "no"
💫 22:35 Three takeaways from today's conversation
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Connect with Featured Guest, Barbara Teicher
✳️ Website: https://www.propelherinfluence.com/
✳️ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Its-HOW-You-Say-Communication
✳️ TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94m73OkOZqU
Connect with Elite Career Coach, Danielle Cobo
❤️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellecobo/
❤️ Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/TheDanielleCobo
❤️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedaniellecobo/
👠 Join the “Dream Job” Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2826110370979215/
❤️ Subscribe to Dream Job-Newsletter: https://www.daniellecobo.com/connect
Books and Workbooks
FREE Career Accelerator Digital Workbook: https://www.daniellecobo.com/career-acceleration
FREE Crush Your Quota Digital Workbook: https://www.daniellecobo.com/sales-performance
Book Recommendations: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-de49157c
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