How to Handle Gaps in your Resume and Advance your Career with Marla Bautista

Danielle Cobo  0:02  
Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of dream job with Danielle Cobo. I am your host Danielle Cobo. And today we have an extraordinary guest and the reason being is She's a fellow military spouse. We have lots of things to dive into today. My guest today is Marla bow Teesta and she's a published author, TEDx speaker, military spouse and CEO of Teesta project. She is the author of my thoughts, abandon, and co author of brave women strong faith. She is also a freelance writer, blogger and speaker. Her bylines include Miami Herald Stars and Stripes and what to expect, she earned her Bachelor's in communication from the University of Maryland University College. As a keynote speaker, she uses her personal and professional experience to connect with diverse audiences across a spectrum of forums. Her passion is helping people in need. And she does, she does, because she's a co founder and CEO of the bow Teesta project incorporated and nonprofit organization providing for homeless community members in Tampa, and our local area. So thank you so much for joining us today.

Marla Bautista  1:12  
Thank you so much for having me, Danielle. I appreciate it. This is awesome.

Danielle Cobo  1:18  
Well, you know, we are both military spouses. And as a military spouse, there's kind of some unique challenges that we go through. And while while we're military spouses, there's a lot of things that we can take away from the unique challenges that we have, that can be shared with everybody. And so one of them is, you know, often we're moving we're relocating we it's called PCS is what we do, it's permanent change of station. And so oftentimes, we're moving and one of the biggest challenges for military spouses is really to have a thriving career, because as soon as you get traction in one state, then you're moving to another one. And there's also kind of this preconceived notion that some people have where, how long, you know, we're going for an interview, and they're thinking, Well, how long are you going to be here? How are you going to handle this job when you're deployed? All of those things? So what do you typically do when there's situations where you're relocating, and you might have a resume gap?

Marla Bautista  2:19  
One of the biggest, the best things that I could have ever done honestly, in between moves, is volunteer. Volunteering allows you to keep your skills fresh, while using your experience. And so we understand that volunteering isn't a paid position, but guess what you're still working, add that to your resume, add your volunteer position to your employment resume, as an unpaid position, you absolutely have the right to do that. You've earned that experience. While you may not have been paid, you were still working. So using your skill set, and enhancing the skills that you already have. Definitely volunteer.

Danielle Cobo  3:09  
That's great advice, because you're right. And that's another way of giving back to the community and really showing what you're passionate about whether it's feeding the homeless, whether it's helping, you know, I speak sometimes for the dress for success organization, which is women that have come out of battered relationships, and they're really just kind of start their lives over. And so being able to contribute and support our community while also leaning in on our expertise and building more skill sets.

Marla Bautista  3:40  
Absolutely. I agree. And a lot of people assume or think of volunteering, as you know, we're going to go work at a food pantry, or we're going to do manual labor. That's not always the case. Use your skills. If you went to school for accounting, offer your skills as an accountant, to a nonprofit organization. This is a great way again, to keep your skills or breadth, but to also offer your services. And it works for everyone. Right? It helps me it helps you. And again, you can add that position to your resume as an unpaid position.

Danielle Cobo  4:16  
And also to one of the things that I often see with military spouses is a lot of military spouses have multiple degrees. We definitely kind of take advantage of the fact that there are some resources for us when it comes to using some of the government funding when it comes to getting education. And they really utilize on hey, if I'm going to have time in between relocations, if I am going to have time in between jobs, then it's a matter of continuing to build the skill sets whether you're doing volunteer work or whether you're going back to school and it's continuing that that learning that you're going through

Marla Bautista  4:55  
to absolutely continued learning, receiving the higher education Whether that is a traditional higher education or whether it's a skills, trade, vocational school or some type of intern or externship, or apprenticeship, it's always great to hone in on the skills you want to capitalize on are advancing. And so definitely take those times where you can't fully commit to getting a job and take that time to educate yourself, take an in person class, take an online class, I took a certificate program at USF for free, USF was offering the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion course for free, I took that course. And I am now certified for free. And so for me, that was a quick four week course that I did on my own, and I have a certification for it. And that was literally a month of my life, the time is going by whether you go to school or not. So why not use that time wisely and educate yourself?

Danielle Cobo  6:02  
I did not know about that resource, I'm definitely going to look into it. And that really speaks to if that question comes up where somebody the hiring manager is asking you, well, there's a gap in your resume. And where you are able to say yes, there is there was times in my tween, I was in transition with jobs. With that said, this is what I did during this time I sharpened my skill sets, I learned new skill sets that are then going to transfer and support me thriving in this new role that I'm interviewing for.

Marla Bautista  6:32  
Absolutely, absolutely. Explain that. But also make sure that you are completely spelling that out in plain language on your resume. Note those opportunities for advancement in your academic career, not those opportunities for advancement in your professional career, right. Because what people want to see is they want to see that you're doing something to advance your skills, they want to see that you're, you're growing in some ways. And so absolutely using that opportunity, taking the time off, don't ever take that time offered, to explain yourself to say, Well, hey, I couldn't do anything because we were moving or, you know, that's not their business. What you can say is I took the time to advance my professional development, or I worked on personal development during the time away from work.

Danielle Cobo  7:27  
And that's something to you know, whether you are looking for a job right now, or whether you are in the current role that you want to be in continuing to invest in yourself is essential for the personal career growth. And just being the best version of yourself. I've always, I've always been an advocate of utilizing resources to continue to support you in thriving in your life. And whether it's reading books, doing podcasts, there's LinkedIn learning courses, there's, you know, going back to school and taking courses, trade schools, there's so many different resources out there that that we can use. And sometimes it's just a matter of going out there and and asking around. Absolutely.

Marla Bautista  8:10  
If you are a military spouse, and you are, you have access to a military installation, head over to your library, they have specific information about free courses that are paid for through the military community. And so here, my spouse is stationed at MacDill Air Force Base. And so I went into the library, I learned that there was this huge list of real certification courses that you could take for free. And they literally give you the login. And you go and take those courses. I was like, Wait, so there's no like school sign up. They're like, No, you take these courses. Once you're done, you get your certificate. I'm like, oh, oh my gosh, but I would have never known if I would have never went to the library. I was only in the library because I I did volunteer for taller reading group. So I held a toddler reading group at the library. But normally because we have access to the internet, I really don't go check out tangible books, right. So I was there for toddler reading group. And I just happened to walk by and I'm like, What's this? And they started explaining it to me, the librarian explained it to me, and I was like, Are you kidding? I'm like, I have access. Like this is free free. She was like free free. I was like, Ah, okay, I'm gonna go. I'm checking in, like I was literally doing all these courses and take the courses that will advance you in your professional development. You don't have to take everything everyone else is taking. Stay in your lane, right? Do what's best for you. And you can't be your best self unless you're doing what's best for you.

Danielle Cobo  9:44  
That Well first off, I'm going to definitely have to look into that because there's a lot of resources I didn't even know about and you know, whether you're a military spouse and you're utilizing some of the resources that are available to military spouses, or if you not because I know that there's a lot of listeners here that aren't a lot of the country companies that you work for do offer online courses. So reach out to your manager, ask them what online courses are, if you want to sharpen your skill sets with Excel or PowerPoint or leadership or communication, then ask them. And if they don't offer that, then ask them, if you can invest in somebody outside your organization, a lot of times, companies will pay for it, it's just a matter of you taking the initiative and saying, hey, I want to advance my career, I want to continue to add value to this organization. And that's why I'm asking that not only I invest the time, but you're also investing in contribution towards the financial aspect, it always, I mean, always helps to ask and a lot of companies too, will also pay for higher education as well. So if you want to go back to your to get your Masters or you want to go get your MBA, then companies often will pay for, it's just a matter of reaching out to a manager.

Unknown Speaker  10:56  
Yeah, and a lot of times the companies do have a set allotment in a different area where they do allow you to go to school. I'm sorry, I just can't. But there are a lot of companies that that do actually set aside allotments for educational resources for their employees. And so having those, those opportunities, like you said, Danielle, you've got to take the initiative and show that you want to learn and ask if you ask, they will be like, hey, yeah, we actually do have this money. And a lot of times, most people don't take advantage because they don't realize it's an option for them. But if you work whatever lane you work in, like say you work for, you know, a news company or you know, something that has like internal communications, you can ask to be certified SEO, you can get your SEO certification, marketing certifications. I mean, social media right now is hot. All companies are using social media, all of them, you need to be you need to know what you're doing. And so they will pay for you to take these courses. And this course will not only help you in the particular job that you're in now, it'll help you in the future as well. And so people just need to, you know, kind of get bust out of our shells and just ask,

Danielle Cobo  12:21  
right? Yeah, it is a matter of asking, because I've had some companies where clients have gone to their company and said, Would you invest in my development? This is a career coach that I want to work with. And I've had some companies that have paid for the whole program. And then I've had some companies that say, well, we'll go ahead and pay for half. But it never I mean, you'll never know unless you ask.

Marla Bautista  12:43  
Absolutely.

Danielle Cobo  12:45  
So another so another challenge that we kind of have as a military spouse, I always, I always joke around and I say, you know, while my husband loves me dearly, there's a reality that the military always comes first. You know, there's just going to be times where I remember I was sitting around a table with a bunch of other military spouses. And we were talking about our different stories. And I'm going okay, yeah, my husband, I've been married for eight years, we spent three anniversaries together, I had another military spouse that said, Yeah, two weeks after I delivered my baby, my husband was deployed and or I had another military spouse that said, Yeah, but we didn't live in the same area in the same state for two years. Wow. And it's just kind of the unique environment of being a military spouse. And so sometimes, while the love is there with us, there's just a reality that the military comes first, they can call him in at any time. So with that said, there are extended periods of time where they're gone, or they're called in last minute for missions. Or there's times where I know I've had some development programs that I wanted to get involved in was signed up, but then I had to cancel just because he was going to be deployed and I would stay home with the kids. So how can you support your spouse's career and your career because you are a career driven woman?

Marla Bautista  14:04  
Absolutely. And I'm not gonna lie, it has been a challenge. We haven't gone without struggle. But one of the best things that I've learned to do is be honest with yourself, be honest with yourself about time management, be honest with yourself about organization within your business, and the strategies that you're using. One thing I know is I can't go as fast as I can when my husband is home. Right? Because I'm by myself now I've got all the kids and so you know, when I'm on a podcast, and they just got home from school, they bust in the door. My electric stop sign fence isn't working. Clearly I have a stop sign on my door, which doesn't work, but you have to you have to give yourself grace, right? In those periods, you have to give yourself grace. You have to organize your time and you have to be aware of the time that you're spending working. Because that's one of the things that when you have your spouse home, you can do so much more you have that support that help, that physical help, that's there. So one thing I say is, again, give yourself Grace account for the time that you have and be real about it. Be honest with yourself, I know that when my husband is home, I can do to good solid hours of work. Before I need to pick up clothes from the cleaners or cook dinner or, you know, prepare for the kids to come home or go to cheerleading. And so be honest with yourself, instead of giving myself an eight hour workday, and then stressing about not getting the eight hours of work done, I give myself two uninterrupted hours, and you will realize how much work you can actually get done being focused just for those two hours, instead of stressing about eight hours of work.

Danielle Cobo  15:55  
Yeah, highly focused. And I would add to that, too, there's been I like how you use the word grace, because there's gonna be times I've found in my husband, I will be married nine years, march 1. And one of the things that I've kind of learned through this journey is there's going to be different times where we take lead and support each other in our career. So when my husband was when my husband was joining the army, and we were relocating, you know, he took a little bit of a lead in his career in advancing his career. On the flip side, I was also because he was so dedicated to him going to aviation school, I took on a lot of extra projects, when it came to my own development, getting very involved in corporate. And while my husband's deployed, I can actually get a lot done with extra projects. Because I'm, you know, at my home by myself a lot of times that night. But there's also been times where when he got back from his deployment, and I said, Hey, I'm going to be starting this business. He said, You know what, the past couple years you have supported me so much in my career, he's like, this is your time, this is your time to shine, this is your time to build the business. And so I say that, because there are going to be different times where you're going to support each other, you can work simultaneously in growing your career, and then there's some times that you're going to take lead in different areas.

Marla Bautista  17:16  
Absolutely, I agree. And my husband and I have dealt with that as well. And one thing that worked well for us, was for us to learn our strengths and our weaknesses. So one thing I can do is I can count on him to cook dinner, right? So let's say let's commit, I want you to commit to cooking dinner this amount of times per week, or I want you to commit to doing laundry. You know, honestly, within our first couple of years of marriage, the first time he poured half a thing of laundry soap into our clothes. Like I did a five year hiatus of him touching laundry, I was like, I can't not touch my laundry. But I learned that wasn't his strength, right? So work with those strengths. I know that my strength isn't trying to do all the things when he's here. Because again, I have to support his career. And so it's kind of like a tug of war battle, right? Because you're like, No, I have to go out of town, I need to do this, I need to do that. There was times where my husband was out of town. And my dad called and said, Can you come to Kansas and I'm like, uh, yeah, so of course, and I'm calling the nanny, get the nanny here, you know, and you've got to spend the night and so have that stuff prepared. Also, as a mother, I do have a sheet of what to do with my children, everything they like they don't like because one thing I don't want is I don't want it to make it hard for the nanny either, right? You want everything to be easy. Because the easier your life is, the more work you can get done, the happier your family is, and you know, the better your home environment is. And so again, that grace giving yourself the grace, equipping yourself authentically with what you truly need. I, when I first started this journey, as a professional, I lied to myself, right? Because I thought that I can do all the things without the support I needed. So as a new newer military spouse, I was like, I can do this, this and this and this, and then he can still have his career and I can have babies and but then once the baby started coming out, and life was getting real, I realized, okay, this isn't working for me. I've got to be honest with my time management, I've got to be honest with what I can do so chicken nuggets don't bother me anymore. I'm fine with McDonald's. That's okay. And if you're not, that's also okay. If you're able to cook that's great. But if you can order out, give yourself that grace in order out know that everything cannot be perfect all the time. Some things are gonna fall in. That's okay. So my kids are super healthy kids. The chicken nuggets haven't killed them yet. So, you know, that's something that I've given my grace myself grace on. I did used to, to kind of guilt myself like, Oh, we're getting tickets. I mean, there was one time for a week straight. I think we ate chicken nuggets every single day. And it was just bad. I was like, Oh, they're going to turn into chicken nuggets. It's a whole thing. But that didn't happen, right? My kids were okay. And I was okay, because I wasn't stressed out. Because if you cook now we've got to wash dishes. And, you know, now we've got to prepare what to cook and go to the store. And so all of that was unnecessary. Also, lighten your load, right? outsource all sorts of things that are not your greatest strengths. So don't try to take on everything yourself. If you can get someone to do your laundry, send your laundry out. If you can get someone to clean your home, even if it's once a month, have someone come clean your home, if you can get fresh delivered meals, do that. But take those steps to make your life easier, because the harder you're not going to get an award for being overwhelmed, right? There's no mom of the Year award for being overwhelmed. There isn't there isn't a trophy, there's not a big cheque or two weeks worth of rest. And I'm not gonna lie, I had COVID and October. And I literally told my husband the other day, I'm like, I'm exhausted that week, I had COVID. I didn't do anything but lay in the bed. I slept for a week straight. I was like, that's not really sounding bad right now. But that's because I've been on the go. And that's what we do to ourselves, right? We were on the go so much that we crash, we will literally crash and burn. So instead of doing that, realize what your strengths are versus your weaknesses, and outsource those weaknesses. And it's okay. Don't feel guilty about that.

Danielle Cobo  21:55  
There's so many nuggets that you just, you just put in there. And I agree with you. I'm a big advocate of dividing some of the chores. So when my husband got back from deployment, I said, Okay, we're both now here. And we took a list and inventory of all the different tours that we do whatever it is laundry dishwasher, taking out the trash landscaping. And yes, we do outsource a lot. Because if I'm gonna be working as hard as I am during the week, I want to spend time with my kids on the weekend. So I have somebody cleaned my house every other week. And I've always been that way. And we also when we took that list, I said, Okay, you pick a chore. So he's like, I pick taking out the trash. I'm like, okay, awesome, I'll pick, I don't even know what it was. But we just go back and forth. And we picked the ones because it gives, it gives also that person to go, that's what I know that you say you love taking the trash out, but it doesn't mind as bad as some of the other things. And so we just kind of divided and conquered, which was really helpful and creating that balance. And then the other thing that you spoke to is there are going to be times and I've been there very much. So when my husband was deployed for a year, I was traveling 60% of the time, my twins were year and a half. And I remember one week I had a manager's meeting, I came home for another week and then I was gone for another week for our national sales meeting. And I got creative, my nanny did overnights I flew my parents out to spend quality time with their grandkids. And then my in laws help did sometimes you just kind of get creative and create your support system around you.

Marla Bautista  23:31  
Yeah, you have to. And again, you have to be okay with doing that. And you have to realize that you can't do it all and it's okay. It's absolutely okay if you can't do it. I have not met a woman or men yet that can do it all.

Danielle Cobo  23:48  
Now and, and shifting that mindset to because I remember I had a lot of guilt on myself for traveling that time period of being gone. And and then I really shifted my mind was saying, You know what, even though I'm going to be gone for a week, my kids are going to have quality time with their grandparents. And they don't get that very often they live cross country and so really shifting my mind from taking away the guilt and really going, okay, they get quality time and then the times that I am home, I'm 100% present, we go on adventures every single weekend, like I'm a big advocate of putting the phone in the other room and spending quality time with my kids.

Marla Bautista  24:29  
So awesome. Yes, and I absolutely am here for that. I love going places with my kids. I love being present. And I was actually watching this funny video and I wish I knew who made it. It was about Gen Z years and Generation Z and then going to work and they this guy got a new job and he goes Okay, well thank you for welcoming me to the XOOM call for my new job and I just wanted to say that I have a few rules and boundaries. I live like to let you guys no up, I am available between 9am and 5pm. Before 9am, please do not call me after 5pm, please do not call me act like I'm dead. And I was like, oh my god, I was like, these are the boundaries that we need to be setting that we don't honestly, I mean, I'm, if I get up to go pee in the middle of the night, I will come back to my bed and look at my phone at two o'clock in the morning and by email. That's not okay. Now yourself that space from work, it will, it will support you mentally, like give yourself that time. And don't feel obligated to always be present, be present for your family be present for your children. And in the same breath. You don't always have to be present in the moment for your children, explain to your children Hey, Mommy or Daddy has to work. And it's okay because we love going on adventures. And in order to do that mommy and daddy have to work. So what we're going to do is, you know, like when my kids get home from school, they get 30 minutes of tablet time, because that's like their cooldown period, because they're all jumpy. And so they get their 30 minutes, then we come down and we do homework together. And then after that, we'll do our chore, and our one be helpful. And then they get to decide what they'd like to do, I have one in cheerleading. And so she's got cheer practice and stuff like that, but have true dedicated time where you're present for everything in your life, whether that is your spouse, your job, your children, or your hobby, make sure that that is uninterrupted time where you're able to focus on whatever that thing is.

Danielle Cobo  26:46  
So you speak to really setting those boundaries. And one of the commitments that when I was in corporate America, one of the commitments that all of the managers made at one meeting, because we were so overwhelmed, was we made a commitment where we weren't going to email or text message anybody past five o'clock, and I ate encouraged us to create balance in our lives. Plus, no one wants to get their phone deemed at seven o'clock at night because it creates it like should I be working? Why is that person working so much should I be doing the same? And I acknowledged that there are times where I'd be working overnight, if I would be traveling overnight, I would work really late so that when I was home, I could kind of in my days a little bit early. So one of the features if you're ever using Outlook, and I love this feature, there is a feature called delay delivery. So if you put an email together, if you're working late at night, and it's eight o'clock at night, you can put together an email and you can click Date delayed delivery. And you can have it automatically scheduled to send the next day after 9am.

Marla Bautista  27:54  
Yes, I love that. And actually Google Suite has it. Google workspace has it. So on my Google, I can schedule email. So I will schedule those emails for 8am in the morning, or 9am or whenever they need to be sent out. And that way I don't feel like I need it either be there at that moment, or I'm getting I am working late. And though that's okay, too. If you're going to work one whole day, then say that and stick to that. But then the next day, that's a non work day. And you need to start setting those boundaries and time blocking your schedule to what works for you, your family, your hobbies and your own mental and physical well being.

Danielle Cobo  28:32  
Well, we've talked about so much during this episode, we've gone from everything from how to address resume gaps to how to create balance and setting boundaries in your life. What are three things you want our listeners to take away from our conversation today?

Marla Bautista  28:46  
I want the listeners to take away that you are wonderful, you are amazing in whatever you're doing. Whether you have 72 jobs or zero jobs, you are doing amazing things. Give yourself grace, we only have one life. If you work until the day you die, you will be remembered as a hard worker. When I die, I want to be remembered as a loving human being that was there for my children that also gave to the world. So I want them to remember that. Another thing that I want them to remember is you know, always be your best self and being your best self includes taking time for personal development and self care. Because we can't show up as our best self unless we actually are our best selves. So if that means taking a 10 hour nap, which I like to do, I don't know how I sleep so long but I'm able to because obviously I'm exhausted. So take that 10 hour nap take the time To eat some Chinese food, or chicken nuggets, it's okay. If you guys have junk food for dinner one night, one night, I made my kids cheese fries. And they were the most excited children in the world. And I had never made that because I'm like, Oh my God, that's horrible. But I did, and they were so happy. And they ate. And their bellies were full, and they went to bed, and I was able to finish my work. Take time, and remember that nothing will be perfect. But what's perfect, it's what's perfect for you. My perfect won't be your perfect, and your perfect won't be anyone else's perfect, but your life is the only one you get.

Danielle Cobo  30:44  
I have goosebumps. I have goosebumps all the way up my arms because it's such a powerful statement that you just means powerful advice. So thank you so much for joining on today's episode.

Marla Bautista  30:56  
Thank you for having me. This was a great conversation, and I hope that it uplifts your community and I hope that they will continue to thrive.

Danielle Cobo  31:06  
Well, I will include your TEDx talks, I know a lot of people are gonna want to tune into that. So I'll go ahead and include the link to the TEDx talk in the show notes. And for those of you that are tuning in, I invite you please to go ahead, write a review, subscribe and share today's podcast, share it with your friends, your family, your peers, other women that are also wanting support and having a thriving career and balanced life. So thank you so much for tuning in, and create an intentional day.