How to Find Your Purpose and Live Your Own Timeline with Dr. Kortni Alston

Danielle Cobo  0:05  
The dream job with Danielle Cobo podcast is designed to empower women to turn life's biggest challenges into their greatest strength. To address the confidence gap and why women often struggle with visibility. Guests, I talk about how to find your voice, create your seat at the table, and how to be an amazing ally to other women in the workplace. I am a career coach, keynote speaker, corporate trainer, military spouse, and mom to young twin boys. I have experienced as a fortune 500 company leader who guided a team to number one in the nation, having a thriving career and a balanced life is within every woman's reach. And the time is now. 

Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of dream job with Danielle Cobo. I am your host Danielle Cobo, and I'm so excited for you to join today. Today's guest is  Dr. Kortni Alston. She graduated with her PhD from the University of Florida College of Journalism and Communication. She received her Master's of Business Administration at Morgan State University and Bachelor's in mass communication from Delaware State University. She is a TEDx speaker with her talk, young widows grief is used to find her purpose. Dr. Kortni was appointed by the former First Lady of the United States, Miss Rosalyn Carter and the Carter Center to serve on the advisory board of the Carter centers Rosalyn Carter fellowships for mental health journalism. She also serves as assistant professor of journalism and mass communications at North Carolina at State University. Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Kortni.

Dr. Kortni Alston  1:51  
Danielle, thank you so much for having me here. You are just phenomenal. I'm so excited about being here today.

Danielle Cobo  1:57  
Yeah, so we've had the opportunity to really enjoy our time together and getting to know each other. But share with us a little bit with our audience a little bit about your career journey and your story because you definitely have a unique one.

Dr. Kortni Alston  2:11  
Well, thank you so much. Yes, it is a pretty unique story where I started off my career as a television reporter. And made a transition actually I sort of my career correction as a radio personality, I made a transition to working as a television reporter, and then later made the transition from working as a television reporter to a news director running my own news operation for NPR member station, and then deciding while I was working as a news director, you know, I'm gonna go work on my MBA. And so third week on the job, I was working on my MBA, which I really loved and valued and treasured, because it gave me a chance to share information with my news team to be able to help build and grow and serve as support for them. Because one of the things that I loved about leadership is being a supporter of my team. And then my professors started whispering in my ear, you should get a PhD. Oh, and I'm like, No. Initially, I knew I initially said, no matter if I one of the associate, Dean's back then reminded me because remember, when I was mentioning to you to get a PhD? And and you said, No, you wouldn't ever do that and look at you. And I'm like, yeah, now I have one. And but that just shows how life you just never know what's going to happen. Right? It was something that I didn't plan for. But what happened is that I felt called to do it. And then, um, then after making that transition, and within my Ph. D program, I ended up finding what I was, I really feel called to do, which is serving as a happiness scholar. So learning all things positive psychology. So I've made an interesting transition throughout my career from you know, at seven years old, knowing that I wanted to be a journalist, and then clearly taking on certain roles in the industry that allowed me to do that from working as a television reporter in various markets all across the country, to then being able to really being able to share information with an incredible team of reporters and producers. When I served as a news director, to now being a happiness scholar, being able to really leverage my PhD, and also my MBA with sharing positive psychology with the world and how positive psychology can really help you in terms of improving your well being.

Danielle Cobo  4:46  
Well, you definitely earned your stripes when it comes to your education and being an expert in happiness. Without you, you had a life altering event take place in your mid 20s stat changed your life. Will you share with our audience what happened?

Dr. Kortni Alston  5:04  
Absolutely. So in my 20s, when I was working my dream job as a television reporter, I'm in Philadelphia. So here I am in a major market I prior to that, I was working as a reporter in Midland, Texas. And I was really grateful and excited that I went from a small market all the way up to market number four. And because it allowed me to be with my fiancee at the time, and which was an exciting experience, because he was the guy who, who actually drove me 1800 miles from New Jersey to Midland, Texas to move me into my apartment there. When I was working as a television reporter for my first job at for NBC affiliate station, well, the make a very long story short, excited that I made the transition, you know, working in a major market to be close to him. And so three weeks before we were to get married, I found that my mother had surgery, I'm sorry, my mother was in need of surgery for for really a cancer that we weren't aware of so really had an unexpected journey as relates to finding out that she had a very rare cancer at that point, called her coma, had emergency surgery three weeks before our wedding. And I remember thinking to myself, I cannot even imagine getting married to you right now. Because Gosh, mom is fighting for a life of cancer. You know, my, my fiancee at the time name is Brian says, Look, I've waited my whole life to marry you. If we have to get married in this hospital, we're gonna get married. And so we ended up getting married, not in the hospital room, but pretty close at my parents home, and very private ceremony. So the big elaborate wedding that my parents had organized for us. We thought we would just postpone it to renew our vows. Got married, very intimate ceremony at my parents home wearing my mother's wedding dress. And not realizing that the day that he and I got married, we would only be 86 days away from his death. And he died. Story mate news, which is another dynamic because it was a very unique death. My late husband was accidentally shot by his friend and business partner, he they didn't realize the gun was fully loaded. They weren't doing this practice, run. If someone were to break into the store, what will we do kind of thing. And he didn't realize the gun was fully loaded, and unfortunately shot my late husband in the face and he died instantly at the store. And so at 25 years old, I found myself having a status that my friend's parents didn't have at that time meaning widow, and navigating this new dynamic of having a college sweetheart and planning our futures together. And now finding myself planning a funeral and then making this transition as it relates to life as as a widow. And so yeah, it is an incredible story when I think back about it, and even when I still continue to process it, because it was a combination of so many different things. It was a combination of, of my mother being diagnosed with cancer so early on, and you know, prior to our wedding, and then on top of, you know, the loss, the loss of a spouse at 25 years of age.

Danielle Cobo  8:57  
Yeah, that's very young. I'm sorry for your loss.

Dr. Kortni Alston  9:00  
Thank you so much, Danielle. Yeah, it's actually it's one of the reasons why I see time differently. It's one of the reasons why I see experiences differently. It really kind of shaped the way I looked at things. It shaped the way I treated people in my life because the day that he died, my mother was going through her first chemo treatment. And so here's my mother going through her first chemo treatment. And then that day that he died, I was at the TV station, and I was getting ready for our lunch because it was a new 24 hour news station starting in Philadelphia. And I remember getting so busy that day. I didn't call my mother to check in on her. I didn't call him that day. You know, I remember leaving early that morning. And you know, heading off to Philadelphia and, and I and I look back on it and I It made me reevaluate time and making sure you let people know how important they are. So now, because of that experience over 20 years ago, right, it's important for me to also make sure that people know how important they are. To me, it's important for me to make sure that people understand how much I am grateful for them. I have an amazing fiance, who is an incredible person and an incredible man, and just a phenomenal human. And there isn't an opportunity where I miss making sure he knows how much he means to me how much I love him. And that experience back when I was 25, has really put me in a position of valuing time, valuing purpose, and treasuring people.

Danielle Cobo  10:51  
So if there's one thing that we're already taking away from this conversation today is there's somebody out there, that as listeners you're thinking of, and you know who that person is. And when this episode is done, it is a matter of calling that person and reminding them how much they mean to you, and that you care about them. Because time, it can happen in an instant. And you never know when that is going to be in. So it's about cherishing every minute that you have.

Dr. Kortni Alston  11:19  
Absolutely so true. So well said it's you just, we never know. And that's the beauty of living in the present. And treasuring the people that we love and letting them know, right, letting them know how much we love and we cherish them.

Danielle Cobo  11:35  
Yeah. Well, you have a you are an assistant professor, and you got your PhD, and you are this happiness expert, happiness expert. So really going from a very tragic situation, and shaping you into who you are today, which is looking at life from a different perspective, a different lens. And so in your workshops, you teach, how to make your job a calling and value the important portion of purpose in your career, will you please elaborate on what it means to make your job your calling and your purpose?

Dr. Kortni Alston  12:10  
Absolutely. So when I was working on my PhD at the University of Florida, and my department was College of Journalism and Communication. And so when I was looking to really kind of fine tune some of my research and studies I stumbled on literally stumbled on positive psychology. And then I just felt like this, this this is this is my place, this is home. And so I started to dive in deeper and deeper. To make a long story short, I found the one of the leading scholars in positive psychology at the University of Florida. And yeah, his name is Dr. Ryan Duffy. And he served as my mentor and a member of my dissertation committee, and he teaches positive psychology at the University of Florida also has a great TED Talk, by the way, and he also has written the book make your job a calling, he's one of the leading scholars in meaningful work, and what I love so much in terms of all that I learned from him, and then also what I learned as relates to my own journey throughout the process of, of the the PhD, was really valuing having the value of the calling, being almost a transcendent summons, something that's bigger than yourself, right? The difference between a job, your career and a calling, right because you know, your job may be something that you're doing your career is something that you're you're leveraging in terms of maybe in terms of, you know, social or, you know, you know, capital in terms of your, you know, your your background, and in terms of what you're trying to share into the world in terms of your expertise. Well, your calling is something that can be, you know, is greater than yourself that you feel your calling could also be a combination of the work that you're doing within your industry, and then maybe work that you're doing outside of it, right. It's something that you feel called to do. Now for me, my calling blends, it is a combination of of what the work that I'm doing in the classroom, it's the work that I do as a scholar is the work that I do as an expert, sharing information with journalists all over the world and executives all over the world, in terms of training them as it relates to how they can leverage positive psychology in terms of workplace well being. But it can also be, you know, thinking about what it looks like on a part time level, there can be maybe it's a work that you're doing. I have a dear friend who you know, loves her work that she does within her church. You know But yet I have another dear friend who ironically enough will be on my podcast coming up this week on courting happiness, talking about the value of our self care squad that we have with each other. And she's a communications and public relations executive. And she talks about how you know, the work that she does, and also the other work that she's doing outside of that, that she feels called to do. And so there's so many different dynamics as relates to calling it can be in terms of the work that you're doing within an organization, or it can be the work that you're doing, you know, in terms of the volunteer work, or your nonprofit work or your work that you feel that is so mission driven, that you feel has given you just really a greater a greater sense of purpose. But for me, I will say, I feel like that my calling is something that I that is completely embodied me in terms of the work that I do at the university, and then also the work that I do as it relates to my public scholarship.

Danielle Cobo  16:09  
So what I'm hearing, and this is a new perspective that I've really gained over the past year, when I was in corporate America, it was that was my job, that was my career, this is what I was doing. And I really wasn't exposed to the different ways that my the legacy that I want to leave is making an impact and making an impact positive impact on somebody's life or multiple people's lives. And I wasn't truly maybe aware or exposed to the different ways that we can go beyond our immediate role to make an impact. And so some of the things that listeners if you're listening right now, and you're going, how do I do this, one of the things I've been getting involved in this past years, I'm now sitting on the advisory board for the Dallas professional women, and eat every month bunch of of the advisories. And I we coach and support women and are an advocate for women having a thriving career and how to have balance in their lives. And they ask us questions and we help, you know, respond to them and guide. And you can sit on a variety of boards and committees that are out there. So like you said, you can make an impact in your immediate role in the people that you interact with on a day to day basis. But you can also step out and above and beyond that, and join boards beyond podcast, write a book, whatever it is, there's so many different things that you can do. So to really explore beyond that, I'm getting involved in local organizations, as well, there's different ways that you can really find your purpose and find what excites you. And there's organizations and communities that you can get involved in.

Dr. Kortni Alston  17:46  
Absolutely. And it's interesting you say that, because my my fiancee is a reporter. He's a television reporter here in the Charlotte market here in the United States, and and I should say to Charlotte market in North Carolina, here in the United States. And it's interesting, because he has been a reporter for over 20 years. And what's so wonderful is that he also values being able to, you know, share information help the next generation of journalists. And so he's served on a board for a national journalism organization that we're both a part of is actually where we met, and how we met, I should say, and what's wonderful is the fact that he's a person that loves the work that he does as relates to sharing stories, and being able to provide information for the community, right. But then he also is able to really continue to build off his calling with the work that he's doing as a board member helping the next generation of journalists, or helping reporters, as relates to their advocacy in terms of serving, you know, as a champion for them or mentor for them. And so you're absolutely right, it's you can take your work. And it can be something that you can find yourself doing internally within your organization, or you can find yourself joining, as I mentioned with him, you know, a professional organization that you really value that you're actively serving, that really serves is serving the world, but it's also serving your soul. Right, because when we when we give back to individuals, and when we're operating on this level of of real true giving, it allows us to serve our soul in regards to being able to share, provide, and really be able to enrich someone's life so so I love that you're talking about the amazing work that you that you've done Danielle, and really how we can all be inspired to really think about what speaks to our soul to be able to help others too.

Danielle Cobo  19:55  
And I'm thinking too, there was actually a woman that had reached out to me on LinkedIn, and she ended up bringing me into her organization to do a speaking engagement. But this was an individual who was an individual contributor, not in a leadership type role. She stepped up as a leader and created this women and leadership group in her company, when so it's and keeping in mind for you listeners, what you may see as being something that sometimes we forget what our strengths are, sometimes we forget what comes naturally to us may not come natural to other people. It's a matter of you just stepping up and raising your hand and saying, Hey, I think there's this opportunity to create this group or mentorship program within our organization or step out and be involved in the community. But there's so many different ways that we can make an impact and it's very fulfilling when you get to share your expertise and help the like you said the the up and coming generation and guiding them and mentoring them and setting them up for success.

Dr. Kortni Alston  21:01  
Absolutely. Absolutely. I love that.

Danielle Cobo  21:05  
We'll be right back to today's episode. As a working mom, wife and mother to twin thrill seeking boys. I know firsthand what it feels like to be burnt out and feel overwhelmed. I had a hard time shutting my brain off at night. And during the day I was exhausted. That's why I shifted my lifestyle and started utilizing ketones into my daily routine. What I love most is that this is a drink versus a diet. Being a working mom, I wanted to find a solution that was simplistic to follow yet very effective. The benefits I found with increased energy, improved focus, mental clarity, better mood and sleep, and eliminated the cravings for carbs and sugars. Ultimately, fat loss. Start your 10 day challenge by going to dream job.challenge.com. You can also find the link in today's show notes and start with a savings of $31 off. Now back to today's episode. So how can we apply you being this positivity expert, which I'm just I love this. So how can we apply positive psychology to our everyday lives?

Dr. Kortni Alston  22:15  
Well, you know, I'm so glad you asked that question. And and I will say being a happiness scholar, one of the things that I love is being a part of the positive psychology movement, because positive psychology is all about the scientific study of how we really flourish as human beings or organizations. So for years, psychology will focus in on what's wrong with us. The beauty of positive psychology, it focuses on what's right with us what works, what how do we go about improving our lives or creating happier lives or fulfilling lives, or more meaningful work or whatever the case may be. And so I love being a part of positive psychology because it's also about sharing science with the world. And I think it's important to be able to share that because I think it's also a value of thinking about information that is evidence based, that you know, that has really been through understanding levels of research. But then also valuing the narratives are the stories of individuals that I really have been touched by it and have really been able to grow into flourish. So I so I love being able to share with individuals how to go about leveraging positive psychology, first I've always shared share with individuals with is thinking about what positive activities they love. So you know, like what increases like my positive emotions, right? Because this is great in terms of, you know, thinking about what brings you joy, what makes you happier, what experiences make you happier, right? For my fiance, and I wear a unique couple, because of our background in journalism, like we enjoy going out and, you know, recording or shooting, you know, stories or going out and, and, you know, looking at different places in terms of being able to have adventures there. And so we love being able to archive moments, and then we love being able to find new places. One of the things that we missed during the pandemic was our travel. So what is something? Yeah, it's it's, it's like.

Danielle Cobo  24:28  
Oh, I miss traveling, a suitcase every week to it being nice to be home and sleeping in my own bed. But then I also miss going on adventures.

Dr. Kortni Alston  24:38  
Yes, because traveling was such an adventure. At one point, Danielle, we would probably before the pandemic. We were traveling like every weekend either flying somewhere or doing a car trip or you know going to a different journalist event or you know the work that he's doing as a board member or could be You know, the work that I'm doing and in terms of my, you know, speaking, and so we would often hit the road. So that's something that we love doing, we have a couple that just loves being in the car, or loves being on the plane or loves going and walking around a city, and, and being so adventurous and then enjoying those moments with each other. So what though? What do those positive activities mean to you? So what are positive activities that speak to you in terms of either individually as a collective as partners, right, because it could be, as I just mentioned, as it relates to my fiance Ken and so also think about what else is something that maybe you haven't had a chance to do and some time that you find meaningful? You know, what is you know, it we just talked about travel, right? But I will tell you that I haven't I, this used to be my thing before the pandemic, and I look at my nails, and I go, Oh, gosh, I miss my nail guy. So what?

I just, I just missed him, I can't wait in a couple of months, I think I, I will, I will actually head back to the nail salon. But what is what is that thing that that feels that you are taking care of you? What is that place that you feel that it is replenishing you? I have a dear friend right now, who has gone and booked herself at this beautiful retreat for the next couple of days. So she can think about really resting, recharging and relaxing. So what is it for you like, for me, it was every, I guess it was I haven't done it in so long, I think it was every two to three weeks, I will be in a nail salon, you know, or you know, going to the spa, things I have not done during the pandemic. But now you might begin to think about what things that you can do. Right. And another thing is looking at positive emotions in regards to activities that will serve you that also speak to the science of positive psychology one of them that I talk about very often it's gratitude. And so, you know, I will say this before Danielle and I started talking I we had a wonderful conversation, we could have literally recorded the conversation we had just talking before the podcast. And when I sat there and such gratitude because I go, wow, I am so grateful that I have met this incredible woman who already here we are our second meeting together is already talking about how she wants me to take part in something. And then how how we just really connected how I just even shared with her that I have been suffering with some health issues. And I just had surgery and how welcoming she was. So to be present and to be grateful. For the moment opposed to Okay, well she and I just had a conversation, let me just move on by no is gratitude, there's so many scientific benefits, it helps lower stress, it also helps in regards to improving our sleep. So for individuals that say, you know, I'm having trouble sleeping at night, instead of counting sheep, start counting what you're grateful for, go back and reflect on these experiences that are positive in your life. Right, that allows you to really think about, you know, all of these good things that are happening to you. And and then also give me your chance and opportunity to reflect. So one more thing I'd also like to share about gratitude is this. And so when my fiance and I were long distance I one point I was working at a university in Georgia, and we were long distance for probably about a year or so Danielle, and we were probably about I can't remember I think 260 miles away from each other. Yes, I counted. That's when you that's when you know you're in love. You count the miles, you're like oh my gosh, and we were 260 miles away and we would see each other every weekend. But one of the things that I loved is that during the week, when we weren't together, that my fiance did something for me that I never saw anyone do, although it was an activity that I was already doing. So I have gratitude jars, and so opposed to writing in a diary or journal. I love to write in a grant. I love to write it down on a sheet of paper and put it in my gratitude jar. I'm a very visual person. I love it because it allows me to kind of see how much I I'm grateful for. And I just love being able to just to have that jar. So close by, he did something that was very unique. He knew that this is something I enjoy doing. He's witnessed me doing it. And so he decided to create his own gratitude jar while he was in Charlotte, and I was in, in Macon, Georgia. And he started to write down all of the things he was grateful for, in regards to me, or in regards to our relationship. And so when he gave this to me as a gift, and actually it was quite a few jars. And and, and so when we weren't together during the week, I would actually curl up on my couch. And I would actually look at all of these wonderful things that he was grateful for in terms of our relationship. So there's so much value in terms of thinking about what you're grateful for writing them down journal, you know, diary, my case, a gratitude jar, and then being able to give that as a gift to someone. And so I often give gratitude jars as gifts to friends. But I will say that there's so many benefits in terms of, of the value of really being mindful in terms of gratitude, but then also really being mindful as relates to what positive activities in your life, really help increase your well being, and allow you to really have a happier life.

Danielle Cobo  31:30  
Okay, so gratitude jar, I'm going to find a gratitude jar. And what I'm going to do is, I am going to start my morning with my boys and do something that we're grateful for, and put into the gratitude jar to make it part of this family, this family thing that we're going to start in the morning, because I love your idea, I love your idea.

Dr. Kortni Alston  31:50  
I love it. It's so interesting, you said that I have a dear friend of mine, who is a family activity, you know, and so and what she loves to do with the end of the year, so during like, you know, New Year's, and we're about to think about the following year, what she does is that they spent the night they spent an evening as a family reflecting she and her husband and their two boys. And so I think it's a wonderful, I love that you mentioned being so inclusive and having it as a collective, because it's such a wonderful experience of being able to be present, and to really value the things that have really served us or that we're grateful for. But it allows us to see the good in our life. And that's the beauty of gratitude, it really allows us to see an experience and also the savor the good in our lives.

Danielle Cobo  32:46  
Yeah, it's such a great reminder to really take a step back. And look at where we've come from and where we're at today. And to be grateful for some of the things, even some of the biggest challenges that have happened in our life, because it shaped us into who we are today. And, and also looking around it just the little things i i lay down on my bed often. And go, I'm so grateful for the house that I had, because I grew up in a very, I was a two bedroom apartment, my mom was a single mom and my bed was in the living room. And so to be in a situation where I own a home to be in a situation where I have a place to call home. It's something that I never really grew up with or imagined. And so it's something I'm always grateful for. And sometimes we just forget where life is common. Where is that today. And just to remind ourselves, because gratitude is definitely starting that day with with positivity.

Dr. Kortni Alston  33:45  
Absolutely. And I love that you have spent time honoring, you know, your your journey, because I think sometimes when we go through life, and we're high achievers, and we've achieved so much, we can often go to the next thing. But it's great to be able to honor how much and how far you've grown. Right. And so what I love so much about gratitude, and I love so much of what you just shared in terms of your journey. It allows you to really appreciate all of your achievements, all that you've learned. And I love to say this. I know sometimes we may say going through I love saying growing through the things that we've grown through our lives, and that we continue to learn that really allows us to really have a finer appreciation of the people or the things around us. And then also giving us a chance to really reflect and to really be grateful for the goodness in our lives.

Danielle Cobo  34:44  
It's interesting, you said that growing that growing because I was working on a post last night and it was there have been so many times in my earlier years where I'd say why does this keep happening? You know, why are these negative things keep happening to my life? And it's not until making that shift of going Well, how is this shaping me into the person that I get to be? 

Dr. Kortni Alston  35:03  
Hmm. I love that.

Danielle Cobo  35:06  
There's reasons why things happen as difficult as they may be as challenging as they may be, they shape us into who we are, they shape us into who we're meant to be. And they, if I didn't go through, or if we didn't go through some of the challenges that we've gone through in life, how would we be able to make the impact that we do now, you are able to go through becoming a widow, which is devastating, and to then be able to be that support system for other widows out there. And to be the advocate for them, and to be that shoulder to cry on, and everything that you get to be for them. But not to say that we, you know, obviously we want the people that are in our lives, we didn't want to lose them, there's always something in changing the mind that we are changing the way that we look at things.

Dr. Kortni Alston  35:56  
Absolutely. I love that what you share, because it's so important to be able to really shift the way we see things, right. As you mentioned, in terms of, you know, being a widow, and that really just shifted my whole mindset in regards to how I value time and how I value people, as I mentioned earlier, and it also allowed me to value when the goodness is in my life. So it's interesting, because when you tell people your happiness scholar, guys, people like want your happiness scholar and some people like Wow, your happiness or something like Oh, my goodness, you said happiness, like I have. I've had a range of how, how someone will respond to that. And some people will assume, because I am uh, you know, my area is in this and you know, and I focus on workplace well being and that they assume that I am happy 24 hours a day. And I'm like, No, I'm not happy 24 hours a day. But the value is what I do go through negative emotions, or I have adversity or some type of hardship. It makes me value the beauty when I have a good day, or I meet great people, or when I have wonderful experiences. But if I thought that when I have bad days, if I allow my bad days to continue to kind of shape my perspective is interesting. I remember when I remember when my late husband passed and I remember being at the funeral. I literally write a book, a book on the darndest things I've heard at the funeral. Because I get this like the so many different like some people of course, everyone the intention is not to harm right is a funeral. Most of us don't know what to say when someone passes away. But I remember a young woman who really didn't know me. And I remember she walked up to me and said, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about the loss. I'm so sorry that you lost Brian. I hope this doesn't make you bitter. And I and I remember that statement years ago. And and now as a happiness scholar and as a person has really done the work, you know, because one of the things that I treasured, even back then was having a therapist in my life that really helped me through my journey. And it's interesting that this young woman said, I hope it doesn't make you bitter. And I always thought wow, but I'm not a bitter person. But it was also some projection. It makes me wonder about maybe how she process because what it didn't do, it didn't make me bitter. It made me better. The loss made me a better human being. The loss made me a better friend to all the loss made me really value all that I have opposed to thinking about all that was missing. Did I grieve? Yes. Grieving, you know, is as it is, it is real, and is it is a roller coaster. But what it allowed me to do it allowed me to have this finer appreciation of life. So much so that almost 20 years after it happened. The day that my mother ended up dying because my mother died in 2016. She lost her battle with cancer in 2016. My late husband died in 1999. Right, so here I am literally at my mother's deathbed. And because of all of these experiences, I could treasure being there. I could treasure being able to say goodbye to her. I could treasure being able to make her laugh because I was comedian a little bit when she was just to make Smile, right? Because I love seeing your smile. And I just treasured, being present just being there, where sometimes we didn't say anything. But I think if I didn't have those other experiences that had me evolve to be a better human, that no, it didn't make me bitter. But it certainly made me better. Yeah.

Danielle Cobo  40:22  
Well, thank you so much for joining today. There's, I mean, I could we talked before getting on the podcast, I could talk, I could talk to you for hours. I've thoroughly enjoyed our conversation, I know that our listeners are going to take away a lot from here. And as we said earlier, there is somebody out there that you are thinking of, and after this episode, call them, text them, whatever it's going to take to just remind them what they mean to you and how you care about them. And I will go ahead and find a gratitude jar. I will put a link, Amazon everyone knows Amazon's my favorite. So I will put a link to the Amazon link in the show notes. So you something readiness. Oh.

Dr. Kortni Alston  41:04  
Actually, I'm so sorry. Interrupt. But actually, I have some gratitude jars that actually gratitude jars to say that you can find on my website. So feel free. 

Danielle Cobo  41:15  
I will include the link in the show notes. Thank you so much for interrupting.

Dr. Kortni Alston  41:19  
And I love giving as gifts to friends. So yes, certainly I welcome your community to, certainly to take a look and anything that I can do to serve please, please let me know. So I'm so sorry to interrupt because 

Danielle Cobo  41:33  
Oh, I'm so glad you did. And I was 

Dr. Kortni Alston  41:35  
you're so amazing.

Danielle Cobo  41:40  
Oh, well the feeling is mutual. So I will include the links on where you can find Dr. Kortni. I will include the links and also where are you to get her gratitude jar. And I would love to hear from you guys to what are some of the ways I post on social media to spread the word of what a gratitude jar and how it what it does for you and providing happiness in your life and always ask you to please write a review on this podcast. That really means a lot it helps show this episode in this podcast to other women out there who are looking to have a thriving career and abundant life. So thank you for joining and create an intentional day. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. To receive your free career accelerator and crush your quota workbooks with actionable steps on how to accelerate your career. Go to Daniellecobo.com. To learn more about my services, including keynote speaking, corporate workshops and one on one coaching. I invite you to go to my website, Danielle cobo.com and schedule a call with me. And one last favor to ask. The best compliment is a review. Please take a quick minute to share on iTunes or Spotify why you enjoy tuning into the dream job Danielle Cobo podcast. Thanks for tuning in and create an intentional day.