¶ Karaoke Night With Friends
We did something fun last night .
Yes , what I loved is no one pressured me to go up there because I hate karaoke , I hate singing it .
We went to karaoke with the no Gays in Montana crew and had a blast .
And everyone sang so well .
Literally , it was mind-blowing . They talked about doing karaoke on their podcast . It was mind blowing . They talked about doing karaoke on their podcast and that's what inspired me to reach out to them to say let's all get together and do like a group podcast um happy hour situation . But I didn't know that they , like could sing like that .
I just felt like , um , we were with our people you know all of it very like theatrical , like improv , like based conversations that just kind of , like you know , went nowhere and everywhere truly and like people would just like someone would come over and talk to the other person mid-conversation .
They'd get up and go and there was like no , like no , I need to stay and talk , or no ?
I'm so sorry , I'll be back and then we just pick it up where it left off , and I love those kind of conversations .
Who for you rank them in order , not even just .
Oh , I like that person , everyone that was there .
No , I want to know the tea I want you to like , but it doesn't have to be like . Oh , I like that person's voice . The the song . Oh got it so a combination , because they could have been an awful singer , but the song meant a lot .
I thought you meant like based on their personalities , or something like rank everyone .
I do want to start doing that , like when I'm in friend groups , is okay . An activity like who do you like the least here and everyone goes around .
Actually , okay , before I went to , we went to karaoke together . I went to a garden party and I didn't know anyone except for the person that invited me and as I was leaving he said , out of all the people that you met today besides me , obviously like who did you like the best ? And I was like I can't answer that question .
I think legally you can because he doesn't have a recording device can I know ? I'm not going to know who it is . I know , but I want to start the drama I'm going to post .
I'm going to add them on the Instagram .
It was his , his roommate , yeah .
Oh , his roommate , that was there .
Similar . I enjoyed his um vibe our conversation oh okay , and see , I don't think it's like do you have to ?
because I'm in such an odd position and you know as my shirt says hungover and vulnerable yeah , but I'm don't think you're getting away with putting them in order .
Continue your story . Oh yeah , I'll go back , but it seemed like it was a lot of like older gay men and younger gay men . Oh , and you were like , not the hot commodity being in the middle . No , I think I was the hot commodity .
You were considered the young , oh yeah .
And by older I mean like 60 plus . Okay , and then by younger I mean you know 30s , 20 to 30 . Oh , I was thinking like 18 to 21 , like twink twink no not that kind of party okay , oh , the father's day party .
Party , that's a great idea oh my gosh .
Yeah , that would be great .
You only bring like day themed daddies and twinks who like that , because not all have to like that , but and then you should throw a party like that . Uh yeah , because , honestly , if you shave your face , you're I mean , you are , you are a twink even though you're oh my gosh maybe you're a twas or twold or twistabin what the hell like a twink .
I haven't heard most of this , yeah like old twink twa okay now let's rank them Go ahead .
I was like , let's bring this back .
Okay , okay , performances Got to go with Jordan's you and I by Lady Gaga .
¶ Karaoke Night Performances Ranking
I mean , it was the best I felt God in that building ?
Yeah , it was yeah . She just has an incredible voice and she knows how to use it .
And face Like yeah , she just has an incredible voice and she knows how to use it . And face like she's just as she's a performer oh , she's in there Like she can feel it . She could sing to me like a bounty commercial and I'm like sobbing yeah , fabulous . She worked the crowd Bounty quicker . Pick her up Bounty .
How'd I do ? Did you feel it ?
You didn't get the face . I wasn't there , I actually might buy other things other than brown tea . Okay , so number two .
Okay , number two I would say was Pink Pony Club , or no , not Pink Pony Club . Red Wine Supernova .
Who sang that ? Again , there was two of them right .
Isaac and Phil their performance yeah they have clearly done this performance before and , yeah , they've nailed it , so that was great . Oh my gosh , I mean , david's Sex is on Fire .
The comedy , or is that the one he kept like I'm going to do crowd work ? And then he came out and he's like thanks for coming . Come here often everyone .
Oh yes , that was good . Yeah , which personality was that ? It was his show , come here often everyone .
Oh yes , that was good . Which personality was that ?
In that order . I like that . What about you ?
I missed Opportunity for me because Jordan also loves Kid Rock's Jail Crow picture . I just could not get drunk enough , which is odd because I was pretty hungover this morning , because I think after we left the karaoke bar I turned it up a notch , I guess . Oh God , I love this song so much . But honestly , jordan's up there .
But I'm going to go with since you ranked them , and I kind of agree with that order . I think I'm going to go with who shocked , or who maybe not even the song or the personality the most . Who shocked me the most , I think , was Ariel .
At the beginning With Eenie .
Meenie by Sean Kingston . And the whole . When I say the whole club or wherever we were , we were the club . Basically there was us and then background people . Everyone was vibing and I loved it .
Wheneverieber does his rap part oh , you sang the whole rap part like backstage honestly , that concert , it sounds kind of cringe .
When I was all shonkingson live here at the crocodile it was fucking great wait . Why is that cringe ? Uh , because a lot of people were like what ?
Who . He was great when he was big .
Oh my God , yeah , yeah . And it was a little odd , though , because I could tell he was getting into it . He had drank half of his water bottle and then slung the water out on us .
Didn't I spit some water at you last night ?
Where Was it here ?
No , we were sitting at the table you sure did . I was like I need to get your attention .
It couldn't be . Hi , caleb , what's up ? No , honestly though , an honorable mention would be you at the house . Before we left that song you were singing , and those high notes . Savage Garden , those high notes and I high notes , and I told you those jesus praying hands you had . You were hitting that no and I was like someone was trying to talk to me .
I said I'm listening to a performance hold on wonderful I knew I loved you by savage garden yeah , I don't know that song , but all it says is I knew I loved you .
Like 90 of the song yeah , yeah , but everyone was into it yeah , but
¶ Navigating Relationships and Openness
it was actually really fun .
To you know , network with another podcast like us is like a part of it consider that networking . I mean yeah , but it didn't feel like it at all .
Yeah , I I .
That word networked like never crossed my mind well , no , because I think that's what people like . If we were to like when we shouted them out , or if we were to like do something crossover with them , it would be kind of networking , but it didn't feel like that at all .
It felt like we have been friends forever , which is very odd , especially in Seattle .
Yeah right , you do not expect , I mean just in Seattle and like no shade to the gay community , but like a lot of people can , can be a little distant at first anyway , yeah , but everyone was just so open and excited , like accepting and like chatting and not just like I'm good , how are you I hung out with them a couple of times but really like you and
David met them like once at at neighbors . Yeah .
Yeah , um . So welcome back to season two of Unfamously Unwell . I'm Kyle , a resident food and wine expert and ex-psychology researcher , and Caleb is our hospice nurse turned crafting queen , southern Mama . This season we're continuing on our wellness journey , because the truth of wellness is that the work is never done .
David , however , has reached his nirvana and is working on some other exciting projects , but don't worry , he'll be back now and again to check in and make sure that our weekly vices are not overtaking our victories .
Truly oh my God . Imagine like he just listens to it and he like listens to the vices and he just like I think it's time that I come back on for an episode . Well , he does live with us and he will listen to it and he like , listens to the vices and he just like .
I think it's time that I come back on , for well , he does live with us for an episode . He will listen to it , so he's gonna be like guys .
Those vices were bad or what I love is just like the y'all are fake as fuck , because I saw y'all doing this and I don't know why that was not a vice yeah , why was that not a vice ?
and I would love that .
Yeah , I'm sure he'll give us lots of feedback I , which I'm open to , but I won't promise that I will enact it .
Oh yeah yeah , that's like all feedback .
That's why wellness is a journey , truly yeah and to think we pay for that in therapy .
Um , but yeah , welcome back to season two yeah , so buckle up for another season of laughter , tears and vulnerability with unfamously unwell , the , the podcast hosted by two Seattle homosexuals on a journey to higher health .
I love that . I love that . Yes , we are still gay . If that was a question , we are still homosexual and I don't plan on giving it up anytime soon .
No , that's not one of my advices this week . Oh no , I mean same . So what are we going to talk about this week ?
I think that which you and I I don't think we've ever really like revisited it um , like in person or even in conversation , like how we know each other , how we met , like it's briefly , we've told everyone , but never like it was only like after we had actually already met .
Then we started becoming like friend , friends the reason that I do know you is because I'm friends with your ex yeah yeah , and I met you through him right , and my ex is also like good friends with your ex yeah , but honestly , I think we're all on like good terms , which is very shocking , for especially when there's it's not just like a I have one ex that
you're friends with and that's it , but it's like right kind of vice versa .
I also like uh , I'm friends with your ex's ex-husband , okay yeah yeah , and I like , was in sonoma while all of this stuff was going down and I was like what the hell is happening and what am I like coming back to , like all of my like friend , dynamics have changed and like I don't really know what to go into expecting or what to expect going into it .
Who is this whore Caleb , and where did he come from ?
Yeah , yeah , do you want to like kind of explain like why you call yourself a whore in this situation ?
Well , let the record show that I did call myself , that I . I'm not even going to go into too much personal details about them , but are any of my impact ? Basically , I met someone playing softball and we just kept hitting it off and connecting with no true intention .
And then he was married .
Yes , which I learned about actually when we took a little .
He was married , yes , which I learned about actually when , like when we took like a a little bit of a break from communicating , just because I was like I kept myself at a very safe distance for the longest time , yeah , and then trying to navigate that afterwards was tough , but , um , yeah , so I was friends with the both of them and you know , some things
just happen and I know this is going to paint me to be a really bad person but the thing about it is is , at the time I never had to explain it to people , just because they could just meet us when we're together and they were just . It would just make a lot of sense . But they were in an open relationship yeah , so open marriage ?
yeah , yeah , truly , and you had a connection with one of them .
Yeah , and but it was very . He challenged me a lot to like grow like , like it wasn't just , like , you know , only sex , it's like oh great , this is wonderful , let's just keep doing that . Yeah , we had a lot of fun .
We were very both goofy and I mean , and you were like going on vacations together and you know , yeah , like going on vacations together and you know yeah , meeting each other's families , and it was .
Yeah , I'm reflecting on that a lot , and you know what I do honor that , the term whore , because it's very , very fitting but , um , but , like .
What I'm saying is like you had a relationship with this person you know , that was outside of what I would consider the norm in a open relationship Like you almost were in a throuple in a certain or a polycule , A polycule .
I was a poly moly . Yeah , I mean that's true , but it's .
It's awful because when , like describing that , like if it's black and white outside , looking in , it does look very much wrong and , like I , there's things I could have done better or handled differently , but at the same time , I kept my emotional distance enough to where I didn't cause or my intentions .
That was not my motive , um , it just happened to be the outcome .
Yeah Well , like , coming from also being in an open relationship and in my most you know , recent relationship , what I can say and hopefully this helps ease your mind and makes you feel less of a whore is that when you're in a committed relationship , whether that's open or not , third parties that come in and out of that relationship whether that's friends or , you
know , if you're open , other romantic partners those people don't cause cracks in the relationship . They highlight the cracks that are already there .
Yeah , you know what I mean . Relationship . They highlight the cracks that are already there . Yeah , you know what I mean , and it's tough when I think a lot of times it's they don't even necessarily go on to date the person that caused their cracks , or it's very short or whatever .
A lot of times it could be distracting or like , oh , even if it doesn't highlight it . It's like I know that there are cracks , but this is kind of not this dynamic , doesn't have them . And it can be very like not acknowledging cracks .
I'm just going to lean into this dynamic , yeah , which we did not even intentionally meant to go down this rabbit hole , but I it's something that I'm very cognizant of now and I think that it could have been a lot of foreshadowing to the dynamic and relationship , because if someone is dating someone and , like you're the person that they're leaning towards , I
think that it um , what you're saying is the experience that you had being with someone that was married and then dating them afterwards .
You should have known that it wasn't going to turn out the way that it ended up turning out because of the way that you met I don't .
Yeah , I mean , I agree with that , but I don't think that's what I necessarily meant . I think that it it could have never worked out because of the amount of pressure of like we weren't even like officially dating until a while after that started . The breakup happened , like we were obviously emotional and whatever with each other .
But what do you mean by the foreshadowing ? If you're already ? It would be different if that happened , like if someone had gotten divorced and then they started dating , versus like trying to keep navigate whatever type of situation that is like it's never going to work out because obviously they're mourning something that just happened .
And then I have to be aware enough to be like , yes , you , you know , because getting a relationship , you don't get in a relationship someone who hasn't moved on from someone , right .
So , like that , the complexity of all of that and how I think it was difficult and a lot of pressure to put on , like people just first dating in general , yeah , I don't think it could have worked out because of navigating that , but it taught me a lot of insight to how I would handle it more .
Yeah , if I ever got myself in a sticky situation like that again , do you plan on that happening ? No , but I didn't plan on this happening , but honestly though , thank God it did that . I you know .
I don't regret it . If you did plan on it then I think you'd be a whore .
Yeah , I don't regret it because , honestly , it brought people like you into my life .
But I want to hear which gets back to the original question how do we know each other ?
I know that that friend group had such probably a viewpoint on me . Let me tell you and then , like it was already an uphill battle , trying to like befriend these people because I'm like they think negatively of me and like you didn't really have any friends here because you were new in town , right ?
so I definitely heard stories about you before moving .
Was it about my great sense of humor ? Was it this bad ass ? Like what ? Was it ? No ?
It was kind of like we're not so sure about this Caleb person . I think everyone they knew your ex and they knew your ex's husband at the time yeah and they were part of the friend group yeah and so I think everyone had a lot of like trepidation around , like you know what's going on in this polycule , or whatever you want to call it .
Yeah , this dynamic relationship that's happening , and so I think there yeah , I got a lot of like you're just gonna have to come and experience it for yourself , like um , but I think everyone was like oh , we're not so sure about this person , because just from the situation itself , yeah , but they did say that you are like hilarious oh my god , yeah , and just
had like a lot of energy I did get a couple like he's a lot I mean that makes sense .
It is overwhelming trying to not like I just moved here and I , and again , it's not about age , but even just being at least a decade older than a majority of everyone , but then , like , life here is so different and people are so educated and people are so I'm not saying that people back home aren't , but it's just as a different vibe and exposure and just
knowledge and just understanding and so all those things and trying to navigate into a friendship was it was really tough . Yeah , um and by and not being self-conscious of it , which I was a lot about , like in friend settings , because all of these things separately can be a lot , but like combine them all it .
Yeah , it's overwhelming , to say the least yeah , but what I to close out on that , uh , just that situation . Then we can move on about you know us and other things . It was actually kind of nice because I did get to see you know the ex-husband at the pride party you took me to , oh yeah , and we hugged and like just kind of chit-chatted yeah .
Were you worried when you ran into him .
No , because he's always so kind . He is so kind , so that's the blessing of all of it . Everyone is no one's immature or hateful or ill-intented by anything in that friend group , but it was just nice for me just to For us to exist in the same place and it not be awkward or weird . Yeah , you know I .
Before we moved in together , I had a conversation with your ex just to be like , hey , this is probably going to happen , like how do you feel about it ?
And I didn't really get to have the talk with her , his ex-husband um , until I saw him it was at a party and I just like pulled him aside and I was like , hey , I would like love to have this conversation with you .
I'm like sorry that it didn't happen earlier , but , um , I just want to make sure that , like you know that how much I care about you and that I know that this can be like a tough like thing . Um , but I want to like create the space to like talk about it .
And he was just like gave me so much like grace , you know , and was like I I get it like you're going through a breakup too , and you have to , you know , do things that are best for you . And anyways , moral of the story is he's a sweetie , sweetie can we just talk about
¶ Navigating Relationships and Supportive Friendships
how ?
also you not , it's not even just between two people , there's three people involved and all three different experiences of that and you are still like really good friends with all three and navigating that , yeah , is is tough and you're , but , but I like the way of you , like proact , like you're bringing it up instead of whether you know they're like well , there's
no point talking about it , but then like they just act or treat differently , like I think that you doing that you you're having grown , adult conversations that are tough and navigating them , that um , people feel seen and heard and you're not ever giving a vibe to my perception , either one of them , that you're you like one more than the other , or that , like
you know talking shit about one to the other person or anything like that .
Yeah , I'm not about the drama , oh meanwhile I'm here .
I was like pick your least favorite yeah .
Pick your favorites , oh my .
God , okay , so pick your favorite of the three . No , I'm teasing , I'm so teasing . Imagine that would be so fucking hilarious it wouldn't be . You , bitch , I mean truly . I mean you've known me the least amount of time and we're the ones that are cohabitating . Yeah , yeah , okay , um , yeah , that's kind of how we met was through that sticky situation .
Yeah , um , but then we still weren't ever like friends , like we were in the same friend group but like , right , we didn't like text or anything . But I do remember , um , was it the back to school party , that or no ?
it was that new year when I drove you home , there was like a moment for me was when it kind of like shifted in my head I don't know why exactly , but your ex actually you know who I'm also good friends with was like , uh , caleb is having like a hard time like adjusting and like meeting new people , and like it would really mean a lot to me if you
like gave him a shot , you know like gave him a chance and like spent some time with him , or like you know when , whenever you see him , like have a conversation with him . And so I did , and I was like , wait , wait .
I actually like really like this person yeah , because honestly I could and I could interact with the friend group before then .
But then actually when the divorce stuff started happening or conversations , I felt like just , and it was no one made me feel that way , I just it was a lot of pressure on my brain of like I have to prove to people that I am a good person . Oh my gosh that pressure .
Yeah , and share who I am and it honestly it was a lot and I think it affected a lot of like muting a lot of my personality and things like that because I was just so stuck in my head .
Yeah , I mean , how can't I like totally resonate with that ?
Because I felt the same way going through my breakup and knowing that the end was coming , and feeling like I couldn't even like show up at like social events as myself you know , or the best version of myself , and not even wanting to go because I'm like my head is in a different space and like I know that I'm not going to show up the way that I want to
and like I know that I'm not going to show up the way that I want to , and so I almost was like maybe I just shouldn't . And so when you're saying like yeah , you have to like have all of those pieces going in your mind all at once is so hard .
Yeah , and I don't think you're the only person he had a conversation with , because whenever Brian , one of the owners of this house , he uh also reached out to me about buying him a birthday gift uh , the cricket , and oh yeah , him and I we crafted here actually , um , before they moved and we moved in , and he kind of shared the similar things he was like
about , like um your ex reaching out to him yeah , I don't think he didn't mention it , but I could . I think I could . I could tell the increased effort from other people , I think , and how he shared , you know , similar , like people are like the friend group they're gonna be . You know , feel some kind of way about this boy .
Yeah , and he was just so respectful and kind and he was like I just want you to know that he'll be speaking for him in austin , like we . I just want you to know that he was speaking for him in Austin , like we're choosing to get to know you as Caleb and who you are , and not the drama that's why he's my best friend .
Oh , he's so lovely yeah and so it's like just kind , but like thoughtful in a way , like not just lovely , like if you just run in to someone or like you're at an event , like reaching out or touching base or connecting . It was it was . It was very , very helpful navigating that last summer .
Yeah well , that's how we know each other yeah , and is that more ?
than you thought you'd share today um , yeah , because I feel like we talked about it a lot , but what I love about it is I'm not afraid to talk about it because there's no ill intention between me , but what you're sharing , or anything like that , yeah , and it's just being authentic and genuine .
Yeah , and I guarantee you I'm not the only person that has gone through this or will ever go through it . Um , and so you know what ?
maybe this is the episode for um whores and foundation if you had to like give yourself a piece of advice a year ago , what would you say to yourself ?
honestly , and I know it's gonna just be yourself regardless , because no matter if you're there and someone's gonna think or say something , being yourself or not being yourself , that's still going to happen .
So even if they were to say something or someone was to mention something , yeah , it would suck , it would hurt , but me being in my head , overthinking it doesn't prepare me for that .
Does that ?
make sense . That was a lot of words . My piece of advice would just be you and genuinely mean that , because if someone's going to say something , they're going to say it , regardless if you're being yourself or not . What do you mean by if they're going ?
to say something like bad no , like just like , yeah , like yeah , like the pressure of like I went into situations like I almost had to like sell myself to people like I already know they already have this preconceived notion of me because they don't know me , but no one ever actually treated me that way .
So I would just be like , just show them to yourself , be yourself and fuck them if they don't like you . Yeah , because you're just being yourself . Yeah , yeah , I'm glad that you took it and summarized it , that's literally like our relationship in a nutshell it's like god you talk for like five minutes and then I say in like 17 words yeah or less or less .
Yeah , that's seven , seven words , but yeah so that's how we met .
But then , not long after I had no , that was last summer and then I kind of went through , like you know , I was hanging out with people in like big friend group settings , and then I had messaged you was it in January of this past year , when I was like , hey , I would really like to hang out soon . Would you like to go out ?
And you were like , well , we booked that Saturday . And you were like , oh , like you , and you said I can invite you . Know , my then partner at the time and I was like really trying to make the intention of you know , making one on one time and friend groups outside of that which we booked and then we do the um .
it was when we went out um , uh , to massive for your breakup thing for my brain .
Oh yeah , because then you ?
texted me the night before , the morning of and you're like hey , just to let you know what you're getting into , right , yeah , yeah , which I had already heard about it . And I was like , do I go , do I cancel ? Like do I need ?
to be like look . So Caleb and I already had plans to hang out , like he had reached out a couple of weeks before , and then , a couple of days before we were going to go out , I broke up with my ex , and so then I was texting Caleb saying , just so you know what you're getting yourself into .
This is going to be like a post breakup probably cry and read tarot cards and then get drunk and go to a gay club but you picked such good people . Lindsay was there .
Lindsay from .
Peace , love , local love her she did a lot of the tarot reading yeah , and it was just .
But it was so nice because it wasn't like a F you to him , because it wasn't like a fu to him or it wasn't a um , like let's eat ice cream and watch this movie . Like it was like forward moving yeah , does that make sense ?
Like you were , it was like , okay , yes , you were , you're going through a challenge , but this next terror card shows what you're going to experience next , and like there's a lot of like positivity , yeah yeah , in the midst of , you know , chaos and disorder yeah , and meanwhile you and I and I'm not really close to the other two people I'm sitting there like ,
okay , we can do hard things , caleb and I was like I just need a fucking pellegrino truly .
And I was like I just I was just like maybe you know what , reaching out to whatever you text me , I was like maybe that's not the one I want to connect with right now yeah yeah , like this is about me and now it's not , and so fuck me , but it ended up being so fun and Lindsay and I actually talked about this yesterday whenever I saw her .
That night was so fun because it all felt like we were all like rating on the same wavelengths mentally and like kind of you know , like those people you know you don't really go to for self help or self talk or positivity or like talking things out , but it felt like everyone there was on that same level .
Yeah , Well , I felt like that because I felt like everyone was showing up for me , you know , and just like there to support me , and so I think there was a common thread was like make sure Kyle has a fun day or fun night , and I had a lot of fun , yeah .
And then I was like , okay , you know what we met ? He's crazy . We met through someone else's breakup and then we started being friends through your own , yeah . And then , you know , a couple of weeks later you and I started hanging out even more because I was going through one Right . Although we literally have lived like what ?
Five blocks from each other the majority of the time . Yeah , yeah .
So that's Then you started helping me with crafting , and oh yeah , all that stuff , but the other thing that I wanted to talk about is our trauma bond , because we had , like you know , breakups within a couple weeks of each other . So I think , that really solidified things .
But then it really wasn't until you like shared your coming out story that I realized that we had like a lot of like childhood trauma overlap in , like the sense that like I didn't know my dad growing up and you don't really have a relationship with your biological dad right , yeah , it was weird because a separate night when we went to the Veronica's , that's
when we really connected about that , because you were sharing about like your dynamic with your parents and and I was , and I was like no wonder you're feeling the way that you do because of what you went through previously , and it was just so easy it was .
It was equally as healing like talking about it , because I was like there's a lot of similarities , yeah , so , um , what was your first impression of me when you actually knew me as not the whore ?
oh , my gosh . Um , let's see . I guess my first impression was that you were a lot and the things that I had heard were true in regards to that . But like you were like this little , like bundle of energy and I was like , okay , is there more beneath that surface ?
Like , is the that um , energetic , like high vibrational , like maybe a little too high for me sometimes ? Um , is there something else like beneath that ?
You know , and I was intrigued and the more that I got to know you , I was like , okay , yeah , there's , there's a reason why , you know , you come across like that and you're going through a lot and you want to show up the best that you possibly can , and maybe that's like a pendulum swing in one direction where you're like I , I'm like hurting on the inside
, but I don't want anyone to see it , so I'm going gonna act like , like nothing's hurting , you know and yeah . So then I got to know you and I was like , yeah , there is more you know underneath the surface than just a fun-loving goofy guy um my first impression of you .
I would love to get yeah , please , you're always so nice , but you're like in kind and compassionate with everyone and I just I didn't know where I stood with you , so I was always very much like uh , kept a distance , like with things I would share , or like I honestly gave you the same type of energy I gave everyone else .
I'm like I'm being my fun self , but like I didn't let them see anything else because I wanted to fill you out . But , um , you were a very kind , supportive , loving person and my favorite quality is that you can make someone feel like they're the most important person in the room when you're talking to them , even if it's filled with 100 people .
Yeah , so that's my first impression .
Wait that is like such a good compliment .
Wow , thank you , you're welcome . Yeah , and you do it so well , and it doesn't even come across as like tell me what's going on in your life and like sorry , I'm sorry , I'm in the middle of conversation . Like you , you do it just what's not , doesn't even seem like that's the goal or the intention yeah , yeah , because I also know how to read someone .
Yeah , and I do .
I do love putting someone down I mean , one of my favorite memories is at the , the birthday party that you were in charge of doing ,
¶ Navigating Relationship Dynamics
there was a roast roast . At the end I was like this is wonderful . Oh , yeah , for my my ex yeah , which I crafted a lot for , but I I mean , I didn't even know anyone well enough to read anyone .
So I didn't say anything , it was great .
I love a good roast Truly , oh my God , we should let's . One thing I still don't understand about you . What is it ? Or that you would want me to know , or kind of open-ended that I think it would ?
be that you've never really seen me in like a romantic relationship before .
Truly yeah .
Yeah , I mean you saw me like at the tail end of my relationship with my ex , which was like quite tumultuous oh my god , that's a big word for MO and I knew that one , I knew that definition Wow .
I would love , like for you to see me in that space , because I feel like I really do thrive , you know , in those moments where I'm making someone else feel like they're the only person in the room and a whole like other side of me like comes out . That's like so romantic and just like loving and giving and like such a like caretaker .
You know , oh yeah , and I feel like not all of those things . If you let them get to , like psychologists call them like basement behaviors but like , if you are like really positive , right , that could be like a big strength , right . But if you allow like the basement behavior to overtake that , then you could become like naive , right .
So like being a caretaker , sure , that's great to be like loving and giving and caring , but if it's at the expense of , like you know , your own happiness or what have you , and the reason I say I would love for you to see that side of me , for you to be happy in a relationship , okay no , no , that's what you want me to see .
No is because , like , I feel like you really like understand me and I think that you would have some really good pointed feedback to be like kyle , you're letting this basement behavior like take over . You know , like you can't continue to like give all of this energy of yours away if you're not getting it back .
And it would , I think , help me kind of like check in on my own vices , if you will .
You know what I mean , yeah , and honestly , I think it is a unique perspective because a lot of your friends knew you for a long time in a relationship and now that you're out of it so I don't think they collectively know you as the whole person , but I mainly know you from not being in one , so I think I would notice a bigger shift of like oh , your
relationship , Okay now . This is what I'm noticing but I'm also because I've noticed things before . Uh , whenever you're like you before you had talked about like I'm like okay , I'm interested in going on this date with this guy .
On that Saturday , I was like I'm gonna read you because you wouldn't be mentioning it if you weren't excited , right , yeah , so like brutally honest .
That's , yeah , one of the things I love about you the most .
Yeah , and I'm very perceptive and so I think especially like if you're in a relationship , it'd be like , yeah , okay , so you're saying you're happy , why ?
don't you play the piano in six weeks ? Exactly . Yes , that's what I'm saying , 100% , that's what I'm saying yeah , I could do that pretty well , I think .
And , like I said , now your foot's in front of me but I love that this is cut off so it comes . No free foot content , Nope . Well , first off , I just want to say I appreciate that you shared your perception because a lot like you know , from getting to knowing me until now , because I knew all these people probably felt similarly .
But I just what I could just tell people is please , just like , just show up and just see me , and you've always done that and I really appreciate that .
And out of all the situations that I've been enthralled in , yeah , I will say that I don't know if it's like a strength of mine , but it's maybe that I tend to not trust other people's opinions until I experience it myself and like that's just how I've like always been .
Maybe it's that I like grew up with people who like presented themselves as like having a lot of money and like being really fancy and you know wine , country and stuff , and then like even as a child , like being able to like see through that like bullshit and see that like they're really not that fancy , they just drive a fancy car right so I've always kind
of had that perception that like , unless I can get in there and start like unpacking you know all of the things inside to figure it out for myself , then I'm not going to like take someone else's opinion as truth .
And you know , until I am able to do that , I love that , because also , not only does it , sometimes , they're right , you know .
I mean right yeah but also it gives you the opportunity , because I think that if someone gives you an opinion about someone and then you go and experience them and you're like they're not like this at all it gives you a lot of insight of the you're already you're already a friend and like exactly the way their brain works and like oh so they .
This was just ill intent with what they were sharing . You know what I'm saying .
What would you warn my partner about me If I was dating someone ?
Honestly , how do I say this ? You know I'm not going to . What's my toxic trait ?
It's not even that . Besides , I take your family recipes and try to make them better .
Which let the record show um Every craft thing I made you try you've enjoyed , but anyway , that's going to go down on a tangent .
Yeah , I know , but let's go on this tangent for a second , because he made ramen the other day and he put a craft cheese single .
And I'm putting that on the social media In the ramen .
And it was actually pretty good . I'm glad you're putting this on record Because I want everyone who gave me hell about it yeah , this is a food and wine critic critic it was kind of like turning ramen , mixing ramen with mac and cheese , and I I feel like that's kind of your mo when it comes to making new foods .
It's like I'm gonna make spaghetti with mac and cheese and that's payday spaghetti and I'm gonna make , you know , ramen with craft sink , craft cheese singles , and now you're mixing ramen and macaroni and cheese . And what did you have yesterday at um karaoke ?
Macaroni and cheese . Macaroni and cheese . It was greasy but three people tried it and they're like oh my God , that looks disgusting .
And I it looks disgusting and I was like try it first .
And that's one thing about me my standards are set very low with food yeah , and so I'm gonna try it and it was wonderful , okay , so what's your advice for your future partner ?
I would even say it's your toxic trait , I think , knowing gay people in general , the ways you show up for people , I I would want them to know that it doesn't mean that you're like latching on too quickly or that it means more than what it is , and so this is going to make sense , like the idea when someone that you were chatting with was sick and you
went and delivered them cookies , and I think you know , in any other scenario , any other person would be like , wow , that person's trying really hard and they're it , you , and it never comes across that way , but like you're just doing it because you're kind and thoughtful . So that's what ? If ?
Like , let's say , if you were talking to someone that I was really good friends with , it's like , and they're like isn't this a lot of like ? No , it's coming from a genuine . I'm going to prove to you that .
I want to show up and do this . It's not about reciprocity for me , yeah .
But you do it in a way that you're just being genuine and thoughtful and not like , oh , he's sick , this is going to mean a lot to him . I'm going to do this , so he's going to want me . You don't want anything out of it , you're just like . I just want that person to be taken care of .
I also just wanted to make cookies , so I had some you love finding an excuse to do something .
I know .
I'm not going to make them for myself , but I will make them for a sick friend , you know , and then I'll enjoy some of them as well .
Yeah , because any of the other things that I'm like would want to learn some of them about , or actually like skill sets or good things that not necessarily to me , because , like when you plan in a proactive so far in advance , which I I couldn't do , it's very off-putting which could . This just shows you have your life together .
Like am I supposed to warn someone that , like he's always on top of shit ? Like not always , um , because you than you I mean truly , you're preparing . You already started all this prep work for our house . For me and I'm like girl , we still got weeks .
I'm gonna do this the day before it's a truly for our housewarming and I'm like girl , we still got weeks . I'm going to do this the day before it's a truly tiki housewarming party .
It's gotta be , you know , off the chain .
That's true , but also the amount of like peace you bring yourself by doing that . Oh absolutely I'm so envious , but not envious enough to enact it .
Gotta check things off sooner the better .
Truly Okay . Before we go into victory , advice the last question . Where is it ? Oh , what's one piece of advice you have for me regarding my love life ?
Are we going to do it for each other ?
I'll give it back to you .
Okay , I don't know if this is an answer for you or if it's like advice I'm giving myself , because maybe it's applicable to both .
¶ Navigating Self-Worth in Relationships
But I think it would be to like never let someone else dictate the value that you have for yourself .
Yeah , yeah , yeah yeah , because it's like really easy to get like tied up your own self-worth , tied up in how well the relationship is going , or like how much you're connecting with this person or you know whatever , and like I think you know this we've talked about it on the podcast before but when you're thinking about that , that's when you are functioning at
your worst , because you're like putting so much pressure on your , your relationship and your . And when your own self value is tied up into the relationship , then it . Then , if one little thing goes wrong , then you see yourself in a different light .
Right , and relationships are hard , no matter what , and things are going to go south and hopefully they'll recover afterwards , but you can't let things like that dictate how you feel about yourself .
I think it's advice for both of us , because I'm not even going to give you that piece of advice because I think that's so fitting , yeah , but also because I think we got to kind of experience it firsthand .
You know , right after both our breakups , and I mean you bounce back a lot better than I did , but I was better at it before because I think each time you go through a breakup you handle things better and differently and emotionally . But I don't think that you , a lot of people , haven't experienced me and my authentic bubbly , just this creative fun space .
Because I'm finally getting back there , because I did a hundred percent do that , yeah , and it's never like , uh , it'll be nice because moving forward , like we have each other to call each other out for it , but a lot of my close friends and stuff I just , you know I wasn't seeing a lot of them , I wasn't working at the hospital with them anymore and then
they're all back home , so like there was no one kind of like holding me accountable , I don't think .
and it's really hard to come back from that because then you're not only just mourning a breakup , you're mourning yourself because you lost , yeah , within that yeah , and that's the worst part yeah , and bringing it back to season one , the thing I said was the most in love I've ever been with someone was the least amount of focus and pressure I put on them .
Uh-huh , exactly .
Period poo . Like it's hard enough going through a breakup and having to like figure out what the rest of your life is going to look like without that person , like that's one thing , but if you also have to figure out who you are as a person outside of that relationship on top of it , like that's too much .
So , like you cannot , you know , allow yourself your own value , you know of yourself , to be tied up in that , because if it ends , then so does your perception of yourself .
Yeah , and I've really been struggling , yeah , I would say , the last few months . But it's also so great because I think that , although something you know ended , our relationship and friendship like were started taking off at the same time .
So it's nice to have that non-romantic kind of like person who is like either challenging or like getting you excited or almost not even a crutch , but it's like kind of you're not just handling it by yourself , which is just like a soundboard yeah yeah , and it's been great because then , not that I was at my worst , but you got to kind of see me , you know ,
on that journey of becoming this version of Caleb , that I'm watching it happen right now Truly .
You know , I mean serious . It's a good TV , it's a good TV series , isn't it ? I think everyone listening is on that journey with you . Listening is on that journey with you .
Yeah , and that's why I really have been enjoying doing this podcast is because it's we share a lot . It's very vulnerable , but it excites me because then I'm well for one . If I put it out there , I'm going to have to fucking follow up on it because , like what am I Accountability , truly ?
But then also just like I wish that I had people that were just going to be like real and not like well , you'll get over it one day , but it's like you were there . My favorite thing is to fumble through things and they're getting to see it and then also you are .
It's been , yeah , it's been wonderful I love that and I answered it for you .
I know , I mean truly , that was that was actually really good advice , and I think it's so applicable to so many people . Yeah , let's get into victory advice so victory is our win of the week or the day , or like most recent like win we're proud of yeah .
In any kind of way , so that one's very open , broad , and then vice is very much either like a crutch or something that Not super proud of .
Yeah , and so Toxic trait or yeah , something bad that happened , or it's very much the unwell part , yeah , the unwellness of it all .
Spices are so fun , I know okay , so , um , my victory I mean honestly branching off what we talked about at the beginning would be I've , I've been making being more intentional with hanging out with people and that connection , because for the , there's a long time here recently that I've just been like , no , I'm gonna stay home .
I've just been so drained from work , whatever . Um . So last night at karaoke , um , was it last weekend ?
yeah , that the bachelorette trip with all my uh old travel nurse friends was fucking so much fun , and even just seeing lindsey yesterday like it's even if , no matter what's going on , if you're doing things that are exciting and with people you enjoy , so then it like pulls you out of that . Yeah , um , that would be my one victory .
That and I I don't know what I'm supposed to have to , but I'm going to talk about it briefly .
¶ Chili's Teasing Instagram Post Reactions
That chili's posted on their instagram that teasing me with cryptic message about like it was literally like screenshots of all these people like bring , put a Chili's in Seattle . You , um , you , coward , that's what it is they were calling people cowards , and then it was a carousel the second photo they DM'd you . No , this , they posted this .
Oh okay , uh , on there , like I a story , they post it . And then the second photo in the carousel they literally cropped a chili's fucking restaurant on the space needle and I'm like , and then I of course I read every single comment that was there and it was like , please tell me , you're bringing it , bringing this here .
We're saying that , we're not saying no , like they're still very like gray area and it's not going to be on top of the victory right I know this , I know this , but they were so intense , the marketing people behind it they were like if they did that just to tease me , I am going to have to call and report them or something , because the turmoil that that's
caused me mentally , if I don't get one I will be really upset . But yeah , that was my second victory . Who knows , it'll probably be a vice soon if they don't bring one ?
Yeah , probably . What's your victory ? My victory was back to karaoke . Just had like a great time , and the two songs that I chose were Pop by NSYNC .
So good , kyle , thank you .
Yeah , I was like really embodying like Justin . Timberlake and is , like you know , kind of raspy whiny .
I am totally , I'm totally you did . You sounded like a sheep when you did that .
Yeah , was that intentional , is that what they do ?
that's how I warm up for dirty pop I'm gonna post . We're gonna have to take a photo of you as Justin Timberlake's mugshot to reenact . Oh my gosh , I would love that write that one down . I'm doing that right with my little notebook while I'm writing it . Do you want to go ahead and give us your advice ?
yeah , I had a different one , but then , when you talked about going to Portland , it reminded me of the events that occurred while you and David were both in Portland separately different events that occurred while you and David were Both in Portland separately , both in Portland yeah , different events .
But I was in charge of watching Bourbon the dog and I woke up .
The tea , the drama of it all , yeah , I woke up on Saturday , so this is the day after the first night that you two were away and I got all of these text messages from David and all of these voice messages and I was like just barely waking up and I was like trying to understand what he's saying Something about . Like the cops are on their way .
I don't know what's going on . I looked at the ring cam and it looks like the door is open . I see bourbon walking in and out of the door , like what the hell is going on . Anyways , he did end up calling the police . The police did come to the house .
He said that they didn't want to like come in and wake me up because they thought it would like scare the shit out of me , which probably would . And at first I thought this was like a fucking , like prank , and he was just like fucking with me .
And then he sends me the screenshot of the ring door with two quite attractive officers , if I do say so myself with bourbon at the door . And they just put him back inside , shut the door and went on their merry way and I woke up in the morning being like how did any of this happen ?
All . While I was asleep , I didn't hear a doorbell and I was like guys .
I'm so sorry that , like I didn't even drink anything that night , I was just like exhausted yeah , but it's so odd , I don't know how the door yeah , opened I . I think that maybe it just like didn't latch all the way . But yeah , that was my advice . Okay , caleb , what's your vice of the week ?
um , it's a vic . No , it's a vice now , but it may be a victory because I've , you've , heard of the team . Oh yeah , m you did .
You see all the um super bowl commercials that they did yeah , and I thought it was the cheesiest animated crap commercial . And then you did the same exact one , like six times .
Like that's millions of dollars yeah , and for the longest time , because my uh younger brother , I think , is also obsessed with this , because he'd like use my teamu code and I'm like , no , that sounds like a cult , I'm not doing it and I just thought it's gonna be shitty . Uh , products , but kyle the amount of hours I've spent on this this week .
So my vice is shopping , but I have found so many things you hear me so many things that bring me so much joy . Oh gosh , I'll mention one now . Okay , the one , the artwork I got for my bathroom . Live , no , live , laugh , toaster bath as a framed photo . And then there's this chicken pocketbook that I really wanted to get .
And then , oh my god , we got like a pocketbook that looks like a chicken . It is in the shape of a chicken and it's fuzzy . Oh my god do I need that . No , no , but the amount of things that bring me joy on that app , because it's so , oh .
So it's a vice , because I spent quite a bit of time and money on it , but , but I can't wait to show everyone our neon signs . Oh yeah , that's going to be the best . Oh , and I got so many things for my um craft room cause they just have everything and people rave about the quality . So you'll hear her first .
Okay , it's a vice now because I spent a lot of time shopping , but it may be a victory next , next time .
Okay , how much did you spend ?
Only like $120 .
okay .
But I love that it tells you how much money you save Cause if you bought this full price , it would have been this , I'd say $400 . I ordered a lot of things and it's literally from like just brings me joy as like a sit around , or is it like something practical , like crafting ? Um , or there was this little headband .
I don't even have hair , it's literally a headband , and it's this little character . You do have hair , it's this character that has little hands , like two little hands , and you put the piece of hair in it in each of the hands to keep it off of your face .
I think I'm going to grow my hair out long just to review this product . I'm not going to allow that .
No , I need it . Okay , yeah , that was my vice because I shopped a lot and I shouldn't be doing that after I just bought this damn iPad . But yeah , yeah . So that's my vice that I can't wait to share with everyone . Maybe , I'll become a reviewer and influencer . Oh my God , a T-Mu .
Have you tried T-Mu-ing ? I'm going to turn it into a If you're a T-Mu person .
Is it a Mu or is it a Boo ? That's the review .
Wow , that's good . That's good . No one sent that from me Cold , no one sent that from me , so let's wrap this up . Yeah , if you want to share your victories and vices with us , you can send us an email unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom . Unfamouslyunwell on Instagram . You can reach out to us there . We'd love to hear those from you guys .
What else is part of them ?
That's just the ending , so we will see you again same time next week and in the meantime we wish you well Moo .