This is unapologetic parenting podcast dedicated to candidly and unapologetically discussing parenting, divorce and co parenting. We take on the topics most people don't want to talk about and offer support and solutions to help you be a better parent, co parent and human being. Now without further ado, let's get right to it. Welcome back to unapologetic parenting I am your host Carl Knickerbocker. And in this episode, we are talking about viewing divorce as opportunity.
So we do not have to view the divorce process as something to be mourned are grieved, we don't have to view it as a setback, we don't have to view it in any particular negative way at all. Sure, granted, going through it oftentimes is a bit painful. Some people have more pain during the process, and others because of legal battles, and
whatever else have you. But beyond that, beyond the experience of some difficult things that we have to navigate the way that we actually view the overall process and view what we are stepping into in the post divorce scenario that is
completely wide open. So just because social norms are just because Hollywood or TV shows characterize the post divorce status, so to say, as one that involves lots of crying and tissues and hiding in the dark and sobbing, and taking months and months or years to be able to get over it. None of that has to be true for us. None of that has to be what we choose to view as our lives in the post divorce situation. So just as much as somebody can say, Oh, it's gonna be a hard time and I have to
grieve and grieve and grieve. We can also say, you know what we grieve as long as we choose any time we grieve anything, we grieve for that amount of time that we have, at some level chosen to grieve. So we might as well choose a nice short amount of time and say, You know what, I'm going to choose a week, I'm going to choose two weeks, I'm going to grieve the heck out of this. And if I need to get the tissue boxes out, I'm going to
just go for it. And then after that week, or after that two weeks, now I'm going to view it as opportunity, I'm going to view it as growth. Because guess what, no matter how we view it, we're still going to be in the same situation, it's still going to be the post divorce situation. So we might as well view it in a way that is going to be supportive for ourselves that's going to be most supportive for our families and most supportive for our
children. And everything else moving forward, we might as well adopt a mindset that says, I'm going to have some free time on my hands, and I'm going to make the most of that free time, I'm going to take these opportunities to travel and see the world I'm going to get out and I'm going to see whatever is around the city around me, I'm going to go to the museums, I'm going to become a more interesting person, I'm going to read a ton of books, go back to school, develop my career,
develop some new skills, maybe find some ways to earn even more income, develop a new business, I'm going to find ways to improve my parenting skills and improve my relationships and have a lot more intentionality
with my kids. Because I'm going to have some free time because of custody arrangements to really invest in planning invest in myself, invest in developing the things that will make the most of our time together, it is a tremendous opportunity is a chance to get free from mistreatment is oftentimes a chance to come up for a breath of fresh air after being in a stifling and dissatisfying relationship, it is a chance for us to really sit down and get very, very clear on what we
actually want out of life. So divorce going through that process often teaches us a lot about what we do not want. Well, the big question is, what do we actually want? What sort of experiences do we want moving forward? From the time of deciding that we're going to have the divorce and go through that process? through the rest of the next months years rest of our life? What is our vision for the types of experiences we want to have with the people we love with our everyday lifestyle?
What sort of life Do we want to build. And in the post divorce situation, we have tremendous opportunity to be able to really define sometimes for the first time in our entire lives, what it is we actually want, who we actually want to be, what sort of experiences we actually want to have and who we actually want to have those experiences with.
So if you have been through the divorce process, and you still feel like you're being held back, it's time to set some sort of timeframe on the grieving process, and then switch it to a mindset that says no, I am going to grow I'm going to make the most of this opportunity. I'm going to take this time to clearly clearly out who I want to be, I want to find ways to develop myself How can I start maximizing my family time, my private time, my personal time?
What work do I need to do to start stepping into a much happier life. And the moment we start viewing divorce as opportunity when we start viewing it is a point of evolution, a process of evolution that can lead us to greater things. All of a sudden, everything starts opening up to us, where we start being able to move forward from things that we thought had to be stifling, and
keep holding us back. So please, please, please take this opportunity to view the divorce process and everything you're going through from the mindset of opportunity. As you move forward. You can create any new life you want.