Bringing Awareness to Patterns and Habits

Welcome to the mindful musings of two spiritual mamas. We are Alisha
and Shelby. Here to share our 20 years of authentic friendship, life experiences and acquired wisdom. infused with love and intention, our episodes will inspire those who are ready to shift their soul path into alignment with its divine purpose.

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Welcome to Episode Five with two spiritual mamas. 

This is Alicia. And I'm Shelby. And today we're talking about bringing awareness to our patterns and habits.
Who this is a big one. But before we dive in Alicia and I wanted to paint a little visual for you. So as our teacher, Judy Amaura, has shared with us over the years, she's invited us to think about life as a spiral. And as we ride this, or slide along or climb, whatever you want to use up this spiral, we trust that we are going to be revisiting, revisiting our patterns, revisiting our habits revisiting certain parts of our lives. 

And this can be on a daily basis, it can be on a seasonal basis, on an annual basis. As we've talked about in our episodes, so far, nature provides us with this same type of visualization, the same type of example, with nature with a daily sunrise with a daily sunset. So inside of that visual, we're going to ask you to look at the way that you approach your daily lives, and your daily habits and maybe some patterns that you are perhaps ready to let go through Yes, it all comes down to raising your awareness and starting to recognize the patterns and habits. 

So like you said, when you first wake up in the morning, what are your first thoughts? What are your first actions? And are these things that you do on a regular basis, enhancing your vitality? Or are they taking you out of alignment or off balance, and there's so many little nuances that we do throughout our day that we can just notice where things are. And notice how they might be different if we made a different action chose something different.

I love that enhancing your vitality. Oh, that is that gets me excited to hear what we have to say.

Put them in the title, enhancing your vitality with awareness to what the heck you do all the day, all day long. Absolutely. And that I think is something that is important for me, as I move in my daily life. I don't have a lot of space for big changes, you know, nothing dramatic. So I love the idea of a small step, a little bit of a degree. You know, I always tell my girls, if you're in the forest, and you turned one degree to your left and started walking, that journey would be so different than if you turn one degree to your right. So these don't have to be monumental. Holy crap, what am I doing today? I'm so out of my comfort zone changes. These are just awarenesses. 

So let's talk about how you become aware of these things that need to change like right now I'm getting the body chills. But that goes back to our intuition episode.
Yeah, go listen to that one. And, and we talk a lot about awareness of our body sensations and feelings. And just noticing your vitality level noticing how clear minded you feel. If you're feeling overwhelmed and bogged down and stressed out. What is it in your life that's contributing to that as a pattern? 

What is it if it's a thought pattern or a physical action? and listen to your body's intuition on how you might feel better doing something different and, and sometimes it's like a ton of bricks that hits you and you're like, Okay, gotta change. This is different, I gotta do something different. But most of the time, it's just those little shifts, like you said, one degree one direction, and it will change the way that you live your life.

I have this little spy in my back, it's like right in my rhomboids that starts to flare like little beacon. So whenever I'm out chopping wood, or doing too much yard work, I'm like, oh, beep, beep, I gotta go in and I, I lay on my myofascial ball, take a break, I drink some water, and I go back out. But it really, it's funny, when my body has learned to give me this little indicator that you're doing too much girl, you've got to take a break. And, and, you know, we get so excited about progress and checking the list off that often a break, or arrest is not really in the cards. So I'm thankful to my body for that. 

For sure. I love that example. Because it's that indicator light. And as we we all have those body sensations that we don't listen to very closely. And for me yet, when it's I'm at my computer, and I'm starting to feel stiff, I really do just need to get up and stretch for two minutes. And, and that is a pattern or a habit that I can get into you can even set your timer on your phone to go off every 30 minutes. And remember to get up and get a drink of water and stretch or there's so many great things you can implement to shift into more vitality. But we also want to look at what we're doing on a regular basis that's habitual. Like, when you get home from work, what do you do? What's the first thing that you grab?

I just fall into bed. And that's not very good. Exactly. moment, but Well, if we want to be vulnerable, I'll tell you guys, I have I had to reteach myself to like, go in the bathroom and take off my coaching clothes and and be done with that, you know, 12 hour and 10 hour day and honor myself and either get in the hot tub or take a shower and wash my face and put my jammies on you know, when you coach you coach in comfortable clothes. So often there's crashing into bed is easy, but it's that simple act of I'm important enough to put my jammies on and then I can go relax. 

So that's a little bit of a habit I had that I had to break and it's so rewarding. It's really rewarding because I sometimes wonder if I woke up it's still in my my sweats in my coaching tanktop I was like, Oh, what a loser. I know, I don't want to wake up with that kind of a thought. So that was something. I'll just you know, throw it out. There is something I did. Not anymore.

We're both mama's so a lot of times we like to bring it back to how do you greet your family, when you first come in, if you're, if you've got three dozen bags of groceries or whatever you've got in your hands, and you're, you know, the dog is jumping to get attention. And that it's a really great thing to have awareness around how people that haven't seen you all day that are being greeted, and how we talk to our kids when it comes to checking in about school or online school or whatever they're doing. Those are some awarenesses I like to bring to my it's funny, my partner doesn't have any kids. But he is such a great role model for parenting. It's always amazing to me how he'll bring up those little notice things he'll catch me when I'm like, not speaking to my son with a lot of awareness. It's just an automatic response. So it's those moments that I tried to catch myself.

Oh, yeah, I couldn't think of the one where you walk in and the dishes aren't done. And the first person who comes in the kitchen you want to make what the heck, you know, I've been working all day. Didn't you have time where you can get to that you can definitely make your point and ask them in five minutes or 10 minutes. Hey, can we talk about the dishes here? But how much love do you have for that person and appreciation for them in your life? That will change everything for the evening if you walk in the door and just say hey, it's so nice to see you. Yeah, man, I want to be like so you're gonna get to the dishes.

Well, that's the point is such a great segue to reactivity. And when you notice you're having a reaction like you want to bark at somebody or you want to blame something that we look within and we look at where that is a pattern. That is it really does need to be interrupted. So that so we actually catch ourselves and and not have a hit vitual response pattern to the people that we love especially, and I've been doing it a lot with my son too, especially with the chores, it's a great example. Yeah, being able to use it as a teaching moment, instead of showing them your level of frustration or annoyance with them.

And I think it often comes from the fact that you have a lot going on in your plate. And as we've talked about in our other other episodes, it might be time to take a look at that plate and take some things off. But that's not necessarily your child's fault or your spouse's fault, you know. So, as Alicia and I are going to talk to you guys about constantly go deep, deep dive into what is the root of this frustration or friction in your body and your own own harmony. So I think for me, I've had to just say, You know what, for the next week, just give myself a week of being grateful. For every, every interaction I have, when I walk in the door, or every criticism I get, you know, in my business, or even my kids, but for the most part, something I've had to do in my, in my daily patterns is to just thank the person, thank you for bringing that up. 

Thank you for having the courage to speak up and pointed out that you don't understand what's going on in this particular situation. Or you might see it a different way than me. And then it brings it this like gentleness to the conversation, that you can then explain yourself, or explain perhaps what they're not seeing and you know, a little bit more about or vice versa, or whatever, it just brings coziness instead of defense. And so that, to me is a big pattern and habit that I wanted to bring awareness to in my life was just being defensive. 

You know, that is such a fantastic practice. And I love that story, just making a choice to thank people when they come at you with a criticism, because they're coming from their perspective, and they're seeing something different than what you're seeing, or maybe it's an unconscious thing that you're doing, and they're helping you. Right. So thank you. Thank you. Yeah, ping me. Thank you for speaking up. What a wonderful, fantastic tool for people to get out of that self criticism. Defensiveness, I mean, there's so many things there. I just feel like we could expand on that for ever.

Well, I do want to say something about what what it does for them, because they might be terrified to bring it up to me. Because like, wow, she's the boss here. But I really want to say this, because it seems to be affecting my child, or it's, maybe it's your own child that's bringing something up to you. And I go, Oh my god, I gotta tell my mom that she's really annoying when she does this certain thing, even though I know she loves me. But when people speak up for themselves, I applaud them, thank them, please, like I'm totally getting children. Now. It's just so important to say thank you for using your voice. And if they perhaps use it a little too aggressively, or whatnot, you can get to that. But I really do think it matters, especially when you're you're working with use your children, thank you for speaking your voice. Thank you for saying what's on your mind, that's so important. And then you move on from there. And but again, like I said earlier, it gets to be more comfortable. You know, and you don't have to work through all those friction AEWA winds to get to the root of it, you know? Yes.

Well, so if our listeners are asking themselves right now, what can I do to notice a pattern? What is it that's like, how do I even do this? I would like to suggest that you notice what in your life is serving you and and helping you and what in your life might be draining you and, and challenging your ability to have all that vitality and centeredness that we desire. And it's when you start to recognize the things that are not working for you. I would love to gift you with this idea that it although it may not be working for you, right now, you took on that pattern or develop that habit. Because it did serve you at one time, it was either a coping mechanism or it was keeping you save or it was a great way to have more fun in the moment. 

And right now you're actually needed to be more serious or more, you know, focused. So nothing is necessarily bad or good. It's just whether it's serving you and your highest and most vital wonderful life or not and if it's not serving you anymore. Thank your previous self thank your past self for doing what it needed to do at the time. I am. But with grace, you can release and let go and kind of surrender into a different way and change because you are aware now that this is not the way you want to be, and you have a choice that you can shift into doing something different.

Oh, yes, yes, I love all of that. It's almost like those cozy pants that you wear all winter. You're so thankful for them. I know this is. This is a silly example. But you just thank you so much for supporting me all winter and keeping me warm and keeping me feeling cozy in my COVID pants. You mean?

Oh, I think we all have at least three pairs of COVID. I'm cracking up over here. Yes, but now it's time to give them? I think we might. I think Yeah, a couple more months, you know? Hopefully. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So yes, that's such a beautiful, I think everything has its purpose and everything serves us and and sometimes you really do need that extreme measure, you need that. You know what I had that friend that I called every single day. And with unconditional love, they fed me and they helped me and they nurtured me and, and that friend isn't going to take offense when you can drop back a little bit and not call them every every day. 

And I'm not saying that's a bad habit or pattern to get out of. It's just sometimes there's emergency patterns that we do need. And that's okay. Yeah. I think what's important is when you recognize that you don't need them anymore. And that you look at yourself on that spiral. And you say, You know what, I've turned the corner here. Well, there's no quarters in the spiral. But you know what I'm saying, I look around, I'm come back around, I'm a little more clear, you know, whatever it was, that was bogging me down. That funk isn't with me every day, I'm able to look at things from a higher perspective. And oh, I'm ready to shut that. Thank you. So so much, and be gone. Go on with you.

I want to bring up one of my deeper bigger patterns that I've worked through in my life. And I think Shelby, you can relate is people pleasing? Oh, yes, people pleasing can be one of those things that we have ingrained in us. And there's so many of these types of patterns, I'm just using this one, because it's has been mine that I continue to use this spiral analogy to circle back to because more and more of my needing to speak up for myself and share from my truth and my experience, instead of worrying or coming from a place of fear about how the other person is going to receive me or what their reactions are going to be, you know, we can only really be focused on what's going on inside of us and doing our very best to communicate with clarity and love and all of that. But I just thought I'd bring that up. Because it's one of my patterns that I've been working with my whole adult life noticing, and constantly refining my responsiveness to that. It's almost like a reaction of a habit for sure.

Yeah, and I think the best we've talked about this before, I believe the best response to that is, I have to think about that, you know, I Your request is so important. You know, that sounds like an amazing idea. But I have to put some thought into that. You know, and then you are not giving that like, I can't think of the right word. But like that reaction to please, you're actually going to go home and be like, How does this feel in my body? And if you get an instant stomach ache, or your neck starts to hurt, you be like, oh, yeah, that's not going to be sustainable for my regular daily life. And that's a beautiful way of gauging and using like we've talked about before your body as a pendulum, like is this resonate with me? And then it's okay, you with that?

Understanding, it's so much easier to go back and say, You know what, at this time that is not in my cards, it's just not going to work out. And I've always I'm always so surprised how resilient people are. They're, you know, they come at you with like, this is gonna be an I need you. And then when you say no, they're like, Okay, no problem. Like, oh, okay, and it's awesome. And it because it's supposed to be that way because it's divine flow. And and so trust that as well trust in the divine flow and trust that not everybody understands the divine flow. So they might think you are the end all be all. And when you say no, they're like, Oh, actually I have another option. And it's fine and it's perfect. 

So yes, creative solutions. I love what you're talking about being gentle with yourself being kind and your process and also sounds like patience to like you actually need to take a breath, check your autumn automatic response to people please to say yes, every time or whatever it might be for you. And then have a nice response that you can give that is kind and actually honors you and them and and actually brings them into a level of vulnerability into knowing what you've got on your plate, right? 

You might be overwhelmed with what you've got going on. Like you said, your calendar is a great indicator to people that you've got this much time or space or you don't. So you have a great example about the garden that I would love for you to share. 

Yeah, I actually, I'm sure everybody has heard of this at some point or another. But we had last season, there was a gymnastics me and a lot of the kids, I think was one of the first meats and there's always expectation with the when you're showcase yourself, or when you decide I'm going to change this habit, I'm going to change this behavior, and then you go out and you fail. You're like, oh, that didn't go so hot. And so I wrote something for my girls that reminded them, like, you're never gonna plant a seed. And then the next day, go and yell at the garden, like, where are you plants? 

Why aren't you spray? You know, you're going to honor and respect that there's a process. And so please, if you're if you're thinking about this really hard habit that you need to change, whether it's a reactive habit, or a behavior habit, or I always think about going to the gym, but I don't be patient, take small steps, imagine that you're a seed, it's going to take seven to 14 days, for this route to happen, then you got to keep watering it. And that means positive talk, positive self talk, wow, I didn't really water myself today. But tomorrow, I'm going to do better. 

And, and just think about that and just look outside, if you need to look at your children if you need to, they do not start walking in one day. And that's another example. I say to my kids all the time, I'm like, Do you know how many times a person falls when they're learning how to walk, like, if they don't even understand they're failing, they think it's hilarious, you know, they, they land on their butt, and they giggle like, so just look around you for these examples in nature that, that teach you. It's okay to take your time, it's okay to slowly integrate, and remind yourself of your goals on a daily basis or every other day what, whatever you do is awesome. 

You're doing it is the point.

Yes. And even having the intention to do it is a shift. It's that one degree. And that's all we need to do. But revisit that remind yourself, try again tomorrow. And and when you do catch yourself, celebrate it. And when you don't be gentle with yourself and and compassionate and flexible. And just know that tomorrow is another day you can try again tomorrow. It's just like the way we would be ideally raising our children, right, with so much nurturing and loving support to that for yourself to
Oh, yes. And if you can, like have a checkpoint, you know, Alicia and I, that's why we we made a commitment to each other before COVID Hit that we wanted to just communicate on a regular basis. Because we were we recognize we're on such a mirroring spiritual paths. And there's not many people who are when you find such a common, you know, two seeds that were planted at the same time what we're like, we gotta check in with each other. 

This is so cool. And we fed off of each other. So I and whether that's a journal, or just every Sunday or first of the month, I'm gonna reflect on what I did, right? I could cry right now. I was told by so many spiritual healers, and so many different occasions. You are your own worst critic Shelby, you are holding yourself back from your success. Because you pick on yourself so badly you there was one group meditation I was in so funny. The woman's like, well, there's somebody here that has just started thinking about what she has accomplished. Instead of what she hasn't, and I was like, Oh my god. Oh my God, that's me. 

Thankfully, he was on Zoom, and I'm like, Dude to do. What you know, it could have been six other people in the group too. But yeah, that is we are our own worst enemies at times. And so find the little joys and the successes. and think, you know, if you need to get some dirt and plant a seed for food. For real, I was like, I don't know, what does that for reals Yeah. To just witness and be the seed, you know, and you know what you could plant like a seed every day and have those that many different habits, that's a big, big picture. I know, it's really like you can be on different levels with different goals and different habits. 

And, and maybe one isn't able to change until the other is gone. You know, you got to make room, sometimes, I keep going with the seed analogy, because there's a lot of trust in the divine and trust in spirit trust that you have that within you to make this happen. And it takes a letting go and surrendering into yourself, it's not passive, it's actually very active to, to make that choice, whether it's to stop doing something or to start doing something, but to trust and give your whole heart and soul in belief that it's possible that you can do it and that you're supported by the universe. 

And that, that is so huge. So huge. And speaking of being supported by the universe, there's also an astrological perspective of those energies in which we can flow like, like high speed down a river, or when it feels like we're trying to climb uphill. And this last year, in 2020, Mars was retrograde for like six months. And Mars is the planet of action. So there's a lot of it's masculine energy of movement forward doing. And it was in its absolute strong sign of Aries, but it was retrograde, which felt like pulling on the reins of a horse and carriage like you just keep it, keep it retained back, hold it back, hold it back, hold it back at that there was not this go energy, we were all locked in our homes, we were not able to create and be out in the world and do as much as we would have liked to. And it was an interesting energy to work with. 

And notice, okay, we're adjusting to this universal flow right now is not going in that direction, it's not gonna make it easy on us. But that is giving us the chance to go within and surrender to those desires sometimes, you know, during COVID, honestly, I drank alcohol a lot more than I normally would. And that was a pattern interrupt, I really wanted to abruptly stopped drinking alcohol to help me recenter. And I did it for a whole month. 

And then I was like, okay, I can have a glass of wine once in a while. I'm not an addictive personality. I knew that that wasn't the reason why I was drinking, it was really just because it was like, Well, what else is there to do, I'm just in this strange new place. And I'm trying to find my way and, and it was easy enough once I made that intention, and focused on it and made a good healthy choice for myself that this whole coaching 28 day practice helped. 

It was like a lot of other stuff to think about and focus on and, and anybody can join us on that journey anytime they like because it is a really helpful tool or set of tools to shifting a lot of these belief systems and patterns and habits but
and I want to talk about your pattern interrupt, because I think that's a really, really cool concept to integrate. You know, if you have something that you're like, I don't even know how to stop this pattern. I'm just now realizing I have this pattern as I listened to this one. 

Give yourself a little bit of it of a goal is very small. And I talked about this a few minutes ago, but a change like leashes that I'm not going to drink for a week or whatever it is, and maybe I'm not going to eat fast food or maybe I'm not going to respond. You know, I know I've already talked about being grateful. But sometimes people can I have teenagers that I adore and I love but on occasion, they're a little snarky. And I have learned to just let the Snark be the last thing that said instead of being like, what the heck, that was so rude, you know, then it becomes this battle. And when you let when i i said pattern interrupt, I'm going to stop reacting. I'm going to stop trying to teach them a lesson in that moment. Because you can't teach a snarky person anything. Not in that moment. You can no no and so and it was actually almost immediate. You know where my son was like Oh, Oh god, I'm sorry, that was a little bit rude. 

And I'm like, Oh, thank you. Sometimes silence is the best response. Yeah. Moments of like, Yeah, let's just let that vibrate in the air for a minute. Do you hear yourself talk?
Yeah. And so I love that idea of pattern interrupt. And then of course, you feel it differently. When you when you do bring it back in, you're like, oh, yeah, that is uncomfortable when I eat that, or when I drink a couple beers or when I stay up too late. And when watching Netflix and I'm obsessive with binge watching. I'm giving you guys all my secrets.

That's that body awareness piece to of noticing how you feel noticing the body sensations your body will talk to you.

So let's talk about spiritual bypassing.

That is a term people may not have heard before. So I'll go into what that is. And then we can talk about how when we're changing habits and patterns and becoming more integrated in our spiritual life, how spiritual bypassing can actually be detrimental instead of being the thing that helps us. So just like when you're bypassing anything, you're going around it, right, you're not going through it, and you're not looking at it and focusing on it, you're actually looking away from it, and you're going away from it. So spiritual bypassing is taking one of these habits, for example, something that you're looking to change, or that you don't like about yourself, even as a self critical way, maybe we notice, I don't want to be doing that anymore. 

Okay, well, instead of looking at why I do it, the thoughts that are involved in it, and going into the feeling, I'm just going to say, Oh, just stop doing it and be spiritual and, and, you know, stand in my loving heart and, and only do things this other way, without necessarily seeing that it's still there, it's still pulling on you, because you haven't identified all those bits and pieces that are so important to know, deeply. Instead, you're just avoiding.

So is this where we were talking about kind of keeping the messy, messy basement messy, you know, and, and not dealing with the ground work, like, you've got this spectacular home and like love and light, and you're kind and gracious, but you've still got some stuff in the closet or in the basement. This is this is not the easy path, you know, a spiritual journey has its shadows. And, yes, you've got to go in there. Everybody, you've got to go in deep and you've got to confront them. There are so many ancestral patterns and habits that came with us into this, you know, existence this life, or your own, that you may be shoved down that I know it doesn't sound appealing. But you really do have to go in and go deep. 

And yeah, especially if they're really powerful feelings, states that come up. So say the reactivity, you know, that you're feeling, you bring up a lot of anger and you don't know how to deal with it, instead of just saying, Oh, I'm not going to be angry. You need to look at the feeling of anger and what it feels like in your body and look at how to express it in a healthy way. 

Because that does exist. I've learned healthy anger does exist. And that was a challenge for me for most of my life. And, and sadness is another one I try I've I've been in phases of my life where I avoid sadness shall be I know you love to cry, that is like a healing, emotional release for you. But for me crying and sadness was something I was trying to avoid. And now that I've integrated that within, I can see that that was that spiritual bypassing that was an avoidance pattern. And now, when I do feel the sadness, I go deep into it directly into it, and I like to cry and I like to know why I feel that way and what it is about that cycle that's keeping me sad if I'm, you know, stuck in it, and then flows right through it onto the other side. I'm so happy to be back into joy when it's over. But it's much better and more satisfying feeling to go through it, then try to avoid it and go around it with that spiritual bypassing.

Yes, it's a long lasting to sustainability. As you were talking, I was like going back to my seed and thinking, if I plant seeds in a bed, that's full of weeds, that seeds not gonna grow, it's gonna struggle to try to get choked out. There's no space. And so as our spiritual midwife and from her title, this is her self imposed title, Judy teacher says, You've got to birth these things, you have to release them and release them, of course, with gratitude and love, as we say, in every episode, for what they've taught you and the lessons you've gotten to swim through, to be the person that you are, but ultimately, cleanse them, let them go. And it's so fun. Not maybe fun is not the right word, but the alignment and the accessibility of what can then come flowing into your life is, it's huge.

It's word I love, satisfying, it feels so satisfying, gratifying, you feel so successful. And I have re framed my belief around success. So that that feeling that you were just talking about is that feeling of success. It's a spiritual growth, success. It's an achievement of a personal goal that I'm been just put on myself for my own pleasure, right for my own abilities to feel that love and expansive joy, through living in a spiritual alignment with flow with the divine. It's so satisfying. I love that word satisfying. 

It, My son loves it to my sons always click something open. He's like, wow, that's really satisfying.

Yes, my daughter too. And I think is important to remember that your sense of self worth your sense of character from the deepest levels, is going to be the frequency with which you attract others, or situations or successes you say, or money, what's the word for being fortune or attendance, abundance, thank you. 

And so I know, I've almost been in a place where my dream was right in front of me, but I wasn't in alignment with myself enough to receive and sustain what was being offered at the time. So it's almost like you it's got a stick. And if it if there's not a place for things to stick, they're going to be on their merry way. And as I truly believe the universe will provide the opportunity again, it's not like love, love loss forever. But you got to do the work. 

And so doing these little habitual recognizing, what are my little tweaks I could start to make, and then it just becomes so normal and familiar to witness yourself. When you're reacting or when you're being overly controlling or when your whatever your habits are. It becomes easier with ease. Not Nothing's easy, but with ease, you can shed the layers just like oh, I was I was asking our selling Alicia about some journal work I did with my girls. And I asked them, I said, now that you're, you're teenagers, you've been in the gym for six, seven years, some of you think about the way that you've redecorated your room. 

Of course, they're like, yeah, like six times during COVID. I'm like, oh. But think about you know, how your room was decorated when you were eight versus how it is now. So what habits as as a early teenager, in your gymnastics career, what what has changed? What do you see? And what do you want to change? And the primary one, and this almost made me cry in the moment, they said, we've learned that we have to speak up for ourselves, you have to say what we need. And if it's that we're tired, that we're there, we're in pain, or that the bars just need readjusting, but you're busy over there, it's okay to speak up and ask for what we need. 

And you know, as an eight year old, nine year old, that's not always easy, some easier than others, but it was just so wonderful for them to witness that they've grown into this sovereign teenager that could ask her what she needs. 

So that's so beautiful. And I think what a great way to end this episode, having people look at their old patterns and habits and what you've grown out of how you've successfully already done this or things like it shifted and changed. We're all pivoting and, and changing and growing, especially now more than ever. And change is constant. So embrace it, live with it with If passion and joy instead of dread and you know the pushing away, and look back and appreciate the ways in which we have, like I said, this patterns that I've shifted over the years, it's amazing to be able to talk about it now, and say, I don't do that anymore. 

I feel so good. I don't feel so constrained or limited. It's a much more expansive feeling. I definitely feel freedom and, and trust and ease, like you're saying is, it's so wonderful to be able to feel here now. And then I can only imagine what another five years of living in this level of consciousness is going to grow into, and how I'm going to feel it's going to be better, I'm sure of it.

And something you brought up before we close, checking in with your with your people. You know, I do this often with my children, you know, I say, Well, you guys have changed so much, because you're supposed to, you know, but do you guys notice how much I've changed as well, you know, and let's talk about that. And let's celebrate it. Because if you don't check in with your people, sometimes they expect you to be a certain way. And then when you're not, it's disconcerting to everybody. And they're like, but you're supposed to respond like this, and you're not. And you're like, Well, that was a thing of the past. 

And I've shifted and thank goodness, I love that you brought this up, I call it updating, yes, update each other. And I do in my partnership I do with my child Exactly. Like you suggested, like asking for people to see you where you are now being like, hey, let's update on this. I see you've grown look at all these things you've done this last year, and recognizing that our parents are still growing, they're still, you know, changing. And sometimes we react to I react to my own mother in a way that was an old pattern from years and years ago, right? Yeah, so nice to take those appreciative moments of updating so amazing.

And especially with the younger generation, it's just super easy to get them into the analogy because you're like Hello, your phone just updated like six times last month so I also updated to 10.0 model 1.0 Heck no, this is growing and developing all the time. I love that I get to do it alongside my best friend this beautiful woman shall be that is such an example of all of this for me and with with joy, all of that with joy.

Yeah, I'm going to be Shelby 4.6 and you can figure out why you know yay. Well, best best of awareness and patience and love self love and gratitude and kindness to all of you on this journey. This is a constant journey that we're on a change it is healthy. But like Alicia said already it is constant so roll with it flow with it be the river be whatever the fire all of it. Big Blessings to you guys.

Yes, yes, ease and grace, so much love. And we look forward to talking to you again, please subscribe so that you get notifications when a new episode comes out because we'll be talking to you again next week. Yay.

Thank you blessings