He has created us to do good works in this life, but they don't get done if we don't take the steps to do them. We can think about them, we can romanticize them and idealize them all we want to, but if we don't actually take the steps right, they don't actually get done.
Well, hello again and welcome to the Trim the Wick podcast. I'm Dan.
And I'm Becky.
And we are back with you again this week. We are excited as we are winding down 20, 24 and.
Been a short ear, hasn't it?
Yeah, it seems like it, you know, it's like, did we really go through 50 plus weeks this year? you know, it seems like it went much faster. And, you know, that is one of the things that, you know, they say, you know, time flies. And I realize as I'm getting older, it does seem like you're having that thing of that time moves faster.
It feels like there's a compression, doesn't.
Yeah. And I know that the, you know, you're looking backwards and you're going, well, my whole life has taken, you know, this long. So now it just seems like everything I do now is shorter and shorter and shorter. So there's a kind of a thing that time moves faster, but, you know.
We know, but it creates an urgency, doesn't it?
Yeah.
When you feel that time is moving more quickly. And, you. I know we've talked a lot in recent days about, wow. We really feel like there's a lot of things that God has before us to do. There are accomplishments that we see ourselves needing to make and, there are commands that we feel God has put in our life and he's told us to do, hey, you need to accomplish this, you need to do this, you need to follow through on this. You need to build this relationship here.
And when you feel the urgency of the time. Yeah, you know, it does. It becomes that, you know, do it while it's still called today because.
Well, and you know, that is weird because I've always been that young guy in the room and it always seems like, oh, you know, one of these days I'll reach that point. One of these days I'll get there. Well, I'm there.
It's one of these days.
It's one of these days. Matter fact, probably one of these days about actually passed a couple days back. Now I'm in another stage. But it, it does seem like there is a, a pressure of moving forward and an urgency. And it's one of the things that I look back at and go, you know, some of these things we know now, I wish we Knew, you know, 10, 15 years ago, not saying regrets or saying we'd make.
But there are definitely some things that as you get older, get, you do get wiser, you get smarter, some of the decisions you make and some of the things that we even, intentionally have learned, you have to start fulfilling and putting those things into action.
Absolutely. Yeah. I would definitely say probably in the last 10 years, we've had a much clearer vision of those kinds of things that we've gotten to the place of really pulling away the things that were. That were unimportant, that we were involving ourselves in, the things that we felt like we, you know, the should do things, the, societally appropriate things, the things that other people wanted or needed
from us. And not that we don't still do a lot of those kinds of things, but the things that people ask of us, we feel a much greater freedom now to say no to, than we used to. Because there's been that learning process, that clarification of the things that we're actually called to, not just the good things in life to do, but the things that are our things to do. And that's been a struggle for us. And probably in the last 10 years, we've gotten better at, ah,
clarifying what those are. And in last year and this year, God's really refined that for us.
Yeah, well. And I think that this idea of intentionality, of, you know, actually being intentional about what we're doing, what we're learning, because the time is short, it. But also, I think that if you allow others to, you know, it's the old thing, you know, if you don't make a schedule or if you don't make a plan, others will make the plan for you.
Right.
And a lot of times I think that being intentional and making sure that you're focusing on the things that you need to focus on and the growth that you wa. Wantna have and stuff like that, that is the key so that you can start building and start preparing and start being able to go, okay, I need to do this, I don't need to do that. I need to say yes to this. I don't need to say yes to that. And that kind of trickles through everything that you do.
Yeah, it does. And again, if you get with God yourself and allow him to show you, okay, these are your things. These are the big things that you need to fill your time with. These are your Largest chunks of time. Then you see more clearly where those small gaps of time are that you can fill in with other requests that come from the outside, but you're not prone to filling in to the exclusion of those larger things that you need
to be accomplishing. Right. you know, I remember years ago, I was in a women's conference, and historically, when moms get together, every mom on the planet goes, I don't have enough time for all the needs that. Right. I just. The kids need this, My husband needs this, I need this. And there's all these pulls on your time. I think it's true for everybody. The lady that
was presenting that day, she had brought a big. Just like a clear glass vase, and she had brought several things to fill that vase with. And she took first, and she filled it up with, like, playground sand, poured in a whole bunch of playground sand. And, man, you could just keep pouring that stuff in. And it filled all the way up, all the way up, all the way up. And there was no room then for the rocks and the ping pong balls that she had. It was all
playground sand. And then she emptied the vase out again, and she was like, but the ping pong balls, the biggest things that she had brought, those are the really important things that you have to get done. Those are the things that you're called to in your life. Those are the relationships that, you know, you need to put time and effort into. These are the things. So what happens if we put those in
the vase first? And then you can fit all of the big things in, and then you can start filling the space with the smaller pebbles, and then you pour the playground stand in after. and you can still get a lot of things done, but you're deliberate and intentional about making sure that those important things have space first.
Right? And that's the part of being intentional, you know, of going, I'm going to make sure that the things that I need for my growth, the things I need for my job, things that I need for my family, for relationships, that those are the things I'm going to focus on the most. The play stuff I can still do, there will be enough left over. Right now. It might not be as much as you thought or as much as you wanted, but you're going to actually have more opportunity for the play when you
do those things. Because what I've noticed over time with us and what we do is that, you know, we work really hard and get focused on things like that, and we kind of push everything else aside and we get really, we get singularly focused. We really get singularly focused. And sometimes it's not for the best of everything that we're doing.
Yeah, it's easy to get singularly focused where your entire vase is one ping pong ballng. Right. That one ping pong ball takes up the whole thing. But there are things that are of equal importance and equal priority in your life sometimes. You and I have found over the years that our relationship with one another is something that we hold as a high priority. And we have to nurture that very carefully and make time for that. But we also have to nurture and make time for our
children. We also have to nurture and make time for our parents. We also have to nurture and make time for friends. We also have to nurture and make time for our professional pursuits. because if we don't do those, it's difficult to afford a roof over your head.
Yeah.
Eat. Yeah. So, yeah, we do. We have to be careful about that singular focus because we find ourselves sometimes, especially now with, the luxury that we have of both working from home. It's easy to get really targeted, focused on just one task. And, you know, you start your day out and you get up, you get your breakfast, you get dressed, and you get started on that one task. And then the next thing you
30 at night and you've done nothing else.
Yeah.
There are times when you can do that, but you can't live consistently that way.
Yeah. No. So one of the things that we have learned is that, you know, things are not just going to happen. Like the kids are not going to get played with unless you intentionally play with the kids.
Right.
The house payment's not gonna be paid unless you intentionally do the work to earn the money to pay the house payment.
And then you have to intentionally sit down and make sure that payment goes and do it.
Exactly. And even those things. But even like yourself personally, I feel like one of the things that was. It's one of the worst things I believe that, churches do is the idea, you know, come to church and it'll solve all your problems. You know, just, just come and pray a prayer and, you know, Jesus will fix all your problems. And that's all it is. No. Okay. Yes. It's a great place to start. It's a great place to learn where the answer is and where the
fulfillment, is there. But you have to become a disciple for those things to get better in your life. You know, you have to start learning about who Jesus is and then put those things into practice. And for years and years, I believe the church preach this idea of just show up. If you show up, you're gonna get enough just through osmosis and being here that it'snna change your life and fix your marriage. And what we're learning is that that
doesn't happen. You're gonna have to actually apply what you're being taught. You're actually going to have to seek out what you're being, you know, what's there for you to learn. You know, if I want my marriage to be better, I'm going to have to seek out the things that are going to help my marriage be better. You know, if I want to make sure that I'm doing better professionally, I can't lean back and go, okay, well, I learned a bunch of stuff 20 years in college, right.
And just leave it at that.
That's good enough for me. And I can just coast on. No, you know, things are changing drastically and you've got to be constantly building yourself up, working on your personal development, working on your personal growth.
Right.
So that you can move forward or even just sustain.
Right. And it's a spiritual principle too. I mean, becoming, you mentioned it. Becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ is not just coming to church. It's not just, you know, I'm goingna use big air quotes here, giving your heart to Jesus, right? That's a beginning point. Jesus said, come and follow me and I will make you fishers of men. Right? The follow me is the important part. If you just come and you respond and say, sure, I'll follow you, Jesus.
And then the next day, Jesus is walking down the road and you're still back here going, look at me, I'm following Jesus. I made a decision, I'm going toa follow him. But Jesus is already on the road. He's a mile down the road and you're still sitting there celebrating that you made a decision to follow him. You're gonna be way behind where he is if you're not actually taking the steps to walk with him and learn from him. Yeah. And it is, it goes to like you were saying, that intentionality, it's
okay, where are the big areas of your life? What are the big ping pong balls in your spiritual walk? Okay, what's the priority? What's the first priority for you in your spiritual life? Put that in your vase first.
Right?
You know, make sure that you're spending time in the Word. Make sure that you're spending time in prayer. Build Your relationship with the one that you claim to follow.
Yeah.
you want your marriage to be good. That should be another one of your great big ping pong balls in your vase. Spending time with your spouse, not just, you know, you and I have talked about this before. We don't do the weekly date things.
Right.
because personality wise for us those would very quickly be relegated to a ritual that we perform and check off on a checklist and it would become a task to do rather than a connection to make with one another.
Yes.
And so we're real deliberate about having conversations with each other throughout the day.
Know exactly. And also m making sure that when that moment happens, when that door opens to have a conversation, to have a moment where we're focusing on each other is that we seek that and we realize and go, hey, we're not go going toa go out on a date in a movie, you know, in a dinner tonight. But it's Thursday afternoon and we need to do something here around the house. We need to focus and do that thing around the house. And that is our connection time.
Right.
We're going to communicate, we're going to talk about not just the thing that we're doing, but we're gonna talk like we're on a date. You know, we're gonna talk about some deep things and some and we take those opportunities as they come instead of trying to put in them anything.
it's very much a we have again it mirrors what we believe about our followwship of Jesus Christ. It's not an event driven thing. It is as you are going day by day thing. Know Jesus told the disciples, you know that great commission of making disciples yourselves was an as you are going As you were going make disciples. Right. We carry that same picture into our marriage. As we're going about our day to day. We're building our marriage,
we're parenting our kids. It's not, you know, parenting our kids has not been an event driven thing but it'we know that that's a giant ping pong ball in our vase. And as we're going throughout our day, it's kind of become a running joke around here. You know, if we're doing something that's very obviously a low priority thing, it's one of those playground sand moments and we're, we've got the TV on or we're just kind of edging out and one of the kids walks into the room and obviously needs some
attention. The mute button goes on the tv, we turn and look face to face and it's like, okay, you've got us.
Yeah, that intentional engagement. And I think that's one of the things of life. If you want to have good relationships, if you want to have personal growth, if you want to have a better walk with Jesus, if you want to, you know, be a better guitar player, right, you are going to have to practice. You're gonna have to decide. I'm going to set up this time to do this, and when I have the opportunity, I'mnna do that.
So we'rena I'm gonna meddle here a little bit because here's where I see the danger with a lot of the, electronics and, you know, we always. Back in the 80s and stuff, you know, it was the television that was rot in your mind. Atari came outah and then it was the video games. Now it's, you know, the video games. It's on the phone, but it's the phone. You know, people sitting in the same room together and they're just on their phones and they're not.
We've all been guilty of it at times.
We all get yilty of it. You know, I for myself, this is one of those things where in my personal development plan right now that I have for myself is I want to read more. Guys, I want to tell you, reading is not an enjoyment for me. I do not like to just sit down and read. I get no joy out of reading. It is a task.
But you do learn a lot.
I do learn, but it is a task. It is a chore. And so one of my things is that I need to read more. So I'm working on that. So when I get down and I start focusing on my phone and I go, wait a second, I've got like five minutes here, I've got 10 minutes here, or I'm not doing anything. Why would I spend 10 minutes just looking at
ridiculous, silly cat videos? I need to put this down and I need to get the book and I could read a chapter, you know, in 10 minutes and I can improve myself because that's goal for me now. And I do. I just think that we've got to start thinking that way. Just in everything we do, we should be thinking that way. Is that if there's anything that we want, we've got to work towards it. It's not just gonna happen, you know, you're notnna just have. You're not gonna all of a
sudden start saving money. No, like, money is not going to ad Just all of a sudden it.
Doesn'T just jump over into your savings account.
No, you're going toa have to be intentional about putting money into your savings account. You know, you're go goingna have to be intentional, like I said, about bettering yourself. If you want a better marriage, you're go going toa have to be intentional about working on it. You know, people talk to us all the time and they say, hey, you guys have an amazing marriage. How do you. How did this happen?
Oh, we're just that good.
And it.
From the start.
Yeah, listen, we just, for 30 plus years now, we just looked at each other and said, hey, you're, you're good, right, girl? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good here, so you're good there. So let's just, you know, be a happy marriage. no. We've worked.
Yeah.
And we've struggled and we've fought and we've communicated and we've had good times and we've had bad times and there's.
Been grace given and forgiveness and yeah, all those things. But you have to choose that.
But we've had to.
You have to decide that that's a priority. Because if you don't deliberately, actively. It's not a passive choice. No, it's not even just a. Yeah, well, kind of in the back of my head, I want a good marriage, and so I'm just gonna put up with whatever. No. Because that leads to kind of two people cohabiting as roommates, and it might be outwardly peaceful, but it's not actually a good marriage.
Yeah, well. And, we can go into that as a wholeher topic of, you know, the, the struggle within and the discord within, in quote, unquote, happy marriages.
Yeah. So. But it's not a passive thing. It has to be a deliberate, active choice. and that's true of all these things that we're talking about. It comes down to. Intentionality starts with deciding what your priorities really are. M. If you're a believer in Jesus, you need to get with him first and ask him to help shape your priorities. What are his priorities for you? Because again, like we were saying before, other people will have lots of input on,
what your priorities ought to be. You will have your own wants and desires of what your priorities ought to be. And you may completely miss the mark of what God has for you. So you really need to start there if you're a believer of going, God, what are those priorities? And then, man, I need to be about that business and not get distracted and not go. But the playground sand is so much fun and it's tactile and it's a ping pong ball is just kind of
flimsy and airy and light. It's. Yeah, but it needs to be the big thing.
Yeah.
You know, focus on those big things first.
And as we are finishing 2024 and we're coming to the end of the year, there's that struggle of looking back and going, oh my gosh, I wasted all this time. Oh my gosh, I filled my jar up with nothing but sand and I want to do better. Here's the thing is you don't have to wait till 2025, you don't have to wait till the new year to start being intentional about your living and intentional about your life. You know, this is something that you can start right now and just go, you know what?
I am going to start planning and being intentional about the life I lead, the relationships I have, my personal development, my, you know, we didn't even talk about exercise and getting ourself in shape and you know, all of that becausee that it's all.
Know that caring for our physical body enables us to accomplish a lot of other things. If you're just not taking care of that, you're going to not be able to take care of some of that.
Other stuffdonald's is going to take care of it for you. And that's what happens, you know, and.
The Lord is very clear about that. While it's still called today, we're to be doing. Yes. what he's called us to do that, you know, we are to be putting our hands to the things that he has called us and created us for. He has created us to do good works in this life, but they don't get done if we don't take the steps to do them. We can think about them, we can romanticize them and idealize them all we want to, but if we don't 'actually take the steps, they don't actually get done.
Cause what's the line? Michael W. Smith said the road to good intentions doesn't lead anywhere.
Noe, it doesn't.
We want toa encourage you to have a great rest of 2024, but an amazing 2025.
And you know, we were reading, I forget even who said it the other day, but it was something that was floating around on the Internet. And we both, we were like, ah, that's it, they've got it. And it was, I'm gonna not remember the whole thing in context, but it was something to the effect of start on Friday, start in December, start
00pm Just start. Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter. Like you were saying, doesn't matter if you've been playing with nothing but playground sand all the way up to this point. Start now. Yep, start now and make the rest better.
There you go. Well, I think we're gonna leave it there for this week and we hope that this is an encouragement to you because we really want to see you trim the wick and want to see you shine bright with the fullness of the oil in you. And this is one of those ways that can really get you guys going in the right direction is that being intentional about everything you do ask God.
For his purposes and parir your life down to those first.
All right, well I guess that'll be it for this week and we'll see you next week.
All right, love you guys. Bye.