"I'm your huckleberry." Did the real Doc Holliday actually say that? Or was that some Hollywood dramatization added to Tombstone? Turns out he did tell Johnny Ringo he was a huckleberry when he tried to step in for Wyatt Earp in a showdown. Val Kilmer's performance may have been much more accurate than I ever realized. John Henry Holiday, better known as Doc Holliday, was a Wild Western anomaly. He was a gambler, drunk, a gunslinger, possibly even a thief - BUT - he was also an educated Southern...
Jan 26, 2018•2 hr 46 min
Joseph Stalin. Icon of the 20th century. Personification of Soviet might. Catalyst of the Cold War. Hero to some, monster to many. The Man of Steel who brought the Soviet Union to the world stage and helped end WWII while simultaneously terrorizing his own people (including Chikatilo!) and bringing his fellow communists to their knees. What was previously viewed as a backwards country, quickly rose to a world superpower under his determined, sociopathic drive. The numbers vary wildly, mostly due...
Jan 22, 2018•2 hr 58 min
The Jersey Devil. Is it a kangaroo-like creature with the head of a goat, horse, or dog? Most agree that it has wings, hooves, horns, and a tail. Where does it come from? Many describe a dragon-like creature. Or does it walk on two legs like others have reported? Some say it can fly. Legends say it has killed. It supposedly once survived a cannonball blast. It emits a blood curdling scream. It might be a pterodactyl. It can die and come back. It is almost certainly demonic. It murdered it’s own ...
Jan 15, 2018•2 hr 40 min
Do the Freemasons work hand in hand with the illuminati? Are the Freemasons and the Illuminati one and the same? Is Alex Jones a Freemason? Was Jack the Ripper a Freemason? Did George Washington, definitely a Freemason, build the Washington D.C. monument as a tribute to the Dark Lord Lucifer? Is Alex Jones actually Bill Hicks? Do Jewish Zionists control the Freemason illuminati? Who are the Trilateralists? What is the Bilderberg group? What the fuck do they have to do with the illuminati? Why do...
Jan 08, 2018•2 hr 30 min
Who are the Freemasons? An ancient, Satanic organization who are part of the illuminati and intent of destroying Christianity and ruling the world? A harmless fraternal organization that gives its members a sense of community and encourages them to become the best versions of themselves? What do they do in their secret meetings? How long have they been around? How do you join? Today, in the first of a two part Freemasonry Timesuck, we dig into their origins, rituals, philosophy and even check in...
Jan 05, 2018•2 hr 33 min
John Wayne Gacy aka Pogo the clown aka Patches the clown aka the Devil himself. This outgoing member of his Chicago community, this Democratic Party volunteer, high ranking member of the Jaycees, parade organizer, and successful contractor by day was a living monster by night. He abducted, handcuffed, raped, strangled, tortured, and suffocated at least 33 young men and teen boys in the 1970s. Twenty-eight of them ended up buried beneath his home in the crawlspace. Meet the man/monster who's last...
Jan 01, 2018•2 hr 39 min
Einstein! Theoretical physicist. Nobel Prize winning mathematician. Guy who made his name synonymous with genius. Man who changed the world’s understanding of space and time. Guy who Flat Earthers and Conspiracy nuts think is a fraud. A man who stayed curious and worked on coming to a firmer understanding of the world around him and the universe that contained that world until quite literally the day he died. Also, maybe one of the world’s worst husbands. Also maybe a super shitty dad. His geniu...
Dec 25, 2017•2 hr 48 min
Who was Eleanor Roosevelt? She was the niece of Theodore Roosevelt. The wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt. So much Roosevelt! She was also a bad MF'er. She revolutionized the role of First Lady in American Politics. She didn’t just plan parties for other women of privilege - she gave press conferences with the public and wrote an internationally distributed newspaper column. She served on the United Nations. She stood up for the oppressed in an age when most did not. She was a light in the darkness,...
Dec 18, 2017•2 hr 32 min
What is the Oak Island Mystery? Why have been teams of people been digging hundreds of feet into the ground for over 200 years there? Is there buried pirate treasure? Aztec gold? Secrets of the Knights Templar? Bojangles’ missing leg? His missing eye? What is that island hiding? Anything at all? Will anything be found? Has anything been found? So many questions! Lives have been lost trying to solve that island’s mysteries. And I lost a lot of sleep trying to figure them out myself. So many crazy...
Dec 15, 2017•2 hr 45 min
Griselda Blanco. The Godmother. La Madrina. The Black Widow. The Columbian drug lord who came BEFORE the Medellin Cartel. Before Pablo Escobar. The woman who helped turn 1980s Miami into one of the world's most dangerous cities. Let’s get into some cocaine. Let’s get into some Columbia, New York, and Miami. Let’s go full Griselda in this coked up, machine gun, gangster edition of Timesuck! Timesuck is also brought to you by by the socially conscious on-line fantastic mattress store LEESA! Go to ...
Dec 11, 2017•2 hr 41 min
What the Hell is Pizzagate? It’s a detailed conspiracy theory claiming that a pedophile ring - a Satanic pedophile ring was being run out of a Hillary Clinton-linked Washington D.C. pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong. Seriously. Edgar Maddison Welch believed it to be true enough to fire a rifle into Comet Ping Pong on Dec. 4th, 2016, in attempt to rescue kids he believed were being held captive, molested, and raped in the pizza place’s basement (even though Comet Ping Pong has no basement). Edgar i...
Dec 04, 2017•2 hr 41 min
BTK. Bind. Torture. Kill. The name Wichita Serial Killer Dennis Rader gave to himself in the 1970s in letters he sent to the Wichita press where he would flaunt his crimes and taunt the police. He bound, tortured, and killed various residents of Wichita for nearly two decades and made residents fear him for three, all while raising two kids, being a devoted husband and becoming President of his church. Is it possible to be a good dad and be a cold-blooded sadistic murdered? Find out in this Midw...
Nov 27, 2017•2 hr 41 min
What is Unit 731? It was one of Japan's WWII era medical research centers where doctors performed horrific experiments on prisoners, gruesomely torturing and killing human lab rats in order to improve biological, gas, chemical, and other weapons. Prisoners were infected with the bubonic plague, syphilis, cholera, and other diseases. Prisoners were raped, beaten, frozen, and even trapped in pressurized chambers where they bled out from their pores. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemne...
Nov 24, 2017•2 hr 39 min
Sometime in the late hours of Feb. 1st, 1959, nine Russian college students died tragically in the Northern Ural mountains of the Soviet Union. When their bodies were finally found, a strange crime scene unfolded. The hikers had cut their way out of their tent in the dead of Winter. They didn’t bother putting on their shoes. Violence broke out that left one hiker with a fractured skull, another with a crushed rib cage, another with internal head injuries. They were burned in various places. They...
Nov 20, 2017•2 hr 45 min
Chief Crazy Horse. Pride of the Lakota people. Brilliant military tactician who handed the US Military it’s two greatest losses ever delivered at the hands of the Sioux Nation. Who was this fearless warrior and who were his people? Why did he fight? Why was the process of integration between white European settlers and American Indians so terribly complicated? Why am I saying “American Indian” instead of “Native American”? All of this and so much more in today’s enlightening and entertaining epi...
Nov 13, 2017•2 hr 43 min
The most highly decorated Marine in the history of the Corps, Lewis "Chesty" Puller won five Navy Crosses, a Purple Heart, a Silver Star, the Army Distinguished Service Cross, five Presidential Unit Citations, and more. He fought for the Marines in Haiti. He fought again in Nicaragua. And then again in WWII. And once more in Korea. And then, at nearly 70 years old, he tried to fight in Vietnam! He was a fearless soldier, a courageous and talented leader, a loving father, a devoted husband, and j...
Nov 06, 2017•1 hr 27 min
Who killed five people for sure and possibly many more in central California in late 1968 and 1969 and then taunted the entire Bay Area with letters sent in to the press revealing details of the crimes only the killer and the police would know? Who sent in threats of more violence and strange cyphers that if decoded would allegedly reveal his identity? Someone killed again and again and again, all the while daring the police to discover his identity. And they got away with it. Who is the Zodiac ...
Nov 03, 2017•2 hr 45 min
Welcome to a Halloween edition of Timesuck! Have you ever felt like something in the shadows was watching you? Something ominous. Have you ever woken up to the sensation that a strange, dark, presence was in your room? Or, have you actually seen a shadowy figure, darker than the night around it, a menacing human shape with no eyes or, ever worse, red, glowing eyes? If yes, you have encountered a shadow person. But what even is a shadow person? A demonic entity? An extraterrestrial? Some astral t...
Oct 30, 2017•2 hr 45 min
What actually goes on in the Bermuda Triangle? Do more ships and airplanes disappear within it’s borders than they do anywhere elsewhere? And if they are disappearing - where the Hell do they go!?! Who or what is to blame? Nature? UFOs? Some electro-magnetic anomaly? Lucifina? Let’s find out as we suck deep and hard on this multi-faceted mystery. Allow your mind go to both the strange and the scientific in this two-sided and surreal edition of Timesuck. This episode of Timesuck is brought to you...
Oct 23, 2017•2 hr 37 min
At roughly 3:00 AM, Nov. 13, 1974, twenty three year old Ronald Joseph "Butch" DeFeo Jr took a thirty-five caliber Marlin rifle and executed all six members of entire immediate family in their sleep at the family home on 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, Long Island. Strangely, all were found lying in their beds with no signs of a struggle. How did the rifle not wake five of them up after the first victim was shot? A little over a year later the Lutz family moved into the same home and 28 days lat...
Oct 20, 2017•2 hr 32 min
We go REAL dark this week on Timesuck with an examination of Russian serial killer and relentless sadist Andrei Chikatilo, a monster who killed between 53-56 men, women, and mostly children between 1978 and 1990 in Southeastern Russia in horrific eye-removing fashion. I also delve into the psychological reasons we are interested in serial killers. Why is true crime so popular? Why do we love it? Turns it out it's totally mentally healthy to be fascinated with this nonsense. So enjoy guilt-free! ...
Oct 16, 2017•2 hr 38 min
Four dead bodies were found on July 1, 1981, at 8763 Wonderland Avenue in the Laurel Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles. It was the most gruesome LA murder scene since the Manson murders of 1969. Within days, America’s most famous porn star, John Holmes is suspected and brought in for questioning. Get ready for a tale of murder, coke, porn, more coke, a giant dick, and so much more coke, today, on Timesuck. Timesuck is brought to you today by Chubbies! Pre-ordered their new outerwear collection ...
Oct 09, 2017•1 hr 28 min
Timesuck sucks itself in this special 1,000 review bonus edition of Timesuck! Why did I create Timesuck in the first place? Why did I get into standup at all? Where was I born and raised and by whom? I reveal more about myself, my history in standup, and what I hope to do with the Suck than I ever have before in this special episode for true Timesuck fans only. If you've never listened to Timesuck before, start on a different episode and this one later. If you're a member of the cult of the curi...
Oct 06, 2017•2 hr 34 min
What happened to Amelia Earhart on July 2nd, 1937? Where did Amelia and her navigator, Fred Noonan, disappear to? Amelia was due to land on Howland Island, 1700 miles Southwest of Honolulu, on her almost completed quest to become the first female pilot to circumnavigate the globe, and then she was suddenly gone forever. And for the last 80 years, the US government, historians, explorers, and conspiracy theorists have been looking for her. Her life examined and various disappearance theories expl...
Oct 02, 2017•2 hr 32 min
What led 39 people to kill themselves in a desperate attempt to board a spaceship in 1997? Why did anyone believe that Marshall Applewhite, a former choir director, was the Second Coming of Christ, and that he would fly his faithful to Heaven via a spaceship that was hiding behind the Hale-Bopp comet? So many questions in this episode and not all of them have answers. Enjoy the strange, strange ride that is the Heaven's Gate Timesuck. This episode of Timesuck is sponsored by Felipe Esparza's new...
Sep 25, 2017•2 hr 40 min
America's 26th President went from an asthmatic child to a weightlifting, boxing, mountain climbing, book writing, lots-of-animals killing, calvary rough riding, NYC police commissioner, war hero, author, conservationist, Amazon explorer, and dude who didn't let a bullet to the chest stop him from delivering a campaign speech. He's Teddy Motherfuckin' Roosevelt. He's this week's fascinating edition of Timesuck. Please rate and subscribe and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on I...
Sep 18, 2017•2 hr 42 min
So much crazy in one episode. In 1692, the residents of Salem Village became obsessed with the idea that the Devil himself was in their midst and that he was being helped by an army of witches looking to bring down all of New England. A special court was created to bring these witches to justice, and residents were hanged because another resident claimed they saw them doing witch stuff in a dream. A dream!! So nuts and one of my favorite, if not my very favorite, episode of Timesuck so far. Enjo...
Sep 15, 2017•2 hr 46 min
The Department of Homeland Security. The enduring military occupation of Afghanistan that began as Operation Enduring Freedom and the Global War on Terror. The Transportation Security Administration. The Patriot Act giving law enforcement agencies unprecedented search and surveillance powers over US citizens without a warrant. The second gulf war in Iraq. All the legacy of September 11th, 2001. Terrorism and heroism, tyranny and patriotism, facts and conspiracies; all get sucked today, on Timesu...
Sep 11, 2017•2 hr 44 min
Richard Kuklinski once shot a man twice in the head on Christmas Eve because the guy owed him $1600. He beat a kid to death with a closet rod when he was 13. He strangled, stabbed, poisoned, shot, bludgeoned, burned, exploded and allegedly otherwise destroyed up to 200 men. Find out what made the Iceman tick and what finally brought this murder machine down in a very intense and graphic episode of Timesuck. This edition of Timesuck is brought to you by Marc Maron's new Netflix standup special "T...
Sep 04, 2017•2 hr 44 min
Recent events in Charlottesville, VA reminded me that the KKK is still around. I realized I've never thought much about who these people are. When was the KKK founded? By whom and why? Why are they still here? Why are people even racist in the first place? All of this and more gets the deep suck on today's Timesuck! This episode of Timesuck is brought to you by the fantastic Dollar Shave Club! Go to www.dollarshaveclub.com/timesuck today and get their badass Executive razor handle, four stainles...
Aug 28, 2017•2 hr 33 min
