Late Discovery Adoptee Dr Syb got tired of being mad. At times she felt she didn't want to be here - in this place or lifetime. So what did she do? Listen in as we go deep into healing. Profound. Empowering. Just like we love these conversations. Dr. Syb is an educator by birth and a journalist by choice. She is a Vanderbilt educated, Harvard trained, two-time Emmy-award winning journalist. She is currently an Associate Professor of Journalism at Belmont University in Nashville, TN where she hel...
May 03, 2023•55 min•Ep. 295
Here's the links I mention towards the end of the interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/self-love-for-adoptees https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQ Growing up, Black transracial adoptee Rebeccah Carlson hated the colour of her skin. She hated her hair and her lips. She would dress in the dark to avoid looking at herself. So how did she go from this to self acceptance? Listen in as we explore what she's learned and continues to learn. Rebeccah Carlson is Board Vice Ch...
May 02, 2023•52 min•Ep. 294
So many of our feelings come from subconscious thoughts. That's a challenge because we can't deal with what we aren't aware of. Listen in as we explore adoption trauma and awareness. Get insights from people in the constellation that don't normally feature on the show. Birth mom Ashley Vite and daughter of an adoptee Kayla Vite are life partners and host the Adoption is podcast... "We are here to give a voice to the men and women who have had an adoption experience." Listen to the podcast here: ...
Apr 28, 2023•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 293
Working with a therapist involves making ourselves vulnerable. Putting ourselves in their hands. Accepting their authority. Emma's therapist abused her trust. Time and time again Emma ignored red flags as her intuition warned her off her therapist. Listen in as we explore this and how you can become aware of the red flags you've seen. Other people can't know us like we can know ourselves. There are no gurus. So we have to become our own. Take what works from others and leave what doesn't. Empowe...
Apr 27, 2023•50 min•Ep. 292
Our motivation away from pain is far stronger than our motivation toward pleasure. That's why painkillers outsell vitamins. But what if we are - completely innocently and inadvertently - prolonging emotional pain? Listen in as Vin and I unpack this to relieve shame, insecurity and all those painful feelings we don't want. Vin runs a Facebook group where adoptees and adopters can learn from one another in a friendly and no conflict environment. Connect with him at: https://www.facebook.com/vinado...
Apr 25, 2023•46 min•Ep. 291
We've been through tough stuff so how do we adoptees grow? How do we learn from our mistakes? Listen in as Andres shares some of his learnings from both adoption and being diagnosed bi-polar. We explore who we are beyond our story, labels and psychology. Here's a bit about Andres "My name is Andres, and as an adoptee, I created The Adoption Door to help people understand the experience a little bit more. I am building a community around this concept because people have a lot of questions and ans...
Apr 24, 2023•59 min•Ep. 290
Like many of us, Daryn was underprepared for the emotional upheaval of reunion. Listen in as he shares learnings from reuniting with his birth mother and some of the different activities he's done to heal. We go deep on understanding who are, and who we are not. This empowers us to step off the treadmill of seeking approval from others. Here's a bit about Daryn from his website: Hello! My name is Daryn Watson, and I am a reunited adoptee. My adoption reunion journey began in 1995 at the age of t...
Apr 19, 2023•58 min•Ep. 289
So many of us adoptees feel so many painful feelings. Suppressing them leads to explosions later on. Numbing them through alcohol and drugs often leads to more pain. Fighting them never leads to peace. So what does? Listen as transracial adoptee Abby sheds her light on finding peace. Abby was adopted from Bogotá at the age of two months and grew up in a small suburb of New York City. She received her bachelor of science in human biology from the State University of New York at Albany and her mas...
Apr 18, 2023•57 min•Ep. 288
There's pain and beauty in adoption. Donna like she's been healing her whole life. But coming out of the fog was a shock to her system. Listen in as she shares her insights on an expanding awareness of her self. That's where the most profound shifts are happening that are powering on to a better life. https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-joseph-6a277a6/ https://www.facebook.com/donna.joseph123 https://www.instagram.com/iamdonnajoseph https://www.facebook.com/donnajosephsearchingfortruth/ Guests and...
Apr 17, 2023•52 min•Ep. 287
How do we heal is one of those inevitable questions that come up after we come out of the fog. Listen in as Cindy and I explore practical steps to heal and principles to help us along that journey. The distinction between healing physical v emotional wounds is particularly beneficial. Here's a bit about Cindy from her website: “I was adopted at 3 months and have always known. I have always had the desire to know my story and my identity, and my parents fully supported me. Trying to get my record...
Apr 14, 2023•47 min•Ep. 286
We adoptees have so many questions! And international adoptions often throw up so many more especially when records are so sadly lacking or non-existent. Listen in as Yael shares what she learned handling ambiguity, letting go of overthinking and much more as we get to the heart of reunion decades after an international adoption. Here's bit from from Yael's website: There comes a time in every adopted person’s life when they want to know the answers to some questions. What drove my birth mother ...
Apr 13, 2023•42 min•Ep. 285
Fighting abandonment, grief and loss is for many of us, a deeply ingrained habit. Pamela's 27 year relationship with alcohol was a big part of her fight. She shares some of her life changing insights on the road to sobriety and finding happiness within. Pamela Karanova, an adult adoptee, living in Lexington, Kentucky, was born in Waterloo, Iowa, in 1974. Although Pamela’s roots are scattered all over Iowa, she considers Kentucky to be her home. Pamela is the President of a National Nonprofit cal...
Apr 12, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 284
VL felt, as so many of us adoptees do, like an outsider. She was also adopted into abuse. Listen in as she shares what's helped move past this to forgiveness and letting guilt go. V.L. Brunskill is the award-winning author of the Savannah novel Waving Backwards and the forthcoming memoir The Killing Closet . She is also a blogger at adoptionfind where she shares lessons learned from her (pre-internet) adoption search, and her journey towards spiritual healing. In addition to her personal blog, V...
Apr 11, 2023•47 min•Ep. 283
Transracial adoptee Gina grew up in a very white part of the USA. Racism was part of her daily life. Listen is she shares her insights into getting clear about who she is, bravery and confidence. Here's a bit about Gina and the background to her interview: The child welfare system can be a labyrinth for foster children and adoptees - a maze built around sometimes inadequate research, poor information and ideology. What passes for "normal" assumptions about families and "healthy" racial identitie...
Apr 10, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 282
Doug almost died when he was 5. When he found out he was adopted at 6 he took that in his stride. What on earth do these two things have to do with one another? What on earth can we learn from this to help us be happier? Listen in with big ears. This is a BIG episode! Here's a bit about Doug from Amazon "I lost my adoptive mother, and my adoptive father has since remarried. However, I always felt a longing to know more about my biological family. I discovered that I may have a sibling somewhere....
Apr 07, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 281
Identity is tricky - to say the least - for many of us adoptees. For late discovery adoptees it can be a complete nightmare. LDA Fred's identity was swept away. So how did he find out who he really is? Listen as Fred shares his learning curve and see how that could help you along yours. There are lessons aplenty for all of us - not just LDAs. Here's a bit about Fred from his website. Fred Nicora has followed a path of unexplained restlessness ignited by undisclosed triggers in his efforts to fin...
Apr 06, 2023•51 min•Ep. 280
Hypervigilance — the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you — is often the result of a trauma. No wonder it's so common amongst us adoptees. Listen in as Jools and I explore it and becoming comfortable in our own skins. Here's a bit about Jools from her website: I am an adoptee from the “Baby Scoop” era. I spent more than 25 years searching for my biological origins in Australia- from the US. The last piece was put into place thanks to Genetic Genealogy. Since then, ...
Apr 05, 2023•40 min•Ep. 279
Our volcanic eruptions of anger threatens to burn us alive. Gut wrenching shame threatens to engulf and drown us. So how do we survive this rollercoaster of a life? Listen in as Carolyn shares what she's learned - and continues to learn - to heal. Carolyn or Patricia as her birth mother named her, was born in April 1959, in the historic English town of Stratford- upon- Avon. She was the first daughter of Pat, a young secretary and dancer who met her father while working her first seasonat Butlin...
Apr 04, 2023•55 min•Ep. 278
The powerful emotions we adoptees feel can sometimes threaten to overwhelm us. So how do we get past those feelings? Listen in as fellow adoptee and podcaster Jennifer and I explore trauma, deceit, identity, mindful awareness and much more. Here's a bit about Jennifer from her website: Hi, I'm Jennifer who is an adoptee in reunion with both sides of my birth family. I have been connected with the adoption community for over a decade and am always interested in hearing the personal stories of ado...
Apr 03, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 277
How can we love ourselves when we don't know who we are. Listen in as adoptee Ron shares what he's learned about his genetic identity and history to get closure. We also talk about busting the belief we are not loveable. Ron Levi (1964- ) was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan and raised his family in Centennial, Colorado for eleven years before returning to Michigan in 2007. Mr. Levi is a Senior Project Management Professional and Entrepreneur with over 30 years of experience in technical sal...
Mar 31, 2023•55 min•Ep. 276
Finding our own worth can be tough for us adoptees. And yet it's vital for self esteem. Listen in as adoptee Elena and I explore this vital topic from both a religious and non religious perspective. Elena S Hall is a LMSW, adoptee, author, and speaker who has a passion for adoption advocacy that stems from her faith and family. She loves to write, dance, sing, and tell stories. Her goal is to aid those in the adoption triad to promote healing and growth... https://www.facebook.com/throughadopted...
Mar 30, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 275
What's the difference between sabotaging ourselves and protecting ourselves? How do we stop sabotaging ourselves? Adoptee, adoptive parent and psychologist Chaitra dives deep into this area so we understand what's going on and get out of our own way. Here's a bit about Chaitra from her website: Since taking my first psychology class in high school, I knew that this was the field in which I was meant to work. When the Columbine High School tragedy occurred so close to home, I became dedicated to ...
Mar 27, 2023•48 min•Ep. 274
Birthmother Cathryn Vogeley went through hell. PTSD messed up her mind. Listen in as she tells how that mind got blown. In a good way. To help her heal. Understanding what she went through will blow adoptees' minds too. In a good way too. Listen in as we talk unconditional love and ending our feelings of separation. Cathryn Vogeley was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania during the post WWII baby boom. She earned a Master’s degree as a nurse specialist and treated hundreds of patients with chronic ...
Mar 24, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 273
Bob Saul was born in Chicago, IL and grew up in the Chicago area and later moved to Colorado. A graduate of Colorado College and the University of Colorado School of Medicine, he completed pediatric training at Duke University Medical Center and genetic training at the Greenwood Genetic Center. He is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health Children’s Hospital-Upstate and the University of South Carolina School of Medicine – Greenville, Greenville, SC. He has two grown children, Bradl...
Mar 23, 2023•49 min•Ep. 272
Shame is toxic. So how do we let it go? Laura shares some of her story and insights to help us heal through an understanding of what birth mothers go through. It's an incredibly powerful episode. Listen with big ears. Savour it and feel the love. Here's a bit about Laura and her book from her website: My book is about Laura, a woman who lived her life with her secrets finds her greatest secret unearthed at age 67. The child she was forced to give up for adoption when she was 17 in an Unwed Mothe...
Mar 13, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 271
Trauma is scary. Of course we adoptees have been through trauma and experience it when triggered. So we desperately want it gone. We want to be FROM trauma. But what we focus on gets bigger and what we resist persists. What if we could be free WITH it? Listen in as we explore this... Here's links I mention Bullying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBsDhBu7eUY&t Healing my primal wound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ Molly McCaffrey goes as M Hendrix (she/her). Born in Baltimore an...
Mar 10, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 270
Do you compare yourself to others? Then beat yourself up for doing it? Would you like to forgive yourself for that or being angry? Would you like to love yourself more? And see your true self? Listen in as transracial/international adoptee Amanda shares what she's learning about what really matters to us adoptees. Here's the videos I mention in the interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyGZE9WXIg8 Here's a link to Amanda's Instagram https://www.in...
Mar 09, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 269
Usually it's us adoptees that doing the searching for our birth mothers and fathers. But what if they find us? That's what happened to today's guest. Christine's biological mother found her! Listen as she unpacks the tricky emotions and events that followed to finally find some peace. Christine Murphy lives in Saratoga Springs, New York with her husband and three children. She works as a Speech Language Pathologist helping special needs children. Christine was adopted by a loving family in 1969 ...
Mar 08, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 268
We all want to love and accept ourselves. But how can we do that when we don't know who we are? What else gets in the way of us loving ourselves? Listen in as Diane explore the truth of who we are, what comes after the fog and much more in this empowering episode. Here's more about Diane from her website: Diane Bay has had a lifelong, unquenchable creative drive. It wasn’t until she entered her fifties that she discovered where it may have come from: her artistic birth mother and birth father. T...
Mar 07, 2023•58 min•Ep. 267
This episode is a bit different and experimental. Listening back to it, I'm a little hesitant and fumbling. I start by reading a poem about my diamond and we talk about self worth. Kay is far more together and clear. I hope you get something from this. Kay wanted to be anonymous to protect herself and others. Here's a link to the webinar replay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ Here's a link to the book by mentor https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T G...
Mar 06, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 266
