**PREVIEW. PATRONS ONLY. SUB FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS ** We're about to turn Hiroshima into HiroSHEma, OKAYYY???? Welcome back to our Barbieful Dark Twisted Fantasy-- we reconvene in the sweltering heat of Chicago summa to let our brains cook and let the takes fly like the free birds they are. We have a LOT of ground to cover this evening folks: we discuss our rapturous experience at Beyonce's Renaissance tour, and review Greta Gerwig's billion dollar BARBIE. Spoilers ahead, so ...
Jul 27, 2023•10 min•Ep. 144
They feed us poison (Vegetables) / So we take their "cures" (Wellbutrin XR) / While they suppress our medicine (Diet Dr Pepper) Live from the top of the food pyramid, it's Thot Topics! We pregame for the Beyonce concert by once again talking about our inability to feed ourselves properly, but there's so much more TEXTURE to it this time. We also review a big weekend of new music, from Ice Spice to Slayyyter to NewJeans to Britney. Join us in a few days for our super deluxe BARBIE review and RENA...
Jul 24, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 143
**PATRONS ONLY** SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it... We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'! We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel...
Jul 15, 2023•6 min•Ep. 142
We the ijbol, in order to form a more perfect union, find these justices in contempt of CUNT! Ready to hear the wind whistle through the skulls of two gay guys as they attempt to form a cogent opinion about politics? This week, the girls unpack the week's big Supreme Court decisions. We heard the jury was hung so we HAD to investigate. Gay websites and gay wedding cakes, affirmative cracktion, and student loan debt are picked apart and snacked on. Naturally that's not all-- we predict whether Tw...
Jul 06, 2023•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 141
*PATRONS ONLY! SUBSCRIBE TO THE THOT TOPICS PATREON FOR ACCESS TO THE FULL 2 HOUR EPISODE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS * Get in faggot we're going to Arby's! This week, the girls convene unda da sea to discuss all things sub-marine and on dry land! For starters, we cover all the new music that's come out since we last had a girly little chitchat: Kim Petras's "debut album" FEED THE BEAST, the Barbie soundtrack, and quite a few more hits and misses. And that's not all: what the fuck is going on with...
Jun 27, 2023•10 min•Ep. 140
Live from the deep slayyyte, Chris from CuteAnon joins us in the studio and we have a total caBALL! I'm just a mole, sir! I'll keep it real and say that this is just some good old fashioned gay guys talking over a couple of cold ones. Isn't this what you came for!? With a little help from Truth or Drink, we really get to know each other in a wet and wild way. Pillow fight!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC , and the official pod Twitter and Instagram . Take us to Adrenoch...
Jun 13, 2023•1 hr 50 min•Ep. 139
**PREVIEW ONLY. FULL 2-HOUR EXTRAVAGANZA ON PATREON!** Welcome to the jungle baby!!! We're finally back in (monkey) business and ready to swing from tree to tree! This week, we come to you bearing a double-length episode that's all about FAME, CELEBRITY, STAR POWER, and FUN!! First, we review the new HBO series THE IDOL: is Lily-Rose Depp a good actress? Would that "I'm Just a Freak" song be a hit? Isn't it kind of gross to smoke a cig in the SAUNA? Things get heated... Then, we execute a brutal...
Jun 09, 2023•4 min
You already know what time it is! We asked the Thot Topics community to pick up the phone and buss open their inner worlds-- and boy did they deliver! Over the course of this double-long extra thick episode, we hear the homosexual and female voices of listeners like YOU and get to the bottom of everyone's most pressing issues. How can you get gay guys to ogle you to make your girlfriend jealous? When everything seems to be going just fine and you're still unhappy, what's a hoe to do? Do your fri...
May 26, 2023•2 hr 9 min•Ep. 138
**PATRONS ONLY** We return to the booth with clear minds and open hearts, ready to do a little bit of Matty Healing. Love WINS! This week, we have a big girls' cocktail powwow to discuss Taylor Swift's pivot to NAZISM after fraternizing with KNOWN PORN WATCHER The 1975's Matty Healy. What does this mean for Taylor? Is being a porn star empowering or degrading to these people? What are Inuit people? Nick gives Cris a crash course in Cum Town/Red Scare history. Next, we discuss Kim Petras's Sports...
May 19, 2023•9 min•Ep. 137
Pretty hurts... and ugly kills 💔 RT if u cry everytime... We're back! This week, the girls take to the stage and channel their poise, beauty, grace, and tact to see how well they'd fare in the face of the Top 25 most commonly asked Miss Universe interview questions. From role models to world peace, we put our heads (and breasts) together to find an answer that will please the judges. But that's not all: we wonder what the fuck is going on with movies right now, pop a fat bottle of champagne, do...
May 11, 2023•2 hr 18 min•Ep. 136
It was a slow news week AGAIN (let's fucking look alive people!!) so we decide to turn to the world of social science to discover what sort of surprises lay in wait. Brought to you by THEE original diva-doll Isabel Myers-Briggs, this episode features the girls diving deep into their sick and twisted psyches to find out which of the 16 personalities describe them best. Could we be E for Extra Juicy, or I for Ignant? Could we be S for Sexy, or N for... Nevermind Could we be T for Titillating, or F...
Apr 24, 2023•1 hr 57 min•Ep. 133
Not a lot of topics this week... we went in with a game plan I swear! This week, we convene for a wine-drunk Girls' Summit and discuss everything that's on our sick and twisted minds. Honestly, what DON'T we cover? The difference between people who come out in high school vs college, the Super Mario Movie, this spring's new and very off vibe, being more famous than Bob the Drag Queen, being clockable, using hotness to get ahead in the world, PUSSY HOLE BY DJ NASTY, and SOOO much more. We get pro...
Apr 08, 2023•1 hr 52 min•Ep. 132
**PATRONS ONLY!!** Subscribe for full backdoor access. I mean backstage access. Or do I? Hey girl! Did you know that uhm. There's a tunnel under ocean boulevard?? Believe it or not we thought we were going to have time to talk about the TikTok ban and school shooters LOL! This week, we deliver the definitive two-hour-long deep dive into Lana Del Rey's new album. In a track by track evaluation, we assess the good, the bad, and the fugly: and deliver some takes that we really think you're gonna ha...
Mar 30, 2023•20 min•Ep. 131
OOF! We take our big, feathery female investigative journalist hats off and place them FIRMLY on the rack this week in the name of hot, wet FUN! This week, we forgo all reporting and take-making duties to play an intense game of TRUTH OR DRINK, revealing more personal details than we ever have in our podcasting careers. I don't want to spoil anything but we get literally so wasted on this episode and I don't remember anything we said so I can't be held responsible. Maybe you guys can tell us wha...
Mar 20, 2023•2 hr 35 min•Ep. 130
**PATRONS ONLY. SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL LENGTH EP!** We just got HIV!!! WOOOOOO! Ayyy! The boy's a liarrrr! Oooh! The boy's a liarrrr! HEYYY!!! This week is all about sin: who's got it? Who wants it? Who's taking it out on consenting unconscious adults? Only one podcast has the answers. Following a brief State of the Podcast address, we get down to business. First, we psychoanalyze the HIV Twink. Is it cool to have a yassified response to a diagnosis? Should HIV be treated like gonorrhea? Are certain...
Mar 10, 2023•12 min•Ep. 129
We've come together for an emergency session to address the end of the word "mother" and the woman who delivered the death blow: Meghan Freakin Trainor, Queen of PAWGs. Naturally that's not all: we discuss the pathetic state of everyday mens' fashion, the Chicago mayoral race (including a heartfelt tribute to our muppet queen Lori Lightfoot), and how to say various cuss words in sign language. We give Kali Uchis and rightwing bodybuilder Twitter a piece of our mind too. Is it evil to drink liquo...
Mar 02, 2023•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 128
We're back with a vengenace! (We're=Onika,Vengeance=Burger) We know we left you ladies hanging last week so this week we're unleashing a double-wide super-soaked hot-and-horny God-fearing two part special. We've accepted a truly prime list of topic suggestions from our listeners and get to the emotional heart of whatever mentally ill behavior went down online the last few weeks. The first chapter is free for all, but if you want the FULL tea, you'll have to join the Thot Topics sisterhood offici...
Feb 23, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 126
It was a slow news week so we decide to take the cultural temperature-- by performing an in-depth review of the current Top 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. What does the presence of Bebe Rexha mean for America? Is Miley Cyrus "Flowers" astroturfed or do people really like this shit? Does mummy know that daddy's getting hot at the bodyshop? ALL is revealed. But that's not all: we christen Cris's new apartment and talk gnocchi, firemen, sniffing snuff, specialty donuts and OF COURSE... MAGIC MIND! Fo...
Feb 02, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Ep. 124
PATRONS ONLY! You wouldn't get it. Subscribe on Patreon for the rest of the episode. In our iciest and spiciest episode yet, we hold a bookkeeping powwow ahead of tax season: why didn't anyone tell us we were supposed to set aside money from the Patreon to give to the government? It's not like JOE BIDEN stuck out his fucking NECK to tell the truth about Tinashe... With the chips stacked and the coins counted, we turn to the news in Gay Guy World. First, we review the new Kim Petras single "Brrr,...
Jan 27, 2023•18 min•Ep. 123
We're back-- and this time, it's pussonal... In this double-wide spectacular, we let out a lot of extremely complicated, unique, and sexy emotions: RAGE: We talk about the unjust cancellation of Betsey Brown's Actors screening at the Music Box Theatre, and psychoanalyze our haters. ENNUI: If your parents raised you to love fast food is it ever possible to learn portion control? REGRESSION: Are children's movies like PUSS IN BOOTS and its "highly realistic cat panic attack" actually designed for ...
Jan 19, 2023•1 hr 52 min•Ep. 122
**PATRONS ONLY. TRAILER FOR THE POOR!** In our inaugural episode of the Year of the Rabbit, we get little crazy and Asian up in here! It's RICH! First, we have a little bit of much-needed girl time: Nick tells the story of his engaygement, and Cris recounts his trip to the Camein Guylands. Plus, we discuss Apple's behavioral issues, and not caring about the environment. But that's not all: we give our first impressions of the "lovely ladies" of Season 15 of Drag Race (it takes longer than we int...
Jan 12, 2023•7 min•Ep. 121
Dear Thot Topics, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'! I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone and I'm a bottom! In our final episode of 2022 we take the crisis calls of our beloved, deeply troubled listeners. Talk about a therapy sesh! Let us in those ears mama! We talk about getting over your fear of gay men, how to date when it seems like all gay guys are libtards, giving up on monogamy, dropping the R word in the workplace, and SO much more. Cheers to the new yearz baby! Follow the g...
Dec 30, 2022•2 hr 10 min•Ep. 120
There should be an option for me to tag whether or not we got drunk for the episode because it's honestly way more offensive than "strong language" We're back to run a 2 hour long Meghan train on your earholes with the week's most riveting topix. (It was slim pickings honestly but I think we did okay.) First, we review the nefarious homosexual finale of THE WHITE LOTUS and decide what secret homophobic messages Mike White is trying to whisper through the ether. THEN, we talk about the tidal wave...
Dec 17, 2022•1 hr 45 min•Ep. 119
The girls are girlinggggg! Welcome back to the newly expanded Thot Topics lounge! Unbuckle your girdle and take your panties off because it's about to get extremely raw up in here. Sorry to have kept you waiting so long but we promise we won't leave you again for the next set of holidays... This week, we allow the Patreon sisters to be our memory for the last two weeks and we chime in on everything that's happened: the Grindr IPO, the nonbinary luggage thief, Spotify Wrapped, our potential pivot...
Dec 01, 2022•1 hr 57 min•Ep. 117
Sowwy (〃＞＿＜;〃) We're on a little unexpected turkeylicious holiday hiatus but we'll be back in your little ears ASAP! In the meantime, we're cracking open the vault to tide you over: this is our Patreon-exclusive episode with Zach from I'm So Popular in which we rank Nicki Minaj's discography
Nov 27, 2022•2 hr
{Batting a home run} It's giving... giving... GAAAAVEEEE! Things get a little spicy this week and the spice in question is Sporty! From deep within the pussy part of the Venn Diagram between straight men and gay men, we talk about what separates us and what unites us. Sports! Sleep patterns! Being goofy and silly! And so much more. In light of the midterm elections in Illinois, we also talk about which women we would show up to the polls for if they were running for President. What say the girls...
Nov 10, 2022•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 116
When Adele turned 25 all she could come up with was "Hello". We made this episode, so CATCH US IF YOU CAN BITCH! We're back! It's been a minute since we've had some private girls time so we take a moment to catch up on our personal lives as we both gear up to enter our dreaded mid-twenties. We reveal a hair care SHOCKER, report our own fashion crimes, and think about what makes you a grownup. We attempt to cover some actual topics, and we do sort of touch on two: we review Rihanna's new stinky d...
Nov 03, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 115
She jack my ant til it off... she jacks on my antonoff til i... uhhh Alright, it's another patrons-only one this week-- not because we don't value ALL our sisters equally but we get pretty drunk during this one and name drop a lot of people we went to high school with so we've gotta put this one in jail. We're joined in the stu' by friend of the pod MORGAN for our scathing assessment of Taylor Swift's new steaming slop pile. We reach inside and pull out the TRUTH! But baby you know that's not al...
Oct 24, 2022•39 min•Ep. 114
This week, we attempt what is likely the most difficult challenge in the history of the program: we comb through a bracket of Lana Del Rey's discography and attempt to crown ONE SONG as the supreme. All factors are considered, all truths are weighed, and we think you'll love how the dust settles. Or maybe you won't. Sue us! But naturally that's not all. During the 40 minute long preshow (lol) we discuss Nick's vaccination tweet and FOLLOW YOUR GUT NO MATTER WHAT 2023. Not only that: we do a stat...
Oct 15, 2022•40 min•Ep. 113
What if Trump's platform in 2024 was bringing back tops that suck and slurp on bussy lips... We've just completed negotiations to be Lena Dunham's pallbearers when the horrible day inevitably comes, but in the meantime we've convened for a high-intensity GIRLS CHAT! This week, we pull a Jeffrey Dahmer and gobble up the news! Yum yum yum! First, we talk about the obsession with true crime and why "real" violence just isn't cutting it anymore-- IS it healthy to spend all your free time listening t...
Oct 04, 2022•1 hr 50 min•Ep. 112
