WHIP IT

Paul from John.

John Well, Hi there, how are you?

I'm doing all right anyways?

Right now?

Why just all right, John.

Well, in all seriousness, this year has been bad, really really bad.

Tell me why.

It really just started in July.

But it's an issue that's done in my life for like three four years. I fell in love with this girl.

It's stupid, it's really stupid. I met her on o'megel and I fell in love with this girl and her pretty much almost stated for like three four years, and we reconnected and we blocked each other and we reconnected every single time, but every time I got back into contact with her, we just instantly go back into love.

I'm sorry, i'mna let you finid. I want, I'm gonna let you finish, but I do have questions.

All right.

Yeah, every time we reconnected, we felt instantly back in the love, like there was literally nothing that either of us could have done to make each other not want to be with each other. We in our soul like we literally cannot be without each other. And it's just it only resurfaces every.

Now and then, and it really hurts because I just.

It's it's so hard to put in the words. I I don't know.

If I even have a reason to love her. I don't even know if I should keep it.

Real quick hmm. I want you to know, and this is this is an unpopular opinion, but I believe it with all my heart, and I'm not I'm being being genuine right now. I know I've been meming a lot, but I'm being very genuine right now. I don't think, okay, what you said that it was weird, right mm hmm? What was what? The fact that you met on a megal was weird?

Yeah, just the fact that we met on omegle like she lived in Arkansas.

And I think I think that's okay. It's not weird. It's not weird because look, the the the way in which you meet people is irrelevant. Once you've met, you've met, you've been connected. The fact that it was on a megal it doesn't matter at all. You are now in connection with another person. The fact that you happened to find out about each other through a megal, it doesn't matter at all. So that's not something to feel weird about.

Yeah, that's true.

And I just wanted to point out just like.

Because like I know that everyone in chat is probably be just.

Like, did this guy's bullshitting?

Nobody fucking falls in love with someone from but like.

People fall in love on a megal all the time.

Yeah, I don't a lot of friends who actually are still dating from Omegel.

See your friends got you went to and you know, look, it's too perfectly legitimate. So I don't think it's that's even a factor. And whats your problem is that she lives in in you know, freaking Mars and you live on the sun.

You know, yeah, that's that's not the problem though.

What's the problem.

The problem is.

That I'm on the the down end of reconnecting with her again. She I'll just give you the cliff Might's version.

It was it was July, late July, me and her, we have gotten back into contact, and I couldn't fucking believe it, but we scheduled, we scheduled a date for us to meet. We had she bought the plane ticket. She literally spent one hundred and seventy dollars to come and see me.

She sent me the fucking screenshot.

Okay, and literally literally just a week later, we've been talking every single day and.

I was just so excited.

Me and my family were about to go on vacation per week, and then after that vacation, we well, I had planned to go pick her up in the airport, and then basically what happened was the moment that.

I got to to the island where we were gonna go vacation, the moment I got to the beach and set my feet on it, I received a text from her that said I need the night to myself.

I'm sorry, And then after that she blocked me, and I later found out that she went back to her abusive ex boyfriend.

Of about two years. And the part that kills.

Me is that he abuses her, he urates her, He fucking puts her down, never spent any time with her. Always, gaslights are always, stonewalls are every literally every bad thing.

And I tried as hard as I could to get her.

What's what's what's what's your name? I'm John John? How old are you?

I'm twenty.

John. Yeah, I say, this is your friend. If you're my friend, this is what I would tell you in life. Sometimes you just got to take an l and move on. And you and you know what, this is part of your life experience. Okay, this is not anything I don't you know, people people might meme on you, but I don't think this is this is unnatural. Okay, you're gonna live and you're gonna learn. But you've leaved John. You you experienced this, and now it is time for you

You got fat.

And you're gonna be better for it.

The reason I called you because I've been trying to give myself that L all summer and I can't get her out of my head. And I've been trying to give myself that L every time she blocked me. Past four times, and I haven't been able to do it. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm going to find someone who's going to be better for me than her.

Oh, don't don't do that. Don't do that, don't do that. Don't do that, don't don't don't.

Try to.

John?

What else you do with your So?

What do you do?

What do you hold on?

John?

Hold on?

Hold on?

Hold on?

John?

M John?

I know you're upset. Yeah, I get What do you do?

Well?

What do you do all day.

About?

Are you in school? Do you have a job.

I'm I'm I took a semester off, but I go to school and for a day job.

I guess you'd call that.

I'm actually a professional wit maker, Like I make the woosh crack, like I make whips.

I make up whips. That's fucking awesome, man.

I have a whole TikTok and everything.

See John, John, I I feel I feel like a lot of the trap that a lot of people get into. I've gotten to this trap myself. I've talked about this a long time, but but a lot of trap a lot of people get into is they don't have anything else in their life that makes them independent, that makes them happy independent of being in a relationship. So they seek out a relationship to make them happy, which fucks them over so hard. And I don't know you very well.

I know that truth.

I've told myself that truth every night.

Is that if I want to ever be happy, I need to have my own life apart from somebody that I love. I need to have this love in tansient with in conjunction with that success.

But I can't.

I can't be happy without hurt. It's like every single time I get.

Into a relationship, I only think about how it compared to her.

John, stop dating, stop delete, delete your tender account, don't go on a megal, don't do it. Just just focus on the whips. And it's by the way, it's gonna be hard, and look, the only thing it's gonna heal us, I believe is time and putting effort towards a thing that will make you into happy independent of this girl. And it seems like you've got good stuff going on. It seems like you got you got the whips. I love the whips thing. The whips thing is sick. This

John?

I don't mean this.

John, No, it makes total sense.

It makes total, complete sense.

It's just the fact that I am, without a doubt, one.

Of the most helpless romantics that exists today.

And I who you are like not survive without having love?

Like that's like okay, So John, hold on, John, John, John, I you gotta go. I I I probably should go, but I want but I I fucking everything you said. I have a Look, that's something you decided about yourself that you need love. You don't, You don't have. You have no idea if you need love. Because the thing that is out there that isn't a relationship that will make you realize that you don't need love is something that you you don't know about yet because you haven't tried.

Before before I go.

The reason the reason I.

Called you is that I wanted to ask you how am I supposed to get the falls to tell her?

No? You don't have to say I don't want you to speak to her again. Don't tell her no, don't just block, just move on. Block her, delete her on all the things, delete your own Instagram if you have to get off of social but go take a week in the woods, do whatever you gotta do. Don't, don't even I don't even have a conversation. I hate this girl. I hate her. She she she she fucking she fucking cross you, John, she And you know what, that's fine, it's not your fault. Okay. I don't think you're a

John.

I'm like, go to Taiwan.

But all I'll say to you before I go is, if I ever get to the point where I can live without meaning love, God help me.

God lives in a giant house in the sky and he's not coming down to help any of us. But John, I love you very much and I wish you the very best. And I hope that you block that girl and everything and never talk to her again. And I hope that you go to Taiwan. I hope you learn archery and by the time you're twenty five, it will be absolutely drowning and pussy.

I love you so much, man.

I just found you on Reddit. I'm gonna go follow you on Twitch.

Beautiful. Good night, John, Thank.

You very much, thank you, good morning.

And welcome to Therapy Gecko. Why at Gecko? A lot of people ask me why at Gecko, and I don't have a good answer for that question. The best answer I got is that I had a Gecko costume. It's really it. I wish I had a better story than that, though I wish I had something where like, you know, when I was six years old, I had a pet gecko and it kept me, you know, calm during my mom's divorce and ever since that. But I don't it's not anything like that. I just had a gecko costume

How From Helen Daily.

Hello, Colin Daily?

Oh hello, what's up?

I don't know. I'm kind of tired.

Oh cool?

Why do you think that's cool?

Yeah? Yeah, it's weird because I'm watching you right now and like there's a delay between what you're saying and what's going on over here.

Oh, mute your stream. Mute your stream, don't. Don't do me a favor. Are you on your laptop right now? Yeah, go close your laptop and just be on the phone. Don't look at the stupid don't look at the chat because you don't look at the chat. Just look just we'll be on the phone.

This is.

So, Why is it? Why is it cool that I'm tired? And I'm not saying that as I'm not saying that accusatorially. I'm actually very interested because you seem like because if I say I'm tired and you say that's cool, it seems like you're actually looking at what I'm looking at as a negative thing as a positive thing, and I'm trying to get into your head and trying to, you know, absorb your optimism so I can use it for myself.

I guess just I'm tired too.

Is that cool?

Maybe? I don't know why. I guess it was more of a proverbial cool.

But yeah, what do you mean by a proverbial cool?

I don't know, just like I don't know.

Yeah, what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

Probably? Damn, I don't know, man, probably the high school?

High school?

What?

What? How old are you now?

Twenty?

Now? What was so bad about hies? I know you probably know you? Hold on, are you nervous right now?

Goong?

What are you? Are you feeling nervous right now? You seem a little nervous a little bit.

M hmm.

Then take a second here, it doesn't matter.

All right?

Why was high school so bad? Why didn't you like high school?

Calling most of my stepdad.

Your stepdad?

Yeah you there, yes, ah, yeah, but I don't know.

He just kind of fucked with me. I'm painting right.

Now, by the way, what are you painting.

Right now? I'm painting some something that's probably not going to be allowed on Twitch.

Tell me about it. It's a trap, you're painting a trap? Yes, what kind of trap?

A stalfo?

A what.

Alfo?

Can you say? That's us.

As t A s t o l f o.

L s oh ast astolfo?

What is that?

Well, that's like this character from an animal And I'm doing like some like at art. But it's more for the meme than the anything else than though.

It's for the meme you say.

Yes, for me, painting is just ship posting onto a canvas.

When you say it's a meme. Yeah, so you're you're painting this person to be funny. Yeah, well you're painting them naked.

Partially?

Are you attracted to this character? And but I'm by you know, look, don't be don't be you know, I mean, you know, be as be as private about your your interests as you want, but you know you don't have to be quite about it. I mean, I've you know, we've all been sexually attracted to, you know, fictional characters before. I used to have actually, you know, my very first

Oh my god, yeah, no, this is I don't know. I have dibbled and dabbled a little bit, but.

I don't know.

I prefer real people.

So you're telling me there's zero sexual interest in this drawing that you're creating right now. You're strictly creating it with delicate, specific, accurate proportions that correlate with your personal fantasies of a spotty that you're sexually attracted to.

I mean, whenever I do do a drawing, right, I always like the thing about it is, if you have the drawing that you're making, and it's taken you forever to make, then you no longer become sexually attracted to it after so long, just because like, it gets boring sexually.

It gets boring sexually because.

Because it's like the same exact pose, same exact person and everything that you're just looking at for so long.

Mmm, so you get it becomes a little monotonous, a little tedious, and less exciting. So what do you do then?

I mean, then I just continue painting, and then I just finished the painting and then done with this. I mean I did do with something that was like on my calculator where I just like I found out all the formulas and everything just to get like a pair of anime titties on that calculator, just tons of maths. But yeah, at the end of the day, that was not arousing because it took two months to do.

So you did it for memes, So something I understand the concept. I can get behind the concept of something initially being driven by sexual arousal but over time being divulging into you know, into memes. Yeah, okay, yes, you know. When you're done with the picture, you know, feel free to send it to me.

Thank you, I will.

I love you, Colin, I love you too. Good night, good night. Well, he was dying to get off the phone.

Awesome.

Hello, Hello, how are you?

I'm good?

How are you? I'm good? How are you.

Just chilling?

You know?

That's cool.

So how's your day?

It's good? How's yours?

Pretty good? Try calling in and Google Voice started pulling the purge on me, rambling saying it was hanging up. At the same time, it told me to record my name. So you know.

That's weird.

Yeah, I'm just having dissociation, you know, vibing with life.

You said you're this, you said you're disassociated, disassociating?

No, not really like you know, just does it matter?

Where do you associate with? Whom do you associate in the to begin with?

Who do I dissociate as?

No?

Who do you associate with? What do you associate with?

Well? My entire identity is built off my cat, uh, because I love my cat and I support her and want to protect her, and that's pretty much.

What is there to protect her from.

A lot of foxes and stuff. You know, she's a barn cat.

She's a bong cat.

Yeah, a barn cat. Yeah, I mean the cat kind of does, but not really.

Who else is in the well? You know what's interesting is that if you live in a barn, I'm assuming you're around a lot of animals.

Yeah, I guess so chickens, a cow, and a donkey.

Bees.

I'm a beekeeper and now of all these animals, Oh, let me, I have a question about bees. Actually, so you're a beekeeper, do you feel do you are you connected to the bees? Do you feel like do you feel sort of. Oh, do you have a relationship with the bees in the same way that you have a relationship with your cat?

So I mean not technically, because you know, bees have a pretty short life span. Spends on the time, but some die around like yeah, eight fifteen days. But the problem, the really cool thing is bees recognize your carbon dioxide signature, so when you open a hive and breathe out on them, they can actually become accustomed to you as a person.

Interesting. So you might not love the bees, you might not grottach to the bees, but do you think maybe the bees gro attached to you in a similar way. Oh?

No, the bees hate me. They try to sing me every time because then I go in, I rip their hive apart, and you know, from their point, I'm killing them all. But from my point, I'm giving them food.

But do you think that you that well, it sounds like a sort of a God type relationship. I mean, we pray to God, we worship God, but sometimes he comes down to earth and kills us with you know, disease and hurricanes and cancer, which.

Is the disease.

But the bees, I wish I could.

Yeah, I feel like if they thought I was a God, then they'd do what I want more, but instead they just suck around.

What do you want them to do?

I want them to not swarm. I want them to stay in their hive and stop dying. And they don't want to do that. They're evolutionary programmed to just suck around and die every spring.

That doesn't make sense though, that there how can you be programmed to die? There's the whole point of evolution that you get new things to help you not die.

Yeah, the problem is that they're evolved to live in the earth and then they come out and all these pesticides are besides New World everything called an ajor beekeeping is over. So now they go out and they do these swarms, which are the macro organism of the hive splitting in half. Right now, there's nowhere for the other half of the hive to go.

It's kind of sad. Let me ask you another thing. Do you ever do you feel? Do you ever feel remorseful?

Remorseful? I mean, I feel bad about my mistakes, but not remorseful. I don't think I've done anything too fucked up to be remorseful.

Do you, Well, don't you don't look at what you're you don't look at destroying and killing bees as fucked up.

Oh, uh no, because you know, I recognize that it means to a greater end, because you know, I got to kill a couple hundred bees when I do testing for verroa, a really bad mite. But I'm saving literal millions of bees. The entire ecosystem of the region I'm in depends on my mother and I hives.

There's a lot of responsibility.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

That's a lot of responsibility.

Yeah, it's nice. Though these are cool. We don't know a lot about them. They're some of the most complicated organisms on Earth, and researchers know absolutely nothing about them.

All right.

But they don't know nothing, all right. No, they know a little bit about them.

But the thing is, if.

I read you the Wikipedia page of the bee and it was blank, then that would be nothing. But they know, like you know, death, between what you know about be and what I know about bees is would take a lifetime for me to fill. Wo I'm maybe like three months. How long would it take for me to know everything about bees that you know?

Uh, depends on what course you'd taking it in. I apprenticed under a master beekeeper, and I'm now at journeyman levels, So that's probably take you about two years if you did it every day.

See, but there, how can there be how can we not know anything? We know enough about bees for there to be a goddamn master of bees?

Yes, well, my black.

Guy is a god keeper.

Yeah. So the problem with master beekeepers is that a lot of what they know isn't about bees themselves. It's about how to take care of them and how to work around their quirks. When we actually go and research why do queens do this weird mating call? Why do they respond to this pheromone? Why do these produce these comes? We don't even know why they chill outside their hive.

Every day.

Because they're.

Yeah, they do this thing called beard where a bunch of the workers will basically just coagulate on the front of the hive and just chill there for the entire fucking debt. And we have no goddamn idea why that's so dumb?

I love if science stopped there, right, if you were like, why do bees fly? Why do bees do this? Because they're dumb ass bees?

Like?

Why do birds fly in a v for me. Yeah, they're fucking shitty ass birds. Yeah, that was like in books, that'd be awesome, that would save us.

Man, I wish it was like that. I'm an environmental science student, so like that's literally the dream.

Yeah, imagine filling out in a test, like you know, why why do chimpanzees get attracted to certain pheromonia when exposed to Because they're dumb little chimps, so they don't matter. And then you get an a.

Yeah, no if they do what they do? Mad respect?

Mad respect? Would you say your name.

Was River.

River? Your name is River? Yep, your name is River the Beekeeper?

Yes, sir, that's cool as ship.

Thanks.

My mother's name is Brooke and my name's are derivative of that. So we go and we look exactly alike too, So we get Brooke and River the Beekeepers, Brooken River.

Where can I buy some? Do you do you independently sell honey or some ship?

I mean yeah, but where can we buy down in Virginia?

There?

We just sell at farm like farm fans.

But can I order some?

I don't think you can because like we got a real limited supply this season, we probably won't be selling anyone.

Well you know. I hope that whoever does get your honey enjoys it.

All right.

Thanks, thank you absolutely, River.

I love you very much and I do.

Believe that, all right.

I love you too, together forever in the time, I hope. Yeah, I hope the bees love you.

I hope so too.

Good night, River, good night.

Pull from Alex.

To accept prep Alex.

Hello, hello, Alex, Hello, Hello Alex.

Okay, I need your advice, all right, hit me Alex.

Okay.

So I recently, so I have two rats, right, and then I decided impulsively that I was gonna buy two more rats. However, one of the rats turn out to be a female and all the rest they are male, and now I can't house them together.

How many rats did you buy?

Not enough rats?

Okay? So you can't house one female rat with how many male rats?

Three male rats?

Like?

I feel like they're all just gonna like, you know, like I already have four now, and if I have a if.

I have like.

They if she has babies, it's like sixteen rats.

So why did you get any can you have the rat? Neotered? What are you getting these What are you getting these rats for?

I'm really lonely and like my rats like bite me sometimes because I think I scared them when I tried to like change their house. So that just gives me like a lot more warmth than I had before because COVID.

Okay, so you got rats to keep you company, but the rats bit you. Yeah, why do you think they bit you, Alex.

I think I scared them when I tried to move them into I got them a bigger cage so then I could put a lot of like hanging toys in there so they can climb. Because one of my rats was getting really fat because he just like he liked to sit and pee in the same spot. It was just there was so much pee, and like I just had to get a mobile, you know.

But so you just but you just bought. So you just bought four rats. You bought three female you bought three male rats and one female rat.

No, I bought two male rats, and then they got into like you know, they grew up to big boys. But I got two more because they're gonna be feed rats. And I felt really bad. But then the one rats turned out to be a female because like when they're small, you can't see their like balls. Because when they're older, their balls are like huge.

How many rats are there total in your house?

There are currently four rats, but if the female rats pregnant, then there's probably like sixteen, but like a couple of you know, they're like cooking them.

The more friends you have, more friends, you're gonna be like Cinderella.

I'm gonna no, no, no, I'm gonna lose my fingers if they like get if there's any more, going to bite off my fingers because you know, I try to get them treats. No, I try to get them treats, but then like my fingers smell like the treat and then they try to eat my fingers, and then I think I stress them out and then they try to bite my fingers.

Why did you pick rat?

For?

Let me ask you another question. Why did you pick rats? Because so far, the only information I have about these rats, not about specifically your relationship to these rats, is that they bite you. Why the rats as your as the as your your.

I picked rat.

I picked rats because they're like, I don't know, there's just they're just like such big boys. I just want to like put rats. I just want to like carry rats around on me, like specifically my head and just like have them like mest in my hair because I have long hair.

I respect that.

So I just wanted to have but I want to have.

I mean, these guys are biting you. They're biting your fingers off.

You are hungry, all right.

I don't think I've I apologize as because I've I've veered too far away from your central dilemma, which is that you have a female rat and you can't have with three other rats? So what do you do? I mean, what else can you do? You gotta.

You gotta?

Oh, all right, I have I have a variety of options for you, Alex, tell me what.

You think of these?

Okay, lead them out.

You could give one of the rats a sex change and then have two separate things because because you wouldn't want to put the female rat alone.

Because well, I think like removing their balls? Does that? Isn't that a sex change? Or is that just muttering? What's the difference for rats? Is it mental?

I have no idea?

You know what?

Where's that? Where? Who's who's the what happened to the mammals? Specialist? Caller? She knows this.

You're the therapist. You should know.

Why would I know that?

More?

Than the we had the mammal doctor called where's the mammal doctor, Where's the kangaroo girl?

The kangaroo doctor?

No, I think, I think.

So the problem is and the only time they can they can rip my rats uterus out of her body is in December.

And that makes why why why in December?

Because COVID I I don't know, maybe you know.

Was the thing about you getting an appointment? I thought it was like you can only get rid of in the month of December.

Yeah, only when the stars are specifically aligned in this year's December is one. Rat uteruses can be hard, yeah, And so like now I'm like waiting and they're getting so big, and like I housed her with her brother right now, but he like tried to like he like mounded her a couple of times and had to like shoot him. I was like, oh, don't do that, you know, like, oh, don't do that.

Get off.

Alex. I think you know, do you know the concept of the monkey circle?

The monkey circle?

Yeah, the monkey circle? No, basically all right, let's say you had one. Let's say you had a monkey, right, so you had a rat, yeah, and the rat you know, you raised the rat and you love the rat that got to become a big boy. The rats scurried all around in your head and over your hair, and you named it and you loved it. And then one day the rat died.

Would you say that?

Hold on, well, hold on, let me finish. He's very sad, right, yeah, but let's well, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's say you add one hundred rats. Right, So you had one hundred rats that you cared for and your race in like, you know, sort of a scaled fashion, right, and then one of the rats died. Would you be You'd be You'd be sad, but not nearly as sad as you would be with just a one rat.

So you're saying I should get an exponential amount of rats to what I currently have.

Well, actually, I was going for the idea that you should only have one rat because it'll make the bond more special. But I actually like your interpretation better. It's a way to be sad, So I think you should actually get you should get more rats.

Okay, you know what, I don't new to her. Instead, I'll just make sure she gets pregnant and then I'll just I'll just like let them roam free in my house instead of keeping them in a cage and then instead and then I don't have to worry about it, because then, like if they do fuck, there's so much room for them to have children. I'll just throw the rat food on the floor. I like it, so then they can eat it and piss on it.

Well, Alex, I think, you know what. I think that we did a good job because we came in here with a with a problem, and we came out of here with a solution.

I know this is honestly, everyone's been trying to give me advice, but like this is the only advice that I needed to hear.

Beautiful, Well, Alex, I love you very much. I can't wait to hear more about your rat brothel.

Okay, and well, I won't call you anymore, but I do love you and I love my wrath.

You have a good night, Alex. Appreciate you going on here.

Call from build this?

What's up?

Buildings? How you doing?

Hey llo?

Love your show man?

Thank you man, I love you, Thank you.

Hey man.

It's real fitting that you're in a Shibuya there with this corona thing. I went to Japan right before all this, and you know I was planning on taking another trip. Japan was kind of my place. I loved being there. So yeah, I was thinking, Man, what's a guy like me supposed to do? You know, in lockdown here in the States, whenever you know, Japan's you know.

The place to be.

Well, you know, look, you can do what I kind of did. I mean, you can go on YouTube and you can google to walk through of Japan and then there's all these you know, hour two hour long videos of people just walking through Japan.

Yeah.

You ever get like, uh, you know, I feel like you're trapped here, you know, you can't travel?

Oh yeah, but I mean that's what I'm doing right now. I'm traveling virtually. I mean, that's you know, it's beautiful here. We're connecting with I'm connecting with you. I don't know where you live, but you don't live in my basement. I here from my basement. You're in Texas.

See I am.

I'm traveling virtually to Texas right now to interact with you.

My god, I got a beer for you. I got a little Kyrie in here.

I got one more for you.

I'm drinking it. We're hanging out pretty much, we're hanging out. You live in Texas. I live somewhere indistinguishable, and everyone watching this lives in a bunch of different places. You know, we're traveling right now, baby on the computer sounds good?

Great, man, Well if I can get a two for one here, always Wow, you believe in aliens, man, I don't.

I you know alien? It doesn't bother me. You think you're looking an alien?

Yeah, you got a big head.

I do have a big head.

But that's a compliment. That's a compliment.

Well, that's up. It's I you look up.

You know.

To be frank with you, at the end of the day, I feel like I will I'm the one that interprets whether or not I take it as a compliment. But I but I mean, you can tell me what you intended it as.

Sure.

Sure, and you intended it as a compliment. So I'll take it as one because I because because you've given me enough information for out the duration of our call that you know you're a kind hearted person. So I believe you.

I believe I get that a lot.

So let's get a three for one here. When people say you're a one hearted person, yeah, they say you're a kind hearted person. How do you keep on going through life being a kind hearted person. Whenever you don't get what you want.

That's the that's why, you know, I try to avoid labels. You you know, it's good to be nice, right, but you never want to be.

You know.

I feel like it's you don't want to be known as a nice person because when you're known as a nice person, you people expect you to be a nice person all the time, right and then and and that's when you start getting fucked because no one's nice all the time.

Mmm right right, all right, man? Well thank you, all right, Well I'll let somebody and need some help get on here. Thanks, free time.

Absolutely what that was a beautiful nice little three for one. Thank you for for coming in. That was that was a steal.

Thank you.

I owe you too.

I love you man, you take care all right, you too? By that was by the way, that was the nicest. That was so beautiful than that. What a beautiful human being that just called into this show right now. Hey, gang, is a quick message from the Therapy Gecko to let you know that if you enjoy this podcast, if you enjoy these conversations, if you want to make it easier for me to be able to do more of this in the future. The best way to support is to go to www. Dot Patreon dot com slash lyle forever

Call from Aaron.

To accept, press one to send of what.

Aaron, Hello, a or with an E.

It's like a a ron.

Ron.

Yeah, like that joke that I've been hearing for the past seven years.

What the joke from the from the from the from the Sketch, Comedy Central show, from the comedy show. Yep, people say to you, Aaron, that is a joke at that I heard in comedy show on YouTube. I heard the joke on YouTube. It's comedy YouTube, and I would tell you joke a Ron, It's funny. I saw on the on YouTube on the computer.

Yep, Yeah, almost exactly.

Like that, do you think the computer should be illegal?

That is an interesting question. I honestly think they should, because I honestly think it contributes more negative attributes to society than good ones.

But I just went on that whole rant Aaron about how we're all connected and how everything is beautiful them we're we've democratized society into a bunch of mini calls as opposed to one giant cult.

I mean, yes, But on the other hand, dude, I'm such a pessimist. I just I just can't see anything but the bad, and so I just, if given the choice, would make computers illegal, even though I am addicted to them as much as anyone else.

So you know, what do you do on the computer?

What do you use the computer for?

Uh?

Mainly right now is research. I'm in school and so I'm researching for my senior seasons.

How are you gonna tell me that, well, okay, well I have a follow off to this back.

How are you going to tell me that that you use the computer for bad things? And then you and then tell me that you use it for research.

I never said I use it for bad things. I said a lot of people use it for bad things. Or maybe I did. I don't know.

Really, I'll be I want you to be fully honest with me here. Oh are you? Are you undergrad? Uh?

Yeah?

Okay, because undergrad is because if you were like graduate, I'd be like, all right, this guy actually gives a fuck about school. A lot of people in undergrad they don't give a fuck about school. You're just there to be there. But do you actually can what percentage of what percentage of your computer use, be honest with me, is productive.

I'd say about seventy five percent.

Seventy five percent.

Yeah, the other is twenty five percent.

I just.

I don't know. I spill through Reddit way too much.

I I'm having such a hard time believing you because I really you don't like look at porn or go on Instagram or buy video games on Steam and not play them.

I do some of those things, but when I'm trying to do my school work, I try and stay focused on school work. But I mean, like seventy five percent of the time, yeah, like I said, the other twenty five percent that's when I go and reddit.

That's pretty good, though. I'm still I don't believe you, but I'm gonna go ahead and believe you, for the sake of our conversation. So you think it should be banned because other people use it unproductively.

Yeah, Like, we've had so many opportunities to do so much good with the Internet as a collective, but more often than not, humans are selfish by nature, and we do selfish things that ultimately just lead to the downfall of our fellow humans. And so I just don't think that the Internet is worth it anymore.

Well, if the Internet was banned and we couldn't talk right now, dude, I mean, well, you couldn't do research. You'd have to fucking check out library books.

Honestly, at this point, I missed points to the library. You know, I had to move away from a university because of the whole fucking pandemic, and I'm just going to the library.

You can still go to the library.

Well, I can't go to the library at the university because I had to move away, and the libraries my hometown are only drives. So you can order the books online then and you go over there.

And pick them up.

Really, you can't go into the library, yep, Okay, But the Internet doesn't have to get banned for you to go to the library. You can still go to the library. I don't think that the Internet being banned would be productive. I'm having a hard time agreeing with you.

I can respect that with all the bad things, and that does do a lot of good. I just think that the bad at wasted good.

What is the bad that you see?

Well, Google steels are data. Facebook steals are data. The Internet is used to un to coordinate hate crimes. I remember reading about one recently, but I can't remember which one. And I just go down this rabbit hole of all these atrocities on the Internet, and it gets really hard for me to be the goodnit Okay.

Short, I mean, look, I but I mean that thing with like the Internet is used to coordinate hate crimes, but it's used way more to to coordinate. I mean, they're just coordinate fundraisers. It's used to coordinate. Like the percentage of good things the Internet is used to coordinate to hate crimes is I mean the ratio is is for sure in favor of of of the good stuff.

M M.

I I And look as far as Facebook have you know, having my data, you know they can do whatever they want with my dad. I don't care what you know. Websites Facebook and those I've been on. They can sell me ads. I'm never going to click on that. I don't click on banner ads. You're paying, you know, thousands of dollars to put banner ads in front of my face, then you're the dummy dude. But they can have it.

Well, man, if that's what you want, then you know, by all means. But like I said, give him the choice, I would just make it illegal.

Now.

Thankfully I don't have that choice, because were to become a legal you know, obviously a lot of people will get sucked over.

No, it would suck ass if the internet was legal. You know, look, you're you're oh, Look, I'm not gonna give you shade over here, but you seem like a glass half empty kind of guy.

Yeah, that's that right.

The internet's good, dude. Like, I mean, did you hear the call that we just had with that guy with Aaron? No, you're Aaron with the guy that we just.

Had, Yeah, I did.

That guy is gonna benefit from the Internet.

Yeah, let's post. So I haven't bet on your discord, but from all the things in the chat, it seems like a pretty good place. And so that seems like one of the pockets is good on the Internet.

No hate crimes here. What'd you say? Your name was Aaron. Look, before we go, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna give you a website to put into your computer bar, and then it's going to change your entire freaking life. It's gonna you're gonna completely do a full one eighty and you're gonna become an advocate for Internet conservation loss. I'm gonna give you a upset address and you're gonna put this in and then and then you're gonna get off the phone with me. You're gonna explore with this website

All right.

Man, Well you have a lot, you have a lot of addicting games to play. So I'm gonna leave you to it. All right, Thank you, I love you, Rian, I'll talk to you soon.

I love you too.

All from Alex.

Alex. What year were you born?

Alex?

What year were you born?

I was I was born in nineteen ninety one.

And how has it been ever since? You know?

It's been a wild ride?

I would say, you think so.

If you die, there's a real question. If you died today, if you fucking died tomorrow, would you be satisfied with the life that you lived, I think so yeah. Yeah, to be honest, Kim, I mean, run down what are the highlights?

I mean, I've been traveling the world for the past five years. And just move back to the US and where you've been.

Have you been to Chokyo in Cork, Ireland.

I have into Tokyo Island. It was crazy, you know, lots of light. There was a ghet air floating everywhere I went.

It was really disast insane. That sounds wild. Yeah, all right, I've been traveling everywhere.

For the most part. Yeah, I was. I was living in Columbia since twenty seventeen and then that's where I moved back from.

Now why what and now, okay, what were you doing before the world exploded upon itself because of a deadly flew?

Well, I was just working from my computer, chilling, taking photos, just living my life, you know, enjoying my twenties.

Really, I guess what you do on the computer?

So I do mama, marketing consultant for cannabis dispensaries in Colorado.

Well, and you just do that remotely while you go.

Yeah, well, now I don't do it, but previously, yeah, I was doing it remotely.

That's cool. You know, man, I've been thinking about this. I've been thinking, man, I could just I can't right now, but like I could just you know, put a gecko suit in a suitcase and have a little ring light and I could just do this stream at like eight o'clock in the morning in Thailand and it would be ten pm here and I could do the same exact thing that you're doing.

For sure, I don't see why not. And you know, I would assume you're overhead costs are gonna be a lot less than Thailand. Yeah, two hundred dollars a month for a little apart a.

Month for a little apartment is amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah, And so I have a question for you, all right, I have an answer for I might have an answer for you. I can't promise anything, but hit me.

What'd you eat for breakfast?

You want to be you want to be extremely honest with you right now. You want to go there? You want to go to a place I didn't want to have to go, but you head that you brought me here. Yeah, I had a Hrshey bar for breakfast. I mean it was the laughing why are you laughing?

I mean I would I would say it's not the most nutritional, but it's the most enjoyable, which is okay, it.

Wasn't enjoyable, it was let me tell you something about my sugar addiction. Uh huh, No, part of it brings me a pleasure. Yeah, well, yeah, is enjoyable to me. You know, when you're a child, you look at candy as something that as you look at candy as a positive experience. When you're an adult, you know, you look, I mean, candy's becomes you know, something.

You have to do, you know, yeah, I mean, but as a get go what does that do?

Gets me through? What'd you say? Your name was?

I mean, Alex?

It gets me through the day, Alex? Would you ever hear?

I right? What I have for breakfast? I had some yogurt in an apple. That was about it for breakfast, in a little.

Bit of water.

No Hershey bar, though, some yogurt and some waffle. You get a waffle? No, not an apple, an apple, honey crisp and apple. That's like the opposite of a Hershey bar.

But it had a lot of sugar in it. You know, there's that aspect. Don not refined sugars.

But we're not having this battle right now. There's no sugar in an apple. An apple is a real food that human beat that real people eat.

Okay, fair enough, And I would say, I don't know what a geckos eat flies, little insects and.

Things, flies, some sometimes vermin m hm, small squirrels. If they find the one that's dead, crawl up in its body and suck upon its teats.

Yeah, that's a that's a big gecko.

Then eat where? Tell me the best place where?

All right?

Once COVID is done, once we're done dying in hospitals on the streets, go where do you get one?

For me? Where do I go?

As a gecko? On't know? I really I really enjoyed Malta. That was a dope place. Every other very photogenic island.

Okay, someone write that down for in Malta.

Malta, you know you can you can talk to people about bitcoin or whatever they do there. You seem to love that there. Where else should you go?

Well?

Where have you been?

I've been all I've been all around Europe?

Okay, have you been to Bucharest?

Bok No, I haven't been to bulk Arest.

I'd say that's a good chill place.

Okay, I would go to bouch Arrest. Someone write that down for book est in Malta.

Put that down. Yep mm hmm. I'm looking at a map right now. I would say, maybe next you can go to Xingong, China.

Check that out.

China? What's in Zingong?

Wait?

Are you saying? You said that as if you have you ever been to Xingong, China?

No?

No, I'm just looking at a map on my all now.

So you're just giving me random places that you see on the map.

No.

No, Bucharest and Malta definitely good spots.

I have been there, okay, But see zing Zingmong, China, I've.

Never been there. No, No, I've never been there.

I don't want to go there because I'm scared. Because Alex, where do you see yourself in five years?

In five years, I ship man hopefully traveling again. That's up in the air, so I hope.

I What would you say to everyone? What would you say to everyone out there who is who feels like you know, they're wasting away their youth in the pandemic and that by the time they're old enough to travel, they'll be you know, you know, they'll be ancient. What do you say to them. What do you say to those people?

Look with this color, with this whole pandemic thing. You know, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to refine your daily processes. You know, whether it be waking up early in the morning, exercise, you know, whether your goal is to read one book a week or whatever it is. I mean, I would take this time to really focus on yourself personally, and that's what I've done, and just you know, take it day by day and write down these improvements.

That you're making every day.

And one little improvement every day will make a big improvement over a year and.

So on so forth.

You know what, Alex, You've inspired me. Tomorrow morning, I'm only going to eat half a hershey bar.

Well, I wish you the best of luck on that, and I half a hershey bar is a start.

So you seem like a self improvement guy.

Uh you know I I mean I've been trying. That's all you can do.

Yeah, I.

Feel that. So maybe one day I'll.

Be I'll have a getto suit and.

Be able to you know, fly around Egypt or something.

I believe you will too. I see that in you.

Well, I'm gonna let you take the next collar so other people have a chance to enjoy your Gecko net.

Absolutely, man, I love you, Alex, take care.

I love you too.

Yeah.

And before that, it was touts your roles. I have a you know how, you know the candy balls that people have in their offices. I got one of those, but it's on my nightstand and I got three of them filled one of each field. One is filled with regular to your roles. Another one is filled with vanilla toots your roles, you know, the Wanella ones that come

Enjoy all from Crewe.

Drew.

Hello, Hey, hey man, what's going on?

Dude?

Oh?

Right?

Oh?

I actually got through?

Yeah you did. Welcome here. We're about to put you on with Gecko. Wow. Do you want to say what your question is going to be before we put you on with Geck?

Go?

Huh what we're about to on? But no, we're putting you through on. This is the mass Mess where we're doing in mass mass Will you figure out what your question is?

Oh?

Okay, so just saying, like, for words, what your question is?

What is uh? Yeah?

That is three words? What is up? Gek? Okay, we're gonna put you three. We're gonna put you three in uh one two? Uh three?

Uh four?

And you are all right? You're on with Gecko. What's going on?

Drew? How are you doing?

Man?

What's your question tonight?

Oh? I don't know what's going on?

Maybe I should?

This is gek O. Can't you hear me saying this? Drew? But your question was what is up?

Drew?

Yeah, We're gonna put you back on in three two one, Drew?

Drew, Ay, there, I heard you say you had a question for me.

Hello, Drew, are you there? Call her?

What's your question?

Uh? Just asking what's it up?

Not a whole lot, Drew, Not a whole lot is up?

True?

This is one?

Yeah, put your cat on the line. Let's hear what she has to say. Is your wait? Is your cat interesting? Can you tell me a little bit about your cat's life before before? Because I want to know, because I want to prepare some things to ask your cat. But I want a little bit of information about him or her beforehand, so that I can ask interesting questions that are relevant to their experience.

Good call, Good call. You don't want to assume.

Oh, his name is egg plant. Got him for a little over a year now, since I had gotten from the shelter. Yeah, and he likes to run around and scream whenever anyone else does laundry in the building.

Now, did you name him after your most used emoji?

Nah, that's probably my least used, honestly.

Yeah, because I named my cat red Japanese nose mask.

Face pengu Is that what that's called?

I yeah, I feel like that's is that something? That's something you would know.

Me that was some bird person thing.

No, I think that's so true.

What's your relationship like with your cat?

It's a pretty good relationship. Excep running around streaming for no dang reason.

You have a question? Wait, Lyle, can I get it? Because I think you think you comment on this. I have a lovely ex who had a cat that scratched its stomach too much and was that was a problem. And now my friend ties roommate's cat has been scratching their ears too much and bleeding. There seems to be a lot of anxiety in cats. We're treating that almost paralyzes paralyzed parallels, you know, how like people are better at diagnosing anxiety and like add and autism and kids.

I think it is like pet pose active.

So you just want to medicate these cats and make them lose their driving creativity. Lyle, you're not you Lyle's anti pills mmmt.

I mean, I don't think you want to stifle egg plant. I mean there's a certain point, right, I mean, I think you got to give eggplant the energy to kind of I mean when they're running around and they're screaming, even if it comes, you know, to your annoyance. I mean, you're witnessing firsthand the process of them coming up with all sorts of new ideas and really developing and fostering themselves.

Yeah, Well, usually how I solve the problem is I just crumple up a piece of paper and throw it at him.

He loves that.

It's completely nuts.

That's fine, awesome.

How does he how does he respond to that? Usually?

Uh?

He usually like chases it around for like three minutes and then it.

How does he respond to the violence that you use?

Violence? What was that?

How does he respond to your projectiles? Is it fear?

My response?

Yeah?

Usually the cat, the cat is being bombarded with your wood pulp residue? Really?

Yeah?

Does he know it's just for play or are you conditioning to be on defensive? This instinct about fighter flight all the time.

Yeah, it's going to be an anxious cat when it grows up.

I think he's always kind of on the fight or flight. He's a wild animal. He doesn't know when to turn off the fight or flight?

Do you ever point a gun at him? I don't have a gun, so now good, But if you did, would you No?

I would not shoot my cab.

It's good. You had to think about it, though.

Not very hard.

Well you're doing well, I mean, well, okay, a piece of a crumpled a piece of paper is that might be the roughest projectile you have in your house.

Right, so now we're talking stone iron age.

That's okay. So I think that you should keep it like that because if you, I think you there's a possibility, right that you're defaulting always to the worst possible projectile you could use. So if you if you've brought a new one.

In, Little pig Boy says eggplant should be on the line. I agree with him. I'm sorry. I know some people like Steel Fixer, like Max get the GTFO, but I think I agree with little pig Boy that maybe maybe Drew is just a stone wall he doesn't know and the cat's got to come online.

I'll put let's talk egg plant, right all right, egg you want to say something in the gack.

What I plan to say you? He's he's frightened into silence. He's too anxious to.

Speak ste humans public speakings like one of the number one fears I wonder I want maybe that's probably at least four. But Eggplant, maybe it's crumpled up paper.

You know, right below dogs dogs, oh in the lawn merry law. You've clearly frightened him into submission.

Well, Athena says, maybe we should try me owing.

Max.

You want to give a you wanna you speak a little bit of cat, don't you.

Well it's not a language as far as I know. I think it's a just tones. But it's kind of like yeah, well.

Mhm mm hmm.

You know French, it's pronounced m I A o us.

It's seem interested.

How about this runs all me ouh it?

You know what it look if we just I you know what, Drey, I appreciate this, but I think if we don't, if your cat isn't sensing any you know, enough chemistry with us to even open up a conversation, I don't want to sit here and and you know, hammer over at this this brick wall. I don't want to keep going, you know. I don't think we're going to get anywhere with.

This Olong Johnson Kermit the fraud.

Yeah, he's just not talking to right now. I don't know what it is here.

Put him in a comfy harness and take him on walks outside.

Oh no, I don't have a harness. Get one for him.

He lost that.

Well.

Anyone out there who might be Christmas shopping for Drew anytime soon? Drew an egg plant, Drew an eggplant, Drew egg Plant. Thank you, guys for for calling in. I hope that this was of help help to you, and I hope that you're able to resolve the remainder of your domestic issues in the coming. In the in the days to come, people.

Should buy you a harness. Got go.

Yeah, I'll get my hardness big, but.

A big harness for Gecko would take him on walks.

I like going on walks.

Yeah, we could walk to get any big plant.

Okay, I don't get out as much as I'd like to. I get out, but not as much as I would like to.

Yeah, I know I could use the exercise too.

Good night, guys.

All right, it's nice hearing from Drew a neck plant.

You know.

All right, folks, we did it. It's another another episode in the bag. If you would like to call in to the therapy Gecko, you can go to twitch dot tv slash lyle forever every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at ten pm Eastern Standard time. Call me while I'm streaming and we can get it up, you know, get tell me what's on your mind, tell me what's not on your mind, Tell me what's up. Tell me what's down