WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

All from Jared.

Jared Wait, I actually get on this.

Yeah you did?

Holy shit?

Okay, well are you? Are you okay?

Yeah? Well, I guess my secret is that I'm a ghostwriter for romance novels. I think you really hate it.

You secretly really hate it.

Yeah, it's the only way I can make money.

Though, why do you hate it?

Because everything I create it just feels like a lie.

Really, you can't handle the fact that it's not you who's getting the credit, or that you're selling off your work as something that it's not.

It's just.

Everything I write. It's just such bullshit and every one eats it up.

Tell me about these things that you write? I mean, give me, give me. Do you have maybe a sentence of your writing that you could share with us that people always like? Man, I love that sentence, but you're like, the sentence is bullshit. I don't know why you like that sentence. You're an idiot?

Okay, Yeah, a sentence not profits?

Please God, I gotta think.

I guess there is this one scene. Fuck you. Of course, it's a fucking medieval fairy tale, and so you know, the Prince Charming, uh Watson. After I think it's either some kind of giant dragon or let me see, let's just say it was correct or a giant get go something that The worst line that sticks with me and haunts me is he looked at her with fervor less love and compassion and swooned her.

That hurts me.

I don't like that line because fervorless I mean, fervor is a good thing, right, It's like passion, and I have such fervor, so if like ferverless love, it would be a bad thing.

Yeah, that's not product.

That's a good No, that's a good setting for a scene because I think that works well together, the prince and the princess, because that guy just killed the dragon, or the knight and the night, the knight's girlfriend or whatever. That guy just killed a dragon, and I feel like if you kill a dragon, that fills you with I don't know, maybe some sort of sexual adrenaline, and watching someone kill a dragon also would fill fill me with or some sort of sexual adrenaline or desire for that person.

I don't know. Maybe I have that disconnects from it because after I'm done shooting a deer and gutting it, I don't want.

To go out and plow my girlfriend.

That's maybe that's just okay.

Well, a deer is a lot less sexy than a dragon.

Would you fuck a dragon?

No, I'm no, I'm not saying I would fuck a dragon. I'm saying that if I'm saying, do you know what sexual transmussion is? There's like a guy goes out and he kills a dragon and he's like, I'm I'm that may I feel so confident having killed that dragon. And then someone sees that and they're like, that guy killed a dragon that was really hot of him, and then that makes the two people want to have sex.

Okay, that's fair. I just I just never I've always had that disconnect with a lot of ship. All right, So that's fair.

Well, I'm happy I could explain it to you.

Thank you.

You have differ, never goes on the line, thinking your calls every night, everything, teaching.

Your Paul from Matt to accept Matt.

Hey, what's up?

What do you mean?

Uh? What do I mean?

You pieces ship?

I'm sorry?

Sorry? You never what what Matt?

What matter what you said?

You're gonna be mean? And I just wasn't prepared for that.

Because you weren't prepared. So here's the problem, Matt. You you prepared. Here's the thing, Matt, Matt, if you're gonna not prepare, you have to lean into it. You can't prepare to be prepared. You didn't lean in.

You don't.

I don't believe the anger at all. Like you could do a little better. I think a few accept little criticism.

What do you what do you mean anger?

I just didn't believe it.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

You seem pretty chill, you seem pretty relaxed. I'm not sure where's this anger coming from.

I'm not angry at you.

Oh we're back, baby. You uh, maybe talk about my secret?

Hey, Matt, Yeah, what's up?

What's your secret?

Oh?

Uh?

I used to.

We have this thing in the Midwest called metro mobility.

Do you know what that is?

No, it's a it's a ride share service. It's for vulnerable adults and they can get you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, they can ride anywhere around the city. For three bucks. Right. One time I backed into this the client's mailbox, and it was I got out and I was like, fuck it was it was like a metal pole and it was off about twelve fifteen degrees, like there's no way you're going to miss it.

And so I go.

Up to the door, just trying like coming up with a speech like you know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This guy opens the door. He's blind, So I didn't tell him. I didn't tell him.

And how did that? How did that make you feel?

At first?

At first? Not great, to be honest, But years later now it's I love telling that the people. Nice little anecdote.

Mm hmm.

You know, well, I guess if he was blind then.

Mh he might have to take you know, like a half step to the right or something. You know, maybe the first.

Time he doesn't quite get the hand.

Oh no, especially aesthetically right, mm hmmm. Does a blind man?

Oh go ahead, Well does.

A blind man need a straight mailbox?

Yeah? Not really.

I mean you didn't like take it out. He just kind of fucked it up a little bit.

Yeah, I just fucked up a little bit.

I think it was all right.

I think it was.

He gonna what did you think he was gonna make you do, like pay for it?

I don't even at all. I guess that, you know, you know I wasn't thinking obviously that wasn't part of the the math equation.

Ballda. He next time he goes to check his mail, he's gonna.

He might hit his knuckle on the wrong spot.

You know.

Actually, now you know now that you mentioned, I actually think it's worse that he's blind. No no, no, no, you mentioned I think it's worse, right, because here's what he's Here's the thing. He has this like he has the the what's what's the what's the word? The floor plans of his entire day mapped out mentally, spayually mapped out in his mind. And you fucked up where his mailbox is. So now I mean.

He where it is.

It's in the same point it was.

Like in the ground.

But then but then also you're gonna like, here's the thing he is, this mental map of what his day is. Like I feel like you're gonna ruin his confidence in that mental map because if like he's like, oh shit, something shifted with the mailbox. What else am I wrong about? What else do I need to go and update about my mental awareness of the under.

Getting older, getting older.

That's probably what you think.

Probably, well did he tip you?

Well, no, they don't really tip at all. I mean, that's kind of the thing. It's for vulnerable adults usually don't have a lot of money, to try to save them some money.

Well, that's some woul.

You say your name was Matt.

Matt.

I absolve you a Wilson, and I hope that you I hope that you enjoy yourself in the Kingdom of heaven when you die.

Okay, thank you, and also with you what oh yeah, thanks?

Okay?

Cool?

All from Joshua Joshua.

How old are you, Joshua, Joshua? Hold you, Joshua, josh josh you got your stream off?

I did?

I just did?

I just did. I apologize.

I'm so sorry.

You never have to apologize to me for anything ever. You don't owe me anything. You know what you could do right now if you want to. You could say no, I'm not turning my stream off, fuck you, and then turn it up louder. I'd hang up on you because because I also don't because I also owe you nothing. I don't owe you the call, but you don't owe me turning off your stream? Does that make sense? We are we have no debts to one another.

No, we don't. I mean I've been here for a while on your streams for a couple of months, and I do always somethings are taking the time of my life. It's a good time away from me.

Great speakerphone right now?

No, all my AirPods wt me.

Change No, Look, Joshua, josh what year were you born?

Ninety seven?

Ninety seven, that's when I was born.

Huh, yes, I was born, no lover nice unto.

Many spoiling No, I'm just kidding. I was born. And uh, when was I born?

I was?

When was I born? Josha? What's your secret?

Oh?

It was really a secret.

But I didn't have a conversation. I want to I want to share with you. That was my weekend experience.

Your weekend experience? Yes, yeah, tell me please.

So I want to visit a friend of mine who lives in Pennsylvania. It doesn't matter what area, but to go see.

Him, all right.

And I went out with a friend of mine I should say acquaintance of mine, and uh, we didn't hung out too much, but we have mutual friends, but I was just sure, I'll.

Drive with you.

So we got out there Friday night, and I mean, you know, we had a couple of drinks. We had a good time, and Saturday we went out and had a better time. But it ultimately ended in him getting arrested. And I try to stay far away from police encounters along that line, play in the field, the field I studied in my future career. I try to say that out of that.

And the law.

Yes, yes, And he ended up pushing a police officer.

What happened to him?

Yeah, he got tackled by three officers and got arrested. We had a batre amount of jail.

In three.

Okay.

So the point of me telling you this is I graduated from college last year late at twenty twenty, and I tried to avoid the police cower. Like I said, like, how should I have take? It was an awkward drive home. There was a really awkward drapt hoone because he drove. He got arrested, and.

I tried to how the fuck did he That motherfucker's lucky he left that night? What the fuck? How did you even leave that night? Yes, I was not in jail forever immediately, or I.

Like to believe that it's because he was I'm out of states and he was super belligerent and they just wanted to kind of teach him a lesson. Put him in jail cell. We picked him up, and they kicked him out. I feel like Polo, not.

Try that's insane. How old? How old is he?

Yeah, he's twenty two, a year younger than me.

That's bullshit, that's crazy.

I agree.

And so you're asking what you should have done?

No, not really what I should have done, because I did not want to get involved, and I did that. That's I did what I wanted to do and not be involved, So I got no trouble. But the question is and what I'm questioning myself and how should I further our friendship? Should I try to, I guess, not make a mess?

Your sound moron?

Yes he is a moron?

Yeah, yeah, I.

Think you should do something else.

What do you mean to do something else?

Lucky moron? But he's moron?

Yes, yes he is, and I agree with that totally. But I've known him for a while. But we end up hung out and tied about two years because I was away at college and I came back within a year, okay, and we kind of try to reach into our friendship. I mean, not that it was died out. We just kind of fell off, fell off and then me coming back to this, like, do I just tell them, hey, like we're not going to be friends anymore, or hey, you got to change your ways or I don't know what I should do.

Uh, you gotta change your way? I mean I don't think you have to do anything. Man Like hmm, you said you what do you? What do you do with your life right now? You said this is a friend from home, right, yes.

Yes, and I didn't I didn't move I can move back home. I graduated in twenty twenty, okay, and then I moved out.

Are you planning on leaving home? Are you planning on going somewhere else?

I did plan on going. I did plan going somewhere else, but other stuff happened in the hospital for a while, and right now I am unemployed because I'm not clear into working with therapy.

I'm injured.

I would just stop hanging out with this guy. I don't think you need to make it to a big, big, big deal. I mean, look, you stop hanging out with this guy for your own benefit, because it sounds like you don't really want to. It sounds like he has different values than you. It sounds like you could spend your time better than hanging out with I mean, I don't know if you like hanging out with them, do whatever you want, but I mean, don't feel don't never

Yeah, yeah, I understand that, Yeah I do. I do. But also a part of it, like, it's not I don't feel obligated either, because, like I said, we just kind of reconnut it recently, so it's not like we've been the bestest of friends for the past ten years. We're good of friends like four years ago.

Well, look he didn't get shot in the face.

Yes iron, yeah, yeah, that could have been really bad.

So whatever happens to him is a bonus.

That is true. Yes, Josh.

Well listen, Josh, good luck to you. Choose your friends carefully. Uh, live your life according to your own values. Make sure to think of God and all the sacrifices he makes for you on a daily basis. And eat your vegetables.

And I love you.

I'll talk to you soon.

Of course.

I love my broccoli. I always do.

I appreciate it.

Have a good nightmare you true?

How from this guy?

This guy?

Right? Hey, Hey, what's up? Man's what's up with you?

Me?

All out? Pulling your phone number for a while?

Now?

How are you?

Oh?

Is there anything you want to talk about?

Uh?

What's tonight? The secret? Right, it's the secret, dude, ha ha, brother, I'm a I'm about uh well, I'm not gonna do it today or anytime soon, but I'm gonna I'm gonna take somebody down for killing a dog and leaving the scene. Mm hmm.

You're gonna take somebody down.

Well, put a hurt and on them. I'm not gonna kill anybody or anything like that. But uh, you know where I'm from, you don't. You don't run somebody's dog over and just take off.

Did somebody run your dog over?

Not mine, a good close friend of mine. But it doesn't matter who it was, you know, it's it's it's you know, it's a dog, somebody's pet.

You know, how are you gonna take them down? What's your plan?

Well, I don't have a plan because my old self would would just walk in the front door and start beating heads. But uh no, I'm just gonna sit back and wait for a while, figure out where they are, figured out where they live, that sort of thing.

All right, So you don't have a plan.

Uh, well no, because that's that's uh, you can't really say your plan, you know what I mean?

Okay, you have a plan and you're not saying it, or you don't. You you don't have a plan.

I have probably a million. But it just just happened yesterday and we finally found when this person lives, and so now it's you know the slowgan you know.

Well, listen, here's the problem with vigilanteism is that what happens if you you know, you're trying to slay down the law. But all right, what happens if you get the law laid down on you?

Mm I no, I agree with you.

You're right, which is why you wait?

What are you waiting for it?

Uh?

Time?

You have to let time task.

You can't. You can't go straight after somebody exactly after something that happens, because.

Then you know, you wind up you get caught that way.

I know it's silly, it sounds like it sounds like vigil antias stud nod, but it is. You know, you go to the cops with this kind of thing, it doesn't really play out.

No wise, have you had an experience like that so far where it didn't play out? Uh?

Yeah, yeah yeah. I've always come from the type of place where you just kind of do things on your own, you know.

Okay, how has that worked for you in the past? Fine situation in which you you felt like you had to take matters into your own hands.

Man, I've gotten into probably a million fist fights just just helping other people, you know. Uh I could. There was one time on the subway where I saw some kid hitt an old lady. He had four friends. I took the ass whooping, but I gave an ass whooping and I got pulled into the precinct, and one by one the Costs came by quietly told me, good for you, man, I said, well, I'm not batman, I said, I'm just I'm just a dude, who you know. So it's somebody get hit, so.

Injured. How do you find yourself consistently in situations in which.

Not anymore? I'm older now, I don't do that anymore. That was the old being. This is the this is the you know, I got older now, and so this is just something that's set me off, you know. I think that's that stuff. You run over somebody, well, yeah, I mean somebody's speeding up the road, which is like a ten mile an hour road because it's a backstreet, and you take out somebody's dog and you just take off like that.

Yeah, that's I don't know.

That doesn't sit well with me. I'm too injured now to even do anything about it really anyway. So that's another reason I wait, I.

Suppose you're injured.

Mm hmm.

Do you feel as though being injured will affect your ability to lay the SmackDown?

That's why I'm waiting.

What do you.

To heal well to heal, and it's a smart thing to do.

Okay, how did you find out where this person lives?

Well, everybody has cameras now, you know. So if you take a walk around the neighborhood, knock on doors, you get footage, and you find the car, and you get a piece of a license plate and put it all together, you got a trail. You find out where they're at.

Let me ask you. Can I ask you a genuine question.

I don't.

I don't really have my own opinion about this, but I'd love to hear yours.

Absolutely.

So after you say all this time of taking matters into your own hands, do you feel as though vengeance has accomplished much for you?

Uh?

Yeah, I feel better at the end of the day. You know, I'll come home with some lumps or whatever the case may be. But yeah, because because you know, we're at the day and age now where you can't really look at too many people for help when it comes to that sort of thing anymore. So you kind of do have take things in drilling in my opinion anyway, if that makes sense, I don't know.

I'm just yapping here.

I hope I hope things work out for you. I hope you stay safe.

Oh without a doubt.

That goes without saying, I know what to do.

Well, thank you so much for sharing this guy. I'm glad you called in.

Hey, brother, thanks for talking to me, of course.

Man, you have a good night you too, Broo. All from Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, we've spoken before.

Right, I don't believe so this is our first time shutting?

Oh my god, Rose Rosy. In that case, how how are you, jeez.

Well stressed?

Man?

Not gonna lie, Rosy. Why are you stressed? Is it because your dreams? Is it because your life didn't turn out the way you wanted to?

Well, actually, kind of the opposite. I got like my dream job, and I'm afraid that I'm gonna like fuck it up.

What's your dream job? Please?

I want to do ghost writer?

Now you're a ghost writer? This is We had another guy called in at the very beginning of this stream that was a ghost writer.

Oh fuck, really that's awesome.

Wait shit he did he? Wait did you say you're a ghost writer or a ghost writer?

Uh?

W R I t e R Like, okay, that's more realistic. Yeah. Another guy called in who was a ghost rider. He hated it. Oh, you don't seem like you hated tho. It's your dream job. You seem like you like it.

Well, I mean my dream job is like I want to like write for a living, and this, I guess is like a stepping stone.

I guess do you?

I mean, are you professional for a living? Ghost writer?

I will be.

I'm like in my last year of college right now, and then hopefully I will start writing and doing creative things full time. But like, you know, that's stuff.

Hmm, okay, so you said it's it's why is it? Why are you stressed?

Then?

I don't know. It's like I don't know if you saw the new Pixar movie Soul, but it's like kind of that vibrant, like what you've wanted for a long time, and then you're like, okay, but am I good enough for it?

You know?

The impostor syndrome?

Yeah, that's the word.

I think I said something similar to another person who called in about that sort of thing. And this isn't my advice, This isn't something I came up with, but I remember reading it somewhere. Is that look when you feel like you're an impost either one of two things is going on. Either you are good enough at the thing that you're doing to do it, or you've successfully tricked people into thinking you are, both of which are incredible feats.

Key, I'm hoping that I'm good enough and then eventually I can, like, you know, write for myself and have like have my name on it and not just write for other people online.

Right.

I hope you are too. But even if you're not, look at you, you're a little trickster, your devious little you know, running around conniving people successfully. It's it's fun. I don't know. I mean, that's that's your worst case scenario. That's pretty good.

I'm trying it, man, I'm trying to be snizing. I guess what what do you?

What?

Do you write?

Mostly plays? But I'm trying to afford like nonfiction informative just because that's what people tend to want to have written for them, not really plays.

Let me ask you, of the things that I read on the internet every day, of all the articles and tweets and stuff, how much of it is written by the people that it says it's written by, maybe like for it's not there's always forty percent.

No, I'm totally fucking with you probably like maybe like eighty.

Yeah, you're still pretty low. Yeah, hm hmm, all right, so why don't you think you're good enough to go strite? Man?

I don't know, because it's like I've only ever written for like me and like some close friends. And also I'm writing in a genre that I like, have no serious and so I'm just kind of taking a step out into the ocean to drown.

What's the what's the what's the the genre?

It's like mostly like informative nonfiction, whereas I'm like, I like writing like fantastical shit. I was one of those like high fantasy people as a kid.

So your ultimate dream it's to do your own writing. It's to publish under your own name, right, yeah, probably do you uh you know, in the midst of all your ghost writing and school going, do you have time to uh still create work under your own name?

Yeah?

I mean part of what I'm studying is writing, but mostly for the Peter, So I am still writing for myself. But it's like weird to have, I guess, like a double life.

It's cool though, I mean you're I mean, okay if you because here's the thing, and for you specifically the thing I was talking about where you know, if uh, it's true that you are an impostor and you tricked everyone for you. Oh my, you're like the triple Agents, right, because you trick someone into thinking you're someone you're not, and then and then you and then after that you trick another person into thinking that you're someone that you're not.

I mean that's the dream.

Ah, I think, I mean, I think you you're You're an all over win scenario here, impostor.

I don't get fired because I suck.

No, you won't get fired probably, Yeah, but if you get fired, just you just do something else that's true, and you'll Plus if you get fired, you'll have more time to work on your own stuff. Everything. Yeah, everything's coming up good for you.

I think I'm just trying to make money. Man, it's fucking hard, like especially in today's post COVID economy or during COVID.

Have you tried stealing?

You know?

I wanted to.

I watched an old lady steel from a Sally Beauty and I felt this like pang of like jealousy in my heart.

You could try stealing, you could.

Rob I could, I definitely could. I don't know if I'd be any good at it, because I think my poker face is just terrible.

Well great someone trying.

To be anonymous on the internet, but I'm not graving.

Listen, would you say your name was Katie? It's Katie? What was your name? Katy? Rosy? All right, well listen, Rosie again, I think everything is turning up good for you. I think that I think you're going to be okay. Whether you're an impostor or a thief or just a really good writer.

I'm hoping all of those things. We can all go on my resume impostor and Steve good damned.

Thank you so much for sharing Rosie. You have a good rest of the night.

Of course, he was well.

Aw from Devin.

Devin.

Oh, hi, we've spoken before, haven't we.

No, we actually haven't.

Okay, must have been a must have been a different Devon.

I mean, it's not that uncommon.

It must have been. It must have been someone else's name was Devon. Yeah, that's funny. What's up? What hey, man? What's up with you? What's up?

Devan?

Not much, not much.

Just finally got around to like doing adult stuff today, like filing my taxes and uh, doing my like midterm for philosophy.

Uh, so you work and you're in school.

Yeah, I do hair. I do hair, and I'm in school for psychology.

You do hair and you're in school for psychology. You do hair, Like you work at a salon. You're a barber.

Yeah.

I used to work at a salon. I so we had to shut down due to COVID, and then I found a new hair job. But you know, I don't It wasn't a great place to be, so I kind of quit and now I just do like freelance. So I'm like out of breath.

Why are you out of breath?

Because I'm nervous.

Don't be nervous. Den. You seem like a good guy. I mean, I don't know have you killed anyone ever? Have you ever killed a person?

No?

I can't even eat meat. I'm vegetarian. I feel too bad eating meat.

Oh my god, you're a sweetheart, Devin, Devin man, what's uh? What's your secret? Devon?

I guess my secret would be that I want to fuck minotaurs?

Mm, why do you want to fuck minotars?

I don't know something about it. They're just like it's like divine masculine energy. And on top of that, just like all the hair and the horns.

I just love it.

Now, A minotar is a half man half horse.

Correct, No, no, no, that's a sense harm. Minazars are half.

Okay, I sorry for confusing mintars and centaurs. There, I apologize for that. You're fine a center I was thinking of a centaur. Yeah, And a minutar is half man half bull.

Yeah.

I gotta be honest with you. The bottom half of a horse and the bottom half of a bull when you zoom out, not that.

Different, honestly, Yeah, but I so you.

I mean, here's the thing, though, is that the parts that you would be interacting with sexually are more so that of the bull than of the man.

Who knows. I guess that's something I want to find out.

Well, you can either. Well, okay, so if you were to fuck the bull in the ass, you'd be putting your penis in the bull ass, which is part of the bottom half of the creature.

Correct, it would be the other way around.

I am not a top okay, all right, sorry, all right, So you want to get foxed by the bull, but you would be getting sucked by the penis of the bull. Also, located on the on the bottom half.

Yeah, maybe, I mean, who knows, not an actual ball, not an actual.

No, I mean I'm a centaur, a minotaur, a men tary. So the manager, would you have sex with a just straight up bull?

No, absolutely not.

But that doesn't make sense because you're interacting with the same sexual parts.

I mean, like not necessarily. I mean I feel like the bull, as as like an animal, is less human and like not, It's like it feels less acceptable to me.

I I you know what, My bad, I'm neglecting the emotional element of this. But another thing is, Okay, when you're getting fucked by the bull or when you're fucking the okay, you want to get sucked by the bull. When you're getting sucked by the bull from where you would be spatially, you won't. You don't even know that it's a minotaur because if you're fucking the mentaar from behind, you can see the guy's the back, like you can see his hot back muscles and like you know, his

I mean, and you guys, like, I see where you're coming from. But also it's just like even if I couldn't tell, it would just be like mentally, the ball is just way too animalistic and the miniitar is just like at least mostly human.

Sure you like the idea of emotionally connecting with the human being and then physically sexually connecting with a bull and the combination of those two, I guess. I mean, look, I know I'm just asking because that's sort of what I'm getting.

Yeah, I mean totally.

How much money would you pay to have sex with a with a minotar?

Probably not a lot because like I'm not I don't know, I'm a college student. But like I do have a minitar dildo that was like eighty bucks.

What does what does a mintar dildo look like?

I don't really know how to describe it. It's like why did the tip and it's kind of flat and it's like ridged. I don't I don't know how to describe it.

God, that sounds extremely painful.

I mean, like not if you warm up enough. Also, I didn't I'm not looking at chat because I don't want to hear what they have to say. But I did glance and someone said bad Dragon, not bad Dragon. I support smaller Etsy artists. Bad Dragon not Bad Dragon. That is a company that makes fantasy dildos. But I got mine from Wandering Bard. They're a small atsy store.

Interesting.

See.

Oh, here's what's funny to me about this, because we had someone else come on who told who told us that they want to suck a dragon?

Yeah, Stevie, you know I followed them on TikTok. Stevie.

You you and Steve you would be best friends.

I think probably probably.

It's so just because I you know, I would think it's a joke. But uh, I mean you you really do want to have sex with the Minitar. I mean, like, yeah, the cool thing about the minitar is that it can it can consent to sex more than a bullcan.

Yeah.

Absolutely no, that's like that's like one hundred percent. I wouldn't fuck the Mintar if they couldn't consent, you know what I mean, If like they couldn't speak and like tell me that it was okay, then I wouldn't.

Would you want the minutar to pursue you like court take you out to dinner, take you to the field, introduce you to its.

I mean they wouldn't, they wouldn't necessarily have to, but like that would be a lot of fun.

I have one more mintar question before we go. When I think of a minotaar, I think of is it How many arms does a minatar have?

Four?

Right?

No?

Two?

It has two legs, two arms.

Okay, so if.

Like, like, is it a.

Is it have as many legs? Like the four legs?

What is it?

What is it standing on? It's just a stand on a high legs, stands on high legs.

It stands like a person would. But it's like the bottle.

It stands on a high legs. Right, yeah, yeah that makes sense. Okay, now I fu I fuck one too for sure.

Okay that yeah, see that makes yeah, that makes it.

Okay. The way I was picturing it made a lot less sense. And now that I now that I know they stand on their hind legs, I totally get it.

Oh okay, yeah, no, no, no, they stand on their legs, their hind.

Legs especially differently.

Super beefy all the time. Would love if they had it like a giant saptom Marne beautiful and they have the giant horns.

I'm sold.

Same. See it sounds like a good time.

Well listen, Devin. You know, I hope one day it happens for you.

You know, I wish we'll see you have a good.

Dime man, you too.

Hey, folks, this is Lyle here with a very quick message, just letting you know that this podcast does not have any advertising in it as of this very moment, but if you would like to support and make it easier for me to do more therapy Gecko in the future, you can head on over to Patreon dot com slash lyle forever, and for only five dollars you can make it a heck of a lot easier for me to put this whole shebang together. That is Patreon dot com

All right, back to the calls awesome Tristan, Tristan dot go, who are you tell me everything?

Oh?

I'm good, I have a secret for you. Get there, All right, this is back. I think it was an elementary school. I don't remember what grade. I had a friend Ballandlin was one of my good friends. I don't remember who gave me the dare, but the dare was to kiss him and I'd get five bucks. So me as a kid, do I need to tell you when I was born?

No, you sound like an adult.

Oh that's kind of bold, okay, uh, I was born in ninety seven. All right, all right, I'm on a playground. Yeah. Yeah, Well I didn't just kiss him because he didn't want to be kissed, and it was the worst feeling because I had to like chase him down and kiss him, and I didn't feel great. And the worst part was I didn't even get my five dollars.

How old? How old were you guys?

This was elementary school. I think it was like fifth or sixth grade, but I don't remember which exact one because it is so long ago.

Have you have you since spoken with your friends about because you look, I mean, because you know there's a chance that he could carry this with him to this day.

I have not spoken about it with him. We kind of stayed in touched though. Every once in a while he talked about like he went to another state and he works at a pop fum. Now, okay, really weird. But we haven't really talked about that into it ever.

Do you think it would help Well, I don't know if you do. I don't know if he wants to.

Well exactly, I don't know. It'd be weird to bring it up. Yeah, it leads in't in today too, because like, I consider myself a straight man, but but sometimes when I get really really drunk, I might say some questionable things, and like I've got a bidet right because it's it's hygien but sober, I can only use it like maybe half left. But if I get enough drinks, I can just crank that thing to the max.

So, so you you think that you might be gay when you, uh, when you drink.

I don't when I drink.

Maybe look does this cause you? I mean, look, here's the thing.

Uh, you know.

This is fine? Man, you know there's nothing there's I hope this isn't causing you stress. Shouldn't cause you stress. I mean, you know, uh, you guys were young. You know you what you do with with his friend that's a whole sort of different thing. But look, man, you know there's nothing wrong with feeling pleasure at things that maybe in the past you thought you never would. There's something wrong with being open minded, you know. I like your your fear from this is that you're holding on

You know?

Are you comfortable with who you are?

Do you are?

Do you?

Do?

You?

Do you?

Are you embarrassed at the idea of other people thinking that, you know, you like you like using a bidet for sexual pleasure.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What happened.

I thought that's where you were implying. Wait, hello, what's your name? I'm still here.

Hold on, you don't okay?

Oh wait, that's what's happening. Hold on sorry. Uh the twitch was open and I pressed it with my face there we got really confused for a second. No, it was kind of like it was kind of more like not confusion for pleasure, like not using it for pleasure, but more just like it's intolerable when sober, but when drunk, it's like I don't even feel it, you know, I mean.

This could there could be a physical element to this. I don't know if this is necessarily you know, a statement on your sexuality as a whole. But I mean, I you know, maybe I don't know your your muscles. I mean, I'm not a doctor. We're getting into the doctor annommey territory here. But alcohol has certain effects on the muscles, and maybe it makes your ability to receive pressure anally easier.

I don't know what I.

Should do in this situation, because you don't have to do anyway.

You don't have to doing it no what.

Because my girlfriend I have a girlfriend, and my girlfriend is bisexual, and my girlfriend may want to stick certain objects in certain places, okay, And the only time I've considered it is when drunk.

Well mhm, I mean, look, don't let being drunk make you do things you don't want to do. If you want my personal opinion, I think that if you're willing to do something drunk, but I'm willing to do it sober, you probably shouldn't do it.

That's a fair point. But I mean I don't think I necessarily regret it. I just don't. I don't know, like that's that's like reverse poop.

Look, man, look, do whatever feels right to you. I just thought I don't want I don't want to see you were depriving yourself of of of pleasure just because you're trying to keep up with some sort of identity that you've crafted of yourself.

That's fair. You're speaking facts right now.

I respect that.

Would you say your name was Tristan? Well, good luck, have fun, Tristan.

I love you, mister Gecko. Thank you.

All.

From Carson.

Carson.

Hello, hey, I.

I forgot how to do this just now. I'll see it's been about a year of me doing this. I forgot how to do this. I don't know how to do this anymore. I forgot just as well. I think next call, I'll figure i'll remember. But I forgot how to do this just now. I'll to do what just kidding me saying that I forgot to do this as part of the fact that I have such a mastery of how to do this that you know, I can break the rules. I can play outside the boundaries.

Oh, man, breaking it breaking.

That's here on board.

I'm on board.

Let's just see it.

Well, man, my secrets related to a secret from earlier. My girlfriend gives it to me. Man, I hope that guy still listen to its great?

Oh fuck, allright, we got we gotta talk to now, please please, please tell me, tell me what you want. You'll tell me what you would have telled him.

I would have told him, Man, don't be afraid, because I was.

And you know, you just gotta.

Accept it and enjoy it because it's it's great and it's intimate and it's beautiful and you just gotta have You just gotta live life like that.

Mm.

How recently did she start doing.

This with you?

Uh, like three or four months?

M hmm. And was it a lot to get you to agree to it?

I mean, it's something I thought about for a while, but we never I don't know, I never talked about it with girls before her, and she kind of had done that with girls, and it just kind of developed. M At first, I was like, oh, masculinity, masculinity, but you know, you gotta live.

I respect that, I respect that. You know, this is clear something to interest you. It's clear there's something I interested that caller. But for whatever reason, they just didn't want to follow follow their nose.

Oh man, maybe it wasn't those you know, who knows, but it is. Well, we're not married, but it's great. You know, we got similar interests and she's great and you know over in the New Experiences, you're.

Like the happiest guy I've spoken to on that, I think.

Oh man, I don't know about that. That guy that wanted to bang the minataury was pretty happy.

He was about for a second, I'm like, he's getting pegged to the secret of happiness. I don't know, got me thinking that right now?

Nah, I think the secret to happiness is just, you know, not robbing yourself of experiences and being kind.

I like them.

What you your name was, Carson? Thank you so much for sharing Carson. Well, thank you, Gecko man m I almost is there is there anything else you wanted to talk about? Carson?

Well, I mean not really. You know, that was a response to that guynar Man was he was pretty funny.

He was pretty funny.

I've actually met people that wipe uh white right the wrong way before as well. I had a family friend when we were growing up with a bit over call.

In after every caller and just be like, hey, you know, I know a guy that was dealing with the same problem and they turned off fine, so good luck, you know. I feel like that would be a good pick me up for all these people.

Oh man, Yeah, I don't know.

I think you do a great job of that.

Man.

You're always like raising people up, even when it's a sad thing, you know, I think it's great, which.

Doing is awesome.

Well, thank you, man. I appreciate that you have a good rest of the night.

Yeah, you take care.

That's just that's just the great.

That's just the greatest advertisement for getting pegged of all time. Just that guy Carson is the happiest person I've met in my entire life.

Press Scott, Press Scott, Oh my god, Jack, what's going on?

What did you What were you doing before you called in?

I am writing a paper right now on Islamic law.

A paper on Islamic law, that is correct. Is that a subject that is a particular interest to you? Or are you just writing it because you have to?

I'm writing it because I am in a class on Islamic.

Law, so I have to do this, Okay.

Are you taking the class on Islamic law because it's of interest to you or because you have to to achieve some sort of other goal.

It's of interest of me. I love the professors. It's a good class, really fun class.

How did you get involved in are How did you get interested in Islamic law. Are you Are you a practice Islam No, I do not.

I took a class with this professor examining the origins of religion in the Middle East, and I really liked it, and then I got really interested in the Middle East, and so a lot of my papers in college have been kind of related to topics in the Middle East, like o, Libya and stuff.

Interesting. Do you feel as though you have a You've broadened your perspective learning about cultures that are different than your own.

I would definitely say so. I would definitely say so.

What's your name?

Prescott?

Prescott's Yeah. What's your secret?

Oh?

Jeez, oh?

What was Mike?

Oh?

Uh?

I guess my secret is there's a photo of me in a naked calendar.

Are you fully naked or are you covering any part of your u?

You cannot see my penis, but my ass cheeks are fully out, well, my body is fully out. They're not spread, but they are on a pole.

They're on a pole. Are like like wrapped around the pole.

Uh, you know, like a golf tea or like the golf flag.

Yes, it's like up against that.

My My penis was in the hole and my ass was up on the pole.

Wait, your penis was Wait that doesn't make sense because the how can your penis be in the hole but your ass is up against the poles.

I pulled the flag out and I stuck it between my thighs.

Okay, so all right, so the pole is being held by your ass.

Cheese pretty much?

And how did you come to be a part of this project?

Uh?

Oh man, I don't know how to explain it, uh simplest way as college antics. Money, specifically money for alcohol.

Yeah, and you know, I.

Stop me if this is private information. But what does a shoot like that tend to pay out?

Oh man, I don't remember what it paid out. Jeez, it was. I will just say, I mean I did not get paid for that specifically, But I don't think i'd honestly paid out that much money.

What do you mean you didn't get paid for that specifically?

Well, it was it was like a community ordeal, like there were multiple people who are part of the calendar. I was just I was I think it was.

It was a charity calendar.

Yes, in a sense.

Who would it benefit?

Benefited all of us because the money went towards uh drinking money. So like we got l kegs. I think I don't really remember.

Okay, okay, so now like a charity like for the uh uh.

School, Well it was charity, it was it benefited more than just me, you know, so it's you know, I gave back to the people.

Do you think you would have made more money had you shown your penis, you know? Or less money?

I don't think that. Well. I don't think we would have made any money because on the calendar wouldn't be able to be made because like they said, no explicit nudity could be in the calendar, like the calendar people did, the calendar people, big calendar.

You know, it doesn't make sense to me. Is like, how do you get that far? Is to be like, all right, it's cool if you shove a flagpole between your ass, but it's not cool if share penis, like if you're going to go that far, just complete, just to do the point I think it's sharing. Would you say name was Prescott? You've wonder from that Prescott?

All right?

You too?

Oh?

All from not the Zodiac Killer, not the Zodiac act killer.

Uh yes, I am in fact not not not him.

Hold on, not the Zodiac Killer. I'm so sorry enough to you with someone in the chat just said, could we film and send nature for footage for me to use? And I want to say yes because it actually sounds really awesome. Uh, but anyway, not the Zodiac Killer? All right, so what's uh you know? Not the Zodiac Killer? Look, yes, I it's so much rather hear about what you are than about what you are not. That's more interesting to me.

Yeah, what do you want to know?

I'm an open book.

Well, is there any particular reason that you called in not the Zodiac Killer?

Okay, I'm gonna be real with you. I have I have I have a secret and I was like trying to figure out, like what what you call myself when I called in, because I was nervous because I don't want any my friends listen to this and I don't want them to hear my secret.

They're probably gonna re'll probably recognize your voice.

No, I've disguised it perfectly. What do you mean discuss No, I'm disguising my voice. Like my voice is so different than what the voice that I am using right now really completely.

Oh yeah, what is your how is it different?

Like?

Okay, can you describe because your voice is it's very sounds like a normal voice, you know, so do a good thing.

Yeah, I know, it's that's show biz baby baby, you know. Just I'm really good at changing my voice, and this is not what my real voice sounds like, you know, smoking me so interesting.

I don't know, because like I can do different voices, but I can't do another. I mean, you're this is a normal person voice. I can't do and does I can, like I can do like this this like silly voice, but that like sounds like I'm doing it. I can't do another voice that just sounds like a normal voice.

Maybe it's just a Twitch channel where I teach people how to change and decide their voices to call into others Twitch channels.

Maybe what's your say?

Okay, okay, this is I had to.

Leave the room.

My fiancee is probably watching this right now, and I feel bad because I'm going to reveal something about myself. It's like really embarrassing. Oh god, Okay, okay, So you know how you know how when you when you poop?

You know how?

You you know how like most people wipe from front to back. I have always wiped back to front.

Is that it?

Yeah?

That's it?

What's your real voice. What's your real voice? What's your real voice? Is that your real voice?

Yeah, this is my real voice. I would never be able to pull that off in the heat of the moment.

This is it? This is me?

Is that that bad?

I just glanced to chat just now and they said they can lead to a U T I But I don't know. I don't know anything about.

I've been I so I was just always taught this way and maybe it wasn't I don't remember being taught a.

Certain way being taught either.

Like you, I mean like I don't I don't want to ask you because like it's personal. You don't have to share your secret, but like to do this, okay, well, like you're I think.

That you are. I think that you're overestimating this the secrecy of the personal illness of pooping.

I feel like a lot of people actually like to talk about pooping more than we give people credit for. Like I feel like if we've walked into your room of like at like a party, and you're like front to back, back to front, like let's just dot, I feel like.

I don't even know, like even like.

I don't know, is it that like is that that I've been shamed by people close to me when I've told them this a little bit and they say the same thing, U TI yas infection whatever. I've never gotten any of those. And I'm like, number, okay, here's another thing. The days are a magical invention by humanity that take care of a lot of things, you know, like, the days are a magical thing. And I am probe with the day.

Now.

Now you're starting to lose me here. Now, I have no idea you're talking about the day, the days. The days are a magical thing.

The day.

So whether you said the days you own a day?

Yeah, okay, Well here's another chink in the armor with this. I'm very I'm upset about this right now, and I hope my fiance is listening. So our but days broke recently and I've been yelling at not yelling at him. I've just been like, we need to buy another day, and he's like, we're not going to buy a twenty dollars a day on Amazon. We need to like get a nice day if we're going to get a day. Anyways, it's not that's not important. We don't have a day

Right, so apparently because apparently, I mean, I don't have a vagina, but apparently, yeah, you can be the apparently kid that viral video when you're wiping back to front you end up wiping poop into your vagina, which apparently can.

Okay, this is a conversation that I've had before of like, I have never like the angle that you can ingle. It's all about the angles, like you, you like, never get that far. And maybe I'm built different.

I don't know, I'm not.

Honestly, I have never I have not given a name for.

Nora. You know, you seem like a normal human being. I don't. I don't think that. I don't think that you knowingly wipe poop and do your vagiant. You've got to have a system to wipe that far. So I don't know why everyone keeps saying you're gonna get used g I I don't know why everyone thinks it's so gross. It doesn't make I don't. I don't really, it doesn't. It doesn't really, I don't get it.

Mm hm.

I appreciate the concern. I honestly like they should shame. Like I've actively tried to teach myself to go the other way and it feels so weird, Like I don't know, I like, maybe I need to watch you to it, like I cannot. It's feels so weird so the other way and maybe I need to practice more. Anyways, I'm really glad that I shared.

This with I'm glad. I'm glad I could be a catalyst and you getting this off your chest. I'm very happy I've been here.

I need I need to work through it. But in your opinion, do you think like you wipe you're a guy.

You wipe back?

Yes, have an opinion on the method, because I mean I don't have an opinion on the method because everyone in the chat is like, oh, that's gross, and I'm like, I don't even know. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Well.

I hope that none of my friends heard this tonight because they would.

Why That's That's That's where I'm like, look, what's Norah?

Norah?

Who cares about your your friends and what they think about the way that you poop?

All Right?

You know, I don't want to be known as like the poopy pants.

Of No, They're gonna if you here, they're gonna be like, oh God, you're on the cuckoo shoe.

Yeah, that's true.

Okay, they won't even they won't even they won't even they won't even know the fact that you did you poop. I mean they know that you poop. Everyone poops. You read the book, everyone poops. Mm hmm. Norah. I love you, and I believe that one day our soul's being a twined together forever in the Kingdom of heaven. And I appreciate you calling it and sharing what you share with those. I appreciate your vulnerable Yeah.

Hell satan.

Hye all from.

J oh Hi.

Hi, what's going on?

How are you?

What's your secret?

Let's see, I have two secrets. Do you want the spicier one or the more mundane one.

Let's let's start with the mundane. I think we work way up so that way, I mean, that makes sense, right, because that way the spicy will almost em even more spicy as opposed to the mundane one seeming not as spicy in comparison to some spicy one.

Yeah, okay, I like that. It's we have to like work up to it, get to know each other a bit.

Better.

Okay, So I think for the mundane one is that I have used my stepdad as a recommendation to get the majority of.

Jobs I've gotten, the majority of jobs you've gotten. How many jobs have you gotten on your stepdad's recommendation?

I think three.

Now, what I am curious about is does your stepdad work at these places or does he have nothing to do with them? And he's just a very persuasive guy. So he's just very good, Like he doesn't have a relationship with the people that own the place or anything. He's just very good at persuading them at your competence, because that would be that would be impressive. I would take advantage of that skill.

Yeah, he's a salesman and so he's I think he's like really good at just like, uh, selling my personality. But the issue is that like I tell them that he's just my hockey coach, like they everyone who like every drop I've applied to thinks that he is my hockey coach with your relation to me.

The wait, it still doesn't make sense, Jolie. How old are you?

I'm twenty one.

Okay, So so you said that doesn't work at these places. No interesting that's impressive. Yes, yes, okay, what's the spicier secret.

The spicier secret is that I I once had sex in the same room as my best friend ought.

No, with a guy who your stepdad recommended have sex with you.

He recommended me for the job that put me in the place where I had sex.

With the person.

Okay, that's that's that's less direct than what I described. But yeah, okay, you had sex in a room with your best friend next to you?

Oh blow me?

But yeah, below you, right, so they were in another all right, So that's like, I mean, that's kind of the same, like if you live with someone and they're in the living room watching TV while you're in your room having sex with someone. I mean, that's it's pretty normal.

No, we're like on a bunk bed.

Oh okay, that makes it less Uh now, okay, do you sort of do a post evaluation with your friend in the morning. Did they tell you, yeah, that was a little uncomfortable, uh, you know, having how did they feel about it?

They never said anything to me. I mean, okay, to be fair, their partner was also in the bed with them, but we just really never talked about it.

So how do you know that they were even you know, conscious of the fact that you were having sex above them. If they never mentioned anything, they could have been asleep, They could have been having sex with each other and two focused on you know, each other's love energies to you know, be concerned with yours.

I mean, yeah, I guess I never really thought about it that way. I guess I was more like caught up in the fact that, like I knew I did it.

You know, do you feel bad about this? Do you feel guilty about this.

A little bit?

Because I mean I wouldn't want to be in their situation right where like I was just sitting there and people were having.

Sex with on me.

Well, you should apologize, and then you should offer to let them have sex above you in the sand bunk bed to make it even.

I'll let them know that you said that.

What you say your name was Joli? Ever seen ro.

Oh is that that kids show when they're all like round and yellow?

Yes, that's the one.

Yes, they had a fun like theme.

Bong too it did you have a good do you have a wonder for us to that night?

Juli Oli?

Thank you too?

Get that's not that bad.

I mean, I.

Who hasn't had sex, and I mean, okay, oh wait, no, it was the bunk beds ah that bed because at first I thought she was just like, oh, they were below him and like another room, like there was.

Like a wall.

What's the what do you put in caulk ship in between them?

From John?

John?

So my secrets kind of I can't get it out. It's kind of embarrassing.

Take your time.

So me and my buddies were my buddies were trying to trick me into showing them my penis.

They were trying to trick you into showing them. Did this involve a calendar?

Now?

My buddies were saying that they were bigger than me, okay, And they actually never showed the pictures to each other. And it took me like five minutes to try to get a hard on. And what I took the picture, dude, who bad angle? All it showed was just the mushroom top mhm. There was no girth at length. It was just the tip of the penis, like.

You shot it from like a top down perspective.

Yeah.

And now that I can't live it down, they won't let me. Uh, they just call me shrewmish you know the Pokemon.

Yeah, what's your name?

It's John?

John? Yeah, I call you shmish. Listen, John, you gotta get new friends, new friends. Man, I gotta tell you that, you know, the number one quality I look for in a friend is is you know, acceptance of me regardless of the size of my penis. And I think you need to you need to, John, have you ever thought about, like, you know, a lot of times we pick our friends very passively. We sort of just go through life and

You know, I really like hanging out with these guys though, So.

I mean, why are you looking at with them?

You know, they make me laugh, to make me smile. They're really good friends, had him for a long time. M hm.

But you obviously don't like when they make fun of your penis.

I mean, really act they would have never known them if I didn't show them.

But I guess I think it's you. I don't think it's your fault, John, John, John, Look, you know it's not your fault.

Yeah, you're right.

I thought they made you. They made you feel comfortable, They made you feel through your friends, right, you know, they put you in a situation in which they made you feel comfortable enough to show them your penis, and then they took advantage of it.

Yeah, they churched me.

You know.

Yeah, It's okay because you know, may be small, but it still gets a job done. No means.

See.

That's the thing, John, is how do you feel about your penis? And it sounds to me like you've got a good self image. Yes, and I think you should continue to have that self image, and you should continue to believe in the strength of your own penis regardless of what others might think.

Well, thank you. I really do appreciate that, of course, confidence, I appreciate it.

Of course. Of course you have a great night. John.

Oh Paul from Jimbo.

Hello all from jim Boy.

Hello, Hey Greco.

It's cool, okay, Yeah, I'm watching the live stream for like the second or third time.

Thought i'd call in live stream.

Yeah, Well what's it's on twitch?

Right?

What what did you say?

Your name was? Again?

Jimbo?

Jimbo what's your secret? Man?

Oh man, let's let's go for the little The one from my childhood hit me so uh in the uh there was like a wild area behind a fence in my childhood at home, and I don't know what the destiny, but when I was a kid, I would go back there and take giant shits in the woods, and I would sneak paper towels out in my pocket from the house.

You know, I kind of do a similar thing, not with shit or with piss.

Like I.

I where I am where I like do my whatever during the day, where I usually am during the day, I'm equidistant. I'm equally close to a bathroom, like a real bathroom as I am, like just going outside of my house and peeing in in my in my backyard. And I always choose to go pee in the backyard because it's I like being outside. It's nice to take a little moment to be outside. I understand why you did what you did, Oh yeah, oh yeah, but uh.

Yeah, I realized the whole kind of taking a dump in the behind the wood is kind of weird.

But I don't know.

Here's the thing I like with piss. I understand it, but taking a dump in the woods is not. Paying in the woods can be fun. Taking a dump in the woods is not is not really enjoyable. A dump is sort of a different thing that I like to be in privacy, like of my own home.

I said. The way I.

Thought through it was I guess it was the natural thing to do, because at some point somebody had to ship in the woods, right, mm.

Hmm, Okay, it was an attempt to be more in touch with nature, with your primal being.

Let's let's go with that.

Let's go with that and the something you did as a child. Correct?

Oh?

Yes, how old are you now, late twenties, late twenties, and in your late twenties, do you feel as though you are more connected with your primal being than you were at that age?

Not even close.

I haven't done tampon or hell even hiking in a while.

At what point it's on my to do list? At what points in your life and for what reason do you believe you started to make less of an effort toward connecting with your primal self.

At some point it just felt tedious? And so I always think of it weird that we live in boxes and then that are so far removed from nature that you have to get in the car and drive to it.

That just seems so crazy, mh.

Like.

And so I almost feel like I'm wasting time and resources getting to nature when I should really be. It would be nice to just step out of your house and be there.

Well, you know, the temptations of the modern world are wonderful. I mean, yeah, I have everything I could possibly need right in the house, and my incentive to travel to the woods very low. So yeah, I don't fall to you for losing that battle.

Yeah, what did you say?

Your name was?

All right?

Man?

Uh, We're gonna go with Jimbo Jimbo.

Thank you for calling everyone for us to name.

This is cool. I'm going this was cool.

Thank you. He almost called me, He almost called me by his name. That would have been a romantic Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine. I never understood that, by the way, that does anyone else that didye else? Like not get that? What does that mean? Why is that romantic? It feels weird. You ever called someone by your name? It feels weird. I don't understand. Can somebody explain that to me? Because it doesn't make sense. Why is it like a romantic thing.

This is a thing.

Did it win an Oscar in the seventies?

What are you?

How old are you guys? What do you mean? It's like a two year old movie, three year old movie? All right, I might be going a little insane. I'm not gonna tell you that I'm not going insane. I'm not gonna think really hard about what I'm doing right now talking into a stick alone in my house wearing a Gecko costume, and tell you that I'm not insane. Fully. I don't think I'm fully insane, but I'm not insane. Whatsoever I think would be preemptive.

Jamie, Jamie, Hey, what's up?

What's up?

Nothing much? I'm just here.

We we were really on a good role with the whole having it would trying to have a conversation and then it just I don't know if it is a technical thing, or if you lost confidence in what you were saying and so you started to mumble it, or.

But I don't know that.

Just want to just want to tell you something I tried so many times, tell you exactly about seventy two times.

Jammy, I'm on speakerphone right now.

Oh yeah, and now you're not.

Oh my god, you sound so much better. Okay, what's up, Jamie? Tell me what you want to talk?

All right?

Yeah, so you're a gecko, right, I'm a gecko's true?

Yeah? All right?

Good?

And geckos can uh re re uh regenerate limbs or body parts anything.

That they need, right, some of them, some of them, okay, some of them. I'm legally blind, right, I can't see out of my right eye. I couldn't.

I want you want you want me to give you my eyes?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's the thing is that I am not one hundred percent short that even if I could give you my eye, yeah yeah, even if you offered me maybe an exorbitant price for it, yeah, in uh, hundreds of thousands of dollars ran and if I did decide to take that offer. Yeah, I don't think that my eye would would would would work on you, because I have a lizard eye of human sockets. It'd be like trying to plug. Hey, what if I want a USB Classic in the USB C What what if.

I wasn't a human?

H what are you?

I am a different type of gecko.

Actually you're a different type of gecko. Well if you're a different type of gecko, then why doesn't your eye regenerate?

Because I really don't know.

I've been going to these doctors and honestly, like nothing's working.

Do you not know?

Because you're a lying.

Okay, all right, I'm sorry you.

Look Jamie. Yeah, truely inappropriate to ask people for their body parts into a public setting like this. Yeah, next time, that idea?

All right, I will. Yeah, I'm really sorry for putting you on the spot there, you know, also public. I understand.

Now.

I love you, Jamie. I'll talk to you soon.

I love you too. See you call you back.

Paul from Haley Haley.

Hello, Haley, is it's the gecko?

Oh my god?

Hi?

Have we ever talked before? Haley?

No?

Well, Haley, how are you doing today?

This is doing great. I'm I'm recding to get some advice.

Oh okay, well, look I will do I will do the best I can to give you advice.

Yeah, my dad's girlfriend's a bitch.

Your dad's girlfriend is a bitch.

Yes, okay, she's nice sometimes, but not all the time.

Okay, I no, right, I agree.

So you're asking like what to do about it? I don't know how old you, Haley.

I'm turning twenty in like a couple of days.

Well, happy birthday. Well here's the time. Here's kind of your problem right now, is that you. I mean, someone might disagree with me, and this is why I'm not an advice guy. But you kind of can't do anything. Kind of nothing you can do. Yeah, your dad, you know, you kind of can't influence who he dates, even if they suck.

Yeah, do I move out?

Do you move out? M Look? Are you you're in school? Or do you work? I work? Okay, all right? If you work, that's sick. If you work, I think you should. I think you should live at home as long as you humanly can.

I've been trying to save up, yeah, because.

Having savings is cool. So I mean, is your girl okay, your dad's girlfriend. Is she like horrible to you? Did she hit you? Did she abuse you?

Not? Not?

No no no no no no not non non like abusive abuse.

Okay, it's not like hits me.

Okay, she just like sucks, just sucks. There's nothing you can really do about that. Don't move out. I don't think you should move out. If she was like hitting you in the abusive and yelling at you, then I would say, yes, you go do something about that. But that she just sucks. Eh.

But it's like only her nine, It's just like nith.

It's only her what her and I all the time.

So we're just like, meth oh, it's it's mainly why is your dad at work or something?

Yeah, So we're just like it's just her and I children, and we're both like I don't I'm like, I don't think you like me.

And she's kind of like, well, if she doesn't like you and you don't like her, that's perfect because you don't have to ever talk to her ever, I know.

But then she then like she awkwardly tries sometimes why you know what, Haley, why does she suck?

You haven't really been able to articulate why she sucks. I haven't heard like she yells at me, she calls me that she whatever, she's mean to my dad. I haven't heard any I haven't heard any like things.

Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry my angering you.

No, I'm just.

I think my phone's sorry. My phone is really really Hiley.

Okay, Yeah, I'm good.

I'm pretty stoned. I honestly just word vombit's coming out.

Sure.

I wish we had best topic to talk about.

What's what's your secret? Haley?

This is my secret?

You have secret?

How fucking high are you?

Harley?

Pretty pretty high?

Good? Drink some water? Heal?

I got one.

Well, look, don't move out. Save as much money as you can, and you'll be thankful you do. Okay, try to be nice to your or your dad's girlfriend, even if she's not nice to you, for your own sake. Alright, I'll talk to you later, Haley.

Okay, bye.

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