WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

All from Sophie.

Sophie, Hello, you answered I did? Is that surprising to you?

Oh?

This is amazing to me.

My night, Sophie. Listen, I have a question for you on my own speakerphone right now.

You're on speakerphone, am I?

So I'm asking you if I am on speakerphone right now?

No?

How old are you, Sophie?

I have twenty one?

There's twenty one. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty one. What's up, Sophie? How's your what? What?

What? What? What?

What do you do all day? What are you doing before you called in? What do you do this morning?

I just took a big fat elephant shit. So now I'm feeling like a skinny legend.

You took a big fat elephant shit.

Oh yeah, fuck?

Great?

So nice?

No pops favorite chocolate? Sorry, okay, okay, I'll just this is so exciting. Anyway, today I've worked. It was not fun. It just happened. But like a bitch, need's funny right. Other than that, I just I did nothing.

I honestly to work because because quote, a bitch needs money. What do you need money for?

Life?

Tuition?

Tuition? What do you what are you, and what are you in school to do.

I'm in school to be a teacher. So I really hope none of my students are watching this?

Why?

Why? Why do you hope none of your students are watching this? What does that mean? Do you feel as though you're portraying yourself in a way in which you would not want your students to see?

No, I just don't want them to know I swear.

Why don't you want them to know that you swear? You know what, you have a beautiful opportunity here, because look, your kids, they're going to be exposed to swearing at some point, so they might as well do it through you person that hopefully they will they will, you know, like and trust.

Mm hmm you mean, I mean you got point? But like, I feel like there's some laws against that from happening in policies that I could be severely but fucked by.

Is there there is? There's no law all right, morally morals aside whether you should or shouldn't do something, aside strictly legally speaking, I don't think there are any laws that say you cannot look a child in the face and call them a cunt.

Well, I mean, if you're in Australia, that's just kind of like the norm. But I'm from Canada, so we're a little bit more polite here.

We usually call Again, I'm not talking about I'm not talking about societal social norms. I'm legally speaking. You can you can call a child a cunt and nothing, and you won't go to jail.

Yeah, like one they could. They don't know me, but if I'm in front of a class, no, even.

If they know you, I think it's I don't think there's any laws against that. I don't know if I mean, I mean, I don't even know if they I don't think it's I don't know if it's in the student handbook where you work or anything, or the teacher's manual. But there's no it's I'm just saying it's not illegal. You will face no legal repercussions if you do it.

I mean, you're kind of convincing, you know.

And you'll give them a fun story. How I wish I had a story about when I when I was in fourth grade, my teacher called me a cunt. That's like if you if my teacher called me a cunt, and now I got to tell people that that happened to me once. That's like, like you kind of like my teacher gave me a gift there a little bit. I have a fun story now in great.

Stream my teacher called me a disappointment. Disappointment, so that's.

Not as funny as a cunt, but it's actually kind of sad. Do you feel like that affected you throughout your life? Do you feel like does that? Does that affect you up until this day?

Well, considering the fact that I'm still severely depressed, probably, but like I feel like I was depressed before that, so maybe it just made me.

Have right, So so I don't think it has affected you because you how much of your current depression is linked do you think to that event?

I'm probably like negatives two percent, because at the end of the day, I still don't give a fuck.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad to hear that you don't give a fuck. What's your name again?

My name's Sophie.

Sophia was a pleasure speaking with you.

I love you have a good name.

I love you too. I believe that one day our souls we bond it together forever in the Kingdom of Heaven and I can't'not wait until then. Good night, Sophie.

I don't believe in Jesus. I'll meet you, and.

You don't have to because he will reveal himself to you one point or another, whether you like it or not.

It goes on the line making your phone calls every night ever, goes to teaching you how to.

All from Nick.

Nick.

Yes, how are you?

That's a stupid que I hate that question. I hate that question. It's a waste of time, It's a dumb question.

I decided a few years ago that I would always answer that question honestly.

Interesting. How has that decision gone for you?

Guys?

Have you how has that affected your life?

Well?

What taught me vulnerability people, and essentially it got me sober.

I like that. I'm a big fan of vulnerability with people. I think that we only have so much time on this earth. We should be true to our feelings.

Yeah, you have to connect with people, and if you're not vulnerable and open, you lack connection. And that's when that's when my mind goes dark. I love when I feel alone.

I love that.

But hey, I need some advice. I have a meeting in twenty minutes with a professor of a math class I'm taking, and we just finished a semester long group project in which one of the participants, there were three of us, one of them, didn't do anything and then messaged us asking if he could use this project. It's a very intense project. We wrote an algorithm that is spectacular. It's a great project. Well, it would be great on

Of his points off the project. When you say taking all his points on the project, if all of his points get taken off the project, okay, is this like a collective thing? So if his points get taken off the project, it affects every everyone.

No, No, we would still the two of us that did all the work would still get a fine grade.

All right.

Look, here's my actual advice on this. I think if I were in your position, and I've been in similarish positions, I would just be like he all he wants to do is put on a resume like for jobs.

Yes, let him, let him do it.

The universe will play out, I'd say, let him do it. Look, look, things will play out how they're going to play out. No matter what. He'll get fucked eventually, or maybe he won't get fucked and he'll be able to bullshit his way through life forever. But that doesn't affect you. Okay, you don't lose anything. You did the project. You're the guy who knew how to do the thing, and you will forever be the guy who knew to do the thing. No one can take that away from you. You have

All Right.

Yeah, you know, I'm real fifty fifty on it, and I think he might be right, because honestly, he's a nice enough kid. He had other things going on, but so does everybody. It just feels it just feels unfair. And maybe I'm just being too self absorbed about it being unfair to me to really recognize that. You know, there's there's bigger problems out there.

I look might be wrong. I'm sure people disagree with me, But if I'm talking about like what I would do if I'm in your situation, just for my own sake of taking the path of least resistance, which I like to take, I'd just feel like fuck it, you know. I mean, you have your skills. You did the project. It's your work. You know that, and you can you you no one can take these skills away from you ever again. And you can use these in a job, and you can use these in your own entrepreneurial pursuits.

Well, thank you very much. I think that that's some good Beck. Were's some things up for me?

Of course? Would you say your name was? I'm Nick Nick. I like that vulnerability thing, Nick Nick. Nick. I don't know if you Nick? Do do who Mark Manson is?

Mark Manson?

No, I don't.

Okay, he's reading a couple of books about that that I think are really good. You check him out. I think you would like them, Mark Manson.

I'll write that back.

Hell yeah, you have a good rest of done it, Nick.

Thank you you too, Thanks so much, all from Andrew.

Andrew baby, Hey, hey, hey, yeah, I think hey yeah is uh.

Yes, I really don't know what I'm supposed to say right now?

My bad.

No, you know what, There is no like thing that you're supposed to say.

Yeah, all right, I could use your insight.

I'll do the best that I can. We've there's been, undeniably, I don't know if you've been watching the stream, but undeniably there have been times where people tonight have asked me for insight and I haven't didn't know what to say, but I've I've I think I've tried at least my best for each time. So I will give you my best attempt at providing insight.

All Right, So I grew up in a really conservative family, and uh, I don't really want to live with my girlfriend before we get married. I think that they're bound. And she said that she will not marry me until we live together.

M Well, when you okay, Well, here here's what I think off the bat is when you say I grew up in a conservative household. Where you grew up in my opinion, doesn't matter. You now as an individual, having grown up having access to think and believe and value whatever it is you want to think and believe in value, do you believe that you know for whatever you know? Do you do you not believe in living with someone before you marry them, regardless of how you were raised

You to value it.

It is because something I value.

Okay, That's what I was getting at.

And so, like, I don't know, I'm just kind of struggling with this. And then also I'm pretty sure that if I do move in with her, that means that, like, it's like, I have scholarships for college and then I'm a reservist E three in the Air Force, so I have that bring in money. But I'm just like and I work also in conjunction to like pay off college.

That's tough, man. I mean, well, how important is your relationship with your girlfriend? There's an honest question pulling esbend together.

Don't to better? Pushing on a here and now at this point? Okay, I mean i'd find so like for me though, for me, like most of my relationships wouldn't get past a month because when I was in high school, accidentally knocked up a girl and then we lost the kid, and I couldn't like handle being serious with anyone.

I'm sorry to hear that that must have been a very intense experience.

Yeah, it was a lot for a sixteen year old, you.

Know, I mean, look my own person, how old are you now? Eighteen?

Do what?

How old are you now? Eighteen?

Yeah, I'm almost nineteen.

I'm gonna be honest my personal belief. I mean, first of all, nineteen, I only been seeing each other year. I think, I mean your values aside, I think I personally think that's a little that's a little young and a little early, a little young of you and a little young in your relationship to be moving in together.

Yeah, And we've been fighting over it so much.

It's like.

It's having me consider like, oh no, she's like backing me into a wall in this one, Like whether I should just not given to that old made them it to be like all right, well we are meant to be together.

Then look if that's if that's the decision you come to. I don't think that's a terrible thing. I mean sometimes you have to evaluate if you know, your values match the values of the person that you're trying to you know, be in a relationship with, and if they don't. You know, I don't think it's necessarily tragic. It's just is what it is.

Yeah.

And also ultimatums, Yeah, never really sit right with me because they're a little bit controlling, and I don't feel like your partner should be trying to control you.

They're manipulative.

Yeah, they're a little manipulative. I mean, if your partner's trying to give you an ultimatation, that's not a good sign.

Yeah, And I've voiced that to her already. And I'm just like, man, I don't really know what to do here, so.

I appreciate it.

I appreciate your insight.

Yeah, for sure, I'm not going to tell you what to do one way or another. But those are my thoughts. I think if some people are trying to give you ultimatums and force you in the corners, that doesn't sound like to me the signs of a healthy relationship.

All right, well, thank you, of course.

Man. You have the rest of the name.

Hey, you have a blessed day.

Thank you.

I will all from Bobby.

Bobby?

What up thereby?

Get go?

How you tell me everything? Tell me nothing? Who are you?

Uh?

Well, my name is Bobby.

Uh.

I mean I feel like, yeah, I mean, what else would you? What else is there? Really? I mean, there's the name in there's outer space. But I don't know, man, I just thought it'd be nice to call somebody and talk and I saw you was he was doing a thing online.

M Do you talk to a lot of people in your day to day life.

I do. I'm a cook and a bartender at a golf course resort grow room, and I'm Travilhurst for a funeral Hume, So I thought a lot, Yes, sir.

That must be. That must be actually a very stressful gig.

I'd say less stressful and more uh thought provoking. You know, it makes you think a lot. It keeps you kind of you know, grounded in a certain way.

But you know, if it's a good It is good to be consistently reminded of death because it gives I feel like it gives you more value to life.

Yeah, man, you know, it's just like you don't remember any of the families that you meet, You don't remember any of the people that you drive. But you know, for some of those people, you know, you you're a big part in their lives. I mean, you know, talking to them and helping them through that time. So yeah, it's all about.

Perspective as anything. I mean, that's a lot of stress too, because like I mean, that's the you got all you got some precious cargo in the back.

You know that.

Yeah, you know it ain't it ain't no time to be driving. It's you got to be aware. You know, it's take you know, it's it's it's the whole thing is about awareness and you know, knowing what you're what you're doing.

Damn could do you do you text and drive in your off time? Do you text and drive as when you're a civilian?

You know, when I'm in my civilian life, I might pull up my phone is to stop light and text my linger into me driving, you know, once that light turns green. But I generally try and stay off the phone while I'm on the road.

You know, I think that's good.

Donte to end up in the casket as No.

No, have you ever thought about like what what if you were dead? What would you want your host driver to be like?

As a person, I think I'd want to carry a conversation, you know. I think I'd want somebody that's not afraid to talk to me and talk to themselves. I like to have a little moment with the person while I'm driving them, you know, let them know that that everything's going to be okay here while they're doing what they're going to be doing for the rest of eternity.

Interesting. So you you talk to the.

Corpses, oh yeah, one hundred percent, because it ain't.

All those conversations go I mean, I'm I mean one sided. I assume you know, it.

Can get a little it can get a little boring, but you know, it's just about trying to make you know, it's it's it's about the connection. Like I said, it ain't just the hearse driving either. I mean, it's you know, kind of getting the bodies ready, getting them, you know, to with the with the formaldehyde fluid to go into the casket and get prep for the family to see. So you get a lot of alone time with you know, with the people.

M m, are there any you know, let me ask you something. Maybe this is kind of dark, but do you ever have a conversation with the corpse and then at the end you're like, damn, I wish you weren't dead so we could hang out more.

You know, honestly, like and not to be like, I don't know negative. A lot of times it's kind of like the people just based on looking at them and you know, just making a surface level judgment. It's almost like, you know, I'm kind of glad you're bad for me to be talking to you, because I don't know if I be having as interesting or even want to have a conversation with you if you were alive. So it's you know, I think it's and I can talk about whatever I want. I got, you know, I can talk

M yeah, I could. So you're telling me, so you've looked at someone, You've looked at these people, and you've thought, gee, the most interesting thing about you is that you're dead.

Yeah, you can kind of tell somebody's lived a you know, a spectacular life or you know, kind of spend time under the radar, And is.

There any good real quick? What do you look for visually? Are there any visual signals up from a corpse that indicate that it had a boring life?

Well, you can kind of see. I mean, I don't know if you'd call you getting When you look at somebody's faith, I mean you can tell. I mean, sometimes they die when that when they're sixty and they look like they're eighty five. I live in West Virginia, uh in kind of a farm town, and so, you know, you deal with a lot of people that are, you know,

What did you say? Your name was, Bobby? Bobby? Look before we go, I want to know, oh, you know, what are your plans for the future. How do you plan to make the most of this life? Uh?

Well, I'm a musician, so in my spare time, you know, I'm writing music. I do streams on Reddit occasionally they tend to go pretty well. I've got, you know, some production credits in the works right now with some with some pretty cool people. And I'm just you know, trying to grind away on my instruments doing what I do.

Well.

Good luck, Bobby, I hope you never die.

You know, it happens to all of us. So I just hope my herds driver's pretty cool.

Yeah for good night, Bobby.

He's out, but not me.

It happens to all of us, he says, not knowing who he's talking to, an immortal lizard. Wait, shit, I actually think no, not dying would be worse. I think living forever is way, in all seriousness that living forever has just got to be way worse than dying, because think about it, everyone ever has it died. It's a it's a blue chip, proven way to die. I feel like immortality is highly uncharted territory and I don't want

All from Emily Day to accept Emily.

Emily, Emily, Hi, how are you? Emily?

I'm good?

Thank you?

How are you?

You know.

I'm trying, Emily? What do you? What do you do? Have we ever spoken before?

We haven't?

This this is your first ye have you ever? How often do you have conversations with other people, or you k new are you when you say it's your first time, do you make it's your first time talking to me? Or it's like this is a fresh experience to you. Just the idea that two people can communicate with each other over the phone even though they're not in the same room. Because it is very exciting technology, even though I mean it's pretty old, but it's still exciting.

I mean a little bit of both. Because it's actually funny because I'm watching you right now, so it's like a weird like I can hear myself kind of things.

Weird. I agree with that you can hear yourself. Oh that's your first problem. You gotta stop watching. You gotta take what do you What do you got there?

You am?

I on the phone, the laptop, of the computer. Take them all, throw them away. You're not gonna need.

Actual right on the TV. Right on the TV.

Oh my god, leave the TV room, dude, in the now. The kitchen. Do you have a nice kitchen? Do you have granite?

I don't know.

Actually I actually just rent so I don't know what they put in, but it is very nice.

You don't know what do you mean?

You know?

How do you not know what if you have granite, Well.

It looks like a stone of some sort, but I don't know it looks like to be honest with you.

Neither do I. What can you do? Emily?

Well, I don't really know. I mean, I guess today I started making a rug, so I guess I could shot.

I'm making a rug. How does one make a rug? What is the process?

Have you ever seen people with those like guns that shoot out the yarn that goes into a rug?

I have no I've never seen someone shoot a yard a yarn gun.

Okay, well I don't have one of those, but I have like a hand held form so I just like do this thing called punch needling, and then it just goes right in and then it just stays there and it's stuck. So you just put the yarn into the like fabric and then.

Yeah, this yarn gun. Can this be used as some sort of a weapon theoretically?

Does it?

Can it pain or or harm?

I don't think it would because it's not like it's shooting anything really except for the yarn, So I don't think. I don't think you can get hit from it.

It's here's where I'm curious, is what made you decide to boy to make a rug when you could just buy one.

I kind of just decided I wanted it to be like a specific way, and I wanted to make like a custom thing. And also I think rugs are really expensive. I'm very broke.

The amount of time that you would spend making a rug would definitely be I would trade the amount of money to have the time of not doing that. But that's my own personal decision. This is your own personal decision, and I respect it. Is there, are you making a cool design? What color is the rug?

Oh?

Well, it's pink and purple and white, and it's gonna be kind of like, I don't know how to explain it, kind of like wavy. It's just abstract.

I like it. I listen before we go, I mean this rug. Do you feel as though this design is some sort of I mean, is there a sense of self expression in here? Do you feel as of this design? Is there's something you're trying to say with it? Could it be interpreted a message from it? Perhaps the colors and the scheme of things. Is it a metaphor for anything?

I don't think it's a metaphor, but I think it's kind of like a sort of aesthetic. Maybe I'm going for it.

So there's that.

And it just give us real quick one or two words describe that aesthetic.

I had to describe it, it would be like cute Animal Crossing character.

Oh, be careful, be careful about Nintendo because they're very strict on their copyright. They told because I actually my character is based off of a gecko from Animal Crossing and they keep sending me letters and pretending like I'm not I'm not getting them. So if that happens to you, just pretend that you're not getting them, because that's what I do.

And they know.

I'll talk to you soon. I appreciate you, and I hopefully your rug goes well. I hope you're able to sell it for a million dollars.

Oh, thank you, that's so kind.

Oh and my my workrind next of Hi. He loves watching everythey.

I'll tell your boyfriend Nick that he seems like a really cool guy.

Oh, I will let him know.

Have a good night, Emily.

Thank you.

You two all from Alana.

Lana. Hello, what's up Alana?

Holy shit? What I don't know. I've been trying to get on for like a couple of months.

Trying to get on what dude.

Therapy?

Get go? Look, Yes, you dialed the number into your phone, right, mm hmm, and someone picked up the phone right.

Yes, is this Lyle?

This is this is someone. What's up, Alana? How are you? Tell me everything? Tell me nothing?

I'm pretty good.

How are you doing?

What do you?

Uh?

What did you do this morning?

This morning I took my dad's girlfriend's dog on a walk. Tried to get it to like pull me on a longboard. So that was a fun time to learn.

You tried to get it to pull you on a longboard?

Yeah, with the leash you kind of like have the dog out in front of you to the side and then kind.

Of let it go alta.

That sounds really dangerous. I feel like you're giving the dog a lot of control in that situation over your direction and your speed.

Well, I've learned you kind of keep them on a short leash.

It works a lot better.

I don't know.

I'm learning on like a big open parking lot right now, and then we probably like work our way up to smaller kind of narrower sidewalks.

What I'm the most afraid how big is the dog? Is it a tiny dog or a big dog?

No, it's a big dog.

It's a husky.

Oh a husky all right, Because here's what I'd be afraid of is let's say the dog stops suddenly then but you still have your wheels or whatever they get them momentum and you just see trip and fall onto the dog and you crush it.

Oh that's how you.

Got to keep it like on to the side. We're going slow, like, it's not like a just go and then it just starts booking it.

You're trying to go viral on TikTok and hope it happens. Well, I have a question for you, Alana, Yes, So what is up? What the hell is wrong with you?

Well, currently I'm trying to kind of I don't know how I would like It's not like cock block maybe, but my friend group. Two people in this friend group have started like catching feelings for each other. So me and a couple of the other people in the friend group have decided to kind of stop that from happening. It's like that, uh, have you seen Lion King one and a half? That one seemed like ontage with Timon and poomb are like we can't let this happen. We

How does it end? Timon and poomb But earn as learn a lesson that that was stupid, right.

Well, yeah, but we're still stupid. So it's okay, it's okay.

Why do you what what is your vested interest in these two people not being together?

Because it's gonna mess with the vibe of this friend group. We've been together for so long, you've gotten like close. And so the girl I love, her name is Ashley, So Ashley, we just kind of.

Incorporated into Look what's your name?

Alana?

Alana? How old are you?

Eighteen?

Alana?

All right?

Yes, Look, at one point or another, I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen one point another all of your friends are going to get into relationships and uh, they'll still be your friends, but their priorities will be with their partner instead of you. This is gonna happen. This happens to everyone, you know, Get used to it. You know, I think that your attempts to foil your friend's happiness and interfere with their life is not a good strategy for you, because you know, that's not a great way

That's true, That is true. Okay, I can respect that. And it's like, I don't know, we're all seniors. We're going to college soon, so it's more like we're trying to stop something from like a summer flome and then kind of everyone goes off. But yeah, you know what, I can respect that.

The energy that you might spend trying to, you know, break up this this this romance, I feel like you could better spend the energy, you know, planning your own feature. I mean, you're going to college, right, You're going away. Why don't you prepare for that?

Yeah? All right, how do you suppose I should do that?

Then?

What are you going to school for?

Commercial aviation?

Commercial aviation? Watch a bunch of YouTube videos about planes?

All right?

Huh?

I think I can do that.

And then what's gonna happen. You're gonna go to college and the first two semesters, every every class you take everything, they say, you're gonna be in your head. You're gonna be like already learned all this fucking show on YouTube. Now you're gonna drop out, and you know, get your aviation license on YouTube because they're going to have that ship by then. It's the future.

Get a pilot's license on YouTube.

Alana, Alana, you have a good rest of the You have a good rest of your life. I believe in you. I think you got a good future ahead of yourself. But just you just gotta not look at tomorrow and Poomba is your role models.

That is true. Okay, Well, thank you for the info. Good night.

All from Fox Fox.

Hello, how you doing?

Uh?

You know, I'm doing well despite how my week is going.

What about you?

Man? Uh, how's your week going? Fox?

Just just the troubles of employment, to my friend.

Employment are lack thereof?

Uh, lack thereof?

Yeah?

Hm, where have you been applying to like jobs and stuff?

Yeah? I uh, you know, I just I was working a couple of places, but they kind of sucked my soul.

You know, m they sucked your soul. Tell me about these places that sucked your soul?

Uh?

Well, gas station jobs or cool? I'm not a fan.

I got to say, I.

Don't know because I get the creatures of the night. You know, I and my gas station sold really cheap beer, so we really got those creatures.

I'll tell you, tell me about some of these creatures. I mean, who were the sole suckiest?

Oh man, Well, my favorite one. His name was Frankie. Like he always had an eight ball in his hand, and he like, you know, honestly, he was just a crackhead.

With good advice.

But most of them would basically assault me.

You said he was a crackhead with good advice. Yeah, he was like the advice he gave you.

Yeah, he was like my own little local therapy gecko, except he was way less cool.

I don't know.

I would I would have relationship problems and he would sort of he would sort of talk me through, you know, I was my girlfriend wasn't talking to me, and he was like, have confidence in relationships, man, gotta go, gotta split. And I'm like, you know what that guy know what he's talking about?

Do you think he does? Do you think I mean his his I mean it could be possible that he was a just well traveled, well experienced guy who you know, knew a thing or two about about relationships.

You know, I think he might be right. But you know something that I never got advice for was you know, I kind of feel lost without purpose. You know what I'm saying?

Oh yeah, I feel you Sorry, you feel lost without purpose?

Yeah, man, because like you know, I do music and stuff, and like I try to, I guess I try to be a good person to the people in my life. But you know, I don't know, I'm kind of searching for like direction.

You know.

You do music. We're going music, do you do?

Definitely a metal head. I just like to be loud on stage, and you know it's I don't know, have you.

Been performing at all? You do any live shows?

Well, not a whole lot ever since the pandemic, But I got a few gigs that I did but before twenty twenty and stuff like that. You know, I was playing a good show at least once a month.

You know that's awesome?

Do you do?

You know, I'm not a music promotion expert, but what you got to you gotta spotify, you do your.

I wish, you know, honestly, I should probably figure that kind of stuff out, like probably get my stuff out there, you know, yeah, because you know my I guess it's like a band slash solo project. But it's called Wichita. But I don't know, man, Like, yeah, I should probably promote myself or something that would probably give me something more to do.

You know.

Yeah, I mean look at it as a project, you know, do use TikTok.

Yeah, Oh dude, I love TikTok. It has like the best ship posts.

You gotta go. You gotta promote your music on TikTok. I know I'm getting all specific. I'm getting all specific, but I feel like, you know, for me, in times when I've lost purpose, it's it's getting specific that helps, you know.

Yeah, I actually discovered you through TikTok, like I thought, I honestly like found you on TikTok, and like I saw you as this like borderline pagan god that I must like, you know, tonight's actually the first night I actually joined your stream.

Yeah, yeah, welcome.

Yeah, man, I'm loving it here. I'm gonna I think I'll be here three times a week.

What did you say your name was again?

Fox?

FOXX My mom named me after the X Files.

Is your real your real names? Fox? I thought that was like I remember now, I thought it was a stage name of some kinds.

Oh, well, a lot of people do think that, but that's like dead, that's my real name.

Damn that you really got to be a musician now because Fox is a cool ass name for a metal head guy.

Man that honestly, dude, you saying that like that, that really means a lot, dude.

You know, I mean if you're lost, you know, if you're having trouble with purpose. I mean, I think taking on a project, that's I mean when I've had times when I'm feeling that way, I mean, getting lost in a project has been the best thing. I feel like, you've got a project, you got to you got a good project on your hands. You know, you make music, you want to go out and promote it.

I just I just need to get I think I just need to get some more musicians to like maybe long term do stuff with me. I think that's my main problem.

Mm hmm. I mean you said you said you have a little bit of a solo project going on, right when you talk about Wichita. Was that a solo project? Is that a band?

Yeah?

I mean it's technically both. I sort of just I like write all the stuff and I sort of find people that vibe with it, and we just like go buck Wild.

You know, dude, if I were you, I'd I'd start promoting myself on on on TikTok, and not just the music, like you as a person as a musician, not just the set, because that's how I feel like what people like is they they like not just the music, but they like identifying with the person that's making it.

Yeah, sort of like a cult of personality kind of thing a little bit.

Yeah, you know, I mean, I mean, if I were you, I would be like, you know, on TikTok, telling these stories about these these creatures that you've encountered at the gas station. Yeah, man, you know, I think I think that that they could be at the very least, even if I'm not even saying like, oh you should do this, like because it'll take off and you know you'll make a million dollars or anything, but just like you know, it's it's it's cool as something to do.

Yeah, Hey, could I could I like write a song about you? Like I feel like I need to.

If you write it. If you write a song about me, I'm coming to hear you perform it live and I'll come as the get go and fucking wolmosh did dude.

I'm honestly, if I make it big like I like, I will straight up shout you out like every single concert like you. Honestly you kind of you trying to you reinvigorated my drive like to do all this?

Good man? When's when's your next show?

Uh?

Oh?

Man?

Uh?

I honestly wouldn't be able to say, because I really need to get a drummer, But honest.

It should be who in the who in the chaz or fucking gets a man of drummer? Dude? Who drums in here?

Yeah? Man, I'm a Central Pa band looking for some drums?

Man?

Oh fuck, I just talked. I just talked to a Philadelphia guy last night who was in who's in like the punk?

See?

I don't know if he drums? But where can we find you anywhere? I'm curre? Where where can we find if we wanted to find your music or anything?

All right?

Where if it's someone in here as a drummer and they want to reach out, where they reach out?

So the shitty stuff that I upload on my own time on my YouTube channel, uh, it's uh Fox the rated X Exercist.

How many xes in the Fox two x'es fo xx fo xx the X Rated Exorcist.

Yeah, I made that up myself while I was very under the influence.

I like that as a stage name. That's fine on.

Yeah, because like I didn't want to go for just Fox like on stage, I'm like, nah, I have to be like some some type of thing.

You know, Fox the X Rated Exorcist. Everyone getting Fox the X Rated Exorcist.

Damn it your therapy Gecko, and I'm Fox the Rated ex Exorcist. You know, I low key stole that title from the Edge the Rated our Superstar. But nobody needs to know that.

I won't tell anyone.

Honestly, I couldn't thank you enough, dude.

Nah, thank you for calling in.

Man.

You hope you have a good rest of the night. I hope. I hope if someone out there is a drummer reach out to this man, well comment on one of his YouTube videos. I saw you on the gott thing and let's form a band.

Dude.

Well, I love you.

I love you too. Fox. You have a good night, you two man.

All from Carlos.

Carlos, Oh, hey there, how are you. I'm doing good. I just turned on your stream.

That's cool.

I'm I'm digging the whole space thing. I'm a big Star Wars fan, so I wish there would be like a a Star Wars movie where there's got goes in space. I think that would be awesome.

Carlos, I have a question for you. Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you?

You know, man, I just I don't know this whole you know, COVID thing has just been been a crazy time for me. And you know, my cat is vomited all over my carpet because I gave her cat grass and you know, it's yeah, it's it's been a tough time. You know, my cat's getting ready to move, you know, a lot of anxiety getting.

Ready to move, like without you like moving out.

Oh no, no, no, I'm moving to another state.

So why has COVID been so difficult for you, Carlos?

Because I do with what I deal with a lot of traffic for my job. So as far as like people go, I deal with.

A lot of traffic.

You said, yeah, a lot of like customer traffic.

Oh okay, Because I was gonna say, if it's a problem with your job is traffic. I feel like COVID would help because you know what you get to work from home. You don't have to go out into traffic.

That's true too, you know I'm outside, I guess, but no, I have to deal with a lot.

Of customer traffic. What what do you work as?

I work as a person at a like a grocery store type thing, so I see a lot of people.

Going through all right, what is I really I need to know what is the difference between a grocery store type thing and a grocery store?

Nothing?

Really, I just didn't know what to say. Yeah, I pretty much work at a grocery store.

You work at You work at a grocery store, correct, M. You know what you should do. You should open a competing grocery store, and then you'll get your first customers. I talking shit about the you work at the current grocery store. You talk shit about that grocery store. You tell people, Hey, everyone, this grocery store sucks. I only work I work here, but I'm trying to get a job at a new grocery store. That's where I get all my grocery store because there's a much better grocery store.

Hmmm, do you think I should like how many people do you think I should employ? Should I just work by myself? Or do you think you know the way I gain all those profits? Or should I you know, get one or two people here and there.

That's kind of tough now that I'm thinking about it. Well, you could automate it. You could get you know, the self checkout.

You could just have it just be those Okay, So I'll have to manage the self checkout to just make sure people are paying for their stuff too.

Yeah, you know how to like code.

I'm sure I can figure it out.

You know that you should do you should You should put some video games in the self checkout of your grocery store. And that way you can be like, when you're talking shit about the grocery store you work right now, you can be like, I know this new grocery store, it's way better. They got video games in the self checkout thing. And video games and you'll be like, you got to go to find out. But if someone told me they got Sonic the Hedgehog, by the way, is a good name for a grocery store.

Oh okay, okay. I'm a big gamer, so I enjoy a lot of video games. I just watched a few Let's players play that Village Resident Evil game, and I thank you. Yeah, I'll have the video games on that self checkout, so as you're checking out, and then.

You can, like, whoever the lets players you watched, you get them to come and record their next episode at your grocery store. Influencer marketing.

These are all great ideas. I need to get a ten right now.

Listen, Carlos, So you're gonna I think you're gonna do fine. All right. I love you very much and I hope that you continue on this path because I believe in you.

I love you too, man. Thanks for the insight and thanks for all the advice.

Of course, of course, Sonic the Hedgehog is the greatest game of all time. I concur thank you, Carlos.

You have a good night, are you too?

Thanks all from dog.

What so what can you do? I think with.

Uh maw maw, I feel like, Okay, I feel like I just interrupted you reciting like a script that you prepared for this call. Whoa, I mean you really started this out like a monologue.

Yeah, well, I mean You've got me fully engaged here.

Okay, So.

I'm on the peloton.

I'm gonna hop off the peloton.

I am. But you know I was gonna call to talk about what I can do. But now I feel like I would like to, you know, reflect upon your most recent phone call. If that's okay, sure, So what can you do? I mean, think about it. You probably have and I don't know everything. I'm just brainstorming here, no pun intended?

How is that a pun?

Sorry?

Because I like your background in the clouds.

The clouds aren't they're they're they're there. They don't really I don't think that these are like stormy clouds.

Uh. Are the only person I've talked to today besides people on the computer. So I apologize, I got excited.

I have bad Okay, I count as a person on the computer.

Ah, I see what kid?

Do you wish that you talked to it to more people not on the computer?

M I don't care.

I mean the majority, look, the majority of the people I talk to I think are probably on the I think the majority of a lot of people that people talk to her on the computer. Like if you've DMD, if you've talked to more people on your Instagram, dms and text messages than you have face to face, those I think count is internet people.

Either way.

I really it's like even online I talked to maybe like seven people, and then in real life we could slap that down to a two or three depending on the day.

Do it thay is pretty good? Who are they two or three people?

Uh? My best friend, my siblings, my parents call me, but I don't pick up or call back.

See if your parents, If you talk to your parents over the phone, I think they that at that point in time, they count as Internet people.

Really, yes, why would you say that.

Because you're talking to them over the Internet. Well, I mean the phone. You're like, I want to discord all with them, But that doesn't really mean the method, the medium in which you choose to have the conversation is irrelevant to me.

Yeah, you know, it's really like the nature of the relationship. Like if I only know you from the computer, your internet people, if you know you re first to me or something. Then I'm gonna go ahead and just say, you're like, you're person in my life.

What did you say? Your name was Nicole?

Now but very close.

Now, what can you do.

Well? I could do a lot better.

Not gonna lie, you could do a lot better.

I feel I feel ashamed of myself, but also I feel like kind of proud of myself, like haha, because I don't really try or like do anything, but I'm still like living a fairly decent lifestyle.

M How would you how would you define a fairly decent lifestyle?

I mean, I have a good job. I just started my own nonprofit organization. I have two to three friends. Well you know, siblings count friends. I think I'm not handy capped. I have all my limbs.

It's good to have all your limbs. I agree.

Sometimes I imagine, what imagine if you were just missing a summer or something.

I know it would be terrible. Like actually, all the time I've been doing this new exercise, I actually sometimes I meditate upon the idea of like just not having arms and legs, Like I really try to imagine that my I've been kidnapped by someone and they've cut off

I've got the.

You're not going to, buddy.

Tell me what I'm not going to believe.

I really need upon the same thing as well.

It's it's it's a helpful rumination. A lot of I've told some people this and they tell me something that I don't like. They tell me, oh, but you're a manifesting it. That's total bullshits. There's no way.

I mean, wow, I don't know anything about that. But I don't know anything about.

Guy on the computer.

I'm literal nobody. I'm not even green or on the computer. I'm just a basic wait bitch, and you're my peloton drinking whiskey. Like this is so dangerous. If I died tonight, no one would even find my body for four days. But regardless, I think we at the end of the day our conversation could just say, you know, we gotta be grateful. Let's just be grateful. We have our limbs and that should be enough.

I agree. Well, thank you so much for for for coming into my coming into my stream, Matt, do you everyone for us of the night.

Thank you so much, ma'am. I love you.

Bye?

What pull from Brando?

Brando like Marlin?

Oh hello, let me quickly pause my stream. Here, how's it going.

It's it's gone great. You have a wonderful, succulent voice.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

So I have a thing that I want to talk to you about that I'm experiencing right now at this very moment.

Okay, I'd love to hear it.

It is that when I am going to meet someone or talk to someone that has a large following, are you usually get a little bit anxious. I like it because I know that they're people and they're just trying to live their lives. But I feel like they interact with so many people that I'm bothering them.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. If I were to start a Twitch stream in which the whole point of it was for people to call in, and then when people did I felt annoyed by them, I would be the biggest fucking douche in the entire planet Earth. And you know what, that's a possible I could be the biggest douche in the If that were true, and I am the biggest douche in the entire world, then you shouldn't be nervous. You shouldn't care about my approval of you because I'm a douche.

That is true. I appreciate that.

How often do you you say this is as you the way you're talking about it is like it's something that you encounter often. How often do you do you find yourself in this situation?

Pretty often? I wouldn't say too often, I guess, like, asides from like big people, I sometimes feel it with just like strangers, you know. But yeah, I was.

Gonna say, I feel like I was wondering, how much does this have to do with like, I mean, you know, the internet is stupid, but uh, how much like when you're just talking to people.

When I'm talking to people, I usually am not a fan of when the conversation comes to a halt. But like, I know that dead air isn't the worst thing possible, And I don't know. I feel like I'm always conflicting with myself because I get these stresses and these feelings, but I'm like, nah, I'm being stupid to myself. Yeah, you know, you know what a.

Big problem is is funny because I I don't know if it's a problem. But an interesting thing I observed is like, all right, you can you know, you know, when you get nervous or whatever, your your heart starts being like you feel very physical effects to it. And I've learned no matter how hard are you in your head, you're like, why the fuck am I feeling this right now? No matter how hard you try to outthink the way that being nervous makes you physically physically feel, you just

Yeah, not gonna lie. I'm feeling a little bit of that right now. It's calming down a little bit, though, I feel like there's always the initial wave, but like continuing the conversation with you makes it better.

Oh, exactly exactly. You know, look if we sit on the phone. Look if you and I sat here and talked for an hour, you know, by thirty minutes, I feel like, you know, I feel like you still wuldn't feel that way. We'd just be on the phone. I hope that. I mean, I don't know, how do you feel now.

I've chilled out a little bit? Yeah.

You know what's funny is sometimes like I'll go and I'll call Uh, I want to. I want to. I wanted to get a sense of how it feels to be on the other side of the phone. I've been calling into people's RPAN streams when they have the phone line and even and the following thing. It doesn't matter to me, like if they have like even if there's like fifty people. It's like because when I do this, I never feel nervous. But the other night I was calling into someone's someone else's stream, and I felt I

Yeah. I guess I can't exactly escape it then, but like I don't want to, like, I guess make people feel just as anxious as I do. Like with the energy that I'm giving off.

I guess, do you feel Do you feel as though you're making me anxious right now? Worry that you're making me anxious right now?

Not really?

Okay?

Yeah, And I think it was mainly because you just mentioned that you go through the same issue another string. Yah yah.

I tried to call the toad last night. Oh, he's pissed off of me. Oh really, do you know the toad?

I've seen the toad, but I have not sat down and gave him a good watch.

I try to watch some the other day. He's pissed. He hates me that he's pissed off of me.

Oh dang, So is that one of the haters you wish would call in?

I love I love sozety Yeah, yeah, that would be interesting. I tried to call him and I was like nervous. I'm like, why the fuck am I? I had to say, I was like, what the fuck am I nervous to fucking talk to the toad? And I'm like, and I but not even that I call I called into you know, I've called into other streams and I get nervous and it's weird. Right, it doesn't make any It shouldn't make

Okay, I'll just try to keep that in mind in the list of things of me trying to override that, but I can't. Eventually, Well that somebody you say your name was my name is Brando, Brando.

Well, thank you so much for calling in Brando.

And yes, I will take the advice to slight heart, but not too much good.

That's exactly what I'd love that. I love to hear that that's fantastic. Take it to take it to heart enough that you get the value of it. But that if it ends up being bad advice and you don't, you don't blame me.

I won't. It was my choice to do it.

Yeah, you're right, it was. I love you Brandon, I'll talk to you soon.

Yep, I love you too.

Wink all from Arianna.

All right, we have Wllana and Arianna.

All Hello, Ari, can you hear me?

Hello? Yes, I can hear you now?

Yeah?

Yeah? Hello? You know what what?

Oh?

I'm good.

I was gonna say, Actually, I'm proving your theory wrong. I was actually expecting to be here. So your whole theory about not wanting to not think you're gonna get on stream didn't work.

So you know, uh, I love when my theories are proven wrong. I love when my I want my credibility to be as low as humanly possible, because then no one will ever trust me or expect anything from me ever, and that will equate to greater freedom for my for myself. You know, if you, if you, if you have a past of having theories and all your theories are always cracked, people are gonna be looking at you. They're gonna be like, so, what's your theory on this? And you can be like, uh, fuck,

I mean, if you think about it, like, what is what makes a person qualified to have theories?

Like?

Really, I think makes theories past performance? Uh, having theories in the past that have been good and proven true. It's one thing I don't know. I mean watching being YouTube certified and theories, Ariana, What the hell is wrong with you?

You know what?

Everything?

Everything? Pick one thing?

I feel like my anger?

You're anger? What are you angry at?

I don't know. I guess everyone. I just I think everyone just picks me off.

Let's pick one person. We picked one thing, and now let's pick one person.

One person.

Give me one, but you don't have to give me. Give me a fake name. Someone you know if be someone you encountered in the wild, a strange injured, someone cut you off in traffic, someone you saw, someone be mean to someone, just anyone who do you hate? Give me one person?

Uh, you know what, There's just so many. But if I have to say someone my yeah, I guess my neighbor. I have like a neighbor that he's just so annoying.

He's so annoying. You have an annoying piece of shit neighbor that's the most annoying fucking person in the entire planet and deserves to die. What's uh, what do you hate about them?

So funny story. So this guy also has anger is shoes and who's actually a sub for my high school? And he you know, who's just you know those annoying subs that like just think that they are like great or whatever.

So like subs, he said, substitute He was a substitute teacher.

Or high school a substitute teacher, yeah, and like.

Eighteen all right?

What all right? So he was a substitution or high school?

Yes, and like you know, who does shit when you have a fucking sub teacher? Like, no one wants to pay attention to school, right, So you know, I'm just like listening to my music in class and this man she's like yelling at us. So he actually got fired for fighting someone. And then it turns out he like lives next door to my house and so I'm neighbors with the.

Sub all right, So he got arrested, he quit his job, He got fired for fighting. So who do he fight? He fought a student?

Yeah, like in the hallway, what what?

What the fuck did they fight over.

Well you know what, I go to like the really Vascal and you know, it's just like gang people. They just fight over anything.

So you're telling me that this sub was in a gang and he encountered to.

Stone, And I thought, yeah, honestly, you could have use the type of do that.

I don't see where you come into this. I don't see where you're involved you because you're too upset about this for how far I'm moved from the situation. You are, all right, arionic? Can I bring something? Can I Can I propose a theory here?

Sure?

Since I'm so into theories. All right, I think if you really can't think of anyone that you hate, I think you actually don't hate everyone, because I think if you did, you can name a lot of people that you hate.

I do you know I do dislike people.

It's just like, no, you didn't say you just like people said you hate them?

Well, yeah I do.

I don't think you do, because if you did, you'd be able to be able to tell me a lot of people that you hate. Gary, you have a lot of love in your heart, Ariana. Look, I think you have a lot of love in your heart. Actually, I think you just I just think you. I think that for you know, look, for whatever reason you want up here tough, Ariana. But look you're not tough. You're a big softy. You have a lot of love in your heart. I think you actually love everyone. I think you want

Thank you.

Of course you've a Is there anything else you want to talk about?

No, I guess the cats really been.

Don't look at the chat all right, there's no chat. The only chat going on right now is between you and me. Are you have a wonderful us in the evening?

You too?

All from Bradley?

Bradley, Yes it is. How's it going, Bradley?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Well?

There's a lot, you know, Bradley.

You know what, Bradley, Everyone always fucking says that, and then when I asked them name one thing, they can't do it.

Oh no, I can tell you a lot of things. My mental health is garbage. Oh the garbage. Relationships are garbage, or well, lack of relationships.

Your social life is garbage. Why is your social life garbage?

Partially it's my fault simply because I'm a hermit. I don't myself out there. Yeah, the main issue that is relationships.

How old you me?

I'm twenty six.

Your main issue is relationships.

You know.

What I found is that, well, okay, you're social. I feel like, look you, I feel like it's important to have friends before you have a significant other because I'm so like, you know, it's important to have your own life before you find a relationship. Because first of all,

Oh yeah, certainly.

Yeah, So I would put that on the back burner before you, you know, and try to figure the other stuff out first. So so you know, I'm not an expert. I don't know anything. I'm a dumb green man.

But I don't have friends. You have a very slight to you. I'm just very I guess picky about who I hang out with and associate with.

Interesting. Tell me about this picking is who? Tell me about why you're picky picky and what, Well, what are you qualifications?

I know it's gonna sound awful, but I guess it's in the sense of are they worth my time? Is it going to be worth in testing myself in this person? Am I going to get something out of it? Not necessarily anything wrong? I guess, more like a dependable relationship, whether it be in a relationship or a friendship in the long term. If not, what's the purpose of being with them?

Look, I don't I know you said that that's going to sound rough, but I actually think that that's very smart.

Well you're the first person to say that, then, No, No, I think.

I think it is. No, I actually think it is a smart play to make because a lot of people have friends that they don't like. Yeah, people are friends that they don't like because they don't make that play that you just described as saying, is this person worth

That?

It's very pretentious. It kind of makes me seem like I'm a very hateful person, even though I'm really not. It does take me a while to warm up.

To a certain person, but one, but I do.

I'm kind of like, you know, I've known you my entire life, potentially, I don't think that.

I don't think that. I don't I didn't get a sense of you're a hateful person from that. Oh no, don't listen. No, you know, I don't. Please, don't don't listen to anyone that tells you you're a hateful person, because you want to evaluate who you spend your You want to evaluate who you spend your time with instead of just blindly spend your time with anyone, because that's how because people have people have friends that they hate because of it.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, why waste your time. I mean, that's your time that you're wasting. And like the previous person said, it's very finite.

Yeah, no, life's just sure to not do what you're describing. Okay, so you're picking, but I mean that's good. So you have a few friends, so I'm assuming that whoever, And by the way, friendship I don't think should be measured in quantity. You said you have a few friends, right, Yeah, I assume that.

Because the ones that I actually depend on I know that I can turn to at a moment's crisis.

That's wonderful. Some people don't even have that. I mean that's wonderful because all right, because you have such strong vetting systems in place, everyone that's left is someone that you're spending time that you truly enjoy. Spending time with Oh yeah, I like that.

For you, Well, thank you. It's nice to hear some validation on that for once instead of me making self doubt.

Who tells you that, you know, but that's stupid.

It's been people I'm associated with in the past, coworkers, which I know that you're not really supposed to take that to heart. I have had several family members tell me the same thing. For instance, my I guess my father, I guess it's who you want to associate or call that name by. He's always told me that I'll end

Look, nah, dude, nah man, don't listen to don't listen to your father. If he's telling you that, ship.

Definitely gonna be able to go to that a lot easier tonight.

Okay. I'm glad. I'm glad because I can understand why people would think that that's pretentious. By I think it's smart. I think it's smart to be careful about who you spend time with. Yeah, listen, would you say your name was Bradley? Bradley? Look, good luck to you man. You have a wonder for us in the evening.

Well, thank you. I will I'll tune.

In again soon and roll Man, talk to you soon.

You took.

All from Diego, Diego?

What's up?

Get Go?

How are you? Diego?

I'm I'm good, dude. This is my first time seeing a stream. I finally committed and put it on, you know, wanted to see what was up in the full thing.

And how and how did you how's it been going so far?

It's been interesting, dude.

You've got some.

You've got some range.

I like it.

It's enticing, it's it's pretty nice.

What I was life with you?

Do you go have a question for you? Ask what can you do?

I don't know, man, That's one of the many questions. And it comes down to what I wanted to ask you today because I'm I'm turning twenty seven in two days. Man, I I'm like doing work that I don't necessarily care about, but it's financially stated, and you know, the.

Thoughts of just running away and just chasing dreams and all this just opens up all the questions and it's like, dude, how what can I do to like stop asking so many questions and start answering them?

You know. Interesting, Okay, so you say, are you ask too many questions? Tell me? Tell me some of these questions you're asking.

I don't know. Is it like should I should I move apartments because I've already been here long enough for something? Or should I drive around the country but now there's COVID and all this crap. Or should I change a job now? Or do I risk it with the blah blah blah. The list just starts going off, you know, and then it's like too much.

M Let me ask you? So have you uh? I mean, what do you value? What do you want to do with your life? I'm sorry, ahead.

No, no, no, go for it. You found up?

You follow up?

Well, I was gonna say, I found recently. I've been thinking about this lately. Is all these it's like very tangible decisions, right of should I drive across the country, should I do this? Should I do that? I feel like they get easier once you get a little bit less tangible in terms of thinking about what you want. Like, you know, I've decided I value three things, right, now in my own life, at least where I'm at in my own I mean, these values are elastic and the

Yeah, I guess, you know, make it more abstract so it's less you know, constricting, if you will.

Yeah, So like this thing of I want to drive across the country. When you're thinking about what you want out of life in a general sense, if you've decided one of your core values is that in your life you would like adventure exactly.

So yeah, I just want the experience. Yeah, I want an adventure. I want stories to tell later, you know.

Of course, of course, then I think that once you've decided that that is something you want, I think you can make decisions with that in mind.

Hm hmm.

What kind of adventures do you want to go on?

I want to I don't know, I want to chase music, you know, I want to chase the the weird scene of just meeting people at shows and different.

I don't know, it's ever since I fell in level like the sixties seventies Gypsy Hit Bey Entourage. Feel it just brought me a lot of joy. And I just liked when people, I don't know, they just had it. Seems like they had less on their plate, so they just fucking went for it.

You know what's on your plate right now?

Well, I don't know, like, you know, keep the family in touch, the job, like trying to keep a normal social life, trying to have a healthy relationship, trying to I don't know if I'm like over you know, overreaching myself or like you know, spreading little too like too little butter over too much bread type deal. But I feel like I don't know if it was me thinking that life was simpler in a time when I didn't even experience.

But I don't know.

I I guess I envy the people that somehow have the courage to really do drastic change.

Well, I mean, what do you I mean, I don't know if I were you man, you know, and no one has you know. The real answers to these questions I'm just sort of thinking, Harry. But you know, if you were to work backwards and do that thing I'll talk about of defining what you want out of life. Yeah, you know, so like if you were like, Okay, for example, I'll use mine, like you know, I want to have adventures, build community and relationships and make things and be creative.

H Yeah? I can do that?

Should do?

I feel like they are.

And at some extent I think I'm giving too much or too little time to those like I don't do it. Out of my entire week, per se, maybe a third of it is spent doing what I actually.

Like, What do you spend the majority of your time day?

Well, like I said, you know mine to five, you know, keeping the house clean, the you know, the ritual single no no, no, no, no, not yet. And you know that's another question. It's like, oh, the should I be? Now? You know, I'm the only kid am I supposed to have already had. You know, it's it's just like a

You know.

Ah, interesting, see, you know that I think a lot about the flow state. You know what the flow state is?

Oh dude, I the flow At least for me, the flow is in the general section of a pit in the music when I'm completely just when you're yourself, you know, and everything's working and the night goes as planned.

You know what you're doing, you know what you want.

You know that you don't need more because whatever.

You have there is enough.

Like it's hard to extend that. And I guess I just envied people that made enough drastic change to guarantee that the most of their time is spent doing that, as opposed to it being a hobby for me or like a thing I have to wait for an event or something instead of no, this is my life m hm. And I think the adventure comes with that when you arrived to that point through the journey. But I guess what I'm saying is what you know, like and what

You know, I'm not an expert, but can I ask you a cup, what do you do for a living?

Uh?

I provide it service for like a like trading software, so it's like stop in brokerage and it's like interesting.

And if I were you, I mean I would talk to your your significant other about this because that's a whole big thing. But yeah, look, if you feel.

Like he's like make the changes, you know, start looking for jobs, and then I guess what stops is like you know, all the doubt of well.

Is it a good decision to do this?

In the pandemic? Are you should you do this? If you're this comfortable how you were?

Like?

Can you afford having to be less comfortable? It's like questions from everywhere, dude, that I would never come up with until they pop in my head.

Yeah, I mean like financial financially. You know, what I would do is just look at everything that you spend money on and how much you can downgrade it. You know, can you live in a shittier place to save up more money so that you can quit your job and uh go travel and do what you want to do? And then you know, do you have the skills in an industry that like you can get a new one when you're done. And also, I still feel like you're

Can't tell if it's like a midlife or core crisis or whatever label you want to put it.

I don't know.

You know, it's like that's the main reason I wanted to call you today because I was like, well, I mean, I'm turning twenty seven. I might as well do this now before I get it the older.

I think so too, especially since you don't have any fucking kids. If you like, if you were, if you were, if we were talking and you had kids, I were like, yeah, I have no idea. You're fucked, but you don't have kids. How amazing you don't have kids. I know you don't have kids, Do you have a mortgage, do you rent? Do you buy? Do you what I really is tying around?

I guess myself, I guess that's what I mean. It's just me not making the moves.

I guess.

I don't know if it's just self doubt or just being too comfortable, or just because I think if I make a hard look in my life, most of the biggest change I was in the catalyst for I was just along for the ride and I had to learn how.

To enjoy it.

So I don't, you know, I don't know if I'm just too comfortable. So I guess I'm just looking for that drive, you know that, like I said, like the people back then, just fucking run for it.

I mean, I look, I think you should do it. I think you should just go for it. I mean, because look, what's the worst second I don't have. I don't know sort of, I don't really know the books on your financial situation, but I mean I would just.

Be like, you know, it's not I'm not saying that I'm you know, fucking in the rits or anything, but it's like, also, I've come to what.

You just did not working out and then me trying something else. It's not that bad.

You're not gonna die. You know, have kids if you had again, if you had if I if you had kids, you'd be But you don't have kids. You can, you can fail, you can. You know, you have room to. You're really only responsible for yourself right now. And look, if you have a long term thing and you're eventually gonna want kids, I feel like you're in the best position right now to do what you want to do. If I were you, I would go do it, you know.

Go do it.

Do the thing. You're gonna die, man, I really think you go do the thing.

Yeah, that's the thing. Man. Once existentialism comes in, it's like I don't know why I'm not doing it, so I don't do the thing. I just needed to hear diego, diego.

I'll see you on the fucking road, my friend.

Dude.

I enjoyed it this very much. I hope you have a great night.

I go, of course, I you on the road of the night.

Peace brother.

On the line Therapi get goes.

Down his eye.

Who's teaching you to how to live your life? But he's not really an expert.