“WE RAN AWAY TO PORTUGAL”

Hey, how's it going.

Hey, what's up? How you doing?

I'm doing great.

Yeah.

Everyone says this, but I can't believe we're actually talking. Called it like sixty times.

I'm excited, So I'm excited to talk to you too. What's your name, Dougs. I'm Nico, Nico, Yeah, like Nico Belick.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's go bowling, man, let's go bowling.

Well, Nico, what's up man? Would you want to talk about today on the Gecko podcast?

Uh?

Well, I I kind of wanted to, so I've been thinking about this for a while, Like I called in. I wanted to pay you a compliment. I know it's been kind of an emotional stream for you earlier today you had the other call, but like, oh sure, I just find you so like wise and empathetic, and I love the way that you help people through their problems without any judgment. It's it's just super cool and super chill.

Thank you so much.

Uh yeah, man, but I don't want to make it you know too uh crazy, I'm calling you from Portugal. Yeah, I'm here visiting. Uh. I've been here with my girlfriend for about a month and they're really really fallen in love with the place. And one of the coolest things that I've done since I've been here is I met a famous alpaca.

You met a famous like.

An I page. Yeah, if you've ever seen the movie Color Out of Space, the new one with Nick Cage, it's got a couple of alpacas in there, and those alpacas live in Portugal. And we were looking on, you know, online, and we found this lady with an alpaca farm and she's like, yeah, you know, I've done some filming with them, with like Nick Cage, and she just casually dropped it. But obviously you can't just casually drop a connection to Nick Cage. So we asked about it and it was

I'm curious more about Portugal too, So what made you want to move? What made you come there? A month ago?

Well, I guess two years ago. My girlfriend and I were talking and we're like, what would you do if you had all the money or just you know, the ability to do anything? And I said, I don't know, fuck it, let's just like just go to Portugal and

Where are you guys? Are you in Lisbon?

No, we did visit Lisbon and Lisbon was awesome, But we're in a town I get as a city actually about three hours by train north of Lisbon called a Vedro, and it's a it's it's a place that doesn't have a Starbucks, So like a Vedro, a the a r.

I are a Vero Portugal. Oh wow, that looks that looks very colorful.

Yeah, it's super like charming and quaint and it's got like this beautiful old town but with a twenty minute walk to like a proper city where you can you know, like do city things and eat rabin and go to the Indian Spices store and stuff like this. I mean, they have they have everything. It's it's wonderful.

Yeah. So I'm I'm actually very interested to talk to you because I'm obsessed with the idea of like moving to a foreign country and like seeing what's up and you know, all that kind of stuff. And I'm always like googling around for places to go and ideas and stuff, and a Portugal keeps coming up as like an affordable expat location.

Yeah. Yeah, it's been great as far as affordability. I mean it's you know, it's expensive to eat out every night. I'm sure you know. I've been talking about going to airbnbs and stuff. It's it's not cheap, but we we've been cooking a little bit. Groceries are you know, reasonably priced.

Mm hmm.

So it's a it's nice from that aspect too.

You know, what do you what do you guys do?

Uh?

So I work for a software company and I do like a little bit of consulting on the side. And my girlfriend, she's currently she's a medical assistant, but she's going to school for esthetician like skincare. So the plan is right, well, we'll open up, she'll open a business here once we get here, and wow, and I'll continue to work remotely. And yeah, holy shit.

So you're so your girlfriend was So your girlfriend's a medical How does she work from home? If she's a medical assistant? I would assume she had to be like at a hospital or something.

Well, she doesn't work from home. She works in a clinic in Portugal. No no, no, no, no, back home, back home. I live. Atlanta's home for me, for us. So she works in a clinic there, and uh, she's right here. She's really excited.

Hi, get go, oh.

Hi, what's your what's your what's your name?

Hi?

My name is Emily.

Hey, what's up Emily?

Everything is good. I'm so excited that we were able to talk to you. We've been listening to your podcast for a while and every time we're like, oh my gosh, we should call. And it's so exciting to be talking to you.

Oh, it's exciting to be talking to you too. I guess I'll ask you all the questions I was curious about. So you're you're you work at a clinic in and Okay, so you guys are both in your you are calling currently from every year rold Portugal, but you work as a as a medical assistant in Atlantas or are you like kind of taking a little sabbatical.

So yeah, so we we don't live in the city city. We leave in Canton. I mean it's for you, five minutes up north of Atlanta. But you know, if I say Canton is kind of like, so we say Atlanta And yeah, I work in a clinic and it's a Navy clinic. So basically we give infusion of vitamins and stuff like that. Two people. And it's been a new job. Been very excited to learn new stuff.

Very cool, very cool. And so you're gonna play you're gonna open a what what kind of business are you gonna open in in Portugal?

So The plan is to do an instituition program in the United States and be able to bring that knowledge to Portugal, so that will open the door to have my own business doing facials and taking care of people's skin.

Man, you guys are fing awesome. That's so cool.

How did you?

How did you? How did you? How did you two meet?

So it's a very cute story. So I was working in a paintball field, working in a sorry.

You said, a paintball field.

I have paintball where they should have paint Yeah. Yeah, So we I was working there for a for a while and I started getting along with Nichol's parents, her mom, his mom. It's very cool. So we are friends and then I ended up a relationship and one day Nicol asked me if I want to go out for treatma, But then that didn't happen. So we went out for New Year's Year and he cooked a traditional meal from my country, which was very lovely, and we haven't separated.

Sinton, that's so nice. Where are you originally from?

I'm from Ecuador, Ecuador.

Very cool, very nice. What what was I going to say? What was the meal that he cooked from Ecuador?

It's called that meal. It's a pork and it's the way that it's roasted as well, and then it's life. And the way that we that at home is with like a sandwich form with a different type of bread and then we put something that is called corgio and basically onions, tomatoes, lemon and that on top with a spicy sauce and it's delicious.

How how long you guys been together for.

This genre is going to be three years?

Very nice, very cool. Wow, paintball, paintball led to love. That's cool. I'm saying, that's very good man. I'm excited for you. Do you guys know anyone in uh in Avieria? Did you meet any crazy people? You got any like Kramer esque neighbors barging into your house?

No, but everybody's very nice. We actually, in every place activity that we've been going, we tried to talk to people and see like what they do, how they got here, even my tourists, and it's been very nice to hear from them, and then we keep in contact. Actually, the last time that we came, we did a cooking glass and we got along with some other tourists and we still talk to them.

Cool man, very cool.

Are there any other, well, anything else that you.

Have planned for for Portuguese life for the future, like any things you want to do or like other places you want to travel or any of that kind of shit.

Actually, yeah, like Portugal is such an amazing little country because he has so many things to explore, like the south, it's so much forest and then you know, the bitches are so so nice, and you know, there are so many things that you can explore. And yeah, we're just no thinking about that yet because we've been like, you're not going to place to place to place and I don't know it, but yeah, definitely explore more the country and you know the other countries aults in Europe.

That's cool. How old are you guys? If you don't want me asking, I'm curious what stage you're at in life that you're doing this.

Son MIIKOI is thirty nine. He's going to be very nine next week actually, and I'm twenty eight.

Cool fucking cool man. That rocks. That rocks. Yes, man. Are you guys gonna have a kid?

M So we are planning on not having kids. When we met, we talk about it and we are very definitely perspectives of having a kid you know, it's not just the apparent, it's so much that comes with it. And I don't know, I don't think we're ready for that faith on our lives yet or at all.

Interesting.

Interesting, Yes, what he's saying, nothing can change, things can change. Okay, it's going to talk to you about this because it's being kind of like a long talk.

So he's going to tell you his perspective.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's a lot of kids, right, It's a big decision to make, and then you know, it's a scary world, I feel like.

So it's it's hard. It's hard to know where you're going to be at that time. My my sister's got kids. They're they're young, uh, and they're they're wonderful, they're beautiful kids.

But like they're a lot man, Yeah, dude.

And it takes so much of yourself, Yeah, to be a parent, So it's hard to know. I think if you're if you're really ready for that, right. So yeah, so it's it's it's unclear, leaning towards no, but you know this is a possibility.

Well, it takes for telling me about your life. One of the reasons I like doing this part. I really mean this, I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do how I'm like, what I want to do with my life, and so I like asking people invasive questions about what they're going to do with theirs. I'm

Yeah, I mean it's all about, you know, finding new life experiences and finding a community and contributing to it. Yeah. I'm becoming part of something, you know.

So what's your name, Chris Nico?

All right, Well this kind of is basically the same thing. Ye. Well, well Nico, thanks for thanks for chatting with me. Man, did you do you feel like you guys, got what you wanted out this phone call?

I yeah, absolutely, I just I just wanted to be on the phone because you, like she said to me, listening to you all the time. So it's just cool to be a part of this community and this experience in another way. So thank you for taking our call.

You guys have a good one. Man, You guys take care.

Thanks.

Then you girls please, oh man, this those two have such a nice, beautiful life. That's so great. You know, I really meant that this. I Uh, I ask invasive questions about things because well, one of the reasons I think people listen to this podcast is too, uh for the reason I was just describing is to like getting it.

I don't know.

Hello, Hello, Hi, what is your name? Walker Walker, Texas Ranger. What's up?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Not much?

Wait is this Lyle?

This is Lyle? This is me? Hi? Hello?

What is who are you? You're a Walker?

I'm Walker? But I'm dressed as Bob Belcher mom and my Halloween costume right now?

Oh you do have what are your hellen plans?

Uh?

Not much.

Me and my girlfriend we don't. We don't like party, but we're going to like hand out candy to kids. It's gonna be great.

That's nice. That's a sweet. Do people still trick or treat? Or is it has? Has the world just gotten too crazy for that?

I don't we were talking about that. I don't think people trick or treat any more because of COVID. I think it's all like trunk or treat?

Now, where are you going to hand out candidate? Kids?

We live in.

Vermont, so it's like a little small town called Bristol.

That's cool? Is it? Like? Uh? I mean I grew up in the suburbs and there were like all these cul de sacs and it was you know, uh, do you are. What's the like landscape? Are you like in a little town? Is it a suburb?

Yeah, it's it's like a little mountain town. But we live on a flower farm right now.

You live on a flower farm.

I live on a flower farm. I work on the farm. Or season's almost over, but yeah, yeah, it's like this really dope house. We actually have to move in like a few weeks. So I'm actually we're really upset about it, but it'll be good in the long runs.

Wait, tell me more about your life. You live on a flower farm in Vermont. Who who are you? How did you? How did you become that?

I'm I'm the Texas Ranger. No, I'm just I grew up in South Carolina and I decided I wanted to be a sea instructor. So like three years ago, I moved out to Vermont and best decision I ever made. So now I spend my life doing seasonal work. I've been doing it.

For like three years. Sorry, I just.

Got a little nervous because I just realized some on the.

Phone with you.

But but yeah, no, I've been doing seasonal work for like three years. So I ski instruct in the winter, and I've been kind of like bouncing around from different jobs for like summer and spring and stuff.

Cool. What's a flower house? Like, you guys make flowers in the house.

No, we like so we like grow the flowers, so we like work on the farm. But the house is just like on the property. So when he hired me, he was like, do you want to live on the property? And I was like, hell yeah. And it's it's a really cool howthing. It has curved walls. We call it like the boat or the beehive.

It has curved walls.

As curved walls looks like it looks like a beehive.

It does look like a beehive.

That's cool, man. How long you've been living there?

Not long? Like seven months?

Are gonna go?

We're moving down to like southern Vermonts to teach ski So I teach skiing at this resort called Mount Snow and shout out Mount Snow. But yeah, so I've been teaching there for the last few years, so i want to move back down to go teach there. But I'm super bummed to leave the house. That's actually why I was trying to call you. It was like to debate if I should move or not.

Well, why, yeah, why are you moving?

Well, mainly just to ski instruct because it's like it's my favorite thing ever. It's like I'm so passionate about it. It's like someone who grew up in South Carolina. It was like always like a fun thing. My parents like would take me for spring break and stuff, and I just like fell in love with it. So I was always like, I want to ski instructure when I grow up, and.

I've just stuck with it.

I really love it. So I knew if I didn't do it, i'd be like super depressed this winter.

And so you're moving to go do it?

Yeah, yeah, so we got Yeah.

That sounds you I don't have you don't it sounds like a great idea.

Yeah, I just talk, Yeah, I get. I'm so excited about It's just like you know how like moving is, and it's just it's so stressful. It's like, so I read a statistic, it's like the most stressful thing to do in your lifetime. And because young people move so much, we're like the most just out generation, which tracks I think.

That's a fascinating thing. Is really is that the most stressful thing you do is moving.

I think someone my best friend told me that, and she knows so much.

Okay, so you've got.

You've got your sources properly cited.

That's good, exactly exactly. I mean, yeah, it's stressful to move. That's why I lived out of airbnbs for so long. I didn't want to fucking uh deal with it.

Yeah, and moving furniture is the worst. We keep moving into new into furnished places. Everywhere I've lived in the last like three years been pretty much fully furnished.

How'd you meet your girlfriends?

We met at the Mountain Mountain? Funny enough, you didn't ski though.

Yeah, what what was she doing there if she didn't ski?

She was so we work in like the ski school, so she was kind of looking after the little kids and dealing with the parents, which is probably the worst job you can have in ski school.

Right, Yeah, what how long? How long are you living in southern Vermont for? Uh?

We have a year leaf, which is the first time I've ever signed a lease longer than eight months.

Cool. You sound like you you're doing good. You sound like you've you've got a nice uh life. Just from my where I sit, it looks yeah, you have a nice life.

I I like I like where I am?

Yeah, do you feel good every day? Do you feel peaceful?

I know, you know.

That's the thing is like I if I had, like you know, if I could go back and like tell younger me where I am, like they'd be so excited, you know, like this is awes. That's like the best situation I could have ever predicted for myself. You know, I'm living like cottage core lesbian dream right now, but like still I wake up and I'm like I'm not satisfied. It's like there's just like more I want to do. But it's I'm very happy with where I am. But I have a hard time livingly like you talk about

It's so hard.

What was I said? What was I saying? What was I saying?

I don't remember. It was the new one, it was the one you put out yesterday.

I was reading now, I like, I know I am saying this to be funny, but it is also true. I always forget that I have a podcast where I say stuff.

Yeah, it is kind of wild. I'm trying to I've just been trying to start a podcast with my friends, and I realized talking is just like really hard when you're not when you have to.

Yeah, talking is hard. Talking is hard. I'm talking is hard. I'm thinking about like, uh, I'm thinking about a life. I think about a version of life that feels really really really easy, and when I'm thinking about it, it involves a lot of not talking.

Like yeah.

Yeah, or like a lot of like being around large groups of people that you're like included in but you're not talking to any of them. That's kind of my dream. My dream is to constantly be in large rooms of people that like maybe that like I've organized together and who are all my friends and that I care about, and then just not talk to any of them, but just just be physically present and uh drunk and just not saying anything to anyone, just looking around and thinking.

That is the dream because like the vibe is already there. You don't have to like make it in it right.

There's nothing. There is an Onion article that's so funny and it says something like ninety nine percent of conversations do not need to happen, And it's true.

It's true most I saw that Onion article.

Yeah, this knows of the times you don't have to It is hard to talk. It is hard to talk. You ever talk? You ever just talked one on one to one person? It's it's it's genuinely so exhausting.

Yeah, it's what you do every day though, Yeah, I mean.

It's a little different. It's a little different because I do it. I'll say that it's well, it is exhausting, but it's it's a little different because I do it

Yeah, we also can't listen.

I find that I'm like, i feel like I'm like an entertainer sometimes at party, Like I love to talk to people because it's a lot, it's a lot. But like we were just we were just at a wedding and like, you know, it's like a ton of fucking people. My social battery has never been so in my entire life.

But that was also the.

Kind of vibe where like, if you don't want to say anything, you can just sit there and I don't feel uncomfortable. So it's like, but I feel like you have to know the people, Like these are people I've been in social situations with for like a while. You know.

Yeah, yeah, I like it too. I really actually do. Like sometimes I'm in the mood, you know, it is exhaust but this is always it depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm really to talk to people. I throw a little party at my house a little while ago one time, and uh, I was just I stood in the corner and I didn't talk to anyone for not the whole time, but for just like like five minutes. And it was the best that I felt because I'd gathered everyone into one room, but I didn't have to say, I didn't

Yeah, you just provided the stays. That's kind of the best situation.

Yeah. Like, like I do my live shows and my tours and stuff. I'm trying to figure out a way that I can, like how do I do a show? But I but not my whole show was about talking to people. I'm like, how do I do a version of it where I just don't actually have to say anything at all? Can like, can I gather a but can I gather a bunch of people to a theater and give somehow give them a good experience? But I but without having to actually do anything.

Yeah, it's like a riddle.

I'm trying to think. Yeah, I feel like you could. I feel like, well, you could just show up to a place to sit there.

I'm being I'm being like seventy I'm being like seventy percent facetious right now. Anyway, anyway, what's your name again, Walker Walker, Texas Ranger. Well, this was thanks for this was you know what? This was an easy conversation. This was this was this felt easy. So thanks for making this easy.

That's great.

That's all I ever wanted was a chill conversation with you. So thank you so much for kicking out. You took me completely off guard. I had just walked inside of my Bob Belcher costume, so I did not expect it.

Well, enjoy uh, enjoy whatever you're gonna do with with uh with that Bob Belcher costume.

Thank you, Thank you so much.

God bless you.

Walker, Thank you, bye, GAK, see you later.

I don't have a Halloween costume. I only have I have my Gecko costume. But if I went out for Halloween in my Gecko costume, that'd be really lame. By the way I do like talking to people.

I do.

I don't think I would do what I do if I didn't.

But.

It is undenied. It is sometimes I'm like in such a I mean, you guys know, everyone knows what it's like to have different states of energy, and sometimes I, you know, I really have felt at times in which I was at the head and there's no energy to say anything ever to anyone, and then times where I was like, I'm a genius and I can talk to anyone who ever. And it kind of oscillates between those

Bro?

Hey? What's up? Player? What's your name?

Carter?

Carter? What's going on? Carter? How's life?

Honestly? Pretty fucking great? Man, Like, I've kind of done everything and now I'm just like, what the fuck else.

Do I do?

Wow?

That's I would like, I'm so excited to talk to you.

You've done it? Do you mean for the day or just in life? You've done it all?

Dude? Like I feel like I've pretty much done it all. Like I'm like thirty one, I've gotten my masters, I had like a good job, I got a got a wife and three dogs, and I mean I don't want kids. I play all the video games, I smoke all the weed, and like what else is there?

Now?

Oh?

Oh my god, what I don't know what else is there?

I don't know what what? Yeah? That's what do you think? The answer to that question is, well.

I mean, I guess the only important thing for me right now is like playing video games, like I like fighting games like a shit ton. Yeah I can say shit right, yeah right.

Yeah you can say whatever man, Yeah, well go ahead, can't keep going.

No, I'm just saying I like I like play like a lot of fighting games, and I like, I'm trying to get mastered Rank and six Fighter Street Fighter six, and I don't know if you you know about Melee. I don't know if you know about Rivals of Eve. That's a new Oh okay, well, I apologize. Shame on me for fucking assuming. But yeah no, I'm like, I'm like just griding those, and after I've hit masters on those, I'm just like, what the fuck use am I gonna do?

So let's get back to your existential car. Are you actually having an existential crisis? You don't sound like you are. You sound like you're doing it.

No, dude, Like I feel like I'm doing all right, But I feel like after like another year of just I don't know, New Game Plus, I'm gonna start freaking out.

Man, Yeah, you are kind of on New Game Plus. I mean, I don't know, I really do. Like my gut really please don't take anything I ever say seriously, but my gut is telling me that you could just play video games and be nice to your wife and dogs and then die and you did, you did, you would get an A plus on your homework. You know, I don't know. Life is uh I'm gonna talk about something completely unrelated, but still I went. I was at meaw Wolf in uh Dallas, shout out to me Wolf,

They're all right under my feet, laying down, kind of chilling.

So you don't have a kid, then you don't sound like you want one. You have food and your everyone everyone has food. Yeah, play video games and play video games and then die. I guess I don't know what else. You wouldn't be Anything else you did outside of playing video games and dying would be just a bonus.

All right, That's that's fair. I'm trying to play guitar, but I kind of gave up on that because I'm fucking horrible. I'd rather press buttons.

Well, tell me more about your the crisis of New Game Plus?

All right? So, I mean, I actually don't even know how old you are. I assume that you're like, what, late twenties, early thirties.

I'm dying. I'm about to turn twenty seven.

Oh god, Well, once you hit thirty, you know, blah blah blah, it goes downhill. But no, like, dude, you hit like a certain like you know, threshold where you're kind of happy doing whatever. I've heard you're on like previous streams and whatnot. But have you ever felt like you're on New Game Plus?

There's a lot I actually don't feel like I'm on New Game Plus. I feel like, uh, do you want to? You know how I actually feel? I feel like I'm I'm I'm in Uh like you ever play you ever play Zelda? And like maybe you've beaten a couple dungeons and you're walking around the overworld map trying to find out what you're supposed to do next to progress the game. Yeah, and you're just walking around High Rule trying to figure out what where are you supposed to go? What are you supposed to do?

Uh?

And eventually get frustrated and you look it up on the internet. That's kind of what my life feels like, except I can't just look it up on the internet because it's not linear. So I don't feel like I'm in New Game Plus.

There's a lot that I still desire.

I don't think I feel good enough regularly to consider myself on New Game Plus. There's aspects of my life where I'm like, I don't know if continuing further down, there's aspects of my life where I'm like, I don't know if approaching this the way that I've been approaching it uh historically is going to yield different results. But no, I definitely still uh I there's there's a lot that I want for all.

Right, that's fair. I got another question, if you don't mind full of them at this point? Yeah, okay, So if you're not a New Game Plus, is there like a point where you're like gonna get like a new expansion pack? Because I kind of feel like I'm I'm ready for a new XPEC at this point.

Am I gonna get a new expansion pack. I I'm you know, Uh, that's a that's a great question.

That's a great question. I've been thinking about that.

I think about that. I feel a little stuck. But uh, whether or not you get in the new expansion pack kind of has to I kind of if I if if I could, I'd put the game down for like a fucking second and then come back. That's kind of Yeah, maybe that's being in a coma. Maybe that's being in a coma. Maybe that's maybe that's not being in all. No, I don't want to do I don't want to be in a clue. Maybe that's just like going for a walk. Maybe that's what that is.

But uh, can you.

Say your original question again? It was a good one. Oh so expansion packs is Yeah, the expansion pack a lot of that. It feels like it's mental if you fully believe I think that you, I mean, you have to have.

A lot of courage to add an expansion pack.

You have to kind of you know, code it yourself. You have to make a random weird dude, do you have to do stuff?

I got bored earlier in the year, so I started like running marathons and stuff, and like I've done like like like three half marathons and like like four ten k's, and I thought that that was going to be like my x PAC but it was just like really really bad DC with like no content, like no in game shot type shit.

Yeah. Yeah, So so that means that marathon running was bad.

No, it's not that it's bad. It's just like not fulfilling as I don't know, getting stable in life, getting a good job, getting degrees, having like things that you love. I don't know. I just feel like at this point I could kind of like pass away and like I don't know, don't make a statue out of me for being mediocre at best.

Hmmm, Well, what's your wife think about life? Your life together? What's what's her Uh? Does she have similar Uh?

She's like as a she's like as accomplished and whatnot. So like, you know, that's all good and dandy, but she's kind of happy, just like playing the last stage over and over again, whereas I'm like, this game's the game's this game's bonk bro, like we're the new Mechanics.

Yeah, I guess. How do you reinvent your life? That's a very interesting question. How old did you say you were I'm thirty one. Brother, that's cool. Well, you said you wanted to play guitar, but then you gave that you didn't want to. What about traveling? Do you want to go anywhere? Dude?

I want to travel, but I feel like if I travel, like things are just kind of you know, like when you leave your home and then you go somewhere else for a long time and you come back and home doesn't feel like home. I'm afraid of that.

What do you mean by home doesn't feel like home?

Okay? You know when you go somewhere and like you experience a bunch of stuff and you're like, oh, I want to experience this all the time, and then you know it's like kind of fake because you're gonna come back and then you're sleeping in your bed that you slept in before you left, and you're just like this, this isn't it man.

You're you are thinking that you're saying that you might like where you go more than you like your home, and then the world will feel like your home instead of your home feeling like your home.

I think it's the inverse of that, where I like leave and it shakes up like my fucking rhythm. And then I go back and then I'm like, all my rhythms all out of whack. This doesn't feel like it's how it should be. But then after a minute, it just kind of feels like how it should be.

Aren't you Aren't you somewhat expressing a desire to have your rhythm shook? Isn't that kind of what you're talking about?

This?

That's the whole thing, dude.

No way, I'm autistic. I like my rhythms, like you know, I keep my melody at a at a steady taste.

Okay, all right, So so so you're good.

Now I'm chilling, dude, Like I'm chilling, and that's like, what's worrying me? I feel like I shouldn't be chilling.

That's it. Uh well, you know, I'm like, here's the thing.

It's funny because there's a.

Like desire is so uh like paradoxical in many ways because the I really do, I really do believe in that whole like desire is suffering thing. But then it's like, when you don't have desire, you start to desire desire, right, which is what you're kind of which is what I'm getting from you. Is that you desire desire, which in and but it's a paradox. Honestly, that's a desire you then possess what you want.

That's kind of crazy because I always tell people like, dude, like, imagine when you were a kid and like you you figured out like how to spell and like how to color within the lines, like that shit was fucking amazing, Like it was you felt accomplished. And now it's you're just like, oh, I got to work on time. Oh yeah, I fucking I fucking hate everything else. I don't know, dude, It's it's crazy, and it's not like I like I'm

Time you said you think you think everyone should struggle.

I think everyone should struggle, like all the time. I think like getting above and out of struggling is is the true accomplishment of life, Like you're always fighting if that means I want. Yeah, like, right now, I'm like level ninety nine and I'm just I'm just killing shit.

Yeah, well, uh, why don't you help other people who you feel like are struggling?

Okay, so I thought about doing that, ironically enough, I like wanted to be a social worker when I was, you know, going to school, and I realized I don't like people. I like smoking weed, playing video games, and like, you know, I don't know, figuring shit out, and I don't know. I guess I'm just still trying to figure the shit out. Brother.

Yeah uh yeah, by the way, not liking people understood, understandable, stood shit. I yeah, dude, uh uh, you're good.

Just play video games and then and then die respectably.

That's okay, hundred truly, while I'm dying, I'll think of this conversation. And but before we get off the phone, I want.

To just hold out before you say what you got to say. I hope that in the next I hope, first of all, you're thirty one. I hope you live. I hope you live at least forty more years. And I hope that forty years from now, forty fifty, I'll give you fifty. I hope you live at least fifty more years, and I hope fifty years from now that so many other things have happened in your life that are much more exciting than this conversation, such that you you don't you're not thinking about it when you die?

What when else in my life? I'm going to talk to a freaking get go man, like I don't.

I don't know, but there might have. There might be other things in your life that also happened that aren't just this.

Nah, do not, dude. I've been to you for years now, I've like maybe tried to call her text in twice. And also I'm so confused why people say you sound different on the phone. You sound exactly the same. Like you sound exactly the same. It's ridiculous.

I interrupted you as you were going to say something.

Oh no, I was just gonna say, like, you know, to to you and the audience before you. You booted me off the lines of someone else who's more interesting can come and start talking, like, keep doing whatever the hell you want to do unless you're hurting somebody yourself, and then stop doing that immediately. That's it.

What's your name again? Carter?

Brother?

Carter Carter. I remembered it. Carter, Carter, I'm really happy for you. I mean that I'm happy for you. I hope, uh, keep keep doing. I'm gonna try to borrow some of your energy.

One one last question. If you're playing Rivals of Ether, who you playing?

Dude?

I know what it is. I'm not. I don't. I couldn't. I can't name a single character. I only really play Melee.

Okay, okay, that's fair enough. I figured since you were a Melee head, you would have at least been, like, you know, maybe in the in the realm of Ether.

I like the lion guy. I'll say that, I like the lion. I know there's a I like him. Take care of Carter?

See your brother.

New game plus? Is that the key? I guess that's the key the key he's I was. I wish, you know, I wish I would have actually talked to him more about that idea that he said that everyone should be struggling all the time, because I don't. I don't know. Uh, I don't know if I think that's true or not. I have no idea. I'm not. I'm not God. I wish I was. I actually I don't. I don't wish I was God. That's way too much. That's too much to be God. I'm perfectly okay. I think being mortal

Can you hear me?

Yes?

Hi?

What is your name?

Elena?

Elena? What's up? Elena? How you doing? Dude?

Nothing much, very chill today. I you know, opt on your stream because I thought you were streaming.

Where are you? Sound like you're in a public place of some kind.

Oh no, I am so sorry. I am in my living room.

Very cool, very nice. Well Elena, what do you want to talk about today?

Well? Actually I went to go see you in Pittsburgh and I was like, like I kind of had a little bit of a self realization based off of when your uh, your guys is prompts.

One of our prompts.

Yeah. On the guy was talking about how, you know, his life was perfect, and it was kind of like, you know, yeah, I don't.

Can I can? I can I give the listeners some context to what you're what you're about to talk about? Course, So I did a show in in Pittsburgh at the Bottle Rocket Comedy Club shout out the Battle Rocket Comedy Club. That place rocks, and this guy came on stage and he talked about how he's He basically was saying that he's like an alcoholic, but that his life is pretty great, and so he has no incentive to change. Would you say that's accurate?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah he was based. That's basically what he was saying. So tell me, tell me more about your experience.

Uh listening to him talk, yeah, so I was like, damn, like I feel the I feel this way, like I only have one hinderance in my life, and.

Besides that, I feel absolutely wonderful.

Yeah, I didn't have good Uh. I was kind of amazed by that guy too. I was thinking about his situation because you know, he's he was definitely coming off like he was more satisfied with his life than I am with mine, and I didn't know, uh, And so I really questioned it. I was really thinking about it. I actually was thinking about that guy a lot as while I was on stage with him and a little bit after, because I was like, is if your life is truly But that's the question, is there are you?

Right.

So I'm currently in school and I work a part time job. But like I have one problem in my life, and that's that I have chronic pain.

But your life is good other than that.

Yeah, I mean i'd say, like the problem with it though, is you know, it definitely is a mental toll. And so I guess that's what I wanted to talk to you about today, because like, you know, it feels great otherwise, but you know, brings it puts you down sometimes.

I do have to say, I think having chronic pain is different from alcoholism because the chronic pain. Yeah, that would say, that's a lot, that's a lot. Yeah, because that guy was like, I drink seven beers a day and my life is perfect, so I'm never gonna stop. I think it's a little bit different from enjoy finding way of finding how to uh really enjoy life despite chronic pain. So I don't actually think those are remotely comparable situations. But I'm I'm impressed. I'm impressed. I'm impressed

Yeah, So, I I've had a chronic pains for about the past six years, and like you know, it's getting to the point where I'm I'm a little snappy and I feel terrible, And just to like preface, I I did sign up to go to actual therapy, so but I thought i'd call and get your opinion on it.

My opinion on what exactly.

Onke? How how do you think you would manage something like this where you know it kind of hinders daily life and just how to stay mentally well with it?

You know? But yeah, I used so sorry. I really wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I was I was talking on the last podcast. I was talking about that guy, Kendrick Norton Junior, who got his arm cut off like five years ago in a car accident. I don't know if you listened to that, but that guy got his car cut off in a car accident. And I was like looking at his Instagram recently and he was like smiling and enjoying life.

So abdominal pain and it's just like kind of like a nice snapping you over and over again.

Mm hm mm hmmm. Uh. I mean, well, I don't know why you want my opinion on it, because you're you open to this call by saying that you're doing great and enjoying life. So I mean I want your opinion on it. Well, how do you do it?

I mean, I'm I'm pretty thankful for the things I have, so like, yeah, life is life is great. But then I feel so bad because I take, I take it's it's more frustrating than anything to have the paint. So I feel bad because like I get moody and snappy, and my boyfriend has to deal with it and my friends, so it's it's, you know, it's hard because I'm a little bit of a I get moody, I guess so.

But so other than that, I mean, you're doing I mean you have friends and you have a boyfriend, and you're you're you're you're chilling withstanding it. Yeah that's pretty good. Uh, I'm impressed. I'm impressed by that. Now, if I have a little I have a little pimple on my nose, and I'm about ready to just cut the whole fucking thing off. So uh, yeah, I have. I have a little pimple on my nose, and it's ruined my entire life.

I appreciate that. Yeah, no, because, like I think, one of the biggest factors to mental problems is actually another thing from your show is the one guy was talking about having a Oh my gosh, what's what's the male opposite of a shysterectomy?

And and does scopy and and no no, no, all that like.

No, no, the yeah vasectomy ohect me.

Oh yes, okay. So also at that Pittsburgh show, somebody came on stage to talk about having a vasectomy. Yes, yes, yes, yeah.

And so you know, I'm currently in college and I've gone to all these doctors since I had the problems, and I was like, dude, if it's because it stems from my uterus? And so I said, if you have to take this out, because what I have is chronic, If you have to take this out, I am one hundred percent willing. And unlike male doctors, they say, oh no, like you can't really do anything, like you're too young, you might change your mind, stuff like that.

So wait, so male doctors are more likely to take out the uterus than the female doctors. No, like.

The women are less likely to be able to have a permanent change to their like reproductive organs than males. Like males are more likely to get the yes women, it's like, no, you your husband might want kids. Stuff like that.

Is so art.

Have you tried to get your uterus removed?

Yes? I haven't. They've all told me and no, you're too young, you're too young.

How old are you?

I am nineteen?

Uh?

I mean?

Is did the doctors tell you that if you got it removed, we get rid of the pain.

They said that it could help. And at this point I'm like, I will do anything.

Well, she that's cool. Do do go do do go see a doctor and whatever the doctor says, that's probably cool. Right do you take like do you take like meds for it? Yeah?

I do. The problem with that is, like I am very against because I understand opioid Egyptian. So it's not like the stuff they give me isn't very strong and it doesn't really help.

Mm hm m hmm. Well you can. I mean, uh, well, this is good, this is uh again. I'm impressed that you're able to withstand any any pain of any kind. And unlike the guy who came on stage and then the Pittsburgh show, you don't have to drink seven beers to do it, So you know, good on, good on you, good on you. What's your what's your name again?

Elena?

Elena? Well, Alena, is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer or anything at all before we go?

If the dear guy from Pittsburgh is watching, he did a great job.

He did do a great job. He did do a great job. Well, thank you very much for calling, Lena.

Yes, thank you for answering.

Have a good one you too. If it'll, honestly, dude, if it'll stop this, if it'll get rid of this pimple on my nose, I'll I will also get rid of my uterus. I don't know if anyone knows a doctor that can that will be willing to let me, that will be willing to remove my uterists to stop my nose pimple. By the way, for reference the deer guy that she was referring to, I'll tell this story. There was a guy in the comments section of my

Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.

Why do you have to leave?

I mean, the main reason I'm gonna be boring with you in money.

Holy shit.

Yeah, that's great. That's by the by the way, by the way, by the way, a great reason to leave art school. No shade on the arts, but a little shade on art school, because like, look, man, if you want to be an artist, you can learn how to be a great artist to just on the fucking internet. You know, you don't need to give some fucking douchebag two hundred thousand dollars anyway. I mean, you're you're, you are done with that?

Now?

Do you?

Are you in any debt?

Oh?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah?

How much?

How it's not great?

What is it?

I want to say?

At least twenty to thirty thousand?

Oh okay, all right, yeah, I've I've heard, I've heard worst numbers. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say. Therapy goes on the line, taking your phone calls every nine dec goes to just teaching you.

The line's exper