TREVOR WALLACE GIVES ADVICE AS A GECKO

Oh shit, Oh shit, Trevor Wallace, Hey, dude, should I do that too?

You could do whatever you want here. There are no rules. I mean, there's a few rules. Okay, cool, but I don't know them. So you don't know the rules. I don't know the rules. So if we like, I probably shouldn't say publicly that I don't know the rules because typically if you break a rule, you can kind of get away with it if you say that you didn't know it was a rule, But I've lost your privilege, that's true.

Like you ever blowed through red light? You're like, I don't know that's what red meant. I thought red was like seductive, Like the light was like come here.

It was calling. I feel like the red light is a little bit more calling.

If you said that to a cop, he'd be like, are you on mall?

Even?

Oh yeah, the red light means come here. Green is like green's awesome in biting. That's us, Yeah, we are green.

How does it feel to be a gecko?

I like it, you know, I feel gecko's are one of my favorite animals.

Are you just saying that or no? No, no.

I was just in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago, and every time I see a gecko, you know that mean where it's like you can't dry pass horses, not say horses.

I was that with geko. But oh, get I have never heard that. You never seen that meme.

There's like some meme it's just like you'll never pass horses on a road trip and not say, oh, horses.

Is that true for you? I mean yeah, yeah. What's been the most persistent thought on your mind lately? Trail trees? You said that instantly.

Trees, Yeah, just a good tree, dude. I feel like trees are just underrated, you know, because we're just like, think about California. There's so many palm trees everywhere, and you just like neglect the fact there's a palm tree on your street, just just stunting in front of your apartment complex, just like trees.

Trees. Tell me again about trees.

I just feel like trees are just underappreciated. They give off oxygen and nobody's like you never woke up and just like shout out to trees. Everyone's like, oh, shout out to the sun, mother nature. It's like yeah, but trees.

So you think people aren't grateful enough for trees? Yeah, what are you grateful for? Trees on the day to day life.

Trees on a day to day life.

My cat. You have a cat.

You have a cat. His name is Pluto. He's a little orange cat. He brings me a lot of because he's like a little dog. He's got the energy.

You know.

He's always by my side, Like when I opened my door in the morning, he's just there.

He's excited to see me.

Because there's a lot of people in life who aren't excited to see you. But your cat's never He's never taken a day off.

Can I say you are? I mean, I'm only judging off of the information that you've presented.

Now.

Yeah, you're a lot more wholesome of a guy, dude.

I'm a great guy, and I feel like everybody because when you put out like frat guy videos, people just think this stereotype that I'm just gonna walk in ripping a jewel, just slamming the Costco hot dog. I feel like I was raised right shot at my parents. Yeah, I think I'm just a pretty wholesome dude.

Interesting. Do you feel like people have a misconception of you?

M some I think people probably just think I'm just more amplified. They might just think I'm like Trevor Wallace with an exclamation point, Like they might just think.

Walls white clock guard, frat guard. Who are you when just no one's around?

Uh, Trevor Walls with like a comma after it. It's like Trevor Walls, but he's chilling.

Well.

I feel like you have to enter into that hill zone to really like that's when you're labbing out. Yeah, the crazy.

Energy load, you know, like a little tesla in there, charge it up.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't want to be the guy who's like, I'm so quirky, I'm so introverted, but like I like being alone.

Really, are you an introverted guy? I do like being alone?

You know.

I just feel like when you're on nobody else's time, it's the best time.

And to you go out alone to like do Like, have you ever been to a museum alone?

Movie?

Alone? I have, but not recently. Okay, I don't know.

I mean I really don't have too much spare time in my life. That's something I want to work on. It's like, you know, find more hobbies. What would you do if you had more time?

Five? More time?

I'll probably try something like a kitesurfing.

What is kite surfing? I don't know.

Somebody's just telling me about it last night and it was so intriguing and he was so happy about it. I was like, that's the answer. He's like, there's no phone. It's just you and nature. It's like a surfboard with a giant like kites sail and the wind just takes you.

I don't know.

I just want to try something new because I feel like people with a hobby, you know, that's our outlet, right.

I used to paintball a lot. I still like to used to paintball a lot. Did you get doing that? Like welts and.

Yoh yeah that be in eighth grade and not tell girls is a hickey?

That's that probably got you cool points, didn't it?

No?

Never, internally it did. Okay, you want more hobby? You you feel like you are?

Are?

Are you?

Do?

You feel like you're doing too much?

I feel like I just focus so much on work right now. But I'm like, like, if you were to asked me, like, if you had a full day off, what would you do for fun?

Yeah? Probably just chill really, but that's a problem. It's like, why can't I be like chilling while you're working or that, or hang.

With friends or do something or sometimes I like to just go drink in the day. You know that, because to me, that that feeling of just like a Saturday off and you're just like drunk at a bar. You just feel like you've kind of like you're using your cheat code points.

You're using your cheat code points.

You know, like you're like society is telling you that you should be out being productive on a Saturday, but you're like, I'm just drunk under the sunlight.

Right, But you Okay, but you spent Sunday through Friday being productive, true, and so you kind of earned the sunlight.

Yeah, i'd say so there's something about drinking in the day. We feel better than everyone.

Really.

Yeah, you've ever seen somebody in like a tuxedo or a suit and you're drunk and you're like, ah, do do you drink a lot?

Of you?

I don't drink a lot? What are your vices? Do you have any?

It sounds so lame, but I just love working. I just love putting out as much content as I can. I love just trying to best myself. I drink a lot of coffee. I think coffee is like like I'm like a that's your vice. Yeah, I guess I'm like a coffee snob.

You know.

I love a good like I make my own coffee with like a like a pour over every day, like I don't do the machine.

Shit. Do you feel like you're like close to self actualize? You seem like you have a good balance of life. I think so.

I think I'm pretty pretty self actualized. Is that the word used?

Yeah? I think so? What are like the tough what like needs to be massaged out for you to really really get there?

I think caring about others more? Okay, I think I think I'm just so like gung ho on just being like this, let's make the career career career. But I feel like, you know that, like there's probably some white people I haven't reached out to, you know, like the girl I went to prom with years back.

But do you do you like the people but the people you really care about, like you don't really care about the problem.

No, I still miss her prom great white buffalo she got away. She was an early contender for Love of My Life.

Oh really? Yeah, what do you look for when you are looking for love? What's what is it about a person that you find beautiful?

A good laugh, good laugh, A good laugh, a good laugh says a lot about somebody.

What do you think about this? I've heard that people say that guys don't want a girl that is funny as much as they want a girl who thinks that they are funny.

Hold up, CBD, hitting run that back one more time. They say, so, what was better a guy?

I've heard I've heard people say that that that they're not looking for that it's less important to them that a girl is funny than it is that that girl thinks that they are funny. Disagree?

You know, dude, I if a girl is kind of like, you know, she's like throwing jokes back at you, that's like my favorite thing if you can joke around, because I've also been in scenarios where I was like on a date or something and I like said something like very clearly joking, and she's like I don't get it, and then what.

Do you mean?

And then you're like, oh damn, I got to explain this dick joke in front of everybody at the Culver City Mall.

She've a podcast about jacking off, that's part of it.

Stiff's socks turn up, Yeah, it's not. You know what's funny is.

The name stiff Socks was just such a cool name to like pass up on. It was almost like, you know, people will just buy like a cool website r L because they're like, U's too cool not to pass up. It's one of those.

And then because it started with the title, yeah, stiff Socks, because in the beginning of the podcast, like the first like five episodes, our goal was to like go out do a thing like go to the San Diego Zoo and then come back and talk about it, and we'd like vlog the event. But it's like, why are we at the zoo with a name called stiff Socks?

Right, And then we realized just.

The back and forth banter was our favorite part and just like, let's just do that.

Do you jack awful lot lately? Lately?

Okay lately been putting points on the board.

Your whole thing is pricked up, right, We're talking about that a little bit before we started up.

Well, I think what it is is I've been staying at a lot of hotels lately doing because when you do stand up the comedy clubs. We'll just put you in a hotel, right, Sure, something about the air in there, it's like you can't open the windows. It's humid. Humid weather usually gets me aroused. Really, Yes, there's tension in the air.

The air is thick.

You know, you can like swipe the air and be like, damn shot, you got a little ass in there.

You're like about to fuck the air could not in here. There's air conditioning.

But okay, see like natural. But yeah, you ever watched into a hotel room and it just feels thick.

Yes, it's dense. The air is dense. I have the air is a little bit different. I've never I've never looked at that from a point of sexual arousal. But if I now, I'm going to think about it that next time I'm I'm in a hotel. I mean, I don't know.

It's just in Canada over the weekend.

And do they have air that gets you?

Yeah, because they have less pollution. The entire population of Canada, however many sections they have, is thirty eight million. California has thirty nine California has more people in a state than they do the whole Canada. So there's so much space. You know, out here it's pollution and everyone's stacked on top of each other out there, you can I don't know if they make everybody.

Canada is always walking around with these big beautiful boners all the time. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, hell yeah.

I think beavers are from Canada and because they'd beget in the wood, you know.

Yeah, I don't know.

I just think, you know, Canada, it's it's you're just not stacked on top of each there's a lot of like roaming land.

How do you like living in Los Angeles? Do you feel do you feel crammed? Condensed? Honestly? No, I like Los Angeles a lot.

I grew up in suburbs like an hour away from Los Angeles, So for me as a child, I always wanted to do like entertainment stuff and since LA was so close, Like we used to come to Venice when you were in like high school, and we would like just go to Venice Beach and buy like a bubbler.

Oh you know what I want to You're Jewish, right, I mean I am Jewish. I read I read that about did you have you ever gone to the shool on Venice Beach Synagogue, right, I've seen it. Yeah, you should go in there sometimes, have you.

I was.

I walked by there and I was like of called me, I don't know how Jewish you are, but like I have okay because I'm I'm Jewish, but I don't like, I don't like go to the stuff. But yeah, and I walked by the shore on the beach. It like was calling me, you know, and I walked yeah, and I walked in and they were like yeah, and I walked in and I and I and I joined the Kiddish. Really yeah, it was kind of nice.

I will say, dude, sometimes I drive past like Fairfax and that's where it's really like orthodox over there, and they're just so in it and they're so happy that you know, and they got the full fit. The hats are pristine.

I'm like, damn, am im messing up by not getting deeper into getting deeper? You know what's stop? What's stopping you from getting deeper into the judaism?

Uh?

Probably combining meat and dairy. That's a big no.

No.

Can't do cheese burgers. You could do judaism a la carte. You don't have to do the kosher stuff. You could just true, I mean, what is what does it really mean to be Jewish at the end of the day. That's a great question. Oh for me? Oh yeah, sure for you.

Uh, you know, I just feel like we could probably do better on the food.

Really, I feel like they got some good food because some there's some heat monts of ball suit Google.

Google's crazy. Google is like lasagna. But yeah, I mean it's I don't know, I just the Passover dinner. Shout out all my Jews out there listening. The pass Over dinner might be the most mid thing in the world.

There's it's yeah, I mean one of the pars plates, bone bone, parsley.

Salt Water was an episode of Chopped.

What was the theme of your bar Mitzwell, I don't know, but I had a sumo wrestler at it. You had a sumo wrestler. How much that costs, dude?

I don't know. I'd love to ask my dad that question.

What would they do? Was it just one?

No? No?

You probably me too. Wrestler suits.

So after party the backyard there was a SMI wrestler there, and they brought some wrestler suits and they put you in these giant suits and then you'd wrestle each other.

Okay, I thought it was like just two giant guys.

There was one guy who worked for the company and he and he he was he was he was a larger male, but but he he was like showing us how to do it.

Do you keep in touch with most of the people that were that were at your Barma's vanow I want to loop back to you saying that you could care more about other people?

That's true, not really just my parents, some peas.

You know, you don't keep in touch with friends from like childhood or anything like that. Oh no, that's not true.

I do.

Yeah, I just talked to one of the guys that was at my barmbus for yesterday. Actually, Buddy Jason lives in Austin.

When you say that you could care more about other people, who are the people that you need to reach.

Out, I think it's a lot of like friends that I grew up with, or like friends that I went to high school or college with, because I don't know. Sometimes they'll just like send me a meme and I look at it, I'm like, okay, But instead I could just be a normal human and be like Haha, man, that's a good one.

Well do you do you do you like it? I like it? Okay, that's that's leaving people on scene is like that hurts my heart at a certain point though you're you're I've I'm trying to learn this. Your life becomes so much better when you become just fully okay with leaving people on red really, because it's IMPOSSI it's impossible to eat. But it doesn't matter who you are. Well, it doesn't matter who you are. It's impossible to answer every single fucking thing. That is also true.

But I do know how it feels to be on the other side where you're like, oh, sounds good, I'll see tomorrow. It's just a scene. You're like, no excitement, yeah, nothing. But I think I dig, and I think that's a comedium brain. I mean, I think I dig too much in a context clues, Like if somebody says the word sure, I'm like, whoa red flag? Like, but hey, you want to go get lunch?

Tom?

Sure?

I'm like, it wasn't a yes, it wasn't a no. But then do you think that that person who said sure, do they know I don't think the vibes that they're giving out. Do they think, oh, guys short like they don't even they don't think about it too much. So if you're thinking you're reading too much into a thing, they're not even trying to put out.

I think I read too much into it. But I just know how I use word sure, and I know that if I say the word sure, it's probably not me being excited.

Are you on a higher level of self awareness than most people? I have done mushrooms? If that's what.

I I No. I think I was just more conscious of the things that I do.

Now. I go to a lot of therapy, and I think that really helps. Okay, I really like it.

It it It just makes you question the things you do instead of because so much in my life I used to just be like, I'm right, people.

Around me are wrong, which is not a great way to think about it.

I think that's just me following in the footsteps of like others are just like what I adapted. But now it's like, you know, I'm able to understand a little more of why I do things and then be like, oh, you know, I really didn't like that about myself. I'm gonna work on that.

Can you give me an example of something that you know in therapy you recognized about yourself that you decided you didn't like.

Yeah, sometimes I would just like if I was in a rush, like in like an uber driver was like you know, like fucking up or taking a weird turns or like they like misturn, I'd be in the back like.

What the fuck? Well, what is wrong? As the guy sayesn't it? But it's like or or you could have left the house five minutes earlier, right, taking more responsibility.

Yeah, this guy might not know this. Yeah, it's more responsible to myself. I'm just kind of considering others a little more and just understanding that it's not just all about me. And I think that's a big problem that I deal with, is just being like, you know, nothing, not everything revolves, aren't you, And you know, just considering that other people are doing a lot of stuff for you and just saying thank you every once in a while, just so those people just recognizing that people care.

Was that this was something you found out in therapy.

Yeah, Well it's just kind of like I would like vent about something and then he'd be like, well, because the good part about therapist is they don't always take your side.

Oh yeah. Sometimes they're like they're like, well, maybe it's because the good ones will tell you when you're being a dick.

Yeah, oh yeah. I mean the amount of times that I've said in therapy be like damn, I do be doing that. That's really all therapy is is just and he's got a UK voice so it sounds so he can say really mean stuff, but it still sounds good. It's like you fucking up the whole family, and I'm like, but I'll be like, yeah, but you know, maybe if you are doing that, they don't see that as it you know, it's just a it's an unbiased voice, which

And they're like, man, Michelle is being a bitch.

But then the therapist is like, now, Michelle's just living.

She's just tired of your bullshit.

So that's what I found helpful. It's just an unbiased view.

Have people in the whole observation of you feel like you're you're not doing enough for the people? Is that something that people in your life have personally told you or mainly just your therapist.

So I've had some of that, but then again it's like, I don't I don't know, like you ever tried.

Dude.

One of my friends reached out to me during the pandemic. I hadn't talked to my three years and I saw his name pop up. He blind called me. I was like, man, this is great. In three minutes in he starts complaining about the government is watching us through the phones, and I was like, this is why I don't reach out to people. Sure, Sure, he was quick to judge. He's like, well, you know the people, and I'm like, who, He's like the government. I was like, oh, you're cooked.

Well back when you did know that guy was he was. He also that guy was one of your best friends, and he slowly came.

I just it was one of those like one of my best friendes growing up. We both went to different colleges, we both started working. I'd see him randomly around LA and then three years went by or so, and then he just blind called me. Middle of the pandemic. To be fair, everybody in the middle of the pandemic was a little a little off.

That was actually, I feel like a great time to connect with the people. You haven't seen it a lot because everybody like, oh it because you know, normally it's like, oh, you live in this part of the country. I live in this part of the country. That's why we don't talk. But now we all doesn't matter where we live. We all live on the internet, so we are. It was a lot closer together by the far apart. Yes, everybody

Never you're like, hey, you're doing They're like shambles trying to figure it out. I just lie saw the pair. How do you think I'm doing?

The common the common grief brings all together.

Yeah, And it was, I mean it was it was like wild to see because even you know, there was like six months during the pandemic where I didn't do any stand up and then once stand up started opening up again, it was all these like outside venues and you forget that like even the greats like Bill Burr was doing the same show as some of us, just because he hadn't been on stage in months and he's working out jokes off a notebook and you're like, damn, everybody.

Is on the same page. We've all been taken down a peg. Yeah.

Granted he took off back to Arenas three months later, but still there was this moment where everybody was, you know, everybody just restarted the Nintendo and now we're back. Who's taking first place? To Mario Kart?

Feels like nothing ever happened? I mean it does. It's it's wild teviy Do want to take some calls?

I would love to take some calls. I know how frustrating it is being on a hold with like AT and T. Are they listening to music?

Yeah, they're listening to like really dark organ music. Actually really And the only reason for that is because I do not know how to change it. Did you ever have a ring back tone? But somebody was just telling me about ring back tongues and I don't know what that is. Wow. Do do you say how old you are?

Online?

Sure? Yeah? How old are you? I'm twenty four?

Okay, yeah, hold you twenty nine. I'm a fucking boomer. I thought you were like twelve. Yeah, twenty nine, dude, fucking old. But maybe that's where the disconnect is is like, you know, everybody had like some crazy like Hurricane Chris ring bag tone, a Babe Bay, you know, and then when it would expire, it just went to the elevator.

Do do Do Do Do Do do?

Everybody had that shit. I didn't know. I knew that you could have a custom ring tone that you set for when your friend calls in the ringtone.

Yeah, but this is what your friends would listen to, which is crazy because you don't get to listen to it. You're just like, yo, this is the music I like. And if you want to call me, you got to hear some soldier boy bitch.

Hey is this Jared?

Yeah?

What's going on with you?

Man?

It says here that you randomly got a text on Monday that your mom is removing you from your will, from.

Her will and I dads, yeah.

Okay, every wild if you got removed from your own will, yeah, I feel like you shouldn't. I feel like shouldn't be on your own will. I'll save myself five bug, Jared? Why did your mom remove you from your will?

I don't really know, Like she just texted me and she was like, hey, like me and your dad are going to the lawyers and we're going to take you off the wheel and put everything in your sister's name. And I was like, uh, that's a lot to give me through text in the middle of.

A Monday, Texas crazy.

So she so I like I called her and I was like I called her that night and I was like, what's up, Like why are you doing that? Like that's just so bizarre, nothing nowhere, And she's like, well, if we die, like we just think it'd be easier if your sister sorted everything out for it. And I'm like, well, yeah, but I'm going to be around like I don't understand why I'm not in the will.

Yeah, and I didn't do be organized. Do you feel like your mom does not trust you?

No, I think my parents trust me a lot. I just don't know there is Okay, sorry, there is something that should be known too. My sister is a funeral director, so she deals with wills a lot. Oh so that's kind of why, Like I think that's kind of their thought about it. It's like she knows how to deal with will's but legally I'm not in the will, you know what I mean.

Wait, so as a funeral director, somebody who like plans weddings, but funerals.

Yeah.

Okay, And Jared, what do you do?

What do I do? I'm an engineer.

Wow, I would trust you with money. Have you ever done anything in the past to piss off your parents or damage your relationship with them or make them think that you are irresponsible?

I mean when I was in university, I would like party, but like and like I spent a lot of money partying, and like my parents were like, you're really bad with money. But I'm like, I'm in university. Like it wasn't excessive. It was just like once a month maybe.

How much money are we talking in university?

Like once a month? Maybe two hundred bucks a night.

Oh that's not too too crazy? A little wild, A little wild. Yeah it sounds to me. Okay, So I understand that you are thrown back by this, But does a small part of you kind of get where they're coming from, considering that your sister is a funeral director.

Yeah, No, Like I understand where they're coming from. My issue is like, like why just cut me? Like you know what I mean? My sister and I could sort this out, like we're two adults. Like she's twenty nine, I'm twenty four, Like we could sort that out right.

Now, tokay, And she's older than though she's twenty nine, which is a pretty illegal.

Yeah, that is an early age today. I agree, that is pretty wild.

That sounds like you and your sister need to make a not a will, but a will for the will, like you know, an agreement and once you inherit all this money. But but that is weird that your parents.

But that's what I'm saying, is like, should I just push my parents and be like, like, instead of my sister and I going off and just doing it on our own, just push our parents to be like, just put me in the will, like, and that's it's the same thing.

Yeah, I think for legal reasons, you should try to get up on that will. Just because I don't know your sister, but you know, she might run off on the plug twice, if you know what I'm trying to say here.

She's probably been looking at wills her entire career and seeing how much money is going on in them and being like, one of these days, you know, and when I get my ass in one of these, I'll make some money.

Yeah, And it was her idea for them to go like renew their will.

You can renew a will.

Like after so long. Yeah, so currently like for my parents, all their will is going to like my great uncle, which is just weird because.

Yeah, like do you come from a wealthy family? Would you say, oh, no, no, okay, how much money you think we're dealing?

Like that will is not going to be pretty okay, like talk about Jared and then like.

Maybe like one hundred thousand dollars.

That's that's that's money. That's yeah, that's that's good money. That's that's a nut.

I would, Yeah, I mean I would.

I would. Or is there anything that you can take from your parents now and be like what's up? Now?

You're not invited to my twenty fifth birthday party? Can you like put something on.

The table right what's your what's your leverage? At this sturrand point?

You know you're an adult, you you you got to put some because they're trying to call your bluff right now. Now you've got to push back. It's like you're playing you ever play the game bullshit?

You're like, I got four aces.

You got to be like, oh that's crazy, you're taking me out of that. Here's my gamble coming hot? Do you, I mean, do.

You have anything that you can use as as as a leverage point in this negotiation or are you empty handed here?

No, I'm pretty empty handed. Like I'm just kind of hanging out, like I just like I live on my own. I don't even live in the same city as them, So it's like, M, I guess I just don't talk to them.

Just how would your life improve with this money? Why do you why do you believe you do with the money?

It's not really both, it's not really about the money. I'm not that like M. I'm just like cutting me over the will.

Yeah, it's harsh.

I remember my mom My mom cut me off the phone bill two years ago, and you know, it's a total of like eighty seven dollars a month, but it hurt. I was like we we've been on the same phone bills. It's like eighth grade and LEVI, you know, we're done.

That's it. Everything that you're expressing to us on this phone call, have you expressed it to your mom?

Uh? Maybe not as detail, but I'd like I verbally told her to be like I think I should be on the will, Like it's not my decision, but I personally think I should be on the will, and like my mom was like, yeah, maybe, and my dad kind of gave an answer, and I didn't really like I'm a lot like my dad, and his answer to me was like just like, yeah, I will put you on the will just to kind of shut me up and then not put me on the world.

Oh okay, so you know the game is playing because you play the same game. Yeah, yeah, dads do be saying ship. I feel like I feel like you gotta I feel like you have to take an L on this one. I think, I think so. Yeah. I mean, if you don't have any leverage, uh you, I feel like your only bet here because you have no control over the situation, is to hope that your sister is not trying to fuck you over. That's really it.

Yeah, yeah, other than I would have a side conversation with the sister and make sure you can maybe get it in writing somehow. But but it is, it's not even about the money. It's just about the family betrayal, and I think that's what hurts the most.

Have have you had a good relationship with your family thus far before this happened.

Yeah, I've got a great relationship.

Mhm, wow, Well do you of friends in your life?

Yeah?

I have friends, like, okay.

So you haven't told them about it to be honest.

Okay, so like I don't know what to say it, so you don't necessarily need to be honest.

I don't even know if i'm and my parents will have no idea. Really, I have no idea.

I don't know either. I just kind of assumed that one. I've never thought about it.

I don't like that you assume you worntil they tell you you're not.

You know, I almost would rather just found out right well, actually no, because now you can accept it and be like, okay, understood.

But the worst would be like if they.

Passed, and then you're like, man, well at least we got to deal with business.

Let's look at the will and Cheryl cut me out the will? What I give you socks every Christmas? And you cut me out the will.

That?

Because that's a bitter taste to go out on. Jared, I'll say this, if anything, think of yourself as somewhat of a martyr, because now people that are listening to the will check check yeah, and I think you know, maybe right now, I think maybe not right now, But you could bring it up in a year or two, you know, and you know, hopefully your parents live a long, healthy life and you might not even need to bring it up right now. It's just annoying that I got brought up at this age.

And maybe maybe for Christmas next year you just get him an empty box and you say, well, that's what you're getting me.

And spinning in their face. Jared, does anything else want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

No, thanks for taking my call. It was a good time. I'm glad to hear from you guys, and just keep on keeping.

On beautiful, Love you, Jared. I don't thanks, Jared, love you do.

Yeah.

I have no idea if I'm my parents, but I think I am. I would assume. I I mean, I don't know if they have, like other people who they feel like deserve them moneymore. You have brothers and sisters. I do. I have a sister, okay, older, younger, she's older. I think it feels like the older would get well, I don't know, the older will probably get more money ideally, but then also you're the younger one, so they're like,

We're cool, you know, Okay, I text my dad a lot. My dad's retired. He's he's like stoked on my career, which is awesome. He'll like just text me be like, oh I saw the shows and boys he sold out, you know, but you got to put that link up for the Las Vegas show.

Like.

They're very supportive. My mom is the reason I like started stand up at seventeen, so like she like and she like saw like an ad in the paper about like stand up in.

Town my hometowns. Gotta try that. My sister and I talk here and there. I could probably be better with that. Which is what does she doing? She does social work. She lives in New York, does social work.

You know, she out here helping people, But so are we.

How do you think your relationship with her could could improve? What could you do to improve its? More communication? Check in on her? How you do? How's life?

Yeah?

Any new love interests?

You?

Actually? I left my fucking sister on red really? Yeah? Yeah, dude.

Sometimes I won't text my mom back on accident. I always feel so bad. Actual text me at like three PM, and then I see it at like two am, and I'm like.

Fuck, Sam, Okay. So what I was saying before by like I'm trying to get okay with like leaving people on red. It's like leave pick like a hand. I think when you get you get fucked up when you try to prioritize every single person. You got to pick like five people where you're like, I, it's very important to me to maintain communications with these people. Everyone else also important, But I accept the finiteness of time and a little bit on the way side.

I do think that the like of a comment or the like of a message, it's like the bow on top. You're like, you're kind of sealing the deal that it ends here. Like if you like a message, you're kind of letting them know that you're okay with this conversation ending right there, right, it's a nice button on it.

The thing that makes me really anxious in any whether it's on a text or if it's in person, is when do I end this interaction? Yeah? Usually if they don't ask a question back, it's done. Yeah. M It's like yeah you like it, you know, yeah?

Yeah, Like if you were talking about like, oh, Santa Barbara, and then that person's like, oh, yeah, this this is great.

You could a be like have you ever been there? Simp be like it? Or see you leave it on red Canna can to tappen. Let's tap into the over analytical mind real quick. KNA like ever be construed as a hostile like or as passive aggressive?

Yo?

Yeah? Or is it always?

You know?

What I think is the most passive aggressive is the thumbs up on a message. The thumbs up like arguing with your girl and you hit her with the thumbs up.

You're oh, world War four about to start popping off.

The like has and I think the big tech people they noticed how fast repressive the like is. They're replaced it with the heart. The like is crazy. The heart is a little bit more wholesome heart. If you give me heart, I'm cool with that.

But if I send a whole thing like hey, super excited to film tomorrow his location be here at this time. Super appreciate you having there, they hit me with a like cool, you have me with the thumbs up. I'm like, they don't want to be in the ship. The thumbs up is the equivalent of the saying word sure, so if you're bro I mean, like sometimes I think the modern eat I'm older than you.

You know the show Boiling Points on MTV.

Damn, they would literally just fuck with people on camera, hidden camera, and you get like a dollar per minute, just so they'd have like a barist at a coffee shop just mess if you mess with you, you last twenty eight minutes and then you like walk out and then you get twenty What mean you last like if you get pissed off before you laugh or like blew up in their face this blah blah blah. But like I think Boiling Points that would be that would was

Maybe I don't know, I've heard of disaster date. But wait, what is it? Countdown? Or next? It's next? Next? Was a heater? Next was great too? Next week? You get a dollar per minute? I think too, But but I think there.

Would be one where like if you just thumbed up a girl's like messages, I think it'd end pretty abruptly.

I like the prayer. I use that old pray hands, praying hands, because it's like it's it's I think it's gracious, you know, not too sincere, it's not too I like to use the handshake one. I like it too. I'm gonna start. I'm gonna I'm gonna sap, I'm gonna swap the uh, I'm gonna start throwing handshick ones into my prayers.

It's very like good day, sir, because because you know, that's how you say body, somebody's just like, all right, congratulations, see you.

Hello, Tyler, Hey, what's up.

How's it going? Man?

I'm doing pretty good. Actually, you know, I moved to the house with my girlfriend and uh, we're living with six other people. It's pretty sick.

Was that six other people? You said?

Yeah, six other people?

Okay, so you moved into the Brady bunch.

What's going on here?

Living in a fraternity I mean dollars?

How six? How many bedrooms is.

It it has?

There's oh, he had to think about it. How many?

And then there's and then I have the master.

I'm sorry one more time. How many rooms is it?

So there's three rooms upstairs, one in the basement, and then I have one master in the second floor.

Dam he's making us do math, three rooms in the basement, and then one master. How'd you end up getting the master? What did you pull to pull that off? City moved in with his.

Girlfriend, who like, I got more money. I'm paying like one hundred dollars more rent, But I mean that's okay.

Yeah.

When I first moved to LA my roommate paid one hundred dollars more than both of us, and he had a bathroom in his room.

And now that I think back on it, he got a steal.

When you're like, when you're like twenty two, you're like, yeah, sure, perfect idiot.

What is the dynamic like Teller and everybody else in the house.

I mean, we are all friends. It was like this weird like I was friends with this person. This person's friends with these groups of people, and then you know we kind of like all meet and then I think we've all been collectively been friends for like about five years. I believe, maybe maybe less.

Yeah, is a lot of dirty dishes with that many people.

Oh fuck up, we are really in my one of my roommates, past roommate, we used to be very stingy about dishes and I'm gonna apply to this house because it dishes are like the number one problem when it comes to fucking roommates.

Tyler. I want to bring this up, but it says here that you called in because you have failed at your dream too. As you say, become an influencer.

I mean yeah, I mean if you feel like you know.

Well, tell us this when you say you want to become an influencer? What what exactly does that talk?

Would?

We're talking Jake Paul? Where are we at?

Oh?

Hell no, no, no no.

I mean like it's kind of like, you know, I I delve my toes in like the commentary community, Like I like General Sam, Naked Jakie, like all those people where they just have like a topic and they do like funny edits with a green spin and all that shit.

Mm hmmm, what what what kinds of things do you want to do commentary on? I?

You know, like just like stupid ship, you know, like I I've done it before and it worked, like I did have a fall going on, like TikTok ahead like thirty thousand, but it's just like each video kept on going just like less and less views. I wasn't sure if it's my fault or it's like I don't know, TikTok is like crack with bomb me or something, but I don't know it's and it's also it's just like I don't know, Like it's hard to having a job.

My guy, but you gotta do it. That's what I did. You know, I used to work that.

I used to work fifty hours a week at a production company and I go home and I make videos on the weekend. You really have to alienate yourself. It's it's fucked up, like I literally like lost friends, not RP, but like, you know, just like like I would spend Saturday shooting, Sunday editing and posting on Monday, and you just it's it's there is time, but but it's hard to be distracted because you live with fucking six other people. There is time. But also also I'll say this, bro,

I was just telling him earlier. I was like, dudehy, are my views down? This and that? Blah blah blah.

It's hard to get discouraged when your views are down because you're letting your views validate if your content is good, and that's not the case. It's just the algorithm being hard to get. Think about the algorithm as like a bar. You're like, man, fuck this, boy, I'm going somewhere else. You know, Try commentary with some different style, different format. Do a short one, do a long one. Don't let the views get you down, because views views fuck with me, dude.

You know, yeah, commentary.

Every time I looked that out, yeah, I mean every time views, I was just fortly depressed and ship and I mean it's it's it's a total gamble sometimes too, because like you know, if I try to do the whole like influencer thing and go that hard, you know, I miss the chances I'm seeing friends or family, and I feel depressed about that. But you know, if I focus on family, friends and work, you know, I get achieve something.

Let me ask you, this is your mom or dad verified on TikTok.

Oh.

No, see that's what I'm saying. You can't be hanging out with them, man, They're just chasing the cloud.

You know.

You got to just be like mom, dad, I'm I'm really out here. I'm in the hype palace.

Now. Yeah, you gotta really kind of embody the spirit of the influencer before Michelle necklace.

You gotta short shorts, thy tattoos, air force ones.

Well, can I ask what, like, okay, what is it about the the career, the idea of being this influencer, of being a commentator that is attractive to you? What are your like underlying intentions here?

I think the main thing is just like seeing everyone's reaction and seeing like laughing or you know, I think it's like an awesome video. I wouldn't say it much of an attention thing, but like more or less, just like I don't know, I like I like seeing people's reaction on something I created, you know, like the top of my head, you know, something like that. You know,

Yeah, I mean that's a good answer because I think anybody who answers that question, they go, I just want the money. Then you know, it's probably not the career for you. But I like your answer where you're like, I like seeing the enjoyment that brings to other people. So I do think you still have the right mindset

It doesn't look as good, but it is much quicker.

So if you're you know, worried about seeing family and friends and all that stuff, there is mediums where you're like, Okay, maybe I won't shoot a hold him in a video, but I can do the same commentary real quick on my lunch break or something.

Yeah. And then when you said, man like finding finding a medium that really works for you, and that is like not you know, because if it's going to take you an entire you know, a whole month or a whole several weeks to edit a video. Then you're not gonna be able to have as many like at bats at the internets. Yeah, and you can still do those long ones.

But it's like, the way I think about it is when you make these short quick videos for TikTok or something, those are kind of the bait to attract people to your page where they see the main stuff. Yep, they're like, oh, I saw thirty seconds of them here, Oh shit, he does this in twelve minutes and.

It's really well.

Yeah, yeah, so I think, do you don't have to stick to one but trying both?

Yeah, yeah, I almost definitely do that. I mean I feel like I delved in that a few times, but yeah, I would definitely keep trying.

I have.

I've been taking a long break and really been thinking about it. I've been thinking about actually just branching off the YouTube as well, trying to do it multiple platforms to see what Well.

Also, what's nice is you know, at the end of the day you will still have a guaranteed seven views because you've got six people you live with and your girlfriend could even be able.

But what's what's what's your thing about? You?

Oh?

Plug it?

Where you said thirty k on TikTok? Where where's it at?

Yeah?

Sure is it's Tyler period. Has period spoken like that?

That's that's pretty pretty good. That's confident. That's pretty good. Tyler has spoken period.

Yeah.

I was trying to go for like a like a like a Tyler has Tyler the creator kind of vibe to it. You know, that's how I got the inspiration from it a little bit.

Well, I'm excited to hear what if he's just like guy and we just plug.

I'm excited to hear you speak. You have spoken. You got to keep speaking. Tyler will be speaking.

I have I've been spoken.

Tyler's anything else When I say to the people the computer before we.

Go, uh yeah, I mean follow your dreams, don't fuck up.

You know, keep chugging long.

You'd be the even did fuck up and all?

Well, yeah, Tyler has spoken, Thank you, Tyler. Tyler has spoken, turn up.

Thank you guys, I love you all.

That was nice.

Yeah, you know, I think he threw me off in the beginning when he said he's like, oh, I want to be an influencer.

I think the word influencer just kind of has this like a anything to it.

Yeah, so when he was like, you know, I still like people like watching. I like the reaction. I was like, all right, there's there's some good here.

Yeah.

He wasn't like I want to go take pictures of the beach, and yeah, exactly. I think he'd be phrasy.

He's like, you know, I wish I could my commentary on YouTube would be better. Then you know that that's an easier thing to digest, right, but if you just you know, praying to Jesus every night, You're like, I want to be an influencer might be tough.

So you were grind you were grinding hard fifty and and okay, So so the things that he was describing, like shutting yourself out, not have enough time for friends of family.

It was one hundred percent. I didn't hang out with. The only people I hung out with were video people.

Right.

I would like go to work, and I worked in downtown Los Angeles for this production company, All Def Digital, and they had a big YouTube following. So I was like uploading all their ship in the day. Then a night I'd do open mics and then on the weekend, I make videos and then I would just like every I was like, I'm a whole myself every Monday and we'll put out a new video. And after like two years, like twenty seventeen, I had my first video hit, and then.

I was for me.

I feel like it was just like each video that I put out was like more wood for the fire. I'm like, let's just keep this fire going, right right, you know, just you know, put more logs on the fire. Because then I had a vine get big back in the day, and I didn't do anything. I got nervous and I didn't know what to post, and then I just posted again like three weeks later, and it had no momentum, and I was right, dang right because I

Now, do you feel like, as you have progressed in your career, like the hunger has died down or you because you as you were? You know, I asked you if you had any vices and you said that you you know, work is one of them. Like, do you feel like just as hungry now as your wear back then?

I don't think the hungers died down, but I think my perception is a little skewed now because like now, if a video doesn't hit a million views on like TikTok, I'm like pissed.

Yeah, which I'm like, what the it's wrong?

Dude?

Well, okay, you know the first thing that we were talking about right when you came in here is before we started streaming, was you were talking about like, oh, you know, my TikTok views are you know good?

Fine?

And every single person who makes content for the Internet has that thing where they're like of the video and they're like fuck. But there's like a weird okay, there's like a weird hedonic treadmill thing where like you've had videos that get like twenty billion whatever views, and then you adapt to that for a reason for no, and then you kind of adapt to that, and then you're like, Okay, if a video doesn't get at minimum a million views, you're like, what the fuck? But then when does it?

It's like money, it never does, and but I needs to remind myself and I probably wouldn't have thought about it until unless I did this. Shows like the day I got my first million views on Facebook and I was so happy. I went up to this other guy that I worked with at the time who also made videos, and he was like, very successful, had a lot of videos, do very well. Shout out this guy Kevi on stage. He had a bunch of videos do millions. I was like, dude,

But I'm like, damn, do you remember how excited you were for that first one?

Yeah, So it is like it's ah, I don't know, but it's just a nice to look back from perspective of that.

It's easy to lose that cause I also, you know, you remember back when like you had like a baseline that your videos would do. Yeah, and then your baseline keeps going up, and then when you don't hit your baseline, you have to be like, well, remember when you this is like the baseline I have now is so much higher than it was before, And then you have to kind of put into perspective like.

So, I think my my hunger levels haven't like tampered off or anything. I think I'm more just.

That's the what I'm looking for. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't forge, I don't know what the word I'm looking for is, like I'm still just as ambitious as I was then, but I think now I'm just or I don't know, like not about relationship. I think I'm just more like salty towards my own views.

Maybe No, I don't know. It's hard, you know, I'm trying to be better at like accepting things I can't control. And there's a weird thing with social media views where it's like you kind of can control it because you can control the quality. You can control how hard you work. You can control how hard you work, and you can do your best practices, but then you have to after you've done that, just accept that how it's received is outside.

If youre throwing a football, which I'm not good at, but you throw a football in the air, it's like, if they catch it, they catch it. If they don't, you're like, I did my job, exactly, who's gonna catch it?

Exactly?

Is the algorithm gonna fuck with it?

Or they're gonna spike that ship down? But try tomorrow exactly. Yeah, you have to be content with before you post the video. When you look at it and you're like, all right, I did my job.

Yeah, it's so funny.

Fucking did the best I can and it's in fucking God's hands.

At this point, I can't convince myself to believe anything. If I don't try on a video and I post it and it does like stupid numbers, I'm like, yeah, you know, just because I'm talented. But if I work my ass off on a video and at bombs and I'm like, well, the algorithm they just didn't. Like, I can always find something to blame, but in reality, it's like there's no rhyme or reason why some videos do stupid numbers.

It's it's it's just it's like gambling.

You just be like you never if you knew how every video was gonna do, I think they'll mess with you too. Like, if you knew that having me on this video is in, you would do like less views on YouTube than anyone else. You'd be like, I'm not very excited for it. But if you're like, oh shit, this is gonna do astronomical numbers, then you'd be like overly excited. You'd be thinking about it. So it's like it's good to not know how it's gonna do, because then you don't create based on the views.

Yeah. And and the more that you like track your mind to and your happiness and your levels of saltiness. Yeah, I got to connected disconnected too.

Yeah.

The more you attack the attached that your your your assaltingest levels and your happiness levels to the views, you just get fucked. You just yourself.

That's something I'd love to work on, is not letting views alter how I feel about my own self.

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. It is hard because you see the little downward thing. Yeah, and you're like, well fucking shit.

That's what I'm saying, you know, or you have like a video pop off and you're walking into a cold stone, like give me free reciss pieces.

You know, it's funny. It's funny that we're talking about this, and when we first started, you're just being like, because we're in this weird thing where we have the Internet and we're getting obsessed with views and that. But we start you said at the very beginning of this, you're just grateful for fucking trees.

Man.

Trees at the end of it, have views. They got leaves, Trees have a lot of views. There's a lot of people out there looking at the trees. Trees are probably the most viral thing.

Yeah, they got views, but they don't count them. And that's maybe how you got to look at it, because.

One view on YouTube could be one hundred people in the room watching, right. Trees don't have views, or trees do get views, but they don't count their views, and that's why they're so fucking chill.

That's a metaphor right there. Count your blessing is not your views. Put it on a Forever twenty one t shirt.

Let's see what's going on in here. What else we got Hello, gets is this Aubrey?

This is.

Aubrey. How's it going on? I'm here, Trevor, We're hanging out. We're being geckos fart and I hope you can't smell it.

Dude, I've been trying to let one rip.

I don't know if that's I don't give Yeah, I'm weird. It might be airy. I don't give fuck.

I can't do it. I can't do it.

I don't care. Even though I've given you permission, you still it's.

But I have to have the permission from the chat to do it too.

I can't. I'd have to get up, Aubrey. Can we just try to permission to fart?

That is a Midwestern you're saying, man.

Do it into the mic. I don't give a ship. I can't do it. The pressures on. What's going on with you? Aubrey? Is it Aubrey? Would you actually.

You had to have heard that? That's on chat forever.

God damn it, I've been I'm surprised you haven't heard. I've been farting. Really yeah, I'm gonna go in And I was like, damn, what if he heard me? Just do something? I've had like a non stop diarrhea for like a week.

Really it's there's call into your own podcast.

I chicklaying it with it today. Aubrey Audrey, Aubrey, what's going on with you? How's life? Tell me everything? Tell me nothing?

Oh life, It's kind of crazy right now. Not in a physical sense, but so I in the recent past year have discovered sort of that I think I might be asexual, and anybody who doesn't know what that is, in a roundabout way, it's just not desiring sexual activity, not really needing, yes, exactly exactly.

Yeah.

So, And I mean, obviously I've been sexually active before in my lifetime, but I've never been one to like need it. I've been realizing that people needed a lot.

Mm hmmm mm hmm. Now that you have a boyfriend and that you're having problems with opening up to him about this, is that Is that correct?

That's one hundred percent. Yeah. So he actually lives out of state right now and he is moving here next month.

M Okay, when you see him, do you feel anything sexually or you're just like, I'm just glad to see him. But there's no like sexual tension.

Yeah, No, there's no like I want to jump your bones moments there's yeah.

It's just uh and it's not him person.

It's really horrible, but no, it's just you and it's not horrible. But you know, yeah, just me. And I don't know how to say that to him without not offending. Well, I guess yeah, maybe.

It's hard to take for sure. Yeah, I think at it from an angle of like, it's not you, it's just what I'm thinking, because he's probably gonna take a personal pretty quick. But if you can spin it and be like, this is just how I'm feeling in life right now, all.

Right, and then there might be a Wednesday where you look at him and you're like, bring that thing over here. And that thing I'm referring to is genitals.

Is he decently do the dirty? Yeah?

Yeah, it's nothing off putting. I just there's nothing on putting.

Ooh, and.

You know I don't have any like I don't know the reverse of the ick. I'm not sure how to put it.

M hmm. Okay, So you're not necessarily like just disgusted or icked out by bisexual activity. It just does not particularly excite you, do you think?

Yeah? And I would say, go ahead.

Do you think they like. Sometimes when I eat too much like caesar salads, I'm like, I don't want any more caesar salads for a while.

Was there a period where you might have been too active with him and you tapped out?

You know, there's only so many times you can have buffalo wild wings before you're like, no more. Bet Doubs.

Yeah, that that is true, but no, we had so for our entire relationships so far, we have been sorry living or being long distance. He's out of state. So we dated back in the day when we were younger, but it was more of a I'm not even sure what's called that. We were younger, you know, it's just a young relationship.

Hmmm.

So I wouldn't say that, maybe not with him specifically. Maybe I overdid it, like too young, and that just made me very unattracted to it. I'm not sureable, but I called that.

Mm hmm. So are you you you now? Kind of are you? Are you desiring to just maintain a a just sexless but purely romantic relationship with your boyfriend moving forward?

I would love that, but I don't think that's gonna fly with him. He definitely could not do that, but doesn't that sound. I don't know, it makes it sound horrible.

But like you keep what you keep saying? Can I see that you keep you keep saying this sounds horrible, this sounds horrible. What what do you what do you know? What do you think is so horrible about it? You know what I mean? I mean, it's it's I don't think like you know, look, this is the truth. This is the way that that you feel. This is just is what it is. I don't I don't think that that you should be you know, ascribing like a negative attribute to it. That's making you beat yourself up? What

Well, it just is like off putting for me to even.

Say it out loud. But like I feel like our sexual activity, it would be me doing it for him, you know, because I'm not really desiring it. I could go without it, but then I feel like not that it's wort and I don't mind, but like you know, the design is not there, so I feel that it's different.

Mm hmmm that's interesting. Mmmm. Well you know still, I I I why do you think that that is that that is so so horrible? I I I guess bothers me that that it sounds like you're beating yourself up about the that you feel when it's you know, it's okay. People have people have feelings, they have desires or lack thereof, and it just kind of it is what it is. And I hate to hear that you're being so hard on yourself for feeling the way that you feel.

Yeah, that's true. I guess it is all a side effect of how I'm feeling.

And I mean, you also got to take into consideration his love language. If it is if he's very like kind of like that's hiss he needs, that might be a problem. But sometimes you know, whether it's like words of affirmations or like whatever it might be that might get that same kind of itch for him. You know, it's like, if you guys spend good quality time together,

You know, and he I feel like like he didn't really need to take a personal and I feel like, you know a lot of people are at here taking things personally when they just are the way that they are.

Yeah, you know, I think where you get in troubles where you don't will you hide your feelings. And if you didn't and tell him that, then he'd be like he might like it might come out in an argument. But if you go about in like mature way, like, hey, this is how been feeling, it's nothing personal, then he can come at it from a viewpoint and be like, Oh, I had no idea you felt the way. I'm so sorry. You know, how can we you know, how can I

With me, babe? And then be like, it's cause I don't fucking want anyone. Then it's then it's coming out in a hostile environment, right right, Put it preemptively, throw it out there, Yeah, you don't want to live with him?

And then like three months in he's like you catch him with a flashlight and he's like, yeah, sorry, you know, so you gotta you gotta Like kind of it is weird because I'm not a very confrontational guy, and I would be nervous too, But I think it's better to have the conversation. Just put it on the table, because that's at the end of the day, that's who you are, and you don't want to have to feel like you're living a different life just to make somebody else happy, right.

So do you feel confident that you that you are gonna want to have this converse with him?

Yes? I think I don't know whether to have it before he moves here or after he moves here. I don't obviously that's not going to change anything, But I don't know if this discussion is better had in person or over the phone.

M Hm.

I might do before the move, because if he gets with cold feet or something, is that what it's called? Because if he if before the if he like then cancels the move, then he probably wasn't the guy in.

The first place, right, Because if you're like, hey, this is yeah, I feel true.

But and then if it's like three weeks and he's like, oh yo, I ran out of gas. I actually can't move gas price or high, and then you're like, oh oh yea because last time he does how to move in then he throws a bit, and then you know, dudes aren't really good with reasoning.

He's all fucking moved here. You can't even give me a little bit of cooter, you know what I'm saying. So you got to like maybe just pamptively be like, hey, he just heads up like nothing personal, but just get it out. You're holding in a fart right now. Yeah, this is a big in that part, and.

You don't want to let it out. Let it out over the phone because he doesn't have to smell it exactly.

Oh there you go. I like that.

Oh that's a good one.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean it's really just testing the maturity levels at this point, because if he really wants to be with you, he'll be like, Yeah, it's not a problem at all, as long as you can enjoy each other's company. Enjoying each other's company is so much better than having like a crazy sex life, because yeah.

It's telling me I know all about.

It six seven eight, you know, seconds, minutes, whatever you out here doing. But then you spend the rest of the day with them. It's like, if if you can enjoy your time together, that will go so much farther than any bedroom chemistry. And that's coming from a get go.

I agree.

And gechos are very very sexually active, are they? Actually? I actually know very little about gchos. I know that they can stick to any surface except in teplaw, but that's the only fact that.

I have.

Interesting. I also want to say to the people of the computer before we go, I just.

Want to say shout out to manut Walk. I know, I know, Trev get kids Manutwalk minute.

I grew up there.

But oh yeah, peace out Internet.

Thank you?

Thanks.

How does it? How do you feel like now that you've kind of been sitting in the costume for an hour? Do you feel like you're getting comfortable? I almost forgot that I was wearing this. Yeah, that's what happens. I walk around outside forgetting that.

I'm It's funny if like you, you probably don't smoke cigarettes or anything, but it would be a funny visual to look outside and see a geck o chain smoking some like marborols.

What about me makes you think I don't smoke cigarettes?

Nah?

You smoke for sure? I don't smoke. Actually right, you just seem too.

Calm, and I feel like, how do you know I'm not calm because of the cigarettes?

WHOA?

I don't think about that because usually from experiences I've met with people that smoke right before they do a thing. But if the episode started at six five fifty seven, you're like, I'm gonna go rip up quick.

Yeah?

Sure, do you smoke cigarettes? I don't have you ever smoked cigarettes.

One time an eighth grade, my friend Jordan brought over a pack of cigarettes and he was moving, so he's like, we got to smoke an entire pack. And we went outside in the riverbed and we smoked an entire pack, just me and him.

I mean, you never want to do it again. One sitting. Oh, I was not.

I was so nauseous. I felt like I was on a roller coaster but I was sitting down.

Uh that's why they do That's why they do that, right.

But it was so funny, Like I was excited to go do it. And then we just like like by my parents' old house, there was like this like river bed, there was like this like creak and shit, and we just went in this alley way and we just changed smoke like seven cigarettes barely even in but like literally the eighth grade going into our freshman year. Yeah, it would have been a really funny visual to look outside of your window though at.

Night and seeing like two eighth gunters just chained smoking. Like the hell aly so stressed out about you smoked all the cigarettes that you like had sort of padded out throughout your life, but you just did in one sitting.

At one point I had three cigarett my hand all lit.

You smoked them at once. Yeah. You It sounded like the coolest eighth grader.

Oh dude, it was like ripping a hemy. This shit was I felt like it was.

It was fucking truck month. It was crazy. Do you get high? Do I? Yeah?

Yoh yeah, Like I'd say, I'd say, like maybe a handful times a month, do you?

When you do? You ever perform a little stone or a little drunkard and try not often.

I like to just be very like in control. But there used to be a show in North Hollywood. It was an open mic, but they would like book comedians at the end of it to like close it out. Yeah, And it was at a dispensary, and I felt like if the audience was high, I.

Wouldn't mind being too high.

Sure there was a level of connection.

Yeah.

Yeah, Well, if you're high and the audience is sober and you say some fucking cooked ass shit, they're like what. But when everyone's high and you're like, you know what talking about and they're like yeah, You're like it feels like you have a secret that everybody air dropped to each other, into each other and you can only access the feeling.

And it was on the same level.

On drecent Like if there was a security guard working in the front door and he wasn't high, he wouldn't get it. But everyone who's like high and it's kind

Right, because they their brains have been opened. Yeah, and you'd all like pass down like one joint. So it's like kind of the same strand so everybody's kind of on the same trip that those were.

But those are fun, but then the drive home you'd always be like, man, what the fuck my floating right now?

You ever just forget that driving high is like extremely illegal? Oh yeah, yeah.

You ever look up on your dash you're doing forty five in the middle lane.

You ever seen those billboards that say this is a sign not. Have you ever seen one of those while you're high? I don't know if I have, but I've seen signs that drive on not high, And usually it's like seeing.

My dashboard when I'm going thirty. Yeah, people are flying past you.

Yeah. Well, at least I feel like, because if you drive high, you're probably going too slow. But it's to the people who drive drunk that go fast, And it is interesting. Drunk, you drive fast, high, you drive slow? What do you drive the appropriate amount on? I feel like math maeah. Yeah. I feel like driving high would be okay, but only if everybody on the road was high.

Yeah.

I think you could drive high in traffic, But I think I overanalyze everything too much, like when you drive now, like you don't think about what your feet are doing. But if I was like hi, I'd be like, well, too much gas. I think I would try to drive fast if I was off the weed, and I'd be doing like sixty seven and be like this is too quick.

I guess there's a turn coming up. Man, driving's fucked up.

It's wild that we all trust each other on the road. We I mean, we listen to small white lines to be like, hey, stay in here. Okay, a car pool lane. We listen on that.

We're like like on the on a two lane street, just on a We're like jousting, dude, the fucking cars. Reme, we're getting high, we're getting drunk, we're doing math.

And the fact that anybody can just get in a car and then use it.

Yeah, you can get a car when you're sixteen, sixteen insane.

It's I mean, it's wild. It's just it blows my mind that we all just listen to street lights and directions. Some people don't, but uh, you know, they're usually in jail.

But it is wild that you're like, here's a car, figure it out. I think you should, uh, we should roll with the whole trying to change I don't know who you would campaign to or lobby to for this, but changing red and green because I do I do agree that red is a little more calling I would do.

Instead of red, I do like a violet, like a purple. Oh, because this is Red's like fucking stop. But Purple's like, hey man, what'd you doing over there? Coming to a slow stop?

It's like jazz. Yeah, hey, don't you sit here and enjoy it.

Red's too like fuck, well, I don't know what yellow does. Yellow is really just yellow is very passive.

Yeah, you also just like time to nut up or shut up type shit. I don't know.

I get to my dad stops at yellows. I try to get this joke to work on stage once. It's like you could tell how old you're getting based on how far you stop back from the red light. My dad stops like a football field away from the light, just so much space between him and the crosswalk.

You know what, that's smart. I feel like you have a better chance of not dying than the people who they try to gun for the h Let's see.

But if you're like fifteen, you stop in the crosswalk, you're like on top of a bird scooter.

Do you have anything you want to plug to the people, and we have like a little halfway point half way you want to do it? Well, I'll find another on tour in two weeks I stand up tour. I'm going all.

Over the US, Florida, Texas, a lot of other places forget we can get my Instagram or Trevor Wallascomedy dot com see how the tour dates.

It's a lot of cool places. That's really it. I have a podcast, stiff socks, you want to a phone call, I'm gonna drink some water as a get goes? Do do you think? Jonas?

Oh?

Hello, what's going on? How are you? My friend?

Good?

How are you get I'm doing okay. I'm here with Trevor. I'm about I'm about to shyly ask him for a fruit snack. I don't want to let him get like the first blood.

Oh fruits are young?

Are they?

Do you have a favorite one of those?

The waltz is probably the uh kind of like the raspberry looking one up there?

I no, you get first blood? I feel bad. I'll I'll take one. You gave me way too many here let me I'll keep these two dog talk. What we're talking about today? Jonas? Hit us, dude, We're ready, We're here, We're gecked up, We're bricked up, gecked up, breaked up, all the ups.

All right, bro, all right, so let me start from I'll give you some context.

H at me.

My friend and my sister.

All worked at the pool together as lifeguards.

And for like the past four years, and over the years it's been kind of a joke that my friend should date my sister because I thought her boyfriend at the time, which was like a few years ago, was really boring. I compared his personality to a slice of white bread.

Help, what's up.

Like plain white bread?

Like boring?

Anyway?

Okay, okay, fast forward.

The beginning of this summer. Uh, my sister and my friend started dating, and I was very conflicted about that. I thought it was kind of about I said.

Okay at first, because I was very surprised.

Because my sister broke up with her boyfriend at the time out of it, and then the next day started dating my friend. So I was like, I thought that was very strange behavior.

Why why why are you conflicted about this?

I don't know.

I like, at first I thought it would you know, it would be cool to have my friend and my sister together because, like you know, they're very both important people in my life. But and then I started to think about, like what could happen if they break up or if something goes wrong, Like I have to take my sister's side because she's my sister, She'll always be my sister. But you know, it makes things cloudy for my friend Jonas.

Let me let me bring this up and tell me this is true. It says here that you gave your friend an ultimatum. Says you asked It says that you asked her. It says you asked him my boss, it's me or your fucking friend. Yeah, it says here that's what you ask that's true.

Really, Yeah, that was a few days ago.

That was Wednesday, last Wednesday, as your friend picked aside.

Yet, Yeah, he told me he's sicking my sister.

Mm hmm. So now I was not expecting that.

Oh and and he told me that, like while I had COVID and I just got over COVID, and now like me and my friend Gobrol hanging out together together, and now I like have to see him, and it's like I talked to everybody except for him. It's just like there's this there's this eleson in the room that it makes everything kind of uncomfortable.

That's a tough one. He I really thought when you give the ultimatum, he'd be like, there's gotta be a better way to talk about this, but he he did. He's not thinking with his brain, He's thinking with something else. And I'm not gonna say that because that's your sister.

Yeah, Well, I believe his exact words, where I can't be friends with somebody who can't let me be happy.

Yeah, I'm bout I'm with your friends. Say I'm with you, I'm with your friend in the.

World where you guys can all.

Why did why did you? Why did you ask him to pick between you and the sister? What was the Are you going to suck him off? Or is that long?

Pop?

I was very conflicted during the whole thing, and it like this is lasted this entire summer, and I I got I started to get really uncomfortable because I think she would start coming, sorry, hangout and like I like hanging out with my sister, but like when she's like making out with my friend in the corner, it's kind of weird.

Okay, But so because it's kind of because it's kind of weird for you, you want him to break up with your sister?

Yeah, I guess.

Let me ask you. This is your sister and this is from a different perspective, not you, bro.

I don't think I can answer that.

I think everybody knows that their sisters attractive or not. You don't have you don't have to be attracted to her, but you're like, oh, my family is you know we look decent.

Oh yeah, I can recognize you know as a game recognized game.

Well, let me ask you this. Are you a good looking dude?

I'm a good looking dude. Man, I work you're a.

Good looking Yeah.

So if you're a good looking then it must run in the family, is what I'm trying to say here.

I do think there's a world where you guys can both. What you could do is ask them. But hey, can you guys, when you're around me, keep the PDA down. That's that's fair, That's reasonable. I think that. I think that's a reasonable. Yeah, I think it's a reasonable thing to ask. I think asking him to completely break up.

With all or nothing is is. It's a power play, and it's a pretty sick move on your end, but it is a lot to ask.

Listen, man, your sister, you're nineteen years old, You're you're adults. Your sister is a person that is separate from you. You don't own her in any way because she's just She can do whatever she wants. But it is tough.

I hear both sides, because you're losing your best friend because now you're going to hit him aout to hang out or and then he's with your sister or you're going to be you like, he's at your house and you're like, oh, what's up. Did you want to go play frisbee golf? And he's like, no, I'm hanging out with your sister.

It is interesting.

Yeah, well like in situations like that, it's like weird for me, Like, oh, all right, but I would do the thing where I would I would offer, yeah, just to keep the PDA down. But we're all about to go back to college and he goes to college very far away in Florida, and then and it's kind of being forced to end. But he told me that he expects this to be a long distance thing, and my sister told my parents that it's not going to be a long distance thing. So I'm getting conflicting information.

Well that's the bigger issue here. It's not the PDA.

It's a fact that he's like, nah, this ain't shit, and she's like or no, He's like this is the one and she's like nah, yeah, I.

Guess that's the case. You don't even have anything, you don't even have anything to worry about.

It sounds like you're gonna get your boy back a sap.

Well, I don't know, because I don't know if my sister's trying to play it for my parents, be like, oh, this is because my parents don't like this situation. They're they're very against me.

Why don't the parents in this situation? Why is everyone getting so I feel bad for your sister?

Man?

Why is everyone getting so involved in her shit? You, her parents, your parents? Why is there one getting in her ship? Let her fucking live her life?

Man?

Or does Yeah? Does your buddy have a hot sister? Then you hit the una reverse card you start dating his sister?

Yeah, she's they're older though they're like they're twenty, they're in their like late twenties.

Well, little little guilt faction. What are we talking?

Uh? What was I gonna say? Yeah, my parents are very against it. They're very worried about my sister because she's been making a series of not great decisions.

Series unfortunate. Okay, what what other kind of series?

No?

I mean, I guess it's you know, not a bit. Let me paint this picture for you. Let's say they break up, you get your boy back. But let's say they stay together and they get married. Now you're what's that theah.

I feel like that your brother in law.

Is your best friend.

I mean, if that, if it wasn't that way, that would be awesome.

But I feel like we have I think the problem is.

Twenty to grow and figure stuff out. If it goes that way, that would be great. But if they break up and now it's like I have to not talk to you anymore, that's you know, that's the worst case scenario.

I guess depends.

If they break up peacefully, then you're still good. But if it's like not a good breakup, then yeah, you have to. I think the big issue is is the PDA that they're pushing on you. You're in the back of an uber trying to go to the fair and get some you know, funnel cakes, and and they're making out in the back of a you know, corolla.

I think, I I I agree with that. I think I think if you wanted to, if you wanted to express that the PDA is too much, I think that would be That's an easy ask. I think that's an easy ask, just like, hey, listen, look your dating my sister. It is what it is. You too, are your own independent people, do what you want. Be happy. Because I felt what your friend said. You know, I don't want to be friends with someoney's not gonna let me be happy.

Of a good couple, will let you. Will make you feel like you're just hanging out with friends. It's not even like you're hanging out with somebody who's like too lovey ducky.

No, definitely, and that's any couple, not even if the person is your sister.

Okay, all right, I would just ask for the Yeah, I mean, don't tune it down a little.

Well, they're not going to be hanging out for much longer because we're all leaving soon. So I if we come back from Rake or next summer and it comes to that, I guess I can do that. But in that when I gave him the ultimatum, I kind of said, like, all right, I cannot be friends with you anymore, so i'd have to like bring it back from that.

Yeah, I would take a month by month.

Who knows.

You know, they might stay together, they might not, But you know, I don't really think it's too big of a deal.

Genes. Is there anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we go?

I just want to say, Gek, I listened to your podcast when.

I work out.

It's great. I listened to it on the way up to I did a roach up with my dad up to New York, did some hiking.

He thought that you were great.

Appreciate the work you do. If you do, If you want to ever do a live show, come to College Park, Maryland would love to have you.

I'll be in the fucking Washington to come down. Come down to Washington, d C. On the Miracle Theater. Oh, September four September fourteenth. Oh, beautiful you're going to when you come to DC? Go see Trevor. Was just in DC on the last tour. You miss Trevor when he comes back, go see him too. I feel as though I'm right there with you, looking up your sweat at the gym and hanging out with your dad. So it's beautiful having this partnership. Good luck, Jonas. That's a mob boss. Shit.

Yeah, I just think that you know that you can see your homies every day, but finding something you find a valid connection with the feeling of like love, and that that like that new love feeling is such a great wholesome feeling that like you will forever always dude, you will shut everyone else out just when you start feeling catching feelings for somebody right sure that like emotional feeling you get from somebody else. You're like, bro, I

Ilso just you know. I went like, he's what, he's nineteen, he's just now entering. They like, don't like, I don't know, learn learn, learn to navigate around without like getting giving people ultimatum. Dude.

But if I was nineteen, I'd do the same thing.

It's him, I'd be like, well, it's fucking me or her.

But then if I was a friend, I'd be like, I hear you, but I'm going with her. I need a prom date.

Dog.

Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel, Domino's right front. What Gabriel, this is your father, come home.

We miss you. Gabriel, this is your mother. We also miss you. We missed you too. What's going on? Gabriel?

Hey, uh, I have been lying to my parents that then I've been going to college.

Mm hmm.

In your where where are you?

You're not at home, obviously? Where are you?

Well, I'm in my car right now, actually.

Sir, I just got home. Okay, Gabri. So you're you're telling your parents that you're going to college and you're not what are you doing? Where are you going? That's what I was trying to ask when uh, your parents think you're at school.

So so here's the thing, so that I you know, I'm nineteen. I started college last year, right uh and uh, I signed up for classes. I paid for my tuition everything and it wasn't cheap, and I started going. But after a few weeks, i'd say about a month or so, I've I really just lost a lot of motivation, like for for the stuff that I was studying for. I just lost so much motivation mhm. And I just didn't have the I guess the just the motivation to go back.

So where did you go?

Well?

I would well go to work. I took up extra shifts at my place of work, and I just work and kind of lose myself in.

Okay, Well, dude, so you're you're okay. First of all, let's let's unpack this. Okay, you do your parents think that you are paying to go to school.

I am paying to go to school, Like I.

You're you're paying money. You're paying money for classes that you're not going to.

Last semester. Yeah, that was the case this semester. I think I didn't even bother signing up.

Okay, so so you were not you're not currently paying for classes that you were not going to.

Currently?

No, and then do you live with your parents?

I live with my mother, yes.

And is your mother letting you live with her on the condition that you're going to school?

So I don't believe that it's more of the you know, if you don't go to school, I'm kicking you out. I think it's more that I pay my dues.

You know.

Well, dude, I mean when you said you were, when you said you were like lost your motivation, you're not going to school, I thought you were like sitting at home or like you're going to fends like playing Xbox and smoking weed or something like that. Sounds like you're still being productive.

Well it was plenty of I guess it was plenty of that happening as well.

Okay, Okay, did have.

I did have my fair share of like smoke sessions?

Whoa is she listening right now? Dude?

You can get no.

Yeah, I'm on my own.

Well, I know plenty of people that as long as you're staying busy with work, I don't see it as the worst thing. A lot of people go to college to figure out what they want to do for work, or they get a job right out of college and they stay with that. So as long as you stay with the steady job, when you're staying busy, I don't think it's the worst thing.

In college.

You can always go back to you can always you know, go a couple of years and be like, all right, I wanted to give this quarrel again, But do you know what you want to do long term?

Are you kind of just vibing?

I'm kind of just like, I'm just going through the motions to be coming. I hate my job.

I don't like what's a job?

Man?

I manage a laundromt.

You're the manager, Well, pretty impressive. I feel like managing a laundry Matt at nineteen. Yeah, it's more impressive than you take classes. Yeah, to be honest with you, do your paychecks come in quarters?

No?

Okay, I think everybody was they don't.

I do.

I do love the quarters though. I love it when somebody brings about fifty dollars quarters and have to count a matter for what else?

Do you love, Gabriel? What lights your heart on fire? Where do we? I'm trying to like where we want to go with your life here? Because you don't like this laundry matt job, you're living in a New Jersey. You don't like what? Yeah?

What is what's twenty twenty three looking like?

For G? Money over here?

G money?

Shit?

Well?

I love, I love new experiences. I want well, I'm planning. I'm currently planning on traveling. I'm planning on just you know, because because it's my mindset right now is I'm young, Right, I'm young. I can do stupid ship, but I can't say ship right.

You can say whatever you want. Can't say you're young and beautiful. If you have to hang out, I could do for a young, wild and free you know tattooed on my cap yep? Do really?

Yeah?

I mean team, as long as you're staying in work and you have an income.

I don't think you.

I don't know, I don't know. I want to say you don't need college, but but college for me is where I just met.

I don't know.

I met a lot of cool people there, but I didn't use really into the skills from it. I studied film, but like they were like they were like, here's a giant ass like news reporter camera.

I'm like, is this I'm trying to make vines? Yeah? Do you what are you passionate about? G money? What you know? What are you passionate about?

What? Do you have a bigger picture that you think about sometimes?

Do you want to be an influence?

Cincinnati earlier, I I've not seen myself becoming an influencer at all. I think, lad, I see myself at a at a career, you know. I'd like to see myself at a career and like, let's talk long term, my ten years from now, I see myself at a job, you know. And I don't mind the whole, you know, repetitive stuff. I enjoy going to work.

I just sat my current job. But the thing is, as of right now, I'd like to do more. I'd like to take advantage of the fact that I'm nineteen. I'd like to because you know, I'm planning a trip to Ecuador, I'm trying planning a trip to Puerto Rico. I'm planning a trip to Canada. I'm planning a bunch of stuff, but I'd like to just go ahead and

You know.

Brother the bandaid off and tell them, yeah, you might have to.

They're they're gonna they're gonna know, yeah, you're December rolls around and it's finals time and and you're just at work. They might have a few cues question Jones.

Well, see see how they re acts.

Because your mom might be like, well, if you don't go to college, you got to get out of the house.

Then you'd be like, okay, well let me figure this out. But but if you come well, actually, I don't know.

You could come in with hot with a plan and be like I'm gonna manage this laundromat and then I'm also managed another one, and then you know, you you come in on some entrepreneurial shit.

You might impress her and she might be like, yeah, do what you want.

But I remember when I told my parents I was quitting my day job to pursue videos full time. It took me a couple It took me like months to like grow the courage to tell my parents, and by the time I did it, I had proven based on views and videos that I was capable of doing it,

Yeah.

I do think if you go, you might find yourself and you'd be like, dude, you know what the answers were right here. This is what I want to be in life. I want to travel or I want to you know, start a Harley Davidson dealer.

Man.

You could even travel all the way to Ecuador and be like, man, Ecuador is fine, but like I missed the laundry man, I missed the laundry man. You can discover that what you were looking for was right in front of you this entire time exactly. Yeah. Maybe, well, Gabriel Man Here's the thing is, I agree with Trevor. I think that you know you're not gonna be able to hide it for for too much longer. And the world,

Don't do hard. I think that's fair.

And that's coming from somebody who works at a laundromat. Ladies and gentlemen. That's J money, turn up, G money, Thank you so much, best of luck. What do you think I had a friend in college who stopped going and they just didn't tell their parents. You you really have about a semester until you have because if you're well when you live at home, it might even be less because because this guy lived away from home, but

I think the underlying problem is like caring a lot about what his mom thinks about his life. It's tricky when you live with them alone, if you have a loane like yeah, yeah, and you do live with them unfortunately.

You know, there are rules and there's cliches that parents and say, if you're under this roof, you gotta do.

But it's like kind of sucking. True. Just poke myself with a what are they with? Gecko? Hand? I feel there's a better.

Term glove glove, but uh, what are they?

Paul? Not a pot?

You know what?

I'm like, like, Okay, gecko. Uh, there's Celia. That's the name of the the little hairs on the but we don't there's no celia on this. How's your eye doing? It's a little watery? Okay? Do you need me to I don't know what I know. I'm alright, I'm good, I'm good. Good. Do to help you nothing, You're good. Let's talk to let's talk to Laney from Texas. You're okay with Texas? Texas? Yeah?

Texas is too big cut that place in her TWI how does North Dakota also have a South Dakota but Texas is one?

And answers for any of this answer.

Well, wait, sack, this calls on drugs.

Laney. You're on the line with two geckos and a bunch of people on the internet, and what's going on?

Oh not much.

This packing.

Landy says here that you are a nurse and that lately you have been having a lot of patients come in with what you describe as penile trauma, and that is kind of that. That penile trauma is like, yeah, distressing for you. Tell us about this.

It is so uh. The first time I put in like a like a catheter, you know, I didn't go well. The guys penis started bleeding like after after it was inserted.

And then you're not a lot of people go up that hole.

Yeah, I mean I hope not some days. But then yeah, like a couple of months later, this guy was rolling in his wheelchair and spilled his coffee, like steaming hot coffee all over his, uh, his penis and ended up having to go out to the burn unit. So that was pretty pretty rough. On a brighter note, I did just put in a Catherine with dude for the first time in a while, and everything went super swimmingly.

So let me ask you this, when you see a guy like you know, his penis starts bleeding or coffee gets pilled build his penis. Like when I think of that, like I get a little feeling in my like a like a you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you feel it? Do you like, do you feel a thing like that?

Uh?

Seeing as I don't have a penis, No, but I I I.

For them there you go? Yeah?

Yeah.

Have you ever put a cather Have you ever put a cather in and a man let out a slight moan?

No?

But like old dudes and in their in their wieners are pretty weird, you know, like they'll have you like hold it for him while they pee, even though they're like perfectly capable or like, I don't.

Know, they.

Hold it.

That's like, I mean, that's hilarious. That's like ordering one thing at a grocery store. Oh can you walk this out to my call? It's like he can pee?

That's crazy.

I mean you can't, like you can't tell him that he can't pee, because then that's what that's mm hmm.

Do you do you like just take like your your point of finger and your thumb.

Yeah, I would do it with like you know how they used to pick up trash on like recess right with a little like songs, salad.

Dressing tongue would do that?

Would I would have?

Yeah?

Yeah, I wouldn't go bare hand on a you know, an old Oscar Meyer.

Do they let you use tongs when you're when you're holding a guy's penis? Or do you have to use gloved hands? How do you hold it?

Yeah?

Gloved hands. The tongues are a really good idea.

You should ask your boss for tongs.

Yeah, that makes interesting in.

So, what are the patients like as people? Are they are?

They?

Are they making small talk with you while you're holding their genitals?

I mean like sometimes I try and make small talk just to like make it well less awkward for everyone involved. But sometimes it makes it a little more awkward somehow.

Yeah, I was about to say, I feel like small talk would make it worse.

Yeah, what do you what do you but it's so quiet in a bathroom?

What do you talk about? Well? All rights? What kind of things do you try to make small talk about when you're holding a guy's penis? White peas?

Do you make any jokes? Argue you must be cold in here?

No?

But you know, next time one of them is mean to me, I might whip that out. I'm just like, are you from here or I don't know the cash casual?

Any like I made any friends, anyone were like, actually might hang out with this guy outside.

Of this.

No, no, dolts, Nah, not yet, still waiting.

So listen, Lanny, I have to know, uh, you're you're hanging out with old guys. You're you know, helping them pee, You're watching them bleed out of their dicks. Why do you do it? What is the reason? What keeps you going? Lanny?

I asked myself that multiple times a shift, you know, money and helping people.

And not an office job, which is nice.

I guess, okay, that's I find that I am. I admire you, Lanny, that you're willing to do these things in the name of of helping these guys. I think that's very beautiful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I admire you for dressing up like a get go and talking to people.

Way easier than helping old m MP.

I do have a question, though, they say everything is bigger in Texas. Can you attest to.

This if we're referring to their penises? I would have to say, now.

Damn I'm going to start using the I've never seen anyone do that before. I've never liked the whole passing the mic to the caller to the audience. I've never I like that tech powerful.

Yeah, well that's also that's a good insult to have on somebody if they're being rude to you. Be like, oh, I guess things aren't bigger in Texas. That is.

I'll keep that one in my back pocket too before. Yeah, yeah, it has. You know, my poor boyfriend after the first couple of times that was a little hesitant to do anything for a while, but gotten over it.

Wait, so so this is, oh, because you were traumatized from.

Seeing these oh god, the yeah more interesting. So this seeing all these bloody dicks and old man penises, they this affected your personal sex life.

For a little bit.

Yeah, it kind of flashes back like some PTSD type stuff, Like I felt bad for I mean, I didn't cause it, just because there were you know, other health issues, but you know, like I felt guilty or responsible for it. So like I get nervous sometimes with my boyfriend. I don't want to do the same thing.

Mmm, it's only natural. You're only human, you know. Oh, you get nervous that you might accidentally cause your boyfriend's pianis to bleed, or.

Just like yeah, trauma. You know, Okay, I'm not seving anything up there, but.

Well you don't bring you don't use catheters in your personal sex life.

We haven't tried it now, not yet.

You got anniversary coming up, bust it out. Or if he ever wants a role play, be like I'll play nurse, you play doctor m.

Or you just said no, and then somebody can be in there and play old man.

True mm hmm did some not being the old man could.

Have its perks, could have its perks, Lanny. Well, listen, Lanny, you know we we appreciate you. I'm sure the old men appreciate you. Uh, because when i'm whatever, eighty years old, I'm gonna be I'm gonna need somebody to help me pee. Somebody's there.

Yeah, you're helping out the you're helping out the elders, and appreciate it.

Lane, Anything else do you want to say before we go?

Don't shove anything up your penis unless you are professionally trained.

People are really giving out great advice.

Yeah, you scare me. You're like unless you're professionally trained. I was like, oh, thank god, I can my degree.

Thanks for calling Landy Lane right. Well, motherfucking Wallace, you want to go jumps and stuff up our penises? Yeah, I think that's a great idea. I'm professionally trained. No, but now I'm going to I think you can find it on like IQ or something. You know there are I think it is. It's a healthy thing to experiment with different things, to see what really floats your boats. But I don't think I could give myself to shove the thing up my up my penis.

No, God, no, I sometimes I pee too long and that even confuses my penis that there might be going back in, and that scares me.

Trevor, thanks for coming on, man. Is there anything else that you want to say to the people? Tell us about?

All I want to say is thanks for watching this show. I know it's uh, I don't know, just thanks for tuning in checking her out? You want to plug your tour dates again? Anything else? I got a bunch of shows coming up live stand up. I also post sketches weekly on my Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter. I don't have Twitter anymore, but yeah, I got a big tour coming up.

But just thanks for listening to us tonight. Go see this. Man. I was telling that you were gone, but I was complimenting. I was saying, you know, I know that you're like primarily known, I feel like for the videos and whatnot, but I've seen you also do videos of you, you know, yourself doing stand up and you're really really fucking good at it. Banks Man, crowd work and and oh yeah.

To prove to the other comedians in the room that are like, ah, I know, I know, I'm I care about the craft.

I really do this, you know, so there is still that.

But yeah, you know, I started when I was seventeen and I've just been doing it for Jesus Christ a long time. But i love doing it and i love making videos and I'm filming tomorrow with some fun people love to get you in a video. Eventually, do it, Yeah, dude, I'll sends people over your way too. I know, I know Chad Chirdley's would for sure do this.

Beautiful, But yeah, Trevor Wallace, folks, thanks for tuning in. Goat bless you all.

Don't put anything in your peephole.

Ghosts on the line taking your phone calls every night. Dembin goes doing his eye he's teaching you to houses of your life, but he's not really an expert.