TIRES AND TIRED

All from Nick.

Hi is this Nick?

Hello?

Hey?

How you doing Nick?

Hey?

Man, I didn't expect to be on that's crazy.

I didn't expect anyone to ever call into this thing ever, So we are in the same kayak.

Oh wow, dude, first caller, This is a lot of pressure.

Hold on real quick. But why why is it a lot of press?

Tell me? Let's get into the pressure that you're feeling. Tell me more, what exactly do you feel pressured to do?

Well?

Well, I saw you on TikTok about a year ago and then I I just recently, like I'll put on your stream highlights in the car and on the way to work, and uh, I don't know, man, I just.

This is the first time calling in.

Okay, so you've been You've listened to the stream highlights on the podcast, But have you Is there anything in particular that maybe you wanted to talk about? It's fine if not, we can just be river people. But if there is somehow I'm happy to discuss.

Yeah.

Man, I actually have been thinking about this for a minute, Like if I ever called in, which is today, if I was to talk about anything, it'd be about my work, my work slash home life, M I feel like I put more into work than I do at home, which is I don't know if that's an issue or what.

You put more into work than you don't? First of all, real quick, sorry, I have to do this. Everyone in the chat. Can you all hear Nick?

This is what this happens.

I'll talk to someone for a long time, then I'll look at the chat and I'll be like, they can't hear anyone?

Okay, perfect, all right?

So you put to more work more uh uh more into your work than you do into your home life. What do you do for work?

I work at a tire shop. I'm a third in command at a tire shop, and I I love my job, and it's not that's not an issue. It's mostly I don't know. I don't feel like I'm putting as much work as i'd like to into my relationship.

M How your relationship? When you say your relationship, do you mean your relationships across the board or are we talking about a romantic relationship that you're involved.

With mostly romantic. I have a fiance and we own a house together, and we don't really I mean, you know, we work several hours and come home and just kind of chill out, but you know, we're just kind of there, you know, it's not really.

I don't know.

So she's working several hours as well.

Yeah, yeah, and it's mostly when I get home, she's not really there. But on our days off we do spend time together. But I'm not one there, you know, like I'm I'm I'm always thinking about something else. It's work related at least interesting.

You're not one hundred percent there, So you're hanging out with her, but you're not really there. Your mind is focused on something work related.

I understand that for sure.

Mmm mm hmmm.

When your mind, when you say you're not really there, when you're and you're thinking about stuff like give give me an example, like what do you like last time you were with her.

And your mind was somewhere else? What where was your mind exactly?

What? What?

What's like?

What specifically were you thinking about? You can get very specific if you want, Like you're like, oh, I saw I saw some god. On my drive home, I saw a guy with a flat tire and I should have made a U turn and tailed him until I was like, hey, you come to our tire shop. What was the thought that you know?

That's that's actually in my state. That's how you get stabbed. But she'll get she'll get upset at me because like I'll get home and I'll just like fucking research tires man, like on the website, Like what kind of technology do these tires have?

Man?

They're freak, They're very interesting.

Mmmm. Well see, you know this is this is a tough one because on one hand, I'm like, you know, it's such a rare thing to like your job that much, because this is a good thing, right because when you because you said to me, at least what I'm hearing from you is like I get home from my job working all day at tires, and I'm like, and you go home and you research tires like for fun.

I know, I know it sounds fucking nuts.

No, no, it's I know. I don't think it sounds much at all because what what what I didn't want to hear I thought you were gonna say it was like you're not there because you're like stressed about your job. You don't sound like you're stressed. You sound like you're actually very much enjoying what you're doing.

Yeah, one hunder.

Huh what do you find?

What do you find?

So interesting about tires.

Dude, like the tread patterns, Like I like really big tires, I like really small tires. Like you can see kind of how much work somebody somewhere has put into a tire by just looking at like the tread and uh and just like damn, like somebody put a lot.

Of work into that ship it, you know, m h And I find that fascinating.

Get what's your favorite tire company? Because automatically, if I ever have a tire related question, like, you're the You're the guy.

You really you're not like just doing this for a living. You care deeply about tires.

Yeah, Man, if I was to because I'm a big I love Yokohama because man, they they offer such a safe tire that's such a low cost compared to other tires. Man, So if you need a tire, I would go with Yokohama.

Mm hmm. So this is interesting to me because on one hand, you know, I feel like you're very lucky because it is it's a very.

Rare thing. I feel like to.

Genuinely enjoy what you're doing the way that I can tell that you do, but you're like obsessed with times I don't I don't know. I don't have I don't I don't have like a like advice for you or anything. But like, I think it's nice that your your mind is is on work, but in a good way, like

You know, So it's a good you have a good problem.

I understand that, but it it's if if and I'm seeing the chat, I know, I know how you are about like being one with the call, but I'm not. I don't work for Yokohama. That's just what.

I oh no, oh no, the chat you you don't know. I don't think you work for Yokohama at all. I think you are just a guy who is passionate about tires, giving his genuine opinion. I actually I know for a I just no, you are not someone I feel like you would rather die than give an opinion about a tire that is not true to how you believe.

I I believe that about.

You, dude. I fucking perish before a false opinion is given.

That's just not what is What does your wife do?

She works at a bath and body works, which is kind.

Of she as as as die hard interested in soaps as you are in tires.

Uh some yeah, I mean she's always coming home with like candles and ship and uh you know, it's great. The house smells wonderful all the time. But she's not as invested into it as I am with tires, you know what I mean? Mm hmm.

Now okay, So you told when you told me, you were like, what does this sound good? So when you told me that you're afraid your you're upset that you're not being present with hers. But is that coming from you or does any of that come from her?

Like?

What's her view on the Wait? Am I hold on? Craptis I'm disconnected? Am I back?

Yeah?

You're good?

Hold on?

Can you hear me?

I can tell you about that anyway.

You your wife? What does she think about all this?

I don't know. She just kind of gets frustrated because I'm always talking about work, I'm always talking about tires. I don't know, man, it's it's it's a tough one because I don't know what she's thinking. I know what she says, but I mean we do we do other things, man, We do like we go to like amusement parks and ship and we like going to uh you know, like

Of it all is uh tires. So yeah, man, well listen, what'd you say? My name was Nick? Nick.

I'm well Nick.

Look, I don't have any like concrete advice for you, except you know, the sort of platitudes that everyone would tell you about, you know, making dedicated time to not think about tires. But you know, I'll say my immediate thoughts is, consider self lucky. You have a thing that you actually enjoy doing that is your job. You know, not everyone can say that, So consider yourself lucky in that regard.

Mister get thank you so much for having me time. I'm pretty sure, like I'm ninety nine percent sure, I'm going to watch your stuff for the rest of my life.

Beautiful. Hey, if I'm ever in your town, I'm coming by the tire shop.

Where do you live?

Again?

What's your town?

It's it's actually in Virginia. Okay, I I hope you understand this. I'm not really comfortable with the exact location, but it's in the Richmond.

Oh for sure. For sure.

No, you'd get mobbed. Everyone here would be like, oh, this is my new tire guy. Now, well beautiful, I'll come to you next time I need tires.

Thank you, Nick. You have a good rest of the night.

I love you guy.

Nick.

Forever Baby goes on the line taking your phone calls every night, goes to teaching you.

Hello, Hey, hey, how are you GEK.

I'm doing good.

I'm streaming live on on spank bang dot com and I'm I'm having a good time.

Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Everyone always everyone always makes jokes at pornhub. But I feel like, like.

Does anyone actually go to pornhub to watch porn?

Okay, I'll be straight up right now and let you know I still use porn Hub.

Okay, So when you go to watch porn, you type you go to your fucking chrome and you type www dot pornhub dot com. That's where you start.

No, no, no, no, that's like way too much effort. I usually just do like you know, just pornhub in incognito and then.

I go to the sight that way you go on incognito mode.

Uh, yes, yes, I do.

Wow.

I remember I got to a certain age where I was like, I think I remember the sort of age bracket that I got to where I stopped clearing my history and I was just like, what who's looking? First of all, Second of all, what are they gonna? It's not illegal? What do I have to hide?

I don't know.

I have to hide myself, man, I don't want I don't want people knowing.

What I like.

What if somebody gets my phone or something?

I don't know.

I'm paranoid though, It's fair.

Jay, What's uh? What's going on? I'm a gecko, You're a void. I don't know what you are exactly, but you are a voice on the phone right now. What's uh?

And what's what's what's what's what's happening?

I'm say similar to how you're just get I'm just Jay.

I don't know.

Well, you said you told our call screen or something that you wanted to talk about. I forget what it was, but I knew it was.

Something Okay, So I have a sugar daddy and this happened very recently.

Mm hmm.

I really don't know even to start with it.

Yeah, so you said recently, So you are new to the the idea of having a sugar debt or the practice.

Yes, because I was not like openly searching or looking for one. This dude literally just slid in my DMS and offered to, like, you know, give me cash, and it's been going pretty great. He's not a psycho, he's actually not some dirty old man. He's like thirty three, he's pretty young, fairly young.

And was this your first ever offer to be someone's sugar baby?

Yes? I, like I said, I never really like went out posting on like, you know, websites looking for one like this dude literally just slid in my DMS and it's been working out surprisingly well.

Interesting And did you did you accept it? Did you start entering into this this relationship immediately or did you do you have any apprehensions beforehand?

I definitely had apprehensions, just because, like I'm a very self conscious person. So I like made it really clear, like this is what I don't want, this is what I'm cool with and I also like wanted to meet him in a public place a few times before. I was like, you know, comfortable with anything.

Okay, So how many times you met up with them?

I've only met him in person three times and it's been out for coffee another time for lunch.

Jay, do me do me a huge favorite? Can you take me off of speaker phone?

You're not on speaker phone?

Oh? What am I on? I feel like I'm on some.

Do you feel like you're on some?

No?

Like, am I on like your AirPods?

Or no?

You're just on my phone?

Oh?

Okay, maybe it's maybe I'm crazy. All right, So you met up with him for coffee?

Yeah, I met him up for coffee and then lunch and then coffee again.

Okay and all all.

So he just pays you?

How much is he paying you?

So right now it kind of just depends. He's been just throwing me cash and he put it out there, is that like if I do decide to have to chext with him, he will give me five thousand dollars up front, But as far as the coffee, meats and stuff, he gave me three hundred dollars one time, and then four hundred another time, and then the most recent coffee meat he didn't give me anything because I was just hungry and he was in the area.

So can I ask, And you don't have to tell me anything that you're not comfortable telling me, But are you are you considering going all the way for five thousand dollars? What are your thoughts?

What are you're like, what's your thought process behind that?

You know, I really am thinking about it because this dude, once again, he is very clearly like not a crazy person. He's also married and has a kid, Like I feel like I know a lot about his life that could ruin his life, but like, I would never do that to someone, So I am very highly considering it. And then he also told me upfront, like if I gave him a blowjob in the hotel room, it would.

Be five hundred bucks.

Hmmm.

So I trust this dude, is what I guess I'm.

Trying to say.

See, I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, well, I don't know, I don't, I don't. I feel like, because I'm a guy, I don't have his good intuition for these kind of things. But part of me feels like going to a hotel with a straight like, you know, I don't know if it feels unsafe.

I definitely okay.

Also, no offense to this dude. But he's shorter than me, and he's also really skinny. I used to fight mma, so like I could definitely kick his ass. Okay, So I feel very safe in that department.

Hmmm, did you say did you say he was People in the chatter saying don't do what? He's married? Did you don't?

You didn't say he was married?

Did you no?

He he is married and his wife knows.

His wife knows, Yes, how do you know his wife knows?

We had a conversation about it, because I mean, I'm also engaged and my partner knows that I'm doing it, and she's really.

Cool with it so far.

And then he was like open and he's like, yeah, I'm married, I have a kid, blah blah blah, and he's like she knows about it.

And I was like, oh, all right, I dude, so you're okay. So both of you are in committed long term relationships and both of your partners know and are okay with it.

Yeah.

Interesting, Just so, so your partner did did you say did you say, uh, it's your partners, is she.

Yes?

So is so your partner? Have you guys always been like open or is this like a new thing?

We We never have had an open relationship. I was literally just trying to like make some side cash by posting my news online, and like my partner knew about that. But then that's when like the sugar daddy's flitting into the DM.

So you floated with your partner the idea of having sex with this guy, and she's cool with it?

Yes, hm hmm.

I'm looking at her right now. She's literally watching the stream. I can't.

I don't know my only person I ever with this, And I guess this is sort of a thing you would have with any guy, whether or not he's paying you money. Is like, you know, are are you at risk of going into some situation where where you'll get like fucking trafficked or something.

I was like, and once again, I genuinely do feel like pretty safe. This dude is like clearly just like somewhat like he told me straight up, his wife isn't into like sex at all. She's asexual. He like is a very sexual person. He's like, I'm just like trying to get off and I was like cool dude, like that's his whole thing. He has a very normal life and that's all he wants. He's very boring if anything.

Mm so what do you think are you thinking of you're gonna do it.

For the five thousand?

I don't know, but I'll think he's a for five in the buck?

Now would you? Hmmm mm hmmm, So now would your would your girlfriend want to come with?

I don't I.

Don't think she would want to come with.

She's shaking her head.

No, I obviously cat.

Catch doctor.

Do you want to talk to her?

Yeah?

I would love to.

Okay, I'm passing a rustle though.

Hi yet, Hey, what's up?

Nothing much? I was gonna play some DODA and then I can't say got on the call wait list, so I.

Passed with you?

Am I am? I I'm sorry if I'm taking away from your Dota time.

No, no, no, no, I'm this is this is exciting.

So what do you what do you?

What are your thoughts on this situation? What's your name?

By the way, I'm Netlieu. You know money is money, So I'm I'm comfortable in our relationships. We've been for like six years. We've met in high school. So I know, you know, we're good. So money is money.

I don't really care.

As long as the the sugar daddy is clean, and he is he's clean, so I don't care.

M Well, I mean, I don't know. I guess this sounds like a done deal. Then, Yeah, what what do you do, Natalie?

What's your what's your situation?

I go to school for computer science and I work at a cafe.

Beautiful, beautiful, sounds like sounds like you guys got a good life going on.

Before.

Yeah, that was that was easy. Crap with your girlfriend's name again, Jay, Jay? Yes, let me talk to Jay one more time.

Yeah, of course.

Hey, geg, what's up Jay? Well listen, Jay, I wish you good luck and whatever you choose to do. And God bless you, God bless you.

Gek.

I just real quick, real quick, I have one more question.

Sorry, hit me, hit me in the face.

You should.

It's not a question, I guess it's more of a statement.

I agree with chat.

It's pay in my face around.

I'm hanging out.

No, no, no, no, no, it's not about the face. It's not about the face. Bean bag. You should get a bean bag.

Ah a being bag.

I would have if I got a bean bag, Chat, I would have to make it like really expensive.

Well, because okay, Chat.

Was talking about like while I was waiting on hold of all the money.

That you would make, would would have to then go to me.

You have to buy that chair.

That's fine.

How much does it cost to make a custom bean bag chair?

You know, I don't know, I don't I don't make custom bean bag chairs.

One hundred dollars?

How do you know that?

One hundred bucks?

Apparently?

Okay, I'll look into that. I'll look into that.

Thank you for the suggestion, Jay, Yeah, you're welcome so much.

Beautiful have aggressed to that. Thank you for going.

God bless geck Asher, Hey, gek.

What is going on baby?

Nothing much. I'm just a lot of stress recently.

Why are you stressed out? Asher?

So to preference this? I am a trance guy and it's just a lot yep and it's just been a lot of like stuff relating to my work. I still get clupchy, even though like my voice is deep now I present his masculine and it's still just like I do everything I'm told to sit in that box.

And what do you actually when you say when you hold on really quick just now, because I don't want you to gloss over it, because I'm kind of curious what you mean when you.

Say you said.

You do everything you can to fit in the box you're supposed to. What does that mean?

So you know how people are supposed to see masculine, you know, you're supposed to be yeah, strong, and.

You're sure you know so you so, so you try to act more masculine in an attempt to get people to see you as a quote, real man. Yes, and it sucks, okay, because I was gonna say, if you don't whose, I was gonna ask, like, do you do you do you feel inherently masculine or is that a thing that you only do to, like, you know, for for the sake of other people.

I feel like I do it for the sake of other people most of the time, because it's just like I have to say, like, my dad's a football coach, so like I grew up around like super masculine dudes. So it's all this machowness that I've been trying to emilate, and it's just I'm not like that. Like I like to draw, you know, pink is a cute color. And you know, like I dress not like if I'm not in my work clothes, I dress a little more feminine than what would you considered more.

Where do you work?

I work at an organic grocery store.

Do you like?

Do you like working there?

It pays well, so like that's why I'm there? What?

Okay? So in your daily life, in your circles, be they family circles, work circles, friends circles, what circles that are present in your day life do you feel the most like like disrespected and uncomfortable?

Then definitely my family circle because.

Family, Sorry, it's a tough one.

Yeah, Like my parents like if I try to talk about it through like really hush hush about it, like they don't want anything to do with it.

Mm hmm.

And then oh, don't even think about I don't even think about talking it to my extended family because oh lord, they're old Trump supporters.

And move.

Do you do you live with your parents?

Yes?

I still do, but I'm talking about moving out and going living with my boyfriend down in Houston.

Okay, rock and roll. Okay, that's cool because that's why I was gonna say, is like I know it's it's tough, you know. Not everyone has like the the you know is fortunate enough to be able to like live with their parents and like, you know, save up money and all that shit, so you know, if you can. It sounds like it would be you know, you're employed, sounds like it would be for the best of your mental health to to live with your boyfriend down in Houston.

Yes, I would have to get a new job, and hopefully by the time I'm done with community college, I'll be able to get a better paying drop than when I have right now.

Mm hmmmm, Well, you know, look Asher, uh uh, you probably don't need me to tell you this, but uh you know, look, it's it's not up to anyone else to define who you are as as as I feel like, you know, you know, and you know, have you.

This place where you live? Where have you lived there your entire life?

Yes, I moved to I lived at one side of the town and now I live at the other side of down with my parents, so I haven't moved much.

Okay, Well, don't let don't let whatever.

Like.

The the the vibe is of that small town, and like, don't don't let that form your like grander idea of how people will.

Respond to you in general. Does that make sense? Because like, yeah, does that make because I feel like if.

You grew up in a small town where everyone is like sort of you know, thinks in a similar way and like is responding to you in a similar way, you you think, oh, everyone like you know, and I'm not saying this is you know how you're feeling, but I only you feel like everyone everywhere will never accept me every because, like you said, you're you're working with a very small sample size.

Yeah, yes, yeah, hopefully soon too. Like if I move to a more basically blue area of Texas, then my I'm safer. But at the same time, I'm moving to a city which I'm just not comfortable with because like everything would be in walking distance?

Is that not good?

And no, it's good, but it's different for me. I'm not used to that, like convenience.

Sorry for laughing, but why why is why are you making you're making convenient? Why is convenience bad? I've never heard someone talk about everything being in not walking distance. I've never heard someone present that as a as a negative thing.

It's just weird to me because I have the driver or to get stuff and the idea of.

Sucking and you want to be able to get fucking pizza down the street and not have to get in your part of it every time you want to, you know, do your laundry or whatever.

It sounds amazing like, but it's just my brain just can't wrap around that. How like easy it is.

I think, uh, I think you're gonna have I think you're gonna have fun. Ashure, I think it'll be cool. I think, uh uh, you know, it sounds like it sounds like it'll be good for you to get into a new environment. How old are about it?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. I am twenty two.

Okay, word, did you uh do you have like a grant? You said you're going to community college and you're getting a new gig. Do you have like a like a grand thing that you want to do.

I want to go into film by the same time. You know, I draw as well, so I can see that as like I take emissions and stuff like that on the side, so I could see that being like a part time job. And then I go work out a TV station for my full time job or something like that, and that sounds like the ideal dream for me.

Damn, you know, I'm in Look. I think it's good that, uh, you're you're putting.

Yourself out there. You know, you could have just stayed in your in your small town. You could have suppressed who you were to make other people happy. But you didn't do it, Asher, And I'm proud. I'm proud of you for that. That's pretty that's pretty cool. Keep keep sucking, rocking and rolling. Uh. I think I think that facing these uncomfortable things will work out for you in the in.

The long run, definitely.

Mm hmmm.

Here's another thing that I that I'll that I'll tell you because I believe in this. I've talked to I've had I've had a few people call in here with a similar with similar problems as you I've taken. I've talked to people about this before, and I like to say that, like, uh, you know, I feel like when you when you're growing up in that small town environment, everyone will convince you that like you know, for example, you were talking about how you you know, uh, you

Your ship for that.

And I feel like if you if you have if you go up with that small town mentality, people will convince you that certain things about you are like are weaknesses, but but they're actually but they're actually but and maybe like it causes you to think about them as a weaknesses because like they they cause you experience, like that stress that you're talking about what they're but they're but

Does that make sense. Yeah, definitely, alright, cool, don't forget about that.

I want to ever beautiful. Thank you for calling Asher, Good luck to you.

Thank you, and you have a great night.

Hello, Hello, how are you?

I had I had a nightmare story. I wanted to tell you. I'm gonna lay in my bed and just close my eyes. It kind of follows along perfectly with that conversation you had with that guy about kids destroying things.

Oh yes, yes, yes, hey, an important podcast. I have adolescence.

In my opinion.

Yeah, and definitely. I mean and I wasn't a very destructive kid, but late if I destroyed something, it was it was on a big, bigger scale, you know what I mean. So I guess we'll just start start from the.

Beginning, right sure, sure, hit me all right.

So go back like which, by the way, I'm like twenty three right now, So go back like twelve years ago. My school did is like camping trip sing and there was our school is pretty small, so like a single class was like you know, forty kids, twenty boys, twenty girls.

Kids did you say pooped in this toilet?

I would say somewhere between twenty eight to thirty five.

You don't have to say, you know, I have to say, I think that this shows a strong leadership initiative on your part because it takes a lot of effort to mobilize and coordinate thirty people to achieve one common goal.

Yeah, I would really say that, like we really traded like abandoned brothers.

Especially how old were you guys? Again?

Approximately, I don't remember, but like a twelve thirteen easily.

I mean, you know, it's hard to I mean especially you know, children have very you know, short attention spans, you know, and and they're very fickle.

It's hard to like, you know, mobilize that many people.

No, there was definitely like a singular purpose and you know, I feel like we achieved something, but like I did have like I was really paranoid like after it happened, because I thought I was gonna get in trouble, and honestly, I like I should have, you know, but like it's one of those things where everybody is responsible, so you know you can't do yeah, but they didn't know that, And what.

Sort of rhetoric did you use to convince people towards your cause?

It was just kind of like I wasn't like manipulating people. It was more just like, hey, just to go ahead and use like wouldn't be funny? It would be funny, you know. I was just like, wouldn't it be funny? And they all agreed, so just kind of happened, and then I didn't really I wasn't really directing people afterwards. I just kind of like went back to bed and then everybody was like all right, yeah, yeah, if you just have to use bath and just go ahead and do it, and that was it.

Really.

But like I I talked to a plumber friend, you know, when I got older, and told him about the story, and he was like basically said that like because of the location it was in that like it really it could have like stopped up all the pipes and it was easily like twelve to fifteen thousand dollars of damage, like labor to clean it up.

Basically, that's very persuasive.

But yeah, but you know that I held up my conscious.

So you just told him that it would be funny.

Yeah. Yeah, they thought it was funny too. I mean, I like, I've lost contact with a lot of those kids, but like the ones I'm still in contact with, like we still kind of bring it up and laugh about it. And funny enough, one of those kids, I went on a road trip with him. I'm from like how he I'm from Indiana. But we did a road trip out to San Diego and we met some people while we were down there, and we went to go play basketball.

With them at night, and.

I went to this public restroom and you know, I wasn't trying to, but I clogged the toilet toilet as well, and you know, really it was just because the toilet was really like really like a weak toilet.

I guess.

But my friend went in there after me. Yeah, my friend went to the bathroom after me, and he also took a dump on top of my tomb. And then you know, we were playing basketball and he's like, guys show up to play basketball. One of them was like, oh, I have to take a dump. And then me and my friend just kind of looked at each other like shook my head like, yeah, don't know, don't tell him.

You are the father of the compound dump. Yeah, So do you feel like you took any leadership skills away from this?

Do you feel like, hold on, I don't feel like I'm a leader.

So do you feel like you any leadership skills from this experience?

No?

No, I don't. I disagree.

I've been very persuasive people. It sounds like are compelled to follow.

You, you know.

I mean, you could do some good if you really wanted to.

Mm hmm.

I mean if I had asked you to take a dump on my dump, would you do it?

I think I would thank you that you, you know, would want to do for good.

For this with the skill.

Yeah, but the story doesn't The story doesn't have a good end. It doesn't have a good end, like there's this there's just judgment and karma waiting for me at the end of the right.

But no, but no, but no, but no, No, you're taling. You're looking at the story itself. I'm looking at the under what the story tells me about you and the people involved. You know, that's that's that's what's what's what's really important here. So yeah, I hope you do find a good use for these, for these leadership skills.

I'll try to. I'll try to. You know, I'm in school be a male nurse, so you know, that's that's kind of a males in the nursing field tend to go into leadership roles, so you know, maybe I'll maybe I'll make up for my my past transgressions. But I mean, honestly activist or a politician, you know, I really feel like the issue is our toilets in society. I feel

I thought, which I thought, which story? Way? Which? Which story? I feel like you began telling to a different story. Which story are we hearing? The end of.

Just the trilogy? Man, I told you about what happened when I was camping twelve years old, what happened not too long ago in San Diego, and then what happened last week is what I need to tell you about.

Sure, let's let's let's hear it quick.

Before everyone throws it up.

All right, So.

I host the Smash Brothers tournament in Indiana and it's at this pizza place and I didn't know this was going on, but the same thing happened to the one bathroom that this restaurant has of the people at my Smash tournament, and the owner made me clean it up, like fix it, And honestly, it really took a lot of weight off my shoulders after I did that, Like I felt like I had fixed my sins essentially.

Mm hmm.

All right, So the story did end good?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not the same.

What's your name.

Steve, Steve Jim use your leadership skills for good. I believe in you. I believe in your future, and uh, I hope that you no longer serve evil, and I hope you have a good rest.

Of the night.

All from it's little Mike, little Mike.

What's going on?

Is there a big Mike, big Mike?

I like to think there is, But I don't want to think that I'm the product of big Mike necessarily.

What does that mean?

I like to think that I'm my own individual as a little Mike, no product of another.

You'd like to think that you are your own? Well, okay, you know, well when people are little, they're not necessarily little in relation to anything, like like Lowayne. Lowayne is not lou Wayne relative to a bigger Wayne, or even a medium or even a regular sized Wayne. He simply is in and of himself Lowayne. So I don't think that you being little Mike necessarily has to be your little mic relative to a medium's or big sized mic.

Does that make sense?

That does make sense?

And I actually I appreciate that.

Yeah, you know, how'd you get to bed to become little Mic?

Uh, there's not too much of a story behind it. It just kind of came about through talking with friends. Definitely college days throwback. But uh, besides that, there's not too much meaning behind it. It was just kind of more or less. The fact that it was meaningless made it meaningful. I don't know how they explain it. Kind of it's hardly explain.

What are you doing right now, little Mike? How did you find yourself to this humble, little Gecko stream.

I've been seeing mad clips of you on YouTube and been sitting back and I was enjoying some beers and I really enjoy watching your stream, so I thought i'd call in. I did not think I would get in. So I'm kind of rattled right now, to be honestly honest, but uh, I love chopping.

It up with you.

I like chopping up with you. You said you're rattled right now. Describe this rattleness? What is it? What does it? What does it feel like to be rattled?

Yeah, I'm bad ass, Like, this is what it feels like to be a living right now.

I'm seriously, I'm like, my heart's beating right now. I'm a little shaky sitting here. I'm like, I'm humbled to be on the stream right now. I'm actually like, I'm glad I don't feel this feeling toot you know what I mean. It feels good to get excited, beautiful.

I have so many things to say about what you just said. First of all, I'm I'm I'm humbled that you fucking watched this thing. Second of all, this is so such an interesting thing what you just said, because I try to think about this myself, and I've talked about this on stream before. Your body's experiencing some you know, like a visceral reaction, visceral reaction, visceral anxiety, your heart's beating, all that stuff, and and and you have such a

You know what I mean, You're.

Like doing that.

That's how I was literally just thinking this because at first, like I was like, like I was saying quote unquote rattled, and I didn't really know what to say. But I was just like I got to work through this and keep chopping it up and kind of just live in the moment right now. And that's definitely that feeling that feeling special, and I think I think you catch on.

I feel like you're feeling it.

Yeah, man, I sometimes when I get anxious for things, I'm well, there's ANXI. Whether there's like a general anxiety, which sucks because that's the one where you're like, well, you can't pin it to anything that's not fun, that's more in your head stuff. But this, but the nervousness, were like you can pin it to something it's very bodily or and all that shit. It's like, oh, it's it's cool because like something's going on. Your body is reacting.

It is, And little shit like this makes it worth It makes it worth while.

M lot, Mike, Mike oh Man, little Mike man Is.

Mike.

Is there anything like in.

Particular that you wanted to talk about this evening?

Not in particular, I think I think more in life in general. I love when you kind of just talk about life and the abs and flows of life, and I kind of almost think we just already achieved that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's an interesting thing. It's funny you say that you you like when I talk about life and the ebbs and flows of life, because I, you know, I feel like a fraud sometimes I feel like I'm I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking.

About, but I you know, it makes me happy.

It makes me genuinely happy that uh, whatever I fucking ramble, Uh, I hope his his fucking resonated in some.

Way shape.

No, totally, it totally does.

No, I'd usually appreciate you, and I listen to you a lot of times going out of work, and I I work with uh, work with kids, do a little work in schools and stuff. So it's always like it's it's good to hear other people's perspectives, even it doesn't matter like how you think that person sounds. It's always someone else's perspective and you've got to take that into consideration.

I don't know.

The show's the show's honestly, it's cool. Shit, I appreciate.

You, beautiful, thank you man.

It's you work with kids.

Yeah, before we go, little Mike, before we go, what do the kids need to know? If there's one thing that the kids? How old? How old?

Kids?

How old?

I work primarilyly with like ninth graders or eighth graders.

Okay, it's an interesting age. What so like thirteen fourteen? Mm hm, what do you what for for your fourteen year old kid? What do you what do you need to know?

Low Mike?

You know right now? I think the message is specific to the times, and I think it's a message of you know, being that hard ass when you go in every day, or trying to act cool or putting in that shell or acting jaded like that's cool up to an extent, but in the long run, it's not going

And year olds definitely.

Need to hear that because they are extremely mean mm hmm.

And sometimes, you know, you can see the hurt going like from classmate to classmates sometimes and that just tears me up inside because try to build that community of connect but if you got that one little negative wore attacks it's hard to overcome, but not impossible, but just it makes it a little more difficult, you.

Know, Mike, keep spreading the good message. I feel like kids need to know this. I you know, I could go I could fucking rant about this for hours, but like, I don't know. Sometimes I go on TikTok and I

So I'm glad that someone someone's saying it.

So I'm saying it's it's a cheap it's a cheap way to get some laughs. And the short you might feel good about yourself, but I mean, it really won't and it's not gonna pay off in the long run, does no one good? Yeah, pick pick your other friend up. So yeah, I'll leave it at that. You too, You too?

God, bless guy, ghak, bless you a thousand years, little Mike.

Thank you.

Paul from Kay.

May, Oh, Hey, what's what pleasant surprise?

What are you? What are you doing with your life? Kat May? I said, what are you doing with your life?

May?

What am I doing with my life?

I don't know.

I'm just why it happened.

I'm to flow. I'm in nursing school right now. I started when the pandemic happened. So it's been like an interesting journey thus far.

I got a little bit of white claw on my laptop track pad. Oh so I'm wiping it off.

Thanks?

What did you say?

Just now again?

No, I I'm a nursing student, but I'm just going with the flu.

Dude.

It's been like a long journey.

Like I actually, I don't know.

I don't want to know.

I don't have any expectations right now. I'm just when it happen as it comes far kind of do.

What happened?

What happened to you today?

May I've been listening to your podcast like all night, and I I like this. I'm I like that, you you know, get online talk to people, listening to their stories. I kind of like doing that too. The problem is, like I'm not that person in real life. I tend to do that online. So recently I've been going on Tinder and just talking to people.

You've been going on Tinder and talking.

To Yeah, it's.

It just fulfils my need to interact with people. That's it.

What is?

What does your husband think about that?

When I told him about it, he had like this knee jerk reaction and it was kind of angersh But I understand because like, okay, well, people go on tender for hookups and whatnot kind of deal. But whenever that situation comes up, I just tend to ignore it or just deflect him, or I just give them my intentions. I tell them like, hey, I don't only hear for a conversation. If you have any sexual needs that you need to be met, I'm not the person to do that.

Interesting, Well, so do I mean, do they like these these people that you're talking to? And do you? And I'm curious, do you said it to speak with with only men, or with men and or with people across the gender spectrum just guys? And do do How how do they typically respond when you tell them that you're married?

Oh, well, it goes to waves.

You know, they'll they'll understand what you call it.

They're fine with what I'm seeking out. For those who potentially look up for a hookup or a relationship, they stop talking to me and like they unmatched me, which I'm perfectly fine with because it's like, well, you know, you can find someone else. You know. I'm not bothered by it.

Mmm.

And so your husband, you know, he he he ultimately is is okay with this. He doesn't see it as like well, because I assume, look, even if you're having conversations I assume like if the guy you're talking to doesn't know he I feel like like on Tinder, like it's the context is like would it be like a flirty conversation or what I mean, what are you even talking to these guys about?

Like what do we talk about?

Yeah? Tell me tell me the best who is? What's the best conversation you had on Tinder?

Was it?

I asked him, dude, how many like first grea years could he take on?

Like how many.

Are I've asked.

I've asked guys like you know, uh, how often they yet asked their height is? Or I even asked them like, hey, what's your experiences like on tender kind of deal. I kind of set up my bio to have like different questions or like different thoughts I've had, and I've had people match with me and be like yeah, I agree with that and we talk about it for a little.

Bit and yeah, interesting people in the chatter are suggesting you try bumble bff you think that.

I tried that.

I've I know the concept is that the women goes up to the guys and like they talk kind of deal a little, but I don't know what the experience is like.

Well they have like a friend feature, a parent you can like just mat like you're just meeting friends.

Oh so let me ask you.

So Okay, so these conversations you're just having all those people on the internet, are you, like, are you feeling lonely?

Like do you want to have more like friends?

Like, like, would it be a wonderful thing for you if you like start, you know, had more like in person interaction with like friends or is this just like something you're doing just to like fuck around and pass time.

I'm not necessarily looking for friends in general, Like I've come to realize that, you know, I'm not good at keeping up relationships, like even talking to people. Is it enough to like my or to deplete my energy?

I just.

I don't know. I'm not looking for anything deep, It's yeah, it's just a past time basically.

Well, look, if you want to, you know, do you steal my idea for a stream? Which is it my idea at all? I'm just talking to people on the phone and they've been doing that for ten years?

Do that you know?

Ten years?

I know I said ten years.

I feel like you've done this like.

Back, like I've kind of looked at your stuff on YouTube, and I've seen like your little clips about like pass branklet blah blah blah.

I don't know, Oh you went on a deep dive.

Yeah, yeah, I do that all the time.

Like, yeah, it's weird.

Like anyone that I have an interest in, like I see their work, I try to like go back and see what I can find on the internet to kind of just track, you know, what inspired them or whatnot's trying to do.

So yeah, well, I feel like we have a wonderful parasocial relationship going. Yeah, and you know, I'm I'm excited for for the future.

I am too. I don't know what's out there, but I'm excited.

Beautiful. Good luck to you, may thank you for.

Calling in, Thank you for your time. Call from Miko.

Miko, Hi, how are you doing?

Miko?

Wait?

I got on?

Yeah? What did you tell me about hold on real quick before don't let it pass? What was your brain space just now when you said hi, Oh.

My gosh, wait, I didn't know there is a delay on your twitch stream. I was watching, I was listening, and then when I usually like, I didn't even know i'd get this far. I was just so used to saying like hearing the like the what is it? Oh, like you've reached the therey Gecko blah blah blahi.

How are you, Miko?

I'm good? How are you?

I I'm good as well. Have you ever heard a code? Miko?

What is that? It's like she's a twitch streamer of person. She has the same name as you. Its where I heard Miko before.

Oh, Miko isn't my full name, it's my nickname.

I wanted to do.

What does Miko mean? Does Miko?

Is that like a?

Is there a? Is there a word for that? Or what does it mean something?

I don't think so.

Well anyway, Miko, Miko.

It sounds like you've tried to call a lot, and I'm curious if there's anything in particular that you wanted to talk about.

No, I just wanted to try calling you because I've been listening to you for like, I think a few weeks now. I found you on Spotify and I was like, this is such a cool concept, and so this is the first time for like first what would you call this like stream? I mean, I've been watching you before, but this is the first time I've been trying to call and in a weird way. This is kind of like gambling.

I remind.

Well, okay, well I've never actually been gambling. I just turned twenty one, so I haven't been able to try a spot machine yet. But I was like calling and like I'd pressed the call button and then it would hang up immediately, and that's like the most common, like the most common result. And then there's also a part where if you call, then it'll get to kind of like oh, then it gets to your voicemail, which is little less common, but it's definitely among the more common.

Hear my conversation. You know, it's a weird. It's like a weird uh position for me to be in because uh, I actually feel like when I'm doing when I'm just like do it like day to days, you know, doing a stream whatever, I feel really calm, like I'm feeling like.

I don't know, I feel like at ease.

So I don't so I guess, like maybe there's some sort of psychological mirroring effect or whatever the fun going on, Like I assume that whoever I'm talking to on the phone feels chill.

As well, but then they you know.

But then, but it's funny you say that because I've called in to other people's streams and like, and not even without even a lot of people watching or anything, I've called that. I and then on my heart starts to race, which is weird because I'm like, it's the mind.

The logic of the mind is not ever computed.

Why the central nervous system of the body. So good luck trying to you know, think yourself down from anything.

But anyway, Oh, I was going to get to that.

It's like in this whole gambling analogy, like getting to you, like getting to talk to you is like I don't know how slot machines, like is it when you get three in a row.

Or something like that, and like you win.

The jackpot and you get super excited, Like that's what it feels like.

So I feel like, you know.

Having all this I guess not anxiety, but like expectation, like you put in so much effort and naturally I feel like you would get you would expect to get a result out of it, but then because the chances are so low, you feel like it's not gonna happen. But then when it does happen, you get super excited and your heart starts racing, and like your breath starts or like my breath is starting to get shaky, and I think that's from your sympathetic nervous system. I don't know, I don't remember you.

You know, all science and anatomy and health and that's all made up by humans.

So you know, God just calls it stuff.

What would you call it?

I would call it poopy peepee uh vain stuff.

Have you ever gambled before? Have you gambled in a real You say you just turned twenty one? You so you just turned twenty one? Was it your birthday like a week ago or something or right?

I guess my birthday was back in August, but I was in school. I was in summer school, and then there is this whole like COVID thing, so I couldn't really go out and travel. But I'm planning hopefully, if things start to get a little better, I'll take a trip to Vegas and I'll try the penny plot receives. That's what I'm most excited for.

Real quick. I gotta give a quick shout. We got a raid from I like to shout out the raids Prolatopia. Yes, thank you for the raid. Check out Prolatopia. I don't know what they do, but they got a cool name, Prolatopia. It's fun to say Prolatopia. What's the most money that you would theoretically throw down on a game of cards?

Oh boy.

I like to think I'm pretty conservative with how I spend my money. I try not to buy a bunch of really ridiculous things, but I think I do it anyways. So I feel like I would plan to put aside like maybe one hundred dollars. I don't know I have. I'm pretty young, so I don't have a big concept of money just yet. So to me, like twenty dollars

Well, let's see, I mean, you could win big with three hundred dollars. I don't know.

I don't know. I've never been gambling. I'm not a gambling guy. I don't even like investing, like stocks and stuff. I'm like, I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to lose my money. I like money. I want to keep it. I don't want to lose it. It's bad.

I feel like the stock market is also pretty like illogical, Like there's no like, there's no logic, and there's no way of predicting how that this block market.

Would do well. You know what I always say is that if you're dumb and don't understand anything, like me, everything is illogical. And when everything's logical, you just start up your hands and you go, all right, I'll just die.

You know.

Do you think it's nice to live life that way?

Yeah? I think it's nice to live life that way.

But I think that reminds me of some episode. I don't know what TV show it was from, but it was like this one couple was going to like a buffet and they got really irritated with the new like smart soda dispensers. But then this other couple came in and they like they forgot how to use it, so every time they went and they were always so fascinated by the smart soda dispenser, And then like, I guess they're supposed to be a dumb couple, so every time

Don't know where you understand things, or where you don't understand things and so everything amazes you.

Yeah, I think it's better to be amazed than to be numb to the wonders of life.

But do you think there's a medium where you can understand everything and appreciate everything?

Oh?

Yeah, I think so too. I think you can understand things and still appreciate them for sure. For sure, understanding is a lot harder you could appre That's the problem is that understanding is.

Way harder than appreciating.

You can appreciate, and it's super easy to appreciate stuff. You can appreciate anything with really little efforts, but understanding stuff a lot harder.

Do you think you need to learn to appreciate No.

For example, I appreciate that the technology exists for me to live stream myself to the world and talk to you on the phone, and I would probably uh my brain would explode if I even tried to begin to understand how it all works.

That is an interesting way to think about it, Miko.

I I want to I want to take one more call before we do this whole.

Whole thing.

But uh, before we go, though, before we go, is there anything else that you wanted to talk about?

Wait?

Can I tell you a joke?

Yes? Please?

I forgot that we were doing that. Thanks for reminding me.

Ok, I'm setting anatomy right now. And this joke is something that my professor told us. Why didn't the skeleton want to go skydiving? Why because he didn't have the guts?

Huh.

I don't want to go skydiving ever.

I feel I have no search for for for ari, for thrills, via peril, you.

Know what I mean?

Mm hmmm, I have no I I I do not seek peril in my life. But but congratulations that skeleton for figuring out what works for him. Well, Mikah, I am a gecko and you are a person, and uh, this is a pleasure talking to you. Thank you very much for calling a super nice.

Geg I'm so excited I got on.

I love your stream, I love everything that you do, and I'm gonna buy one of your shirts for my Christmas presents.

Www dot therapy Gecko dot com. Everybody, We're coming out with a new one, a pocket tea. I don't know feel like pocket teas.

But oh I do.

Is it gonna be the one where if you like slightly open the pocket, there's gonna be an image?

No, no, no, the image could be on the front of the pocket. I think, I don't know. I might, I might.

I might look at them and be like, oh I can't afford pocket eas but who knows. Thank you, but I'll shut up my march. But thank you for calling Miko, and uh have a good rest of the night. Jack bless you for a thousand years.

Paul from eve.

Eva Yvette.

Ivet.

Yes, like why eve It starts with a hy right?

Uh?

Yes, that's cool. I know motherfucker's named Yvette and it's probably top ten hardest names to pronounce.

Oh no, trust me as a as a teacher, I've seen just about any like in every variation of every single name possible.

So you're teacher, Yeah, what is your greatest lesson?

My greatest lesson that was on the curriculum or off the curriculum.

Your greatest lesson event, I.

Guess it was teaching seventh graders about the two thousand and eight housing crisis.

The two thousand and eight housing crisis.

Yeah, so you know, the whole economy going downhill and all that stuff, just as they were learning about simple interests.

What do you teach math? You teach math?

Mm hmm.

We have two teachers and we have your We had a math teacher on and we had an art teacher on.

Oh I know, I love art teachers. They're so cool.

Did you hear? Do you were?

You?

Were you here for the call with the art teacher part of it?

I got like the second half of it.

What do you think do you think schools should have more money or do you spend more money on helicopters?

You know what if we can have the helicopters at school, that solve both of them at the same time.

Damn you want a math helicopter.

I mean I don't need a math helicopter, but I can definitely teach about the math stuff with the helicopter.

How give me a detailed explanation of how you would teach math using a helicopter.

Well, it depends what great am I teaching?

Okay, do you teach?

I'm in middle school.

You're in middle school.

Everyone's working with the kids on this on the stream tonight. Did you hear the guy who was giving out the words of wisdom to the to the middle schoolers? What did you think of that?

I don't that was that The one who was was that Mike, right, guess little Mike? Yeah, yeah, no, he was spot on it. He was spot on it.

All right.

So you hang out with thirteen year olds all day.

More like eleven and twelve year.

Olds, and tell me about the tell me about the youth of twenty twenty one. Are we what direction do you feel like we're heading in? How are the children different from when you were a kid.

Oh my god, they're so quick witted like you, Like people who are teachers now have got like a whole different like skill set that they better catch on to or else. Like, these kids will just have no mercy on you, but in a great way.

Interesting.

Tell me about Give me an example of a interaction you had where a kid you know, surprised you with their wit.

I mean, just just like Okay, So there was this one time where, like I think had I had to finish passing out papers and one kid, you know, just decides to start crumbling at it out of nowhere, and then like the little kid that was next to him just turns around. It's like, yo, that like paper is now like way more wrinkled than your grandma. And like

Yeah, you're right, because you know, nothing feels worse than when like a kid is bullying you and then the teacher and you see the teacher and the teacher's kind of also laughing.

At you as well.

Yeah.

Not that I love my kids, they're great, but I mean I think it'd be great to also be able to give them a holicopter.

Do I feel like they would use the helicopter to bullieve each other more?

I think they, I mean, knowing mine, I think they would first a be like what did you do? To get a helicopter and then be like, somehow managed to break it.

What did you say your name was?

Again, you'vet youvet before we go, before we continue, before we move on. You're the last caller of the evening. Oh god, we have a tiny bit of time. If is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, or anything that you wanted to leave us with, anything at all floating around and that big massy brain of yours, you.

Know what, Yes, sure, please, I do not need like therapy, Get go, I need besty, get go right now, because I can't tell right now if I am crushing on this person or I'm just really fixated on the fact that someone's giving me attention.

Interesting, who are they?

They're essentially friend of a friend that lives like several states away.

Well you know, look you're hanging well they live they live several states away.

Mm hmm.

But it's been most like yeah, yeah, exactly, And and I know those don't intend to pan out well and logical brain knows that. But at the same time, you know, attention is nice. And so now I'm like, wait, is it just because of the attention or is there something actually there? But yeah, the brain chemicals are not work, are not cooperating on how we need figure this out, and there's no math equation to solve this.

Okay, I wish I had more time, we shul had more time to go in depth with you about this.

But I do feel like, and again this is just U.

I could be completely wrong, but I do kind of feel like if the notion is even occurring to you that you only like this person because they're giving you attention. You know, look, you Vet, you seem like you seem like a great gal, you seem like you got your life together. I'm sure you'll find plenty of other sources of attention in your possibly in your in a more immediate vicinity, if that is what you are looking for, if that is what you desire.

I agree, I agree, I think you're right.

So don't look at this with a with a scar The whole thing of of of oh, this guy's giving me attention, but you know, so I'm focused on him, but it's it's a scarce. The mindset. It comes from this idea of you know, oh, no one ever gives me attention, and then here we go, this is a guy who give me attention.

Of a latch on that.

That's a scarcity mindset. You'vett there's you gotta think, you gotta understand, there's there's there's lots of people out there who will give you attention. You know, you can't just fixate on the on the the the one just for all. I mean that. It would be another thing if you were telling me how much you were in love with him and you never met anyone like him before, all that stuff. But if the main thing is attention, it's like, you know, look, there's it's you gotta think abundantly.

VET.

Yes, you know what. You're right, You're right, gotck go.

Beautiful, javette Thank you very much for steering the children of America in the correct direction. Again. I will tell you what I told the art teacher. If I could snap my fingers and you have a helicopter, I would do so. But I hope you the helicopter one day. And thank you very much for calling into my Gecko show and tell the children that I said to not vape.

Well do well do beautiful?

How can hello?

Hello?

Hi?

Is this uh speed Jim Steve Jim?

Yeah, it is Steve Jim.

How are you Steve Jim, how's it going good? Just clipping my toenails right now?

You said you're dipping your toenails?

No clipping? Ah here, let me go outside and see that. You can hear me better?

No, I can hear you said, you know what, there's too much focus on hearing and oh can you hear?

Oh?

Can you hear this?

Oh?

Can you hear me?

Oh?

What what was it?

What did you say?

Sorry?

I can't hear you that, you know, Let's just focus on We don't have to hear each other.

We just have to feel each other. Does that make sense?

I feel that you are like to fa in my digital presence. That's all that matters to me.

Yeah, that's real good. Yeah that sounds good.

So what's going on with you Tonight's Speed Jim?

Uh, not much, just getting ready to go to bed. I thought i'd try to call you. I've been trying to do.

It for a couple of weeks.

Actually got through.

I've been trying to I've been trying to talk to you to speed Jim. Speed Jim, is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about?

What was that?

Hello, Speed Jim?

Is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about.

Oh yeah, I was gonna ask do you think it's normal to still sleep with your exes?

Is this an interesting question? When you say normal? What do you mean by that?

Uh?

Like, is that something like a lot of people do? Or is it's just kind of like weird to do?

Does it matter to you if it's something that a lot of people do.

I guess not.

No, Okay, clearly something about it is causing some sort of mental conflict for you.

Yeah, like uh, kind of like worrying if they'd get feelings back for you and you end up like hurting them or something like that.

M well, what are you are you sleeping with on your exes?

Uh?

Yeah, and you are primarily concerned that they will garner feels for you again and that you might end up hurting their feelings.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Have you talked to them about this?

Have I talked about this?

Yeah?

No, I haven't.

Is have you not talked about this because you're avoiding or because you didn't think to talk to them about this?

I guess I haven't really thought about it that much until basically, I guess tonight when they're asking, like, what kind of question I wanted to ask well.

I feel like.

And you know, I'm trying to do this too in my own relationships, be they any any any sort of relationship doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, but you know, transparency is it's always key. So you know, I feel like, if you're sleeping with a parson and yet you're you, you want them to.

Have an accurate idea of how you feel about the situation.

So that they have all the information that they need to inform their own decisions as well.

Does that make sense right?

If you tell this girl you're like, hey, listen, you know, I'm having a good time with you, you know, like like I like you.

You know, you can say that.

Just but you know, look, I'm not for whatever reason like you know, but I'm not trying to get back into a real thing, you know, I just want to I just want to let you know that so that you know, there's no hard, hard feelings. You know, just just wanted to let you know that, you know, and then that and then from there, you know, except to her whether or not she wants to, you know, keep seeing you. But at least now it's it's it's been discussed, it's out on the open you know, and then I'm like,

No, I'd be able to ask for I could probably ask for right now.

Hell yeah, is she with you?

No?

So we talk like on Facebook and stuff.

So that sounds nice. Well, good luck to you, speedy, Jim. Is there anything else you want to talk about before we go?

Yeah, so the other week you're talking about a simulation, and I wanted to know if you think there's another simulation out there where humans was talking to Geckos.

I think I've I've made a decision not to care about simulations anymore, or whether or not life is a simulation or if life is real or anything, because it's just it's not gonna help me to think about, you know, I can't possibly take in the information of all the possible universes that could theoretically exist. So I've made the intentional decision to just focus on this universe.

That I'm living in right now, and.

With a greater aspiration to live in this moment that I'm living in right now, and you know, I hope we'll get there one day.

Okay, that's good.

Well, thank you for calling Speedy Jim. I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah, thank you.

But hello, Hi? Who is this?

Thank God?

Lyle? Hi, who is this?

Tell me everything?

This is Carl. How are you doing today?

Uh?

I'm doing Oh, I'm doing alright. I am uh feeling pretty pretty good. How are you, Carl?

I'm not gonna lie. I'm low key like shaking, mister gek.

Mmm, why are you shaking? Carl?

I have called you like eight hundred times.

M hm m hm, And this is the this is the eight hundredth.

Time, probably somewhere around there. I lost track last stream it was four hundred and sixty seven.

Wow.

Wow, Carl. It sounds like you have something that you that you desperately need to tell me.

Yes, Lyle, please, okay, please, So you changed my life?

Tell me, may.

So.

About a year ago, I took about four and a half grams of mushrooms. Okay, sure, And I'm surfing through the interwebs twitch and I come across this green gecko staring at me. Crazy ass background going on, so I decided to click on you. You were talking about riding trains with no destination and everyone takes life too seriously. Lyle, my shit like reversed my brain right then and there.

So you heard me talking about how everyone is riding trains and taking life too seriously, and you said it changed your life. And so am I to believe that you are calling me from a train right now?

Life is a trade.

Sure, we're all on a train. Sure, Carl, I have a question for you. Yes, are you high on mushrooms right now?

Well?

You know what?

Yes?

Okay, And so the mushroom trip. I've never personally done psychedelics, but I do know that a lot of people when they do do psychedelics, they go into it with a objective of some kind.

Is that correct?

Yeah?

Okay, what is.

The objective that you are going into this trip with?

That's deep, mister gik Oh God, Well, I don't know you need you you're here. I didn't even think i'd get this far.

Well, forget about me. I feel like this trip has something to do with me, unless if you know it, unless if it did, unless if you your dream for your mushroom trip was to.

Be think about it.

The first time, I was like I saw you, I was on mushrooms, and now I'm talking to you and I'm still on them.

Sure, sure, hopefully there was time in between then that you were not on mushrooms. A couple of days, a single day, A couple of days, you said, are you saying are you joking?

Or do you do mushrooms every day?

Well?

You micro dose them, tiny tiny mount Okay, and it just it. You know, you don't go on a full balls to the wall trip, but it just makes your mood a little bit more happier for the day.

Okay.

And are you micro doosed on shrooms right now? Or are you on a full dose?

Oh no, we're We're on like three point five.

Okay, so that's a full I don't know, I've never done mushrooms. Oh yeah, okay, so you're on a full dose. I mean, look, let me ask what, Carl, what do you How old are you?

I'm eighteen?

You're right?

Gee?

You're extremely young. So you I mean when you said a year ago so you were on mushrooms, you were seventeen years old. You heard me say something about being on a train and now, yeah, what are you looking for?

Carl?

I feel like you're doing all these drugs and whatnot, and like, is there a goal in mind? Or you seeking a truth of some kind? What's you're You're a young guy. What's going on with you?

And the age has nothing to do with psychedelics. It's about maturity if you're open to it.

Sure, sure, But I'm forgett about the psychedelics here. I'm asking you as just a regular laired boy.

Oh well, that's the deep question, mister Gek. I don't even know how to answer that.

Mm hmmm. Well what do you do? Are you in school? Do you are you in college? What's your what's your thing? No?

I work on cars. I do body work for cars.

Okay, cool? Cool?

Mmm?

You don't do you don't do?

You don't like?

No?

Tell me sure please?

So you probably wouldn't never guessed this. But I'm Mormon, right, LD is born and raised. Maybe that's why I do so many psychedelics.

Mm hmm.

You think you think you think your psychedelic use is because of your your Mormonism.

Yeah, I want to what's up there?

Man?

Don't you up there? When you say up there? What do you were you referring to? When you say there?

It's probably not up there, just in the realm of all the souls and spirits combined in the wont.

Ah man.

You know, I am Oh, I'm so tempted to give you advice, but I you know, I like giving you know, letting everyone.

Do their own things.

I am fully open to game.

Okay, you're fully if you're fully only if you're fully open to it, because I don't like giving people.

If you're open to it, I have a thought for you.

I don't know if it'll work for you.

And I'm not an authority on anything, but.

Carl, look, you're eighteen years old. You're very young, and I understand that you have this desire to seek these whatever spiritual truths and and whatnot, and and I I believe that you know you should if that's what you want to do. But if you're telling me that every single day of the past year you've been microdosing on shrooms, I feel like you got to give yourself the opportunity to spend some significant time grounded in reality. You know,

How about you? And you go not much? And then.

You know, I live a boring life in boring, shitty reality for a little bit of time. And then take, you know, take the information that you've gained there, and then take that back to your special place on the step ladder where you observe and think. But if you're always observing and thinking, you're not actually living and experiencing in this shit that you're always observing and thinking about.

How do you feel about what I just said to you?

I am flatter gasted. I don't even know what to say, mister gig.

Take some time think about it.

But I'm scared of that reality, mister.

That's why you gotta live in there. That's the thing is if it's especially if you're scared. Why are you scared of that reality?

Carl?

I don't know. I just life is mean?

Life is mean? Why is Why does life mean?

Carl?

I don't know. I just feel like, you know, sometimes life throws you that curveball every once in a while that just smacks you in the nuts.

Hmmm, Carl, let me ask your question. Do you have a real therapist?

I had one?

Okay?

Why'd you get rid of them?

They just kept trying to prescribe me medicine and stuff. But it wasn't like it was like stimulants and stuff. I don't think, you know, I don't want to take myths.

Okay, well you're taking Well, here's the thing, is your doctor, Okay, let me let me ask you something, let me let me let me tell you so. And by the way, I get it, because you know, everyone has their own ideas on you know, whatever they wanted to take and put into their body. But whatever, you sound like you're self medicating with mushrooms, right. But then this medical professional that you're seeing is like, Okay, I went to school and got my stupid license that you need to do

Yeah, I saw that, but like it was also a Mormon therapist, so like you'd like throw a book of Mormon at me, you know what I mean? Sure, sure, sure, m I mean there's multiple layers to this.

I'm sure there are. I'm sure there That's why I don't pretend to know anything, but.

You know, you know everything.

That's I don't know if.

That's true, but Carl, I would just tell you, man, like take take take some time to live in in reality. I know that it it sucks and you're escaping from it, but that's kind of why you should learn to live in it for a little bit. That's your that's your little thing to conquer here, you know, try to live in reality for a little bit. Give it a week. Say I'm gonna live in the in the boring, shitty world for a week. Actually take back what I just said. I don't think of it as boring and shitty. Just

I assuel you beautiful Carl Man.

Thank you for thank you for calling, and uh feel free to call back in and let us know how this went.

If you try it, which I hope you do.

Oh, I would love to. This is not the last time you've heard of Carl.

Good. Good, Thank you for calling Carl. You have a good rest of the night, Carl, Carl, Carl. I hope he's okay.

This is Mariah can fine? Yes, now I can hear you. Fine. How are you doing, Mariah?

Okay?

So you know I'm doing pretty good. I'm yeah, I'm enjoying being a gecko. It's another day in the life. It's nice, you know, it's always nice. I've learned to have something to do. That's what I'm I'm happy that I'm doing this right now because it's just you ever not have anything to do, you'll just go insane.

Yeah, it's good to have something to do.

It's it's it can't be put into words, but it makes you feel really isolated if you don't put yourself into some kind of good habit.

Mm hmm.

Do you do you have any good habits that you've been habiting lately?

Absolutely not?

Mm hmm.

Well, how do you feel in this moment?

Uh?

In this moment? H Yeah, it's been a very long month, well, a couple of months. A lot has happened in so little time, so I'm kind of all bundled up into the ball of everything. Yes, that makes sense.

Mm hmm.

What what has happened in this month?

Mm hmm. I got damned by my brother and his girlfriend.

I you said, you.

Said you got you said you got scammed.

Yeah, he sold me a car that he knew wasn't paid off and I came back to North Carolina and the car got repoked just for me to be told that it wasn't paid off.

Mm hmm.

Yeah, how did you react? Did you confront your brother about this?

I'm saying, how did you react? Did you did you confront your brother about this?

Oh? I was pissed. I was very upset. But you know.

What is what is your relationship like with your brother?

Awful? I well was my immediate family as far as my mom's side, I have like a brother, two brothers, and sister and those were the only ones that actually had a relationship. But even then it wasn't the best. Like me, we talked, we laughed, but we never really shared anything with each other. Mine our own business, be our own people.

Mm hmm. And what about.

The other side of the family, said, your your it sounds like, are your parents uh split up?

Yeah, my dad was kind of a thought and he had, like.

I thought.

Thoughts. What does thought mean? By the way, thoughts?

Okay, my understanding of a thought is that it's uh, it stands for that hoe over there?

Right there?

You go?

You got it right?

That's such a I don't know that's a corner? How does that even catch on? Like, I mean, I'm getting on a tangent here, but.

You're good, I and understand it at first. Either it's I guess it's a generational slang thing like they come up with so much new ship that it doesn't even make sense now, Like you know they call hot dogs glizzies.

I have seen that. What is that even?

How did that even come about?

Exactly?

Doesn't it sound homophobic to people who are homophobic?

Is is glzzy a homophobic word?

Yeah?

Is it? I've never heard of that. I don't know.

This sounds like it's like, I mean, a weird person would say it, But it sounds like somebody would just be like, hey, we're getting a glizzy up backpack in the closet. Let's do it tonight.

You know what it's it's it's these trends. They're compelled by just people with absolute confidence, right, because you need a lot of confidence to get something trending. Because here's how. Here's the very first conversation that you have when you try to get something going. You say to someone, what do you just say? You said, get the glizzy out of my backpack? So let's say I said to my friend, you know, hey, you want to go get a glizzy

That's that makes sense? What I just said?

Right?

Like nothing, although nothing actually makes sense. Anything that does make sense is just one person or one group of people really confidently convincing you that it does.

Like, Hey, what are you talking about? I know what I'm saying, but whatever you're talking about is just you know, you don't even sound right, dude, I know that.

Well, sorry for going on a tangent. Okay, so you're yes bad as a thought?

Yeah. He The reason why him and my mom split up is because my little brother, it's only a couple months younger than me, he decided to go and have six with somebody else while my mom was at least seven months prement with me, I think. And they're awful people, I mean, on everyone of their own person. People did that ship sometime, but they just don't see the wrong in it. They say everything is supposed to be handed to them as adults, as adults.

I just turned up your I realized your audio was down for but we're better, okay. M hmmm, so mm hmm Mariah, yeah, Riah, all right, So your brother scammed you unto this car deal. That's now I'm kind of curious. I'm kind of curious with the brother. You say you had a horrible relationship with him. Did you always have a horrible relationship with him or was that or is

Yeah, you could see that I clearly had a whole lot of trust in him to buy a car from him. And mind you, I bought this car without having the title in my hands. So that's a big fucking leap, a really big leaps. Heus my language on me because so much. But yeah, he explained to me, like, okay, little the car's paid off. She says she's gonna go get the title from North Carolina for you.

Ball Okay.

Months past, like two months, and this girl is still in my face looking at me not traveling to North Carolina to get down title.

And it got so.

Bad down there that we had to leave. I was pregnant for the whole trip, pretty much. We was up there for my whole pregnancy. And I gave them the benefit of the doubt to try to help change some things around the house because oh my god, don't get me started. The house was just in horrible condition.

And well, hold on, so, how how how long ago was was all this?

All of this conspired? Like we we came down here in August. Yeah, about two months ago.

Oh are you still pregnant or did you have the child?

Oh?

Yeah, I had the baby. That's why we moved.

Kid.

No, this is this would be my second and I had him early because of stress that was related to my brothers.

How are things going with the second child?

Great? Great? I was. I felt so fucking relieve when I found out that his jaundice was gone. He was born premature, like a couple, you know, he was born a month early, and he was so tiny. He was like shit. Help They said he was only like four pounds. And we were in the hospital for four days. And right after we got out, we started packing our things and I left like two days after I got out of the hospital.

Mhm.

Its been a wild and I just got into a fight with my mom's boyfriend, so we had to tase I sound was a little bit faster, but we finally got a home. I guess all that nonsense kind of plaid off, and it's only but it also to our part, my relationship.

It's no wild ride.

Well what did you say?

Aname?

Was Mariah?

O my time?

Mariah Maria, is there anything else that you want to talk about?

Before before we had out.

Of here, M I actually did have a question for you.

Hit me.

Do you.

Do you enjoy being a ghetto or your own person?

Do I enjoy being a gecko or a person?

Who would you prefer to be?

You mean in in in what particular context.

To go about your daily test, eating, sleeping, making good pop?

Oh?

Absolutely, I prefer to Yeah. I think it's nice to.

You know, I think that wearing a giant green gacko costume, you know, it has its place.

Uh.

You know, wearing a giant green gecko costume has had its benefits for me in my life. There are certain places in which I think it's is better that I am I am wearing it, and then certain places in which I would probably be an impediment to my life to be wearing a giant green gecko costume, such as sleeping and eating and going to the grocery store, although I don't necessarily know because I really haven't tried going to the grocery store as a giant green gecko. Uh,

Thank you. I appreciate the conversation.

Of course, of course, thank you for calling.

Mara.

Have a good rest of the night.

You have a nice night.

Someone said I look like a salamander. I don't even know where that is. I don't even know what a salamander is. People tell me I look like a salamander. You don't even know what a salamander is.

Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

He was teaching