TIM HEIDECKER GIVES ADVICE AS A GECKO

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, I wanted to let you know that tickets are on sale now for Therapy Gecko live in over forty cities across the United States, Europe, and Canada, and you can get them at therapy geckotour dot com before they sell out. These shows will involve bringing folks from the audience up on stage to talk to a Gecko about whatever they want,

What's been the most persistent thought on my mind lately? How I don't have that?

Well, you don't have a consistent you don't have like a rering pattern A.

Few I'm trying to be honest with you.

Yeah, I don't.

It's uh, it would be what am I? What am I not doing to?

Uh?

What could I be doing better? What don't? What am I doing? What aren't I doing enough? How can I make? How can I grow what I'm doing? I guess I guess that. That is usually like the and then there's certain projects where we do the on Cinema Oscar special every year and that's about a month out from happening a little more little more than a month. So most of my nights before I go to bed are thinking about that, stressing about that, because it's an incredibly uh complicated,

Uh?

Should I get up and make a couple of quick notes.

But at this point, when you've done so many projects and you're you've gone through those stressful times so many times, does it does it get.

Easier or no, it only gets harder.

How does it get harder?

Well, there's some things about that get easier because you learn about what works and what doesn't work, and you develop patterns and relationships that you can trust.

But you you.

You some you know, you burned through the what I think is maybe a limited reservoir of creativity. Sure that and and and the world changes. You've done a lot of things are the things that you now can't do because you've done them already. So your struggle is how to maintain something that started very small, that might have started very organically, very inspirationally, from nothing, and then you got to, uh, this is now you know your life, so you want it to continue and be great and

What's compelling you to still do stuff? Is it? Do you like was there at one point where it was because you had something to prove? Or is it is it always just been just because you like it?

Well, it's generally a lot of fun, and it's generally a lot of it's a good use of time and the people. It's always it's almost everything I do is fairly collaborative, so there's always a partner involved. There's other people involved that I enjoy being with, enjoy and you know, I don't have hobbies. I don't collect, you know, I don't. I don't do things that I don't know how else i'd spend my time.

Would you consider music a hobby?

No, I don't consider it a hobby.

Uh.

It's another outlet for my creativity.

Okay, what would you consider you don't have any hobbies? Uh?

No.

I generally lie inert in my bed and then work. And then you know, I have two young kids. Yeah, so I spend a lot of time with them obviously, play games and take them to various things and do activities with them. So uh, that consumes a lot of my time. And then I'll like watch TV at night or watch a movie or something.

If you died tomorrow, would you be would you be like we did it? Or would you be like, nah, we had more things we didn't get.

To Oh, completely unsatisfied.

Completely unsatisfyleately Yeah, uh.

No, I mean I'm there's certain certainly a tremendous amount of things that I've done and made and that I'm very proud of. So I take that back. I would be there's certain things I'm very proud of. But I always think that I you know, I think everybody thinks they should be appreciated more than than they are. Do you feel by more people?

Do you not? Do you not feel? Isn't that crazy? You could be appreciated by so many people and still not feel well.

You know they're not They're not honoring me at the Mark Twain Prize.

There.

I haven't gotten any I've never won an award.

What a ward would you most want to win?

Oscar would be great, Oscar for Best Actor?

But I but no, Somebody email the Oscars. Listen.

I'm very I'm very happy. Uh, I'm not gonna I'm trying not to complain, but you're asking me very pointed questions that I appreciate.

Do you think I'm trying to get you to complain?

No, but you're I'm trying to be honest too, And I don't want to just I don't want to, you know, act like the celebrity on a on the Jimmy Fallon Show and tell you how how great everything is, because it's that's not I want to be as open and forthright with you as I possibly can.

I appreciate that we're starting. We are, we live. I'm just ninety percent sure we're alive.

But I do tend to I did this live stream for on Cinema the other night, a Q and a thing, and they're like, because it's still fun. And I sort of wrestled with this idea of fun and what fun is because I don't really and the truth is, yes, it is fun, but it's also it's not just fun.

It's there's work.

And there's pain involved and there's a struggle. So yeah, I think it's it's it's it should be.

Uh.

I hope it's helpful to know that, Like even if there's a perception that that you know, everything is light and and fund it. Yeah, for everybody, there's there can be a you know challenge there.

Do you have things outside of work that give you pain? Uh?

My back hurts, right, tell me about a very specific upper back thing going on where it's it only affects me when I on drive, when I drive, and uh so you know I do this a lot.

God damn, it doesn't really help. Like that kind of made my back start to hurt a little bit by doing that. By doing that, we have different.

Well I've hurt my back badly in a couple of different ways that are so stupid and embarrassing, Like by picking up you know, picking up a piece of luggage, like right as I'd gone on this big trip everywhere and doing all sorts of physical things, and then at the last step and the last step up up to my house, I went like this with my suitcase and it just it went.

It's kind of scary to think that you can develop. There's so much bad things that can happen to you just by going normally through your day. You don't even have to be yeah.

You know, and I feel this past few years feel like, you know, I'm turning forty seven on.

Friday, Happy birthday.

Yeah you, thank you, and I'm I'm I'm you know, I'm starting to like contend with mortality and my body kind of you know, shutting down on me eventually. And you know, it's these are new You're a young boy, so you're not You're not going to face these anytime soon. These these fears and these thoughts.

I'm trying to keep them in mind, Like I know that I'm not going to live forever.

And that is stunning. It's a stunning thing to start to contemplate as you get older, Like there's it's the inevitability of it.

Are you afraid at all?

Uh.

Yeah, I've made a whole album called Fear of Death. Okay, I think it's it's a terrifying proposition to me be dead, to be dead, but it's like, you know what, not to be dead, but to die. That moment that is coming. It's coming, and it could be slow and painful. It could be quick. It could be pushed out of a I get pushed in front of a dump truck. That might be better. But that moment is in the future for you and me and everybody watching.

I read something that resonated with me a lot. It was it said something like, uh, some philosophy to gladly pay the taxes of life, and so to die a slow, painful death is a tax on the joy that you have that you got to live at all. You know.

Well, that's that's a nice way of thinking of it. I feel guilt for my that my children will have to deal with that situation my wife if if I outlive her, which I hope I which I hope she does.

You hope you die first, or she does first, she dies as soon as possible. Good. No, I'm just kidding.

No.

Yeah, so, uh, but the being dead, I don't care about that. Because it'll like, there's a great line about you. There's a great line I think Roger Ebert said, yeah, which is, uh, I have no memory, I had no issues, uh before I was.

Born and now he's dead. Yeah.

And I'm assuming it's a very similar situation.

Very similar situation. Well do you not are you religious? Set all? Do you know I was born?

I always say, uh, I was born and raised Catholics, So of course I'm an agnostic.

Okay, do you would you if you could, uh somehow drink a potion or trick yourself something into like that gives you the belief, would you do that? Or do you like you're where you're at your.

Belief I just don't think it's I just don't think it's I think it's irrelevant to I don't see uh, I don't see what good it'll do you unless you truly believe that there's this eternal damnation awaiting you if you don't behave by certain rules that seem arbitrary a lot of the time. So I guess I'll take my chances at that not being true. It doesn't seem likely.

It doesn't seem very like, but a lot more people than not believe it.

I don't know that's true.

There's there's God. There's more people that believe in God, just globally than not.

I don't know, but I don't know. That could be true. But they might not have given it a lot of thought.

But there's something to I'm like, there's something to that. There's something.

Sit down. Probably, I would say, if you brought in one hundred people one by one, give me ten minutes with each of them.

Afterlife.

The odds are not great.

How would you know?

That's why I don't call myself an atheist. That's obnoxious, you know, I don't know.

I don't know.

It doesn't matter to me. Would they I can't be thinking about that stuff.

Do you think they would leave that room with after you tell them that there is no afterlife? And you would they leave that room sadder or happy?

I think they should walk away with a serenity that this is one thing I could take out of my life thinking about.

Okay, how's being a father? Is that tough?

Oh it's great? Yeah? No, I I the older they get the first few years or a lot of work and there's not a lot of return, you know. I mean, the babies are cute, and there's a lot of some babies are My kids were very cute, they're very good, but they don't you know, you can't hang out with them.

You can kind of hang out with a baby. I mean, if you're when you're hanging out with the grown man, you sometimes it's just you guys sitting together watching TV, and you can do that with a baby.

That's true. But they don't give much back. They give they give nothing back.

You ever talk to someone who is not a great conversationalist, it's kind of similar.

Yeah, there's a lot of people I could name right now, but no I but now they're like seven and nine and they are sorry, six and nine, and you know, you can start you can start talking to thought stuff they have. Yeah, the opinion that my daughter, who's the older one, she's it's like hanging out with a like a friend of mine a lot of the time. So

Good night, and they're off in their own Yeah, we do not. I do not.

I can't hang anymore.

What do they do? Are they? Is it books? Is it? Do they have an iPad? What are they doing when they're not with you? Either you they have.

They're on the iPad? They play roadblocks, okay, which was a great thing during the pandemic because they were able to socialize with their friends and and they watch movies and TV and read a lot. They read a lot of books. My daughter's a voracious reader. She reads at the breakfast table in the morning. And so they seem pretty well rounded.

Are you optimist, like, are you optimistic about the future or are you what do you arrange on that the optimism pessimism spectrum.

Uh, doesn't look great.

Doesn't look great.

It doesn't look great for now. I mean, I don't know. You can look. I'm listening to the great Dan Carlin history podcast, the hardcore History.

It's called Terrific.

It's not about that very long form.

Sounds like a porn hardcore history.

Well, he's talking to almost in this one about the fall of the Roman Empire and the rise of the the Vikings and the barbarians, you know, and you know, every civilization's collapse and people persist. Yeah, so it do you do look around, you go like, this is you know, like Lax. Today here in La power went out. I don't know that the whole airport lights went out, electricity went out for like an hour. It's not a good

But during the time when the power is out in Lax, there's still way more places in the world where the power is on. Absolutely pretty good. Yes, well it's pretty good. You know.

That's interesting you bring that up because I'm driving over here and it was a long drive, yes, and it was traffic, and you look at the traffic and sometimes at you know, four o'clock, you look at the traffic and you think this isn't working. You know, this is broken. Everything's broken. But then you have another I had another thought, which was like, what's kind of amazing. There's all these people on the road and no one's driving into each other.

Out of water.

Yeah, but they've been saying that for a long time, so you know, I don't know. I expect bad things. I always expect bad things to happen, but always expect. You have to be you have to be ready. Do you believe I was in New York on nine to eleven? You didn't think I knew that was coming?

Do you? You always expect bad No?

I think it's just the reality. If you look at history, there that that that that you know through history, there's just there's there's been a but we're doing you.

Were talking about the barbarians and that we're doing way better than those. You take a ship and it goes to a magical place that you don't even know where it is. They had plumbing back then.

Ours is probably better, though, absolutely there are there are, there are, of course. I don't want to go back to the I'm not I'm not saying I want to go back to live during the time of the Dark Ages, which is not appropriate term, by the way, I learned.

You don't call you the dark dark Ages? Why did? Why is that not? Well?

Because it discounts a lot of positivity, positive things that were happening during that time.

Okay, I guess, yeah, okay, it wasn't all bad, just like now. Yeah, So I'm not sure what the question do I am I positive about the Are you positive? Aout the feet? It sounds what you said that you always look at waiting for bad things to happen. So I was like, you're not, No, but I don't. It doesn't consume me, you know, I don't. I don't.

I still, you know, live my life and hope for the best and try to do things and try to you know, and have fun. But I'm just being honest. You can't look at you can't just have a rosy rose colored glasses perspective on the world.

Is this so this is why would you this philosophy? Philosophy? Are you like? Do you want your kids to be like as cautious as you are?

They should be pragmatic and skeptical of the world around them. And my dad taught me that a little healthy dose of skeptics.

Kind of like a expect the worst, hope for the best.

Absolutely, that's a great way to look.

I think, hey, do you want to take a phone call? We have to. That's why I came in.

I should also say, before I know this is a. I know this is a the therapy therapy, therapy show, therapy show. I am a scientologist, and we don't believe in in psychology psychiatry. We find that that's not helpful.

People are calling in specifically desiring advice from you through a scientology lens. Yeah, it works out very well.

This is a pretty good you know. This is where sometimes ideas come from, and the audience now can be the witness to a new one, which is I'm going to self identify as a scientologist.

Do you want to take one the is serious?

Yeah or whatever, I don't, don't ask me, just bring him, bring him our way. I'll take it all.

Hello. Hello Adrian, Hi Adrian, you're on the phone with Lyle and Tim? Or what's going on?

Baby?

How can we get you a name?

I I'm just gonna say that I love you so much, mister Tim. I've heard that you're a comedian and a very cool I love comedy. But I just wanted to talk about family stuff.

I guess.

What kind of family stuff you call and talk about, Adrian.

I don't feel I might be wrong, but I don't feel like my family loves me as a son. They just love me when they need stuff from me. I constantly feel like I'm a slave, that they don't appreciate the things I do for them, and whenever I try to bring it up to them that they make me feel a certain way, that they just treat me like I'm a disrespectful guy. I don't want to say kids because I'm like twenty, But.

Can I do you have a good circle of friends?

I do.

I have a decent circle of friends. I'm trying to go through college with some of them. I have an amazing girlfriend that helps me through this.

Guess what, But that's your family. That's your family's family. Yeah. I mean, if you want to bring if you have something else to say. But I find this a lot, a lot that you can only expect so much of your blood relatives. Sometimes it's going to be. It has to be, nat, you have to be. It has to be. It's not always gonna work. Yeah, And just because they're your family doesn't mean that it has to work. It'd

Mm hmmmm.

But that's my two cents. Please continue.

Well, yeah, I mean it's it's tough, right because I've talked to people about this stuff on here before. It's very tough when there's an issue like this that's so like, you know, sad, a person struggling with like stuff going on with their family. But there's only you. If you can't force somebody to give you something in a relationship, to love you or to act a certain way to you can like express that you're feeling, you can do I love that. And then at the end of the

Adrian, I think there's all very good points. I think, honestly, like the only issues that I still live with my parents because of college ain't cheap man, and I would I mean, I'm not looking for like a way to tell them that I'm leaving moving out. I'm just uh, I completely understand there's there's.

Still an actual dependency there, right right right?

Yea, do you work at all outside of school?

Yeah?

I work at Taco Bell.

Okay, well how much does it how much does this fracture or how much does this? Uh like, what's an example of how this is affecting you in practical terms.

I just.

Like my my parents, mainly my dad. He's kind of cold like with his emotions, but he only treats me nice whenever he wants something from me, and then he'll guilt trip me about it. And I'm like, well, I mean you you do all I do all this for you, and and you make all these faces whenever I ask you to do something. But I mean I never ask anything with them. I like, it's it's a little weird, like that's.

A rough thing.

That's a rough thing, Like a parent looking at their child is like like, like, you need to pay a debt. You have a debt. You need to pay it to me just for the fact that I raise right, Yeah.

Yeah, it's like that, like like I I'm not saying that I want anything from when I do stuff for them, but like they say that, like you do this out of like the kindness of your heart, and we still give you stuff. But they pay for my gas. But I never get to see that gas because it's being used to run ends for them.

You know, well, you know, I also say this like I think being a teenager in early twenties, it's a tough period of time. It's a transitionary period of time, transitional period of time, and you will probably grow out of this situation soon as you get out of school and make a life for yourself, and you know your relationship with your family might change because of that.

This is it.

It's in a real tricky spot right now. But maybe it just kind of got to keep your head down and and see and try not to, you know, let it get to you and know that it's about them, not you, and only you know you could be honest with them, but don't let it. Don't let it like you know, obsessed, don't become obsessive about it.

And in the meantime, plan lots of playdates with the friends. You know, this is a good point. I feel like spending some time with your friends. There's always a good idea.

I love my friends and some of them I treat I consider family, you know, we consider each other's family because I don't know family. I'm not very close with them, you know, because there's any acrimony there. It's just we don't really get along.

Adrian, is there anything else you want to say to the people that compet there before we go?

Uh? I love the get I'm gonna start watching more things for you, Tim, and thank you for listening. I'll have a probably great night.

Hey, thank you, Adrian.

All the best to you.

Who's your best friend?

I don't think about in those terms. I think there's a lot. There's different friends for different situations in my life. Obviously, Eric and I are very close each other for twenty years. Greg Turkington, who I've worked with a lot, my producer on office hours, Matt very close with.

Very and your first cousin are hanging off of a cliff. You can only save one. Who are we going with? Well? Eric?

I mean it just makes business sense.

Sure, you know, right, because it's not really bringing in anything. Yeah, hello, I may, I'm here with Tim. We're being geckos. How you doing?

Oh?

My God, I'm just so good.

Are you good? Guys? I don't want to answer it for you? Is it talking to you? I think she's talking to both of us? No, May, May, How can we get you today? What's going on?

Oh my gosh, I just have to start first by saying, Lyle, I have listened to you since the COVID lockdown and the only first I've ever talked to you, and.

Oh my god, I love you.

Love you too? Man. Oh but anyways, could you say something nice about Tim too? Because the other caller didn't say anything nice about Tim and it's making you know what, Tim.

I think you are so freaking cool for being here. Like the fact that you're cool enough to be associated with Lyle means that you're like an aless celebrity for me.

Great. How can we help you today, babe?

Dude?

So, I'm I'm living in Salt Lake City right now. I'm from Seattle, and I'm going to graduate college and

You want to open a half dispensary half gym. Everyone's body is different and responds differently to things. But I, when I get stoned, exercises the last thing. Yeah, I think of.

I generally fall asleep, but there might be something there. I think if you do it in a very curated Uh what do you what would would be the word the artisan kind of of you know, like not a lot of equipment. It's like very or it's very kind of yoga e some some maybe bar like what's that called bar? With the with the bar, it's like dance, It's like ballet a car you got it? Yeah, the bar.

There's zoomba, there's pilates, Like, well.

Zoomba is a little outdated.

What what what is? What do you do?

Zooma is like very nineties. Maybe Zoomba's coming back though Zooma's nineties.

I feel like a zoomba, Uh you could do a wee zany zoomba, We smoke weed, We get a little zany, but go a little crazy, do a little zoomba. I like that.

I like getting a little high.

And then snoop dog.

Or you could play some like a fish or Grateful Dead.

Or something by the way, you know, And with the financial thing, I don't know the numbers on this, but would starting a business be significantly more expensive than college?

You know, probably that or it would equal out because I'm about to leave call into a fifty k in debt, and so to even have like I feel like an idea or get legality of business going, it'd be around fifty k.

So, oh yeah, it.

Sounds like you got some startup costs there.

Oh yeah, where do you begin?

You've got to like find a partner and stuff. You got to get somebody that that's been that's in the game, right.

Yeah, dude, I gotta find a realtor somebody who can find me a space because first I'll definitely open up the gym because I can just get that going and then hopefully at patch on this dispo later.

But dude, take out all the cliff bars and put in tens of.

Gummies medicated weed. Cliff bars yeah.

Oh my god, that would be awesome.

Cliff here right now, may are you high right now?

You know I'm not joking. The reason it took me a second to pick up the phone was because I had you on you and I might have exhaled out of my water pipe.

Huh Okay in this moment, do you feel like exercising?

You know, I feel like a million dollars because I'm talking to you. But honestly, when I get done, I love to work out. I love it. It feels so good. I can connect with the movement and muscle.

It's awesome.

Yeah, because you're inspiring me to try working out stoned because I've never tried it, and I don't enjoy working out. I find it tedious and like it's always a it's like I just got to do it, and I go through it and it's boring. But if I was a little high, it might be fun.

If you just like, you don't even like counting and stuff is so much easier and you don't even like.

Realize I feel like counting would be fine. One, four, eight.

Well exactly.

That's the fun of it because eventually you get to eight and you're.

Like, yeah, I did it yay. I don't know how I got here, but I did it.

I'm sold on the side.

My next workout is is on Friday morning, and I will attempt this and let you.

Know, may anything else you want to say to the people with the computer before.

We go, I just want to say, everybody drops some love for Lyle ever two and everybody have a great eye.

Thank you. May have a good one you too. Bow. Do you get high often?

No?

But I do take a I take a gummy at night that puts me to bed.

It hits me every night. Yeah.

I got five, like a five milligram or whatever, like very light, and it just keeps me, keeps me down.

I got to be put down like.

A horse every night. It's all my ideas, you know.

But right right, and then then the flushing of creative ideas and you're suppressing them with the weed gumming.

Yeah, but I don't generally, I don't and I don't. I don't get I don't uh use weed uh socially very often every once in a while, but very very rarely. I just started kind of getting very very very in small doses, very a couple of times a year into mushrooms though, and I really do like that, like a little like I did this over the summer. I just took a tiny bit.

What's a tiny bit like some like a micro like half a stem or something half a stem? Okay, not even like what did I do? What to do for you?

It's just a beautiful, wonderful few hours happy, a little little loopy, a little you know.

And is that was it your first time?

No, I did it. I've done it over off and on for years. I did it in high school a lot. Psychedelics a lot, not a lot, but you know, there's like a summer of doing acid.

And stuff and did you?

And then I had a bad experience and I wasn't. I stayed away for a year twenty years or so.

Can I ask what the bad experience was?

Yeah, well, I've now analyzed it, and I've determined that it really probably wasn't the acid. It was probably I was at the Lollapalooza nineteen ninety four and you had the Smashing Pumpkins there, and you had the Beastie Boys, and the Beastie Boys came out and we were way in the back and had been tripping all day, and the energy shifted as you can imagine. When the Beastie Boys came out, this is like ill Communication era. Does that mean anything to you? Check your head ill Communication.

I'll look it up like they were. I mean they were headlining. This is hot. I know that what was was the other band you said was beast of Boys and Smashing Pumpkins. Okay, no, I mean they have similar like hardcore.

Yeah, but it's a little prettier, a little dreamier psychedelic, so it kind of worked. But hm, Anyway, I took a hit from a joint from a stranger.

And I had.

A full disassociative, you know, panic attack that stayed with me for hours, even the next day. It was kind of tingling in me and and I just assumed it was this reaction it was the acid. But there's a good chance the dude gave me, you know something, something some angel duster. I don't know what, you know, PCP, I mean, who knows? So, uh, it's still very you know. I don't encourage it's it's a it's a dangerous sport

Do it supervision.

No, but but I find that a tiny little bit of mushrooms can be can be something you can control. And there are no decide effects that I found. I don't feel bad the next day, and you know, and and it doesn't last a long time. Very nice. I think there's going to be more, you know, it's gonna become a little more.

Yeah.

When you were in high school, do you can you and you were kind of doing more acid and stuff. Can you recall any epiphanies?

No, but I can recall the brand of acid were a little Beavis and butt Head tabs.

That sounds safe.

Yeah, No, I mean that kind of what I was getting in Allentown, Pennsylvania. The drugs I was getting in Allentown must have been the worst stuff, you know, it just must have been the not the primo good stuff. But epiphanies, Yeah, I mean what you learn about life. Sure, I think a lot of my as I was talking earlier about my skepticism of of higher power, I think some of that.

Creeping in with the acid a little bit. I think so, I think. So, see what's going on in the queue? Hello, Hello, Ryan. It says here that you want to talk about the time that you put your energy into a coin and sent it through space.

Okay, so I got that's I did that maybe.

Two three days ago.

I wanted to I put a coin in a box, put my energy in trying to send it through space time and I did it a couple of days ago, and I wanted to. I haven't moved the box yet, so I wanted to pick it up live on the phone with you guys. But I I just started watching.

Sorry, what was it?

Nothing?

Go ahead, please, I'm a huge fan of you, Tim, I'm I'm a huge fan. I'm so excited.

Finally, Jesus, it took two. It took three calls, we got one.

We were one.

Thank you. Of course it's the guy that put a coin in a box that was sending up your time in space.

Obviously. Yeah, I mean, what other sort of person would be that late watching watching your shows?

Man?

You you really you You're one of the best, you know, producer, writer, actors of all time. You know, thank you. I'm so excited. I I you know, I want to just take a moment to appreciate the fact that I can call a get go and and talk to one of the best writers.

And I love that because I appreciate and I love doing it. I love that there's this big old world out there that we can through technology, we can all kind of get into the same room together. And I wish we could do it more often because I think it's a very healthy thing.

I agree. I feel like we're all kind of in the room together.

Yeah.

Now, you sent a coin through space.

So I wanted to. I didn't just want to send a coin through space time. I wanted the universe to I wanted to help somebody, so I I The energy that I put into the coin was to attempts to try to get the coin to appear to whoever might need it at the time, and appear of the currency of the time as well, and just be a coin endlessly traveling through space and time for whoever might need it.

Okay, did it work?

So I'll pick up the box right now. I did it three days ago.

It did not. It did not.

What does it look like?

Yeah, how do you know that it worked?

Before?

I never have tried any thing remotely close to this until maybe three days ago.

Okay, here's what I have even thought about this. So you're sending a coin into space to travel through time so that the coin can help whoever needs it, whether the coin finds itself in the future or in the past.

Was so when I say I put energy into it, you know, you to do something like that, you need the right words and the right you know, thought process. So like, you know, what I wanted to happen was in if it was the future or the past, the coin would morph into whatever currency of the of the time period to whoever might be in neither. It was for somebody in need.

That's fair and it's it's generous. What did it look like when it worked? What was that experience? Could walk us through? Just tell us what happened when it When you said you claimed that it.

Worked, so it's no, I know it's never worked.

I've never tried anything.

You said that. I also thought hearing you say it worked.

What about apologize for the misunderstanding.

Okay, you're you retract that. That's fair, that's an honest you're a ask well, uh, why would you think it would work?

So?

Okay, Yeah, I believe that everybody is God, everything in the universe as well, not just people, so we all things have the ability to travel through space time.

Okay, I remember into.

What would you tell him?

Well, what did I tell him?

Yeah?

I mean how old are you?

Twenty seven?

Okay? And uh are you on uh medication?

How do you define nothing like? Not?

No?

For I smoke marijuana, no psychoactive medication. Oh I takes yeah, okay, but no like prescribed pharmaceutical.

Uh no, that's.

Okay.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Yeah, well, well let me just let me say I think you could take Can I say one thing? Ry, I think you could take your experiments here as perhaps uh maybe you can gather some information from that that perhaps you might have a a false theory on this concept. Maybe you've proved that you've done the good work of proving that this might not be the case.

Try it with a dollar.

Okay, all night, I will.

All right, Ryan, thank you for coming. Yeah, thanks, thanks for the kind words, Ryan.

Yeah, it was.

Amazing talking with you all the best.

Thank you Nice. I like him. I like him too.

That means let's let m think outside the box.

Who cares?

Yeah, I was not sending guns around or anything like that.

I don't think he's sending guns around if he was, Like I put a gun that I'm trying to send through space and time. I feel like a coin in any era is not going to help a lot. I'm being that's.

True, though, that's true. This is one one coin isn't solving anybody's major life.

Somebody's trying to get enough, like saved up for a stick of gum, and it could find them and help them. Which is that's any anything helps?

Sure, maybe he could scale it up if it worked and then start sending big like a big sack of wheat to somebody in need or something.

Is Is money important to you? Uh?

Sure, yes, I think it's it's uh maintains a maintain a standard of living. Ah. I have children, of course, and I don't live extravagantly. I don't we We're pretty humble about most things.

I don't have. I don't have a boat. Is there any like I couldn't imagine having a boat. Is there anything that you are like? I want a good one of this thing? Like anything that you are like, I if I'm I'm gonna spend good money on this thing because it's I feel like everyone has a thing like that.

Yeah, I mean, I don't cheap, I don't. I I like good I like well made clothes sometimes that fit well, you know, and that you know, I don't disparage anybody for wearing cheaply made, cheap clothes, but like, yeah, like this, like this from Amazon. But you know, I don't dress, I don't fancy or anything, but I might, you know, scale up a little bit for for a nice cashmere sweater or something.

I liked the coat you came in, the puffy coat.

Yeah, the PATAGONI like. So I don't might spend a little money on wardrobe because I don't wear I'll also only wear.

Like four things, you know what I mean.

So like, like, I spend a lot of money, but I spend more money than maybe your average Joe on like a black or a white T shirt because it's the only thing I wear and I wanted to feel comfortable and last a long time, so I see value in spending a little more.

On you know what I mean, how often do you do laundry?

Well, I should say I have lots of you know, I have like, let's say, fifteen shirts.

Okay, you have fifteen shirts.

And we do laundry once a week. So I'm not I'm not. I shouldn't say.

Say you have fifteen shirts and you do laundry once. Say you will always have. I always have more than I need. Okay, clothes smart, Yeah, I'll run out. I always wait until I run out. Actually I wait until a week after I run out.

No, I've always wear clean clothes. What I mean is I have the same kind of general I'm like, you know Einstein or something where you just have the same outfit.

Yeah, yeah, jeans or so Mark Zuckerberg does.

Yeah, I's sort of I don't go that, but I have a general like day to day what you know, t shirt, pants, socks, underwear routine.

I like the idea of sending stuff through space to help other people, but like a like a shirt could be good.

Yeah, but I use people always need shoes.

People always need shoes, So I think in the future, Well, we don't know what they're gonna need in the future, so sending that I would recommend for him. I think you should send stuff into the past because we kind of know what they needed. Then study the past. But in the future you have no idea.

Yeah, I I don't want to think about that anymore.

Let's take a call. Hello, Hi, how are you?

I'm good? How about you, Tim?

How are you good? Aiden?

Yeah?

What's going on?

I got I got a lot going on. I thought maybe i'd call in and.

Uh, don't take the wrong way.

You guys are a lot older than me, and uh, I think it's best to ask you, guys, you got a lot more experience on the planet than me, about what you think about the ship I got going on. I mean I already see got it.

Thank you for respecting your elders exactly.

Well, yeah, I don't want to just call you guys old.

How old are you, Aiden?

Molde nineteen?

Okay, from the way you're talking, I thought you would be like seventeen. Hmmm, No, Aiden, what's going on? Tell us everything? Tell us nothing, get us, get us.

Well.

One of my main things is, uh, I can't really commit to one person. What bro I like a lot of high school for five years, be it her round and off, and now I don't know. I've just I seek out a lot of affection from other women, That's what she said. And I guess I just continue to do so part of it maybe because my dad really isn't around all the time. He was always in and out of jail, so kind of kind of rough. I mean, being a man, in my eyes is kind of hard.

Well, you already sound like you've got a head start on things you've got to You're very you seem just to have the perspective to know to talk to us. Seems like you've you've got a head start. And I'm keeping your nose clean and staying out of trouble.

I can't stay tule.

I do try to stay out of trouble. I mean, now I try my best I mean considering seeing where my dad ended up, you know, but it's.

Hard, I really really that the.

Yeah I am, I really am.

When you're what kinds of things are you getting in trouble?

For nowadays, it's pretty much just it'd be like possession or being somewhere I'm not supposed to hanging around motherfuckers.

I shouldn't, and I really don't anymore. When I was younger, I was hanging around some really grimy people. I didn't really have no friends, and the only people that were friends with me were the grinding kids on the side of town. So I got roked in with a real bad crowd. And then ultimately I feel like I just kind of copied down their mannerisms and started doing a whole bunch of you know, shit I shouldn't. Like nowadays,

Yeah, but it's black and Buddha.

It's it's a smokeable form of opium black.

With weed.

Well, it sounds like you have a drug problem.

Yeah, I try my best to do it in moderation.

Well you can't, man, this is serious stuff. This opioids are very serious. They're very addictive, and you don't have necessarily the control to be in charge of that. So I would suggest you get some professional help.

I do. I do.

I've been to rehab a few times. There's a lot of things I don't do anymore. I was doing heroin with my cousin. We were at my grandfather's house and he dropped dead. We were going to the liquor store and that he was just laying in the screen door, and by the time he came back, he was still there and probably wasn't even alive anymore.

So that that got me to kick that.

But can I ask you a question? So, I I know you said you went to rehab a few times. Are you, like currently have professional help?

Yeah, yeah, I do. I see a therapist. I don't go to a psychiatrist anymore. I find frequently that going to them, they don't ever talk to me about my problems. They just kind of load me up on drugs. And I'm like, I already do that. I'm looking to I'm looking to have someone sit down and have a conversation with me, and to me, it's not ideal therapy. I kind of hate the idea of someone, you know, paying someone to care about you. And I got a lot

It's just.

What do you.

What do you what do you aspire towards? What do you aspire to be or what? What are your interests?

Like?

What do you want to do with your life?

Well, right now I'm getting my certifications from comp CIA. I'm getting an A plus, a security plus, and a network plus.

Those are the three.

Main things I'm doing right now because I'm not going to like a college or anything.

What are those?

I missed?

What that is?

Is that?

Uh like a tech stuff?

Yeah?

It basically what I want to do is I'd start out in it and then I'd end up doing network security. The ideal to work penetration testing company. That'd be pretty cool.

Hey, yo, this is a cheap joke.

I like, I like, uh that, I mean you got your head on. Yeah.

That's why I'm confused because it's like, well, then I don't think you should be like you got to lay off the hard stuff a little bit and focus and uh get uh you know, get get a get on a path towards success, which sounds like you're on the path. But the opio I'm opium. What do you take?

Opium?

Yeah?

Man, that's like, that's that's bad news.

Yeah.

I just try to get get that out of your life as soon as possible can.

I ask. I want to ask you this one.

To be a down like good advice.

I don't think that's I don't think you're being a downer by telling him not to do opium. I think that that's No.

I don't think so at all. I think it's very reasonable.

I want to know one thing from you, and I asked I like asking this to people. So you're ceor have professional health, that's good. Tell me is there anything that you're a therapy? I know you said you don't like therapy and whatnot, and I get it, But is there anything that your real therapist has told you that's been particularly helpful?

Yeah?

I really believe her when she says that most of my drug use is probably just me holding myself back because my dad wasn't around, and like I got raped twice when I was a kid by a family member. So there's a lot of things that I feel like kind of took away my manhood. And now I don't have a man in my life to kind of teach me to do that.

Though.

I feel like in the times where I feel like I'm not doing so a lot, that's when I go off. When I start doing you know, all the shit to make me happier, Like if I'm gonna, you know, do a math bomb or some molire assid just shroom like, that's when that happens.

But I just would you like replace that stuff with like oreos, Like if you had oreos, they're very satisfying.

Yeah, they're like crack.

Yeah, maybe it's maybe, I mean, perhaps it's not. It's also dangerous to overdo oreos.

Yeah, that's my that's my version of all this stuff. Sorry to interrupt, No, it's okay.

I feel like I kind of replaced eating a lot with with working out. I don't like to eat too much anymore. I do eat three thousand calories a day because I'm trying to hit one eighties at wait one thirty nine right now. But I mean, I think my main issue is that I can't commit to women. I'm you know, I kind of just.

Well, you're only nineteen, yeah, I said, I thought this was early in the conversation. There's gonna be a little lighter Yeah, but uh, yeah, you're only nineteen. I don't think you should have a great expectation or anybody should have great expectation from you to commit. Yeah, unless you're really feeling like, unless you have somebody that you really feel, uh you're like a special connection with, then you really want to be in the commitment. But if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling.

It, and you do listen. I also I want to I want to say, and also because like you can't if you're if you are have a lot of stuff you're working on for yourself, you can't. You don't want to bring another person's stuff into that because you know, you got to figure out your aunt thing. Yeah, I mean, look, man, you're a sound like a smart fucking guy. Absolutely, gom Like you're a smart fucking guy. You have your head on straight. I know it's tough dealing with all this stuff,

Well, and also follow your gut. And you don't need necessarily a father figure because you seem like you get it and you you can be you can let you can listen to yourself and follow your your gut and your your inner inner inner monologue or your inner voice that seems like knows what you need to do. But the idea of a father figure, I mean, I had a good dad. I have a good dad, But you know, there it's I've made. I made a lot of things

Good agree I think it's an excuse. M.

Yeah, it's a it's a convenient one. It's it sounds right, but it's not necessarily the case.

Aiden man. Is there anything else that that that you want to say about this or that that you feel like we didn't cover, just anything in general that you want to say before we go.

No, No, I just really appreciate you guys taking the time to talk, and I appreciate it.

Yeah, for sure, be helpful.

And I think I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and try to kick the black and Buddha maybe like try to micro does on some screams or something.

I definitely don't.

I think you guys are right. I don't think I need to be doing this shit especially good.

I don't, like, I don't.

Even have any pain, so I don't know why I'm doing it.

You're right, And if if it might not be that easy. So if you if it, if it is challenging, don't give up and reach out and find find some real help because we're not that No, No, we're not licensed.

No, Unfortunately, I do.

Know to seek out real help. I just really wanted to ask your guys' input on it. Like I said, you guys have been on this surf a lot longer than me, but the idea of people being forty years old is just unfathomable to me. I haven't even been cognitive for twenty years. So I just really appreciate you guys giving me your.

Insight on it.

I understand it's not sure or anything, but it's been really helpful.

I do appreciate it.

I'm really going to take the advice to heart.

You're right, good, happy to do it.

Hey, take care of it.

You guys have a great night. I appreciate it.

You too, Yeah, you too, take care. Be safe.

Man. That guy he's like, that's it's.

Confusing, right, because he's so articulate. Yeah, yeah, you know you can tell he's very seems like you could imagine that God.

Be very motivated. Yeah. Absolutely.

And then to hear him talk about doing meth bombs and black and budha and just make me made me sad because that's a that's a dark path if you're not careful.

I hope, I I don't know. It's I'm glad to hear he was saying that he's gonna go into it and he has like a y like everything everything the path forward felt very clear. Like that's what I meant when I was talking about the light, Like I really saw it in him. Yeah, you know, yeah.

When you're nineteen, I mean, life can seem like that's all life is, that that little world you live in right there. But man, there's so much to come, so much fun, great stuff to come, and adventures and and and bad things are coming and and but but exciting things are coming to when you're that age.

When you were like nineteen or early, what were you angsty as a person?

Yeah, a little bit, a little bit, Yeah, a little angsty, but a bit of a bit of a goofball id. I found that. My wife told me that one of the greatest compliments she heard from somebody else about me just the other day. Because there's a few of our friends that I've known, I've known since college that we're all still friends and we're currently they have a daughter that's my son's age, so we see them a lot.

This is this is kind of interesting to transition into something I did want to talk to you about, and I've heard you talk about it on another podcasts, like you're you're making more sincere appearances as yourself. Do you feel like anything like within you changed to want to be less? I guess fuck around?

Ye yeah, like like like perhaps having kids is a bigger deal than I thought it was going to be.

Huh. But also.

The analogy if people might not know this reference, but Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman was very a big influential person to me. He was almost entirely always in character. Whenever you saw him, he was always doing some bit. He was always doing, you know, not not talking about himself in any kind of genuine way. Yeah, And that was his whole thing, And that was what I wanted to do, and that's what Eric wanted to do. And that was kind of all our our focus on that, aside from

And so.

I still like to laugh and joke around and if there's some occasion that that feels right to do a bit with and to be in character certainly lots of places, But I don't want to like stop myself from just being myself for for what, for no reason anymore? Yeah, And I find I have more to offer than just than just doing bits.

Were when you started having more sincere appearances, as was any part of you afraid that it would dilute when you do want to go out and do bits.

Uh No, I mean if I'm gonna do a bit now, it would it would be I don't know, there'd be something very clearly signaling that in what I'm doing or talking about. But I still get. I mean, there's still people, and we live very much in an age now. I believe of literalism, and and people are very which is a little paradoxical because you think everybody would be so skeptical, but people are very quick to believe what they see and hear. Right, Yeah, do you agree.

I see what you're saying. The more people are taking things at face Valt, yeah, yes.

For instance, I assume that when I said I was a scientologist, that a large number of people just like he's a scientologist. Why would he joke? Why would he not? Why would he be lying?

You know?

But I have a very like, you know, dry sense of humor, and it also might not click with a lot of people. But when it does click with people, the people that know me and get my rhythms whatever, might have enjoyed that joke because they know I'm not a scientologist.

I mean, part of them enjoying the joke, I mean, of course, but like a part of them enjoying the joke is the people that don't.

Don't get the joke joke, of course. But obviously I think even in my most most sort of nihilistic or or confrontational comedy, there's still in me a desire to express myself and to be understood right and to be appre and to be uh, you know, rewarded through applause.

We were talking about that earlier, the appreciate what it was like, What do you feel like you the mediums that you were going through in the way that you were going about it, do you feel like you were not being understood through that?

Well, it was being understood by a portion of a small group of people who really got it, really felt personal connection to it, of course, but that you know, then there's a big bucket of people that didn't and were didn't didn't care for it at all, which is you know, I mean, that's that's everybody. But and I and we I don't I guess, uh, we never try to win.

Over the whole room. Yeah, you just do what you do.

You just do whatever is in your mind, and you try to make it as good as it can be and hope it works. I'd prefer everybody loved dollar, you know, I'm not trying to well sure, why not?

Oh?

I feel like even like as just as like being a human being, if your desire is for like, if you're just living your life and you want everyone to like just as a person, it's different, different with being a person than with making a thing, I guess, I.

Mean from a from a business from a economic perspective, the more people that are into your shit, the easier it is, the more t shirts I can get, or just the easier it is to do stuff, which is the easier it is to make stuff.

Because power your control.

So, like, my favorite group is the Beatles.

Yeah, I don't.

I think they certainly probably did things to try to appeal to as many people as possible, but they didn't go out of there, they didn't go crazy doing that. They just were themselves. Yeah, and they did it over and they worked really hard on it and they got really good at it. But they were pretty much just them doing what they wanted to do, and for whatever reason, that connected with everybody, and.

You felt like buying being not being understood by you know, broadly made it harder to just make stuff and get the money that you need, yeah, get cameras.

And we're in that level of and this we're not at this level, but we're in that pool of like David Lynch or people that are doing very personal things that are that we all know, like I know, when we're making stuff that's like, well, this isn't for my mom, you know, this isn't for but I went. But at the same time, I could still wish that it was more about It's more about them than us, you know what I mean.

Yeah, But the people who it's for, they absolutely love it and it's so.

And it's great and so, like I said, I'm never trying to do I'm never like changing my approach to reach a more bigger audience. All I'm saying is how nice would it be if we were the Beatles?

But would suck? Well?

Two of them are dead.

Two of them are dead. One sounds kind of nice.

From violence, gun violence, one from cancer. But they say, do you know about George Harrison being violently knife attacked in his home? I don't, like, you know before he died, obviously he was a crazed person broke into his house and attacked him with a knife and nearly killed him. And they say that kind of sped up his his own death.

That's just getting stabbed with a knife will absolutely speed up your own death in many situations.

So, yes, there's a downside to being in the Beatles, I guess, but I don't know. I'm not sure where the question started.

Well, beetles are not you will die.

The trick is. The other truth is like, as I get older, it's exhausting to come up with, you know, bits every time somebody asked me to. So it's sort of like, yeah, I better let that go because I actually do there's you know, like there's many sides to what I want to do, and I'm absolutely in loving the hell out of talking to people, you know, I love it. So I'm not forcing myself into doing something

When you're doing it, like when you're it's just for eleven minutes, you can do it. Well, I mean you've done a bit for four hours at a time.

Yeah, Well but it is when that's when I want that idea to exist. Yes, and it's controlled and it's worked on, and it's it's put out there for a reason. But yeah, if my whole identity is wrapped in irony and bits, you know, I'm a miserable guy. Oh yeah, And clearly I'm not a miserable guy.

First, when I first started doing this, I was a little bit more, a little bit more distant, a little more like maybe I'll like fuck with people and like.

But then you talk to that guy and you're like, I can't fuck with that.

I can't fuck with that dude. That's what When I was in high school, I was soap. I was I wanted to make stuff like like I saw like Kyle Mooney's interviews where he would do on the street stuff and like fuck with people, and I was like, that is hilarious. I want to do that. And I would fuck with people. And then folks start, you know, like folks start like, you know, getting vulnerable and like I can't fuck with them. And even and now I'm like I I I it's more enjoyable to not fuck with people.

And that's part of I think my evolution is happening. At the same time as I think comedy might be evolving in a way of we've like the Man on the Street prank Show, the prank shows, the it's funny, but some of it feels a little like we're all tired, like mean spirited. Yeah, like we don't we don't well, and it's and it's and it's overdone and it's been

Am I doing?

What could be what's the best way to do this?

You know?

And sometimes it isn't being entirely entrenched in irony.

I mean, you're totally right that that would just be exhausting. And if I did this pot it's like if you do a podcast where you're talking to people or where you're just live for hours a week. To be in a thing like that is fucking exhausting. Take a call as you wish. Hello, Hello, Hello, is this the gek This is two geckos. This is uh Lyle and Tim and we're geckos and we're talking to people and we're living life. How you doing?

Oh my god, I'm good.

How are you guys?

Great?

What's what's going on? Riley? How's life?

Uh?

I called in to talk about my irrational fear of butterflies.

Irrational fear of butterflies.

You should be very afraid.

In many countries butterflies have venomous bites.

Actually, yeah, I'd stay the hell away.

Where's your fear come from?

I have no idea, because I've always had it. Like I remember in kindergarten we were like we had like this butterfly project where we would like sort of grow them in the classroom, and I was just horrified. I couldn't go near the cages. And I would like draw pictures of like fanged butterflies and give them to my parents. And like it's been like a long time, and I don't know where it stems from.

What about moths? You know?

I haven't really had a whole lot of experience with like big scary moths, but I can imagine they would be the same.

Gotcha, I feel like it'd be worse. I don't think it'd be the same.

Moths are kind of gross, but then when when you smash them, they just turned to dust A lot of time. Yeah, I have never crushed them. I've never touched a butterfly. Butterfly, I've never I've never killed a butterfly. It seems like bad luck.

Have you ever killed a butterfly?

Riley?

I have not.

I don't get close enough to do that.

I just now.

Use explosure therapy, but it hasn't worked.

Oh yeah, my boyfriend's here. He took me to a butterfly room once and it was horrible.

Did he know? Did he take you to a butterfly room knowing that you're afraid of butterflies?

Yet?

Here's what I'm going to predict. I have a little I don't like to make predictions, but here's my prediction.

How old are you? Riley?

Eighteen?

Okay, Riley, I'm going to predict. I'm envisioning Riley as a thirty five year old woman, very confident in her life. Maybe she's not with this dude she's with now. Believe me, I don't think that's happening. But you're a very you're in a great place. You're a great great you're married or whatever you are. Maybe you got a couple of kids.

Uh getting killed? Or what? We're so scared of? What falling off a bridge?

No?

I was scared of butterflies. Can you believe that?

You're all laughing, tears rolling down your face and you won't even remember why. All you remember is that you were scared of butterflies, and you know it's just gonna pass.

I love that some good perspective. What do you think of that, Riley?

I mean, yeah, that makes sense. The only thing is I like, I know they're harmless, Like I'm not like afraid of what they'll do to me or anything. But like every time I see one and every time it comes near me, it's like an instant like fight or flight reaction. Like I don't know what it is. I know that they're safe, but they're just I.

Think you should choose fight every time until all of the butterflies are gone, and that way you won't have a problem anymore.

Yes, the world would be a better place for you in a high butterfly population area.

Do you need to move really?

Possibly?

I'm in like the least populated butterfly.

Zone, like two seconds. Can you put them on for like a second? Hi?

Tim, I'm a huge fans.

Always the boyfriend. Well, thank you. I'm sorry I disparage your relationship there. I just I don't know.

I was gonna why why? Why was it okay? Because I'm thinking two things. Did you take her to the butterfly sanctuary and as an act of good faith because you thought it would be exposure therapy or because you thought it would be funny or maybe a little bit of it.

I got to say it's probably a little bit of both, but mostly exposure therapy, because I think it's funny when like we're outside and one passes by and she flips out, so like, maybe if we go to room, then she's like, oh, they're harmless. Didn't work though, and you're allowed to kill. Fight wasn't an option.

I take it back. You guys are going to be together on that thirty fifth birthday Classic class of Wine.

Riley, anything else you want to say to the people the computer before you go?

What about you?

Cal uh?

I have a wrestling tournament on Saturday. If you guys could just wish me good luck, that would mean the world.

Good luck, good luck. Maybe that's allowed ye pin the pin them and pin them quickly. Hey, take care, Riley, thank you. Wrestling is it's a lot. I was terrible.

I used to do the fourth grade wrestling.

You're fourth care wrestling?

Yeah, terrible. Just get pinned right away.

I used to do sock wrestling. You know what that is? No, it's like we stand like this and I try to take your sock off and you try to take off. I feel like it's more teach my kids that that. But they'd love that. Yeah, we did that at at camp. Sounds abusive. Get this another, Riley, Come on, Riley, that it is how you doing? Riley with a man's voice.

Yeah, I get that a lot. Actually, how is it hanging? I'm doing all right.

I'm just about to set off the work, Riley.

Is there anything particularly called in to talk about today?

Yeah, I have a little dilemma on my hands. Actually, a couple of months ago, I was at a yard sale and like, I found of a Facebook. It was a Facebook, Yeah, it was Facebook. Went on to Facebook and I bought like, uh, this crate of old games off this old lady that she posted on the yard sale site.

And apparently she was not supposed to do that. And apparently I don't know how they did it. They probably like look me up in the group or something, but they trapped me down and asked for the stuff back.

And so somebody owned the box of tapes and she just put it out accidentally.

Yeah, Like they were all old like video games from like the ne e s all the way up to like I think the it wast one.

Of like the Wii, and yeah.

Your money, say say sorry or say oh yeah, this stuff happens, you know, and sorry, no hard feelings.

I'm gonna give I was gonna I'm gonna give you. I want to do you have a compelling reason as to why you want to keep the games.

Yes, I do collect old game like I have a.

I've got them from somewhere else.

You don't think that stuff is like everywhere. I thought it would be like, oh, but I gave them to my little cousin and now he or something like that. It's all about him.

Like uh, like these are like rare games.

You know you know where you are, you know you ever seen Toy Story two? Yeah, you're fucking alf toy barn guy.

I'm not I'm not selling them like I want to keep them from me.

Well, what did these guys say? They were heard adults, but what well, there's no adults in this situation.

Believe what were you going to say? You were going to say that the reason why they want them back, which, what's the reason they told you they want them back?

Well apparently like they weren't supposed to put them out, but they did anyway, And I just happened to be there.

All right. And do you know that reddit? What's that Reddit? Am I the asshole? You're the asshole? I hate to tell you, because you have every right to keep the games. Okay, under the law law, you can keep the games.

But if you've absorbed the situation that there was a mistake made, the nice thing to do would be to return the games and get your money back, assuming they would give you all your money back. I assume that's that's part of the right.

Yeah, Like, I don't die and.

Just be dude.

You're twenty two years old. This is a great opportunity for you to say I made a sacrifice. I did something I didn't want to do. I'm giving up this irrelevant thing that I'm collecting. No disrespect, but I mean i'll I'll retract that. I I can honor and respect your your desire to collect things. I don't personally understand it, but okay, let's let's just say this is important to you. Right, Am I wrong?

Do the right thing?

Yeah, well, do the right thing, return it.

I bet you.

I don't believe in this kind of stuff, but I bet you two days later.

Something's Gonnath's gonna happen. Happen. I still believe.

Can I just get your pledge that you will do that?

What do we think here? Are they?

Well? I want to but like, there are some games in there. There's one in particular, it's a Pokemon Gale of Darkness and it goes for two hundred and fifty dollars online.

Well, maybe you can negotiate with these guys two hundred and fifty dollars. That's I mean, that's no. I mean, in the great scheme of things, you can't hang on to two hundred fifty dollars like it's the only thing that exists in the world. So if you want to, maybe I would say, do one round of negotiating with these guys.

I find that makes it. That's what makes it. That makes it worse. I almost think that makes it worse.

Let me just say that, do they have an awareness of the value of these games?

I don't think the woman that sold me them does, but I think like that guy who owned the games does.

And that's why you went, well, yeah, I'll give you this, and option A is just do just just be a nice guy and give them back and say, oh man, option B is hey, I uh, I just want you to know I I I collected these games. Uh there's one game in here that has a good, good value to it.

Would you put?

Okay, well there's multiple so so you so I mean, listen, I just give him back to this is too much of us.

Is too much. We've been talking about Riley, right, I would.

It's not that we're talking about too much, but uh, it's too complicated to try to go in there and make a deal. And then you don't want this guy like you're just a dick if you don't do it, because it's just he seemed, you know, it seems like it was an honest mistake. So I would say, like Elsa says, let it go, let it.

Go, I hate that movie.

Rley, give the fucking games back, give him back.

Perhaps you're right, but if you really want to push the issue, say, listen, these I collect these games. What did you pay for him?

I pay fifty bucks for the whole bus?

So I tell you what you want to be a real you wanna be a good guy, say I collect these games. Some of these games are very important to me. Could I give you an extra fifty bucks for it? So you're giving them, you're giving them one hundred bucks total. Okay, and you're still gonna come out if you want to sell these games.

That's actually a damn good compromise.

They say no, no, we want them back. Say okay, no problem, I'll come by. I drop the mom.

That's a damn good compromise, you know, give it, give it a shot. Uh, you'd tell you does not want to give them extra fifty bucks for these for these games.

I I see where you're coming from. I think that's the road I'm going to go down. Like, see, if I can't give them like a little bit more so I can keep them.

Yeah, you don't think these guys want to go to eBay and look up how much these things are.

You'd be surprised. A lot of people are selling ship that they just they don't even care to do that. They just want out of the house. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's like what the originally was the purpose of the art sale, and that's why like they put him out.

All right, Well, let's get an update on this one.

I am almost I am. I would not be surprised if you tried to sell this game, you didn't give him back. You tried to sell the money bay and you somehow got space and you sent it the game and some carmatic thing.

No, like I don't, I'm I don't. I'm not a scalper, Like I don't do that.

My one friend does that.

He actually he he was the one that introduced me to the.

Large thank you for not turning to these friends for advice.

Yeah, yeah, the computer before we go.

I uh, I think I'm gonna go down the road. I I'll negotiate with them and if they don't want the money, you're probably right.

It wasn't it was a mistake.

I guess I'll I guess I'll give.

Him a back, beautiful, very good, proud of you. Thank you. Isn't it great when you get through to someone we'll see I mean, yeah, that's so funny that he was like, I don't do that, but I have a friend who does.

That's a great story. That's a great story. And it's shocked because some there's some goons out there that be like, hey, you paid for it, you should get you know, the transaction occurred that to go to the letter of the law. But we have to be bigger than that sometimes. But I don't we don't know the whole situation.

Well, I wanted to give him the benefit I thought he would have, So I can't think of what it is, some creative compelling that he gave him to somebody else already or something like that where it makes them more.

Confect but he that was like like he's uh this, what's the guy from the.

Lord of the Rings?

My you?

I thought this was mister Burns, my precious. Hello, Hi, how you doing good? How are you doing doing well? Hanging in there? You're on the phone with Lyle and Tim. We're two geckos. We're hanging out. What can we do for Your? Name is Lauren?

Yeah? I My name is Lauren, and I have a little silly, little silly.

Story for you.

I'm into a silly story.

Yeah, So do I just begin?

You you anything?

Please start in the middle?

Can you can? You?

Can we pulp fiction? This?

That's the tell it out of order?

Okay?

Well, one time me and my husband were having some fun and I knew how to queef on demand, so I thought if I could just stuck in and as I was sucking in, he could put a ping ping pong ball inside there. And I sucked it and he put the ping pong ball inside and I pushed it out and it almost hit our ceiling fan. And I haven't been able to do it since. But my goodness, what a silly story that I would love to tell.

A get go.

See? How do you see? How do you suck it, Like, like, how do you charge a quiaf like that the fact that you cagle muscle you because I can't I could, I can't. Like I can fart, but I can't charge. I can't suck my fart in to give it some like start running space to charge out. That's kind of a fascinating thing.

It's it's like a weird muscle. It's like it's if sometimes people know how to move their eyebrows up and down and some people don't. You either like know how to use that muscle or you don't.

Know how to use that muscle.

Mm hmm, I'm move I believe me, I'm moving my eyebrows up and down during this call.

WHA Like, but can you do it like one time in another Like it's like weird to control those different muscles and like and like I can queef on demand. I can also sometimes on demand, but like I have to be in the right position, so maybe you have to like experiment with that.

You know, I appreciate you telling this story. I do of one thing. Uh, this ability to queef on demand? Has it been helpful for you in any practical sense? Has you have you gotten any money from this. Have you gotten any fame? Like, what has it really done for you? Empirically?

It hasn't really done anything great. I mean I had a tampon stuck in. Yeah, it's like a weird like party trick, Like, hey, guys.

Guess what I could do.

At a certain kind of party? Can you do it on the call here?

Yeah?

Well, like good friends, I don't think I can. I have an iud and and like, I'm so nervous, but I'll pop it out one day.

So I need to practice my muscles again, just hypothetically asking.

I was a requesting.

I want to, but I don't think I could.

Well, Lauren, uh, listen, call back in another time, whenever you whenever you want to. And you know, if you if you feel like you feel like updating us on this, if you've found a way to make this like a business somehow.

Turn out everything's about money, something's about just having fun.

But it could be there's whole website still dedicated to this. I've heard of those.

I'm not really that kind of person. Should you want to hear another weird vagina story?

Sure are right.

So one time I was a little drunk, I'm watching the race I'm trimming my tubes with scissors. I'm not looking. I'm hunched, like over the trash can and Smith, I cut a piece of my laby off.

I is that? Did that happen before or after you gained the queafing powers? Because maybe that is the secret somehow to the abilities that you've gained.

Did it hurt.

It?

It didn't hurt Right when I did it, I was kind of like, holy shit, that just fucking happened. So it happened, and then my husband was, well, actually it didn't like cut off all the way. I sliced it, and my husband like pinched the lips back to where it was supposed to be.

By the way, By the way, this officially makes you Jewish?

How does that make me jewish?

He doesn't know what he's talking about. Anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Lauren, thank.

You for taking my call.

You guys are so funny to be around, and I aspire to be like you one day. Vile Jack oh Man.

Thank you, Lauren. I appreciate that. I'll talk to you soon, all right, talk to you later, man. I aspire to be like you. I want to queaf a ping, pung ball out of my vagina. That could be fun. Sure, Hi, Hello, how are you?

Oh?

I'm doing good man?

How are you?

I'm hanging in there? Your name is uh Bless twenty two from Marilynd's how's it hanging man? How can we get you to that?

It's so basically like I'm moving away this year. I got into college and like I'm excited and everything, but I'm concerned about dating and like sex and all the other stuff because I I have I have a micro penis. So it's just it's just difficult, Like I have a lot of shame about it, and I just I wanted to know if you guys could give me any advice or like you know, recommendations, you know, moving forward in my life to kind of overcome this insecurity.

Well, uh, there are other ways to uh please women.

Have you are you a virgin?

I mean technically yes, Like yeah, yeah.

Let me say something. Sexual intercourse is of is just a little part of a human being's life. Some people, it's not. Some people it's all they can think about. Some people that they're obsessed with it and they can't do anything. But you know, a well rounded person, it's not the it's not it shouldn't be your You're the only thing that that you worry about or think about,

Can you?

I don't know enough of what you when you say micropeds, I don't know if you're being Is that a clinical term or is that a is that just like are you just just.

So yeah, so.

Under under like two and a half inches erect?

Well, but but you can you can you can uh become erect and you can come.

Yes, yeah I can, so you can.

You're your sexual organs work properly. They're just not to the dimensions that are more that are that are considered normal in society at these days.

Exactly exactly.

The common talking point on this.

And please because I don't know the common talk like, I don't I really don't know because I'm out of the game.

You know what I mean is you know, if you are not able to perform very well in traditional sexual intercourse, there is the the avenue of oral sexual intercourse. Uh, there are there's guys, you know, there's guides on the internets.

Yeah, have you done have you looked into the into this on the internet? Like micro penis?

Uh? Dating?

Like see what what do they say?

There's a lot of forums and stuff like you get a lot of support on on it. But yeah, a lot of the guys on there are kind of fatalistic about it, like it's like, yeah, so it's not it's not very encouraging for me to go online, so I try to ignore it a bit.

Well, no one knows what you've got between your legs unless you want them to know, right, So there's that. You don't have to walk around thinking everybody knows your situation.

Uh.

But if you're gonna if you like some girl and she seems to like you, I would be you know, it's gonna come up talk about it. Uh boy, I don't know, man, I feel I feel a little.

Uh.

I don't want to just give you a flippant joke answer or anything like that. But but you're it's not your it's not your identity, it's not who you are.

Can can I want? I want to ask you is and you give me the truthful answer to this question? How important. Is sex to you?

Very very important? I like, yeah, I really like I just I see it. There's something to a tame, Like I think I've been into it since I was like really young. I think that I've been more sexual than other people. And it's like if I'm not able to please my partner like it really yeah, I think it really affects like how I feel about myself and whatnot. But I feel it's.

Interesting because it seems like you're setting yourself up for for uh, you know, you're setting your expectations too high, like on purpose almost.

How do you how do you feel like he's setting his expectations high?

Well, uh, if you if you place a great amount of importance on performing sexually, knowing the condition you have and knowing there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it unless there are additional aids like uh, you know, uh, what do you call them? The dildos vibrators? You know, unless you want to go that route, you are creating a scenario where you're going to disappoint yourself and the other person.

Right right, So don't do that. And also there's a thing I really strongly believe just by the sheer volume of people that every kind of person exists, so they're and the great thing about the relationship issues is you only need to find one this kind of every kind of person there does exist, by there has to there.

Has you a good looking Are you a true I mean, do you consider yourself a good looking guy?

Not really? Like, oh I think I think that like that could just be like low self esteem, Like I'm not sure. I don't think like sometimes like some sometimes, but I don't think so personal.

Who do you look like? Uh, give like a celebrity comparison or somebody that maybe we would know that we can kind of give a get a parameter.

You guys know, Like do you guys know Travis Smiley?

Yeah, yeah, I remember Travis Smiley. He was Tavis Smiley, Tavis have a smiley. He was like yeah, he was like a late night talk show host. It was like a serious interview show.

Okay, I've seen I've.

Heard the Smiley and like our Seniel Hall, like, but.

Okay, you're skinny. Yeah, he's a good looking guy.

I'm looking him up right now. He's not He's not a bad looking guy. Not a bad look. Senel Hall is not a bad looking guy. Either well, I first of all, I think.

Then that's another too, is like I'm black, and I think that people expect like the opposite.

There's a stereotype there associated with well it would be a pleasant surprise for somebody.

Maybe maybe they're worried about it's true, but.

I do think at your age it's natural to have sort of uh, you know, preoccupation with sex, but it definitely diminishes over time as your hormones change. And try to put your sexual life in perspective of not making it the only thing that you are trying to, you know, find your enjoyment out of like this mortal life, and you know, don't just shut the door on the idea that maybe, like you said, there's somebody out there.

That there's so many, so many people, so many people, you'll you there exists there is a girl out there who doesn't care about the micro penis. Even if most wood might care, that doesn't even doesn't matter because once you find the one that doesn't.

You know, and let me say, you're also a product of society, where why are we making small dick jokes like I'm not. But of course that's that's like the easiest it's on TV all the time.

You grew up with it.

I'm sure you grew up with it. Jokes about your penis size. It's it's ingrained in our culture and it and this is a good example of how damaging or hurtful that can be. You got a guy out there that has a real condition and it's it's causing you, uh, you know, stress. So this is a larger concern. But uh, there's nothing wrong with somebody having a small penis or a big penis whatever.

It's just the way you are, how you feel. I'm blessed.

Yeah, I actually like that advice, Like say, your expectation is properly.

At That's not something that you can just do automatically. Takes a long time, it takes a little work, and and it doesn't happen right away. So but just keep that in the back of your head and try to breathe and meditate and eat healthy and live live, try to live a balanced life.

Blessed. Is there anything else you want to say to me? Or Tim or God? Are the people of the computer before we go?

I love you guys, man, You guys are cool.

Bro.

I love everyone. I hope everyone has like a good life. And ship and yeah, be nice to people.

Thank you, blessed, appreciate you calling man, take care all right bye? Are you horny in general? Yeah? In general?

I mean like no, not not not to a place where it's a problem, you know, or I mean just normal. I feel fairly fairly normal, if maybe a little under horny.

Underhorny is is that? Have you always kind of been?

Yeah, I've never been much of a I never I was never like that was never my prime focus.

What about not even like with dating and stuff, but what about like how often do you masturbate? Mm hmm.

Maybe once or twice a week.

That's pretty pretty, that's pretty not that's that's fair. I would I think that's far below average.

Yeah, it's it's more uh yeah, I again, I I uh, there's things I just there's I love laughing.

Laughing is the best.

No, I don't know, yeah, just something I'm still fairly private and guarded about my that part of my life. But yeah, there's you know, there's certainly people that, uh that's what they got on their brain.

Sure, not so much me. Okay, I don't know if that was an uncomfortable thing to ask you, sure of course.

But I'm a little prudish or a little puritan in the discussion of the subject in general.

You know, you.

Understand why I would not think that, right, well, because you I mean, a lot of the stuff you make is like sex related and very but it's like.

It's like the most grotesque version of it, or you know, it's not it's a mockery of sexual obsession. Interesting, it's not a it's not a huge it's not a genuine expression. I'm not like, I don't know who, you know, making some kind of porno. Yeah, we're making fun of that. That making fun of the sex obsession.

Yeah, Okay, I.

Think so now, And that wasn't always my bag anyway.

No if I asked us yet, But do you have vices? Do you have like what do you do? You do anything that you consider like.

Well, I've admitted to gummies at night to sleep, mushrooms, gummies at night, mushrooms. Uh. I mean, you know, I've lost a lot of weight and yeah, and I'm very proud of that and very happy with that feeling of not of dropping some pounds. I would say, I have you know, I've loved sweets, I love chocolates and Reese's Piece. Who doesn't doesn't But I could go nuts on that

I don't drink that much. I go through.

Uh, you know, there's certain if I'm on tour or you know, I might drink more than I would be if I if I was at home a couple of beers. But yeah, I'm pretty uh, pretty boring in that respect.

It's funny to think that you get it. A lot of like people are like, oh, you must have been on drugs doing this stuff. But it wasn't try as Reese's Pieces.

It was sugar, pure sugar. I drink coffee in the morning.

Okay, you put cream in it? Nope, black. I have to know it that.

I do have office hours tomorrow morning. By the way, I should plug that my birthday episode of Office Hours.

Oh yeah, yeah, wait, do you want to plug at the ender? I plug right now? What do you prefer? You plug right now? I do plug. We have someone on the phone. Oh yeah, let's plug to them. Who's on the call?

Hello?

Val?

How are you Val?

I'm doing all right?

How are you guys?

Pretty good? I just want to let you know I do. I do my own podcast Thursday Mornings, which is tomorrow here in America. Uh, and that would be uh on my YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash Tim Heideker. You can see my name there. I think there's a link. And that's really a similar show call in show we've got, you know, it's a little bit more no offense. It's you were on the show, you had a good time.

Yeah, I have a good time.

We have guests come in, we take calls, and it's it's it's a little lighter than this show. It's not we don't get into some of the dark stuff. Sure, but that's happening. And then I'm going to be touring over there in the UK and Europe in March.

Where where in the UK? Everywhere?

London, Sheffield, Brighton, Nottingham, Galway, Ireland and Dublin and everywhere if you can find that at Tim Heidiker dot com slash live. So was this vow.

Vow?

Can you make it out to any of those shows in the UK?

I live in the US, but I would love to travel to the UK to come see you.

All right, well we can arrange something.

Are you doing any tour dates domestically this year?

No tour dates domestically can be announced at this moment. Okay, got it, got it, But I'm hoping to later.

In the year. Yes, yeah, you're sang any merch these days? Where can they buy merch?

Well, the merch department is open and that's at the website as well.

Okay, is that Tim hideker dot com slash shop.

There'll be a you know, I believe so Okay, so val If you want to get a first class plane ticket on British Airways to London, you're gonna want to land around March fourteenth to get settled in and then see me later in the month.

Hiday.

I can make a cover.

Thank you. Do you have any other questions about any of Tim's upcoming projects? Are current things that going on?

She's got her own questions.

I don't, but I will for sure tune into his show tomorrow morning.

You should, You should. I did do office hours. It's fun. I'm glad that I was when I was on one thing that was as you guys, were talking about a band that I didn't know what the band was, but then you started talking about Eyes Wide Shut, and I was like, I can participate in this conversation because yeah, scene as we.

Somebody told me that I got the timeline of that movie wrong. Oh oh, it was an actual extra day. I did a whole thing about how that whole movie takes place over two days.

I was thinking that too, but you were in this bit of like it was just one day and it was. It was funny.

So was I an influence on you at all in your life?

Yeah? I have it heavily. I was gonna I was. I was thinking. I was like, I'm playing it cool, but I'm gonna gush over you at the Yeah, No, I saw you. I saw you at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, d C. With my best friend Ryan when I was fourteen years old. That's wild. I saw you on the the tim and Eric and Brule.

Yeah, it was a great tour with piano backstage. I enjoyed the piano backstage at the Lincoln Theater. Uh, that's terrific.

Man.

Ten years old. Then I saw you when you were doing you were showing like the new episode of bedtime stories. I've seen three times. Okay, yeah, great shows. Great, I put on a great show on a great show. I haven't seen you. I've seen your the Special. Yeah, but I haven't seen I haven't gotten the chance to see just You live doing the band that.

The band is fantastic. They're unbelievable musicians and uh, I love playing with them so much. I'm having so much fun, so much joy playing music with this group. And uh, play all my songs. There's some funny ones in there, there's some sad ones in there. I get people to cry into and uh, but man, it's a.

Great album where you have a tear drop going what the broken hearted do? I love that album? Thank you? Yeah.

I like writing sad songs. They're they're very cathartic and uh, and they're the kind of songs I would want to listen to.

You know, I appreciate the rain. I don't want to. I don't want to.

I don't want to sit there and listen to sae uh break good times?

Come on? What about the bad times? Who's saying about those? Come on?

Give me something to drink my beer with, you know, crying my beer anyway?

Foul? Yes, I think that show. You did Beef House too, that was good. Beef House was great. Canceled You want to hear something kind of is what I So. Before I did this, I worked in the social media department at Adult Swim and that one of my jobs was to watch every episode of Beef House and make and make gifts of it. Oh well those are those are everywhere now, There's everywhere now. And I saw you made a tweet that had a gift in it that I made, and I was like, hell, yeah, Timmy.

Thanks for the work, Thanks for the great work. But that show apparently is so useless to them that you it does not exist anywhere on the they.

Got I think it got got a bunch of shows cut in.

The merger, the big HBO Max. We don't want to talk, We don't want to have to touch. These people out there don't want to talk hear about our show biz.

So sure, I don't want to, you know, bring any of that up.

But it's it's terrible to that show is just I don't know where you you would even see it.

My favorite thing of yours, bedtime Stories.

Very proud of that show. Yeah, uh yeah that that that's it gets pretty dark. We very we're very proud of making because we had made an awesome show and it's it obviously intentionally looks terrible, looks like cable act. And then this was the complete thing, and this was like, let's do let's do something that looks great cinematically, and it was very hard to do that on a small budget, but we got you know, there's an episode toes.

Yeah, Bobby and Kirk.

And what's his name? Uh, m Emmett, emmett Wall.

I show everything my like anytime I'm like introducing someone to your universe, I show them whole holes.

That's that came out really good too.

Yeah, thank you, Well, Val, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Well?

Can I tell a joke?

Yeah? Of course.

Do you guys know where they sell the bacon eat or.

Where? Well, I'm asking, uh, Wendy's fuck you, I know where're gonna do Wendy's.

Nuts going in your mouth? You guys didn't let me talk.

It says here that you okay, actually this is kind of fast, good joke. It says here. It says here that you were reported to an organization known as the USPF, which is an organization that governs horses, and you still have to work closely with the person who reported you. Yes, and why were you reported by the horse people?

So I didn't do anything to the horses.

It's that the horse sport is a very rich fort, like anyone that's good is a billionaire basically, and so I can't afford it unless I work for someone. But now that I'm over.

Eighteen, working for someone in.

Exchange, like working for free in exchange for not being billed for.

Training, is against the rules. Technically I have to be a professional.

So I was reported, but that's not where my main issue lies. My main issue lies with the girl that reported me. I work very closely with, Like we go to horse shows and we lived together for like one to two to three weeks at a time in a random city in the US. And I'm pretty positive she's on the autism spectrum and I've always been the nice one to her, but now she's wronged me, and I just I don't know how to proceed with her.

M Do you have any thoughts not on this one?

No?

Okay, well I have a little thing, but it feels too It feels moralist. But I could say it. You're like, all right, so you're the only one that was nice to this girl, and now she has reported you when you are kind of over here like, hey, I was the only one i'd like stuck up for you, and everyone's making fun of you, and now you're throwing me into the bus like that.

Is that?

It's how you're feeling.

Well because now I have to pay back all the prize money I've won, which is a couple thousand dollars.

Okay, there's a financial thing here.

Yeah, I feel like tonight I've been extremely magnanimous with my whatever insights I have, that's what a word, whatever help I can offer, I've been pretty I think it's doing the best I can have. It's been, it's been choppy waters. There's been people with real problems. There's been there's been I think I hit my wall with her, just I don't know why. I don't think your problems

Uh well, actually I don't know she now she has now she's in debt, she's probably already spent the prize money. This happens to me every stream. I usually Actually the way I do my stream is I go until I notice that I'm not paying attention.

To people anymore. I hit that moment.

Yeah, I think this is the thing that happens, says I get.

I'm like, I don't know horses. It seems like, oh, why would you get involved in horses at all? No offense, No, definitely want to come to the show.

Yeah, let them.

Free, let them turn into wild horses and get on with yourself.

Yeah maybe, Uh this this is an opportunity for you to explore new hobbies. Thank you, le well there is there anything else? WHENNA say to the people of the computer before we go, I love you guys, Love you to you man peace.

See you in London.

Yeah, see you.

How are you feeling? I'm good.

I might have to go soon.

Sure, what time is it? It's two hours?

Did it?

It's good?

I mean I genuinely love this.

I could do it.

Man.

I hope I'm not. I hope the audience does. I have no idea people could be mad for me because they truly love you. Well, now that you said that, it makes me feel like you know, they don't like it.

No, no, no, they're stoked about that. Well for I was well, no I said that, because you know, no, I.

Love you and they want you, and I feel I hope I haven't been hogging the air. Take another call, Okay, then I'll get out of here.

Okay, let's sty'll do one more.

Poor children, tell me.

If anything, tell me if anything, I.

Can't really read that my eyes are that's the other thing, lyle might get all my eyes are going.

Yeah.

I had perfect vision my whole life. And as people have said, when you hit forty you start to need glasses. And it's happening to me.

Glad, are we going to do contacts? Just like reading?

I get these like readers at Target. You know, they're just cheapies that I can that for reading and for like typing on the computer.

Do you know who mister beast is. I heard about this. He just cured a thousand blind people. Yeah, did he really though, well he paid someone else to do it, sure, like do it? Sure? Yeah? Good for him.

I don't know is it a controversy.

What I mean? I think people are like, why do you need to pay a billion dollars to get to not be sure?

But yeah, I get that. That's the that's kind of the leftist of which I am. One perspective is when you when you do these charitable things, it it's a it becomes a smoke screen for the larger injustices happening in society and these feel good stories of there's always these feel good stories that when you look into the under the under the hood a little bit, you're like, well, this is actually just reminding us how dystopian and horrible.

Yeah, we've created.

What a horrible society We've created Like those things where you've contests to win, Like there's one in England where it was a contest and the prize was that they were going to pay your gas bills or something for.

The month, and it's sort of like it comes a little to stoping. Okay, anyways, I got this. This one's uh a career y thing. There's some career advice.

He's not from New Jersey.

Is he he's from New Jersey? Do you have a thing another?

No, let's talk to him. I just, I'm I'm just I'm at my wits end with these Jersey kids. I can't do Jersey.

What is it?

Who is it?

Hello? Hello, Billy?

Hi?

What's going on? How's it going?

What are you in Jersey?

Now?

I'm enjoyed whatever the fuck that I'm enjoyed.

What swept part north south central the.

Beach ish kind of area like your.

Like point pleasantness, wild wild wood.

Around there.

Sure, Okay, you don't want to talk about where you live.

I get it. I'm familiar with. It's where all the Temple University kids would go on their summer vacation. Yeah, which is so.

Help you actually want to anyway? Yeah, having some career questions right now. I feel bad though, because Tim, if you're like tired, you know, and it's kind of like heavy topic, I can keep it light something else I don't know.

No, no, good, let me.

Let's end on a heavy note with.

Me, please, as dark as you could possibly get.

All right?

So, anyway, graduated from school in twenty twenty one and then got a job, got fired from that job, went to a therapy program to kind of like figure out what's going on with my head. And during that time, I wrote a sort like a graphic novel. I wrote a like you say, it's like a storyboard, but it's like a full length book sort of. I don't know the proper language to describe it, but it's like I wrote an actual novel, write whatever, comic book, but it's

And well, what's the how can we help?

I don't know, uh, just looking for some advice for somebody who's also like trying to uh contact agents, and you know what. To be honest with you, I don't really think I'm gonna get much help from you guys, even though you know you're involved with the industry as far as that goes.

Because you're a you're a pragmatic guy, you're a realist. Well are you proud of what you what you wrote?

Oh?

Fuck yeah, I mean I wrote a uh means a lot.

What do you think you think it's great.

I like it.

I mean I don't know if it's great.

I think what's the genre?

Uh, it's it's literary fiction. And uh it's like, actually, I can't even think of the genre because it's hard to place it. And that's like one of the first things that they say you have to do is figure out what genre your uh your book is. But it's about a guy guy about a guy who's dealing with depression, and it takes place about a year after he graduates from school trying to get his book published. He can't

Sounds great, I mean, it does, sounds compelling and from from your own personal story clearly, Uh, it's from the heart.

I feel like nowadays, the push to uh get like a traditional like whether it's a fucking TV show or a book or whatever. The days of mother, may I make this and put it out into the universe are

Yeah, yeah, I don't I know that world of graphic novels. I'm sorry I interrupt. I was just gonna say I don't know the world of graphic novels at all, so I wouldn't even know where to point you. Uh, but my sister actually writes young adult novels. Oh cool, And

That's what I've been sending it out to different literary agents, just to like see what they think as far as like representing me. And I think the one thing that holds me back from self publishing is the fact that I'm not an illustrator myself, so I can't actually draw these pages that I need to get.

Yeah, somebody else, you can hook up with someone who does exactly. Yeah, I mean you started, you you sent like fucking like tapes around to people and show right.

Yeah, but we're not we're talking about him. But yeah, can you find somebody that can draw?

I mean I found an illustrator off of What's upwork dot com. Like they do they offer uh A. They facilitate an interface between you and like other UH artists or graphic designers or anything that you really need to get done that has to be done professionally, you can get you can find somebody that can help you out on that website. And I found somebody, but the problem is that it's her work is pretty costly. So I

Well, Billy, I think I think you're on the right track with this stuff. Man. It seems like you're you're.

You know, yeah, I bet if you kept pushing at this. You could find somebody that you don't have to pay. You could just say, hey, you want to be a partner on this. You know, there's a lot of talented artists out there, and it doesn't cost like drawing is aside from pen and paper, you know, there's no costs involved. So there might be a young college kid somebody coming out of like trying to build their portfolio that would say, hey, I'll do the first ten pages of this thing, and

Mhmm, Billy, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

No, No, you guys have been great lyle I'm hoping to go to your New York show on the nineteenth. And uh, you know, Tim, I love your work. I'm not like too familiar with everything that you've done as far.

As your you could have just said you love my work.

No, I'm super because my girlfriend is like super into your work and she she watches off.

I don't think she watched He's always the boyfriend.

Checks out yourself.

So all right, cool, anyway, I have my best Thanks for calling, Billy, of course, have a good night. Thanks good night.

I'd imagine a like situation like SEMy meets Robert not to compare myself to Robert DeNiro.

Mister, I love your movies. I haven't seen all of them, you understand, Yeah, I mean you can love if someone's movie, you see one.

But you would know would say that through around here. They would be like, I love your movies. They wouldn't add like I'm not familiar with.

Well listen, Tim, Tim to me, you're a hero. I've seen it all. I fucking love you. I really appreciate you caught this is This has been a great, uh, you know, fun full circle moment for me because I've told you I've been a you know, a huge fan. So I was a fucking kid and so I really appreciate you coming.

No, I love what you're doing here. And uh, it's fun to talk. It's fun to get I love I got the gift I got. You got to get the gat gift to get.

No, but it is fun.

It's easy and fun. And if you ever want me to come back, I will not be Uh. I will not be offended if you don't want me back, but come back at whenever you want. Well, I know you've got a great audience out there. This is your baby, and congratulations, thanks Tim and the people they did they love you, and congratulations. Let's hear it for Let's hear it for you people at Homer clapping.

I believe that, then then go pee and yeah leave is you're gonna keep talking? Is there?

Well?

Is there any you you want to do your plugs again or anything else you want to say to the people?

Oh? Well, just yes, I mean I'm touring. If do you have a European audience?

Yeah, yeah we have. We have some people in Europe and in the UK. Please go see this man in the UK. If you haven't, by the way, go check out an Evening with Tim Highdecker on YouTube for a little bit of a taste of what you beginning.

It's all there on Cinema. Is the other show I do that is Uh, we're all self funded. We didn't really talk about this, but not self funded. It's subscriber funded. The High Network, the High Network. Yeah, if you've seen on cinema most people a lot of people have, but it's this thing that get it's so big and so it's like.

The Marvel Universe.

You know, there's so many components to it, but you've seen things because everything gets clipped out and posted the trial. We did the Decker on the Trial and on Cinema, but it all lives now on the High Network. It's High Network. Do TV and it's five bucks a month. And that's how we fund this. It's a you know, it's how we fund making the shows. Now it's going

And uh, that's it. I'm gonna head back to Glendale. Folks, give this man your support. I will go on a whim. I will say this. I don't know if there would be a Therapy Gecko without a Tim Hideker. This man is an inspiration to me. He's an inspiration to all the folks out here doing fun, weird stuff on the computer. So please go check out the High Network, Go subscribe, Go see this man live. E I h E I go everything he's ever, lots of things you've done on HBO Max, go check it all out.

How did I take this out?

This is a this is a I broke You're fine. You're fine, Tim Heideck.

All right, bye, everybody. It was the was a lot of fun.

Never be Ken goes on the line taking of his own calls every night.

Never be Ken goes doing his eye.

He's teaching you loud in the lid of your life. Money's not really an expert.