Hello, Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, Taylor, you texted me and you said give me a ring. I need some help after visiting a certain store in Akihabara. For those who do not know, aki Abara is known as the Eccentric let's call it the Eccentric anime pop culture neighborhood of Tokyo, Japan. Are you currently in Tokyo, Japan?
Yeah, man, I'm I'm staying in in Shinjugu right now.
Oh cool, I'm also in Japan at this very moment.
Oh cool, man, very nice.
Yeah.
Are you liking it?
It's it's it's awesome. Tokyo is a great, great town. I'm doing a show here at the Tokyo Comedy Bar in a week. Come through. That'll be fun. I don't know if you're still.
No.
I leave on Wednesday, but I'm sure it will be a good time.
That's I love. I love it's funny. There's something funny about just like I feel like I'm going door to door asking whoever is in Tokyo if they want to come to the show. Nah, it'll be a good time. Okay, what store did you go to?
Dude? I don't know.
I went to this one with like this green sign. It's like kind of off the main road, and they're like they like set you up, and they have these like anime girl like.
Post like like face cards you can kind of like go in and like and so me and my buddy, you know, we took a flick in the front and we like walked in the store thinking it was like one of those uh, like you know, regular anime stories that sell like merch. Turns out it's like an eight story like sex store, okay, And there's just like salary men like everywhere, like on every floor, and everyone's super
casual about it, you know. And so you're kind of like fucking around and they have this like gotcha machine in the front and so like obviously, you know, I turn it because I'm fucking wore for gotcha machines, okay, And turning out it was like a pocket pussy, right.
Hold on?
What lets listen, listen, listen. What what's the problem here?
Man?
What do you need help with? This is? This is all we're getting.
We're getting there.
Okay, all right, we're getting there. We're getting Where was your was your corrupted at the eight? How old are you?
I'm twenty three.
You're twenty three, Okay, you know you know what a pocket pussy is.
Of course, of course, Well okay, but okay, little egg.
Have you ever It's okay if you have. You also have you ever used one of the homemade ones. I feel like I've talked about this at least three times on the podcast.
No, bro, No, I haven't a dead ass, I haven't. I just really love pringles and stealing its stealing sponges and.
Go ahead.
Yeah. Uh so it's like shaped like an egg. It's like, you know, I'm on like a trip with like my a bunch of my buddies, and so you know, obviously I like I open it up, but I forguret what it is. I take one of my secret showers and I'm like, fuck, this is pretty good, you know. And so I went back the next day and I got another one, and like, like, I got an actual one, and like I've jerked like all my buddies, but I've jerked off like five times today, dude, Like these things are really good.
So what's the problem.
And I don't know the problem is I can't stop jerking it, and we has a rash, like a like irritation.
Listen, you bought a product that was meant to to increase the enjoyment of your masturbation sessions. I think, why are you disappointed in yourself? There's a break.
You're You're so You're My name's Taylor.
Taylor, Taylor. There's an eight story building. There's multiple of them. There's building not eight stories maybe, but all over the world there are these shops that are dedicated to creating products to increase the people's sexual enjoyment of the time spent either by themselves or with others. You're You're not the only what what are you ashamed of? This is a classic thing, Like I just what are you ashamed of?
You know? This is good. It's like if you told me it's like it's like it's like, no, no, It's like if you told me that you bought a DVD player and now you're you You've watched five movies on your new DVD player, I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
This is like, dude, the analogy that this is like, oh, I bought I'm buying some booze that I drink every day, like, and I love taking fourteen shots today and you're telling me Oh that's great, dude, keep doing it.
Like, come on, now, this is different. It's a little different. Okay, so you did this all, by the way, Also, you're gonna get bored too, like what you jerked off five times with this thing?
No, dude, that's I think I'm jerking off because I am bored. But I don't know why I'm bored because I'm in fucking Tokyo Oka.
Well okay, actually, I actually, actually, now I think about it, the worst part of this is that, uh, how long I'm in a.
Bored dude, I've been. I've been here fucking fucking about a week. I'm here till Wednesday, and I'm like, I just like because my buddies are all they all last, because like I'm staying longer, and I'm like, wow, I really just spent all the time fucking chirking my dick in my hotel.
Look, oh, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Okay, it's your first time in Tokyo.
Yeah, dude, it's my first times America, and I spent one of my days with the pocket.
Is your fra Okay, since your is your first trip out of the side of America, oh yeah, and okay, the day that you spent with the pocket pussy. Uh what number day was that?
Was that?
Your fourth day? First day, second day? Third day?
This is uh, this is day number eight?
Oh, day number eight?
Is it cool after? Is it? Is it cool after a certain point?
Like, of course it's.
Cool, It's totally. If you've been in Tokyo for eight days, okay, whatever you saw the stupid cherry blossoms, you walked around, you had some ramen, you had your little adventure, you you saw the sites, you took the pictures, you did the whole Yeah, spend the day jerking off. It's okay. It's fine if this if it was like your like second day or something, and you spent the whole day
inside jerking off. Honestly, second day, if it was your second day, you spent the whole day inside jerking off, I'd be like, you got you got like what ten more days? You got your You know, it's okay, listen, eight days.
What you're telling me what I want to but what I what I want to hear?
You've been there for eight days already, have a break to jerk off? What if you know, neighbor, have you you've done all this stuff, efone else is there to do?
Man?
Yeah, I guess we're getting it done. I mean do Fuji. I guess I could go to Mount Fuji then jerk off some more.
Go to go to Mount Fuji, go to climb to the top and jerk off there. That's just that's a real story. That's a real thing you can do.
No, that's a good That might be a good one. All right, maybe that maybe I'll do that.
Mm hmm.
Yeah, you're okay, man, don't worry about yourself.
Appreciate it, bro.
Honestly, it's honestly more of a waste of time that you called me then that you spent five hours drinking off with this thing.
Well, you know, honestly, I was about to go to bed and I saw the phone ring, and I was like, no way, I've been tucking watching these guys clubs for years. I'm so happy you can help me with like a real thing that's actually happened. You know. I feel like a lot of people probably come on this and like make some ship up, but like, no, I jerked off five times today.
You're saying it like like it's an incredible, rare, unique thing. That you couldn't making up.
No, dude, I got to talk I got it. I got to talk to the therapy geto about the pocket pussy I bought in Tokyo.
You bought this, you got this. You bought this pockat pussy from a gotcha pon machine?
No, no, no, that was the first one. That's what introduced me to it, and then I got then I like bought a real one.
Same store, good store.
I mean, it's it's it's kind of a trip, like cause I feel like a lot of a a lot of Japan's kind of like super like, you know, super modest, maybe like more outside of Tokyo, but like you go into sex storms just like just fucking tons of dudes and suits right off of work, and they're all just like fucking looking at porn pocket pussies. It's super casual and like no one's even batting an eye at it, which is like, no, I've.
Been to me, I've been. I've been to this story that you're talking about.
There's one with a green sign, right, I don't. I think there's a couple of them though.
That's the thing. There's a couple of them, so I don't know if I've been too this specific one. Did you see the okay, if you think that gotcha upon? Did you see the period blood panties gotch upon machine?
No, but I saw panties gotcha gotcha machine?
Did they all have the panties gotchash But there was one that is like that really that really freaked me out. Ill I don't know if it freaked me out because I saw it and I was like, there's no way that these are like like like the gut like it says like real, Yeah, there's there's no way. It's yeah, it's got to be like yeah, food coloring or whatever the.
Yeah. I don't Yeah, I don't only buy that, I mean, but like also they're pretty They're obviously pretty good at like recreating things because they have like they have like all those like scent smells, but it's like like women's armpit and it's like, I don't know who really wants that, but I guess they know what a woman's armpit smells like, like at least a certain persons, and they start selling it. So I don't know, they're pretty good at creating this ship.
I guess they wait, they created the artificial smell of a woman's armpit.
Of a woman's arm pit. Yeah, they have like what was the product, Like, it's like a perfume. It's like a spray. They like have it at the sex store.
There's a perfume that you can spray that smells like a woman's arm pit.
Yeah, if you're I mean, if you're into that obviously interesting. Yeah, I got a lot of cool stuff here, man. You know, there's something for everyone.
Yeah.
They also have sushi.
Oh yeah, I went to a revolving sushi bar last night. That was pretty lit. That was my second time going. Very cool.
What do you have planned for the rest of the trip?
Uh? You I don't know. I'm kind of just gonna play.
Yeah, well I'm gonna try not to as much because you know, I'm gonna look at it more now from the I only have three days left, so i'll probably uh you know, rip.
The bullet train up the Fuji tomorrow hopefully something just so you know.
Just before we leave, if you do, just I just want you to do this for me. If you do end up spending your next three days inside the hotel room jerking off, don't like if that's what you do, right, Like protect I don't think you should do that. I think you should go to Mount Fuji instead and like do the real stuff. But if that's what you end up doing, just embrace it. Don't fight it, because if you fight, because spend. Because here's the thing, it's how you look at it.
Right.
If you said to me, I went to Japan and I bought this all great pocket pussy, and I had an amazing experience in Japan sitting in a in my hotel room jerking off uh for three days straight, and you really like sold it as like it was a great It's like it was like something like like it was like an Airbnb experience that you intended.
That's also probably.
Yeah, if you if yeah, it's authentic. I mean that's what the locals do, is they jerk off. That's the local experience anyway. Yeah, So if you did it and then you really sold it as like I went to Japan, I had the local experience of buying a pocket pussy from this place where where you said the Japanese salarymen are, this is where the locals go to buy their pocket pussy.
I bought the local pocket pussy, and I and I and I did what as the locals do everywhere in the world, which is to sit at home and jerk off. And you were like you really kind of sold it as like I went and had an authentic experience. That's what you should do just if you cause So if you do it, do that and don't be like, oh I spent this, don't make it like it was a bummer,
you know what I mean. Like when you tell people about yeah, like really sell it, like like make them think that you are had a great time doing that and also have a good time. If that's what you're gonna do.
Well, I think that's also just like good Yeah, No, that's just good advice in general, because I think I'm more of a pessimist and I think like reframing things is something I need to get better at, you know, just like general, like the other aspects of my life. But I like that. You know, I'm gonna I'm not saying I will, but if I do, I'm gonna be very happy that I jerked off some more in Japan, you know.
Yeah, if you do it, just you know, embrace it, all right, Taylor, Yeah, yeah, is there anything else you want to say? It to the people of the computer before we go.
You know, I guess don't. Don't be ashamed of touching your guys.
But you didn't really, you just you touched it with the pocket pust You don't even tell.
Yeah, yeah, I don't be afraid of using a box pusy. I guess I don't know. They're pretty good. Go try one fucking great, great, great experience. Okay, all right, dude, thank you, appreciate you, all.
Right, see you later. Man Sionaro, he's out man, see
yea Sionara bro Cyonara Broski. I really do believe that, you know, if you want to have a people get so hung up about like having like local experiences, and like, you know, they're like, oh, I don't want to do the touristy thing when I go to the place, right, If you really, when you're traveling and any for Europe or Asia or America, if you really want to have the local experience and you don't want to do the touristy stuff, just go hall do what this guy did.
Go to the gas station, get a snack, and then go home and jerkle. That's what most people are doing in most places. So if you want to have a local experience, that's what you should do.
Hello. Hello, is this Lyle?
Yeah? Who is this?
Fuck? What the fuck are you live?
I mean, I'm I'm live enough. What's your name?
My name's Eric? Eric?
Well? Well, well Eric, Eric, Eric like Eric Adams, the mayor of New York, or he was the mayor of New York. Now he's not.
Yeah.
Eric Cartman, Eric Cartman, popular character from the beloved South Park cartoon Eric Astro. That's the name of a guy I went to high school with. Old friend of mine. Shout out Eric, if you're listening, let's keep going. Eric from that seventies show, Eric, the architect of Flatbush Zombies. He was on the show a few years ago. Shout out, Eric, Uh, you want to throw one in there? Throw one in there? Do it?
I think you got them all.
No, throw one in there. Come on, don't be shy. Anyone doesn't matter. Their name, doesn't even have to be Eric. Just to throw anyone in there. Name anyone, Just name someone. Come on, it's easy.
I'm kind of nervous. I'm drawing a blank.
Don't come on, anyone, anyone, there's no wrong answers. Name you can name someone that doesn't exist. How about this all right, I'll do too. All right, I'll do two more. I'll do two more. Bill Clinton, you don't have anyone sure, everything counts, no rules. Who cares about anything?
Myself?
Yes, yes you can, Yes, you absolutely can. Perfect all rhad perfect.
All right.
You're Eric yourself, You're a person, You're alive.
Eric.
What did you want to call me today?
Uh? I guess I've been listening to your show for a while, like a few years. I've always wanted a call. But I don't know. I guess I've just I never really thought like i'd be one of those people that does the thing, you know, I guess, Okay, But here I am.
Okay. What's who are you?
Eric?
What's your life like?
My life's kind of weird, I guess, uh weird. Well, I guess I've kind of been going on somewhat of a roller coaster of relationships the past couple of years. Been kind of a wild ride. Not gonna lie.
Hmmmmm, one single relationship or these or did you say multiple relationships?
More than one? I guess I last year got out of a seven year relationship that was kind of that was kind of rough, But I guess I kind of knew deep down that you know, it wasn't really gonna be like for the long haul, and like after that long it's kind of like, you know, you got to make a decision. So I guess the decision was made.
And what led you to the decision that you made.
I guess we like, I guess he was a really great guy, but it just kind of ended up being like we were never really super intimate. And like I said, he was a really great guy, but I guess I needed something more. We ended up opening up our relationship and then I met someone else, or I guess we did. We both did. And yeah, this is why I say, kind of a crazy roller coaster because things developed and I guess we ended up breaking up and then I ended up getting with the person.
So you got the you got the third boyfriend in the divorce.
I mean, I guess this person wasn't really the third boyfriend because it was actually a couple.
Oh okay, this You know what Sometimes people show up here and they're like, oh, life's been a roller coaster and whatnot. But I believe you that things have been a roller coaster. This is fascinating. Okay, So you and your boyfriend opened up the relationship and you guys get with a couple.
Yeah, yeah, we we suked up with a couple.
You hooked up with a couple. But then you're and then how okay, so how tell me about how it went from you and your boyfriend like basically swinging with this couple too. Then you are you? So are you walking away with the couple? Are you in a polycule now or are you just with one of the people?
So not not a polycule. But I guess I became their third Oh yeah.
Okay, so this is more like you guys became you guys were swinging, so you became a quad and then your boyfriend left and now it's a tricycle.
No that that that's not exactly the sequence of events.
Okay, I.
Guess we we broke up. It was a really kind of messy situation, but actually ended up happening. Was one of the guys in the couple. Uh I guess my my my ex like kind of started like falling for like I could like tell like that, like when we went out and did stuff that should hang out. My brother's getting home, I'm gonna go to my car.
Uh well a second, yeah, this is a good get your car to talk about situation, right, So he ended up like, kind, I've.
Talked to a lot of people about this ship like in my life, and yeah, it's pretty it's a pretty interesting situation to stay the least. But so yeah, I my ex ended up kind of falling in love with this guy. And I could tell, like he wouldn't say so much, but I could tell, like we would go out and we'd do stuff, like we went to this kind of like an arcade. It's called Round One. They have a bunch of crane machines.
Huh, I said, I know, Round one. Isn't that a jepands?
Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking cute as shit. It's like they got crane machines with like all these like super cute plushies.
Do they have them in those things?
Yeah? I mean I'm in America too, Like I live in Uh. I don't know how much I should fucking reveal about myself, but uh I I live in one of the safety states. Yeah. Anyways, uh so, uh like the guy, like the guy, the one of the guys in the couple. He won me a like stuffed animal and one of the crane machines and my ex like got kind of jealous and like snatched it from me, like we took a picture and like he held the
plushy in the picture. H stuff like that. Like, but the thing that really kind of was like the nail in the coffin was eventually and like we're all bears, so like, you know, we snore and fucking have seatpat machines or I guess one of us.
Did Wait, you all have machines?
No, no, no, I was gonna say, what, we all snore, but like one of us has a seat pat machine. Yeah, the I guess the guy in question has a seat pat machine. But anyways, uh, like so like my partner, my ex, he did not have a seatpat machine. He would snore and like he'd sometimes talk in his sleep, and he started saying this guy's name in his sleep, and it kind of got to the point where he was saying it like every night, and like I couldn't sleep in the same bed as him, and he would
deny it. And it's really heartbreaking because like you know, like I could tell he kind of didn't want to like like he still like wanted to be with me, like at least that's what he was saying I kind of found out towards the end of that relationship that there was a lot of stuff that he, like he would say, but I wouldn't really know if it was true or not, you know, like our whole intimacy issue thing.
Like I think he just didn't really like I mean, I know there's people out there like and like, I guess, excuse me if I get vulgar, but you know, like there's people out there that like have different preferences, like I know, fucking like DJ Khali doesn't eat pussy, you know, so it's like there's like, you know, different shit out there. But like that that was the main problem for me because it didn't ever really seem like he was like into that at least like doing it to me, you know.
So yeah, like there was a lot of stuff about that relationship that I feel like it was just kind of like brushed under the rug because like he wanted to be like he like towards the end, we ended up getting a dog, and like again, we were together for like seven fucking years, so like those those were I guess some of the last attempts to kind of like keep us, you know together, and that shit was really heartbreaking too, Like I fucking missed that dog man,
like fuck. But anyways, I guess back to like what I was saying, So when that ended up happening, we broke up, Like when the sleep talking thing ended up happening, and he was trying to get a sea pat machine because that would have helped with that. He would have like you know, probably not talked as much into sleep, you know, but that wouldn't have solved the problem, you know, that wouldn't have Like I still kind of knew what I knew, and I kind of had to like figure
out what I wanted to do. So we ended up breaking up. And I did end up getting with this couple, and things were great at first. They were also so open. We started out kind of I guess, like you know, like being together, but like also like you know, like having other people come in. And I guess like I was only really used to like you know, close relationship like you know, like kind of like intimate type situations, and like, so we dated a total of six months.
We did break up. We actually broke up a week ago. But yeah, like it kind of got overwhelming for me, Like it got to the point where, like you know, not all the people that we would have over, like you know, it's like there's three of us, so it's like it's hard to find somebody that's like good for like all three of us. I guess in the couple, one of the one of the guys he likes kind of like twinks and like me and the other guy
like we like bears. So there's like some conflict of interest there, you know, like we're not always gonna like find the right peace, you know. But yeah, it got to the point where I was kind of like, I guess I was like, you know, like I kind of just want to spend time with like you guys, you know, like I don't really want to like invite you know, some fucking person over to do stuff with their hang out with and then do stuff with or whatever.
You know.
Like they were respecting it at first, like they're like, okay, like we'll take some time. There was one thing that really fucked shuit up for me, though. I kind of asked a question that I probably should not have asked because, like I said, I was, I was really getting in my feels for these guys, and I guess I still kind of am. We're broken up, but I actually just got back from their place to my brother's apartment where I'm currently staying.
Wait, you're broken up, but he just got back from there. I have so many questions for you about the situation. You're broken up, but you just got back from their place.
Yeah, yeah, it's not healthy.
So did you leave something there or what were you doing?
I was, I was seeing them, We were seeing each other. There's there's still feelings there. We still care about each other, and we still you.
Guys, ever do like a human centipede type of thing.
We've We've done some stuff. Honestly, they're the ones kind of exposing me to this because like this was new to me. Kind of that's, you know, why things kind of didn't work out or I don't know, I don't know if I kind of hope, like I I guess, like we lived together for six months, Like I lived in their house and they were always around, and I mean it's like I after we broke up, like I kind of like put all the cards on the table, I was just like fuck, like you know, like I
really want to get back together. Like I miss you guys. I miss just being able to talk to you guys, about anything and everything. But yeah, like so we're still seeing each other, but yeah, we broke up. And the reason we broke up is because, like I said, I ended up asking this question that was really fucking stupid of me, because I mean, when we met, we were open.
Yeah I'm about to say, like when we met, we were open, Like you know, I was open with my ex and they were open, and like when we got together, we were open. In the middle of the relationship, I got the fucking inkling that asked this question that if it came between being open and being with me, which one would they pick? And they kind of told me in not so many words, that they would pick being open.
Okay, why is it so horrible that you asked that question? You kind of you basically hinted at like closing the open relationship.
I yeah, I'm realizing that now. I never really like because like I'm a very agreeable guy, Like I don't want to make it anybuddy do anything they don't want
to do. I don't want to like force like That's why I guess I kind of asked it like that, you know, because it was just kind of testing the waters, you know, I kind of just wanted them to say they would pick me, and like I kind of knew, you know, but like it was mostly a thing of just like I just wanted to feel like I just wanted to know my place in this fucking situation.
You know you were you were kind of asking a question you knew the answer to.
Yeah, I kind of did know the answer to it. I mean, we had been doing stuff. You know. They they have like a they have like a fucking network of like friends, you know that they know in that way. I don't. Like That's something I've been struggling with, Like I've been trying, especially now that I'm single too, like you know, like I'm I'm on the fucking apps, like I'm on fucking I know, that's probably different frustraight people.
Like the way that you said, uh you said, it's a network.
It is. It is like they have friends. We even had mutual friends, like when I I had met people when I was single that they like that they are now friends with and that they like. It isn't that. I mean, it's like the gay communities and network of people. I mean, it's like you know, like you know, but so yeah, I asked that question and that was the start of like all of the problems after that question.
I guess it kind of I guess they kind of felt like it fell on them to kind of prove to me that like I am important, you know, and I would just kind of keep like not like needing more, but like kind of like I would express that it would make me more comfortable, you know, like if we like kind of like didn't like do stuff with other people.
But like all of these friends that they had were like you know, like people that you know, they hooked up with, so like we would like in order for us to hang out with people, like it was like the door was always kind of open, and they didn't want to like tell these people either, you know that Like I didn't want to, Like it was like nobody wants like, you know, any anyone's feelings to get hurt
or upset or whatever the fuck. So it just kind of ended up being this like disaster of like these situations where like things would kind of like sort of seem to start happening and then like I would kind of shut down, like because I knew it was what they wanted, but I didn't really want to do that. I just wanted to do stuff with them, you know, and like I said, it's just what I'm used to, Like I just got to have of a fucking seven year close relationship, you know. And I mean, I guess
I won't lie. Like it was open, Like there was a time in the beginning kind of when it was open, because we've always had those intimacy issues me like X, But like there was a time in the beginning where it was open, and then there was a time at the end where it was open. And nothing really happened in the beginning part, but like at the end part, that was when we started, like when I started kind of like you know, doing stuff and making moves. But anyway,
so all that shit happened. It kind of just kept kept getting worse, like we kept fighting, and then like last Saturday, I guess it was. It was started on like I think it was like Thursday. We got into an argument about it. We were like talking about closing it. I knew that the time was coming or sorry, opening it. I knew that the time was coming where we were going to open it because we kind of temporarily closed it, and so like I was kind of like throwing the towel.
I very much had the attitude of kind of like who gives a shit, you know, like they just kind of like want this and like you know it's gonna happen like regardless. And like I think that that attitude kind of like permeated everything, and like you know, like it started getting a point where they're getting angry. And so, yeah, we had a fight on Thursday last week, and then Saturday came around and there's like an event that we
go to at this club. It's like a gear event, so you know, people were like, you know, harnesses and you know, like you know, the gear and shit, and like I guess it has stems. And so the theme for last week it was construction workers. And so like when I got home from work, I noticed like that they like had both bought vests like to go out. They hadn't bought me one, So that already was kind of like what's going on.
Oh no, they didn't buy you a They were going to the they were going to the swingers event without you.
Yeah, I mean well they they had told me, like I guess, so the game Poco Pia had just come out, and they're like, oh, you probably like you just got that game. You probably want to play that or whatever, and.
But that they were like, you gotta you should stay home and play the new video game you bought.
Yeah, goddamn, well it's I mean, I guess in their defense, like whenever we went out, you know, like stuff would happen and like I would just kind of like, you know, get a little bummed because like I, you know, like they we meet somebody and then like like I'm honestly new to going out to clubs, like I never did that in my past relationship, and like I kind of like was hoping that they would kind of like hold
my hand a little bit through the process. I don't know, like I kept telling them I thought things would be different, you know, like I thought when we went out that like you know, like if we were gonna like flirt or you know, talk to people, that we would do it together. That like I don't know, like it just got to the point where like like we would talk to people and like you know, like they would be like super into the conversation and like I would just
kind of feel like a wallflower. I guess. So, like, but yeah, that was I guess the reason for that. I guess, like right now, we're kind of trying to like see if like we can like get back to that point. But like this past week, they've been hooking up with people. I've been hooking up with people, and they don't want to talk to me about it, I guess because it's just think I'm too sensitive about it. Like I tell them, like, you know, I'll talk about
it with you guys. I'm used to talking about everything with you guys, you know, but like they don't want to talk to me about it, and so I don't want it to be one side it. So I'm just like, Okay, I guess we're not talking about these things.
But so so, so are you are you like equally in love with both of these guys or are you like, is you like one over the other or they kind of function as a unit to you.
So I mean I can say that I do love both of them, like we have. I mean, at least they they have sex with me, like both of them, And in the in the last six months, like like we would have sex like every fucking night, you know, like it was fucking beautiful, Like I was really happy.
I Mean, there were things that obviously were bothering me, but like I always would tell myself, like the pros that way to comms, you know, because like that's something that I wasn't getting in my last relationship like at all, you know, So I don't know, I kind of justified it in my head that way, but like I said, things just kind of got to the point where it was just like you know, and so yeah, I guess, like going back to that the argument, like, yeah, I mean,
I guess there's not really much more to say about that. I don't I don't think that I don't know if they're ever gonna listen to this. I don't want to, like I don't want to should talk to them too much because I still love them and I think they still love me. I mean they said that, but I don't know. But yeah, basically something horrible like I said something, I said something disrespectful and because they were basically throwing me out, they were.
Like what did you What disrespectful thing did you say?
I don't want to say to be honest, because it like I don't like it really hurt the one of the guys and like it's not really important, Like it was something that I said that was just mean because like he was basically screaming at me at that point, like he was like, if you're not happy, then like get your ship and leave. And I just, you know, I said something disrespectful.
So Eric, so, so where are you at now? Are you single? Are you in a different pollocule? Where are you at now?
I mean it's I'm single. I guess they're they're still together, but I guess they're open. I think that they told me yesterday when I came over that they still want things to work with us. So I mean that made me happy, you.
Know, So what do you wait?
So Eric?
So, so what do you what do you want? Like do you want to be and do you want like a forever boyfriend type of deal? Do you want to be? In a pollocule? Like what do you what do you want?
Man? I don't fucking know, Like I don't know what I'm doing here in life, Like I'm just fucking here, Like I I want to have what we had, like it was beautiful, Like I just when we broke up, like I realized, like I don't give a shit like about that, you know, like that they want to hook up with other people, like as long as I can still have like what we had, like I don't care at least for right now.
Do you feel like that? But do you feel like, I mean, these guys they went to a construction worker party and and threw a Pokemon game at you and said, go play with that. You know, do you feel like they they fuck with you in the way that you fuck with them, because that's important.
I don't know. I mean I think so, like I lived with them for six months, Like they gave me a key to their house. Like I slept in their bed every single night. You know, we had sex every single night. I don't fucking know, like I've never had that before, you know, Like I don't know, Like I just I miss it, you know, I miss like talking to them about like everything, like you know, my fears, my goals, my dreams, Like I just I fuck, I'm
I'm fucking like just yearning for that again. Like I don't know, I don't know what I want, you know, Like obviously I'm very used to something different, you know.
Okay, let me ask you, let me ask him. And maybe I'm being assumptive here, but and actually you can educate me if about this. It seems to me that like what is it true that in the gay community, all right, Like you're a bear, right, Like are there not? Are there not? Like like an infinite number of like other guys out there that are like a swipe away that you could go and connect with.
That's what I've That's what I've been doing. But like I'm i still fucking miss them, Like there's like that. That's what I told them too through textas past week, Like you know, like I've been trying to distract myself and like it feels good in the moment, but like after I'm like back in my feelings again.
You know, hmm, you haven't developed feelings for anyone else that you've met on any of the h your your event, your grinder, vet life.
It's only been a week, give it more?
How many? How many? How many of these guys in a week? How many more dudes in a week?
I mean I've I've met like three or four people, dude in one week. I'm fucking hurting, man.
I'm no, no, no, no, I'm not saying that. No no, I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing. I'm saying that and like I'm amazed by that way. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Four dudes in one week. Dude, you know.
Is very sexually repressed.
That that's exciting, that's very exciting. Bro give it some time. Give it some time, man. I mean if you're meaning four, if you're able to get four dates a week, you know, like of course, but you know what, listen, sex dates, whatever, you're you're meeting new people. You're meeting new people. Let's call it that. We can say that with confidence. You're meeting new people. Okay, whether you're meeting them over dinner or over you know, them blowing you, it's it's you're
meeting them. That could be the date, you know, that's okay, But you're still you're meeting all these new people. And I think that over time you kind of probably have tricked yourself into believing that this is the only connection that you will have for a long time. But it sounds to me like you're having no problem putting yourself out there meeting new people. And so I'm sure that by natural way of you living your life, you will
find new connections. It might take a very long time, and it might still it'll still be difficult, but I believe that you have no problem putting yourself out there and so you should totally have the faith that you will find new connections out in the world and not. And you know, you don't want to settle for these guys. And I listen, these guys. I don't know, man, I don't know anything about these guys. I've never met him. I'm only know what you but it sounds like they're
not you know, they they really didn't choose you. You know, they really didn't choose you. And you don't want to be with people who aren't choosing.
You, you know, Yeah, I mean I feel like they did, but in their own way. Like it's just like I don't know, like I get what you're saying. I do like and like, you know, but it's like it's like one of those things where it's like I don't like I could hold out for like I guess like something like like perfect perfect, but like I like, this was hold on what do you mean?
But no, it wasn't What do you mean perfect?
I mean it was perfect.
They did, but dude, they they they but it's not perfect.
They wanted an open thing and you did not. That's a very It's not like, dude, it's not like it's not like it's like they're snoring and you're like, well, it's like, well it's not perfect, you know, but it's like this is that's a big thing, whether or not they want to not only not only that, but also the fact that they they didn't even want you to like really be a part of there, because also like they're a couple right like there, they seem to be
a unit of each other. All right, who knows what's going on in their dynamic, but they seemed like they they weren't keen to add you. And I'm sorry for the tough you know love here, but listen, you uh, they didn't they didn't want to add you into the couple. You were a member of the swing.
It was like a vote kind of and like it was two against one. You know, I was the boyfriend. I mean, they were the two. I was the one. I was the one.
So they did so listen, man, they they didn't let you join their polycule. And it's listen, here's the thing least I'm gonna start. I'm gonna dude, But dude, these guys and look you you know these guys whatever, you've been in the bed with them and had the feelings
and been there. But like, dude, these two guys, like they have their couple things going on, right, and they have their adventures where they go to the construction worker sex party ship, right, and and you you it sounds a little like you were, you know, part of their adventure and part of their thing. But you're not. You're not in the main club. And it might not and listen and listen, you're not but you're not the main club.
But it's not. It's just evithing. You shouldn't take it as a personal reflection of who you are, right, You're just not in the main club. And so there might not be enough room in the main club. It might there might only in most of these fucking things, like there's only room for two in the club. And so for them it might be like, listen, we want to be in a couple like we're we love we we have enough bandwidth for each other. And then perifer people
on the peripheral to be in the club. It sounds like you want it to be in like a whole ass polecule. But they were kind of keeping you on the erpherl and you know that that is what it is, what it is, but like it just sounds like they don't have the bandwidth, and like you could sit there and like be on the peripheral of their club. But it's just not it's this, this situation is just not working for you, man, and you know it's not working
for you. So just like whatever, like you can. You can keep fucking these guys if you want, that's fine, but like, keep fucking these guys. But like, but the things are open, man, So like keep sucking these guys, but stay on grinders, stay on field, stay on all the apps, and like keep meeting people. Keep putting yourself out there. And who fucking you don't know you have met all the all the all the gay guys in whatever fucking state you live in. Yeah, so you don't know.
You don't know what the fuck is out there. So listen, man, just keep putting yourself out there. If you really want to keep sucking these guys, then then fuck these guys as much as you want. Who cares? And uh, But in the meantime, keep put yourself out there and try to make yourself emotionally available to you know, other people that may or may not come into your orbit, you know,
but like don't but don't don't. But these guys, but like, don't fucking sit here and like wait for these dudes who didn't like who who who you know didn't want you to come with them to the to the orgy. You know, that's what you want, someone who wants you. You want someone who wants you with them at the orgy.
Okay, So it's all so if you really want things had gone, like if you like, the thing is Like what I was trying to explain was that like I'm getting used to this new kind of like like living like this, you know, like it's something I'm like, I'm only used to this context being single, you know, Like I'm only used to like random random people hooking up,
like being like a single person. I wasn't used to it in a relationship when I have feelings for somebody, and it's something that I kind of like trying to adjust. I do want to keep an open mind. I I guess it scares me that they might be wanting to keep an open mind because like I do love them, you know, but I get what you're saying. I do, And like I've talked to this, like to like everybody like in my direct life, and like they've told me
the same thing. You know, they've told me like like it's different, you know, like it's it's different, Like it's awkward. It was awkward telling people like you know, like I have two boyfriends.
Yeah like that. Yeah, yeah, but that's not that's not what we're talking. We're not talking. But that's not what we're talking about. You know, that's not where they were. We're talking. We're not talking about how weird. We're not talking about like the weirdness or not of the polycule. We're just talking about like kind of normal relationship dynamics in the context of this abnormal relationship that you have
found yourself in. So like listen, if this was one guy, right and the guy on the one dude didn't want to be in a relationship with you, but I want to do all this. It's just like a weird thing that it's just like not the thing to be holding out for, whether or not it's one guy or two guys. You know, they don't want you in the relationships, So like, don't fucking uh uh like hold out, don't keep holding out,
just like go live it, Go live your life. Eric, you know, so Eric, listen, just because we're talking in circles here.
No making recay, it's valid, you know, like, okay, I deserve Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just I'm hitting my dude.
I'm crying.
No, I feel like I'm crying. No, I'm not crying. Man, I'm good. I'm good. I have been going through a lot of emotions this last week, but I'm not crying right now. I'm like, it's been good, like it was. I didn't even know if they wanted to see me. I didn't even know if they wanted to still make things work. That was something that they said yesterday, and I was like, well, ship, Like, so do.
I know, Eric, I'm gonna I'll let I'll let this be uh the final thing before we get out of here.
But like, just just to reiterate, listen, if you want to keep sucking these guys, keep sucking these guys, but don't stop sucking other guys, you know, because they're fucking other guys, so you should fuck other guys and you know whatever, like fuck all the guys you want, and then you know, eventually the journey of fucking all the guys you want and being and living the full, unapology, unapologetic life of Eric, I think will lead you to
whatever it is that you do truly want. So that's my two cents.
Eric. You know that that I know. I know, that's like what I should do, and it's what I've been doing. I guess it's obviously it's still very fresh, but it's what I've been doing. Yeah you uh, I guess, yeah, hello.
Yeah, go ahead.
There was something that I wanted to ask you. I didn't know if I would ever like call crazy because I guess this is fake because I I didn't call more than once. I just called once and then you know, I got on. But I guess, like I'm sure you probably I don't know if you play Pokemon or not, but I guess I have a shiny treaco I would love to give to you.
I that's very very sweet of you, but I have no way to take your shiny treaco. I'm not a Pokemon guy. I don't like did Pokemon without like I don't. Pokemon is like an RP turn based like part like it's I know, it's like the most popular thing ever, but I'm not like that big into number ye turn based RPGs. But the Poketopia ship that it does look kind of cool, but it's it's not something I would ever really play or get into. I'm not a big
Pokemon dude. I don't even know. Like I look back at uh when I was a kid, and I'm like, how the fuck did I play this? Like it doesn't it's it's kind of complicated for like a like a kid. You know that I love the numbers.
It has something for kids, but it's also like something like that's the ship that keeps it interesting, like you know, like when you get older.
You know, Eric, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Oh, man, I have no idea. I guess, Uh, gay bears out there listening.
I'm single, dude, all of the gay bears listening, please go fuck this guy. I endorse fucking this guy who is on the phone as if you're a gay bear. I endorse making a uh comment on the Spotify comments and saying hey, here's my email address. If you're Eric and you're listening, you know, feel free to message me and we'll have sex. I endorse that happening for you.
Thank you for your endorsement.
Thank you, Eric. Having the rest of the night you too.
By Eric by boy, and.
Hey, maybe after maybe after you and Eric have sex, he can give you that shiny treaco. Hello. Hi, Hello, what's your name?
My name's Denma.
What's up? House life.
So crazy? I saw your little posting and I woke straight up asleep. I was like, in a stand call Ceci.
So you were asleep just now?
Yeah?
I was.
I was out and I woke up, went on Instagram. Sorry little post. I was like, let's try because I haven't actually tried to call you, but I have been listening to your podcast for a really long time.
Oh fuck, yah, thank you Bella. Well, now that we're connected, Uh, was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about today?
Well?
I feel like the only interesting thing to talk about was that I work with rats.
You work with rats? Do you?
Do? You?
But?
Did?
No?
Do you buy chance? Work in an arcade that serves pizza?
No? I don't. They're not cute rats like those.
Oh do you buy chance? Work in a lab that tests various U medical slash cosmetic products?
No, because then they'd still be pretty rats. Right?
Oh? No, okay, what kind of rats are you working with here?
So think of like a rat farm, a rat like yeah, like a So it's like a facility where we grow up the rats from pinkies which are babies, and then mice and then whit no, I lied fuzzies, and then wean and then small and then medium and then medium large and then large and then mammoth and then colossal. So they all go to like they're for reptile feeders and stuff, and then some people buy them for pets.
Oh, so you breed them to be eaten by snakes.
Snakes and cota mundies and whatever other stuff people have to feed them too.
Does it ever? Do you ever feel bad for the rats because you know that you're birthing them for the sole purpose of being eaten as food.
No, not really, because they're like so they're like super emotional creatures, which I guess in theories you say that, Yeah, maybe I'm maybe I feel a little bad about it, but they're super They get treated with a lot of respect before they gotta go, so it's not like we're torturing them. So it's like they don't know what's coming. So maybe it's a bummers, maybe it's a little fucked up.
Do you have a lot of respect for rats in general?
Oh? I don't think I could if I worked here, because I see somebody die all the time. But I have respect for the life that they have while they're there.
Do you think that your life is inherently more valuable than the life of a rat?
No, I just feel like it's a power dynamic thing.
Oh do you feel powerful leading the rats to their death?
No? I feel like uh oh no. I want to say, I'm just doing my job.
But if one of the rats started talking and begged you not to feed them to the snakes, what would you do?
I would grant it's release of course.
Really you get fired though, if I was you, if I was your boss, what's your name? Bella?
Yeah?
If what do you? What do you exactly do? Uh?
So, there's like so many parts to the shop right now, and it's kind of like in a weird spot. I don't even know if it's going to see it past like three or four months, because it got underneath it.
But what do you? But what do you? What do you do in the process?
Oh? Like everything? So yeah, it's really complicated, it's really weird. So like the easiest parts are like prepping all the things that they live in so they lay on bedding and stuff, and different sizes need different sizes containeers, and then you got to take them out and clean them because they get all nasty and covered in doodoo.
If I just wanted to say, if I was your boss and I heard that you let a rat go because it spoke to you, I would you would be so fired you, really, I would be so furious at you. I would be like, did it is? I don't care if the rat did a tap dance and sang a song. All right, I don't pay you to make friends with the rats. That's what That's what I tell everyone who gets into this business. You never ever ever make friends
with the rats. Okay. Your job is to feed the rats, to make them all fatty and juicy for the snakes. Your job is not to uh let the rats sing a song that clutches at your heart. Okay. This is not a job for for weak people who can be so easily swayed by by by a Mickey Mouse performance. Okay, you're not cut out for this industry, sister. That's what I would say. I would say. I would say something like that to you.
If you let a rat, well, well, i'd say, well, boss, I just just got to going in the process.
I'd take a handful and we'd go frolicking, and they'd be free, and I'd be jobless. But at least the bisentient rats got freedom.
Freedom doesn't pay the bills. Okay, freedom doesn't pay the bills. What pays the bills is uh is murdered?
Yeah?
What pays the bills? Uh? Okay? You work with the rats. How's the rest of your life going?
Are you?
Okay?
Oh yeah, it's it's gone. It's gone.
Awesome.
So I live on the same property that I work at, so it's like I kind of live with the rats too, if you want to think about it that way. So it walks like, oh yeah, I walk like three feet and they're there.
So mm hmmm.
Uh so is okay? So you're living with the rats and you really you haven't formed deep emotional bonds with them.
Yeah, So, like I would say about like getting to like keep in my own because they're really sweet.
Actually, could you tell that? Would you ask your boss if you can have the rats? Or would you just kind of lift them?
So the interesting thing is is that my father is the owner and then his girlfriend's my boss. Oh yeah, we're all in the pretty same page about things. And if I was like, hey, I'm gonna like Jackie's two rats, they'd be like, all right, just like just like, don't forget to take them when you leave.
Mmmmmm hmmm.
Do you have what are your general life aspirations?
Uh, to learn how to be happy, to have a life outside of make money, and yeah, to learn how to be happy.
What do you think is preventing you from being happy?
I had some stuff happened on trying to I can't remember it, but it's just dormant in my mind, and it kind of like it makes things difficult to be hopeful for, if that makes sense.
Oh, sure, sure, are you hopeful about anything?
I'm hopeful that I'll keep moving forward because I know that I can't stop.
Okay, you can't stop. You can, you shouldn't, but you totally can. In fact, it's actually important, that's important to remember. It's very important to remember that you act you totally can stop. I feel like if you can't stay, I feel like if you really couldn't stop, it would make not stopping less impressive. But I'm impressed that you don't stop because you totally can't. You can always stop. You can always stop, but you don't, which makes you which makes you strong, It makes.
You really tired, but yeah strong. There's one way to put it.
M m.
Mmmmmmmmm. What are you going to not stop doing?
Uh? Working and being productive? We're also just dead rod all day. I sleep fourteen hours and still wake up and be tired. I love sleep.
What's your name again, Bella? Bella? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, I appreciate you answering after I stand called you twenty times. You're a cool guy.
Hey, uh, you're a cool rat. That didn't make any sense, but gek, bless you, Bella, ghak bless.
You, Bella.
Have a good rest of have a.
Good rest of your life. And uh, you know what, Free those m F rats all right? Free? Free a couple, free a couple of them? Yeah, free couple of them? Name one Lyle and the other Jenny. If it's a girl, good boy who cares?
Seeing pictures of my new uh cucko rat children on Instagram?
I got you, beautiful, beautiful, have a good rest of your life.
You too, goes on the.
Line, making your phone calls
Every night, everyones's teaching you in the of your life exper