“THINGS KEEP FIZZLING OUT”

Hello, and welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. I am Lyle, I am a gecko. I am a man. As every day inches forward, I lose sight of who I am if I'm a man, if I'm a gecko, I don't know what the hell it is that is piloting my eyes or my body. I don't know if it's a soul. I don't know if consciousness is individualized. I don't know what this thing is that incepted and I control whatever. I don't even know what I mean when I say

I'm good, I'm good. How are you?

I'm okay man. Where are you calling from? I notice you have a bizarre area code. Bizarre to me, it's normal for you. I don't know why.

Yeah, I didn't even know how to call in. I'm from Denmark, so.

Yeah, ooh where in Denmark?

I live in a town called Ovus. It's the second biggest city in Denmark.

Bro. I love Denmark. So I've been there two or three times. I went there first when I was like eighteen, I went to Copenhagen. I took a trip to this place called Christiania. You know Christiania.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

Like the free too. And this was when I was eighteen, and like I was, you know, weed was still illegal and hurt, and we heard rumors like, yo, there's this place in Denmark where everyone fucking smokes weed and it's like a little village and it's like an anarchist fucking place.

Well, Denmark is kind of nice, yeah, like compared to like a lot of the other places on Earth, you know, so yeah, I feel like.

You feel like what I feel like.

We have it good, you know, like, yeah, pretty sick.

You sound like you don't have as much of a boner for it as I do.

Well, it's because when you live in Denmark from like, if you're from do you know what Jetlin is, it's the main out of Denmark which connects to Germany. Yeah, so when you're from Jutland like me, then you find people from Copenhagen, like even the Danish ones, to be quite arrogant, if that make sense.

Yeah, oh now I feel like a dick.

No, No, it's it's it's kind of like an it's an internal thing in Denmark because like in Jutland where I'm from, like everyone is going to greet you even though you don't know him. And that's a very very bizarre thing in Denmark. I know, in like United States and stuff, people talk a lot like even though you don't know him. But in Denmark it's like kind of seen as rude to be talking to people, especially in Copenhagen.

Interesting. Interesting, Yeah, why is it considered rude to talk to people?

I don't know if it's considered rude, but it's just like in Denmark, like Danish people, we have our own thing going on, like our own agenda, and we know where we're going. So a lot of the time if we get interrupted in that, it's kind of seen as not particularly rude, but just kind of a disruption in one stay.

One might think, yeah, so let's say that we're at the grocery store and the line is long, and I turn around and I'm like, this line is pretty long. Huh would that be rude? In Denmark.

It wouldn't be rude, but the person behind you would definitely think, huh, why do you need to point that out to me?

So, yeah, do you make conversation with strangers ever? Or well? Where where do you live again? Joplin in alos, it's.

The main part of Denmark connected to Germany is called Jutlin, so it's like the main city there.

Okay, cool? And so you and you guys think that people from Copenhagen are douchebags.

Kind of you can you can uh look at a little bit like we're the farmers in Jutland and then the business people in Copenhagen. So in Jutlin we're farmers and we're like greeting each other and you know, our good at partner. But in Copenhagen there's not really time for that. I imagine it would be like kind of the same rush as New York, but not with that many people of course.

Mm hmmmm. Well what's your name again? My name is Simon Simon. Well, Simon, I assumed that you called in for more than just to hear me gosh about the city people, So what's up man? How you doing?

The past like half a year has been kind of hectic for me? I think I lost my girlfriend. I had a very hectic move out of an apartment because the guy I was rending it from was doing some illegal shit. And I came home late one night and could see like I could see my window and like the rest of the apartment was stark, but like he

Yeah, how is baseline for you?

And that's that's the thing. It's kind of baseline is nice, but I have to make a like a lot of effort to make something happened. Like if I have hobbies, I painted warhamm if Warhammer miniatures, but I have to make quite an effort to like kickstart that hobby again.

Why do you feel like it's taking you such an effort to kick start your hobbies again?

I feel I'm probably My idea is that I have a ADHD, so I have like my focus and my interest is shifting a lot, and I find it very hard to like delve into something where that my interest isn't in it. So, for example, then I have like this period of two months where I paint a lot of Warhammer and spend a lot of money on it and then it just like fizzles out. And yeah, I'm kind of just waiting for it naturally to return because

Are right, right? Is it like a like a brain chemistry thing.

Yes, if you get really specifically, it is, because it's kind of like being dopamine addicted. But I just need and want more dopamine than normal people.

In quotations, why, yes, I'm I'm I'm familiar with that. What are your what are your current sources of dopamine?

Oh? So I take a medicine for my ADHD, and whenever I do it's not kind of a problem. But when I don't, I eat a lot to like just keep not because I'm hungry, but just to keep like the dopamine flowing. The Oh I know you've talked about like eating a pint of you know, ban and Jerry's, and that would be like the kick. So yeah, when I don't take my medicine, which is during the weekends and when I'm hungover, then I eat a lot.

W what medicine do you take? I'm curious.

It's something called advance it's like amphetamine, but it just releases very slowly.

Wait wait say it again, Advance advance or vivants l vance ell vance Okay, is it is like a stimulant?

I think so. Like the way I I kind of know how it works is that it's just like amphetamine, but then released over the course of like the whole day, in very small doses. So whenever the ADHD brain would lose focus or anything, then instead of losing focus, it will give like a kick of amphetamine or something, and then you would keep your focus.

Mm hmm. Yeah. I actually just started taking I took a Vivance for the first time in a while yesterday, and it made me feel like it gave me so much like dopamine, and it was great. It is so interesting to think about how much of this shit is like just yet chasing, chasing brain chemicals.

You know.

Yeah, well the fucking pill. Can you know? You think it's all these external things, but you take a pill and everything changes and your external is the same, but the way you view it is different.

Yeah.

I actually had when I started at the medicine when I first got diagnosed, I started on a different kind of medication and I felt like I would get this filter on my feelings. So beforehand, when we would like when my parents would make my favorite dish for dinner, I would be like really happy, and then when they told me after dinner I had to do the dishes,

So I feel like for some people.

Some medications like really just the trick, but for me, like most of the medications just make me feel like bland and great.

Mm hmm.

How it might It might just be because it like turns off that dopamine hit.

You know, how is how is the one you're taking now making you feel.

It's it's it's the medicine that least affected my mood, I think. But I view myself as two different people. Like when I take my medicine and when I don't, like, I feel vastly different.

Whoa two different people? Tell me what the two different people are?

It's not it's not really two different people, but it's just like two two different mindsets, I think. So the way my unmedicatedself would view and tackle it situation is just one thing and then when I'm medicated, I would tackle it another way.

MM.

Do you feel like it's better when you're medicated.

Yeah, for sure, for like different things and like studying, working, getting stuff done around the house, all those kind of all those things kind of get easier. And also, M I think if people were too like be with me socially, then if I'm medicated, I'm much more they could be with me for a longer period period of time and not get irritated with me. But if I'm off my medicine, then I can be kind.

Of intense, interesting, intense, intense in what way?

Intense in just like the emotions, Like if I feel joy, I feel a lot of joy. I'm like jump around. I'm like an energetic like like a kid maybe yeah. M.

And so you feel like that your emotions are too intense that like people other people can't handle it.

Some people can. I feel myself like kind of weirdly magnetized to other people with ADHD, and they have a much higher tolerance because they can like they kind of get it, you know, m M.

Yeah I feel that way too. I also kind of feel myself magnetized to people with ADHD, you know, like other people people who also like have like weird struggles or like feel life very intensely. You know, as a person who feels life very intensely, it is bizarre to even like fathom the mind of somebody who like isn't feeling life very intensely. It sounds sick. I'd like to not feel life very intensely, make more of a.

Mellow experience in life. I think if you if you don't, then you won't spike as much.

It's a it's a it's a it's a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing and a curse, and it kind of, I guess depends on how you want to look at it, because I don't know. Some people like don't ever think about any of this ship or feel very intensely, which is a more uh uh certainly a more comfortable way to go through life. But I don't. These aren't things that I think you choose. I think

Yeah.

I've always used like the analogy of like Jim Carrey because he has ADHD and you can clearly like you can clearly tell by most of his roles in films that he's just like a bomb of energy, and I think that's his ADHD, like him challenging channeling his ADHD into something positive and making a career out of it. But yeah, that's that. I've always said, that's a good analogy of someone using their diety, like their diagnosed to do good. M hm.

Do you what are your hopes and dreams for like, mister Simon.

I don't fucking know, niall, And that's the that's the worst part because right now I work. I'm at work right now, and I work for the Danish Railway company and there's like one one doing all of the trains in Denmark, and it's kind of a dead end job, you know. I can't move up in the ranks, and I'm kind of disposable because it's just a service. I sell stuff from seven to eleven in a train.

And.

So yeah, it's kind of it's comfortable right now. It tastes the bills and I can live and it's fine. But as for my dreams and hopes, I don't know. I would really like to do something with animals, like and sanctuary in like I'm preferably exotic animals.

Where does one go to work with exotic animals in Denmark?

They go to the zookeepers school. But the problem is that Denmark is so small that when you're looking for and I don't know what it's called in English, but kind of an internship in Denmark, you have and you contact the the business or the zoo and then but Denmark is so small that we don't have sus enough sus for everyone to get an internship. So you might get put on a waiting list for like a year or two, just right in the middle of your education to be a Jesuit.

M okay, so you in order for you to get this internship, there's a long wait list.

But yeah, that might be. That's the kind of thing you don't really know before you apply.

What about just get can you just get a parrot? Just get a pet parrot?

I actually had a good dragon once. M.

Yeah, couldn't you be like you could be like the tiger king of Denmark and just start your own fucking illegal zoo.

Have you seen Common Side Effects the show on HBO? Yeah?

Yeah, I love that show.

I would love to be the brother to that guy. I don't know, I don't remember his name, but like seth.

Oh yeah, yeah, actually no, I know, yeah, yeah, I know exactly the scene that you're talking about, that guy who just owns a bunch of like exotic pets and ship.

Yeah, yeahs to be that guy though.

That's very funny that you reference to that, and yeah, yeah, yeah I couldn't you Could you just open a fucking pet shop in Denmark? How easy is that?

In Denmark? There's like so many regulations, and I believe there are animals as well, and especially exotic animals, and if they're venomous, it gets kind of like it gets even more difficult. But I know the peole in Denmark who have like snakes and drain their venom and stuff like that, they need to like have kind of a military grade permission to do so, I believe. Don't quote me on that.

Yeah, the Tiger King does feel like a kind of uniquely American thing. It just so then requires very little regulations.

Yeah, have you ever seen there's like this one streamer girl, I don't remember her name, but she's friends with Judy Cinderella and Ludwick has been over there, and she has this kind of sanctuary out in the middle of nowhere and invites streamers over to like participate in peak the animals.

No, who is it?

I don't remember her name at all, but I just like a bunch of my favorite dreamers has visited the sanctuary, and that would be like the ultimate, like the ultimate dream just to like take care of twenty or twenty five animals.

What's what animal would be the crown jewel of your exotic animal zoo.

Mister Lyle, you know this. It would be a gecko.

Listen, let me all right here, let me tell you something. Let me tell you all right, I'm gonna make a pact with you, all right in thirty In thirty years, if both of us still don't know what to do with our lives, I'll fucking I'll dress I don't know where my gecko suits will be at that age, but I'll dress up as a lizard and move to Denmark and I'll just be in a cage and you can you can drive me around and we'll do like a little exotic animal freak show around Denmark.

Hell, yeah, that would be so cool. I would feed you well too. I'm a good caretaker.

Yeah, what what kind of what what do we got?

What's the prind Jesus, he's kind of kind of tempting.

Now, he's very tempting. I got I actually last night, I yeah, did I feel you on the dopamine? Last night? I go puffed. God man, last night, I fucking go puffed a pine of Ben and Jerries, some hot pockets and some party mix. And I actually only I only ate half the pine of Ben Jerri's, but the other half is in the freezer right now, and I'm thinking about thinking about eating it, thinking about eating it. It's too much, man, It's too much. I've been. I've been.

So it's even when you like feel full, like when you don't need to eat more food because your body is full and you feel that, but you still keep eating because it tastes so good.

Well yeah, of course, of course, by the way, Ben Ben and Jerry's ice cream is not you know, it's not for satiation purposes. No, it's not for you don't get you don't get full. On ice cream.

You know, I've actually worked in an ice cream for one time.

Yeah, did you get Did you get to eat a lot of ice cream?

I did it, but I very very quickly got tired of ice cream and I didn't want to eat it.

That's sad, man, Well, how do you how do you know that's not going to happen with these exotic animals? You know, like you're just spending so much time around bearded dragons that it doesn't even excite you anymore.

It's actually kind of kind of crazy, im engine it because I got pretty tired of the beard of dragon when I had it. But I think like it would be kind of I was a kid then, and I would really like like the responsibility of taking care of not just one, but like multiple animals and like kind of have a feeling that I'm helping doing good because I always see these animals like kind of going extinct and getting hunted everywhere. So yeah, I feel like I

Mature, Simon. Uh, this was a good conversation, man. I enjoyed talking to you. Yeah, I hope, I you know, look man, we're uh, I hope we figure out our whatever the fuck's going on in the brain that makes us, uh eat shit and go crazy.

Well, I can probably tell you already that we probably won't because the brain is so weird.

No, don't say that. Fuck fuck you, Simon, Fuck you Simon. I believe. I believe that both of us will figure it out. Okay, we're both gonna figure it out. You can't say that. You can't say that we won't, Simon. You can't.

All right, I believe as well?

Do you really? I hope that's the pro The first step to believing is to just say it, even if you don't.

Yeah, well, I do believe. I do believe that people figure it out some day.

How old are you, man, I'm curious.

I'm twenty five.

Cool, we're about the same age. Yeah, ah man, yeah? Uh do you ever? Do you ever go to Copenhagen or are you like it's all everyone there is too douche?

No? I do, And the girlfriend I broke up with actually lived there, so I was there quite a lot. And because I worked for the railway company, I have three travel like free trouble across all of them, so I could just go there. When I'm a r I want.

How's your love life been since the gift?

The gift, it's been kind of crazy. Like the first girl I dated after her was like a Satanist, but she was kind of sweet but a Satanist nonetheless, and kind of intense.

How so.

Just like and everything like in emotions. I remember, like when I met her at the night that I met her, like this other girl came in which I have with which I have seen like in the past of my life, and she came to say hi and just like put a hand on my shoulder and said hey, Sammon, and I was like hey, and then they go to sickness go. She was just gone instantly because she feld the vice.

Mm hmm. But I am you are you? Are you gonna try to like go on more dates and stuff?

Yeah, I'm kind of trying to practice practice practice ethical dating. So no ghosting, no being a dick, being clear about boundaries and what you're looking for and like dating interesting.

Interesting, Wait, tell me more about this ethical dating, Like you're like no ghosting, no like letting things trail off, like firmly ending and being like like, tell me, tell me more about this philosophy.

I don't know if I have the time. Then I have to put you down for a minute because I have to get some urum and then I can pick them. Can you hang away?

Oh?

You have you have to go. You have to get out of here.

Now I'm not to get out of here, but I have to go to where the train is. So I just have to get like a gear on. It's going to take five seconds and then I can tell you on the wather.

Okay, all right, right, I'm back, all right, Yeah, tell me more about tell me more about your ethical dating philosophy.

Yeah. So in a world where like like in the modern world, where there's so much ghosting, there's so much non responsive I just kind of got tired of it and decided that change starts with yourself. And I've actually gotten a lot of positive feedback on it, and like this one girl when I was dating the sickness. Then then there was this other girl I met with on Kinder and I just told her that I was seeing someone else and that I wanted to know where that went.

M how was how was that meeting?

It was good, like we didn't really click in a lot of ways. If you had a good conversation, that was it, but not really leading to anything further.

Mh yeah, I yeah. I think it can be hard emotionally to always be like I don't know, it can be hard for some people to like communicate everything all the time because it's like, well is this too much after having just you know, met once, and you know a lot of people I think kind of struggle with with that. Yeah.

I feel like in then in Denmark, people just avoid the confrontation of it, and but it's not that bad. Like now, I've tried it a couple of times, just being honest and being like, hey, I don't think we should see each other anymore, and people actually do take it. I mean women do. I don't know about men. I've heard a lot of scary stories about men who can celebrate being predicted, but I've had a lot of good experiences with women like open and upfront about it.

Do you feel like it is a European thing to be like direct? I know, I know, like in Ant, like in in the Netherlands, there's a whole thing of like like Dutch directness, like people are very like good at communicating. Yeah, do you think it's a European thing.

It might be. I don't think we're good at it in Denmark. Like I hear stories from like my like platonic girlfriend, like my friends friends who are women that and there's a lot of bad acts out there.

So are you what's your what's your like dating goal? You're trying to get married and all that.

Well, I don't know about marriage. I'm not like that's not kind of my main focus. But my main focus is definitely a family and kids. Nice, Like I really want to be a dad, like a lot nice.

Are you trying to be a dad like like like soon you're trying to be like a young dad.

No, No, I'm trying to be a dad like with the right woman. So that like my goal as a dad is to be the best dad possible. So that will only make sense if I have the best wife possible, like the best mother as well.

Yeah yeah, I mean, yeah, man, that's the most fucking important decision you can make in your life.

Yeah it is.

That's cool.

That's like my end, but nothing like yeah.

We're gonna figure We're gonna figure out the brains. We're gonna figure out the brain. Both, Simon, I'm gonna fucking manifest I don't know if I believe in manifestation, but I'm gonna manifest for us. Okay, all right, We're both gonna figure out the brain. We're both gonna have beautiful wives and children and yeah, and you're gonna have a You're gonna have an animal sanctuary, and I'm gonna have a.

Uh like that like a lot on my plate though, to both have a family and an animal shelter.

Yeah, maybe that is a lot. Maybe that is a lot, not all at once, not all at once. Maybe when you're like seventy or some shit. Maybe when you're seventy.

I'm just gonna smoke weed when I'm seventeen and so the rest of my life.

You can fuck man, you can do that now.

I am doing that now. But like, I'm definitely gonna increase in amount of wheat smoking when I get older.

I think. I mean at that point, just do you know heroin or something. Well, by the time you're seventy, there's gonna be some I mean, there's new drugs all the time, like ketamine has become popular and what is it? Two C too sweet, the pink one. So by the time you're seventy, there's gonna be some you know, there's gonna be super weed or some new thing to snort or inject or put up your ass, and you know you'd probably be doing that.

Yeah, you might be able to smoke your ADHD medsine.

Smoking adderall sounds nuts, So.

That could be crazy though.

Simon, Uh, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna end this phone call so that I can go eat Ben and Jerry's.

That sounds really nice, brother, is.

Nice talking to you. I really hope that you do figure the things out. And uh, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna come to Denmark at some point. I don't know what you do.

I problemise I'm gonna be at your show. You're not gonna do a show, then hit me up. We'll go to Christina.

Oh, actually sounds nice. Yeah. I did a show in Copenhagen a couple of years ago. Maybe I'll do another one. Who knows, who knows, who knows, who knows? Yeah, Simon, is there anything else I want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

Mmm, I guess just kind of stay fresh, stay.

Positive, beautiful, believe, take care of Simon, take care of live. Maybe I'll start an animal sanctuary. No, all those animals will be fucked if I had an animal sanctuary. If you're an animal out there, you better pray you don't end up in my sanctuary. Because I can't even take care of a plant. Maybe I'll have a diet coke sanctuary. Yeah, that sounds more. That sounds like more of a thing I can take care of. Hello, Yes, Hi, what is your name?

My name is Calvin.

Calvin, like Calvin Klein.

Yes.

Do you get that a lot to people say that to you a lot?

Oh?

Yes, definitely.

Do you feel like Calvin Klein?

Not really? I wish I was rich like Calvin Klein.

Is he rich or dead? Or I guess you could. I guess you can't be. Can you be rich and dead? I guess when you're dead, you no longer own things. So he's either whatever. I mean, he cares about him. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about you. Calvin. I'm so in the mood to talk to you right now. I really am I I You're I'm really going to treat this conversation like you and me are the only two people on the planet Earth for the rest of eternity. So I'm here, I'm ready. Whatever you got to throw out,

Well, to be quite honest, man, I've been going through a lot, Like I'm trying to go through a breakup. At the same time, my ex girlfriend wants to get back with me, but she's playing my games. Yet she wants to get back with me, but she's talking to other guys, and I'm not sure what to do about that.

Okay, So you're going through When you say you're going through a breakup, this is and the ex that wants to get back to you. There's one woman in this story.

There's not multiple Yeah, there's only one woman.

Okay, And how old are you? I just want to know I am twenty four, twenty four, and tell me about this woman. Tell me about the relationship you had with her.

Well, to be honest with us, with her, she kept always yelling at me and kept trying to gaslight me when she kept trying to say I never listened to her. I never did anything she wanted me to do. Yet I did everything before I've been over backwards, and I loved her. She meant everything to me, and I didn't. I just did everything she wanted me to do. Like I thought what she did what she did was love.

And I'm not sure you thought what she did was love? What do you mean by what she did?

I mean, I'm used to being gaslet and I thought when I got with her, things will be different. But apparently she told me lies and I just fed into it, and I, you know, I just wanted to believe her, you know, like I I just wanted to be with her. And I don't know, like dude, like I've I've been with her for off and on for two years, and I loved her.

Dude, why do you love her?

Because truth be told? Like her and I connected more. Her and I had a lot of comment but at the same time, I had a lot of trauma for my exes in the past. And after her and I broke up, and I felt, you know, my eyes open up, and I thought, you know, she told me, she loved me. She did all these things for me. She bought me gibs, and you know, she was trying to depraise me, and I thought that was love. But apparently that's not love at all. That's well, my friends would try to tell me, m.

Oh, what are your friends? What are your friends telling you?

My friends are trying to tell me she's being a narcissist by telling me lies and trying to gastle. I mean to try to get back with her, and what she did was not love because she was trying to yell at me, trying to tell me that I didn't listen to her. I like, I didn't do anything around the house, but I did everything for I cleaned for her, I cooked for her, I thought her things, I paid her rents and everything. But yet apparently things are not going her way.

Mmmmmm mmmmmm. How long has it been since she talked to this lady?

Uh?

To be honest, this morning, this.

Morning, are you going on dates? Are you seeing anyone else?

Not?

Right now?

Not at all?

What else is going on in your life?

Well?

You know, to be honest, I've been trying to go out more of my friends try to try to get my mind off of things. Tried to get me into an environment where I feel like I'm accepted and where my friends want me to, you know, feel like I'm okay.

That sounds great. You sound like you have good friends, you have you been hanging out with them a lot?

Oh yeah, of course. Like the other day, my friends took me to get a couple of drinks at the bar, and my my eggs kept trying to blow my and my phone up. She's like, where are you at?

What are you doing.

I'm like, I'm just hanging out with my friends. She's like, oh, my friends already good friends. And she's like, are you trying to talk to any woman? I'm like, no, I'm just hanging out my friends having a few beers.

Mmm.

You know, look, I'm gonna you know, I'll say this, Ma Calvin. I'm really no expert on these things, but I have these kind of amorphous thoughts and feelings about love and relationships and how to handle it. And you know, I mean, at the end of the day, right like, you want to be in a relationship with someone that

Well, I moved away from her, and I feel a lot safe for being away from her. Like no, I'm seven hours away from her, and ever since I moved away, I feel a lot more safer. But yet she was trying to get me come back to her.

You know, what do you want to do with your life? Man? What? Because where you're at now, you got all these friends.

I'm in North Dakota with all my friends and Tripa told them I want to become a streamer. Like when I was with her, I had to put on my pause because she got mad at me for trying to you know, trying to make trying to make content. And now with my free time, I'm trying to put more content out for people.

You know, wait a minute, she got mad. Why was she mad at you for trying to make content?

She said that she thought content, more content was more important than her, which I told her she was more important content, But yet her mind, she thought that trying to make content come come up.

Calvin Calvin. Oh god, man, Calvin, listen, brother, my friend, Calvin. You just from my perspective, you got a nice setup going on. You got you got you really, you got a nice setup going on. You got a thing you want to do. You got good ass friends who, uh you know, it's it's a god what a gift it is to have like other people in your life who give a fuck about you enough to offer you genuine perspective on your situation and try to knock yourself out

I will.

I appreciate you, Lyle.

All right? Calvin, Calvin, Calvin? Is there anything else I can do for you at all? Do you want five dollars?

I mean, I wish I'll vemo you.

Five dollars right now?

Shiit?

What's your what's your what's your venom? And vemo? You five dollars? Calvin? What's your Veandmo? And Vemo? And you five dollars? I have no idea why I'm doing this right now. I just said I I said I would, and now I have to do it. What's your Vemo? Calvin?

Hold on, brother, I need to go on my cow real click?

Okay? Why am I sending you five dollars? I don't know why it feels like the right thing to do to send you five. I've never nobody, no callers on this show. I've ever You're the first caller on this show to ever get paid. No, no, no, no, no, this is not, this is not. This is I want you to know. I want you to know. First of all, Calvin, I I I I love you. I'll help you succeed in life. And I don't know and and this is not.

My venmo is Emo E M O B O I zero zero is Emo Boys zero zero.

Emo Boy zero zero. Okay, Calvin, all right, all right, Calvin, I sent you. All right, Calvin, I sent you five dollars.

I appreciate it.

Brother, all right, what are you gonna do with it?

Well, for me, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna try to get a meal since with the person I've been living with for the past couple of days, I've been starving and I'm trying to get trying to figure out what to do. And my friend he doesn't do anything about it. Yet he works and he doesn't give me anything at all. And I've been trying to clean his apartment, trying to bend over backwards, froom everything.

Wait a minute, wait you start. Do you have a Do you have a job.

I've been trying to get a job, but every job I applied to has never got back to me at all. And I put a good resume, like I have a good resume, and nobody wants to hire me. And I worked at home depot, I've worked at Walmart everywhere, and I have good cover, I have good customer service. Yet I don't let my autist mean in the way of anything.

Hmmm mmmm okay, okay, okay, Well listen, don't don't uh, let's listen to your friends. Don't let this lady drive you crazy. And I wish I had something more cool and awesome. I wish I had something cooler to say to you than just keep trying. But just keep trying, man.

I appreciate you and everybody. Yeah, just I'm trying. I'm trying to keep keep myself on my feet. It's just my mental health has been draining me, and I'm not trying to let that get in a way.

Covin, Covin, is anything else us say to the people of the computer before we go?

All I can say is find the woman who means the most of you, and find the woman who treats you how you want to be treated. Don't let her treat you any other way you want to be loved. And if a woman gaslights you or treats you like any sort of way, that is not love. You need to find the one person who means the world to you and you truly know she would be the one for you. She deserves to know that you You deserve everything in the war like love, honesty, loyalty, communication, You

Your sweet boy, Calvin, You're a sweet boy. Thank you for calling my show, Calvin. Okay, good luck.

Of course, thank you, and I hope everyone has a good night. Okay, good luck, Calvin, thank you, have a good night. Get girls.

Calvin's a sweet boy. Calvin's a sweet guy. I have zero regrets sending him five dollars. Nobody else call me and asked me for five dollars. That was the only time I ever going to do that. When that's what happens when I get uh, that's what happens when I when I get really hopped hopped up on caffeine and vibe ances, I tell people I love them, and I send them five dollars and I'm by the way, oh eyes. Just so you know, in my uh soul, I actually

Rachel?

What's up? Rachel? Has life?

It's going well. I just graduated college, so it's great, exciting.

Congratulations you, Rachel. Is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about today?

I wanted to tell you the story of my uncle's disappearance.

Your uncle's disappearance?

Sure, okay, So we have to start from the very beginning. Before I was born. My uncle was disowned by my grandfather and moved to a Native American reservation. That's the beginning. We are not Native Americans, so I don't know like what the rules are with that, but I don't know. And then my grandfather passed away, and then he moved back home when he was hit by a bus and he became disabled. The bus was a government vehicle, so he got a lot of money in a lawsuit, so

Uh?

No, Okay, So let's fast forward. I'm in eighth grade. Not right now, but back in the day. I was in eighth grade and he wanted to move with like all this money that he had, and he was like struggling a little bit, and so my mom was like, Okay, yeah, you can stay with us. We can help you find a place to live. YadA, YadA, YadA. So my mom has six siblings and she's like very known to help them out when they're in need. So he lived with us for like a month, like came to my eighth

So I'm like, you're living in Egypt?

No, no, no, Like it's just like me saying butt fuck nowhere, but saying butt fuck Egypt.

Okay, okay, so this is it's in America. It's not in Egypt.

Yeah no, no, no, we're no, We're in Virginia.

Sorry, okay, all right, Yeah.

That was that was very confusing to say that, to say that you're driving to Egypt.

Someone just said, hey, daughter, you know what would be super drum?

Can you not? Can you not? Can you not look at the chat?

Okay, okay, well look, okay, go ahead.

And so you're driving to not Egypt.

So I'm driving to like the western part of Virginia, not West Virginia, but like the westernmost part of Virginia. So it's like very much farmland. So I'm fifteen, I have my learners permit, like I need a trusted adult in the car, and me and my mom and my sister drive out to like this random like woman's house, the woman who Facebook messaged my mom. And we get there like five hours later, and it's like just the most random lady we've ever met. And she's like, yeah,

Find did you ever find his leg? Did you ever find his leg?

Right? Where was it? Where was his leg?

Okay? So you never found a leg?

No, it was like amputated in like a medical procedure.

Do you still talk to your aunt my aunts or like your uncle? Your uncle had like a lady friend?

Well he didn't though. It was a woman who scammed him out of like a million dollars and said that she like sold gems.

No one does that.

Yeah, I know. So we never figured it out. What happens?

There has there been any updates on this?

No? Every time I bring it up, like my mom is just like yeah.

Whatever, okay, okay.

And realistically, this wasn't that long.

Ago, Like wait, how old are you now?

I'm twenty one?

Okay, So I guess you'll you'll just never have the answers to this right.

It's like very mysterious and I wish that I could have been there after we left the shack to hear the homeless people converse. Well, uh, they have something to do with it, Like.

You know, rest in peace to your uncle.

Yeah he was great. He died doing what he looked. What did he love drinking?

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

I love you guys. Look out for your uncles.

Obay, the repeat can't goes on the line taking your phone calls every night. The repeat can't goes doing his ride. He's teaching you about live your life, but he's not really an expert.