Call from Tyler.
Hello, Hello, what's up?
Not the much?
How are you doing?
All right? What's your name?
My name is Tyler.
How can I get you today? Tyler?
Oh, you know, I've got a lot going on right now. Actually it's a bit heavy, if that's all right.
You know what. I drank a Celsius and half a bottle of diet Mountain Dew. So that's I'm on about two hundred and fifty milligrams of caffeine. I feel alert, I feel awake, I feel I feel as though I'm going to try. I will try my best to tackle, to tackle a heavy thing. Let's let's give it a shot.
Cool, let's go. Okay, So we'll start this off with at the end of last year, I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety. Okay, in that I'm married and I have a three year old son. It's a little bit of information there. So after that diagnosis, I get on proper medications and get into a good therapist. I've been in therapy for a decade or so. I'm thirty four now.
Oh sorry, So I start doing that, and I'm starting to realize some things about my life looking back, and I realize that I have been for the past seven or eight years been in a both physically and emotionally abusive relationship, and for the past three years that has been occurring in front of my son.
So this is with your wife, This is with my wife.
Yes, I've been with her marriage for five years, together for ten.
Okay.
So as I realize these things, I start kind of pushing back on some of the controlling, abusive types of things and trying to fix some stuff, and she just kind of starts to escalate and begins getting kind of like paranoid. Our son was born like right in the middle of COVID, so she's got like a pretty strong protective attachment over him and has been always kind of protective over him, but like doesn't let anybody else drive him around rarely. I'll ever lette anybody watch him if
she's not around. And she started getting that way towards me. She had been accusing me of becoming psychotic after getting on my medications, which another little side thing. Just before I got on my medication, my best friend killed himself, So I kind of had a bit of a men breakdown because of that. So I think because of that occurring around the same time as the medication and me pushing back on stuff. She just thought I was going
nuts or she's just nuts herself. I'm not really sure at this point, but anyway, she started getting more and more paranoid. She started calling the police to our house and telling them that she felt threatened by me. I've never done anything violent to her or the kid, but because she said she felt threatened, the police would make me leave. So for about a week or so she was doing that, so I wasn't able to see my son for that week. Anytime I would try and come home,
she would leave. She would pack them on it begone. Yeah, YadA, YadA. The last time that she called the police, they didn't recommend or tell me that I should leave, so I stayed. She asked if she could leave, they said yeah, she got in the car and left.
That was.
A little over a month ago, and I haven't seen or heard from either of them since going out of me.
You even seen or heard from your son or your wife in a month?
They have contacted me or my wife has. She texted me once to remind me to water her plants while she was gone, and then another time to offer to do a video chat with him. But the wording and the message is really suspicious, and I had already been told by lawyers in my therapists not to respond to any contact. Shit pretty apparent that she's trying to like frame me for domestic violence or something. I'm not really sure what is going on in her head, but.
Well, I I mean, first of all, oh, I'm sorry that all this is happening to you. Second of all, tell me more about what your therapists and lawyers are saying to you.
Okay, So therapist says, no contact with her if she shows up, don't be alone with her. She said. His words were, I am at an extreme risk of being framed for domestic violence. So he said, don't be alone with her. And I've only actually managed to see he's I just started seeing him a month or two ago, so I've only no more than a month or two ago.
Last month kind of doesn't really count for me right now because it's been such a fucking weird, fucked up thing, but two months like before then probably, so I've only seen him three or four times and never gotten on like a consistent schedule. So I've only seen him twice now since they left. So I haven't really been able to go over with it with him so much. But we're going to start seeing each other more or uh,
now that shit's really hit the sands. But the police haven't really I haven't really been able to work with the police too much. They don't like I live in Michigan, so at least here, the police aren't allowed to like interfere in any kind of custody situation. And even if they are able to, it still has to go through the courts. And I think because she is telling them that I'm after her or hurt them or something, the
cops aren't really talking to me all that much. They I think, caught on pretty quickly what was happening, so they can kind of like encode say things to me. But I've had to send a couple of wellness checks to her family here and there, so I kind of have like a general idea of where they might be. But I don't have a place where I could send somebody to serve her divorce papers or a restraining order or custody order or anything like that. But the lawyers are I found a good lawyer. I think he's a
good lawyer. He seems to be doing everything they should be. We're just trying to like track her down at this point because I can't really do anything until I serve her papers.
And what has anyone given you advice about how like you can get your son back?
It's pretty much just get her to come back in one way or another. So the devor once she is served, she has to respond to the serve the service whatever process or whatever like in person, so she has to like come and sign something in front of a notary here, but that one she gets served. So it's just a matter of once we find her, then the clock kind of starts ticking because once she doesn't, if she doesn't respond to it, she'll be delinquent in the divorce. And
then it just goes however I want it to. So I'm assuming she would come back, but I also never really assumed that she would kidnap my son.
That is very heavy. Yes, that is very heavy.
Yeah yeah yeah.
How how how how are you doing?
Weird? It's very weird because, like I said, I'm in therapy now and I'm on proper medications, specifically h and at a pressant with working good for me shouts out symbaltah, So I like probably at least mentally besides the like constant hellish turmoil and doing what good as I've ever
done my entire life. I'm like, and I think, like her being gone, I'm realizing how much of an effect just being in her relationship with an abusive person has on your self esteem and well being in general, I suppose, and for fucking eight years, practically tell.
Me more about how you're doing. You're doing better than you ever have before.
Well, I would love to tell you about that. So I'm like calling friends and like hanging out with people that for the past decade or so I've thought didn't like me anymore, but it was just because I wasn't calling them because I was in a controlling relationship. So I'm kind of realizing that I have. I mean, I've got three or four of my closest friends I've been friends with for fifteen years at least, my best friend I've been friends with for like twenty five years. And
I've got a super supportive family. They're not really the most emotionally available, but they're supportive in all the ways that they know how So I'm kind of just like realizing my whole life, I've been kind of like my life sucks and nobody loves me and everything's terrible and there's no point. And then my son was born and I was kind of like, oh, yeah, here's the point. But it was still kind of not me. It wasn't
about me still. But now I'm like, oh, I can like go out and do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want to, and I don't have to like ask permission to hang out with my friends or be worried about the repercussions of going and seeing a movie or a show. And I'm a musician. Music has always been like the most important thing in the world to me, and I'm like super excited about making music again. I haven't done it in like seven or eight years probably,
and just getting back into that community and stuff. So oh that's good. But the son getting kidnapped in my abusive life kinds sucks still.
Wow. So do you, I mean, looking back on it, do you attribute uh, falling out of touch with these friends and with music and with your family to your relationship with this person.
Yeah, definitely. Never like it was never like outright like you can't go and hang out with that person, But it was just like anytime I tried to make plans, it would turn into a fight, and then eventually the fight returning into me getting hit in front of the kid or something like that. And then it gets to the point where you're just like, well, I'm just gonna not ask anymore to avoid the conflict and stuff like that.
So it's kind of like I'm trying to give myself a little bit of grace because up until the end of last year, I wasn't a mentally stable person and I was kind of being controlled by another person. But still kind of stupid and for like putting up with it for so long, especially after the kid was born, I feel bad for letting him be around it for
too long. But and then also after being in an abusive relationship like that, your self esteem is just so low and you're just so depressed you don't feel like doing anything anyways.
How has your depression been like recently?
I mean it's been since I got on the SYMBALTHA especially, I've been doing pretty good on that. I haven't like I used to and I didn't realize that this was a normal thing. But up until I got into therapy and medicated, I wouldn't like consider suicide, but it would be something that I was beyond my mind on practically a daily basis, Like just like just the thought passing through my mind.
Yeah, I realized, sorry, go ahead, why don't you finish? Oh?
And then once and once I got into therapy and got on the medication, that kind of went away for the most part. And I think that's like the main thing, just like not thinking about my own death all of the time is probably good for my mental health, and like I just feel legitimately, like for the first time, I like can actually be happy. Like, uh, it's I'm like I said, it's really fucking weird because it's like
I'm probably the most unhappy I've ever been my entire life. Also, but it's a really strange.
Situation.
I guess when you were when you were thinking about like dying all the time, what was like what was driving that? Was it like a were you thinking about certain events going on in and around your life, or was it just like your the fucking chemistry of your brain attacking you.
I think it was a little bit of both. I think that I've got some pretty big issues from having ADHD my whole life and not knowing it because I kind of just like and I did all right in school, and at the time, that's how people like figured out if their kid had ADHD or not. So I think that's kind of how I squeezed by. But looking back now with like a clearer mind, I'm realizing, like, oh,
I've been struggling with like everything my entire life. And because I didn't know that I had ADHD, I thought it was just because I was a fucking idiot or what good enough or didn't deserve to have whatever it was that I was trying to get. So that was going into the abusive relationship, the state of mind that I was in already, and then also depression and anxiety.
Right, So that's what I was gonna ask you, is so this this is kind of a state of mind that you've had even before you met your wife.
Yeah.
Yeah, And then the came around.
When did you, like, at what point in your life did you start noticing you like had these like these these feelings and issues.
I think I've kind of known my whole life. I've had this conversation with friends and girlfriends and other wives before about kind of just feeling like aliens sort of like I remember when I was really young, just always having that feeling of like everybody else seems to be different than I am, and it seems to make it so that they all get along and somehow I don't
fit in there. So it was just always like kind of just like a general feeling of like I don't belong here just because like simple easy things, because I'm not like stupid, but there's a lot of real simple, easy things that I just couldn't do. And I'd be like, well, this is a thing that human beings seem to be able to do pretty easily, and I can't figure it out.
And just like I had issues like communicating and expressing myself, and I think the biggest thing has been like not really ever because I would just kind of like, in order to feel like I was liked by other people, I would just kind of morph myself into what I thought that they wanted a cool person to be or whatever. So I ended up being and like a real like go with the flow, like fun kind of party guy, and that's how I figured out how to make people happier,
fit in or whatever. But because I was always just going along with what everybody else is doing, I was never really figuring out what I wanted or what would make me happy. And then if I don't know what I want or what would make me happy, I can't ask or try and get it. So I think that's just kind of been preventing me from being happy my whole life.
And so now at thirty four, you said, after therapy and after medication, you finally Well, I know you've kind of phrased it in this weird contradictory way, because obviously you're going through a lot of completely insane external circumstances right now. But the way you phrased it was that, in a weird way, you found this, Like do you feel like like you found this kind of freedom and happiness from these crazy mental circumstances.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. It definitely feels like I have a lot more freedom, and I mean it is a lot of that's just because I literally don't have anyone to answer to right now. I went from having a toddler that I was chasing around, taking care of and all this stuff to absolutely nothing, which sucks in a lot of ways. But I can also play guitar as loud as I want, and I can listen to all my Deathcore records as loud as I want, and nobody can tell me to turn the wrestling off the TV.
Have your SOCID thoughts gone away?
Yeah?
Yeah, pretty much completely. I haven't really. After my friend killed himself, there was like a week that I couldn't get my medication, but I probably had my closest brush. But since I've been on the meds, it's pretty much gone completely.
What's your name again, Tyler? Tyler? Uh? I'm curious for anyone who might be listening to this, who who uh
may may themselves be going insane? You know, as someone who who also you know, myself personally goes insane fairly often, and everybody's insane, and everybody is hopeful hopefully that one day they will not be going insane, and so as somebody who at least in this very moment, you know, again, despite pretty pretty nightmarish external circumstances, you seem to, at least from what I'm gathering from you be going uh
less insane. Do you What would you say to those people and how they themselves can deal with these issues.
I would definitely say go to therapy. I would definitely say talk to your doctor about potentially getting on medications, is that the kind of thing you're into talk to your friends, did just fucking talk to somebody, talk to anybody, Just talk to people about how you're feeling. Really, that's what I found since they left, Like there is a week or so that I was just kind of like hold up in the house, not doing anything, not talking
to anybody. And at this point, like nobody knew about any of the abuse, and nobody really knew what had happened. They just knew that they were gone, and it was pretty fucking miserable. But the second that I just started talking to just anybody, and even if like nothing got resolved, even if they didn't say anything back, like I think, just going over it in your head at least especially at first when it's something like this crazy. Because it took me like a week or so just to even
like actually like understand what was going on. It's going over it over and over and over in your head. And just because a lot of people try and avoid thinking about stuff and every now and then, yeah, you got to give yourself a break, but you're not going to get over anything if you're not working it out. So I would say the best thing that is for me and my mental health has been talking to my friends just about what's going on or just anything. Really.
Yeah, I mean no, when you keep it in your head, you it just it just it goes exactly. It's not about uh like I guess the response. It's about like getting it out of your head and talking about it, because if it just stays in your head, it rattles and becomes a fucking hurricane.
Yeah. Yeah. And what I found was that in situations of abuse, if you don't talk about it and then it keeps going on for so long, you just get used to it and then you don't know that you're being abused. Because it took again like a week after they left for me to be like, oh shit, yeah,
this has been an abusive relationship. And that was because I was talking to my friends about it, and just because I mean, and because she's been telling me it's been my fault and that it's because I make her mad and all these things that I do or whatever. And I believed her because I wasn't talking to anybody else. But the second I talked to anybody else, and I mean, I was feeling like I was a horrible father, a horrible husband. She made me feel fucking worthless every fucking day.
But yeah, the second I started talking to people, I very quickly realize like, oh no, I'm the one that has been doing everything right and she's the evil person here. So just talking to people, you might even realize some huge thing that's been going on in your life for a fucking decade that you didn't even really have any idea about, and you'll feel better about it afterwards because he talked about it. But the therapist would be good.
Too, Tyler, I'm going to pray for you, my brother.
Thank you.
I appreciate that I'm not religious, and I was for a long time very anti religious, but I've grown to appreciate people praying for me.
Hey man, neither am I I'm just I'm just praying. I've been trying to like, I'm not religious at all, but I'll just like, I'll just I'll just clasp my hands and shake them like a Morocca, and that's I do it.
Occasionally, the Morocca, probably the Moraca prob like an actual Morocca would By God, would I hear you better if you did that?
Tyler? Thanks for sharing all this stuff. This is this is really cool.
Thank yeah, thanks for thanks for talking. I've been calling for several weeks and I think I may have been rude to you one time.
Wait what do you think? Well? When?
When?
When? When were you rude to me?
I think I got through. I wasn't sure because I was like going back and forth on my phone and I had called like a bunch of times and kept leaving different names, and then there was one that I was like, are you gonna fucking answer what? And then I switched back to the twitch and I heard like the very end of it, I think, And You're like, well, not if you're going.
To be like that, And I was like, fuck, well, I forgive you.
That's really why I called forgiven for that.
Yeah, Hi, you you were forgiven? Tyler. Okay, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Let's talk to people, talk to your friends, talk to your and also, if you go with your wife or husband or long term boyfriend or girlfriend a fun date night could be you could go to your local mental health facility and you could both take some sort of mental health exam to make sure that nobody is going to go insane and kid is that.
I don't know if. I don't know if I would call that a date night, But that sounds pretty nice. Actually, that would be a fun first date to have.
That would be fun.
That'd be a fun I don't know if that. I don't know if that's a good date night for a five year relationship, but it's probably a good thing to do. Yeah, but that would be a fun.
Care of your mental health is what I would say to the people of the world. Good luck, Tyler, take care you too, thinks man.
You know, folks, I've I've thought a billion thoughts and I've spoken to a billion people, and all I really have gleaned from it is that life is fucking crazy. So dear best, I guess attention listeners of the Therapy
Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do a live version of this podcast on stage in person, in front of real people, And that I'm doing this live show in several cities across the United States and Europe this fall, And that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or at the link in the episode description. It is all true. I'm currently on my third tour doing Therapy Gecko Live. All around the country and it is the most fun, sick, amazing thing ever and you
should come out and be a part of it. The shows involve a mix of material and presentations from myself combined with a group Gecko therapy session where members of the audience come on stage to share things from their lives in front of a big group of people, just like we do here on the podcast. Whether you're a fan of the podcast or you have no idea what this is and you clicked on it by accident, you're gonna have a great time at the live show once again.
Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com or at the link in the episode description. These are really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable, and I hope to see you guys there.
From Sam.
Hello, Hi, what is your name?
My name is Kiwi or Kulley Sam.
Either or what's going on? Sam?
Oh? My god? I am I am freaking out right now. I'm so sorry?
How uh? How what would you? What did you? What would you like to talk about on the Gecko podcast today?
Give me one, give me one second month. I want to talk about moving to Australia. Oh, yeah, yeah, where from California?
What's bringing you to Australia.
I am leaving everything behind. I am sick and tired of the way my family treats me. And I've been talking to all my friends in Australia and they are so down to bring me over there.
Okay. I have two questions. First of all, how old are you?
I am twenty okay.
And you just said I heard you just now. You were like, hey, mom, give me one second. You're with your mom right now.
No, she just knocked on my door.
Oh okay. And you why are you? What's wrong with the way that your family treats you?
They are extremely religious, religious, and homophobic. So that's fun.
Okay. And so let me understand. So you are do you have a job? Are you in school? I?
I do. I did have a job. I just got fired like a week ago.
Okay. What's tell me about the plan to move to Australia.
Okay, So it's like a long story. But like for the past eight years or so ever, since like my stepdad came into the pictures, like my life has just been like terrible. Oh my god, I am I'm still geeking out right now. I'm so sorry.
Are you all right?
Are you?
Are you all right?
Brother?
I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just like super excited. I have been a major fan of the show. I've I've watched you since uh the guy with the rivalry between the top Gobel and the McDonald Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's a classic one. That's a classic one.
I will get the Tugo bill.
But so okay, so so sure, if you want to give me the backstory, you can give me the backstory. But then I'm curious about what the plan is to have how are you going to get there?
So I am currently looking for a job, and I have like a couple aspects like up and coming. One of them is becoming a warehouse worker where I will be making twenty eight an hour because my neighbor is actually getting me that.
Job twenty eight astro twenty eight Australian dollars an hour, no American. Oh, it's actually that's pretty good.
Yeah, And hopefully you know he's like he's not like a hiring manager there, but he's like up in rank at that company. So hopefully by the end of this week I should be hearing back from him or like the company, and you know, it's looking pretty promising. So twenty eight dollars an hour, ten hour workdays, it's gonna
be crazy. I'm gonna be fucking loaded and I'm going to be So we're like, me and my Australian friends were kind of like still talking about it, but we're hoping to have me over there by March.
And what's in where? Well a few questions. Where in Australia gone Adelaide, Adelaide, Adelaide? Hell yeah, I went to Adelaide a year ago. It's a fun, fun town. How what's the visa ship looking like?
Uh, we're we're just gonna get We're we had we're talking about that currently. We're like they're giving me all the information that I need personally to get over there, but there's still like plans in motions that I have to do before that because I am a trans person male to female, So part one of this plans it's already in motion. I have my like specialist appointment to get me on hormones coming up within the next three weeks.
It's going to be August, I believe. The twenty second is when I go in to see my specialist.
Wait, but how is this is this related to the visa situation of how you have how you're gonna get to Australia.
No, okay, so this is like plans before I go to Australia. Like we're we're talking. We're talking like we're getting me on the prescription so that it's easier for me to get it in Australia and I don't have to go through the entire process again. Sure, and then after that it's going to be a legal name change. After that, that's when we're going to do the visa m And everything is being so fast, and it's just like it's looking super promising.
That's very exciting. I think, well, look, I think if you have a job lined up there and you have friends lined up there, I think twenty is actually a pretty good age to be like fuck it, I'm just gonna leave my where I live and go to Australia.
No.
I mean, like seriously, like the other night, like it's always something in this house, Like I can just be like, hey, I'm going to go out with like by myself or something like I'm a I'm a big magic the Gathering fan. So when I was working, I would go to like pre releases and tournaments and stuff like that. And it was always an issue with like my mom and stepdad. They're like, oh, well, when are you going to come back?
When is this? When is that? I'm like, I'm twenty years old already, Like you don't have to be on my ass, like I'm going to be home before like ten.
Well that's well, well, well, well what's your name again?
My name is Sam?
Sam? Well Sam, that's less of an issue of that's just like in life. In life, it's like, look, all you have to do to not be under your parents rule is like, you know, make enough money that you don't have to live at their house, you know, no, And it sounds like and it sounds like you have an I mean, look, if you're telling if what you're telling me is true, and you can line up a twenty eight dollars an hour, twenty eight US dollars an hour job working in Adelaide and uh, you know, you
don't have to go bankrupt. I have no idea what the you know, uh bureaucracy of of you know, going to work in Australia. I don't know how expensive it is and job. But if you tell me that, if you tell me that everything is working out really well. Then I'm incredibly excited for you. This sounds sounds really cool.
The job, the job is here in the States, So I'm gonna try to save up at least eight.
Grand, at least eight grand and eight So so you're so you have a job lined up in California.
This is not in Australia.
Yeah, this is in California.
Oh okay, I thought you were moving. I thought you had a job lined up in Australia.
No, I wish, Oh my god.
So okay, So this is a long term plan that you're talking about here.
This is like a year top plan.
Okay, all right, So we are going to work at this. We're gonna work fucking whatever fifty hours a week at our warehouse job in California. We're gonna live at our parents' house, and we're gonna save up a bunch of money until we can eventually afford to move to Australia. That's what you're telling me.
Yes, I like that plan.
I think that's a cool plan.
And you want to know what the best part of that plan is. I'm leaving without saying.
A word to your family, to my family.
I'm just gonna disappear in the night I'm leaving. All I'm gonna do is gonna leave a note be like I'm out ease pieces. Fuck you guys.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting along with your family.
It's always been an issue with my family, to be honest.
So the plan, So have you looked into what the costs are of immigrating to Austria.
We have so to get a visa. I believe it's like three fifty. They told me to like just apply for it. You have to put down like three fifty or something like that.
Okay, And so the plan, what are you gonna do when you get to Adelaide?
First thing when I get to Adelaide, I'm moving in with my friend sharky mm hmm. And like first week of me getting situated, you know, we're gonna go to like a furniture store, get me a bed. Like I'm I'm selling everything like within this year that I that I'm that I plan on leaving. I'm selling everything that I have, my TV, my PlayStation, fucking books, anime like you know.
Shoot, people want okay.
To also like contribute to the fund.
So do you have plans for like what, By the way, I'm not trying. Here's here's here's like what I like. My genuine feeling is like I think that you know, at twenty is actually a pretty good age to be like, fuck it, I'm gonna move to Adelaide with no plan and just fucking get there and then I'll figure it
out from there. I actually like that idea. I just I'm just like, Okay, how do we get a baseline so that you don't uh starve and die or honestly even less even less dramatic than that, just you like, you know, having to be like I don't know, dependent on your friends for money or like just shit like that.
You know what I'm saying. You don't want to You just don't want to get You just want to like you know, you are like like I like again again, I like the idea of taking a big risk, but I would plan it out, legit sticklarly enough so you're like, I'm not going to end up in like a fucking situation where you know, shark heat turns out to be crazy and you know I have to rely on them for said you know, you just know what I'm talking about.
Well, I mean, yeah, I know what you're talking about, but it's like I'm gonna have enough money to where I wouldn't have to rely on them. So, like I said, I want to save up eight thousand, at minimum eight thousand US d and I believe that translates to like nine or ten k in aud.
I'm sorry, can you say that one more time?
I'm gonna save up about eight thousand US dollars And I believe I found that too, like I wouldn't. Don't take my word for it, but I believe it translate is to like nine to ten k and aud.
Aud Australian dollars are worth sixty five percent. If you you take an Australia, you take whatever you have in US dollars and you divide it by point sixty five and that's what you got in Australia.
I thought it was more. Wait, do you have Google or divide it? Is it times? Did? I thought it was time you divide it?
You divide it. So you take your eight thousand dollars, you divide you you go in your calculator app, you type eight thousand divided by point sixty five and that is how much you will have in Australian dollars.
No, but I mean one one American dollars is sixty sixty seven cents in aud I believe.
Uh, I don't think you're you will have If you take your American money, you will have more and converted to Australian dollars it will be more money. Yeah, yeah, Okay, we're on the same page. Whatever. Whatever we're arguing about something that's google We're not arguing. We're discussing something that is googleable. But anyway, whatever, math aside, what are you gonna do when you get when you get.
There, I don't I don't know. I think I'm just gonna live life like I'm gonna enjoy life the fullest. Finally, spread my wings man, you know. Cool cool, And also, don't tell the Australian government. But I think I'm gonna be smuggling weed seeds.
Sam, I'm gonna give you some advice, all right, Okay, you, as you are attempting to immigrate into this country, I strongly advise you keep no secrets from the Australian governments.
But but I mean, come on, how am I gonna live without looking to weeds?
Weeds isn't weed. We's fucking legal in Australia, isn't it?
No, it's not.
Oh, I'll find Listen, you, you, you and sharky. You can probably find weed in about two seconds. You don't need to bring it a seed. You don't need to shove seeds up your ass and bring them to Australia.
Hey, I never said anything about shoving them up my ass.
Okay again saying look, I'm excited for you. I just uh, you know, don't don't don't don't do anything to pissed off Australia, right because you like you don't wanna, don't don't smuggle weed into Australia.
Okay, maybe, okay, okay, maybe the second time I come back to Australia. Let's say I go back to California. Let's say I forget something or you know, I go back for some reason, some some reason, some way, I go back. Right, Can I can?
I can I give you? Can I give you another? Can I give you another piece of advice?
What's up?
Have you thought about? You've never been there? Right? I have not considered you can? Have you considered taking a trip before you move?
I have not, But plane tickets are like super expensive. It's like two K right now, and I'm just for a one way.
All right, Well, so you have about so so you've you've decided that Okay, logistically, if I stay in my family house for a year, then I'll have enough to go.
Mm hmm.
Why do you want to leave your family with? Why do you why do you want to leave your family without saying anything to them?
Because like the it's it's hard like living here, Like I'm like ninety nine percent sure after I hang up the phone with you, my mom's gonna be like, who the fuck are you on the phone with talking about Australia? Okay, Like okay, so my my my parents are very transphobic, like they said, if I'm ever to start start that whole thing, you know, I will never be welcomed in their house.
I'm sorry to hear that. I I genuine I really am. I'm I'm I'm very sorry to hear that. I think it's a bummer that your family, Uh you know it doesn't is like that. So yeah, uh but I just again the really the theme of what I am trying to get at in this is that you know, I'm as good that you're excited, but make sure you got your logistics down before you just move one way to a foreign country. But again, I mean, it's worked out for some people, So I don't know.
Just don't die, I mean how I mean, the only way I die getting to Australia is if the plane crashes or if I have a fucking panic attack on a plane and have a heart attack. Also, I've never flown in a plane before, so that's that's also fun.
Just I guess the thing that worries me is you're like, is you're like, fuck it, I'm gonna go one way and you know, I'll stay it my homies house and I'm gonna bring we there. But don't tell anyone.
Hey, you're you're you're revealing the secret man.
Come on, don't keep secrets Sam for the don't keep any secrets from the Australian government. All right, Well, okay, before we go, is there any other aspect of this that you wanted to talk about or think through or anything like that.
I want to know what you think about it. Should I should I at least give a goodbye?
Should you at least give a goodbye to your family? That I actually was thinking about that because you told me that you were gonna leave without saying a note, and I was trying to think about what I think about that. At the end of the day, It's like, to me, what would make you feel good?
Right? Mm hmm.
And I'm not talking about what would make you feel good in the moments. I'm talking about you know, when you're older and you look back on everything, like, what what's the decision that's going to make you feel like you did everything you could?
Right? Well? I mean well, like from my perspective, right, I see it as like, you know, like if I'm to start doing what i want to do with my body, I'm not welcome to see my family ever again. And you know, it kind of sucks because I do have younger siblings, you know, like I've seen both of them grow up and to know that, like, if I'm to do what I want to do, if I want to be happy, I can't see them be happy, if that makes sense.
Your siblings, Yeah, how old are your siblings?
I have a thirteen year old sister and a six year old little brother.
Okay, and are you cool with them? You have a good relationship with them?
My sister for sure, okay, and not your brother well, I mean he's younger. You know, I'm always like watching him.
So when you say you're going to leave without saying anything, does that mean you're going to not say anything to them too?
I don't know. I feel like I might tell my sister Ruby, but at the same time, I'm like, I don't want to break her heart.
Well again, I'll ask you again. I mean, what do you think would make you feel is the right way to move forward? Also also also you have a year to think about this.
I do have a year to think about this. But it's like, God, it's like with how fast everything's moving right now, It's just like it time's gonna fly.
How fast is everything moving? Yeah, you don't even have any of the anything, but I have you have you have you applied for an Australian visa yet?
Okay?
No?
Not yet?
Okay, dog, dog, this ain't moved. Dog, this ain't moving as fast as you think it is. If you all have any of the paperwork or the job or the like it like it's all again, I really like, I don't. I don't want to be a downer. I believe in the vision, but like Jesus not You're not moving to Australia tomorrow.
I know, I know, I know that, but it's like, like, for the next year, I'm going to have to hide my medication from fucking everyone because remember I'm seeing a specialist on the twenty second of this month, I'm gonna have to go black ops. Okay, it's secret operation.
Well I again, I'm I'm sorry that your your family has has made the mistake of uh, of their love being conditional.
It's always been that way. I mean, I've gotten used to it. Like I've been called the F slurry, the T slurry, you know, being told I'm gonna go to hell because I want to live this way, and it's just like I hear it so often. I'm like, yeah, maybe you're right, but like, at least I'm gonna be happy.
Is there anything else you want to say or talk about or anything like that before we go? Uh?
I do want to say one thing because I know my coworker who made me lose my job listens to the podcast.
Mm hmm.
So like I, like I said at the beginning of this call, I lost my job and this is because a girl at my work who is a terrible person to work with. She'll make her dumb ass comments like oh, you're fat, you're this, you're that, and I'm just like, can you do shut the fuck up. I'm trying at work right. She even told me I was going to hell one. You know, I know she listens to this podcast. So fuck you, Jackie, you big back bitch. I fucking hate you.
No, No, Sam, don't do Sam. Don't Sam. I want to Sam.
Look, okay, you can cut that out. You can cut that out. You can cut that out.
No, dude, it's just like.
Dude, he accused me of stealing from the store.
Look, fucking let them. I don't know. I'm Sam. I I I'll Sam, I I I really uh I. I hope, I'll hope you're find happiness in your life.
I am happy. I am happy. I am happy.
I'm happy to I'm happy to hear that. Well, good luck. I hope you make many Australian dollars. I hope you. You know you get to hang out in the Kangaroo's pouch and uh you to Koala and do all the fun things you get to do over there. Have a good night, Sam.
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, Lyle.
What what's up?
One thing before I go okay, I want to thank you for everything you've done, man like best. You've gotten me through some tough ship.
Dude.
The calls are the best, and man, I just want to thank you for having me on again, like you don't talk for no I have called you literally just today, I called you two hundred and twenty times just to get.
In Well, Sam, thanks for listening, good good luck. Just I just hope, I hope it all works out for you. All right, have a good night, Say.
Thank you you too, Love you.
That was interesting. I have a lot of thoughts about that. Again, I want to reiterate a few things. One is, I genuinely do believe that if there ever was a time to move to a foreign country and abandon all you know, it's probably like high risk decisions are probably better made when you're younger than when you're older. You know, you don't have kids, you don't have a family, you don't
really have any responsibility. You're really only responsibility is to eat enough food and sleep inside enough that you don't die. So as long as you can, as long as you can meet that responsibility, you're probably good. I the whole thing about like whether or not Sam should say goodbye
to their family. I was really thinking about that because it is a bummer when you're when your family is like, you know, I'm a family's fight and there's you know, things that people like don't like or don't approve of or whatever, and you can kind of like reconcile that, but to have it like be at the point where like you can't be in I can't. I won't be
in your life anymore, you know, I won't. You know, even if I don't approve of this thing or don't like this, it's it's not even like I don't approve, but like of you know, you're my you're my child, like that nothing will ever change that, you know. I think when it goes beyond that to a point of like you can't be in the house, you can't fucking call me, it's it's sad. But I'm also like Sam was saying a bunch of things where I was like, slow,
slow down for a second. Here, let's let's let's make sure we know the conversion rate of the currency first. Uh know, the bureaucracy involved in doing the stuff that we want to do, So I don't know I hope. I hope they're all right. I hope they do stuff, and I hope everything works out. I like I like Adelaide. Shout out to uh, where the fuck did I do my show? There? The Lions something. I had a good time, so yeah. Shout out Australia, Shout out life, God bless
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