Hello, Hello, Hi, what's your name?
To get the jez jezz?
What's up?
Jezz?
No?
I stood? What are you up to?
Not much? Are you calling from Australia?
Oh yeah, cool? Yeah, I mean Australia. It's not very sunny and hot out writing.
Do you guys have a lot of civil rights in Australia?
Civil rights? Yeah?
Like, cause I don't know, like I keep all right, So I've been thinking a lot about America, and I'm like, you know, America, we're like, well, like we get like our whole thing is like we have a lot of freedom right, But I'm like, there are a lot of places that kind of have that.
Yeah, we did have.
Protected I don't know the state. Sorry, h We do have rights, but they're not constitutionally protected like they are in the US. For example, hate speech laws that have just been created, like they sort of take away the right to free speech from certain groups.
Interesting, there was a guy getting arrested here. I know, man, I don't know. I know a lot of bad shit's going on in America right now. But I was like, there's this guy. This guy got arrested outside of my apartment like a little bit down the street and Uh, this guy's getting arrested, and this other guy was like went up to the cop and started screaming at him and went like, go, suck a fucking dick, Suck a fucking dick, you, suck a dick, Suck a fucking dick.
Fuck you, suck a fucking dick. Fuck you. And I was like there and I was like and I was like I watched that. I was like, that is kind of awesome. I'm like, that is America working as it was intended to, because there's so many places in the world where if you did that to like a police officer, you would die.
Yeah.
In Australia, you get like trying to set really well yeah, like it couldn't. It's so like you're impeding the process of law enforcement. I guess, Well, he wasn't.
Okay, he wasn't like getting up in his face about it, but he was like he was standing like he's standing, you know, a respectful enough distance away, but still.
Yelling that oh and just tackling in. Yeah.
Can you guess So if that happened in Australia, would that guy get arrested?
Yeah?
I would well, dependently context like, but yeah, if they get going for like suit like a super long time, they'll get screwed, Like they will get arrested and like sty'll have some ship thrown at them for no reason. It's like it's a pretty like and in Australia as well, like it's not very well known, but like judges at the courts will try and make examples out of people because of like certain crimes that they're trying to reduce. I'm like a crazy story about that happening to my brother.
Oh really yeah, like strapping his nuts. So my brother was in a situation where some people were trying to like murder him, right, Oh my god. And yeah, so they're like they had him like tied up, They're like injected him with some sort of thing that made him pass out, and he like woke up and during like trying to escape, he killed this guy.
Right wait, so wait, so this so your brother, someone was trying to murder your brother, and then your brother escaped, and then while escaping he had to like he killed someone.
Yeah, because he was in like a car and he was like locked inside it with these guys. Wow, and there was a convenient like yeah a knife in the back and yeah kind of kind of murphed this guy whoa Yeah, but at the time in Australia there was this massive problem with like kids bringing knives to school and just like a massive rising knife crime. So instead of and you have like the self defense aspect coming into play for him, as like his wife was threatened,
he's had the whole book thrown out him. You go, I think like thirty years or something like that, considerations your self deferse Wow, yeah, man, yeah, I'll be like fifty five when he gets.
Out, I think.
Damn. So he's in right now.
Yeah, and you'll be in prison for another twenty three years. I think.
Jesus Christ, how how old was he when that happened.
I think he was like like early twenties, like twenty to twenty three.
Dude, jeezus crazy sool that's super fuck. Do you visit him?
Oh No, I don't. I kind of set contact with him because I was in a job where I wasn't about to visit prison, and then I just sort of shout out of contact with him.
Wait, you were in a job where you weren't allowed to visit prisons.
Yeah, I was in the military, so and like I wasn't allowed to go visit prisons while I was serving.
Interesting.
Yeah, and I also have like a like a strange relationship with him, so it's kind of hard too.
Why did you have a strange relationship with him?
Oh, like like strange, Like it was very difficult.
Because he was he wasn't like he wasn't the greatest.
Role model, Like he was not not a bad egg, but he was up to no good and made it very hard for like me growing up because it was like a small area. Have we lived there, and yeah, made mama pretty hard.
What was the I mean not like like oh okay, so he would go around cars in trouble and making a bad name for the family in a small area and then you're associated with him, so it's putting, it's making your life harder to kind of thing.
Yeah, absolutely, like because people would like Carnie was the same brush, I guess.
You'd call it. Like they would be like, oh, that's like this guy's.
Brother, even though I was like the completely opposite of like a normal dude doing normal things and like I'd get like pulled over and have my car like sirch like once a week and by the police. You're not like I've never been to the police station before. Wow, finally, like, yeah, it was pretty ridiculous. So you know, it's I should visit him, but I it's I don't like to. I guess going in prisons.
Do I.
Do you have siby other siblings besides him?
Uh no, it's just me.
And do your parents visit him?
Yeah, pretty frequently. And I like, look house sit for them while they're gone. I guess that's my contribution.
You guys go visit you guys go visit my brother. I'll water the plants while you're gone.
Yeah, I watered the points, look after the dogs and all. That's great.
Yeah, no, that's that is definitely a better part of the gig for sure. That's a better end of the deal for you.
Yeah, it's sometimes it's annoying, but because it's always on like a Saturday, not i'ld say there because you like, but my friends had to travel, like like it's a ten hour around trip to visit whoa really yeah, and it's like driving to there's no flight to that sort of area.
What I mean, I don't want to. I don't want you to doc yourself. But like so he's wait, which city do you live?
In.
Uh I didn't like Canbra like they.
No, I know camera, it's the fucking yeah, it's the capitol. I know Camebra. I'm hip.
You got to come to sometime, saga, you got to come to camera sometimes comedy camera, like just come heat for sure.
Uh yeah I did. I did an Australia tour fucking almost three years ago. Now I didn't hit Canberra, but uh I had a good time.
Man.
I like Australia, but yeah, I didn't hit Canberra. What are do you know what prisons are like in Australia, Like you know how okay, like you know how in fucking Denmark and stuff, like the prisons are super nice? Are they nice? There?
Have you?
Do you have any idea?
No?
Yeah, I say, like I I know from like my brother and I have a couple of like preendid and stuff that have been inside. And it's pretty fucked like there's a lot, like a lot of a lot of like drug use like different often which is like an
opio to replacement therapy. Everyone's like on that, and it's it's like getting stuff in there, like it's pretty similar to it's not like people will go in there for like maybe tax fraud for like six months and they'll come out just like ten times worse than the first and they like entered prisondents. WHOA, it's not a it's not something that reforms to people. Since I want to say the length of I went in a length of time, so my docksity.
But my brother was in.
Prison before he's this now sentence. So he was in, he got out and he went back and people the reoffending rate in Australia is just nuts.
Wait, so hold on, so your brother got out like fully out and then he just like committed another crime. What would happen?
Yeah, so he was in for like this. I think he was like got a quiet with someone who was an assaulting and he was in for like a like a short spent of time like a team months, and then he was out and then he ended up like reascending and going back in.
Oh like okay, so the so he's in right now for the knife thing, but he went to prison before that.
Yes, yeah, he went to prison before. For a second.
Dude, why was who who the fuck was trying to kill your brother?
Junkie say, it's like.
Not like some you said, you said some junkie.
Yeah, it was some junkies, and it was like they're all just like on my god, I think it is like nassive stuff. I don't know if the problem was that they were, and apparently it was because it was like over a girl. Fuck man, it was like the most crazy situation.
You seem like go ahead, sorry, oh no, you you go uh you seem it suck. I don't know if it's just because it's in the past or whatever, but you seem like you're you're at this point fairly like detached from your brother.
It was very detached from my life in general. It's the same m hm, like I just you sort of got it. Just you like you can't create it, like you can't make it like always bad ship your identity. Otherwise it would just like each you inside, like each you up. Oh yeah, if you like stay like in like you like you still acknowledge that these things are, like you know, they're terrible things and they have profound impact on your life, but you can't like make that
who you are. And it's like people like see you and it's like, oh, this is the person that had this thing happened to them and that thing.
Yeah, right totally.
Mm hmm. It can be seen as weakness, and then people who could dreap it was weak and then they, you know, they could take advantage of yours mm hmmmm hmm in that manner which I've experienced before.
M hmm.
Yeah, I mean that makes one hundred percent. Uh, that makes a hundred sent success. That makes one hundred percent sense that like, you don't want to be fucking defined by the bad ship that happens to you. But okay, they want to ask you this because you said, we talked about your brother a little bit. We just got on the subject kind of randomly. You said, you're feeling detached in general.
Yeah, just from like like holding on to the past.
I'd say, hmm, oh, okay, do you feel detached from the present.
I'll live in the moment, but like the moment leaves me quite quickly, like the something bad happens, it won't be with me the next day.
Mm hmmm.
How much as like terrible course.
But it doesn't.
Don't let it like consume me. I try not to the least, but.
I thought, I guess, uh, okay, so just you're not like depressed, You're just like living in the moment.
Oh oh I am yeah, okay, sorry, definitely I didn't diagnose that. I don't take anything for medication wise.
Mm hmm.
How old are you?
M twenty five?
Twenty five five? You're twenty five. Do you live with your parents?
No?
I live by myself. Pretty pretty chill. I want to like a I was in the in the military. I broke my back and shit, the more fucked up.
So its like.
I have a pension just hang out fucking great, but not really it sucks.
Yeah.
So so.
Okay, you were in the military and you broke your back. What happens?
Oh, it was just like just during like doing like army ship. Just like I've had like an initial injury that it got worse and worse and then there's a point was like paralyzed for a little while. That one was fun m h And yeah, it gets to a point where they do it thing. It's like they medically discharging it. So they say you're like you're fucked up man, So you're like, how old on you have?
How long do you have money for? Like do you do they just like pay you for for like the rest of your life.
Yeah, it's like the VA over there likes it's called d VA here like Department of Veterans are Fair and yeah, basically like it's not my plan to be like on it for the rest of my life because I like to study. But like I know people who have been on it for like thirty years, and a lot of them fucked up. But I think they're they are that way because they've like remained in like the mindset of what happened to them, of the discredit like what they've done.
But it, as I was saying, like they never detached themselves from that life. So what you're saying, the laways have to be this this way because it becomes identity. I know a guy and he's fifty five ish, he's like fifty five and like he's that's only like twenty thirty years ago, like cynically but mentally, like no, he's still there.
He like.
Still like like he sees himself as above tea people due to the rank he had or under some people I say, had to hire one. And he acts like everything he does is in this sense. But because you never let it go, you've got severe PTSD, you're never in like an environment that.
Have fostered growth MM hmmm.
So I don't really hang out with people in a similar situation as me.
Mm hmm.
We're just yeah, we're all like see like I've read it it's from time to sign with my friends, but I don't talk about how bad it was all the time.
So I assume is this is this a conditional pension? Meaning can you if you start to work again or make an income or file anything on your taxes, does it go away?
So yeah, partially, it's so there's like one organization that's like for life understood, like until you get a job that meets or exceeds the level of the job that you're doing, like in the military. So that's like if let's say you were like like an accountant in the army, for example, if you become an accountant in like the normal world, then you'll lose defension. But if you're in the infantry, there's like no job that compares to that,
so you'll have it forever. And then there's another organization that like calculates like hours and it basically once you start working like over twenty hours a week, they just like cut that like h off of your pension.
So it ends up being like.
Like twenty five percent less fortunately for your whole pension because you've worked. But it's it kind of doesn't work out very well. There is like there's little there's very little incentive to work at nine to five for people in this edition because they earn more money not doing so.
Yes, that bad. So let's talk about you. So you're uh you said, I have a pension, so I don't really have to do anything, which is awesome but also sucks.
Yeah.
So yeah, are you are you? Are you?
Are?
You?
Can you walk?
Yeah? I can, like like pretty much every moment of my life I've since I've been in pain. Mm hmmm. And like I went to like I rehab impatient facility. It wasn't like a rehabit was a mental health thing. But because I was taking this like like a lethal amount of pain killers every day, and I got into something a bit better. And like the hand off is like I'm awakened, present in the day, but I'm in like a like an amount of pain, so I have to tolerate or I can just be like not it
out in my mind all day. So I got off the painments and it's like a walk. I can't run, I can't stand for that long, I walk that far. Yeah, I have like lifting problems and ships.
Yeah, like it's.
Crazy like to be it's actually normal. But it's like people like twenty five shouldn't be that fucked up. It's like, yeah, it's pretty bad.
Hmmm. So you said, uh, you said that staying on the pension is not your plan because you studied. So what's uh what's that future? It seems like you have a you have a lot of future aspirations all this notwithstanding, what do those look like?
Yeah? I just want to like so like me and a friend of getting into like business issue, Like he's looking at opening back to retail. So it's like building up front and doing stuff because it's just like something to do.
Kick ass. Wait, that'd be sick. Where what's the stock?
Yeah, like probably likasto, that'd be awesome. It sounds terrible. So like we have there's like a like obviously like maybe I don't know about in America, but they're kind of in like a cost of living crisis here in Australia is what they say, but it's really a recession. It's probably the same in the States. It's like everything's too expensive.
At the moment, Yes, happening in the States.
Yeah, the last things people give up in these trying times is tobacco, our whole and drugs and like in it's coming. But like I don't know, people could buy wherever they go. They're going to buy it from somewhere. And if you to prove yourself, because I've watched during COVID,
like like many people know their own businesses. If their businesses product was incompatible with the way like COVID changed the world and now we had to live in that time, they went under where it was like if it was a business that's sold let's say active, where the good people were all wearing that and going walking around their neighborhood, something they could do, that business would saw. But regardless of what happens in the world, everyone's going to keep drinking,
shoking cigarettes. And it just means that your business doesn't have to collapse and you have to fear something coming.
I don't find no, I don't I don't find no, I don't. I don't find that inherently scummy at all. There's a billion people who who own liquor stores. I mean, I just I think I like you know, I think starting your own. Starting a business is cool. Plus you can give it like an old timey what's your what's your name? Jazz jazz?
Well name's name like stuff of that Jay as well, so we're gonna call like Jay and Jas. It was like, I don't know those I like it.
No, no, no, I like it.
I like it.
A liquor store, tobacco store, fucking street club, whatever it is. It's fun.
Oh gosh, we should start a stream.
Start a strip club. It's fun starting just it's fun. The idea. I don't care what's in the building. I don't care if you are. It's like, uh, you know, you could do a you could do a place where people go to euthanize their dogs. Whatever it is. It's like, whatever happens in the building, who cares. I'm saying that to have a building and then put your your like ohn name on it is cool. I think it's a good thing to do. That's fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, Like I don't know, because he needs a reason to just get out of bed and keep going every day, and I need something like I don't I don't wait, I'm can'd be passionate about like someone else's business, and I don't want somebody yell at me on them like a boss or something.
That's like the worst thing at all.
And so you can be your own boss and it's any like any fuck ups you have on you that any success you have is yours. You should. I find it is really hard to get like being employed by someone.
Where When will JJ's liquor be open for business? That's when I'll go to Canberra.
Hopefully the next like six months, maybe both sponsor event we'll get sucked up.
All right, all right, all right, listeners of this podcast. Six Okay, I'm dude. Six months from now, we're all gonna go to fucking Google Maps and go to Canberra and search for J J Jay and Jay's Liquors. All right, cool, all right, all right. Six months from now, I'm gonna go on Google Map. Sixcess from now, I'm gonna go on Google Maps. I'm gonna say a reminder of six months. Someone reminds me. I'm not gonna remember. Someone reminds me
if if if anyone cares. Yeah, in six months from Saturday February seventh, twenty twenty six, I'm gonna go to find Camber on my Google Map and search for J and j lickuors and if it's there, Oh fuck, I'm gonna fucking prank call you guys.
Fuck. Yeah, No, that's good. Sometimes you need a little bit of a push.
Putting in that. That's what I could get you thirsty.
I should do something now?
Yeah wait, were you not gonna do it?
Were just is?
It was this?
Just no? No, I'll do it all right? Yeah you better. I want to st oh, I mean do it? What don't do it? Whenever you can get it? You know, well, all right seven months from now, I'll give you an extra month.
Yeah, it seems just yes, like at the moment we're doing planning and stuff. It's just like finance thing like payouts to come into stuff like that.
How much money do you need to open a liquor store in a suburb of Canberra?
Yeah, well be like twenty thousand Astralian It was probably like like one hundred and twenty thousand US.
Oh okay, it's not a crazy amount of money to like start a business.
Yeah, it's not terrible. Like you've got to sort of strike gold, like you've got to find a place suitable and like all of that stuff.
Yeah, it's a strike it's like it's a it's a heavy investment and a heavy risk, but it's not those aren't like they're like worse upstart courses for like starting ship. Yeah, you can probably get a lot to do that. Are you gonna get a loan?
Yeah? Oh no, I just paid for it right over. Like yeah, when you like broken, say it's something that not all out right, there'll be a bit bit of alone, but we'll try. Like we've got like fut savings and stuff.
You do it?
Yeah, just who likes it?
I'm happy for you, Jazz. I'm I actually do appreciate you. I appreciate that you're continuing to like live your life like then like actually do it. It's pretty sweet.
Thanks, man, appreciate that. Mm hm yeah. I've seen a lot of people not do that, and it's just who I don't want to be. I know what the hate on there, it's just you know, someone en.
Up like that.
Jazz, Yo, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer about your life or about life itself? Before we go?
Yeah? Just keep going. Yeah, thank yak.
Bless you, Jazz, thank you for calling.
Okay, bless you, Tay, take care man.
You see like fight.
All right, let me just make sure I'm gonna go to Google Maps. Uh can burruh, Australia. All right, what a funny looking city. There's a big hole in the middle of it. No, it's not a hole, it's a parliament. Uh Canberra. Okay, I'm gonna search Jay and Jay. Okay, there's a J and J pharmacy, Jane and J hare, J and J bagel search JJ liquor store. Oh what the fuck? What? Don't show me some shit in Lynnhurst, New Jersey. I'm in Canberra. I hate Google Maps. I
hate my fucking life. Sorry, let's go back to k Nburah. Sorry, I don't know. I shouldn't yell. Supposed to be a therapeutic show. Okay, how do I search? I want to search here. Okay, Jay and Jay liquor can there? Okay, there's a liquor Okay, there is no currently existing Jay and J liquor. There's a liquor Land warehouse. That's pretty.
That's some.
There's the National Museum of Australia. I don't know what accent that was. Sorry, there's liquor Land Canberra. All right, I don't I I'm here's what I'm realizing is that if I don't stop talking right now, I'm just going to wait J and J Spirit Shop. It's in New York. What the fuck?
All right?
All right, I'm gonna stop talking so that we can move on with this podcast instead of just listening to me use Apple Maps, Google maps, whatever, who cares? Who cares? Hello?
Hi?
Hi? What's your name?
I'm Amy?
Amy. Amy is the name of a famous fictional hedgehog who who is She's not really the love interest of Sonic the Hedgehog, because Sonic the Hedgehog is kind of an auful male. He's he's more or no, rather, he's a Sigma male. He's a little bit more obsessed with going fast and kind of achieving the mission. And Amy Sonic is Amy's love interest, and Amy is always trying to convince Sonic to marry him. But Sonic is just two. He's just truly a hedgehog on his Sigma grindset, and
so Amy is constantly, constantly rebuffed. But she's a nice girl, Amy, you know she's I think when Sonic is finally ready to settle down and start a family, I mean he's only canonically, I think he's sixteen, so he's a little young to get married. But he's sixteen in human years, so in hedgehog years, he might actually be a ripe old.
Hedgehog, right, right, but yeah, proceed not really?
Yes, Okay, so you know Amy. You know Amy Rose the.
Hedgehog vaguely, but yes, I'm familiar.
Well, it's okay. You don't need to because you are not a fictional character. You're a your own human being. You're a real person named Amy or fake named Amy. What's up, Amy? How's life?
It's good? I just got home some more. My husband went to go play a one piece tournament. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that.
I know the anime one piece, but I didn't know that. It's like, how's is it a game? How's it a tournament?
Yeah? So they recently started two years ago, I think it was two years ago. They started their own like trading cards, kind of similar to Pokemon. And at first he was just kind of like hoarding cards. It was becoming a huge issue because he's getting so much money. But now because he has all this bulk, he's like, well, maybe I'll start playing it for fun. And now he does that, and I just kind of hang out till.
He gets home.
Do you have your own version of one piece card game tournaments? Like, what do you do when he's there? You just hang out?
Well sometimes not really. I'm not as huge into it as he is, just because like mentally, I just don't really care for it. But I do love the anime. I'm a huge fan of it. I just I don't know, I just can't really get my mind around playing a card game sometimes. But no shame to that. Like he loves it, so I'm just there to support. But I just got home while he's doing that.
It's funny, and I thought I was thinking about this today actually is in my own love quest, let's call it. I used to think that I needed somebody who was like perfectly aligned with me on all my interests, you know what I mean, Like like I have a creative job. You know, maybe I want someone who also has a creative job, Like I like all these things. I want someone likes all these things. And I've had the realization
today that, like, I'd like that, but it's not. It's not as much of a necessity to the success of a relationship as I think I always thought it would be.
Right, No, yeah, And I get that because I mean, I mean he and I have been together for this year will be thirteen years, we've been married for five, and I mean, I feel like we do have a lot of things in common, but we're also just very different.
But those are things.
That I like, things that I appreciate.
You know, how old are you?
I am going to be thirty three and he is going to be thirty three as well. We're just six months apart.
Twelve years, so you got together you were twenty one.
Yeah, roughly, if not twenty, like closer to like the end of when I was nineteen ish.
Oh.
Well, after thirteen years, it's like you almost your individual development has been so deeply influenced by one another that it's like.
True, go ahead, No, no, I was just gonna say, even though, yes, like we've been together for so long, like we're each not like the same person we were when we first started dating, or at least I feel like I'm not the same person. I used to be a lot more like reserved and quiet, and now I'm a lot more outspoken. But at the same time, I feel like that's also been influencing him, because he's also very like out spoken and not afraid to like beak his mind. So it slowly made me kind of be
that way. But it also influenced me to kind of reach for things that at first didn't really align with him, if that makes sense. But it was just more like my own goals his own goals. But we still meet in the middle, if that makes sense.
So, Amy, I must ask you, is there a particular reason why you called into the Gecko Show today?
Over.
I've been listening to you for about two three years roughly, maybe more on the two I was actually listening to you on the way home, and when I parked, I saw that you were going live. And I've actually emailed you before. I don't know if you'll remember, and I went by Amy then, so Amy is not my real name, but I had emailed you before regarding that I had like kind of a friendship breakup. I don't know if you remember or if that's ringing any bell.
Yeah, that rings a bell.
Yeah.
I was sitting in a parking lot eating Wendy's and you were taking emails, So I had an email do you while I was eating Wendy's. But yeah, essentially I wanted to talk about my friendship breakup and how it happened in October literally a couple days before my birthday, and that's what made it really hurt. But we actually recently reconnected, but not necessarily to become friends again, if anything to kind of I don't know, clear some air,
which I didn't really could. If anything, it kind of still we're still not friends, but we have more of an understanding of why we're no longer friends. If that makes any sense.
It does make sense. But can I actually, you know, can I get with Can I give you my gut reaction about this? And I feel like it's, yeah, this my gut reaction is like, man, that's a lot of that's a lot of drama and emotion for somebody who's not in your life. You know what I'm saying right now.
And that's totally fair.
You know.
I mean, if one thing, if it was like an ex that you spent a lot of time with or something and whatever. But I don't know, I remember were you like, was this like one of your best friends? This is like a really close person to you?
Yeah, we were best friends since I want to say roughly twenty twelve, twenty thirteen, and we I feel like we had like a lot of things in common, Like we both have moms that are kind of our biggest haters, so we kind of would bond over that, and then we had a lot of music interests. We grew up very similarly, and gradually as we were getting older, we
were just getting closer and closer. And in the last like three four years, I don't know, I felt like things fully started changing between us and we weren't relating to each other as much anymore, and as I recently found out after we talked, she was kind of building I don't know. She described it as almost like an animosity towards me in regards to feeling like I wasn't
always as supportive of her. But then in turn, she said, you were actually very supportive of me and you were always there for me, and I just didn't see that at the time, which I don't know. It didn't make
sense to me. I mean, it makes sense as she was saying it, but then I think of my own experience in our friendship and feeling like I did always try to show up and be there, and it speaked accommodating because for example, she doesn't drive like because she lives in like downtown of my area, so she doesn't really need to drive if she really had to. But I would live like more in the suburb area, so it was I would always be willing and happy to go out of my way to go see her and
hang out do our stuff. And then she wanted to be like, oh, well you're always running me. I'm like one's coming out from farther.
I don't know what you want me to do.
Well, yes, I could plan better, but but this is I mean, this is I'm.
Going to hammer back in what I would saying, but there's a lot of emotional energy and stuff for that. I mean, do you want to be friends with this person?
I mean, just because of the fact that I felt
like we went through so much together, I do like her. However, I told you that I don't feel like I could be her friend anymore because one, I feel like we're just both in different parts of our lives where it doesn't align as much or I felt like for her, she just has her own things going on, and it was just so much of a focus for her, where even if I felt I wanted to talk to her about things, she didn't really make herself available, So I told her, yes, I miss you, I miss what we had,
but I don't know if we can continue being friends. And so I feel like it's just more. It hurts more knowing like what I lost or what I had lost even from before.
Then to listen, brother, you're you're thirty three years old, right, yeah, at that point. Well it's like, dude, you know at this like you're thirty three years old, you're married, Do you have a kid? No, are you planning on having a kid?
Hopefully hopefully about year's end, But you never really know. I do have a job. I do dog grooming.
So I love my job.
Yeah, a job. You have a husband, you gotta. I just have a life, you know what I mean. Like you're just older now you got a life. It's like, you know, it's kind of like, bitch, but what are we doing, you know, with the whole Like, uh, it's like it's too it's too anymore. No, I mean it's too much. It's like, listen, if someone's doing something to
piss you off, just tell them and it's fine. Also, I'm at an age where if someone's doing I'm at an age where if someone's doing something to piss me off, unless if they're in my immediate life, I don't bring it up. I don't care anymore because you know what, because you get like, you get older, and you just realize the time moves faster than you can hold it.
And if you don't and if you don't pick the people and the things that are important to you, then you just get dragged in a bunch of meaningless whatever. And then you look at your life and you realize that your life is an amalgamation of things and people
that you don't give a fuck about it. And so there's just at thirty, like it's one thing if you're like in high school literally or like college, but like at this point in your life, it's like homegirl, I can't be I can't be sending you break up emails back and forth. You know, I got I got a life, and so I hopefully so to you. I get the morning of it though, I understand, but I don't know. It's just like that's a lot some people are a
lot of emotional edgy. If someone's in your life and you want them to stay in your Like I have friends who I'm like, I'm gonna be friends with these people until I'm like eighty, but those a lot of those guys don't even like live where I live, a
lot of these guys don't even see every day. So I those conversation, those conversations of like, oh this is my this is those like emotional conversations of like, oh these are my feelings and this is how I think you treated me, and this is I those are and like those are, this is how I want to communicate with it. Like that kind of shit is reserved to me for like people in my day to day life.
People I'm working with, people I see every day, people I am romantically intertwined with, Like that's because all that shit just takes so much emotion, you know, it just takes so much emotional energy. So it's like I got to reserve that emotional energy for the people who are like in my life, not the people, not just like someone that I get lunch with once a month. Third but you know whatever, and it's okay, it's really not
selfish to feel that way. Your time and who you spend it with are deeply, deeply, deeply precious, you know, right, And I.
Mean I totally agree, because anyone I meet now, I guess in adulthood or whatever. Like I feel the same as how you explained it, like I don't like something, like I don't have to deal with it. And that's why I feel like I'm kind of why I was holding on to my friendship of hers for so long, just because I felt like it's that whole thing I had been invested so much or whatever, like I wanted to preserve what I could. But then it just came to a point that when we stopped being friends, I
was like, you know what, I don't need. I don't need that. But it just was really sad to think about sometime because I would miss her or whatever. But but like you said, there's other things going on, and what is it, Because it's like one thing that I've listened to your podcast before that you've mentioned or and where you went to a lizard expo or something.
I went to a lizard I went to a lizard zoo shout out the GET Gallery in Brooklyn, New York.
Yes, so I listened to that, and I mean I've always considered like it's always all about perspective.
And all that.
And it was funny how you spoke with someone there and they said, like, oh, if I was a lizard, like I wouldn't have to worry about all these things, or because someone would take care of me, or someone
would watch over me because I'm a lizard. And I started to think about it like, well, I mean, yes, someone could take care of you, but that's like assuming there's someone to take care of you, Like it's all a matter of chance, and as a person, it's all a matter of choice and perspective, like cause you get so many calls of people just going through, you know, their own shit and their own problems, and yet they overcome it, and I'm like, Okay, maybe my problems aren't
necessarily that bad, or I can always look at it a different way, Like, for example, if I was having a bad day at work and I was like angry or whatever, like oh my manager gave me all these horrible dogs, or oh she like overbooked me or whatever, I'd have to slowly shift it to Okay, well, maybe I do have a lot on my plate today, but it's an opportunity you manage my time better, or maybe ask for help when I typically wouldn't, or stuff like that, you know, just justting the mentality.
It's deeply fulfilling It's scary at first, and then when you really think about it, deeply fulfilling to realize that nobody cares about you or your problems at all, even people who like That's like, even people who love you don't really care about your problems because they have their own problems. They anyone care about what you do. But it's good. If everyone cared about everyone's problems, then we would all we would all suffocate, we'd all we'd all
blow ourselves up. Yes, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, not necessarily. I guess it's anything to just keep perspective and keep trying and maybe want to night Shaalan movie because that's what I've been binging lately. I watched Knock on the Cabin Knock at the Cabin yesterday with Bautista, and it was actually really good, really sad, but it was really good. You should watch it.
Battista, Bautista, thank you very much for calling Amy.
Thank you, Lyle, have a great day, Have a good night, Amy.
Bye.
Bautista. Let me google it. But Tisteta, Oh Dave Bautista, Okay, he's an actor and he was in knock at the Cabin. How's it end? I'm gonna read that. This is This is what I like to do. Is I like to read the very you guys want, I'm going to read the very end. Okay, if you haven't seen Knock at the Cabin, I don't like. I don't really watch movies. I watched one movie every three years, and it's usually really good. I watched Marty Supreme awesome. Uh, that's the
one movie I've seen in the last five years. Okay, I'm gonna read the very end of skip ahead fifteen seconds in the podcast if you don't want to hear.
The end of.
Knock at the Cabin.
All right.
They drive off, making a stop at a crowded diner where they watch news reports confirming that the disasters have abruptly ended. You know what's crazy, I don't that doesn't give away I feel like that doesn't give away anything. I feel like that movie has not been spoiled for me because I don't know who they are. I don't know there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff. I don't know why I did that, But because I don't, I'm never gonna. I'm gonna. Okay, let's I'm gonna spoil
the end if the Game of Thrones. Sorry, I know you guys want to hear phone calls, but how does Game of Thrones end? I'm not gonna watch it? How long is it? I'm gonna save everyone time by spoiling the ending of Game of Thrones right now, if you're currently watching it, I'm about to spoil. Skip past where the ad break is because I'm gonna spoil the end of Game of Thrones. All right? The iron thrown and that's the series finale of Game of Thrones. How's it end?
Fuck this? I don't want to watch this shit? How does this fucking shit end?
All right?
John leads them to return to the lands beyond the Wall as the millennia long winter in that region begins to thaw. Who cares? I bet if I see, I would care about that if I had watched the whole I think that's the point of TV's You're supposed to slowly start caring about the characters afterwards. I mean, over time. But if you just go to the Wikipedia page of a TV show and then you read the last line, then you'll be like, I don't give a shit?
What?
All right? One more what the Sopranos. Fuck the Sopranos. Wait, I've already seen the ending of the Sopranos. He's just like he looks up. That's the ending of the Sopranos. Is he looks up?
All right?
All right? Sorry? Hello, yo, get go? What's up? Brother? How you doing?
No way? Good hour?
How am I? I'm doing? Not too bad. I'm enjoying life. I'm not I'm not satisfied. I'm definitely not satisfied. No, I'm not satisfied. There's a lot more that I need to refine and do before I'm satisfied. And I'm stressed out about it because I don't have good enough systems in place for for me to feel truly peaceful and satisfied with myself. But I'm on the way there. I have full confidence. I'm on the way there. The problem is that I'm twenty eight, and.
I live in.
A universe that I've created at this point. You know, when you're young, when you're like when you're in college and high school, it's like, all right, I'll just wait until the next grade. But then once you graduate, you're like, you can't do that anymore. You just there's no next thing. There's no purgatory, there's just this is it.
You know.
It's great. I love it. I love I feel the most free at this age in my life. I feel very free. I feel I've also had at least three separate times where I thought there was nothing past this, like okay, like three separate times where I was like, I think everything's over. And now I'm not even talking about like my career whatever. I'm just talking about like life.
You know.
I've had three separate times where I'm like, I think that it's over, and then there's like a whole new life behind it. It's cool, it's interesting, and so I've learned that's happened to me enough. And also I see forty six year old guys in New York like walking around and like eating sandwiches, and I'm like, one day I'm going to be that guy, and that's like five lifetimes from now. So I feel good. I feel pretty confident.
That's all.
That's all I'm doing. How are you doing? What's going on? What made you want to call it my Gecko show? That's what I want to know.
Well, we've talked before, and I've been wanting to give you an update. So I've been trying to call you but I never get through.
Okay, what do we talk about?
Uh? The I was on the podcast. The episode is OCD and Skateboarding, and we talked about out how I thought I had OCD and that I was like traveling and like teaching kids how to skate and show like that.
Cool. Okay, you know it's funny. I'm gonna be so honest with you. I know I remember the name of that episode, but I can't remember a lot of what we talked about. So why don't you go ahead and tell me where you're at right now?
Well, I'm at work, so if I got to.
Go, I don't mean I don't mean physically figure it out, but like.
Right now in life, yes, Well, I have yet to go to a psychiatrist. I've been to therapy again, which is great. And I have a girlfriend now and she has kind of like opened up my eyes about thinking about the world differently, and that has also helped me a lot. So we're kind of there. We're doing good deck some some bad parts, but you know, life.
Okay, that's pretty good. What ways has your girlfriend helped you see things differently?
She like one thing that really stuck with me when we first met, was like she told me that she doesn't think embarrassment is real, which at first I'm like, all right, I'm skeptical, but she was like, well, if you do like something embarrassing or like what you think is embarrassing, but you play it off like it's not, then nobody else will think it's embarrassing. And I kind of totally understand.
That one hundred correct, you know, and I never thought of it that way. Yeah, well, I mean, how do you think, like that's how cool people operate is they just play everything off like it was meant like they meant.
To do it exactly. Also, I've been playing kndoma a lot recently, which if I go to one of your shows, I'm bringing you a Kandama.
I'm very excited for It's super sick that I don't know.
I've just been kind of living. I'm also not satisfied with my life right now, and so I've just been like running around trying to figure myself out. But I'm really young, so I'm still trying to I'm trying not to rush things, but at the same time, I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be if that makes sense. Like I look at like I know, comparison is the thief of joy. Uh And I look at like kids that I went to high school with. I mean, some are doing bad, some are doing good, some are
getting married. Because I'm I'm going to be twenty two this year, so I'm pretty young. But I just like, I work at a parts store right now, and I've been here for three years or so, and I kind of I'm kind of like, am I supposed to be here? Like? Am I supposed to be somewhere else in life?
You know what I mean?
Like I don't feel like you said, like I don't feel satisfied like I'm here, but I don't feel like I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but I I feel like there should be more If that makes sense?
You feel like there should be more? Well? What like I'm not what more? What more do you want there to be? Brother?
See? And that And that's the thing is like I don't know, And I guess that's where I'm like, Shit, should I go to college? Should I quit my job and switch jobs? Should I? Like, I'm going to Colorado for my birthday? Uh? Here here soon? And I missed Colorado a lot. So I'm like, should I check that out? Like where I should go there? Like maybe move there? I don't know.
Just how you're twenty two. Yeah, I will do all of it, man, Just do random stuff. Just do all of it, don't don't. You're freaking yourself out for no for no reason. Man, Just just just I didn't think. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but just just just just do something. Man, I'm putting like anything, you're you're a perfectly You're a you are a perfect human being. Yeah, you're perfect, You're perfect, You're not such anything. Just go do something, man, Okay, Okay, yeah, just because.
Okay, So, like I I live in Iowa and all my family and friends are in Iowa and not really realizing that I'm pretty lucky to have like grandparents and a couple of great grandparents still at my age. So I'm very family oriented and I love my family a lot, and it's really hard for me to be like, all right, I'm gonna say fuck it Moose States, or like I can't do anything till September because my lease isn't up
until then. But I like I'm scared that I'm gonna like make my mom mad, or like upset that I'm leaving or.
Stop stop. I you can't be upset that you're making your mom mad. What's your name again? Sully Sally Sally Sally, I know, Gek, I know Gik Sally Sally. I'm literally yelling, I'm pissing No, I guess I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
I'm yelling, yeah, I know, pissing off my neighbors. Dude, I watch TV so fucked dude. I'll watch TV like at what I think is a normal volume, and then I'll walk into like the my apartment hallway and I could hear the TV from like the elevator. Nobody has ever said anything to me, so I don't think it's a problem. But like everyone get like, there's at least ten other people that are trying to ignore this conversation
right now. They can hear my version of it. They can't hear your They could hear me yell Sully Willson Sully, I'm gonna kill you. No, I'm not going to kill you, but Jesus christ Man, like, by the way, I get it, I know I by the way I have this. I want you to know I have the same thing, dude. Like I go home, Like I have the same thing, dude, Like I I recognize that, Like I've chosen to like leave my hometown and like live a life. I live, live my own life. I would never do it any
other way. Like me, my sister, we we like that's what we decided to do with our lives and it was never an option to not do that. But I go home and I'm like, uh, my mom looks like rapidly older every time I see her in person. So does my dad. It's hard, it's a bummer. I call them frequently. I was on the phone with my mom. I was on the phone with my mom today and she told me a story about how I was almost
never born. But that's her story. But I call them all the time, and I have like an adults relationship with them, and it's on First of all, it's on your mom to let you go have your own life, but it's on you too. At some point just decide that you need to have your own life. I get. I get it's a very American thing, and it is. It's a very American thing to go and have your own life. But you have it in you to want to have your own. Your mom's not forcing you to
want to have your she's doing the opposite you. I feel within you that you want to have your own life, So like, go have your own life. Man Like, don't let your mom tell you to not.
Do it.
Go have your own life. It's good. You don't want to be like a kid forever. You want to have your own semblance of existence on this own world. And by the way, call your fucking mom once a week. Call your grandparents, call them, visit them.
Oh I do all the time. I love them.
I'm sure you do. That's great. Like, by the way, your family oriented. You want to meet you want to meet a woman, you want to meet, You want to have a wife, You want to have a girlfriend. You wanna do all that stuff. Yeah, in order to do that, you have to have your own life.
You're right, you know.
So you you want to You want to look back on your life and be proud of yourself, not even because whatever you made a bunch of money or you were successful or whatever, but because you interfaced with the planet and go, you know what, uh go, Actually, here's here's what you gotta do after this, bro. Go watch the beginning of Hercules. Oh god, dude, go watch the beginning. Oh my god, it's so it makes me cry. I have often dreamed have a far off place. It's a
great song. Go search up. Go on YouTube, search up. Fuck, what's the name of the song? What's the name of the song from Hercules where he leaves his parents and goes leaves, goes on adventure.
I don't know. I haven't seen him forever.
Like, oh, it's I can go the distance. Go search up. I can go the distance on YouTube. You can go to the distance. It's like you're like playing Pokemon and you know you're not leaving fucking Palette town, you know.
Can we get can we get deep for a second?
Can you want to do you want to spend sally? Do you want to spend this life catching the doofs in Palette Town? Or do you want to get yourself a fucking requaiser?
I want to a requiz you.
Want to requaiz it? Yes, we can get deep? What's up?
Okay? I okay, I want to know your I've been really stuck on this for a while because it's on the topic of life, right, yeah, okay, Recently, I don't like talking about death and I know it's gonna happen, and when it's my time, it's my time. But like for me, it's really hard for me to fathom like what happens if that makes sense, like in my head, Like my family's not like religious, but like I believe that like a higher power. And so I'm like, okay,
like we go somewhere when we die. But at the same time, I'm also, well, there's nothing after, you know. It's like what people say, like, oh, do you remember when you were born? No, all right, it's the same shit, And like scares the fuck out of me. And I want to know what you think.
Here's what I think the other day. Okay, you're twenty two and you're freaking out about this every day, dude. The other day I was at a I was a like a diner and there's a like eighty seven year old man next to me. He was eating soup, and his soup he didn't like his soup. So you know what he did?
He ate it?
No, no, he he asked the waiter. He was like, hey, I didn't like the soup, could you, like, could you remake it? He hasked the waiter to remake a soup. Do you know why? Do you know why this is relevant?
Why?
Because that guy is eighty seven years old. He's being he's gonna get sent into oblivion any day now, Sully. Any day now, that eighty seven year old man is gonna get sent into ablivion. And he's over here pissed off because his soup is he's not pissed off. He wasn't pissed off. He wasn't pissed off. I don't want to characterize him. He's not grumpy old man, but he was. He wanted the soup, you know that way. He was assertive. He was not a grumpy old but he was nice
to the waiter. But he just wanted to and you know, I saw nothing. But the point about this guy is he's just living his life. And that guy should be way more scared than you. You have a lifetime ahead of you before you need to worry about death. That guy could die that afternoon. That guy could be like, oh I don't like the soup. Aneurysm death. You know, he's not even thinking about it. He's thinking about his dumb ass life. He's thinking about exactly what's going on
in his stupid, almost over life. And so that's what I think is the right thing to do until you're dead. I don't know if it's the right thing to do until you're dead. I've of course, I've talked about a lot on the podcast about like being afraid of death and asking the major questions of life and all this stuff. But I'm over that, man, I'm over that. I've decided personally, I think it's good to go through that. I think it's good to have your questioning and your thinking and
all that stuff. But just at a certain point, man, you got to join the living and you got to just like be in it. You got to have things that pull you into life, whether it's like responsibilities or people, or goals or novelty or drugs and alcohol or you know, whatever it is that is your thing. Just you got go join the living.
Well, I'm just I'm such a go go go person. So recently I've been trying to like live in the moment and just be like, all right, I'm here, I'm doing this, Like let's not think about the next thing, and like what my mom says is just be just be here, just be And I've been really trying to do that recently, especially like in the New Year. That was one of my like whatever New Year's resolutions or whatever is to just be and I'm doing our right, I'm doing decent. But it comes across my mind all
the time. And then I try to not freak out.
How old are you? How's your mom?
It's fifty, I'm forty nine. Fifty.
She's living her life, right, She's just being She's existing. She's not freaking out about death. She's not freaking out about being old. She's not grieving her twenties. She's fucking grocery shopping and walking around and watching TV.
That's true. Seinfeld, Seinfeld Fire fire Show.
Life is good, dude, life, life is good, and it's
gonna get better. I really believe that. I'm excited. I'm excited to I was talking to my friends on the phone today and he was getting he was getting lunch with his aunt, and his aunt is like sixty sixty something, and she was like stuffing She's like frantically stuffing lettuce in her face and like kind of she like eating really grossly, like just being like, oh yeah, we're gonna make sure we get off on that and just like eating really gross and and it was like, oh, that's
that's good, because it's like one day I'll be one day will be like sixty something, will be much closer to death than we are now, and we're not gonna be worked out. We're not gonna be freaking out about we gonna be like eating food really grossly and talking about some fucking thing that doesn't matter. We're gonna be fine. All those people are gonna be dead that we're talking about right now, and it's gonna be our turn to ignore our own deaths and we'll be fine. It's gonna
be fine. It promise you. It's we're designed to uh go away. Uh. But in the meantime, and this is why you need to leave your fucking palette town is because in the meantime, you're uh you want to look a live a life that you're proud of, right and you want to have when you're older. If you're gonna have your family oriented, you probably want to have kids one day. When you're older, you're gonna want to uh uh still do all the things that you want to do now, and you'll figure out a way to do them.
But when you're older, you're gonna want to have a life that you can talk about to your children. You're gonna want to have life experience so you can help your kids go through their life. And you know you want like, like, just live your life, dude, Like you're you're sitting here, you're freaking out about death when you're not even living your life. You know, so, and I and I know, I know it's hard where I know money is tight in this economy, and and and it's
a uh, it's hard. It's not the easy path to go and live your life and try to do a thing. It's easier to just whatever. And again it's a very American thing, I think, to go out on your own. But if it's what you want to try, then at least try it. That's all. That's my rant to you, Sully.
Thank you.
I'm sick of hearing my own voice, so I'm gonna let you go.
No, you're good.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh? Love yourself? Uh and be kind, thank you, silly, good luck man, thank you gek.
Yeah that Sully. I like Sully.
I do.
So good guy. I went on a bit of a rant, but it's okay. I kinda I actually like going on rants? Actually was I lied? No, nobody hosts. Nobody who hosts a podcast doesn't like the sound of their own voice. That's a lie. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a Premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko
dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode. Wait, Wait, why are you beating your parents at a casino?
My father had told me that a cousin could do roofe, so he said, hey, you know, just give me the money and I'll help you out. I gave them about three grand, and week after week, month after month, you know, I'd be like, what's up, where are you? Are you gonna come? And he never came. I asked my father for the money back and My parents' immediate response was, you don't understand we you owe us for raising you.
If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say. Goes on the line thank you. Every nine everything goes to teaching you a
Nice expert