Hello, Hello, what's up, dude. What's your name?
My name's Grayson.
This is Lyle. What's going on, man? How you doing?
Oh? Not too much. I'm uh. I'm at work right now avoiding going into my store and doing my job.
What's the store? I mean it's Is it a specific store, is it a chain?
It's a chain?
What's the store? Are you allowed to say?
Yeah?
Kroger, Kroger. Kroger's are mainly in the West coast, yeah, or like the not the west, the middle of the middle of the I almost said the Middle East to the middle of the country. There are no Kroger's in the Middle East. There's no, there is no. They don't have Kroger in Iraq.
No, no, there are no Krogers in Iraq. Uh.
What's it like working at the Kroger.
Uh, it's fine, it's fine. I just stocked shelves and I listen to you and other podcasts and that's about it.
What is the hardest part about the shell of stocking?
Customers have no sense of spatial awareness or other people. A lot of times people will hark a cart like right in the middle of the aisle, walk away from it, and you know, take so much time and think and do whatever people do, but always ends up just kind of being a little frustrating as someone just doing a job.
Do people? Have you seen there's this guy on YouTube. I kind of hate him, but he's I can't look away because he just he makes he makes content that I think is mean spirited, but it it's undeniably interesting where he runs up to people and forces them in the parking lot to put their shopping carts back if they left them out. Do you see that? Have you ever seen this guy?
I have seen that guy. I think he's a little little heavy handed sometimes, but I I kind of dig it.
It's undeniably very interesting to watch. Does that really?
Like?
Okay? Like, Okay, as a guy, I'm sure you've had to put away plenty of shopping carts left in parking lots before, have you not?
I've never had to do that, but I really a lot of people do that.
Okay, So, as somebody who's close to that, do you how evil of an action do you believe.
It to be to leave the cart in the lot and not put it like in the little slot.
Yeah?
I don't think it's evil, but I definitely think it's a I moral is definitely not the word, but like it's selfish almost, you know, it's it's it's a lack of thought kind of action that is, like without consideration for just the world happening around you. You know, leave as you left it? Yeah, you found it.
Do you believe it's an indicator? Do you believe someone who does that there's a there's an INDI it may indicate that they're capable of greater evil.
Deep down. Maybe what's your name again, Grayson?
Grayson? Is there any particular reason you called into the show to.
That I'm getting married in two weeks from today, congratulations, thank you, And then I am moving two weeks after that, and the pressure from those two things is definitely starting to mount. Mmm.
How old are you? How long have you and your home even engaged? I don't know. I've never referred to I didn't want to say partner and I didn't want to say girlfriend, so I said homie, but you knew what I meant. How long have you guys been together?
Four years?
Four years?
Cool?
Are you excited to get married?
I'm extremely excited. I'm very very excited.
That's awesome. Tell me where the pressure is coming from.
We both are in different kinds of jobs where she definitely picks up a lot more financially than I do, which has bled very heavily, like into the wedding where it's you know, far less than like fifty to fifty split input you know, financially and stuff like that. And then you know, she just works a lot. She's a nurse,
works twelve and so she just does a lot. And we're getting married and then we're moving so that I can take a chance with my degree and try and take a try and to take a chance with you know, something that I actually want to do, which is wonderful because she's made a lot of like really made or you know, life choices and sacrifice for me. She's kind of the one that's like made the idea, like let's
go somewhere more music friendly. My degree is in music for film, So we're going to Nashville so I can try and get something a little bit more in the industry or industry adjacent interesting, But I find myself a lot struggling with like, I don't know, making good on the sacrifice that she's making for me, you know, by by giving me this opportunity to go. I feel a lot of pressure to actually get a job, which has not really been going well so far.
Okay, well I don't know, Well, all right, I actually I have I'll actually I have a lot of questions. So, like, okay, so this lady, she's a nurse, she are do you, guys, like financially contribute equally to the relationship or do you kind of contribute based on what each other makes.
It's closer to based off what each other makes?
Okay, And like do you feel because like because sometimes you know someone's contributing more financially and like they're happy to and and like it's fine. Like do you feel do you feel in your gut of guts that that there is any kind of resentment from her about that?
I don't know that it's resentment as much as it as it is maybe like maybe disappointment that I haven't fully like committed to the changes that I need to or yeah, you know, haven't fully given my all or haven't necessarily like overcome like my like fears of failure regarding it and stuff like that. You know, I have a lot of like creative self consciousness, you know.
So she so you feel not that she was sential, but that she I mean, so you feel like she's disappointed in you for not trying.
Yeah?
Yeah, what's so what's her deal?
Like?
What like what's this woman's ideal life?
Like?
Does she is she like absolutely? Because is she like absolutely in love? Where are you where? I mean, don't give me the don't give me a logitude, lad to? But what state are you in?
Ohio?
You're in Ohio? Okay? Is she?
Is?
She in love with the great state of Ohio and she's in Ohio for die Ohio till I die?
You know, we're trying to get out of here.
Okay, all right? So so she's so is it well, so like, is it like, uh, I'm leaving behind my friends and my family for you to pursue this dream in Nashville? Or is it like Nashville that sounds fun, Let's go to Nashville.
It's kind of like, oh, that's fun, let's go to Nashville. But for me, I can't I can't help but interpret it as this greater sacrifice, you know what I mean. Both of us have like all of our families around here and stuff like that, and Nashville is not too far of a drive, like we'll be up here like semi frequently. It's not like we won't see friends, we won't see family. You know, a lot of friends already live in other cities and other states and stuff like that.
Just at this game, in the game of life and whatnot. So I don't know, that's not really like a big concern, but I can't help but feel like like that she's giving me this opportunity and stuff like that is therefore indicative of like a loss of some other dream or idea of life that she might have had.
Okay, well, I have a few things I want to say. First of all, getting I don't want to be like negative about like the I'll touch on aspect. I'll touch on the aspect later. About like I mean, I don't know if you listen to the show, but I've ran a bunch of I feel like I've talked a bunch about like the whole you know, like jobs in industry. Thing feels like it's very very very like remote more
than it's like location dependent. But that's enough. I'm actually kind of more like what like again, like, what what is this woman's dream life? Like if she was like, what is what does this woman want that of life, and in what way do you believe that you are an impediment to that? Like, like you've told me, all you've really told me right now is that she's moved. She's she's moving to Nashville. Like I want to know, like what she what you feel like she is sacrificing,
Like what's her dream life? And in what way are you getting in the way of it? Or or in what way do you believe you're getting in the way of it?
I mean, her coort thing above anything is like, you know, family, Like, Okay, that's one thing. So I definitely kind of feel like a little I guess, maybe not guilt, but just that we're moving away from our our family and people that we're close to. But I you know, I that's kind of just the way of moving and getting out of way and whatnot.
But she's but her dream Yeah, go ahead, I was gonna I was gonna say, like her dream life is I guess like she wants to be more in a city where like it's happening, you know what I mean, Like in Lava to New York.
And Nashville of Florida, Cunting, which is great where we're going Yeah, yeah, I think I feel it more like I I can't even like fully articulate it other than just kind of like, you know, she does find actially support me ratioed, you know, more than like I am
supporting her and stuff like that. Okay, so I kind of feel like, maybe not that she's sacrificing something for me, but that I really feel a pressure to, yes, pull it off, you know, to get to where I ideally want to because she's doing so much to allow me to take the chance to try.
You know, yeah, I give you mean so well, Okay, a few things. It's like, yeah, if her if her dream is to go to the place where it's happening, uh, that's it's then yes, Nashville is going to be a better time for her than ohio I the angle of like this move is a sacrifice for her, Like, I don't think that's I think my my assessment is that like,
this woman clearly loves you. Some woman clearly like has just like this woman just clearly as someone who loves you has a vested interest in your well being and in your thriving. And you, as as a person who loves this woman, have you have a vested interest in wanting to show through action your gratefulness to her for the support she's giving you out of the love that she has for her. And I think I think both of those feelings are are good, are are our respectable,
valid feelings to have. But I don't think that they have to drive you insane, you know what I mean. I don't think that they have to cause you to spiral. I think you have a nice motivation and the and I think you have lots of reasons to like not fuck off and like, you know, sig out all day or whatever it is. But but the pressure of like I need to get a job in music production in Nashville. I mean, I don't even know what that looks like.
But I just she just she doesn't By the way, I don't think this this woman just wants you to have your mo Like you you sound like, tell me if there's a fair assessment. But it sounds like you're like you're looking for your mojo a little bit, you're kind of looking for your It sounds a little bit like you're looking for your mojo. This this lady, she loves it. She wants you to have your mojo. She wants you to like have the things in your life that make you feel like you're you're thriving as a
human being and contributing in the relationship. And and even if and the thing and even if you can't find this specific thing, she just wants she wants to probably see that you're trying, and you want to see that you're trying. But if you go into this like outcome dependent, as they say, you just gonna spiral and go insane.
You know, if you go into the if you go into this like I need to get a job in the music industry in Nashville or else, my wife's sacrifice of what else, my wife's horrible sacrifice of moving to from Ohio to Nashville will be in vain. Then you can spiral, you know what I mean? Like just just put in, just put it, like be like in be like input dependent, right, be like Okay, I can't fuck around, like I gotta I gotta apply to gigs. I gotta
work on my music. Like when you know, if i'm if I'm like at home on my laptop, like let me do fucking And she's like making uh, she's like has a long shift as a nurse, Like let me do the laundry, let me clean, let me do the chores, let me ask her if she needs anything, like like be like be in service of her the best way that you can be by both being in service of
yourself and being in service of her. The ways you can be like that's all shit that you should be like thinking about, not like I need to get this job or else. If I if I don't get this specific job, I'm fucked right. It's just like, how can how can you keep like being in service to the relationship by like improving yourself as a human being and improving like and you know, just like try like ways in which you, as her partner, can like bear the load of her existence. You know, So as long as
you do those things, you'll be fine. Because I have bad dudes, You're probably gonna apply to a thousand because like because if you say to your because if you follow that method, there's like a way you can do it that that'll make you and her feel like, you know, it's happening, you're working towards it, you're doing it. But if you but but you might send out a thousand applecations to like work in like film production, music in Nashville. You might just you might just get rejected from all
of them, like it's a crazy thing. Like that's very outcome independent. But like you can but you can choose I'll just unrepeat myself now, but you can choose like two, be there for her when she needs it and be there for yourself when you need it. And that's a little bit more input dependent. And so as long as you're as long as you're like the like like you should replace the pressure of like pressure and outcome independence
into like what's the good what's a good word? Put it into more like motivation for your inputs, right, because it they because one is just like a spirally crazy feeling and the other one is like, oh shit, we got something going. I'm gonna fucking try to be you know, in service of this. I'm rambling. I don't know why I have an advice podcast. I hate giving advice. What did you think? Was that good advice? I?
I think so? Yes, Okay, I think that's very helpful.
Okay, I don't know if it do I is this an advice podcast? Am I an idiot? What's your name now?
Grayson?
Grayson? Did I what were you gonna ask me? What if I watched.
Oh, I was just in the silence. I was gonna ask if you watched the Artemis two launched the Moon launch the other day?
No, I didn't. How was it?
It's incredible, really cool to see. I wish I could go. Maybe I'll go down to the actual landing launch in a couple of years.
See. I like chatting like so well, sometimes it's like a chat podcast. I like chat, but depends on what I'm in the mood for. Today. I was in the today. I think I gave advice today because I was in the advice. I was in the mood to do an advice podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a chat podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a journalistic story. But it depends on what I'm in the mood for.
You're in the mood for is always appreciated.
You're You're a great guy, dude. I'm not even fucking right. You seem like a good dude, you really do. You're generous, you know, I'm seriously, I can tell in our conversation that you're generous, just with how you are being in this conversation listening to me right now, I can tell that you bring that energy into your relationships. I respect you.
I appreciate that.
Do you when you go grocery shopping? Do you put your card away?
Uh? I usually don't buy enough at one time to need a cart or Yeah, I usually put my card away, but I'll do it like inside the store and I'll just like load up all the bags on my arms, you know, to bring to my car.
What's the what's the last thing you did for your your fiance.
Bought our dinner last night.
It's a good guy. Hell yeah, when's the.
Wedding two weeks from today? April eighteenth? Nice?
I'm excited for you guys. You sound like you get see you give a fuck. That's all that matters. I mean, I guess, I guess not all that matters, but it's one thing that matters a.
Lot, probably the first thing that matters.
Definitely the first thing that matters. All Right, I'll let you go, man, unless if there's anything unless, if there's anything else you wanted to I wanted to say.
Nothing in particular, gek bless everyone on the internet.
Be well, hey, thank you brother, good luck and uh moszeletelve on the wedding. Good luck in Nashville brother.
Thank you have a good one.
You too, man, take care you too. I like that guy? Can't you tell? Why do I feel like I have such a different I wish every I wish everyone who listens to this podcast could listen, could just you could like be in my body while I'm recording it. They would have they would have such a different experience of it that I do. I feel like I can tell. I just can tell that it was a good guy. All these calls I've been I read the comments. I shouldn't, but I all these calls they feel and sometimes I'll
go back. I'll listen because I'm insane. I won't listen to the whole thing. But like if I read a comment and they're like you were doing this, I'll listen and I'll be like, oh, that sounded a lot like I'll listen to a conversation like oh, when I'm like listening to it, that sounds so different than how it felt to be in the conversation, you know what I mean? All Right? Who cares? Sorry? Hello?
Hey, yeah, can you hear it?
Hey?
What's up? Man? What's your name?
I'm gonna go by Johnny.
Johnny, Johnny Rockets, Johnny Bravo, Johnny, Yeah, Johnny Pincipani, that's not real, Johnny. What's up man? What's going on? How's how's it hanging with you?
Insomnia? Man?
Just like like you know, like when you go to sleep, that's when all the top you have hits saying yeah, it keeps you awake.
I can't sleep that, dude.
I've been in the past year since I had like a crazy existential crisis. I now must fall asleep with the TV on. Ever since it's been a full year, I have to fall sep with the TV on.
Dude.
It so I'm serious, Like you can't. I love it your laugh because you know exactly what I mean, Like I can't. I've learned that, and I've like I should have been. I should have been doing this all along. Like I'm not a big like background noise music guy up until like a year ago, and now I must always have something on. Are you like that?
I I love I love white noise. Like I'll have my fan on or sometimes I'll play YouTube on my phone. But I don't know, like but sometimes like you know, like anxiety and stuff. I'm just going through some ship right now. It's just like freaking me out.
Do you want to talk about it or do you want to tell you ay something else?
Uh?
That last podcast? Last podcast, I said that to someone and I didn't mean it. I wanted to talk about the thing, but this time, but this, but this time. Sometimes I'm gonna lie, I'm gonna be honest. Sometimes I ask that question and I don't mean it. I usually want to talk about the thing, but this time, in this moment, I mean and I mean it. If you don't want to talk about it, we talked about whatever you want, what.
Do you That's why I call it, man, That's what I call it. Like I can't sleep. I saw you're like you're doing the thing. I'm like, okay, sure I'll call in and talk about it. But yeah, So like last Tuesday, my wife told me she wants to like either end things or like just take a break from all everything. M And it.
Was like all of a sudden for me because.
Like the past three weeks before that she was like perfectly happy, perfectly fine. I was like, what, well, She's like, I'm just emotionally exhausted. You do these things and it's just like that's a lot for me, And like you had to like pull up her phone and tell me
like what those things were. And she's right, she's right like the stuff she said, she's right, and she brought it up last year too, and she also acknowledged that I'm improving upon them, but like I I haven't like completely gotten better about those, like I admit, like she's still hurting because of it.
But.
Like, uh, so sorry, I'm kind of nervous, like.
Oh no, no, no, no, well okay, so immediately questions. So she said, all right, so just to recap, she's perfectly she's perfectly happy. Then she just hits you with the like yo, I gotta leave because of And then she pulls out her phone and she has notes she wrote she prepared for the conversation. She wrote down a list of these things which she had brought up to you a year ago. And then she and then she is saying to you, I want to give you, I want to give you credit. I see that you've been
trying to approve upon these things. I think you are, but it's not enough for me, and so I gotta go. That's that's was her. That's kind of what's.
Going I feel like, yeah, that's that's kind of the gist of it. But I feel like for her, it's just I think she has a hard time confronting me about these things. I try to be open and welcoming and be like hey, like, but I still I feel like she has a hard time with this, and it just sucks to know that.
Hy be with the list what are the things?
Uh so one of them is like, so'm I kind of fixate on things, like to the point where it's obsessive. Like suppose if I'm doing the dishes, I'll be like, oh, the dishes need to be done this exact way. That's what that way it's the most optimized. I know it's fucking ridiculous, Like I acknowledge that, but it's like a problem I'm trying to unlearn. So I'll be like doing the dish. I'll be like, Okay, the sick needs to turn on now, then turn turn turn off now, so
I don't I don't waste too much water. I got to use this much dish soap, so I don't waste it. And sometimes she'll be doing the dishes, I'll be chilling in the living room and like I'll be watching her, which is extremely shitty. I know, but like again, like
that's like a habit I'm like trying to unlearn. It's like it just that in everything where I just fixate and I try to like elver and it's not coming from a place I am ending up controlling that, But it's not coming from a place of trying to control her. It's more so like I'm just like so fixated on like that being done that way.
And yeah, m how old are you?
Nine?
Has this been a problem your entire life?
I feel like this is I think I did have fixations when I was younger, and I used to do certain things like I don't know if fixation is the right word, but I had certain things I used to do, like when I was.
A kid.
Sometimes why I would put a book down, I would pick it up again, put it back down, and I would do it like four times exactly or five times exactly. Yeah, I did that for a bunch. I think OCD is the term for it. Yeah, yeah, but I used to do the growing up, uh, And then throughout my college life, I was like a very messy guy, like wash everywhere. But then I saw her stepmom a couple of years ago, and I saw how she cleaned as she went, and
then she hung out with everyone. She was socializing and then cleaning as she went, And I think something flicked in my brain where I was like, I can't be living like this like with this girl and we're growing up. I can't be living like a dumb ass like I got to grow up. And I think it became very intense after that point, where I was like way on top of like keeping the house clean and everything, and I think like that's when this started happening.
Mmm, how long have you been with your wife, like including dating, like.
Yeah, wife careers three years?
Three years? Yeah, okay, when do you first notice that this was a problem for you?
When she brought it up last year?
M And is she okay?
So this is this?
Is this the main thing? Or it's kind of like is there more to Is there more that she put on her notes.
At Yeah, I'm trying to think. I think her note was more her a just more like like her being like sharing her emotions with me, like how she was being hurt, but I didn't get much points across it. I think it was more like there were certain things I would say certain times, and they were all like boiling up to a point where like she felt dis exhausted, and I just wish like you would tell me more often like hey, well, what the fuck why did you
say that? Or something i've so I would be like, yeah, why why the fuck did I say that, rather than like it's coming up to a point where like at oil all like piled up and it all came out at once.
M hm. So did you respond by being like, let's try to fix it.
Yeah, yeah, I did.
I I still am and I have been afraid of therapy for the longest time. It's it's funny I'm calling the therapy that I know you're not a real therapist.
Yeah.
I listened to you all the time, and I'm afraid of therapy.
I got the sense that you might not have been to therapy when you said I think this might be something called OCD.
Yeah, I don't know the term, right, Yeah, yeah, but yeah, coming back to the conversation, Yeah, I've been afraid of therapy for the longestime. It was it's not that I don't think it works. I know it works.
It's more so.
The process of finding the right therapist, Like what if someone is like more like a yes man or someone is not compatible and I gotta go through multiple people.
I mean therapy therapy is fine, but okay, So I mean no, I think you should go to you should you should, you should a real therapist. You should always always go to you should always to a therapist. You should always go to a real therapist. I just like in my person I just in my personal I mean, I like doing this. I like talking to people and doing doing fake what I don't know whatever this is. I like doing it just talking. But in my own
personal life, therapy therapy is fine. But okay, when did you tell you this.
The last Tuesday?
Last Tuesday? Do you have kids?
Yep?
Okay, what's your life like outside of your wife?
M So, I'm kind of think of a way of saying this without giving out too much.
I got a job.
It's it's pretty, it's pretty chill. I enjoy it. Uh it's in software.
I like.
I just like technology overall. Like I'll be I like timpering with computers and stuff. Uh what else? I like cooking after my work, Like I go pick her up. We hang out at home. Sometimes we take trips every now and then, like every few months, we'll go like like into a new city or go hiking somewhere.
Yeah mm hmm out. But I said, like outside of your wife, Like, do you have a lot of friends?
Yeah, that's that's another issue. My all my friends are like pretty spread out now. They're like yeah, they're like in different parts. They're like like five six hours away from me.
Yeah yeah yeah, Wow. What what part of town are you in?
Like what city I'm in or not?
I just state. I mean, you can give me the city if you want.
I'm in Texas.
Are you in Texas?
Okay?
Are you? Okay?
Okay, okay, okay, yeah, okay. What did what when she gave you this second round of notes or or or rather the first round of notes?
Again?
What what? What?
What was the second round?
It was the second round? It was a second round notes?
Yeah, because like remember I told you she told me this last Tuesday and she brought it up, or like she she first told me this a year ago. She had a note ready at that time as well.
Yeah okay, okay, but what I'm asking is is this okay yeah, okay, No, you're right, it's a second round of notes. You you improved, meaning it's a second round of notes. So how did it make you feel, what did you what was your reaction? How did you like?
What?
What? What were the results of the reflection.
I was surprised at first, and then I was like, no, I gotta I gotta fix this. But then like, I have a close friend I talked to him about this. She she also told me to like talk to that friend to like reflect on this and everything. I talked to him about it, and like, I'll I have these issues. But if I like obviously again, like I am gonna go to therapy. After having this discussion, I realized, like, even if like like she does not want to continue anything with me, I'm not doing.
It just for her.
I think I need to improve these things, like anyway, but yeah, other than that, what else didn't make me feel? Yeah, I need to improve. I need to go to therapy. And I wish she would I I wish she would have told me this soon so I could have worked on it, because I'm willing to work and improved. Like, but if I don't know like what I am doing wrong, I can't fix it.
Okay, So you asked her if you can have another chance to improve, and she wasn't buying it.
Yeah.
Yeah, So basically by the end of it. What happened is like I told her like, hey, I will improve on everything, and he was like ready to end things at that time. But then like she's she was like surprised by the way I acted. She thought I would lash out. I'd be like, how could you do this to me? And everything that she was surprised, like how like I was recepted to it, and like I took the criticism, which is like odd in and of itself, because like every conversation we had, I tried to be
receptive and like understand sometimes I would be defensive. I think that was defensive in this conversation too at first, but then like as she kept on clarify, I was, no, she's right, but yeah, you're surprised about.
That, okay. So so she said, She's like, okay, I'll give you another chance. So she has given you another chance to show that you can improve yourself.
Yeah, she So she said she's gonna take this weekend, which is she's doing right now. She's gonna a close friend of her picked her up. They went to her place, and she wants to like have some space and talk about this, to have more clarity about this. Then she's gonna talk to her therapist about this on Monday. Then she's gonna let me know her like decision is on this after that.
Mm hm hmmm. I'm collecting my thoughts about this because I've I've been in a similar ish situation where somebody is like, what, well, no, just I mean. I feel like everyone has been in a relationship has been in like a situation at some point where they're like, hey, there's this aspect of your existence that like bothers me and I would like you to try to change it.
And you go like, okay, I'm going to make efforts to change it, and you think you're doing what you think you're doing a good job to change it, and you also have to decide the most important, by the way, the most important thing of this is like you kind of you. You have the same mirror of like which is like your part of your partner, and they're like, hey, we don't lie on like this aspect of you is you know, I'm not happy about it, and you have
to look at it. And if you look you might look at it and go, that's not that big of a deal, or you might look at it and be like, I know right. I hate that about me too, God, I suck. And if it's the second one, then it's a pretty easy healthy thing to be like, oh I got to improve that. But I'm also I'm also kind of there's certain things where I'm like, listen, I can do I have kind of like I know my limits and I'm like, Okay, I've exhausted my limits of how
good at this thing I think I can be. There's a lot of different because man, in a relationship, there's like oh billion different roles and things and desire, like so many variables at play, and it's like, listen, I can do this that the other thing. I could be this, I could be that, I could do that, I could
be that, I can this the other thing. And you have to also have to be able to look at this shit and be like okay, So for the OCD thing, you have to look at it and be like, can I really change that or do I need like do I need to just accept that it's part of me? And do I have to be like Okay, I accept that this is like I've done the best of my ability. This is where I'm at. Are you aligned on this? And if she goes no I just fucking can't do it.
And it's be like, okay, all right, this is very is fair, which sucks ass.
But.
Like, do you think like I guess, I'm like, do you think whatever my part like guess it's her if she decides to end it at someone in the future, do you think it's shared to them? Like whoever my partner may be that like I am like doing these to them and they're hurting.
No, well, fair well, affair is a weird word. I mean you're be like like you're talking like I'm just using as an example, I'm using like watching her do the dishes Like, no, it's like fair. I don't. I don't like the word fair, but like it like she does. If she's in this relationship and she's emotionally exhausted because
you keep watching her to do the dishes. And then you if you if you look at your now listen, if you look at yourself, you should probably you should probably be able to look at yourself and go it's probably not great, and you actually did that in this call. Even look at yourself and be like, it's not great that I watched my wife do the dishes. I'd like to stop doing that, and you can probably find it
within yourself to stop doing that, you know. And then if she sees you, like, if she actually notices that it's getting better than great, But if she doesn't and she keeps asking and she kind of has hit this point where she's like, you haven't improved enough for me, then you know, yeah, sure, it's it's yes, fair to walk away, I mean fair.
Now.
Yeah.
The other thing is I just wish she would have told me this earlier, like, rather than it boiling to a point where she's got her and exhausted. It just sucks that, like it came to a point where she felt like that and then she told me mm hmm. Communication. Yeah, yeah, communication is very important in relationships.
Of course, yeah, that does. It is, No, I I totally what you mean, and so yeah, you're you're entitled to feel that way. And then she's going to go off and she's going to be like, well, do I want to keep making this work?
You know?
Do I want Do I love this guy enough that I want to keep making this work? And if the answer is yes, then great, then you can keep making a work. But if the answer is no, it's a fun it's fucking hard. I mean, I don't want to sit here and uh, I don't want to do a Calshy esque bet on whether or not go for you again.
But yeah, yeah.
But if but if she doesn't, like, it's gonna to just just so you know, man, if she doesn't I it's gonna be like it's fucking fucking fucking devastating. But yeah, but it just wasn't. It just wasn't aligned for you, you know what I mean, it just wasn't. It's just it's like I feel like I feel like, yeah, so much relationships just about like like a lot, like dude,
it's weird. Like there's there's the kind of the two pillars of like alignment and work and sometimes you just have ship of part Also like alignment means a billion different things. Alignment also means like what are two people willing to put up with? Right? Like what are two people willing to put up with? And you have to
decide what you're willing to put up with? And if you're willing and everyone everyone, but every like there's no unless if you're amazing and perfect, no relationship has two people that don't put up with anything.
So like yeah, yeah, so.
Like your wife is deciding what she's willing to put up with, and she might she might decide that there's too much that she doesn't want, and she doesn't. Then the the amount that she loves you and wants to make it worth is not more than what she's willing to put up with. And that just means you're not aligned. It doesn't, It doesn't as I don't think you should take it as like a like just don't walk away thinking you're a broken person or that you use to
the years incorrectly, you know what I mean. It's just it's just alignment and and and there's a certain level of alignment that work can just keep overcoming. But then there's a certain distance of alignment that work just fucking just can't. Yeah, go past and her threshold, Yeah go ahead, I'm.
Rambling, Yeah, yeah, no, No, you're fine. Like this is all like like solid shit like like helps me. I think about this sole discal perspective. I appreciate it. But so she she is, I'm gonna like she's gonna be back here Sunday, h so tomorrow, and then she's gonna talk to her therapist on Monday, and I think she's gonna reflect on this a little bit, then she's gonna
give me her answer. But I was thinking on Sunday I could sit down with her and I could discuss some of the stuff I was discussing with you about, like the communication, where like, hey, if you like brought
this up earlier. I know it's like like hard to bring it up over and over again, But if if you were able to bring this up earlier, I would have and the more precise I would have been able to understand, like, hey, these are the things I'm doing wrong, rather than it being get to a boiling put like I don't know, I guess that some of the stuff, Like I was thinking of bringing it up on Sunday before she talks to her terrapist, so she could like so it's those things with her from like it would
be the additional points. Do you what do you think about that?
Yeah? Of course, I mean that's your that's your piece. I mean, give your peace, that's your piece, right.
Give your piece?
Yeah, yeah, because yeah, because like otherwise it's gonna for like it's gonna bother me for a lot, like hate, like she's not understand this aspect of listen.
Totally give your I mean, give your give your piece. I mean, you don't want to lash out right, and then you're not. I don't even sound like you do. You don't even sound like lashing out. Yeah, you don't sound like lashing out is even anywhere near your your consciousness. So I mean, speak your that's the speak your piece, and you have a fair piece.
And then.
Be be prepared, be prepared for your peace to not be good enough. Be prepared for your peace to not be good enough. But also what you just said to me where you were like, listen, I just want to make sure I went out with as much effort as I could so that I could sleep better at night. So do that you know? Yeah, was this helpful in any way?
Yeah?
It was.
It was very helpful.
Like like I again, like I talked to this with my friend, but like I was still contemplating that as I was staying up all night. But that was nice talking to you about this.
Okay, what time is it? What you know you're in Texas? It's like seven am?
Did you say? Yeah?
Huh did you sleep at all?
Would say, no, I did not. I was just staying.
Up with my talk.
This was Tuesday.
Oh it's it's like it's Saturday right now.
No, I know, Saturday, but this brug of the breakup was Tuesday.
Yeah, the conversation was on Tuesday, and this is this is like the first This was the first night that she left, and I'm like in bed alone with my thoughts.
Oh so you're bed alone with your thoughts.
Yeah. Yeah, Tuesday, he was still here with me, and then she left to go at her friends. She's she went yesterday to her friends. She's staying today, she'll come back tomorrow.
Oh, this is your first night in bed without your wife in like years.
Yeah, but like I've been to like I've visited friends, like I've been, but I didn't have to dread these type of talks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right, yeah, so of course you're up until seven o'clock in the morning. Bro, Do you know about melotoning? Do you know about melotonin gummies?
Yeah, I've heard of them. I've never tried to I've heard of them.
All right, So I'm actually I'm giving I'm giving up my career as a fake therapist to become a fake psychologist, and I'm gonna sy should take you should take some melaton and gummies? My friends I love. You should take some melaton and gummies.
Okay, I.
Take no more than to take no more than two. They take no more than two melatonin gummies. I don't want to be the reason you were those on meloton and gummies.
Okay.
If I do that, I'm probably gonna, like, you know, like another fixation, like what is this? What are the side effects? How does this work?
You actually probably do you actually? Okay? You actually should Okay, well you should actually see a psychologist because you might need to get medicated for something. I don't know. You didn't hear from me, but you should go see a person because yeah, I mean because yeah, well yeah, man. If you have anxiety, why I'm acting like this whatever,
there's all this is all personal experience I'm drawing from. Okay, If you if you have anxiety and you're haven't and you're staying up until seven o'clock in the morning, if your anxiety, first of all, if your anxiety that means you're walking around being anxious about stupid ship all day and your brain's trained for that. And then when you actually like and then once and then now you actually
have something to be anxious about. I mean, it'll drive you insane, of course, so you should probably you're probably you should go see a psychiatrist, get a little something just.
To help out. A psychiatrist or yes, the steps you.
Should see a therapist. And you see a psychiatrist, don't tell them that you spoke to a lizard on the phone and that's.
Why you're here.
Yeah, but that's yeah. Do you you got Oh you've said your friends are spread out, all you gotta be around. Also, here's another thing is I know we've been on the phone for a while, but and I know we're on the phone for a while. I know I say this in literally every single episode of the podcast, but like you should you should find a community of other people to be around so that you're not alone with your thoughts. That's a horrible way to live. You should find find some of the people.
Texas.
You're in Texas, Texas. Texas has all kinds of ship. Do some ship?
It does?
Yeah.
But see, the thing is like Kurr and I we were we live in one city, and we were thinking of moving to another city to get a house over there. And I still want to move to that city anyway, regardless of the outcome. Uh So, That's why I was like, it's a few more months, like should I try building community here or should I just go there like a band over there? And I gave up so much. I don't want to give out more. But it's another city in Texas, one of the big cities.
It's one of Okay, it's all like I mean, by the way you you specific you specifying that you work a big tech job in Austin does not give out as much information about you as you think it does. But anyway, okay, yeah, okay, whatever, Austin. I'm gonna pretend it's Austin, Austin, Austin, Houston, ends all the billion things to do. Yeah, yeah, you'll I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hit you with the you'll be fine, man, but
I'm not gonna hit you. I'm not gonna hit you with the you'll be fine, but I will hit you with the I see a path forward for you positively that, if followed, may potentially lead to you being fine.
I hopefully too.
I just like me right now, I'm like, I really want this to work, but I also know if I push it too much, it's actually unhealthy. So I'll time my best and see what it happened.
All right, man, is there anything else you wus say? The people in the computer before we go, get bless Hey, thank you man, I appreciate you. Have a good one, and get some get some get some either get some sleep or get some coffee and then try again it and you.
Know I'll probably find Backno. Yeah, all right, take care, good.
Luck, brother, take care. It's a nice guy. Hm hmm. I don't. I don't think we can identify if we can identify him just based on the fact that he works a big tech job in Austin. What's going on last? And they have they have guitars every city in the planet, I actually know. I've I used to be a big every place is the same person. I don't think that's true. I think different places are different, they have different they have stuff. You know what I would say, Actually, you
know what I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go on record on this podcast. I'm gonna say I know I talk a lot about traveling. I'm gonna actually say travel. Uh, travel narrows down your horizons. You know, if you've not I actually you if you've never been anywhere, then you get to live in the beautiful imagination of what could be. You know, don't shout, don't travel and shatter your illusions of what could be by learning what is. What is will never be as good as what can be. So
just stick with what could be. Just sit in your room all day, not doing anything, dreaming of what could be, and never shatter it by learning what is? Hello there, what's going on? What's up?
Man?
What's your name? My name is Greg, Greg, Greg Turkington, Greg Giraldo, Rest in peace, Greg. Give me a Greg Greg?
Me Uh?
I thought there's a Greg Daniels somewhere out there.
Greg Daniels is the creator of the Office. Now, fucking, fucking finally someone names a fucking Greg. Greg Daniels. Do you have another one? Bonus bonus. If you don't have another Greg, that's okay. You got another Greg.
My dad, My dad's Greg.
That's perfect Greg. Greg. Do you have another human being?
Name?
Anyone doesn't have to be a Greg. Just name someone, Bob, Bob, It should be someone. It could just be like a name.
Bob Orton.
There we go. Who's Bob?
Uh?
He is a so I'm a w fan. He is an older wrestler. He is the father of Randy Orton.
If you know who that is.
Bob Orton Junior. Bob Orton Junior, American professional retired wrestler, the son of Bob Orton Senior. Born in nineteen twenty nine in Kansas City, Missouri. Wow, well, okay, let's do a phone Let's let's do the actual thing. What's uh, what's your What's what's up? Greg? How's life?
It's good man. I'm uh. I'm sitting at work right now on a on a Saturday morning. I am I've got all my work done for the day, so I'm just chilling out. How I was locked down?
For you, mister Geck, life is actually going Let's go okay for me, I feel good. I'm trying to do more and I never found I never feel like I'm doing enough. I was gonna do more, so I'm doing. Yeah.
I kind of feel the same way. It's you get kind of complacent in life.
You know what I mean.
It's fine, Yeah, you can't do that.
Sometimes you get complacent. That's that's how I felt here recently.
Why have you been feeling complacent?
I've been at the same job for since twenty eighteen. I mean, this is the only job I've ever had outside of high school, and it's uh, I'm trying to get my so I'm trying to drive a truck and uh, I've got a disability and the state's make an hour for me, and so it's kind of like it's just pushing me back even further and further, and uh, I just feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever.
You know, hm, hmmm, what would you want to do were you if you were not stuck there?
Uh?
Honestly, ideally I would like to work in it, but just for I guess.
The time constraints to.
Get a better paying job quicker, I'd probably drive a truck. My dad owns a business, he owns a trucking company, and so I would like to take that over someday and who knows, hopefully retire early.
Nice man. So okay. So typically the whole thing of like, oh I should be doing more comes from some thing of like comparing who you are now to who you could be, like your kind of dream version of yourself, right, Like who is that? What does that look like?
Uh?
Honestly, it's somebody who makes more money. I know. It's probably such a cliche thing to say, but it's like money really does make the world go around, you know what I mean. It's like I'm twenty six and I unfortunately I still live with my parents. I save money, you know, and it's not a bad situation. I love my parents, love them to death. I pay bills. I'm not just living rent free, you know. But you know, I'd like to it one point here in the near future,
live on my own. I feel like I am in that, uh that stage of lifehere. I'm ready to be on my own.
Mm hmm.
And which job did you say you work now?
I basically do inventory for a flooring company.
Mm hmmmm hmm.
What what would you try to do to make more money?
Honestly, I should go to school, I uh, I was. I was in school at one point for for cybersecurity. And while at work, I fell and I hurt my leg. I just located my knee and tore some ligaments, and uh that that just kind of sent me back, and I was I was never really able to restart school, and so now I'm trying to, uh, as far as plans go, should be getting my CDLs in May. That way, I can drive a truck and start making a little more a little more money.
Cool. Cool, all right, so you have a plan.
Yeah, yeah, all right, Yeah, I'm I'm not just plan less thankfully.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have this thing too where I'm like, I also like every day I'm like, fuck, I wish I was like getting more out of my days, you know. But I'm always but there's always like a but I always I feel like like I'm like a snail. But we're yeah, we're getting there, you know, as long as it's like, as long as there's a vague direction and I know that that things are in the works of they're vaguely we're vaguely moving forward in life somehow, then
I'm like, Okay. It's when it's when I'm like, huh, if I repeat the same day over and over again, that it's this day I just had, I'm going to be in the same place kind of thing.
Yeah, Yeah, it's it's I think it's one of those situations where you kind of have to learn from the things that you do in life. Yeah, it's like, you know, you make a decision, you know, it not getting you where you need to go. You can't make that decision again. You need to make the better choice the next time. You know, it's easier said than done, but it's ultimately it is what needs to happen in my opinion.
Mm hmm.
Do you have a good relationship with your parents that you live with.
I do. I have a very good relationship with them, all right.
So it's not like I love my parents. Yeah, yeah, okay, so it's did they do they drive you crazy?
No?
Not really, man, I mean it's cool. I said. I'm like, at the end of the day, I don't have an issue living home. It's just a situation of I'm growing into being my own adult, you know, and it's like I want to I would like to start my own life, you know.
Yeah. Yeah, the way towards him, No, totally. I don't think there's any shame in doing it, you know, quote unquote late I mean, well, I mean it's a last shame. I think. Also, like in most four in a lot of like foreign countries, it's like not like a lot of what we have in America of like when you turn eighteen, you're on your own, Like it's that's not how a lot of places operate. And it's becoming harder and harder in America for people to operate like that.
I mean, there is still, like I feel like there is still opportunity in America for you know, dudes like you who are like I want to, you know, achieve that goal. And you know, I'm working towards it and this that and the other way, right, But it's like it's understandably harder than I think it once was.
I would agree. I mean, it's a lot of things. Like I said, it comes down to money everything.
Nowadays, it definitely live you know, yeah, yeah, it's crazy fucking expensive.
Yeah yeah, And the I guess my big thing is I don't I don't really want to live with roommates, and so that doesn't that one doesn't help the case any and so in my opinion, yeah, and in my opinion, the American dream, you know, it's not to it's not to live with the roommate until you go and get married. Now, there's nothing wrong with it, and I wouldn't be necessarily opposed to it. I mean, I've got a friend who's offered several times to let.
Me move in with him.
Really, I mean, it's my best friend, you know, Yeah, yeah, wait, just because yeah.
God good, Yeah, I'll let you finish first. I'll ask my multiple questions.
I was saying, mainly just because he also he doesn't think that he knows my family dynamic and everything. He knows that he knows knows what's good. But he also he knows that I'm ready to get out on my own, you know. So he's off, he's all, he's got his own place. He's lived in an apartment for a three four years now, and he's offered to let me move in.
So okay, two things. What is what is your because you're you're correct and saying that there is no like like, what is your American dream? What's your idea of that for you?
For me, I want to be an entrepreneur. I don't know if it's necessarily an entrepreneur would be the right word for me. I would like to take over my dad's business.
You know, it's fuck yeah, it's awesome.
It's one of those things where it's it's a it's a good footing that's already already running and he's I mean, he's probably about ten years to retirement. Cool, and I would like to take over that business and kind of get myself to the point where I could retire even earlier than he's able to, because I don't want to work till the day I die, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'd like to be able to take time off, live with my family, or see my family, live with him.
Just live in the moment, you know, not have to worry about what Bill is going to get paid the next day. Do I got to go to work in a couple of days.
Yeah, yeah, Now I'm not worried about you sound like a smart you sound I don't. We've only spoken for ten minutes. I'm not When I do this to people, I hope people know I'm not like. I don't just I don't. I don't like just say shit that I don't mean. I'm getting a sense from you that you're a smart dude with integrity. So I think you'll be okay.
I like to I like to think, so, I like to think. So M so I appreciate that, I really do.
Mm hmm, well, so I guess the question now is like, because you're gonna go to school, It's like I don't know what your dad, what's your I don't know what your dad's businesses, But it's like, what can you what can you best do in the meantime to prepare yourself to be able to run it better.
I think, first off, I need to So it's a trucking company, and first off, I need to, I guess, learn the basics of tral things. I mean I need to. I need to go through my classes with that, and I need to get a little bit of experience on the road I need. And then after once I kind of get the basics down, I need to work with him a little bit and learn some of the back ends.
Of the business. I need to.
I need to learn how much it costs, do you know up keep a truck? Because I mean it's it's not cheap. I mean I've seen it before, it it ain't cheap. And then ideally, honestly, once I'm doing something like that, I would like to get some sort of
degree in business of some sort. So even if even if it doesn't work out with my with my dad's company, for whatever reason that may be, I still have something else I can fall back on where I don't just have to sit in a truck for for ten to twelve hours a day.
You know, So why are you okay, may dog? This is my other question? Why are you so opposed to roommates.
H Honestly, it's so if it's somebody in the right situation, I wouldn't hate it, you know, like if it's somebody that I'm friends with.
And everything, and now if I if.
Something happened, I got kicked out tomorrow and I had to go to live with a roommate, I wouldn't hate it. But sing with me, I just I would like to live on my own if I'm not married or if I'm not dating anybody, you know, I would like to have a place that I can call my own. I don't have to, I guess tiptoe around other people, you know.
Mm hmm.
It I may not, it may not make the most sense. I don't know, but I guess in my head, I would just I would prefer to be able to have my own place, you know, to truly make it my own.
Mm hmmmm hm hm hmm. Do you get lonely? Do you have friends? Like it sounds like do you spend a lot of time with your family? Because I guess I would only be worried that, you like, it's kind of it could be kind of lonely, just like living by yourself. If you don't have any other thing that you're doing regularly regularly.
Yeah, yeah, I've got so I've got friends and everything, and like my best friend, I've I went. I mean, I've known us this elementary school. We worked the same job here for five years and then I'm at my current job and we live as of right now, we live less than a mile apart from each other. And every weekend we would we go out and do stuff together. And every weekend that we're off of work, we uh, we go out, we do stuff together. And then I
play I play PC. So I play Counterstruck, and so I've got friends one of my two of my best friends, one lives in Iowa, when one lives in Las Vegas, and I mean we we talk every day on Discord and everything. Yeah, yeah while playing playing Counterstruck And.
Okay, cool, no, okay, I got you. You seem like, uh, you seem like you're chilling on that front.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's it's not too big of a concern for me. I don't believe, bro.
I think you're gonna be fine. Man, But do what's your name again?
Name's Greg?
Greg? Oh? Fuck? Oh good? Wait, you're the fucking you at the beginning of that. Sorry, I'm I'm in saying at the beginning of this phone call, you named some Gregs and then I asked you the name person and named a person. Yep, you have do you what do? You're the only person who's been able to do that successfully? Do you know that?
Yeah?
I yeah, I've been listening to podcast and I want you and I've been ready to never I always always hear you say that question, and people always feel it. Dude, you have the soft I've been waiting for my time.
Greg. I'm a dude, I'm a Greg. I'm a Greg fan. Now I'm rooting for Greg. You're f you got Greg, you have you got, you got the salt, you got the sauce. Brother, You've got the saw. Not worried about you. I'm not worried about you. Is there is there anything else you want to say to the folks of the computer before we go?
Uh No, but I do have one for you, please?
So you got your coming up?
I do.
I don't know if it's too late to add shows, but Chattooga, Tennessee, you can, you can have to.
I just want to. I'm like, you know what, listen if I was like, listen, if I was like Ultrastar Power, I'd fucking go everywhere. But I'm like, you know, I gotta kind of it's got. It's a thing where I'm like, i'd rather I'd rather just like do one show in Tennessee and just have the folks who want to come drive like it's just easier and it's just like that's
the Tennessee gig, you know. I hope, I hope you'll be there, if you know, if you want to if you want to come, if you want to come, if you want to come, send me a send an email, send an email to uh send me able to therapy, getcko mail at gmail dot com, and give me some give me some proof that it's great. I'll I'll because I don't something if some random people might message me being like Greg, but I'll be able to tell who the real Greg is. I'll be able to tell the realre.
So just send me, send me any I'll I'll give you. I'll give you a ticket if you want to come.
Oh sweet, yeah, I'll probably come to the one Atlanta.
I'm post tokay, perfect, all right, I'll give you. I'll give your ticket either either one. Let me know, send send me an email.
I appreciate that. Brother, Yes, sir, thank you.
For sure, for sure. Many have a good one, and uh, I'll I'll see you in Atlanta hopefully if you want. All right, take care, bye bye. Don't email me if pretending like you're Greg, if you're not fucking Greg, I will be able. I can tell. I can tell that shit. I just don't do it. I don't you know what. I have actually pretty nice fans who listen to the show. I actually don't think anyone's going to do that anyway. That's the podcast that was therapy. Get Goo, please go.
It is true. I am going on tour. I'm going to thirty cities across America for the fourth time in a row. I love tour and I love running around. I love doing these shows, doing the Gecko Therapy. I got some material planned, I got some stories that I'll be telling about my travels through the universe, and uh, it'll be fun, man, it'll be a good time. Go to therapy geckotour dot com. Go to therapy geckotour dot com and uh get tickets or check the link in
the episode description. I put it at the top of every episode. To go to therapy. Echo tour dot Com. I just did the for I talked about this already, but I did the first show in Tokyo a few weeks ago. That was really fucking fun. We're doing San Diego and Los Angeles soon as part of the Netflix is a Joke Festival. That'll be fun. And uh, it's always fun to keep going and not it's fun not to kill yourself. It's fun to keep going experiencing life,
doing things. That's it. Keep trying, keep trying, Folks.
On the line every night everything kid goes down his eye.
Who's teaching you to how to live your life? But he's not really an expert.