Hello, Hello, how are you?
How are you?
What's your life like?
Uh? Right now, it's pretty good.
Yeah. What's what's good about?
It's real life.
Uh.
I have a new job that I really like.
It says here, did you want to talk about shipping in a cup?
Yes? So I was working for a company. I won't say their name, but their very big company.
Says here, you worked at Ama, and I was.
All right, Yeah, that was the company. I was a delivery driver there in Brooklyn, New York, and I had just finished eating McDonald's. I was about maybe three or four minutes into my drive out of McDonald's when the bubbly shit sensation came on. And I was in an area where there was nowhere to go. I was too far from the McDonald's. I was in an apartment complex, and I had no other option but to take the McDonald's cup and fill it to the brim with hot diarrhea.
Why didn't you park and go inside the McDonald's.
I was too far from the McDonald's I had left. I was maybe four or five minutes away. I attempted to make a delivery, and then as I was walking to the apartment building, I felt it and I panicked. I ran back to the truck, and it was either shit in the coup or shit in my pants.
Let me ask you a question, and I want you to answer this honestly to your feelings. Sure, you know, there's the whole thing with Amazon about like people are working in the warehouses and like like they have to pee in bottles so bad. And I want to know, is you sitting in a McDonald's cup in your truck? Is that a statement on capitalism? Or is that is that just you shitting in McDonald's cup in your truck.
Well, all right, so I don't blame McDonald I would say, I wouldn't blame McDonald's more than I blame Amazon. I mean, like, what what option could they give me as a driver? Now I'm not I never worked in the warehouse, so I can't vouch for the warehouse people. But in a truck, there's no clear cut option. Like I could go to I could try to be preemptive and poop before I get in the truck, you know, or but sometimes it's just do or die, you know.
So it's a statement on capitalism, but not on behalf of Amazon. It's on behalf of McDonald's there to blame for giving you the diarrhea in the.
Now, well, I don't want to blame McDonald's either, because I knew what I was getting into you. I mean, I didn't know it was going to come on that quick.
But the diarrhea is you know, you don't make it. You don't make responsibility.
Yes, you don't make the decision to go to McDonald's and be like, this is a healthy life choice. You know. It was just I was hungry. I knew I was going to pay for it at some point. I just didn't know it was going to be that quick.
Okay, final question, how much of the diary? This is another thing I need to be honest with you about it. How much of the diarrhea? What percentage got into the cup?
All of it? I I it was. It was cup to asshole like I didn't. It was no room for error there. My whole worry was that I was going to overfill the cup, and luckily I didn't. But there was no cleanup. You know, I'm very I'm very good you know with physics. I think you took.
A clean one hundred percent diary is sure liquid? Yeah, into a ye like however many inch.
It was like a large It was like a large size. It was a large McDonald's cup. It was I had a big doctor pepper.
Yeah, and you put that whole thing in your asshole.
No, no, it wasn't in my asshole. I didn't like put it in my asshole. I put the cup around my asshole, like my asshole was like at the center of the cup, and it was like I would say, air tight to my budgets. It was not really any area for splashage except onto my e But your.
Cheeks had to open up for the diarrhea.
Yeah, I have I have a I don't have a media ass. I have a very flat ass.
Okay, yeah, that's cool.
Like Hank Hill. Almost it hurts my back.
How did uh? How did you wipe afterwards?
I have, like I have tissues in my bag for like my nose and stuff, and I used plenty of those for my bud Did.
You put those in the cup when you were done with them?
Yeah, all all poop stuff went into the cup and then it went into the garbage. I had to drive down to the block with it.
What percentage of the question, What percentage of the cup was filled with diarrhea.
I would say, like ninety percent of the cup was full.
I was like, I was very scared of the cup.
It was a lot of shit.
You had a ten percent margin of error.
Yeah, I was sweling.
That's damn you really? This is like you pulled this off?
Yeah I did. I'm it's gross, but like, I'm very proud of my execution.
Did you take a picture of the cup afterwards?
I did? Did I wait, did I send you a picture of the cup I'm talking about? I don't think so. I don't think. I don't think I took a picture.
I know.
I called my wife immediately.
It's my background, your wife you called? What did you call your wife.
For to tell her that I I took the dirhea and a cup successfully?
Can I talk to your wife? Like real quick?
Yeah? Sure, okay?
Hello, Hey, what's your name?
Uh?
My name's Lisa, Lisa.
What was your reaction when your husband called you to brag about diarrhea and a McDonald's cup?
Can I can I just preface this with something. I just want you to know that we were actually just at your show in Denver, and my husband was too afraid to get on the stage and talk to you, So I made him call you and.
Tell you, see, this would have this would have been great on the stage. No, because here's the thing. If he had actually, if he had gone on the stage for this, I would have we would have paused the show. I would have gotten a cup, and I would have made him prove that he can do this on stage. So it's good that he didn't because he would have had to back that up.
He probably he probably could have shipped on command.
Also, so all right, he's got to come back next year. How did you respond when he called you to brag about this?
I'm not sure if I'm not sure it was a brag.
If I'm being honest, I.
Think he was. I think he was pretty him back.
But was I surprised that what he said to me that wasn't what he said to me. He didn't say he called you because he was embarrassed. He said he was proud. Do you hear him say that?
All right?
Maybe did you say you were proud?
He's probably now it took him. That was probably like a year ago. He said, Uh, he wasn't.
Proud in the moment, but he's definitely proud now.
I think when he called me it was.
Just like, it's definitely an accomplishment.
I would say, ah, but I think he.
I think he was not proud. I don't even remember the phone call.
But you're you're a good wife.
I am a good wife.
Thank you, you're a good get Go.
Let me talk to your husband again real quick before we.
Before we go, okay, tata yah.
Billy, is there anything you want to say to other people of the computer before we go?
Uh? Uh yeah, just you know, keep the cup tight, don't leave room for ayer.
You have a good life, Billy. I appreciate it.
Thank you, Kay, I appreciate you very much.
Have a good time. Man be too, dude, there's no way he didn't get at least a little bit of diarrhea on the truck one hundred. He'd better come back to Denver next year because I'm pulling him up on stage to prove it. What's up. How's it going?
Oh it's uh, it's going pretty well. I can't complain. Just uh, putting one foot in front of the other.
That's uh, that's great. What's what's going on with you?
Oh? You know, I'm just hanging out after I just had a union meeting. Not too long ago. So I, uh, I'm just chilling sitting at home, you know, waiting to do this again tomorrow.
So, Reese, what is it that you called in to talk about?
So I called Uh, I was talking about I told the call screamers that I wanted to talk about being a caregiver. And I work. I work pretty extensively with my union too, so I uh, yeah, I just kind of wanted to talk about that a little bit, you know, kind of It's given me a.
Different perspective on a.
Kind of just on the aging process as a whole.
I guess you know who, Yeah, tell me, who are you giving care to? Exactly?
I'm giving care to like folks who like elderly folk who have like like dementia, Parkinson's, you know, like kind of like you know that that those like later stages of life, you know.
M hmmm. So it says here and this was the part of this that caught my eye, that you deal with a lot of people who are dying.
Yeah, I mean it's just kind of it kind of. I mean, I personally haven't had anyone pass away, but a lot of my coworkers have clients who unfortunately do pass away.
Okay, And So what kind of perspective has it given you on aging? As you said, Well, you know, I.
You know, I'm only twenty five, so I'm I'm still just a wee lad in the grander scheme of things, you know. But I know that I'm not going to I'm only as young as I am, you know right now as we're talking, you know, so and and some of the folks that have you know that I had his clients, they're you know, they're anywhere between like sixty
and like eighties, you know. So it's like by the time like they get to by the time I give them care, uh, they're already kind of in their like and they're kind of on their last legs, so to speaking. Like by one client that I have, he's he's a he's a very sweet guy, but he's got he's got all he's got a lot going on, and he like he like I have to like physically like take him to the restroom sometimes and like pull his his pants on and his pull ups down so he can use
the bathroom properly. And it's like, you know, like there's this I never like in my short time on this and on this planet, I had never thought that there's going to be a time where someone is going to be in the bathroom with me, probably helping me do like what once was essential. I mean, it's still essential, but it's no longer as easy as it used to be. And it's going to happen to all of us regardless too, I mean, like not the specific.
Like, well, you know, you have an interesting experience where the idea of yourself as an old person who is limited in mobility and needs help taking a shit is so so far, it's so far away from you as a twenty five year old, and yet as for what you do, you have the unique experience of it's like not far away from you, it's right in front of you. You're seeing it. You're reminded that that's your fucking fate.
Yeah, And like you know, and I look at my clients all the time. I can't help but see myself in their position one day, you know, because it's like right now, I'm still healthy and able, you know, like you know, certain asterisks aside, you know, but like there's it's just it's just kind of like right now, you know, Like when I was younger, you know, like I kind of felt like I was more made of rubber, and like I can do more things. And you know, like if I like hurt myself for example, that like I
can just get up and go right away. But like as you like as your body like ages, and you know, it's just it's a very it's a very hard thing. Like I don't I don't want to get too graphic or nothing. But I had a I had a client who had a catheter put in like a fully cafeter and and that's the one that like goes that goes up your gary thrun and uh, he like he like he he doesn't understand what he doesn't even he barely even remembers when he had for breakfast that day, let alone.
But a fully ca after is going to do so like we and he's hard of hearing too, so we have to like explain a couple. It's it's kind of like talking to like a kind of like a ten year old, you know, like you don't have to talk to them like their children. You don't have to condescend to them, but like you kind of have to like more or less get on their level, you know. And and I and he didn't understand what was going on, so like as as the nurses they're doing her thing.
I'm I'm holding his hand and and he's like, you know, when he winces, I'm squeezing his hand. And you know, it's a very like a very intimate thing for us to.
Be doing, right right, I mean, this guy is getting a tube stuck in his penis and he doesn't even really know.
No, no, he he he he thinks. Yeah, he thinks that there's a problem with the plumbing. But and the worst part of it, it really is, is he he doesn't know that it's not supposed to come out, so he he wants to keep tugging on it and it's not and yeah, and it's not. Yeah, it's not the best. I mean, I don't know, I haven't had a cafeter put in lately, but I don't imagine it like being too Like in today too, he was just he was very like he kind of was just uncomfortable and he
was hurting something in fierce today. And you know, and the agent experience isn't like that for everybody, but it's truly, like like truly it's it's truly something. It's like it's like.
Mind opening to you know, see, like you know, kind of because the reason why I became a caregiver to begin with is because I wanted to become the mortician, and I wanted to kind of work with folks on this side of it before I go on the other side of it, and.
So I wanted to kind of see kind of wanted to see what they were going through, and I can. It's like, historically speaking, the job that I work, it's been kind of seen as like, you know, babysitting, and it doesn't have really a whole lot of the respects that it deserves. You know, a lot of folks think we're just babysitters, and that's far far not the case.
Like I I just my union sent me down to Georgia not too long ago, and the minimum wage for a healthcare worker like me was only five fifteen an hour.
Five dollars and fifteen cents. Correct, there's a five dollars minimum wage in Atlanta, I mean in Georgia.
Yeah, because they're one of the few states in the country right now. I think there's a couple of others who escaped me right now, but Georgia is definitely one of the states that pay below the federal minimum wage. So I was hearing stories. I was hearing stories of folks who were working like two or three or four jobs. Sometimes it's still not being able to pay their bills and like being financially unable to provide care for their
loved ones, you know, and it's it's crazy. It's really like soul crushing, which is why, like I'm really like this is why, like I like, joining the union was the best decision that I've ever made.
So tell me, when you're in the room with the guy get in the tube of his penis, uh, and he doesn't even know what's going on, what are you feeling in that moment?
Or like.
Do you feel removed from the situation because you're there very much doing a professional job and so you're almost emotionally taken out of it maybe in that sense, or or are you fully there? Like tell me how you're experiencing it?
Well, I mean I do got to say that, like I had, I had to make a phone call to my folks after the day was over and tell them that I'm thankful for certain decisions they made when I was a child. Because, uh, the catheter my client wasn't circumcised, So like we had trouble finding his urethra, and what I what I was feeling was I'm trying to I don't want to, like I have an emotional stake in this,
because you know, I want it. You know, if I'm ever in a position where someone has to take care of me, and I want someone who's gonna want who's present, you know, who's like, who cares about what's happening to me. You know. So I wanted to, like I wanted to put a brave face on to him, But at the end of the day, it's just, you know, I have to like avoid staring at the old man wiener mm. But you know, I feel like.
That's not a difficult thing to avoid staring at.
No. I mean, like it's it's kind of it's not that hard. It's like you kind of look off into the middle distance and you think about your life for a little while, and you think you're gonna be doing this for forty years, and and by the time that's all over west, you kind of like have to like, okay, back to you know. There's a lot of times where like like it's just there's a lot I have to have a lot of like I don't want to say
necessarily say cognitive dissidence. But there are times where like I kind of have to like like I like because I also do like kind of like light housework too, so like sometimes I'm just sweeping or moping or something, I kind of just like I kind of zone out, you know.
But Okay, yes, I would that that that that that's kind of what I was referring to, is like you're doing your best to be present because it's important to you. I mean, I don't think you would be doing this shit if it wasn't something you really cared about. It doesn't seem like something I just got into to make
a check. So yes, you want to be present, but I think that obviously with something like that, if you were, you know, it wouldn't be atrocious to me for you to have to employ some dissonance every once in a while just to keep yourself sane, you know what I'm saying, just, oh God, just to keep yourself from burning out. So tell me this, how much longer do you yourself doing this for? Are you hoping to have a you know, lifelong career as a as a caregiver? Like what do you see in your horizons?
Well, I'm still I see myself doing this for at least the next like a couple of years, like two three years. My ultimate goal is I want, like I was I was saying earlier, i worked pretty regular with my union, So I'm hoping to transitions from the field as they call it, to more of like a staff position with my union, because right now it's kind I'm
kind of working like that. I do kind of both, you know, Like right now, I do the caregiving and then on certain days I do like training orientations for other caregivers who are first kind of you know, the orientation training for them, and I'm hoping to do like actually I have an internship up coming up with them at the start of next year, and they'll I'll have to take like a leave of absence and and like hopefully like that kind of takes me a little further.
But because it's like it is, my clients vary like the hours area between them, so I only think if I only have one client and a week, they only have so many hours, and I only work those so many hours. So with with if I have a staff position, I'll have a forty hour basically a guaranteed forty hour work week plus, and like I get to complain about capitalism and get paid for it, so I can't rich me that. Do you.
Feel like you on a daily basis have a better like you're more in touch with what life is going to be like when you're old, And then does that influence your actions, like when you are around so much aging and death, you know, in your daily life, does it compel you to be Like, Listen, one day, I'm gonna be a guy in a bed getting a tube up his penis that doesn't have any fucking idea what's going on, So fuck it, I'm gonna go do this thing I want to do or that thing I want
to do. Like, does that closeness with your fate all of our fates compel you in any direction in your day to day life.
I mean, I definitely I'm more conscious of like like my diet and like like kind of like on the daily day to day like like I'm a little more careful with like my health, I guess in that respect, but like at the end of the day, I still have a life to live, you know, and like I've always kind of maintained that, you know, like life is too long and too short to really not that you shouldn't worry about consequences, of course, but I mean like you're like you only have today, so it's like, you know,
I I don't like there's a Africa who who actually said this quote, But I've always kind of lived by the philosophy of the philosophy up I'd rather be seventy seven and dead and have like a lot of good life experiences. And I've over being like one hundred and twelve and bored and talking about the weather. So it's
like I want to have those life experiences. Like I'm already like as a caregiver, I'm kind of already planning because you know, like with the folks who have like all Clammer's and dementia, they remember core memories more so than like kind of like.
Also, I feel like one hundred and twelve, you're probably getting like double penetrated by needles in the penis at that point. I'm sure you have like, oh, you're at least four different in every hole in your body by one hundred and twelve.
I mean like it's like if you're eating McDonald's every day and like kind of just putting garbage into your body that is more than likely, like you know, like it's like it's the biomechanics of your particular physiology put you in that position. Uh, I mean, like if you're working out and you're doing like you're I don't want to sound like a like a health nut or nothing, but I do know.
Well, Reese, Reese, I was gonna go to McDonald's after this, but after hearing about all of this, nou totally. Yeah, no, no, you've definitely can price. Reese. Man, Listen, you're doing a great thing. I'm sorry to hear that fucking minimum wage for this is like five dollars. That's crazy to me.
Well, I mean I mean for.
You know, I yeah, well you work out of Illinois.
Yeah, the minimum wage in Illinois for for someone in my position is fifteen dollars an hour, which is why I yes, I agree. Like our our jobs kind of we're like one step below a CNA. We do pretty much all we don't do any of like the medical stuff, but we do pretty much all the heavy lifting. And like our job, like we at very minimum deserve thirty dollars an hour and like and then you know, going up from there, you.
Know, Reese is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
I just hope anyone that is in the vicinity of our voices, I hope they consider joining a union, because in any states that are right to work states, you're guaranteed to make less money because of corporate greed. And by joining a union, uh, you you put a stop to the organized banditry of the working class. But with the force of organized labor, and I couldn't do I couldn't do what I'm doing without the union. So that's that's my soapbox.
Well, thank you very much for all of your hard work. Race. You have a good rest of the day.
Likewise, thank you, thank you for all your hard work. While and I I'm trying man, remember it's life is is not a narrative. It's a series of poems.
Mm hmm. I'm going to think about that.
Yeah, it keeps me going.
Take care of rees.
Yeah, have a good rest of your night. Man.
I love you.
I want to join in the UH. I guess I have to start the therapy Gecko Union. I don't know how many other people there are that UH dress up as a gecko and UH talk to people on the phone, but maybe I should find However, many other people that exist in the world that do it and ask for more money. God damn it, we need more money to buy more candy. Actually, I feel like i'm I'm I'm off a candy now thanks to Reese. He convinced me otherwise, I like Raece. Reese was a good guy. Had was
like a very very pure intentions with his life. Nice of him to help folks. You know, it's hard. It's hard when you wanna do a thing not for money and just because you feel compelled to it, and then you're rewarded with that with not a lot of money. But uh, I'm glad to hear that the Union has been been good for Reese. He was talking about a whole bunch of stuff about capitalism and everything, and I
don't I'm stupid. I don't read any books, and I don't look at the you know, I don't look at books and stuff, so I don't know what is going on. But I hope he fixes whatever bad thing is going on in that realm, and I trust him to do so because because I don't know what I'm talking about, so I don't I don't think I can do it join the Therapy Goto Union. Hello? Hello, what's up? How's it going?
Oh?
It's going all right?
Man?
How's it going?
How are you doing?
Deck?
I just jumped on the stream while ago and got lucky enough to get on. I caught in so many times many Mmm, I'm kind of nervous.
No, don't be nervous. Don't be nervous where I don't even know what we're doing here either? What's up? What's up? Man? How can I? How can I get you to the.
Uh? So?
I have some odd fetishes that I I can't I just I can't come to accept them. You know what I'm saying?
Okay, what are the fetishes?
I like?
Like cooking?
You know what is tucking?
It's like, oh god, damn.
It's tucking like what Buffalo Bill does in that one movie where you take your balls and penis and you tuck it behind your thighs.
No, I'm not into that specifically, but I've never seen Buffalo Bills. I'm not really Wait a.
Minute, are you saying tucking or cooking?
Cooking?
Oh? Okay, it's just okay. The call screener wrote, tucking.
Oh yeah, that's why she said it. Wasn't that weird?
Okay? Are you so? You're not? So you're not into tucking.
I'm not into tucking.
No. And I'll say this, I think Buffalo Bill was a weird guy, but not because of that. I don't think that factored into his I think the murdering of people he was a cannibal. Yeah, I think the murdering and eating of people made him a weird guy. But if it was just the tucking, you know, there's nothing wrong with that anyway. Okay, So you like cooking, you like being cooked?
Yes?
Yes, yeah, Well what do you like about it?
Oh? I don't know, man, it just it's says like the sexual I don't know, it just gets me going, you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?
You know?
Then?
I think it's it stems from a weird place certainly.
So just for those who don't know cooking, I'm clearing up the tucking cooking thing, tucking and cocking. What if you tucked and then got coocked? That would be crazy, all right.
That would be crazy and probably actually you know, erotic, No, no extra erotic.
I agree that could be a new thing for you. Should try that next time you're getting cooked. Okay, cooking I've never done it? Is your in is when you ever when you're in a relationship with someone and you like to watch them have sex with other people? Correct?
Basically, yes, that's okay, a lot of variations, but that's that's certainly which.
Would tell me which variation you're the most into?
Honestly, a little bit of all of it. I don't know, Like I said, I can't. It's so hard to just sit here and talk about I've never told anybody about it.
M hm mm hmm. And then again, go ahead, okay, so you said there's a lot of variations of it. Describe to me which scenario, like, what variation of it is the your dream? One? Like you have a girlfriend and she, you know, brings home a guy and she's like, I'm not gonna fuck you and I'm gonna fuck this guy and the whole time she's like fuck you. You like she like, she's like being rude to you and then good to this guy, and that's turning you on?
Is that the kind of scenario that you're in? Okay, yeah, okay, So why is it? Well, okay, so to stay with me, Okay, why do you think it's fucked up.
I don't it's I don't know. I guess it's just it's just degrading. And it's like I guess also, you know, it was kind of always taught that's not the way to be. Do you feel me it is? I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, I.
Live in the South, so it's like it's a very look down upon thing. It's like a taboo damn there. And and then that might add to the factor too, that it's like a taboo, you know. H But I'm not.
Sure the fact that it's a taboo is making it even hotter.
Yeah, yeah, maybe, I think maybe so. I think that's part of it. But the degradation part, the degradation part, that's definitely a big part of it too, you know. But but then again, that's like, like I said, I think it stems from somewhere, and I kind of know where it comes from, but it's just like I'm not sure.
Okay, tell me where you kind of think it comes from.
I think from how I was treated when I was young.
Probably, Okay, how were you treated with and how you feel like talking?
Do what now?
I said, how are you if you were comfortable with telling us how were you treated when you were young that you feel like is related to this?
Just very degrading, you know what I'm saying. It's like it wasn't so much physical. It's very I guess like emotional or kind of verbal, you know, if that makes any sense.
And so your parents were verbally degrading to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's almost like I kind of it like brings back some feeling from when I was young.
It's so weird.
It's very strange when when I think about it, because I guess I've never done it and maybe I couldn't handle it. But then again, I'm afraid it's gonna, you know, kind of affect the way I can make relationships going forward. And I'm not making very many relationships you know, in general friends there like platonic or you know whatever, romantic mm hmm.
Do you watch like cock porn?
Yeah?
Sometimes? Actually yeah I do.
I just do.
Well. I think the shame, I mean, this is how you feel, this is it? This is Yeah, Well, you're telling me the truth right now.
One hundred. I'm not I would not lie to you. I actually watched the stream the other day with like some dude did it and he wouldn't go through with it, and you were talking about that. It's from from a minute ago. But no, I wouldn't do that.
Gack.
I really no, no, no, you you know you're you're here. You're hearing me wrong right now. I'm not asking you that you're telling you. I'm restating the fact that you're telling the truth. Okay, Yeah, yeah, I'm not questioning you. I know you're telling the truth.
Okay.
And you're ashamed of the truth.
A hundred are you?
Are you ashamed of the truth for a good reason?
I don't know, you know, Like I said, I don't know if it's like it's just I can't come to accept it. I don't know if it's like you know, it's like those weird emotions stemming from how I was kind of degraded. But I was expected to be this certain thing, you know, I kind of uh, you know what a what a man is.
Supposed to be?
You feel you know what I'm saying? Does that makes sense?
Yeah? I can I answer you something? Yeah?
What's up?
How do just how do you feel right now being on the phone and talking to me about it?
A bit, a bit terrified? If I'm gonna be honest with you. It's just and I'm anonymous, Like you know what I'm saying. I know nobody knows. It's just talking to you, and you've talked about some pretty fucked up shit. You know, it's still it's like, wow, it's still I'm still trying to get over it. But it's just like saying out loud, you know.
Do you? I mean, does any part of you feel relieved to talk about it?
I definitely feel it's nice. It definitely has nice talking about it, just because I've been able to say it. You know, I don't tell anybody. I have people that are really close to it. I just don't talk about it. Plus, it's like I hear a lot of people I'm close to kind of talking about how it's you know, and I don't know. I don't know how to explain I don't how to explain it.
But you know what I'm saying, all right, were you about to say that you feel people around you talking about how it's weird or talking about yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know how to explain it. Should they just talk about how it's it's weird?
Or it's like who the fuck would do that?
You know what I'm saying stuff like that. M Well, they make fun of the idea, and I'm like, I get it. I get it, you know what I'm saying. I get where they're coming from because I have the same emotions toward it, even though I'm into it, you know.
Okay, But yeah, but can we But just I want to like challenge for a second the emotions that you have to it, that you've picked up from your friends, because what really is behind those emotions? Like, like, tell me what, tell me in your words, how you think your friends view this.
It's it's not just my friends either, but it's family. It's all that sort of thing.
Yeah, there's a culture. Yes, it's used as an insult, being a cock. There is a cultural, societal whatever thing about it. And and what what is the origin of what is your view of that perspective? What is your explanation of that perspective?
I don't I don't know where it comes from, but I just know that it's it's it's what I've I guess I've always heard coming coming up, you know, just growing up and stuff. That's just how how people view it. You know, it's very But.
No, when I'm asking I'm not asking you where that perspective comes from, Like what is it? Like? What what is your friend's perspective on being a.
Cut Oh, they think that, you know the same. It's just it's disgusting, It's it's weird. It's all that ship. You know, they think that. That's what they think about it. You know, hear them talk about that sort of shit sometimes.
Okay, so real quick, what let's go into why Why is it weird? Why is it disgusting?
I don't know.
I guess it's it's uh, you know, I don't fuck I don't know. I guess it's because you're I guess I just supposed to be a not submissive or some shit like that. Now, I don't really buy into that sort of shit.
Because there is no real fucking reason as to why it's weird. As opposed, and that perspective that your friend has is built on a faulty foundation. It's built on nothing. It's built on a societal perception of how you, as a guy, are supposed to be, and that perception was also built off of absolutely nothing. And the truth is that you feel how you feel, and you're really not hurting anybody, and you're really not doing anything malicious. And all that really matters is is this thing in any
way negatively impacting your life? And I don't know the answer to that.
Well, I mean, I suppose it's not negatively affecting my life. Like I said, I'm not. I don't really have any sort of relationship right now, so it's nothing I like I said, I haven't tried it yet. But I mean it's I don't know, it's like a I don't know, it's a bit of I don't want to say addictive. I guess it's not just that, but it's like I don't know, I'm I can't get away from the idea. It's it's just always in my pops in my head at weird times and.
Ship James, listen, if I can tell you this that your friends or your family or the people around you and your community, the weirdness, it's it's not based off of anything real, So don't listen to it. Cut cut all the other people's perceptions of you and what you're into and and whatnot. Just cut it out because it's not important. And all that's really important is how you feel about you and how you feel about these things.
And I hope that the way you feel about things is built on a foundation of that really fucking means something, because right now you are feeling all this shame that's based off of not living up to other people's expectations of how a man should be, of how a relationship
should be, and nobody gets to decide those things. There's so much people trying to fucking dictate how other people should live, how other people should go about their lives, and it's just such a stupid fucking thing, James, and you shouldn't be feeling shame about other people's dictations of how you should be as a human being.
I appreciate that, brother, I appreciate it, and I shouldn't. And I don't know. Things just I don't know. It's like I said, this one is just one I really really struggled to just accept.
You know.
And but I think I was sad to hear that nobody's told you that.
I definitely haven't heard that. I appreciate the ship. I really do, but it's just it's it's just so hard to accept.
I don't know, you ever been to a real therapist? I'm sorry, I said, have you ever been to a real therapist.
I have, but not about this specifically. And there's also.
Did you intentionally not tell them?
I mean it's been a while. I mean I did have these kind of things, but I just kind of just kind of didn't didn't think about it, kind of stuffed it down a bit. Had a lot of other well, other other issues that kind of affecting me at the that that point in time, you know, so we didn't really get into that. We talked about the more upfront kind of issues, you know, like what I the problems I was having right then, or there were more there were negatively affecting me worse at the time, you know.
I mean I could talk about other things too, I just that this is just one that I figured, you know, I'd rather be a non host to get on about.
Sure, I think next time, if you do go to therapy, I think you should talk about this because hopefully, because the thing is if it's something that stemmed from like your parents and you need to go in and like work through the traumas of the past, I think that's important. But as I if you could take anything away from this conversation, and again I'm sad to hear that the town that you live in and your friends and your family are imposing their ideas of how you should be
upon you. I'm sad to hear that. So if you take, if you take anything away from this conversation, I hope it's that you don't have to live by that. Do you understand what I'm saying?
I think I think, yeah, I'll take that with me. I appreciate that. I really do. It makes me feel a lot better.
Don okay, please do please don't. I could say like more words now, but I'd rather you just like focus on that and think about that every day, that you you don't have to live by these people in your small towns ideas of what is and is not weird and acceptable. And you're a young dude. You said you're nineteen. The faster you focus on abandoning those, the quicker you will live a much nicer life for yourself. So I hope you do.
Absolutely not try. I really appreciate it, Like I said, like I never do, never talked about it. That this helps so much. I appreciate you guy.
I'm really glad to hear that. I'm glad that you were courageous enough to share this stuff. And I hope you are more comfortable with it in the future. Is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
James, No other than I appreciate it. Shut out of you. James isn't my name, actually, but thank you so much.
Greg.
You have a great night, brother. I appreciate you movie.
Take care. Fuck man ah man, I fucking I don't know, you know what it is. Maybe this sounds douchey, but I'm gonna say it because I've been thinking about it in my little internet therapy Gecko worlds, and also my parents and my friends. They're all everyone in that sphere is very they are. They're open minded people, and I'm
really grateful and lucky for that. And I think with calls like the one I just had, they keme into remembering like, oh, fuck, you know, there's folks like James who are not as lucky to have the de facto sentiment around them be as supportive, and it keys me into that, and I hope, because I don't know, sometimes I say all the cliche hippie shit of like, well, you don't have to be so invested in other people's opinions of you, and blah blah blah, And I think
I'm so engulfed in my own sphere being very supportive that in my head I'm like, well, everyone already knows that, don't they. And then I, you know, get a call like that where I'm like, oh, fuck, there's folks like James who live in who in their own spheres, the de facto sentiment is not open minded and supportive, and that fucking makes me sad. So I hope, I don't know, I really do. I hope uh that he does take that ship to heart and think about it. I've been
asked before. I have the friends, and he asked me. He was like, do you really care about helping people? Because I don't. It's a complex as a that's a complicated answer to that question. And here's what I think in that moment. Over the course of that phone call, I really wasn't gay. I was like, I really want to help this guy. But when I get off of this, when I hit when I stop recording, I'll probably never think about him again. That's kind of where I land
about on that. It's like, in the moment that I'm on the phone with this guy, it's like, really important to me, and then that's all I've got, and then I can't care outside.
Of that.
Because it would be inhuman. I think that's the truth. But fuck as I'm talking about, right, I really I hope I hope he. I hope he took that ship, and I hope that that call helped him. I dude, I really do. And you know what, in his honor, I'm gonna go home and watch some cockborn tonight as well.
Hey hey, hey, hey.
What's your name?
Hayden?
Hayden? What's going on? Hayden?
Not a whole lot?
Am I on?
Hayden? It says here you wanted to talk about food?
I do? You sound wildly different on the phone than you do in your podcast.
What kind of food do you want to talk about?
I wanna?
I want to.
I want to talk about, uh, pizza. I have a topic about it. I'm very passionate about I want to share it with you.
You you called in to my podcast to talk to me about pizza.
I did, I did, I did?
Oh. I would love to talk about pizza, so now, please, I would love to talk about pizza. What do you want to talk what about pizza?
I want to talk about how triangle cut pizza is superior in every way, shape and form compared to square cut.
Okay, I have my personal thoughts about this, but go ahead and tell me what your theory is.
My biggest thing. Right, Let's say you're at a gathering with a very large group of people and they order six boxes of pizza and it's all square cut. You're one of the first people in there. You don't know how many slices to grab, it's impossible, you don't know what percentage of pizza to take. It's annoying. But if it's triangle cut, you just take two slices and then
you're done with it. And then like go back when to everyone that's gotten their slices, because there's still going to be but you start with two and then you get more later.
You know, what you are touching on is the the the well known ambiguity of square pizza versus the relative certainty of triangle cut pizza, because two slices of triangle cut pizza is the generally agreed upon serving size. However, there is no widely accepted, generally agreed upon serving size for square pizza. That's why whenever I order a square pizza I could find myself eating the whole thing. That's actually not why I do that, because I I don't
care about my body. But it's true, you don't really know how many size it is to take. You have to kind of do It's like the metric system. You have to kind of find the equation of how many slices of square pizza add up to be a triangle cut slice of pizza. Do you have a number for that yourself?
Not personally, because I will typically avoid getting square cut pizza whenever I can. The other big thing about it is a common argument I gain that oh it's it's nice, it's easy to eat, but no it's not. There are some like if you're getting maybe Marion's Marian's pizza, the little tiny squares over all, right, but most of them are not my sized. And I also find what you were saying earlier about you just you can it feels like you're eating less, so you just eat the whole pizza.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I and that's what I was going to say, as like a pro but I don't know why that like when that When that thought first came to my mind, it appeared to me as a as a as a positive as to why I prefer score pizza, but now now I think it as it is actually a negative. I think it's good to know how much you are consuming, so I'm on your side.
I've been very vocal about this with all my friends, about arguing about it, and it has definitely come back to bite me because in every social gathering that I'm a part of where pizza is involved, I am a plain cheese guy, love just the classic like just cheap, nothing else.
Okay, Well, when you say when you say you bring this up into every conversation and it is affected you negatively, do you do you think it has anything to do with your stance on pizza or do you think it's because you don't talk about anything else?
No?
No, no, I talk about other things. But if like we ever talk, if we ever get into the food debate. I just have like a list of several hot takes on different types of food, and this is the most Uh, this is the one that gets people the most wild up. But every time I'm in a situation where there's pizza and a group of my friends, they will exclusively get my cheese pizza square cut, and everything else is trying to cut. But they do it to fight and I and money, but and.
What do you have? What do you think about what's going on with Israel and Palestine?
Oh? What do I really? Man, I'm not I'm not too sure.
Watch there's somebody freaking out in the background. Is everything okay with with this person?
Yeah?
That that is? That is my fiance. Man, You're not gonna believe this. I'm sitting in her and sitting with her in labor and delivery. She's not giving birth.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Your wife is is writhing in pain with contractions? No background? Well, you are on the phone with a gecko debating about whether or not square cut pizza is better than triangle pizza.
No, No, she's not giving birth right now. We got a couple of weeks until that happens. We're here for just a normal checkup. She's talking to me about food for McDonald's, which is what we're going to do once wee weeks.
So I'm I'm like, your break from having to deal with your pregnant wife.
It's not really a break. No, she's wonderful.
Let me talk to her real quick.
You want to talk to her? Yeah, of course she's flipping me off. I'm being honest. I don't think she wants me to talk.
She's not.
No, she's not mad at me. She's mad at you.
Oh yeah, I feel like I'll die if I give you give her this phone. I'll be honest.
No, trust me, you should. You should give her the phone.
I should give her the phone.
You should give her the phone.
She's giving me that look like I will die if I.
Give her the phone.
No, no, no, no, this is gonna this is going to go very well for everyone involved.
Do you want to talk to the therapy?
Get go?
She said no, yeah, I honestly, when I called in, I haven't been watching the stream. I just called like a couple of minutes before you went live so I could get into queue. And I was like, I swear, if this is the time that she picks up my call, I don't know if I'll be able to take it. But no, no, this is fun.
Hayden, Yeah, go go be with your wife.
I am with my wife.
Okay, all right, I'll talk to you later.
Headen, all right, yeah, hight bye.
Love. A guy who has his priorities in line goes on the line taking your phone calls every night, the recon goes doing his eye He's teaching
You aloud in the movie line, but he's not ready an expert.