Hey, Hey, what's your name? Doug Trouts?
But everybody's always called me.
How's life Trouts?
It's been great. I went about two months of thinking I was going to be a father, So life's great.
I I'm what, uh tell me? More?
So you're gonna have to forgive him a little horse. I've been been a little sick lately. But basically, I had an ex girlfriend who I broke up with on Christmas Eve called me to tell me she was pregnant, So obviously I freaked the fuck out. And yeah, I still didn't talk to her because I was like, you know, I'd rather have got a friend of hers who I gave my number two, because I didn't think I was the father based off of all what the doctor what
she was saying. The doctor told us she said she was like three weeks along, four weeks along, but it wasn't like far enough for me to not one hundred percent. No, I was not a father. But just about two weeks ago I got confirmation that she lied about the whole thing and was never pregnant.
So let me get this, let me get this straight. All right, on Christmas, your ex girlfriend calls you, tells you that she's pregnant, and you kind of ignore it because you think you weren't the father and you're hitting on her friends. And then lady find out that she ignored the whole thing.
So I gave her friend my number. Yeah, I gave her friend my number, not for the purpose of dating her, but for the purpose of, like, hey, if something changes and this might be my kids, please let me know. But it was like weighing on me for quite a while. She was very she had mental issues. They didn't come up until later on in her dating. So I was not one hundred percent sure I was, you know, if she was telling the truth. I also wasn't you know,
even if she was. I knew she had seen another guy since we broke up, and it could be the other guys.
What did you do when you found out that she was making this up?
I went and went out and partied. We spent some of the I get better the money that I had saved up, because part of the whole thing was I was saving up in case I was going to be a dad, and I was like, I'm not have to pay child support. I'm gonna have to figure out how to, you know, pay for a car. Seat and you know, because I mean I didn't want to have a kid and not be a part of a kid's life, but I also knew I wanted nothing to do with it.
M So, well, I guess congrats on not being the father that's like, or I guess there was never even a child to be a father for.
Yeah, that was.
Sir, do you think you'd ever have kids or just you don't have one? With her? Because she was lying, I think.
Well you got it right the second time, you know, because I think part of it was conflicted is in a weird way, the idea of being a dad. You know, I'm twenty five, so I'm about that age. That's yeah, about right. Yeah, so there was a little bit of excitement for like, you know, being a dad would be pretty cool, but I just was like, I absolutely do not want it to be with her. M hm.
Hm are you are you back out dating other other people at all?
I took it was kind of weird because you know, for one, how do you even like go to a girl and say, you know, you know, you know, we went on a few dates. Also, I don't know if I'm a dad or not, but I.
Mean, you know, do you what do you mean you don't know? I thought you knew that it was it was well fake.
I meant after, I meant to after like in between that news and like in between her telling me she's pregnant, in between the lie, like finding out that she lied, So there was like a while where I was like, I wouldn't dare put another person through like having to think about that hm for me, that would be a huge like what the fuck's going on in this person's life kind of thing mhm. But I've also kind of like, I don't know, it's do I want to date right now?
Because I feel kind of emotionally taken advantage of because like the whole point of her lie is she was trying to get back to me, her back with me, and like, you know, can I really trust somebody else again?
Yea?
Or yeah take everything at face value?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, man, I completely understand that. It is. Uh, it's really hard when you've been kind of learned by something like that to get out there and like be able to trust people again as difficult. And I don't know, I don't have an answer to that, because, like it it can be hard to learn how to trust folks again.
But I I think, dude, I think a part of me wants to say that the solution is to like no, know for yourself that like you go about the world in the best possible way that you can, you would never do anything like that to anyone else, And if anyone betrays your trust in a way like that, that it's a reflection of them and not you. And you know, hopefully you feel that way and you kind of internalize that and it helps you sleep at night and live your life.
Yeah, I think it was kind of easier.
Yeah.
I had issues with my last really long term relationship, so like four years and then I was I found out she cheated on me. It's been kind of rough trusting people and getting back out there to date. I ended up not dating for two years after that, for about a year and a half.
Yeah.
Yeah, uh, take to cheat on you, but my my normal therapist and I have worked on it for quite a while.
You're you're not cheating on me because I'm not a therapist. I'm a insane, green little boy on the computer. What tell me how your therapist? Tell me what your therapists say, because like I I this is a a very interesting uh topic, and I'm I'm I'm curious what what a real therapist told you on how to deal with it?
So, uh, do you want me to start with the when I first when she first that she was pregnant.
Sure, you want to Well you said you said that, I mean, I mean you, I assume told your therapist. You were like, Hey, I had this one girl cheating on me, and then I had this other girl, uh lie to me that she was pregnant. How do I put myself out there and trust people again? And I'm curious what your therapist might have said in response to that.
Well, So what I told her was basically, at the moment, I think, you know, I need to take some some time to to like process that, at least right now, because I'm about two or three weeks into that. So I was like, I think I need to take some time away and just look at myself and then we can kind of come back to it, which she thought was a good idea because you don't want to go into another relationship with you know that in your mind that in your mind right now, it's not really healthy.
M And where have you been able to kind of successfully do that?
Like?
Are you are you going to go on a how's how's your journey of self discovery been going?
It's been pretty nice since all of that happened. I've done well. Since I broke up with her, I've done quite a lot, very different in my life. I went on a trip by myself to New Mexico, Texas. There was another state in there, Arizona, and I spent like a week and a half to myself just with my thoughts to kind of decompress that whole situation. And after I found out that I'm not going to be a dad, I've set up a trip to Japan in September.
Very cool, man. I think you're doing the right thing. I think I really think you're doing the right thing. I think your therapist is a smart person telling you that you just got to go back into yourself reflect Go to Japan. Fuck around to eat some seven eleven food.
You know, I bet they have great seven elevens in Japan.
If they they do have great seven eleven in Japan, I uh, nothing will cure depression. I don't know what I'm fucking saying. Go to go to seven eleven. Go to seven eleven in Japan. That's my not real therapist answer to this? To this, uh, to this.
You know, as weird as this is gonna sound, there is a place, very American place in Japan. I do want to go where. I've worked at Costco here for almost a decade and I'm very excited to go see their costco.
They have a Costco in Japan.
Yeah, they got a couple of them.
That's pretty cool. Well, yeah, I think your therapist is smart. I think going in for some deeper reflection is a good idea. Was this conversation helpful for you at all?
Yeah?
I think yeah it was. Uh, it was kind of hard for a while. I had to keep it to my I mean I don't I never had to, but like I've I'm very I don't like to tell people my business, and so like, there was like two people in my life that knew what was going on, and it was kind of nice to get to tell a stranger and at least, you know, complain about it a little bit. But also you're like, yeah, you're doing the right thing, but looking at yourself and taking some time for yourself.
Yeah.
By the way, can I say another thing you said, twenty five is the right time to raise a family and have kids. I disagree. I think it's the right time to go to Japan.
Damn straight.
Yeah, dude, I don't know why you're in a don't don't you know, you know, man, don't be in a rush, you know, don't be in a fucking rush to have kids and do all this shit right, like I go on go on more solo trips. I mean, I don't know. Everyone's different, every different things make everyone happy.
Uh yeah, I mean I definitely didn't think as I've never been on a trip by myself. I've always been with like family or friends. But I don't know you tend to you. I felt like I learned a lot about myself while I was, you know, at nobody else's needs to look at or you know, think about. Yeah, yeah, I think stuff like that's important.
Why is there anywhere else that you want to go on a on a solo trip too?
So at the moment, there's also so I took the whole month of September off from work. But I'm also looking at going to Korea while I'm over there, and if I can get enough money together, maybe even Australia.
Oh that would be cool, That would be cool. Yeah, do all that, you dude, don't uh, don't, don't. Don't spend a whole bunch of time like trying to figure out how you can. Uh. I don't know, I don't know. I I think you're doing the right thing, man, I don't. You don't need any You don't need me to tell you anything. You're doing the right thing?
Is there?
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No, uh, don't eat the Tosco hot dog. Sorry, it's not that great.
Take care, man, have a good rest of your night.
You too, good. Thanks?
Hello, Hi there. What's your name, Mike? Mike? What's up, Mike? What's going on?
Man?
Well, I have a few things. I guess I could I could chat with you about I I sent you with I sent you a text. I guess there's two things. I think that that peak of my interest when it comes to speaking to you. One is my alcoholic mother and the other is my quest to be either a pro wrestler. And I'll let you decide what you think is more interesting to talk about.
Well, you actually texted me. Uh, Well, you texted me those things, but you also texted me a third thing. That you didn't mention just now you you said you wanted to talk about, uh, a pepsi quest.
I'm on, I'm on a pepsi quest.
What is a pepsi quest?
I recently I was like, uh, how do is this? I'm like, I'm not really like a big soda guy. I kind of just like drinking water forever, you know. And I recently just like started drinking pepsi and I'm like kind of addicted, you know. And I guess my pepsi quest is too. I don't really know. I don't know if my pepsi quest has become like the the best pepsi man or to stop drinking pepsis altogether.
You know, what do you what is the pet What would be involved in becoming the best pepsi man?
I guess like maybe to be like a spokesperson for pepsi, you know, or like just like anything financially, Like we're like drinking so much PEPSI will like, you know, make me money in a sense, you know what I mean, Like someone can see me like, oh, that's the pepsi guy, you know what I mean? Like like.
You could be like the Jared from Subway of pepsi, except without you know, all the bad stuff and uh, the you'd be like the opposite. You'd be like, here's this guy who you know, he was eating healthy and drinking water and he uh drank a bunch of pepsi and now he has diabetes and uh is dying.
That's the thing though. Did you try that wild cherry pepsi flavor?
Dude?
It's like you can't put it down. It's so good.
Well, I mean, I guess it sounds like you've taken after your mother, but with pepsi, which is better than alcohol.
Dude, Right, yeah, I know.
Did you want to talk about that?
Sure?
Yeah, yeah, I guess. Like so, it's like it's like a bit of a well, not really a long story. I guess it's just kind of complicated, but I'm going to like shorten it for the sake of everyone listening.
I think.
So, like my like family has kind of been plagued with like substance abuse and like addiction and that sort of thing ever since I was like little, you know, like my father, I think he odeed when I was like sixteen, and then my uncle passed away like a month later from overdose as well, and you know my mom, you know, she's still alive and kicking and everything, but she's been like struggling with addiction since I was a kid too, you know, and it's like I feel like,
with my whole family, it's been a very like a strong issue, and sometimes it's difficult. I have a hard time connecting with I guess, like I feel like I have no real connection with my parents because of that.
You know, how old are you? I'm twenty, You're only twenty? Yeah I could. I thought you were in your like late thirties. Man.
Yeah, everybody sees me too and thinks that because I like this big beard and shit. But now I'm just twenty.
Well, god, damn. What what do you do? Where are you? Where are you in school? Are you? What's your life like as of today?
Well, currently, I'm just I'm working doing delivery. I don't go to school at the moment, because when I was in high school, I just decided to not I guess, just not do it. I guess, at least not now. It just wasn't for me, you know. So right now I'm working in delivery and I'm chasing my pro wrestling dream. That's kind of my life.
At the moment, pro wrestling with a plan B to be a PEPs the influencer if that doesn't work out.
Yeah, I guess essentially, you know, at the moment, that's kind of what we're working with.
Talk to me more about this pro wrestling journey.
Well, you know, it was kind of like something that's appealed to me, and I've been into her since I was like a little kid, Like I grew up in like shitty households and I moved a lot, and like, you know, like I yess, when you grew up with a mom who's like struggles with addiction, she you know, she's like, you grew up with a lot of like different men in the house and a lot of those
like really bad situations. And I feel like Pro wrestling watching it on the TV, was that one thing that kind of like distracted me and was like a comfort, you know. And I think that's why I like, out of everything I've been into since I was a kid, it was like the one thing that I guess the one thing that dragged me away, and I kind of just I've always stuck with it because of that, you know.
So what is your question, Tailor, Is there like uh, I don't know, are there open mics for pro wrestling?
Kind of That's why it's interesting to talk to you about it because I know, like, you know, kind of you did stand up and thing like that and things like that. I think, like coming up and pro wrestling and stand up I think are very similar in the sense of like it's kind of just like making connections and finding opportunities and just like like you know, working small, really shitty shows for like little to no pay and just kind of like working your way up the ranks
in that sense. You know, like I'm not I'm not a stand up guy, but I understand a lot of making it in comedy is very similar to that.
You know, what is your wrestling persona.
I'm kind of like in between characters in the moment because I'm like very new, but I'm right now I'm like doing this kind of like little like Emo Golf character, you know, because it's like I try to my wrestling character like I'm not I'm not Emo in real life or anything, but I think my character is just me in real life times ten where it's like I'm very like since I you know, someoney gets like emotional in their head, a lot like their past trauma or whatever.
And I was like, all right, if I'm gonna like talk out this in wrestling, I might as well like have an asthetic behind it. And I feel like, you know, the golf emo look is kind of very dark and into that sort of thing, you know.
Okay, real quick? Or did you say, uh, goth emo or golf.
Emo like emo golf? I mean, I know they're like different things or whatever, but I don't know.
Okay, no, no, no, you didn't hear me. You didn't hear me. Did you say a like a an emo golfer or a.
Goth emo the second one you said?
Okay, I thought you. I thought I thought I was about to be like, how the fuck did you arrive at emo golfer? That's pretty creative.
Now that'd be sick. But now it's just just a little emo guy, a little emo kid.
You know.
So what is uh hmmm? What do you do you like? Do you have like lines that you've you've written?
Well, I guess with wrestling, it's it's very much like like if I'm if I'm doing a match, depending on what it is, very much like you know, like say I go to a show and event the promoter will put together the matches, and if I'm facing Lyle, the guy will be the promoter be like, all right, you guys have a match. You're gonna go nine minutes. Lyle's gonna win, and Lyle's the bad guy, and Lyle's gonna
cheat twin the end. The rest you guys can come up with, and me and you would just kind of talk before and figure out what we're gonna do, you know, and make it, I guess makes sense, you know, and hopefully get a reaction from the crowd and everything.
You know, do you at least get like parent like, does you know how like in like real fighting they parry up by weight class, do they at least parry up with someone who looks like you kind of have a chance with.
I mean sometimes, but like I think that's like the big appeal of pro wrestling is like, you know, it's very theatrical, you know, not like a smaller guy. So sometimes they'll pair me up with a much bigger man. So it's almost like that David and Goliath story, you know of like, oh, can the small underdog take down the fucking big dude twice his size?
You know?
So it's like very theatrical and grand in that sense. You know, that's what makes it very fun and appealing to me.
I think, so, hmmm, what is your name again, Mike? Mike? What? What's what's the dream in pro wrestling? What's like the the ultimate thing? Is it to end up on the WWE? Is it to like have your own show? What would be the goal?
The end goal? It really is just to be able to have it support me, like be my living you know, wherever that is. You know, I don't really care. I just I wanted to. I want to make enough money to where that can be my thing, you know, because the way I see it, like getting paid to do something you would.
Do for free.
I feel like that's where you can say, like that I've made it in life. What's whatever that thing is? It's like if you do it for free and you're getting paid, let alone, like being able to pay your bills and ship buy it, It's like, oh, like that's all,
Like what what more could I really ask for? I feel like out of life in general, you know, it's like like this fucking make money doing something that I genuinely love and like get excited to do and not like going down to the Amazon factory or flipping burgers or something, you know.
M hm, Well, I don't know, man, I mean there is. It's interesting, right because there is I think a uh a hidden benefit I would say, to having what you do for fun and fulfillment and enjoyment and what you do to make a living as two separate things. But there's pros and cons of that, and then there's pros and cons of of having them be the same thing.
You know, I don't know I have. I have sort of unrefined thoughts and perspectives on that because I've kind of wrestled with it, no pun intended, you know, in terms of which lifestyle is better.
But I mean, it's tomorrow if you could, if you could, if you like financially tomorrow well enough to retire, right, and let's just say, like you just couldn't make like you were not you made enough to retire, and you couldn't make any more money doing the thing you do that which you still just keep doing it even if you weren't making like any money.
You know, I want to be honest with you about that. There are totally totally being completely honest with you, there are certain there's a lot of aspects to what I do, and I think that there would be certain aspects that I would I wouldn't stop being a gecko, but I there are certain like like there's certain aspects to what I do that like make money, and then certain ones
that don't. Like the ship that doesn't make money is like when I like go to Japan and interview people on the street, Like that doesn't make any money, but I love fucking doing it, So I would. I would do shit like that, and I would probably like do less like phone calls and stuff. I think. So I wouldn't give up what I'm doing altogether, but I would, uh the aspects of it that I do just because I think they're fun and cool. I would probably just do one hundred percent of those.
Yeah, I imagine like you would find it very like if you just suddenly just stop doing the get Goo thing, you would find it like, oh shit, like.
This is a big empty vot.
I got to fill it with something, you know. I guess because I feel the same way with wrestling, even though it's not my living or anything, it's like the one thing I do that I have quite often that I enjoy a lot and when I find myself not doing it for like even a couple of days, I's I got shit and like like like what do I do? And I'm just sitting around doing nothing?
You know, Well, how do you make money off of wrestling? Is it like through do you get paid to do like shows? Would you ever put on your own shows?
Oh? Yeah I would if I, like, you know, had the.
Like right now, I'm very much just like trying to get better at wrestling and making like connections and like that sort of thing or whatever.
But yeah, you.
Pretty much just get paid, like you know usually, I mean, especially when you're starting out. I imagine it's similar to stand up, where you're you're not making very much, sometimes like nothing, depending on the shone.
Hey, real quick man, real quick, real quick? Can you I don't know if you're like covering your mouth or something or covering your phone, but you sound a little muffled.
Hold on, I think my fan might be too lowed to give me a seconds?
Are you there? Did you leave? Forever on?
I'm here?
Okay, what were you saying? You're talking about how you can make money in wrestling.
Yeah, it's kind of just like fine opportunities and taking whatever money you can get, you know, but starting out that's very much more like like making connections. Like say you go to a show and you wrestle, and it's like, oh, like I met this guy. Now he wants to put on another show. And now it's like, oh, I can make Now I can start make it a little bit of money, but it's like the exposure when you start out,
very much more about the exposure and the money. You know, the money is just kind of a bonus, but you try to get exposure so down the line you can make like actual money and not like twenty.
Bucks or whatever.
Like like next like two weeks from now, I'm driving down to North Carolina. It's like eight or seven hour drive, you know, and I'll probably make like thirty or forty bucks. But it's a really good opportunity just to like get my name out there.
And shit, you know, can I give you some advice? I want to advise you.
Yeah.
So, And this is the thing that I'm like super big on is like the way because this is kind of how I how I it works a little bit in in comedy or a least how I felt that did is like the way to get your name out there as you're talking about, is to put on your own shows, right, because you could be you know, sitting around waiting for somebody to give you an opportunity or to book you on their you know, wrestling gig that
you have to drive you know, five hours down to do. Right, But what would put you in a greater advantage and also you know, establish you in the community and at the end of the day most importantly be fucking fun, is if you put on your own shows instead of waiting around for other people to to book you.
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, you're definitely right like that. That was like, that sounds awesome and I'd love to do that. I think the only thing they'll be stopping me is just like.
I guess, like.
Financially, it's like when you like just like just to get a ring, like God forbid, Like if you like, I think the like, if you're getting like a really really like s tier, fucking it's probably gonna be like ten thousand dollars.
Well what about a shitty ring?
Probably a few thousand I imagine.
About like building one on AM what about like I don't know, I don't know anything about what the startup costs. Are of professional wrestling, but you know you could Di Wyatt.
Yeah, I know. I'm literally like a moron, Like I don't even understand the logistics of even putting on a show, to be honest with you, I would love to learn. But I think also another way of getting exposed, Like you said, it's just like through social media, you know, like I'm trying to, like I post like cool little things on Instagram and shit, you know, and just like I think through the community, it's how people can see that and be like, oh, this guy is doing cool stuff.
You know, Like I do a lot of like aerial moves like backflips and things like that, and I think when you get those things on video, people seeing like, oh that was really cool. I want to see that guy actually wrestled, you know. And it's like, but just getting yourself out there. That's why I think I'm not a big social media guy in terms of like liking it, but it's very good in terms of just like getting your name out there with whatever it is you do.
You know, well, do you can you tell us like before we go, can you give us a line from your wrestling uh persona like something you maybe said in the ring or like how you introduce yourself or something like that.
Oh god, that's the thing, because like I got the wrestling down and done, I'm like, I'm I'm so bad at like talking and like like that kind of ship a line. What's a line of I've said? Oh, man, I haven't cut a lot of promos yet. Yeah, it's hard to do that without fucking doxing myself to say, I say my name a lot.
Wait a minute, yeah, go ahead, what's what's your do you dear thing?
Not my first name? I was talking about my wrestling name because my my my wrestling name is like my shoot, like I have real like last name.
You know, aren't you but I don't. Aren't you making videos to try to put yourself out there?
Yeah? I guess, I guess. I was talking in terms of like like your audience, you know what I mean?
Do you? I mean, whatever, whatever you want to do?
Man, actually fuck it, it doesn't matter, it doesn't I don't care. So my wrestling name is Rulo. And then one of my friends was like, yo, you should say uh, don't rule out Rulo, And I was like, man, that's corny and dumb. I'm never gonna say that that's corny and dumb. But then I start then I started thinking insane, and I was like, you know what, man, if I'm gonna be the underdog character and I'm just gonna start saying that,
it makes sense. And it's like a lot of wrestling catchphrases are corny and silly, but like, fuck it, I'm just gonna say it, and I say it now. And you know, sometimes people will hear and I say like, hey, yeah, I want that guy to win now, and you know whatever. But yeah, I guess that's that's the one.
Don't rule out rula, rock and ruler rock roll Rula. Don't rule out rock and roll rula. I like that.
It's it's rulo la oh.
Fuck yeah, terrible, It's cool? Uh Rulo? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I guess I'll ask you one quick question I meant to ask it.
I think I find.
I spoke to you about, like I mentioned, how like, you know, substance abuse in my family everything. It's kind of led me ever since I was like, you know, I've pretty much just been straight edge ever since then. I have to vote in my kind of a big part of my life to being like all right, like I've had a lot of family members like go down paths and like it's I have ADHD, so I know, I'm also like very I get addicted to things very easily. So I pretty much decided to cut out like alcohol
and anything like that. Yeah, how would you recommend as a young, very young man, you're very young person, just being like social big know, to be sociable and like make new friends. And that's with like that restriction that I have.
You know, that's a really interesting question. I vibe with it because I'm trying to to like drink and smoke less. I've never been a crazy drinker, but definitely a big smoker. I mean, I dude, my truly my answer to that is like I'm well, it's a few things. It's like, well,
you don't need to drink to make friends. Like all of the good friends that I have and and good life experiences that I that I have that I can think of in my life, we're not alcohol related, like alcohol like I think that that's uh, that's that's that's an a not a true postulate. I don't know who
came up with that postulate. That alcohol equals friendship. That's not true in the slightest you my, I mean, my recommendation for you as a young person trying to make friends is to put on these fucking wrestling shows, you know. I mean, that's where you're gonna make all your friends is doing doing uh uh, Because this is this is a thing that you this thing you want to do, there's a scene for it, there's a community for it.
And so if you contribute to that scene in that community and you show up every day, you're gonna fucking make a shit ton of friends. And you didn't have to take a sip of alcohol doing it. So, you know, the the key to making friends is to find or create a community somewhere I can contribute to it, not to fucking slam a fucking fifth a jack.
Absolutely, I appreciate that. Last thing I'll stay is I'll say, uh, I'll just say fucking follow me on Instagram r U L one. Oh so it's just Rulo. But the second L is at one. Maybe you've seen me some cool stuff on there maybe. And last thing out of the I noticed you use like two like background songs for your podcast for your streams, and the one with the little piano where it's like do do do do? Do that one's way back or nie, she used that one
more often. It's more calming and comforting I think I have.
I'm I feel so dumb because I have no idea what you're talking about. But I'll do that.
Okay, just listen back to your one of your things and you'll hear the exact little note.
I said, take it easy, Rula, rulo, rula? Did I did I fuck it up?
No?
You didn't fuck it up. You got it, dude, you got it.
Take care he too. Yeah, I'm on. I've been talking. I've been talking lots of shit about this. I'll keep talking lots of shit about this. I'm on my uh, trying to be on a little fitness journey. I'm trying to go to the gym, eat healthier. I'm counting my calories and my notes app all that shit. We'll see how long it lasts. We'll see how long it lasts. But part of that has been avoiding weed and alcohol. Alcohol of course, because it's like eight fucking like drink.
If you drink, you need to drink like three beers to get drunk, right, something like that, And every beer has like three hundred calories. It's like a thousand calories just from drinking. It's insane. So I'm cutting that out. I never was never really a big drinker to begin with. The thing for me is is the weed, you know, because uh, it just makes you get high and it just makes me hungry. But yeah, like I said to
I'm just I'm just gonna keep sucking it up. I'm gonna call him R. Like I said to R, uh is is? I don't. I can't think of a there's I've had some fun nights in my life getting getting drunk, but uh, it's not the Uh how do I say, like, uh, the the crux of making friends, you know, the crux of making friends. I'll just repeat what I said to him, is is uh fostering some kind of community, which is what he can do with his wrestling thing. And I
hope he hope he does it. But you know, I kind of wanted to push back on this because he was talking about how he needs ten thousand dollars. It's like, bro, isn't isn't they're all this backyard wrestling shit. Isn't that like a whole thing? Isn't that what ICP. Isn't that what the in saying clown posse he did? It's just backyard wrestling ship. Why don't you just do shit in your bed? When do you get a bunch of guys together beat the shit out of each other in their backyard?
Like you know, isn't that how it's all started? I don't I I don't know. I didn't look into it, but I don't think you need ten thousand dollars. Thanks for calling our Oh and don't get Yeah, have everyone sign a waiver? Have everyone sign a waiver?
R awesome? Ya?
Hello, Hey, Hey, what's up?
How you doing doing?
Okay? What's your name? My name is Cam, Cam. What's up?
Man?
Would you want to talk about today?
Nothing?
Man?
I just recently, I've been watching you for about a year now, and I watched like a documentary that they like did on you recently and just want to say that super cool work that you do, really inspirational, Like just the fact that you allow people to kind of have like more of like a thought on their own and just kind of let them speak freely and stuff. It just really kind of showed a different perspective on
interviewing process or kind of like podcasting and whatnot. So just really cool, won't let you do and everything.
Thank you, man, I appreciate you saying all those kind words. Yeah, that documentary I had, I had a lot of mixed feelings about it because it, uh, it showed off how it was. It was pretty much about me being miserable, I think, which by the way, I mean, look at the end of the day, great angle, right, it's the it's it's the Polyachi the clown angle.
I completely agree.
But yeah, so I guess I guess that's me. I'm a sad clown.
No, I don't understand that.
Man.
It's just like your person out the Moon honestly, for the whole like Gecko and the whole show that you have going on. So I just I feel like it really like brings a lot of value, and I think you do a really a lot of good work for people and just making people kind of think differently and have just like a way to get something off their chest and reach out to someone that they don't really know and stuff. So it's just really cool and just I don't know, it's just a really good idea. Props to you.
Thanks brother, Thank you brother. I really appreciate you saying that that's nice. You're You're right, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be so uh such a fucking asshole to myself. Well anyway, kem listen, I appreciate you saying all that. I was, buddy, what's up with you? Would would you want to? Is anything particular that you wanted to talk about about yourself? Your life?
Yeah?
Yeah, So I recently have just broken up with my girlfriend and just kind of going through kind of like a rough phase for like the last few months and stuff. And I don't know, it's just kind of like being alone. We were together for about like four years or so, and kind of just being alone with yourself now and kind of reflecting on like what had transpired and what you can do better moving forward on like for like
future relationships and stuff like that. But I don't know, do you have any like good like advice on like how to kind of get through it a little bit better. I've been trying to go out, like hang out with my friends and be more social and kind of get out and stuff, travel and kind of just do that whole thing, but just kind of mentally, I just kind of feel really down. I kind of feel like there's just an empty space kind of missing in my life. And yeah, I don't know if you have insight on that.
How long were you guys to go for? Did you say that?
Or about four Yeah? About four years?
Okay, sorry, I'm insane. About four years? And how old are you?
I just turned thirty?
Oh okay, wow, okay, So how'd you guys first meet?
We used to work at the same company and uh in a biotech company. She was a scientist and I was an engineer, and we just kind of hit it off and then we she ended up leaving from the company, and we just kept on, kept in contact and whatnot, and then I decided to apply to the same company that she was at, and then kind of we just kind of followed each other till there and started dating each other.
I could have sworn you worked at a surfboard rental place.
I get that all the time. I get that all the time.
So what what? What things have you been doing on this on this on this on this new new single life journey of yours?
So I have two French bulldogs. They've been keeping me pretty happy and whatnot, and that's pretty good. I've been going out and seeing my my family more often, which I haven't been doing in the last few years and stuff. So that's been really good, going out and seeing my friends, traveling. I just got back from Thailand a few weeks ago with a couple of buddies of mine, so that was a pretty good trip. But yeah, just trying to stay
busy and everything. But just yeah, just sometimes I just get really down and my thoughts and think, like, O was just kind of just is this just it? Mmm? Mmm?
Is this just it?
Yeah? Kind of like that feeling of like being like a gear and the cog and kind of just working, waking up kind of doing that same thing and never really kind of finding happiness. I guess that kind of makes sense.
What is it that gives you happiness? And in general or have you never? Have you not yet found happiness?
I think I've been happy a couple of times in my life. I feel like just being being a good person to other people and just having kind of re on that. And I'm really a firm believer on once you kind of like leave this earth and you're gone, that, uh, the only thing you can really leave behind is remembrance, and so being remembered as a good and kind person. That's kind of like really really kind of set with me.
And I don't know. I just I kind of try to try to do my best and just being the best I can every single day without kind of looking for anything in return. But I don't know, I kind of feel that doing more of that. I'm not looking anything from it, but I feel that I'm getting taken advantage of. And I'm starting to recognize that now by over offering myself, and that kind of makes sense.
Hmmm, how do you feel that you're getting taken advantage of or that you're over offering yourself.
I don't know.
I feel like I'm a type of person that would just go to the end of the world for someone as like a friend or anybody in my life. And when I'm kind of like in a rut or kind of down, I feel that that's kind of I'm kind of put in second place or kind of last place.
And I know that's kind of like a bad mindset to put yourself in, kind of like expecting people to kind of be there for you, and I shouldn't put myself on that mindset, but I kind of kind of kind of get lost in time to go back into that mindset of just being like, wow, like why am I doing all of this or someone that doesn't even think or even really care about what I'm really going through. Kind of sounds selfish of me really saying it right now.
No, that's a that's a that's a classic conundrum for anyone who, uh I guess identifies as a as a giver. It's like, we'll, we'll, we'll, well, the universe throw this back out at me, right, and then you're saying it's selfish, because uh, good done with the intent of receiving back is selfish.
Yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm like, oh I, I'm looking for something back, but just I don't know, I feel like being recognized or feeling that like you're appreciated really like means.
A lot for what kind of good walk tell me about the kind of good that you that you that you give into the universe.
So I'm really good into uh like dog charities and stuff. So I've been really volunteering and like dog shelters and like animal shelters because just having two dogs on my own and what's going on with just dogs and animals
in general and stuff. I kind of really put a lot of time into that, spending time with like my mother who had a kidney transplant about three years ago, and she's kind of on kind of like on a on a time time frame now since of that surgery and whatnot, So it just kind of spending as much time as I can with her and and everything and whatnot.
So I don't know, just doing right by like my friends, doing right by like my my my, my fellow employees that I work for for my company, and just kind of just being the best person I can every day.
Mm hmm, mhmm. Do you ever get anything back from that? Do you ever feel like there's there's something that you receive for yourself from doing all those things?
Oh?
Yes, of course, yeah, I get it back plenty times, fulfold. But sometimes just the people that really mean a lot in my life that I'm really looking forward to, that I I kind of feel that it's certainly sometimes certainly missing, and that's kind of where I kind of just go. And I have a lot of really close friends that are really successful in life with just where they are financially or in their relationships with stuff, and I kind of always just felt like I was kind of like
the black sheep in my group. I can never really get myself to where they need to be. And I'm I know, it's kind of bad setting expectations of like yourself to meet like where other people are. But I don't know. I just I feel that I'm like far behind, but everybody tells me I'm not, but I just in my mind, I feel that I'm behind.
M which aspects? What is a course of career and relationships? Would you say the aspects that you feel behind in?
I want to say, like most like maybe a little bit on the career side, I want to be more further in my career where that I'm at right now, But that's just kind of working your way up the ladder and taking taking a day by day aspect on it. But yeah, relationships, I just I don't know, I just the whole game of being in a relationship, the time and that you put in and then if it doesn't work out, you kind of just walk away and kind
of have to just restart again. And I don't know, it's just really really kind of sucks and just hurts after a long run. And I don't know, it's just I don't know if I want to get back into that role again. And I don't know, if you know, with now, with dating and stuff and all the apps and everything, it's just not the same how it used to be. I'm really about going to meeting someone in person rather than talking to someone on an app and stuff.
So I just feel like it's gonna be a really hard challenge kind of getting back into that relationship role.
Yeah, hmmmmmmm, you know, man, I uh, I mean, fuck, fuck fuck dude. It's uh, well, you brought up this fucking documentary in the very beginning of all of this, and as you're talking to me, I really am thinking about everything and really am like, uh, I mean, dude, I don't know. I don't know how to solve any of these fucking issues.
I know, I probably wake up every day I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna try to stigure out one of these issues and try to like work. I just kind of set it up as a list and go check one off each time. But it's just like I hit a wall and I'm just like, how do I get through here onto the next step? And I don't know, And it's just it's just I guess that's just life, and I should just kinda be happy and kind of just take it as it is and just be happy for what
I have. Honestly, I don't really know why I have too much to complain about.
Honestly, Yeah, yeah, I feel the exact same way. I feel the exact same way. I think that that's no. Really, I would think that that's that's the thing is like I'm I'm sitting here every single day, you know, upset over what I don't have instead of being grateful for everything that I do have. And I think it's it's just my mindset. That's that's kind of poisoned me in a sense. And maybe that's the same thing that's happening to you.
I really think so too. I just kind of need to get out of this bad mindset and have a different change. From my perspective.
You could also, uh it also cut your arm off.
I thought about a couple of times, starting with.
I don't know, I don't know how that would help, but you could do it.
Well. I'm an engineer, so that might sat on my duties.
I feel. Is there anything else, like the like aspect of any of this that that I can help you with or anything else? That you. Yeah, anyway, with anything else do you want out of this phone call that I can I can kind of be of help to no.
I just kind of honestly, honestly right now, just so a lot better, just kind of getting it off my chest.
Oh, good, good, good, just yeah.
I just uh, like I said before, I just really appreciate all that you do. And I love the whole aspect of your channel and just everything that you do, man. And just props to you, and thanks for hearing me out and hearing what I have to say and everything. And even though you don't have any answers to really get back and it's all good. I just really like the fact that you just heard me out. Man, Thank you very much.
Good good. Uh, let me know if you figure it out. Let me know. If you get a new beautiful girlfriend and you make a car that sells stuff, you know, I think you can do it.
So a vaccine or maybe some light innovation in the lab space, that.
Would be cool. That'd be cool if you if you made the if you made a vaccine, Hey, I'll say this and I'll end to say this. What's your name one more time?
Yeah?
Cam? Oh yes, Cam, Cam, here's what I'll say. You seem like a nice guy, So if you develop any kind of vaccine, I will take it with absolutely no questions asked, just off of your your charming personality alone. I will put anything you tell me in my body.
Oh man, just just make sure we go to the FDA process first.
Before I know, fuck the FDA. I'm on the c A M.
There you go, there you go. Well, you'll be first in line. I'll make sure I get a band aid for you.
Beautiful. Take care cam, Thank you brother.
I have a wonderful day. I appreciate you.
Goes on the line taking your song calls every night. The Repacon goes to his hide. You're just teaching you about in the line, but he's not really an expert.