THE PAPA JOHNS MISTRESS

Hello there, Hi.

What's your name.

I'm Stephanie. Hello. I didn't I honestly didn't think you're gonna call.

Well, Stephanie, what's going on. How's your evening going.

It's been good. I've been watching the stream and took a bath, you know, nice, chill night.

All right, Stephanie, I'm just gonna I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna read what you texted me verbatim.

Go for it.

My mom is wanting to hang out with Papa John's mistress again. I don't like her. I have tales of the Papa John with the women in Indiana before the extreme racism, a life of fake tits, helicopters and vagalazing.

Vaga vejazzling that is that is Have you ever heard of the dazzling deck?

No? No, no, you have to explain everything I just read. I don't know what's what's up?

So I don't know. It is a wild life here in like the North side of Indie. So my mom, one of her best friends from my teenagehood, she I guess, got entangled with the Papa John and she was like his mistress. So he would like have his helicopter and come up to Indianapolis usually run like Indy five hundred times, and they met and he would just ride her all around with his helicopter. They'd come up and meet my

Now, why do you so? Okay, so all right, so your mom is friends with the mistress of Papa John and and yours. Okay, So when you said my mom is wanting to hang out with Papa John's mistress again, I don't like it. Yes, Why do you not like Papa John's mistress?

Well, she goes for like these rich men and she's just very stuck up. I mean, I guess I would be too, if you get like a penthouse and pre tints from Papa John. She's just she's just not a very nice lady. I don't know, she's just very gives me anxiety. And she wanted me to go with her this weekend of a Saint Patrick's Day party, and she was there and I was like, Oh, I don't know about that girl. It's just Papa John's not exactly the best person.

So what is the jazzling?

So when she was down in Naples, she's in't she does like random skincare things or lashes. The jazzling is like when you like die your pube and put like jewels all around it. And I guess it's think of like bedazzling, but like vagina, Yeah.

Yeah, interesting is that something? Is this something you would ever do? Like what's your opinion on the jazzling?

I mean, I don't know. I feel like that's like a what if you get burned by like whatever adhesive they put on with the jewels, Like what what would would you bejazzle? Would you get like a bedazzled geck?

Do you think that Papa John has has bedazzled his penis so that he can put his bedazzled penis into his mistress's bedazzled vagina.

Honestly, I wouldn't. I mean, if you could see, like a gosh, what was even better? Ingredients better pizza just been like rhinestones right above the talk. I don't know, maybe that would.

Be kind of that would be kind of sick. If the dazzles on his pelvis.

On his pulvis, yes, and just have like a different like little highlights on the on the hair too.

Do you so? If all right? Look, if all right, if John Domino, uh CEO and founder of Domino's Pizza shut up on your doorstep and and invited you to a luxurious life of helicopters, uh, fake boobs and the jazzling, do you do you think you would accept the offer or at least consider or would you would you tart? Would you shut the door on John Domino?

I feel like I he might be a murderer, but I don't know. It could be enticing, Like I guess I can't hate her for it, but I that's hard. What about you? Would you be you know, a pizza lord's mistress?

Ah? Would I be a pizza lord's mistress. Oh all right, Like all right, if Wendy came to me and uh invited me to be the the the king of the what's what's the mister, I guess is the is the opposite of mistress. If I if I could be the mister of square patties and I could get unlimited hamburgers and jewels around my anus and rides from a helicopter to any Wendy's on Earth, I would have a hard time passing that up, I will say true. And for that reason I empathize with with your mom's friends.

Yeah, it's I don't know. Now, I'm almost like debating on maybe I should see her this weekend and get some more stories like I I haven't. I haven't really seen her in person for a few years. It definitely it's very entertaining to know that, like about the Papa John just randomly finding a woman in Indiana, it is quite enticing to the mind.

By the way, I just want to say that you said when you were explaining the story, you said, I don't remember what your exact words were, but you said something like, Indiana's a weird place. I've been to, Uh, Indiana and uh, this story is less reflective of Indiana and more reflective of this your mom's friend's life.

Yeah, so so I'm in these suburbs. It's called like geist Fisher's caramel. I know, it's felt like caramel that it's caramel here. And I even had like a friend his dad like spaked his death on an airplane, on like a private jet and like stole a bunch of people. It's it is a different place here. There's also a bunch of influencers it.

Is in Indiana like the like the means.

Like Jordan Underwood. There's just all these little basic girls with long hair and hats. It's like there's a bunch of them here and a bunch of them in Nashville. They're not like the super sexy ones. They're just like your basic tall boots, hats, u tah looking.

So are you what's your relationship like with your mom?

A weird, very very close, almost too close.

I feel like, what's your mom think of a of this?

This?

Uh, Papa John's mistress lady, she just.

It's just normal to her. I mean she will go with her to get into like fun exclusive things, but other than that, she kind of stays away from them, and I would rather her do that. They're not the best.

I don't know.

I feel like when she's with them, she gets manipulated into their character. And that's why I like frown upon it interesting.

Okay, so you've been with your mom to a weird eyes wide shut pizza party.

I wish there was pizza, but it was more like creepy old men.

And this is go ahead, go ahead, say say what you want to.

Oh no, I didn't know. I forgot what I was about to say.

Go on.

And this is in Indiana.

Yeah, it's it's just weird with the boomers and their single life and all the interesting shit that's going on and sugar daddies. It's I'm sure it's like this in every state, in like some sort of suburb, but it's just it's interesting around Cherry. You would never just the stories that I have encountering these folks. Is it's interesting.

Does she have a gold Papa John's card that gives her free pizza at any Papa John's location.

That's honestly an incredible question, and I'm really disappointed in myself for not asking.

So you haven't met this woman in two years?

I haven't. Yeah, I haven't seen her in a bit, So, so how.

Do you so? I guess a few things. So I mean, what, how do you know she's still with the papa?

They're not. She's not with the Papa. I think like after the whole she was with him a year after the whole issue of him we know, and he ended things with his wife and then they broke it off and she moved back to Indiana.

Damn, what's she doing now? Is she up to?

Uh? I don't know if she's still in the business of the jazzling, and I think she does lashes, So I think that's a little more of a it's a better past, you know, versus the jazzling.

Do you still eat Papa John's?

I haven't had in a bit. Sometimes I crave it, but yeah, I know I haven't happened in a while. Usually get like local places.

Is it weird that this is kind of making me crave Papa John's?

Honestly, this might be add I don't know, but it's just like you get that craving. Its like maybe like the smell and the sauce, you just like, damn you.

Know, Okay, I'll ask you this before we go, Is there any fast food restauranteur tyrants CEO person who you would be their mistress?

Hmmm, that was an excellent question. Maybe I know, like Taco Bell has like a big Australian like office, and I thought he was talk Maybe Taco Bell, I'm not sure. Don't don't quote me on that. I don't know what kind of chaos is behind that, no history knowing it's my side.

But Alexander Graham Bell lands his helicopter on your front yard and extends his hand for you to join him on a transatlantic journey. And and in his other hand, and in his other hand he as a Mexican pizza. Would you take would you take his hand? Yes?

I would love to be the fucking Taco Bell. That that is. Yeah, that's the meaning of life.

I sake, I say, I say, why not hang out with this Papa John's lady. See what she's been up to. Maybe she'll maybe she'll have more interesting stories.

Honestly, I can give you guys a little little insight. Yeah, it would be good to ask her about that card. And it's maybe you could get one that would be chef's kiss.

That would be cool if like for five guys. If you like yo, you think somebody has ever like dated all five of the guys at once. I don't know.

That kind of sounds like a porno.

Stephanie, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Ummm no, I guess just jack on. If you want to be someone's mistress, be careful. I don't know. Have a great day the jab one. Yeah, have a good one, Stephanie, all right, you two gags.

Bye. I'm gonna go order a pizza. Hey, folks, this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy Gecko live all across the country. If you've never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself. And if you've been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course

What's good?

Hey, what's up? Man? What's your name?

Oh?

Man?

John twenty two And I'm you know, I'm just kind of free balling right now.

John. You texted me and you said, I want to talk about how I have an obsession with crabs and other crustaceans due to social ostrizization.

Yes, sir, so, I don't want to keep you too long because you're a busy man, but to put along motherfucking story short, one of the various reasons I'm obsessed with crabs and animal group is because they just kind of fucking do whatever, right, and growing up with ASD, I'm very high functioning, but I'm still in the spectrum right, so you know, ship flies over my.

Head all the way just for what is ASD.

Oh off in spectrum disorder continue. So, especially with the just kind of like being not really included in most things, so to speak, family and not family wise, Yeah, you kind of form an attachment to the little chaotic, neutral things of life, you know, you kind of you start to resonate with that, and just kind of looking at crustaceans in general and seeing how they just kind of freeball big dick vibe in the you know, the primordial soup.

You We lost we glossed over two things that you just said that I want a further explanation on the first one was that a crab is whatever you perceive to be a crab. And then the second one, Oh crap, you said a second thing. Fuck? Was the second thing? You said?

Aranization?

Carson Yeah, what is that?

So?

Carsonization is the act of other creatures evolving into a crab like shape for very.

Oh yeah, okay, you said you said everything eventually becomes a crab. Okay, so tell you what.

Essentially, Yeah, that's that's where the whole meme of everything becomes a crab kind of came from. And there it's fun fact there was actually, uh, I don't know which period. I think it was like the Cretaceous or sing, yeah, it was the Cretaceous period. Ship just kept evolving into crabs and it was called the Cretaceous crab Revolution.

This is like a period like in when was the Crestaceous period?

Whenever the fuck it was?

Man, are you It sounds like it sounds like you're making this up. But even if you are, I don't.

I'm not Cretaceous.

I don't know.

That was like the dinosaurs and ship dog.

I don't mind that. I don't mind that. I have so many questions for you about things. So uh, let's get into this real quick.

Oh I'm ready.

Uh okay, all right, So where do we even start? So you said that you you identify with crabs because you feel like they free free ball, big dickatt around the world, and they don't they don't need validation from others. So I assume that you're stuck in some kind of trap where you're feeling like you need validation from others to like live your life. And shit, is that is that accurate? Not?

Really, It's more about like the solution I came to at a young age because of lack of validation.

M h, what do you want to be validate? What do you what do you want to be validated about?

I mean the thing that I would want to be validated for would just be like, you know, hey, you're an all right guy, and that's all I need. You know, I don't need to I don't need to hear you know, you got the biggest dick, you got the coolest car, you know, you got the coolest hobbies, or your wife's the hottest. It's like, yeah, like to me, that even as a young kid. To me, I never really even

What what makes somebody an al right guy in your in your opinion.

Is the willing to realize when you're wrong, but more so than that, the willingness to change and learn from that, you know what I mean. M You know, it's kind of hard to put like a price tag on what makes somebody a good or a bad person. But I think the easiest way to look at it is, if you do something wrong, are you capable of realizing it? And more importantly, are you capable of changing because of it?

Do you do you feel that, uh, you you live up to that definition that you've set for yourself.

I do? I definitely do? You know? I I it's the bare minimum you got to make sure that you can live up to something like that.

I mean, that's the most I mean, look, man, if you're looking for validation, you've you've you've kind of found it within yourself if you can answer that question exactly.

And that's why I that's why I resonate with crabs because they just do things, you know what I mean?

Does it? I don't know if a crab fits that definition. I don't know if crabs have a like developed enough brains to understand when they do right or wrong. But I also don't think the crabs are capable of object moral like bad or good. I think they just kind of they're just kind of crabs exactly.

They're chaotic, neutral, and they're trying to survive. And it's not that, you know, they have a concept of right or wrong. It's that they are in and of themselves very much themselves. They're not changing for other people. And you know that that, you know, the hearkens back to what I'm saying. You know, are you capable of change after a bad thing and learning from after doing a bad thing? And I don't see that as changing for

So I'm John, who are you? Man? What's what's going on with you? All I know about you is that you like crabs. I want to I know we said we make this quick, but I'm You've You've captured me with all this crab talk, and I'm curious.

With I'm a very interesting fella.

Yeah, what's up? What's going on in your life? Who are you?

Oh? Dude? Man? Right now, I'm just working retail, taking a gap year from college and making ends meet.

Uh.

But you know, I play a lot of video games in my In my spare time, I smoke a lot of weed. I I think I spoke to like two grams yesterday.

Two grant. Why are you smoking so much? Sweed? It's fun, It is fun. It is fun. It is fun.

And my dad was making homemade chicken palm, so man, that was helly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had to be in the right mindset for that.

Do you eat Do you eat crabs? Have you ever had a crab like to consume? Or does that? Or do you like them in such a way that you couldn't even do that?

I know I've eaten crab meat before.

M h.

It's pretty good.

Mm hm.

You sound like you're doing well.

I hope I am. You know, deep down, I hope I am. I for the past, you know, a couple a week, I would say I really haven't been doing well. But if if you can look in your side yourself and say, like, I'm not doing well right now and that's okay, then you're going to be fine.

What is it? Is there anything like specific that happened in the past weeks to make it so that you're not doing well.

A friend who I didn't know well, and I only knew him online, but every time I interacted with him he was he was a great guy. Recently he had taken his own life.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that.

Yeah, you know, and I'm I'm doing fine. But a closer friend of mine, who is even closer to this guy, he relapsed on alcohol and he was drunk for four days straight, which is a lot of time, you know, to be inebriated, and so really just kind of trudging through that kind of emotionally navigating like the circumstance. And then on top of that, you know, I had a family dinner on Sunday and I was actually like legitimately dead terrified of you know, like talking to my family.

Now, is that is that a feeling that you've you've had throughout your life that you that you were being interrupted or that people weren't really like listening to what you had to say.

Oh, all the time, man, all the time. And you know, eventually you get used to it, but it's still like it's still a burden that you shoulder on yourself, and it's still a thing that really it wears down on you no matter how small and how big it is eventually against the point where you stop keeping score, you know what I mean, it just keeps happening.

Sure, and you're you're twenty two.

I'm twenty two.

Yeah, and I'm curious. I mean, you've I assume you've been like living with your family, you know, your whole life. Was there anything about this week that made you kind of finally be like, you know what, I'm gonna address this problem.

We see, That's the thing. Even as a kid, I was trying to address that problem. So it's so weird now that like now of all times that it kind of becomes, you know, like the time where solution happens.

So how's everything with Like I know, you said you have some friends on discord? Do you do you have a good amount of friends outside of the computer?

I do? I do?

You know?

We we don't talk like as much just because, like, I'm pretty introverted, right, but like, you know, the people that I do talk to online are people that, like, you know, I've known for like quite a while, so you but outside of the computer, yeah, you know. You know, when I'm at work, I start talking to my co workers, I cracked jokes. You know, when I'm with my family, I'm cracking jokes. I'm just introverted, you know what I mean?

Mm hmm, uh oh, sorry, go on, no, no, you go ahead.

Uh My. You know my best friend who I've noticed since high school, you know, we talk all the fucking time.

Uh.

And you know, it's it's just so weird. This is completely off topic, but it's it's so weird out like there's always like the one friend after high school that you talk to and nobody else.

Do you not talk to a lot of people, a lot of people from you like did you have? Do you not talk to a lot of people from high school?

I really don't know. I never liked high school.

M M, so I guess I don't. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out what direction I want to take this conversation. And because you seem like you're doing really well all things considered, and you have this this idealization of the crab because the crab represents this like very stoic life style in your brain, right, because as you said, crabs are kind of big dicking it around the world and they don't they're not preconceived with the thoughts and opinions of other people. They're not in uh, in need

I call it freedom. It's like its own thing, you know, mm hmmm mm hmm. Well you know that's why. That's why I love crabs. They're just their own thing.

Well, I'll ask you more about your life. What do you what's what's your what are your hopes and dreams? What do you want for for life?

Oh man, I want I mean materialistic why I would love to start like collecting every fucking bionical ever that that was. That was something I was obsessed with as a kid. Oh man, I love bionicles. But I guess like in the broader, the broader spectrum of things to really like nail what I want in life. I just want to be able to like live without financial constraint, you know, which is why I'm studying cybersecurity in a in college right now. I'm trying to study for my

To talk about it. You could buy a lot of bionicals.

I could buy a lot of bionicals. Yeah, but then what else, you know, Like if I had like, you know, like fucking Jeff Bezos level funding, I would I would have a private aquarium. I would have a beautiful home, I'd get married. I wouldn't even have kids. I don't like kids. But I would be able to you know, you know, I'd be able to get everything that I wanted. But then you have you know, I'm twenty two. That's like another what like on the high end, another sixty

I'll say this, I think all the things you just described, I don't think they cost that much money because you could just buy I mean, you could buy like a tank and fill it with some water and go to the grocery store and get like two crabs, and you got yourself private water.

But like, if I were to really think about it, you know, like I don't want to just I don't want to just put a crab in a tank. I would I would want to be able to like try to at least replicate you know, part of its natural biome.

Dude. I love I did. I love just imagining you You're living your fucking life trying to replicate crab biomes and collect bionicles.

You're killing it, like yeah, and like you know at that point the only battle is boredom, but it's still a new battle, you know.

Well, John, I feel like in this almost twenty minute call, I've gotten a pretty round idea of you know, at least at a on a surface level of your of your brain and your life. Well, I'll ask you this before we go. If we go, I mean, we'll eventually go. But you know what I mean, is there anything anything that you wanted out of this phone call that that you didn't get, that maybe you wanted to talk about that, you know, I thought i'd I'd let you think about that real quick.

I'm gonna be honest, not really, I just said, fuck it, this, Dude's funny. I'm gonna give a phone call. I smoked a lot of weed and I was gonna play Tech. And but whenever I play Tech and I get like super competitive into it, and I'm a good tecond player, It's just like I'm very exhausted. So I'm not gonna be playing that game right now. That game requires a lot out of my brand.

I really, I think I over and I'm I'm all, this can be our last little tangent. But I almost think I overcomplicate happiness sometimes because maybe and and you know, we're both talking about like this thing of like, well then what else? What really is there to life?

I guess?

And it's like, look, you're hanging out looking at crabs, getting high, eating chicken parmesan, collecting bionicles. I mean that's pretty good. I don't know, what do you really need to like climb Mount Everest or or like, I mean, what else do you need to do? Those? That seems like enough?

You know, it's not about what you need to do, It's about what do you want to do? And do you know how to get there? I think the real thing is people want to do a lot of things, but they're scared of looking at how they want to get there or how they would get there, And not because they are afraid of the price tag, but rather because they are lost in the direction and don't know how to properly look for the steps. And it's hard to reach out like that. It's hard to move forward

Well, John, and I oh, no, I want that you can finish your thought.

And well, I was gonna say my final thought. Really, I guess the biggest therapy I can offer to you and even the viewers is to ponder the quote A crab is what you perceive to be a crab. Find John in that.

I look forward to when you start your own podcast where you give therapy dressed up in a crab costume.

You know what, fuck you, I'm gonna do my best to make that happen.

Please do, please do. I look forward to it. But thank you, John, and good luck to you and all of your all of your crestaceous adventures.

Tell yeah, bro, I'm in a fucking atlantis right now. I don't know what the fuck going on.

Take care, brother, yeah, do take care? Hey there, Hi? What's your name?

Jaliel?

What's up? Jaliel?

Not a whole lot yourself.

Hanging in there being a gecko talking to people on the phone. How can I get you today? Sir? What would you like to talk about?

Well, so I want to talk to you about a problem I have with my girlfriend.

Go ahead, Well, she's she's.

Not only fans. She does like really weird stuff on OnlyFans, like she does like cake farting and like muck bangs and stuff like that, and like, okay, hold on, hold.

On, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, save all those thoughts real quick. What is cake farting?

It's when a girl sits on a cake and farts on it.

You know what. I should have been able to ascertain that without asking you.

Yeah, continue, It's a very bizarre fetish. But I don't know how to feel about it because like part of me is disgusted because you know, it's gross. Yeah, But then, like you know, I want to support her because is what she wants to do.

Okay, now go ahead, you have more thoughts.

I'm just I'm kind of you know, I don't know what to do.

How How long have you guys? You guys been dating for about.

Two years almost almost three?

Okay? And what tell me more about why?

Uh? Why?

This is why? This is a point of contention, like why what? What about it? Do you feel is gross?

Well? For one, you know, when I when I walk into the bedroom and you know, I see her doing it, Like, I just I don't want to be mean, but I'm kind of like revolted, you know, like it's kind of kind of starting to ruin her image in my eyes.

Mm hm.

And I feel like she's a great woman.

Yeah, sure, sure for sure? How long have uh have you guys? How long has she been doing it for?

Oh?

All over a year now?

Okays?

Good money doing it?

Does she enjoy it? Is that her? Is she? Uh? Is she having a good time?

Uh?

I mean I think so, But like I think she's also just doing it for the money because she knows it's like a weird like fetish mm hmm. But yeah, I think I think she probably enjoys it.

Well.

Uh, I mean, do you want my personal philosophy on this kind of stuff?

Absolutely?

Okay. I mean here's the thing I don't like if this is what she wants to do with her life. Like, I don't think it's cool in a relationship to like, uh, like, it's cool it's cool for you to fuel whatever feelings you have, but I don't think it's cool to like demand her like change any aspect of her life, you know. But also, like you, as your own independent human being, have the choice as to whether or not you want to engage with it, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

I I don't know how helpful that is, but.

Well, I've never really like demanded her to stop. It's more like I asked her not to do it, like when I'm around.

That's fair.

It's like a problem because she can't really do it when I'm not around.

You know, Wait, why can't she? How come she can't do it while you're not around? Can you stop breathing into the microphone?

Oh? Sorry, But it's mainly because we both work like the same time, you know, so, like the only free time that we have is like, you know, when we're off work and we're we're around each other.

Is there a way for you guys to coordinate a solution to this that works for both of you?

Possibly? The only thing I can really think of is her like like like building her a shed like that she could do it in.

I don't know, wait, that sounds kind of cool, actually having like a cake shed.

Yeah, like you know, like a cam studio or something like that.

That actually sounds kind of cool. That could be nice, you know what, that could be nice? What you guys. Could you guys could work together to make her a little studio to do her cake stuff. I think that would be supportive if you helped her make a content studio.

Yeah.

Really, I never really thought of it before. But that's actually not a bad idea.

Well there we go. You're being you know what that actually is? And I say did because you're being supportive in like this actionable way that doesn't conflict with your own personal boundaries. I think, right, No, I do you agree with me? You can if you think this is bullshit, you can lemon, do you agree with that?

No? I No, I totally agree.

You can call it the sharp shed.

Absolutely.

Well, you know what, this was more productive than I thought it was going to be.

Me too, Honestly, I kind of I kind of felt weird bringing it up because you know, it's just it's a bizarre situation.

It kind of works to have a thing where you shit on cakes because she does the muck banging. I assume the muckbanging first, and then after eating all the food, she diarrheas on the cake.

Oh god, I hope. So I don't know. I don't really.

Watch her, you know, Hellope, Hey, what's up?

Is this where I think it is?

Sure? Is?

What's your name? Dog?

I'm Jack?

Jack? What's going on? Jack? How can I get you today?

Well? Wow, okay, I guess I'll talk about what I text about today, all right. I text about it money making endeavor, in which i've recently. I came up with it like a while ago, and I kind of tried to do it like good night and it worked a little bit. So I would love to talk about it.

Yeah, you said, I have a new money making endeavor that is quite controversial. Tell us about this endeavor?

Okay, all right, so this is gonna be okay. So for some reference, I'm nineteen not I'm a young looking guy, Like I look I look like I'm like, I don't know, I don't I like, I'm not very I don't grow much like facial hair or anything. And so I decided to make money. I was going to to find pedophiles on the internet and convince them that I'm a young boy and then get them to pay me to do things, but then don't do the things and just take the money.

How long you've been doing that?

Uh?

I Like I tried it in action like two days ago.

M h.

I mean like, like two hundred bucks you made?

You made two hundred bucks of pedophile money?

Yeah? Yes?

What?

Uh uh?

What are the other people you've told about this? I have to say about it?

I told my roommate about the plan, like like I'm like, hey, what if I what if I did this? And he was like, Oh, it'd be kind of kind of funny and kind of the conclusion we came to on it is pedophile money. So I feel like it's like of people to scam they're they're the ones that deserve scamming.

What are you How long do you think this endeavor will last?

I I don't I don't know, probably not that long. I'll probably get sick of it after a little bit. Oh No, I don't know. I'm I'm broke. I'm in college. I don't got a lot of money floating around because I don't know. I just kind of started and I didn't I didn't work enough for college. So the money that I have is is a lacking So I needed some more.

What are you doing with your with your pedophile.

Money right now? I think I'm saving up to buy? What am I saving up to buy? I guess I was trying to save up to buy skis. But season's over, so I think I'm gonna save up to buy like backpacking gears. That's kind of what I'm wanting next.

Where what do you are you trying to go backpacking?

Yeah? I'm trying to. Oh, this actually relates to something else I text you about. Yeah. I like to jump on trains, like like the ones that carry like freight cargo and jump on them and they take me places. And uh, I like to do that for a couple of days on end with my friend.

How do you buy? How do you like get the money?

Like?

Do they say like they paypalue and ship.

Like like cash app? Like I made like a like an account, but like they matched all the names of the other castsha.

Do they ever like send did they ever like report your cash ab or anything?

I don't know. I think they I don't really, I don't know. I think they'd be scared too, because I'm again, I just started this, like, so I don't know if there's any consequences yet they're probably if there are there, there yet to happen.

Have you have you experienced any any adverse effects to this?

I'm gonna go no, I'll say no. I don't. I'm not very shameful, like I don't know, I feel like I'm making money and i'm and I'm currently happy that I'm making money, so I wouldn't say any adverse effects.

Where are you train hopping to? Uh?

We we uh we were starting in Massachusetts. We took the train out of out of like western Massachusetts, and he went up to New York. So that was the second I guess took that same one up to North Adams and then the second time we took it up farther to upstate New York.

You know, if you wanted to do this in person, you could probably get a lot of free candy.

Oh, I don't think i'd pass like in person. I think it's easier with the pictures because it's like you can exaggerate, you can like, I don't know, my face is a lot less young than the than the rest of me.

Where are you? Where are you finding these people?

Well?

No, I just kind of thought of like I was thinking about usual places, like I'm like an Internet guy, so like, first I tried Discord and that failed. So then I looked I went on Google, and I was like, hmm, if I if I was if I was a pedophile, it was old and stupid. What would I look up? So I looked up gay chat room. That prevailed.

I do you do you have a like if you weren't doing this, do you have a different way that you would want to make money?

Yeah? Wait one second? Yeah?

Who?

Hello? Hello? I thought this was I thought I thought we were talking on the phone.

Sorry about that. My Uh, I had an interruption. My dog came into my room and my mom was like, get the dog out of your room, all right.

I thought it was like I thought, what if it, dude, what if it was just like thirty pedophiles right outside of your room just wanted to get back.

I don't think they're that like. I don't think they don't have that much will, like that much willpower or drive to come after me. I think after the point they've gotten scammed, I imagine they would get upset and like maybe maybe question being a pedophile.

Probably not, though, what how old are you telling everyone that you are?

Like?

I usually go like like fifteen sixteen range, that's like where it's believable. I think, do.

You do you have a different way that you desire to make money in the future?

Uh?

Well, yeah, I'm like a cybersecurity student, so uh, probably that that's how I want to fund. Like I want to like get out of college, work save up money if I can, and I want to I want to travel by a train. That's that's that's what I want to do.

Where Where's Where do you most desire to travel via train?

I don't know. I want to stay in America that seems it seems a lot easier, probably, like I'll probably end up going out west because I'm from the East. I don't want to go over there. That's not that's a new new place.

M hmm. Do you what do you do? You now these conversations do they start off sexual or do you have like polite conversation beforehand?

Oh no, no, it's usually like pretty mild to wild, like they come they come on strong, the pedophiles.

Yeah, I guess. I guess that's how they do it.

Yeah, I don't know.

Man, does your mom know that you do this?

No?

She does, she does not.

You could probably like program a fucking AI bot to like do that run this. I'm not saying. I don't think that's a good idea. I wouldn't do that. I don't think that's a good idea. But you, I guess you could.

Well, what like what how much? What would the AI be doing with the AI? Is the AI making like it just like sending me accounts? Is it like everything like making the pictures too?

No, what what you would do is you would you would show the AI like like two thousand hours of teen Nick shows, so that it learns how to talk like a sixteen year old.

Interesting, but yeah, just like the chat part would be the ar right, that could probably work.

Well, what's your name again?

Uh?

Henry, Henry? Well Henry, I mean I don't know. Uh, yeah, you should. I mean you should probably find like something more sustainable to do.

I just kind of I'm like, I was like, damn, I need I need money for food. So I thought, because I want to eat, not like I want to I want to splurge on food.

Yeah, I thought, what would you splurge on?

I don't know, I want some like good some good sushi. Maybe that's like really splurging sushi is expensive, you get some cheap sushi, and then I guess, mm hmm, crazy world we live in.

It is a crazy world we live in. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

I'll say it's everyone beware because I feel like, after after my experience with interacting with pedophiles, there might be a lot more of them in the world than we thought it. So like I'm I'm concerned that, like twenty four to seven, I can have easy access to a pedophile. It's like that seems like a lot.

Like you said, man, we live in a crazy world.

All right, Well, well, I hope the people in the computer have a nice day. I hope they do. Well.

Did you say your name was Jack or Henry?

So it's Frank.

Have a good night. Frank good night. Goes on the line making your phone calls every night, every beacon goes to a ride, teaching.

You aloud in the life.

He's not an expert.