THE MACEDONIA EPISODE

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Get this.

I'm coming to over forty cities across the United States, the UK, Europe and Australia to do this here Therapy Gecko Podcast Live. These shows will involve bringing folks from the audience up on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do on the podcast. The shows are completely unplanned, completely unpredictable, and they will be a lot of fun. So if you're a fan

All right, let's get into the episode. Hello, Hi, Hi, I'm good.

How are you?

I am good. I am calling from Macedonia. My name is Marion. I love your show. I just started watching it. I am hell yeah, because I have Macedonia phone number.

Where is Macedonia inn the freaking Balcons. It's in the freaking where.

Balcan next to Serbia.

Oh, Is that in God damn, I'm so Is that in the Middle East? Is that in Europe?

It's in your man? You know where Greece is?

No, I'm stupid. I don't know where anything is.

What the fuck are you fucking serious? What the hell? Man?

Well, let's hey, man, let'sten. Where are you from again? Macedonia? Where is say it again?

Macedonia? Dude, it's in the balcons.

Mass All right. Do you know where Baltimore, Maryland is?

Yes?

Wright, where is it the Maryland?

Stupid?

All right?

You got me? What's your name again? Maria?

No, it's mod yun Marin.

What's going on with you?

Maria?

And what How's how's life in Macedonia?

I'm poor?

Okay? Have you always been poor?

Yes? I'm on my wood computer?

Now you're on your You have a computer made out of wood? Yes, that actually sounds expensive.

I mean I carved it out myself.

Is there anything in particular that you called in to want to talk about? If not, we can just talk about you know. Actually, yeah, what's up? Hit man?

Our gecko's popular in the United States.

Our Gecko's popular in the United States. They're prevalent. We have an insurance fucking guy that I keep getting confused with and people seem to like him. How are geckos? What's the popularity of gecko's like in Macedonia?

They're not really popular amount here. I mean, you know, just cats and dogs, that's the usual stuff. All right.

I gotta go there and I gotta kind of bump our approval ratings up. Mmm yeah, sorry, Okay. So let's see. You said you're poor and you have a computer made out of wood that you carved yourself. I feel like that's a skill that you could monetize making a computer.

You one do?

I want you to mail me a computer made out of wood?

Yeah?

How much is the shipping on that? I don't think either of us could afford that.

I just send it via boat?

Send it via boat. Again, I don't think either of us could afford you making a computer out of wood and sending it to me via a boat.

I apologize.

You don't have to be sorry for anything. What time is it in Macedonia.

Currently? It's four nineteen am, almost a funny number.

Why are you awake so early slash late?

I mean, I gotta be honest if you have been playing talk off and I just want to check out your stream?

Do you normally stay up this late?

No, not really usually when I'm free right now, I don't have any work, so.

Yeah, okay, what do you normally do for work? Are you a student or do you have like a job?

Yeah? I work from home.

What do you do?

All?

Right?

Well, administration and whatnot?

Okay? And do they not pay very well?

Oh? They pay good?

You're poor?

Uh for American standards?

Yes, okay, well everything's everyone's poor in American standards. Things are very expensive here. Have you been to America?

Nope?

Where have you traveled around Europe at all? Or have you never left Macedonia?

Been a Serbia, Italy, France, Greece? That's about it. I think Slovenia as well, but I just passed through. It doesn't really count as a visit. So yeah, what.

Do you like about Macedonia? Am I saying that?

I got to be honest with you. I like the mountains? Yeah, you're singing it right, you're good.

Okay, you like the mountains. Do you go into the mountains to think and reflect about life?

I mostly hike and do that correct.

Okay, And so you go into the mountains, you hike you gather wood to make computers with, you could probably work. I mean, you could work for any company if you know how to make a computer out of wood.

Mm, you could work.

For Affect Apple making wooden computers.

Do you? Uh? What's your love life like? Do you are you in a relationship?

No? Not currently about it? When?

When was the last time you were in a relationship?

About two years ago?

Okay? What how long was that?

Three months? I think I don't remember.

Three months? Where'd you guys meet.

I at a party?

At a party?

One of our friends hosted a party and birthday party and we just met there.

And why why do you think it only lasted for three months?

I don't know. I just really I wasn't really committed to it, you know, I feel that.

I feel that. Are you like? How's your feelings about commitment in general?

Currently? Yeah? I do want to commit about I don't know. I want to I wanted to try streaming, but I got a shitty internet connection. I got one hundred megabyte mega bit I mean uploading five megabit downloads.

And that ship mm hmm.

Yeah, I guess your wooden computer doesn't get very good internet?

Correct?

Okay, So so you didn't really feel like committing. I understand. I also I have a big I'm bad at committing too. That's one of my flaws, although I don't know is it a flaw. I don't know if if, what do you think? Because I I definitely have a fear of commitment, and one could view it as a flaw, but I don't know. Commitment has commitment and non commitment have their own sets of pros and cons to them. What do you think about that?

I agree, some have pros, some have cons. You know, m hmm.

What are your current pros of being uncommitted to anything?

I mean, I got a bit more free time, I guess, I got more time to think about my future and my career and whatnot. The cons are I'm kind of lazy.

Ah me too? Fuck man, am I lazy? I've been. I've been. You know what sucks. I've been collecting a lot of trash around my room because last time I took out the trash, I didn't put another trash bag lining on my trash can, and so I've been like procrastinating doing that, and as a result, I haven't been able to put any trash in the trash can. Until

Yeah, I got the statue of fucking Yoss Tito hanging in my computer desk here for a couple of months. And I also got a bottle of moonshine here next to me as well.

Who is that guy that you have a statue of?

Yo, see bros Tito?

Well, what does he do?

I was a dictator Yugoslavia dictator?

What what about him? Uh? Made you want to get a bottle a bobblehead of him?

No, it's not a otto, it's an actual statue.

I got a little statue of him right here.

Oh, I don't know why. In my mind, you can't have a statue of someone without it being a bobblehead. But what is it about him that made you want to get a statue of him in your room?

Not gonna lie funny. And plus I collect old shit. I got a bunch of old communist badges next to me, as well, let me let me see what I've got. I got the Kunam. I got a bunch of tudo badges here of Vladimir Lenin. I got nineteen seventy nine badges. Bought these badges a lot of stuff. I like collecting old stuff.

So you have a lot of communist memorabilia because it's funny.

No, I just find it interesting. I'm not I myself. I'm not communist. I don't really find myself on the political trit terra, you know. I just find an interesting because it's old.

I like, do you I like this story?

Do you know what is this guy's name again? That you I mean, what's the guy's name again? That you have the statue of.

Yo?

What is he?

What is like?

If you have to pick one thing about him that you think he is most known for, what what what would that be?

I mean? In my opinion, I think that he kept Yugoslavia well. As soon as he died, Yugoslavia just separated, you know. And fun fact about Macedonia, we separated peacefully.

Uh has Macedonia typically like had a lot of dictators coming in and out of it?

No?

Not really, No, you know, a dictatorship it's it's almost it's like the ultimate form of commitment, like you get like you get one guy. You don't even get like to choose from a bunch of like different I don't know a board of people. It's one guy.

I mean, come to think of it, like Stalin had the power to like he's gonna snap his finger boom boom, top topic. That guy's gonna disappear, you know. Yeah, fascinating about dictators. It's also sad about it as well. I don't really excuse me. I don't, As I said, I don't really find myself in the political criteria. I'm not a communist or anything. I just don't find any political politics interesting. Are just like old ship.

Yeah, yeah, I would say that's one of Like we were talking about the pros and cons of commitment, I would say that that's that would fall into the cons.

Mm correct.

All right, you told me that you like to have time to think about your career and your future. What do you think about when you when you have these thinking sessions. Have you come to any conclusions.

I just want to get a stable life of a wife. I guess, get some kids. You know, have a good feature to get myself. I mean already have a house.

But yeah, okay, that sounds like a lot of that sounds like commitment, thank you. I guess you do want commitment, Yes, okay, good? Good?

Where do you?

Uh what when when you when you are like out there looking for you know, dates and stuff? Where do you? How do you do that?

I mean? Typically? I mean I use tender for ships and giggles. But if I actually want to get myself a date, I just go out with friends. You know, I meet you people, get to know them a little better. Better, sorry, and uh, you know, if it goes well, it goes well.

Have you been on any dates recently?

Not as if right now? I just out this job actually a week ago, and I'm kind of committed to my job currently. But I do when I you know, experienced life in the future. I just don't want to sit in my freaking home all day?

Are you like lately? Have you found yourself just sitting in your home all day?

Most of my friends are in the capitals, so I have no one to hang out here. So yes, m.

How far is the capital from where you are.

Around one hundred and seventy kilometers.

That means absolutely nothing to.

Me somewhere around there, one hundred and fifteen, one hundred and thirty somewhere on there. What'd you say? I'm sorry?

Oh, I said that? Does I I live in I have no idea what a kilometer is.

Let me convert them for you.

Oh yeah, typing on that eighty miles. Okay, that's like.

That.

So that was what that's like from here to sand Diego. All right, So it's like an hour.

I mean yeah, if you're with a car, if you're traveling by trains, the trains here fucking suck ass. That's gonna take you three hours, and buses usually take two hours to get there.

It is?

Is it lonely that all your friends live so far away?

Yes? And no they visit here. I visit them as well, so I find that fun. When I get over there, there's like a there's like tons of shit to do at the capitol, so we go to parties and whatnot, hang out, you know the usual.

Okay, so you you don't feel super isolated, but you feel like there's nothing to really do where you are.

Yes, there actually has nothing to do where I'm at.

How come you decided to live where you live instead of moving instead of trying to get a house on the capitol.

Is it?

Is it a money thing?

Yeah?

Makes sense. Okay, you have friends in the cat What do your friends do with their lives currently?

They are studying during faculty.

That's interesting. What language do you guys speak?

We'll take a guess.

Macedonian? Yep, can you say something in Macedonian? I don't really know. I don't even know what that sounds like.

I mean it's freaking it sounds like Russian kind of Well, I'll go ahead and introduce myself. Okay, Oh, yes, if you come Maria, Yes, moment forever. I just said Hi, my name is Marian and I'm currently watching the LAO foreverstream.

Ah. I like that.

How do you say thank you?

How do you say? How do you say fuck?

Ah? Ah, that's weird, it's abbey abby.

How do you say piss? Mochka? I like that. I'm gonna use that mochka. Should I come? Should I come to Macedonia? I've been doing this thing where I put all my gecko shit in a suitcase and go to a random place. Should I put Macedonia on the list?

I mean that'd be cool. I'd be happy to host you in my place.

You know, Okay, I'm into that. I you know, I'm I'm at a I feel like if I have the opportunity to go to Macedonia and hang out of the stranger's house and experience life there, I've why not? And I can see if you're lying about this wooden computer.

I gotta be honest. I was lying about the wood computer, partner.

I knew you were lying about the web computer. I don't have all the way to Macedoni. You do that, I would just go are there to hang out? What kind of food do they have?

Oh? We got typically, we got the grilled stuff. We got a traditional thing it's called sodoma. We got bucklob. I guess baked beech.

Dude, I didn't. I honestly kind of forgot. You know what I'm realizing right now. I don't know all of the countries. You know what I'm realizing right now? I don't know all of the countries.

Which country do you not know?

I can't answer that. How am I supposed to answer that question?

Like? What part of the world are they? Like, are in the Middle East, Europe? East Europe? Which country?

Do not know?

What? Most I prob.

I mean every continent except Australia and North America, probably as countries that I don't know where, Like if you brought that, see what, there's like one hundred and ninety three countries, I think, and there's no way I know all of them.

I mean, yeah, no, man's going to know all of them?

Well, I can't. Here's the thing is, like I'm not saying I'm not.

I don't.

I don't. I don't think like I couldn't sit there and name all of them. But I'm talking about like, I'm sure there's countries where somebody could bring the name up to me and I'd be like, oh I never heard of that one.

Wow, have you heard of Germany?

I've heard of Germany. Germany is easy. Macedonia was definitely like I I've heard of it before, but it was on that line.

Yeah, let's see, let's see. Let me get you a harder one.

Give me Estonia. Yeah no, I never heard of Estonia before.

Do you know Albania?

I know Albania. I didn't have.

A friend Albania.

I said, I knew it. I just did. I just kind of knew it. I didn't fully know it. I thought it was a cookie.

You thought it was a cookie.

Isn't it a cookie?

Nah?

All right, So in the future you want a wife and a child. What about for your career? What do you want to do for your career?

I mean you currently like working from home, but I like pursuing technological stuff. From my standpoint right now, I'm doing like administrative, administrative and whatnot. I like mm hmmm, that's that's kind of hard.

Where do you think we go when we pass away and die?

Uh?

Heaven? It depends you believe in heaven. Yeah, tell me tell me this honestly, I think, Well, you've lied to me once about the computer.

No I'm being but on it.

But but you came, but you came clean to me. So I have I have another I feel like you're being I feel like I've gotten you to a point now where you're not gonna lie to me again. And so I want to ask you this question.

What's up?

Do you believe that you're going to go to heaven?

Uh? Uh? Yes?

Why?

I mean I try my best to be good. If I think if I do something bad, I go to church and I just you know, in Macedonia here we're not Catholics were Orthodox, and what we usually do is my guess, we light a candle and a monastery for the dead, or if you if you want to wish something good upon someone else, For example, I would light up a candle to wish good help for my for my family.

You know, you ever do something fucked up and you're like, I can get away with this because I can just repent for it later and it's like it didn't happen.

Oh no, no, no no, I always have it on my mind.

See if I were Catholic, I would do that all the time.

That's just that's just abuse, you know.

And Judaism, I don't think we believe in a heller of all kinds, of any kind. I think it's just I think it's just heaven so we can do this. I think we can still do whatever we want. I am Jewish, I don't know, I'm not. I'm like, I was raised Jewish and shit, but I'm not like I'll go to synagogue once every three years.

What's the synagogue?

Ironically, a synagogue is like a Jewish church.

I know that I don't know much about Judaism, but I I guess you're the second Jewish guy. I've spoken to him in my life.

Who's the first.

A friend from Steam. He's from Israel.

Actually, Ah, I've heard of Israel. That's one of the countries I know.

Israel's pretty cool.

Okay, so you think you're going to heaven. What do you think it's like in heaven?

Well, pleasant clouds. I can't really explain, you haven't as I don't know. I just know that it's a pleasant place.

What do you think hell is like?

Well, one of my favorite movies is Constantine. Have you seen Constantine?

I haven't.

Well, I would like to imagine Hell as it were in Constantine. Like how to explain? It's like fire and everything? You know?

Now, what now, a pyromaniac, somebody who likes fire, perhaps sexually. Where do they go when they die?

The people that exist that like that? What the hell?

You didn't know that?

I mean, I know about proomanius, I didn't know that they would get a sexual stem out of that, you know.

See, I think it's stranger that you don't know that there's people out there that are sexually stimulated by letting themselves on fire. Then it is that I didn't know where Macedonia is I think the I think the first one is more common knowledge. I guess we are even.

Yep, we are.

You know what's crazy? You could be one of those people. You just don't. Have you ever been on fire before? No, so you don't know if it would turn you on or not.

I mean, I'm gonna go place my hand on the stove and i'll see. I'llh You want me to update you?

No, I don't want you to do that. Although I guess if you did it and it did turn you on and that brought forth like a new, beautiful sexual awakening for you, that changed your life for the better, I would want to take credit for that.

AHH. I don't know. I'm kind of afraid now. I don't want to do that. Fire scares me, you know.

Fire scares you. Are you scared of the fire or are you scared of the idea that it might turn you on? And then they want around one anymore? Some people like pain sexually?

You did?

Okay? Did you at least know that there are people out there who like pain sexually?

Yes, they're called masochists.

Yes, they're called masochists. Wait a minute, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, they're called massacusts. I was thinking, I always get massacists and sadists mixed up. The sadists are the ones that enjoy inflicting pain. Do you know about them?

About what?

I'm sorry, sadists.

Sadists? Yes, that's like liking inflicting people pain upon other people? Correct?

Yes, yeah, have you ever inflicted pain upon a person?

I mean in what sense?

I I I would say, I guess physical. I think when I think of saydism, I think mainly a physical pain.

A you mainly think of physical pain. I mean, yes, we've all done that, you know, joke where we like, I don't know, push people. I mean by people, I mean friends, of course, just push them away or something, push them in the pool. That's kind of funny. You know.

Have you ever pushed your friends in a pool and then looked down and you had a boner?

What the fuck?

No, Okay, it's not. It wouldn't look it wouldn't be that weird if you did.

I mean, it'd be funny.

It would be a little funny.

You just see some guy push his friend on the pool and get a boner afterwards. That'd be really funny.

You know what I'll come to Macedonia. I don't know what to explase it. Uh, how's it? Is it safe there? What's the what's sort of the the vibe of it's probably I would assume. I assume it's safer than Los Angeles in Macedonia.

It is correct, unless if you go at the gypsy slums?

What are the gypsy slums? Gypsy? Is gypsy a bad word?

Yes?

Oh? Fuck? All right? Well I take back saying it.

Well, you don't know what a gypsy is?

I know, I don't. I mean, I've heard the word, but I've heard it in like many different contexts, so I don't know if it's offensive or not.

Well, shit, how to explain it to you? Well, it's like me saying the N word tool.

It's like the N word, you know, for who.

Gypsies like they're brown people. I don't know how to explain it to you without you know, I'm sorry.

M okay, what about the part of Macedona? What about the part of Macedonia you live? Is it's safe? Can I walk around in like the middle of the night of my gecko costume?

Yeah? Of course?

Man, all right, will you accompany me?

Yeah? Of course? Why not?

Will you defend me if something does happen.

Dude, don't fucking drive you around the car. You can open the car door and yell as I don't give a shit.

I'll defend you, man, okay, And if you see me getting beaten up, you won't get a boner and start jacking off.

No, man, I withdraw my pistol and defend you.

Okay. Do you have a gun?

Nah? I'm kidding.

What's your relationship with your mother?

Like? But and my father is?

Well, that's good. Do you have siblings?

Nope, I'm alone. How about you?

I have a great relationship with both of my parents, and I have an older sister and I have a I have a good relationship with her too.

Oh that's nice.

So you're an only child and all your Okay, so you're an only child. What about your parents? Do your parents live in in Macedonia too?

Yes?

Are they they do? They live in the same part of it as you.

Yeah, we live in the same house. Two separate Yeah, there's like two separate stories that are like, how do I tell you? They're not like your average American home where like the stairs are located inside. It's actually quite separate. So I don't know how to explain it to you.

It's like they're two different units but the same building.

Yeah, two different units.

Okay, yeah, we have that. We have that, and you own your unit. They own their unit.

Currently. No, I'm downstairs with them. I got my computer here and everything. But if I were, I could have just moved to the other unit if I want it. I just don't want to be alone.

You know, that's good. I was gonna say it sounded kind of lonely being out of the way out in like the countryside while all your friends are in the capitol.

Yeah, it tends to be boring. I'm not in the countryside. I'm in a small town. I don't want to say which town for obvious reasons, but yeah, it's I got some friends here as well, but they're not my Actually, how to explain it, they're not my close friends. You know, I don't have the same relationship with them.

Okay, so, Arlie, So you have friends in the small town, but you don't have you're all your close friends they live in the capitol.

Yeah, that's why I don't go out.

Well, all right, what is the number one thing to do in this small town in Macedonia.

Well, if you're an alcoholic, you can go out and drunk drunk. Aside from that, nothing really.

That is what every I was gonna I knew that you were gonna say that. That is what every single person says who doesn't live in a big city when I ask him that question.

I mean, the party stuck ass because there's a lot of fucking falcon Serbian music because we're freaking Balconites, and it fucking sucks ass. There's no there. Used to be like this little club that I loved going. They only played like rock music and whatnot. But I fucking closed down because of a bar fight I think or something I don't remember, but that was the only good club that I went out. But no, I was just boring.

Are you a big club guy?

No, not really. But if there was a party with like electro music or rock music, I'd be there.

H Are you a good dancer?

I woul't think yes. I would like to think that I'm a good dancer, but I doubt on someone else's eyes. In my eyes, I think I'm a good answer.

Do you believe you're a good dancer? But you think that other people if they saw you dance would not agree with you.

I mean it's like you just gotta have fun and left, you know what I mean?

Yeah, definitely, definitely. I think I think as long as you're having fun. You know that phrase, that phrase dance like no one's watching. That's what that means. You know, just have fun, doesn't matter.

Yeah, I know that phrase exactly.

All right, give me one more country that you think. I don't know.

One more country? Uh, Lithuania, I know, Lithuania.

Keep going, You're gonna stop.

Me eventually, Gods, look's done.

Okay, everyone knows Kazaks you everything You've ever seen?

Bor At Moldova I don't know.

Never heard of Moldova. All right, you got me. I've never heard of Moldova. Where's that?

It's quite close to Russia. I think it's neighboring with Ukraine.

You ever been there?

Nope? You know that?

Yes, I do know that song new Manuva raise that play? All right? So they they got good stuff coming out of Moldova.

Let me see. I think they are yep, Moldovan. That was correct.

So the lyrics, So the lyrics of that song are Moldovian, yes, man.

I think they're Romanian some some people say they're Romanian, some people say Moldova. But I don't know.

I see, I'm so heavily influenced by all these different countries in the world, and I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know what they were.

Mm hmm. I think that there's an actual country. Uh. I doubt that you know a lot of African countries aside from Niger and uh, what's the other one called Zimbabwe and Kenya?

Okay, give me, give me some African countries.

I don't know.

I don't know myself. Uganda, Okay, everyone knows you, I know Uganda, I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna be honest.

As yeah, okay, sorry, So you also don't know all the countries I think most people there is there. Most people have at least one or two countries that somebody could bring up and be like, I've just never heard of that.

Mm hmm. Well how about you? Have you been in Europe?

I've been to Europe. I'm going back there soon to do to do live shows and stuff. Oh where Denmark, Amsterdam, uh fucking Sweden, Berlin, all sorts of places.

Are you gonna come to Macedonia.

I think I think if I came to Macedonia to do a show, I think you would be the only person that showed up.

I'll get my friends on it as well.

Man, Come on, okay, how many friends do you have?

Uh?

Wrong? Ten?

You have ten friends?

Maybe more? Maybe more?

Do you think if I did a show in Macedonia? You could get all ten of your friends to show up and your parents.

Do no problem. I could get them show up without a problem.

Would they how.

How many?

What? What currency do they have in Macedonia?

We've got dinars?

Dinars? How many dinars would they pay me to go there?

Mm hmmm, I don't know. Are the people m I don't know?

You want to open for me?

Uh sha? How much would it cost to get you here?

I have no idea?

One? Bazidian books?

H let's your name again?

Maria?

Maria? Maria? Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

I just want to say that I hope you all have a good way. Let me see what time is it over there? Hope you have good night. I think it's eleven pm Eastern time over there. Yeah, And I just want to say you met, meaning does that have a good night, have a good life.

Hey, you have a good night and a good life too. All right? You know what hit me up on Instagram? If I ever go to fucking Macedonia, if I'm ever in a some country it's near Macedonia, I might. I don't. I don't think I would go specifically there, but if I'm somewhere near there, I might go.

Just shut you a follow man, I'm a message you as well, all right.

Else, I'll I'll see you. I'll see you soon. I'll see you soon. I'll go, I'll go to Macedonia. I got nothing else to do with my life? Why not fuck it?

Uh shit? All right? All right? Uh did everything? Jesus Christ? Well, so I got a question. I got my last question here? How much did that gick was to cost you?

It wanes in price, but sometimes it's sixty dollars, sometimes it's sometimes it's one hundred fucking dollars.

Mmmm, Jesus, that's like five thousand. No wait, let me see how much is the dollar?

That's got to be like at least donars. That's a lot of dinars, are yeap?

That would lend you a really good meal? And a really good day overall.

Actually, okay, maybe I'll buy less gecko suits that I can have affo at a better time when I go to Macedonia, you.

Know, actually buy me a gecko suit when you come over your second stroll along with you, because he said that you were the only guy that was going to stroll around, you know.

Yeah, I can buy you a gecko suit. Oh yeah, I can bring I can bring one and they already have.

But it's not going to be washed, all Right's all right, man, I'll wash it.

Do they have washers and dryers in Macedonia?

We don't have dry I think we do have, but me, I don't have a dryer, but we do have washers.

Here, all right, I'll bring a wet one, all right.

All right, I'll just hang it out in front of my house for it to dry, and estimately feet or four hours from then it should be dry out. You know.

I liked talking to you.

Hey me too, man, Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too, Maria.

No, no, no, what the hell man, No, Marion, you can call me Rusky.

Now, don't say what the hell is if what I said was not like kind of similar to what I didn't say, like your name was Tom or something. I said, Marius, what's.

Your real name? Mario Yan, Marian, Marian.

Nice to meet you, Marian.

Yeah.

I hope you have a good rest.

Of your life.

Thank you you too, Take care, take care, Bud, goodbye?

All right? I mean why not? Why not? I don't know. I like sometimes I look at a map of the world and I'm like, I'll just zoom in on a random place. I'll do I'll do this with China and Russia a lot, because they're so big. I'll zoom in on a random place and I'll be like, I'm never gonna go there, but why. That's the thing about life is if you wait for magical circumstances to bring you to Macedonia, you're never gonna go there. So you have to just pick yourself up and decide you're not gonna

That's great lizard man. Yes, so you're a huge Well, I'm here for you to talk about what I said to the cal screener.

I'm guessing you what what did you say to the clall screener.

I said to the cold screener that I want to buy a boat and sail the world, see the world.

Yeah, you also said here that you want to be an influencer on Chinese social media. What's that about?

Yes, Oh, that's how I get the money to buy a boat.

Okay, So let's get this straight here. You currently live in the United Kingdom. You have a desire to sail across the world, and you're going to fund this dream by becoming a social media influencer on Chinese social media.

Yes, that's exactly right.

Okay from here? How yeah, please go ahead, take the floor? Is yours?

So my good friends from China, and from what she told me, white people are very marketable in China, and I am ready to sell my soul in order to make money in order to buy a boat.

Okay, So your girlfriend lives in China and she's saying that.

If you are no, no, she lives she lives in the UK. She is from China, Okay.

So she's from China, she lives in the UK, and she has told you that being white is a cheat code to stardom on Chinese social media. Yes, okay, so exactly, I have a few questions. So aside from just being white, what will your content consist of?

It'd be like.

Teaching my boyfriend Chinese Chinese language, trying Chinese food, whatever, and then it'd be like I don't know, I wouldn't mind even going to China, but it all gets worked out in the end us in you see what gets the views and you keep going with that.

So so is your girlfriend in on this, she's she's Chinese and she yeah, yeah, you and her? You and her would make the content together? Yes, okay? Does she have like this the like like what is the Chinese what's the name of this app?

This?

It's like Dogian or something like that.

Right, there's a there's a couple of them. There's one called like Billy bally uh, which is like the equivalent of YouTube.

Mm hmm.

I forgot to what's the Chinese equivalent.

Of TikTok called?

But there is one for sure.

Uh.

There's a couple of them mm hmm.

So how exactly do you make money by having your girlfriend teach you Chinese on YouTube?

Product place?

Where's the money? Product placements? Okay, have you guys ever made the video?

Again?

Sorry? Have you guys ever made and posted a video before?

I myself haven't. I helped my girlfriend make a couple of them because she has been making videos on social media. I helped. I've been a cameraman for a couple of them, so.

It's not that hard.

How do how are how have her videos been doing? Uh?

Pretty good? A couple of thousand these here, ten something vis there, ten thousand someone the's there?

So she told you that, you know, she's not getting as many views, but that if she had a white guy in the video, she would blow up.

No, it wasn't like that. It started by her saying that that she saw some white guy on Chinese website, Chinese social media, and he's not even that good looking, but they're giving him all kinds of promotions, which is actually a quite unimportant thing in China to be good looking, because they pay a lot of attention to your luke's And she said pretty much anything anyone can do it.

Are you a good looking guy?

Sagan?

Are you a good looking guy, I'd say above a bridge. Okay, is is that all it takes?

I'd have to.

Shave the beer though, which would be a minus.

Well, I mean, listen, you know, go for it? Why not, right, I mean, that's what I don't think. Maybe maybe maybe she's right? And uh you you know you? I mean, but do you do you like baking videos?

I don't mind them if it makes thing money?

Why not?

Do you have more than one idea for a video? Because I don't know how long uh you know, your girlfriend teaching you Chinese words will last. Actually, as soon as that came out of my mouth, I disagreed with it.

Oh no, I could probably just started off.

Okay, I would have to divers ify eventually.

There are a lot of Chinese words. It's a whole entire language.

Yeah, that would.

Last me for a while, but eventually I would have to diversify.

Okay, give me some other ideas.

A bunch of Chinese holidays. I could be trying on Chinese traditional costumes. I could be trying trying some like I don't know how I would say that. Sorry, English isn't my first language. By the way, more traditional not only food, but also the self they do during their holidays, as in, you know how for Thanksgiving in America, people come together and they kill the turkey or whatever you guys do over there, they pray to their long lost ancestors. I could try some of that.

What is your first language?

It's actually Polish?

Polish, like I sa, you're a white Polish guy. Yes, now here's my question. You can't possibly be the only guy who's come up with a scheme before, Like I'm there's gotta be you know, at least ten. I mean, I don't know, I don't I've never heard of this before. But there's got to be several other you know, white guy learning Chinese words.

Oh yeah, there's glues.

Glues. So how how what's going to be so great about yours that people want to watch that instead of the other guys? If the only thing that you're bringing to the table is that you're away.

Well, see, the thing is, there are so many people in China, someone is going to watch that anyway.

Fuck, that's a good point. Well, so should I start dubbing my stuff in Chinese to like, you know, get a Chinese audience?

You should?

Where do you want to sail in the universe. Before we go what what is?

What is?

All the Chinese social media.

Go towards the first plans, go down south, Trance, Spain, Gibraltar, Mediterranean. I'll stick around there for a while. I have a European passport, so if I needed extra money, I could work in a bar. I'm a bartender as well, a bar time.

Or whatever.

Then hopefully the Canal and in Egypt whatever you call it.

I forgot.

I'm currently not really sober right now. But go down south there, down the Asian coast at North Japan, then America West Coast, Panama, Panoa Canal, East Coast, and back to UK.

Real tell me before we go, there's the last thing on Yes, how much money are you realistically expecting to make by becoming a Chinese social media influencer.

I don't know. I'm hoping at least twenty thousand, but I'm also finishing my degree, which is currently my main priority, which is hopefully and got to bring me money as well, So it's just going to be a supplementary thing to bring me faster to my goal than I would be otherwise.

Hey, you know, fuck if you listen, I don't know if you speak Chinese, but you know you look do a Chinese therapy gecko. If you really want to, you can steal my idea. Okay, yes, all right, I'll talk to you soon.

Man.

Let me know how this pans out for you.

I will hopefully follow up. Yes, thank you very much, mister lizard.

Okay, take care, Steven. Thanks, all right, I'm thinking about this now. What is the fuck What was the name of that platform that he said? Okay, listen, if you're listening to this and you speak fluent Chinese, you know, hit me up so that we can make a Chinese version of this podcast so that I can uh sail around the world.

The repeat goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

The repak kid goes to any ride. He's teaching you cloud to liver your life, but

He's not really an expert.