Caw from Angie.
Hi. What's your name?
Angie?
Angie? What's up? Angie? How you doing?
I'm doing doing great? Geck doing? What are you up to delivering the mail? Currently?
Oh? What's what's Have you opened up anyone's letters?
No? No, I I always get that uh that one person who says I got their million dollar check, but uh, it's always in my pocket. I never delivered that one.
I got you. I got you well, Angie? What uh? What brings you to to the to this gecko thing that I'm doing? What brings you to call it? To call a gecko on the phone today?
Oh?
Man, Uh, I don't know. I've been watching you for almost two three years now, you know, since you started, I've been keeping up with you.
Uh.
Before I did mail, I used to sell ice cream. I had nothing but time to listen to you on my you know, doing ice cream.
Mmm, what kind of What was the most popular flavor of ice cream that you sold?
I sold sauce served. So it's just like vanilla and chocolate, and the amount of people who love chocolate but like hate vanilla is crazy.
What do you prefer?
I'm a vanilla girl. I'll do vanilla with everything. I just destroy it with toppings.
People hate chocolate but love vanilla.
You say, no, the opposite.
I's so surprising that people hate vanilla. I'm a big fan of vanilla. Did you sell Oh it's a soft serve? Okay, did you serve it out of a truck? Did you serve it out of a truck?
Yeah? Yeah, you've probably heard of mister Softies.
You worked in a mister softy.
Truck, Yes, sir, Yes, sir, the only one in the Bay Area.
Wow, well, yeah, I guess the Bay Area. Well actually, wait, I'm an idiot. They of course they would need They have hot summers, don't they.
Oh yeah, yeah, we got hot ass summers down here.
What did you How often were you sneaking cream?
Oh?
Dude, every day? Every day. I was being ice cream. You shouldn't be every day.
Yeah. I used to work out of this place called you Spoon, and it was a frozen yogurt store that nobody was, a failing frozen yogurt store that I, as a sixteen year old, worked in alone and nobody would come in. So it was literally I just would fucking make huge, disgusting milkshakes out of red velvet and cookie dough. It's so awesome.
Oh wow, that's my shit right there. I make the best shakes, best shape.
Yeah yeah. Why'd you get out of the ice cream business and into uh mail? Ah?
Money, money, And I moved and I moved too far away to keep doing my ice cream gig. Otherwise it's like a four hour drive there and back.
You know.
So now I just I deliver mail in a really small town. It's really nice, it's beautiful.
What's the which job was was more hectic? The mail or the ice cream? Ooh?
Uh? Ice cream was more hectic because there was more things going on. But the mail is just angry people just everyone's always mad.
Mm hmm mmmm what was I going to say? Uh? What's what? What's What's one of the more interesting experiences perhaps that you had while you were delivering ice cream?
Oh? Oh, I had h We do all sorts of events. If you know, mister Safty from New York, New Jersey area, they're all like serving in the streets and everything. But in the Bay Area we're a lot smaller, so we do a lot of like parties and that kind of stuff. And one of my favorite and more crazy stories is I did a wedding at like a like a wedding night, so it was all of the and it was starting
at ten thirty and ending at one am. So I worked my whole day, Like I got to work at nine am, and I worked and served ice cream all day and then I went to this wedding afterwards. It was like a sixteen hour day for me. And the whole day was like horrible. Everybody was like all a grumpy, and then I got to this wedding and they were just raving out. It was great.
Sounds that sounds really nice. That sounds really nice. What about uh serving? What about serving mail? Like you said, people are people are crazy? What in what way? Oh?
Yeah, Like I'm a substitute for everybody in this small town. I'm the only sub so of course there's like the regular who runs it every day, and whenever you're not the regular, people are upset, like I'm late, excuse me, I you know I don't I'm always lost, I'm a
little late. Sometimes I'm not as fast as the regular who's been doing it for like twenty years, you know, so they're always like you forgot this piece of mail, or or I had a lady the other day called my office and say that I cut her off and flipped her off. But then she knew my name because you know, she was pulling me over all grumpy, and she was like, what's your name? What's your name? And I was like, Angie, just happy to you know, be here.
What's going on?
Complaining?
What's going on in your life? Angie? Are you are is severing? Are you enjoying the experience of being alive?
Oh? Yeah, oh yeah.
Uh.
Currently, I'm I'm trying to decide if I should move on from mail, but but I seem to be the only happy person delivering mail. I try to keep it, keep it peppy, you know, like I had a rough growing up, and you know, I'm I'm able to do what I want to do right now, and so I'm just having fun with it. Like uh, like October. The every day of October, I was dressed up in a different costume every day delivery mail.
What were your costumes?
Oh, dude, I did a clown. I did a cow, like full on cow with tat ear tags and everything. I did scarecrow. I did an angel with some big old wings.
You know.
Uh, literally, if you could see if you could see it, from a block away and be like, I know what that is. That's I dressed up as that.
That's so funny. This is a really cool thing because you're saying that you're one of the only people who deliver mail that you feel as happy, and you say it's just because you're keeping it peppy, because I always, I always really feel like so much so much stuff is like it's it's just about like the perspective that you have on it and whether you're going to choose to have fun and enjoy shit.
You know.
Oh yeah, I'm a big believer in that. I'm a big believer like a lot of the regulars or maybe like forty five and up, and they're just so gloomy, and I'm like, I come in, I'm like, good morning, and they're like, Angie, just give it ten more years and you won't be all excited about good mornings. And I'm like, I hope that I turn eighty in my clown costume delivering the mail happy.
Mm hmmm, that's so awesome. Have you always been this way?
I've I've heard from other people that I am, but I personally feel like I'm just so grumpy in my personal life that there's no point in being grumpy all the time, you know.
So you say you're you so you feel like you're grumpy in your personal life?
Yeah?
Yeah, how so in what way?
Like? Uh, like right now I'm living with my future husband. We just you know, we're struggling. We're not rich or anything. I'm living paycheck to paycheck with a little debt a little bit. But you know, it's like, what am I going to do grump around all day and just fucking be MOPy about it? Like, you know, I still got to like eat and do things, you know, so I might as well do it with a little bit of pep.
Well how'd you meet your future husband?
Oh, dude, tender?
Huh cool?
Yeah, we met eight years ago on Tinder. We both just got out of high school and both of our like friend groups were like just downloaded, it's fun. And we were the first people that we met on Tinder and we just stopped there. We were like all right, locked in.
Wow. So they so high school? So are you you're like may you're like twenty seven.
Yeah, yeah, I'm actually twenty five.
Oh cool? Cool? Cool? What you say? So you say you want to get out of mail potentially.
Yeah, yeah, well what did you go in? I want to go back to ice cream. I really like serving ice cream, but I got a job offer from my father in law to do something way boring but it pays more, you know, and it's a way high position than I am now, and it's like a career that
I could do without busting my back. M. So it's just like it's one of those things where I've worked a lot of jobs, and I'm a believer in if you don't like what you're doing, you're not gonna be happy, so you might as well enjoy your job a little bit. But like, this is a job that I guess I could see myself doing, and everybody else says that I will be great at it, but it's it's a computer job, and I'm not. I'm not with the technology these days, you know. M.
What's your dream job? Like, if you could do anything, If I could.
Do anything while I'd be back in my ice cream truck serving ice cream all day. Yeah. Yeah. I I served ice cream for five years and I loved it. It was one of those jobs I got where I was I was training dogs, and I was walking dogs, and I was serving ice cream and that was like the pinnacle of my life, even though I was deadbeat, broke. It was like the highlight of my existence serving us.
That's so cool. Why was Tell me more about why was it the highlight of your existence?
Uh?
Just it's really freeing. Like when we started the Softy Company down here in the Bay Area, I started it sort of with my boss. I was like the first five employees we had down here, and we only had like four trucks, so I was like in charge of my own truck. Essentially. It was like my thing. I cleaned it up, I took cre of it, that kind of stuff. And it's really nice when I get to just, you know, drive around my neighborhood and wave and just smile, you know, and just hand out ice cream, you know.
And there's a lot of times where we have like events where it's like prepaid and there's nothing better than looking someone dead in the face and going, it's free, it's free ice.
Yeah. You're like a hero of those people.
Oh yeah, oh yeah. I'm like, no, it's free, and they're like trying to pay me. I'm like, I'll take tips you that twenty I will not argue. But the ice cream itself is free, but it was really free.
You know.
I got to essentially do what I want within reason, you know. And then on top of that, I get to eat ice cream and then food trucks. Food trucks will trade ice cream for food. So if I ever want a burrito or anything, I just pull up to the next food truck. Hey, you'ren't trade, They're usually down.
That's that's so, that's so funny. I was I a couple nights ago. I shout out the Parkway Theater in Minneapolis. I did a show there and they I went to the concessions that the manager was like, you guys can
have whatever you want from the concession stand. And we were so fucking stoked and we took popcorn and we put mic and ikes and bunch of crunch in it, and we were like so giddy, and we were like, yeah, we've been traveling around doing like these crazy shows and just nothing made us happier than like getting free shit from the concession stand. You know, it's power. There's really power in that. There's power in that.
Oh yeah, I want to even now free step is on the rise.
I want to take if anyone in the chat has any questions for Angie. I want to take some questions from the chat, if they if they have any Somebody in the chat already somebody said, you can take Angie out of the ice cream truck, but you can never take the ice cream truck out of Angie.
Oh thank you. That's an honor. Yeah, yeah, you truly cannot. I can't live without it.
It's true. Yeah, I really I feel. I feel deep ice cream truck energy within you.
Oh yeah. Even when I was doing ice cream, I did the every day of October in a different costume, and you'll pull up to the ice cream truck and there'll be a clown in there or cow, and it's great.
Somebody wants to know it's your personal favorite ice cream flavor.
Flavor out of all the flavors in the entire universe, mint chocolate chip is my favorite. But like basics, it's vanilla. I gotta go Vanilla.
A couple of people want to know if you've ever thought about starting your own ice cream truck, like going entrepreneurial about it.
Yeah, yeah, I have, And I have a really beat down old popsicle truck sitting in my driveway right now currently on the mend really, but it's yeah, yeah, I dude, Lyle, when I tell you I'm in ice cream, I'm into ice cream. But it's like it's more work than it's going to be worse for the next two years, you know, like I just don't have it in the budget, you know. But it's getting there.
It's getting there, Okay. I love I under I just want you to know. I understand the idea of like putting something off until you feel like it's just possible. But I'm giddy at the idea of you starting your own ice cream truck. I think that would be the coolest thing ever.
Thanks, Lyle. Yeah, no, when you when when I have it up and running, they'll be Lyle stickers all over it.
Well you will. It be called Angie's because that is a perfect name for an ice cream thing.
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, Angie's. And then it's gonna have like the little Angie's List star on the bottom.
You know, dude, please do that. That's so fucking cool. So I mean not to keep going, but somebody said, does she know how easy it is to get a business loan from the government right now? You don't even have to pay it back. I don't know if that's true or not. Somebody I don't know if that's true or not, but somebody in a Twitch chat did say that.
It's like it's like sort of true. I guess it depends on the county you're in. Mike County has a ton of small businesses and they're like looking at my case quote unquote, you know, looking at my case.
Let's see here. Someone said, well, what's the what do you think is the worst ice cream chain?
Ooh uh, it's either Baskin Robbins or Coldstone.
Really I love Coldstone? Why do you hit Coldstone?
Yeah? Coldstone is it's so good in like specific flavors, but most of their stuff is like, uh, it's got like freezer burn on it and it just doesn't hit right, you know. Or like you go to one and there's always some like cranky fifteen year old behind the counter. I'm like, yo, dog, you literally an ice cream shop. You need to have more pets, like.
Wow, yeah yeah? Are you like, like, do you are you very uh critical when you go when you have your own ice cream experiences? Are you like this person's.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, my my my boyfriend Scott loves to like like shut me down because I'm like, behind the counter going man, he's not really scooping that very sturdy. I bet I could flip that conupside down. There's no way he can like stuff like that. Like I'm always My big thing too, is customer service. Because before I did ice cream, I worked in a restaurant, and before that I worked in a library, and before that I worked for my parents. I did house cleaning and gardening,
you know, that kind of stuff. But it's like, I'm always customer service first, you know, because that's the face you're putting out there. If you want something in return or you're selling something, you should have at least have like a good attitude or aura around.
You, you know. But well, well also mainly just because sorry, sorry, say I want you to let you finish.
Oh yeah, especially if someone's like miss mishandling stuff Like if I feel like somebody putting scoopers back where they shouldn't be, I'm like, that's not food safety.
That's not good.
Well it's also I mean it got it's good for it's good for you too, because if you're like upset about what you're it, see, it seems to me like you know, just like good customer service and all that stuff. Like for you personally, it seems like it gives you energy. Oh yeah, somebody asked. Somebody asked, what's the trick to a perfect scoop?
So, if you're going ice cream scoop? You know that like pretty ball that everybody tries to do, that's not it. You want an oval, yeah you want to and yeah, an oval shape like like an egg sort of you know, you want sort of a point. That point goes into your cone and that cone. I promise you can flip it with three scoops on top, no problem. And then if it's like a soft serve, it's all in the
cone fill, everything's in the cone steal. If your cone is filled perfectly, then the rest of the cone is set up, you know, perfect, Angie.
I want you to make this ice cream truck so badly.
Oh wow, when it happens, you will know, well, I guess speaking of that, somebody in the chat did say, and this this is totally up to you, but somebody in the chat does want to know if you have any plugs or socials or anything.
Somebody said, do you have any socials? So we can watch this stream come to life only if you want, only if you want random folks following yet to see, if your dreams, if the truck comes to fruition.
All right, So if anybody wants to keep up, I actually I'm not on the internet, like I have zero social media, zero Instagram. I have zero. The only Instagram I have is for my dog, and it's just because I want. I want him to have photos forever. You know, I don't I don't want a bazillion photos on my phone, but I like taking pictures of him. Uh, that would be the only thing. And then you guys, don't worry. From there you will see my ice cream career blossom.
But it would be that's the only thing I have.
What's the what's the what's the dog Instagram?
If you want, it's WINSTONB dotch Nedman.
So you're gonna have to spell that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Winston w I and he s O n Winstone.
And then b win win win win st Yeah dyslexic.
I'm a little dyslexic. Winston like Churchill, like Winston Churchill, Yeah yeah, and then B dot und Man s n E d Man.
Winston b Winston b dot Sndman Let me see if I can find this.
Yeah, hold on, yeah, sorry, he's my first he's my first dog that wasn't a rescue, so I had to name him something extreme.
Oh yeah, there he is, there, he is there is Wow. Man, you got a cool life, dude.
Thank you, thank you, Lyle.
Yeah.
I I just I just enjoy what I have, you know, I if I have it and I can, you know, breathe every day and eat food and stay warm, you know, then it's all good.
Hey, this was I really enjoyed talking to you, Angie. I'm I'm inspired by by your your attitude on life. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh?
Lyle, forever wile forever, dude. I'm watching your stuff for so long, and I'm so happy I got on a call. This was my first time ever trying to call, and and I really like what you do, Lyle. Like even though you say you dog on yourself a lot, like you always say that you don't know anything and all this stuff, but a lot of the stuff you do say is pretty good.
It's all right, thank you, Ange. I really appreciate that. I well about Actually I had one more question if you don't have any social media, how did you find that I exist?
I actually my husband Scott, he's he's on Twitch and stuff and he does art and he was on Twitch. Like we like to go on Twitch just to see all the outrageous like big booby ladies who are on Twitch just shacking it. Yeah, And I were like, that does There's no way this is getting through guidelines, and it does. It's crazy, Lyle, but we always laugh at that stuff. And I was like, who's that little green guy in the corner. He was like that, I think that's Lyle and I was like, oh, and then I've
been onto you ever since. I always watched the podcast on YouTube.
Well kick ass, Well, thank you Angie, you rock. It was great talking to you.
Thanks Lil YouTube man. Are you have a great.
One you two dude?
Bye?
Oh my god? That what a what an awesome What an awesome caller? Man, what an awesome caller, she reminds. So I went to I went to I was in Minneapolis a couple of days ago, and I went to the Mall of America and it was the most stimulating thing I've ever There's no porn on the internet that says stimulating to the senses as the Mall of America in Minneapolis, and uh we went to the Beef Jerky Experience and there was a guy there who uh like
was guiding us. He like knew everything about all the beef jerky and he was like very joyously guiding us through the He literally provided a fucking beef jerky experience. And he was talking about his life and he was like, yeah, dude, I fucking work here, and I work at the uh the the Spicy Sauce place, uh right next door, and I'm chilling. I love beef jerky and I love life and I'm I'm sitting over here trying to figure out the meaning of how to not be depressed and ship.
And then I'm like, I don't know, man, some people they just have these like great perspectives and fucking great kick ass energy and they're just good at being a person and it's it's uh, it's really cool. So thanks thanks for sharing your stuff with us, Angie. Once again, if you want to keep up with her, that's Winston b dot Snedman. Good stuff. Good. Hello.
My name's Aaron Nice meining you man. I've been watching the show for a minute biggest, uh, biggest stream that I watched was a little YACHTI one I want to went crazy.
Well, thanks Aaron, Well what's up? How you doing? You have a I like your demeanor. You have a calm demeanor.
Thank you man, I appreciate it. I wanted to call today because I'm currently twenty one about it, going on twenty two in January, and ever since, like seventeen, I've been fighting a new addiction every year. But like, I don't know if this is like in like a self deprecated way, like if life is just going crazy for me. But uh, do you want to hear a little bit about that.
You've been fighting a new, a different addiction every year since seventeen?
Yeah, I don't know what the l it is.
Okay, if you want to talk about it, so check it out.
Seventeen right seventeen, I was in high school. My first ever addiction was it was admirable, I believe.
It or not?
Oh, I believe.
Uh.
Are you familiar with how the stimulant works?
Yeah? Basically, you feel like you want to die and you can't do anything right, and that you're never gonna achieve anything at all, and you're gonna h everything. You're basically you spiral and then you take a pill and then you and then you all of a sudden get flipped and you're like, oh my god, I can actually do anything I ever want to do in my life and everything's gonna be okay, and then you crash boom.
Right, That's exactly how it was going for me.
I'm uh.
I was a junior in high school and I was, you know, going on to the SAPs and I was like, all right, here we go, and I spiraled crazy. I lost it and then you know, I was like, screw that terrible, terrible to have and it wasn't really helping my pockets. So I was like, instead of buying it and using it, why not sell it and distribute it? And so on eighteen, I just started pushing it. But you know, that's not really an addiction. But to get out of it, I started flipping shoes and I got
really addicted to selling shoes at eighteen. Man, you ever, uh you ever heard about selling shoes at all?
Yeah? Like the hype beast thing is that you call that an addiction. It sounds like you're just you're being an entrepreneur.
Well, I mean I was just addicted to shoes. Man, you've you brought me any payer? Well, uh, what is chatting about?
That? Is it? Is it an addiction?
If you just it doesn't even matter if you're making money at that point, Well you're just pushing.
Okay, Well, well what's what? What was nineteen.
Nineteen? I went to weed.
I was like, you know, I was, I was having my eyes with something that made me feel really up. What's on the flip side? What don't make me feel really low?
You know?
Sure?
So, I mean, you know, we it's it's one of those things where you're either you know, you're really productive on it and you're just someone who's like a superhuman and I don't know.
How the hell these people do it.
Or you just start like spiraling and like I guess, losing uh, losing control of everything in front of you. You know, you just start wanting to change what kind of person you are. You start looking at stuff like marshmallows all day. You know, you start you start researching the.
Most random craft like hmm, what's what's a crazy one?
I remember I started looking at water and like pH levels and like looking at different types of cups to sip from.
I don't know.
I'm more of a of a of a horizontal like short cup type of guy.
What kind of stuff do you like drinking?
Hold on, brother, I'm so confused right now because you were talking about weed. Now you're talking about looking at cups on the internet.
No, that's what I'm saying.
You like hyper fixate on anything.
Man.
It's like, I don't know what we does to me, but I'm just like it just makes me really want to learn about everything, and like everything just becomes really chill.
You know. It's like one of those.
Yeah, yeah, Like I'll smoke weed and I'll look at the instant I'll look at the Wikipedia page of subjectivity and I'll be like, I'm gonna sit here and look at the Wikipedia page, read the whole Wikipedia page on subjectivity. But then I but then I get like, you know, two sentences in and I go do something else. I mean, I don't know, is there hyperfixation? How long does it stay on a track for it? Because mine is a very EIGHTYHD. I'm I'm just going all around, driving in circles around Wikipedia.
I'll go like forty five minutes to an hour if a topic doesn't have me hooked and then I'll just start pushing crazy if something's like got me going. Like I remember at twenty, I just I dropped weed and I was like, all right, Crypto, you know, let me just get addicted to the big mean thing. Let me get let me get addicted to.
Well what was I addicted to? It?
Basically should coins just what everyone's doing now. I was like, oh my god, this is terrible. I'm losing all my money left and right. I'm no longer in school now, I'm like, all right, I went from computer science when I was like eighteen to going into being an accountant afterwards. That shit was terrible.
Man.
I feel like one of the man one of the worst addictions that I've had is definitely Crypto, just because I kept pushing you know, like a different fucking I guess strategies every single like week or so. I was started looking at trading, and you know, just you start going into all these like degenerate shits, like you start going on like all these degenerate plays. But after crypto and now twenty one, this is you know, I'm twenty one right now, I got into gambling, and so life
has just been weird. I looked at what I make in a year, and I've gambled my entire salary. I went from zero to hero with this.
Did you go from zero to hero and back to zero? Or are you still a hero?
You know what, I'm actually breaking even right now, which is crazy.
Okay, great, that's a good time to quit.
Yeah, man, I'm glad you brought that up so before I turned twenty two. My thing is, if I don't break even, I'm done, you know, like I'm no longer hitting it.
Hold on, what do you?
What do you?
Okay, well, here's here's here's I'm gonna stop you for a second. Okay, Okay, so you've you've almost broken even, is what you're saying.
No, no, no, no.
What I'm saying is I'm still above the water. I'm still I'm like maybe like a grand a grand profit right now?
Oh so why don't you? Why don't you quit now?
The goal is to just keep riding the wave, you know what. Like, here's the thing. If I'm someone right who's got the I don't I got not shitty.
Look, but.
If I'm someone who's able to just ride the waves, and like, so far nothing bad has happened to me, why not just keep going. There's there's definitely like there's definitely like a I don't know, I feel like.
It's a sign or something. You know.
It's like I haven't I haven't really lost. I guess the only what do you what?
What do you? What do you mean? What kind of sign? What are you? A sign of? What?
I feel like it?
It's it's obviously not my thing.
Gambling isn't.
But I'm saying I feel like my sign is that once I'm able to continue on something for a year plus and and this is right now, is this has all been negative?
Right?
All these addictions have been pretty uh, I guess, uh, spiraling right. I feel like once I find something that's positive, I'm just gonna ride that way for like ten years or some shit. And and so far I haven't I had like I don't know, I just haven't hit big on something positive.
I like, my literally is, but what's your what's your name? What's your name again?
Aaron? Aaron? Uh?
And you're twenty one?
Yeah? Yeah?
And here's the thing, what hold on? What are you in school?
I was in school for computer science and I switched to accounting and after that, I'm like going on literally the whole year of just going to work instead of instead of going to school.
So I'm like a year into it.
And you're you're, I, look, I'm the Here's and you know this. Everyone knows this. I'm not a real therapist, but I'm interested in you. It's an interesting issue. So you're trying to find you sound like you get you get obsessed with things, like every year you have a new thing that you're obsessed with. And you're like, all right, I know that I get obsessed with stuff, so let me at least find something to get obsessed with that's positive, right.
That's and then and then and you're and you're like, let me get let me see if I can land the my crazy plane on a positive runway. And then once I do, I'm gonna rock it down that runway for for forever. This is what you're saying to me.
Well, that's the thing. I feel like, once you find something positive, you are you Definitely I had the waves longer, because you know, it's like impacting you in a positive way, like from fourteen to seventeen. I Uh, I had a girlfriend in high school and uh, you know, like that shit was just great, Like I remember like, you know, it was all fucking rainbows and happiness and sunshine and shit.
Now at that's.
Gone, it's like, oh shit, you know, you're just you start spiraling out of it, and that's uh, maybe that's where it all started.
You know.
Maybe I just became like destructive ones once me and the girl's lazy, you know what I mean.
But you feel like you became destructive once you broke up with your girlfriend four years ago.
Yeah, it could be.
So tell me, I guess, tell me this. You're saying that you want to land this plane on something positive, right to get obsessed with what what ideas do you have? What have you been leaning towards?
So, I you know, I guess I've noticed that every time that I pick up something, it's always because I started doing research on Reddit or something like. I've always just been heavily focused on using my computer to find out whatever it is I'm gonna do.
Yeah, and so.
I guess maybe using my using my uh using my computer or something good like, I don't know if that's why I picked up coding like that was fun for a while while last year. Yeah, Like, I don't know, it's just with the current field that I'm in in work. I haven't touched the computer in a while to like make a program or anything.
So well, well let me tell you. Well, can I just say this because this just popped into my brain. I just want you to I want you to know something, Aaron, You're not You're not insane. You're not insane. You're not insane. And the reason I think you're not insane and maybe, by the way, I'm by the way, I'm insane, So so me saying that you're not insane actually probably isn't worth much because I'm only saying you're not insane because I identify with your issue. But yet I am also insane,
So maybe you actually are insane. But what what I The reason I said that is because the does Sometimes I really feel like life is just uh you need to distract yourself until you die, uh because if you don't, you will slip into a pit of existential dread and uh some and it's like you you can either really distract yourself, well, most most people on Earth are distracting themselves with their own survival. That's like most people. And then if you are fucking lucky, if you're a blessed
lucky human being. Survival doesn't doesn't isn't the main thing that's distracting you from the void. And if you're that lucky, you can be distracted from the void through your relationships like this girlfriend you were talking about, or through passions, a career that you chose or whatever, like like the fucking sneakers, or you distract yourself, or you distract yourself with drugs and getting high all the time and doing
getting drunk all the time. But yeah, the struggle that you're having of like I need to distract myself with something or else I will go my my idle hands will reach for the nearest fucking gun. And yeah, maybe not that far, but but you know what I mean, Like you just will just go insane, You'll go crazy. So, yes, I understand the whole, the whole. I'm getting a d You're framing it like it's such a crazy thing to need something for your brain to land on, for you
to not not want to kill yourself. But it makes sense, So I get you. I'm in the same boat as that, and I think I think it's true, and I want you to hold that thought for a second, but I think I'm just in my personal experience with this, and I'm I'm also you know, the the idea of like, Okay, let me at least find something that's good, that's not gonna drive me crazy, that's not gonna cause me to lose all my fucking money, that's not gonna cause my
health to shoot into the fucking gutter. Yeah, you have a you're on a certain I think that makes sense to try to take all this energy and putting into something else, but something that's good. So what were you gonna say?
Man? You lost me.
Those are beautiful words. I lost my thought going on to that though.
Man, it's.
Why I was talking and you said, I hold on, I was talking and you said, you know, you said you said to me, You're like, you know what it is, you know what it is, And then you're gonna say something, you know what it.
Is, you know what it is. It's that, Uh. I think.
Throughout all the drugs that I've taken, throughout all the you know girls that I've talked to, whatever it is, it's the the addictions that I claim to have that like I guess you said weed was really an addiction, and like searching for something positive isn't always an addiction.
I don't know if I said weed isn't an addiction, but go ahead, keep going.
Throughout throughout the space. I've noticed that, like, I guess I just became like, well, I went from being like a shooting star. You know, I really patted myself on the back at seventeen for having like a I think it was like a one hundred and thirty four i Q. I don't know, I was some fucking I'm I'm somewhat smart, right, I'm I'm someone half smart. I have somewhat of a brain. From from being a shooting star to now, like you know, just living a regular life.
You know, at one.
Point with the shoe that I was making like a good I think it was like eighty ninety grand from being a shooting star making some decent money. Yeah, and now just like feeling burnt out. I feel like the distractions has helped me along the way to, like I guess remind myself that, like I could have it way worse, you know. I feel like, yeah, maybe know just being burnt out, maybe just taking losses along the way, shaping
myself back up being a regular person. Yeah, maybe maybe it was for the better man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well I think so too. That's that's the journey I'm on right now, is I'm I just don't. I don't, But I don't know if this is resonates with you or if it's what we're talking about. But I've I've I just finished my uh final like tour, and I've been running around for two years trying to distract myself from uh, you know, existential thought and whatnot. And I'm also it's been very high highs and low lows.
And I'm also like, let me just kind of keep get things normal, get things on a steady chill, not crazy pace. Okay, is that is that? Did I interrupt what you were saying to talk about something completely random or does that make sense?
No, it makes sense that you've had high highs and low lows, but you just like cut yourself off.
Made sense?
Oh? Sorry? Oh I thought I thought I finished that thought. Shit, what the fuck were we talking? What were we talking about?
Being burnt out?
Oh? Yes, yes, yes, being burnt out. Yes, being burnt out, and yes I feel burnt out. And now I'm just like, I don't know, I know, I don't know. Man, I wish I had fucking answers for you, but this, uh, I don't. I don't at all. I don't at all. I think I think. I mean, you're twenty to your you're you've got uh I'm like five six years older than you something like that, and I'm feeling pretty burnt out.
And it's like, if you're feeling burnt out, now, maybe cut yourself a little bit of a break and step back and try to approach it, approach this a little more patiently, I suppose.
Man, I'm not. I'm not one for patience. I think that's that's part of the issue.
I've definitely like, if if that's your wiring, go ahead, just don't don't hurt yourself or other people or or lose all your money. Just just I think it's okay. I think it's okay for you to be uh, be a be a crazy guy and and and and do you know, go ham and do your crazy stuff, but just be careful a little bit. Have have a couple of of uh, you know, rules in place, you know, don't you know what I mean? Like like like, it's okay, it's okay to be obsessed with things and keep keep
going down following your obsessions. But don't don't kill anyone, including you know, don't yourself. Don't do anything too fucking crazy.
Yeah, that's that's tough. But I gotta ask about the tour. So did you take any drugs on the tour?
Sure? Yeah, not like every day?
Not every day? Damn.
Can you get into specifics about that on on stream or no?
Yeah, it's not it's nothing, I dude me, it's I was. I was just in Europe and uh, me and my buddy David, who went with me, we were sitting in our hotel room, uh eating Mike and Ikes, were just eating a bunch of mic and Ikes, and we were like, we were like, man, people people people keep people are People are like, oh, tour must be so crazy, and it's just us in twin beds eating Mike and Ikes. I mean I did cocaine once, but just a little bit. It wasn't that crazy though, it was. It's whatnot. It
wasn't that. It's not that crazy. It's more it's like it's like one time doing that and then most nights just eating drinking a Coca cola at night. I don't usually drink it. I don't usually drink them at night because there's too much caffeine.
Man, we are on different boats. I I guess that's the one that I never beat.
Caffeine.
That was like since I was like three four years old. My grandma gave me like a cup of coffee and a pizza bread, and I've just been running with it ever since, you know, drinking coffee every day. But I think that's the one thing that I'll never do. And crazy, you know, I've fucking I've been on LSD seen my fucking future and shit fucking crazy.
Obviously it's you said you said you saw your future on LSD.
Yeah, it's it's well, you know, it's you're you're hallucinating, so it's not one hundred percent.
But I saw some pretty crazy shit.
Like I saw myself basically like living.
In a.
It was like a high rise or something with my feet like like I was like sitting down a little like deck looking over the city.
Of Chicago because that's where I'm from. Like just.
Like and I woke up and I was like, oh shit, Like it started off with me, you know, just closing my eyes and I was loosening just seeing ship. And then I wake up hours later and I was like, oh, shit, like it was like this hallucination was just like it also just expended into a dream and like seeing ship like that, Like it's like, how do I put this? Like basically seeing what a hallucination version of my life would have been and then going back to like just
being a burnt out star. I was like, either I fixed my.
Life, now I'm gonna let you finish, and then I'm gonna let you finish and then I'll.
Okay being on that like bright bright star, being like, you know, fucking pushing myself to the limits, hat holding myself up to high standards and being in the one percent of amongst my peers, like I guess financially and educationally, so now fucking losing it all and basically like feeling like I have no you know, I'm not even I'm not. I'm not, I'm not I'm not even in college anymore.
And I see all of my peers about it, fucking get their bachelors and ship, like seeing seeing the difference in life among the years where I kind of, you know, just spiraled out. It's kind of like blowing. It's kind of like fucking with my head where I'm like I can either make that hallucination true, or I just fucking blew it all and like picking up the drugs fucked me up?
You're can I I have so many observations about uh what you what you just said? If I can't, what's up?
What up? Go for it?
A few of them and by the and also by the way, my hypocrites. So everything I'm telling you, I'm just telling myself because I struggle with a lot of these things too. Is one is that these what just I mean, the greatest poison is comparing yourself to other people, especially when you're young, just being you know what I mean, being like, oh, my friends are graduating and I'm doing It's like who gives a who fucking cares what anyone
else is doing? It was number one and then two is like this, You're you're You're playing a crazy game with yourself right now.
Man.
You're like, You're like, oh, either I either I need to be in the top one percent financially of everyone in my age group and I need to you know, uh uh uh uh fucking have a have a super successful whatever, or I lost it all and I suck and I need to die. It's like, well, don't that's too much. That's too much. There's too much. And also, by the way, a lot of those things don't matter.
I've learned this because I've been there, and now I'm looking back at things kind of retroactively, and I'm like, oh, a lot of the stuff I thought matter doesn't matter. There's a few things that matter. And it's like, are you when you wake up? Are you do you feel sane and happy? And are you are you are you genuinely enjoying whatever it is you're about to go do? And then two, are you around other people who you like and make you and don't make you feel like you're alone?
You know?
Those are really the two things that I've identified matter because you can because everything else isn't really a road to anywhere, right, Like, like, you could have the most successful sneaker company ever, you could be the kingpin of sneakers. But if you don't if you don't actually care about selling sneakers, if you don't care about the process of selling your sneakers, and and if you've made enough money and now you're just making more just because I what are you even doing?
Just you know, show No, I'm not even at sneakers. I ended up losing at all. They long story short, there's a way you can sell your sneakers where you put them in different sneakers stories around the country, and once they sell it, they take us like pen ten percent and they give you back your money. A whole bunch of stories during COVID just kind of ran off with everyone's money and I lost that, so I had
to build up my money again by working. But that that whole comparison party about, you know, just being an extremist and having comparison just like deeply engraved into me. I think.
I don't know.
I think I've just been kind of like always drilling that into my head to kind of be wanting to be the very best, like fucking ash catch like it's just it's part of I guess, just well do it.
Just do me a favorite. And I actually think I don't want to discount that fully because I don't think ambition is inherently bad. I don't. But just just do me when you when you when you will. I can't do this for you, but like take a second, whether it's today or tomorrow, just really sit down and journal or meditate and just be like take that that that thing of like I gotta be the best and take your ambition and throw it on the table and go, okay, in what and be honest with yourself and go in
what arenas has this thing made my life better? And then in what arenas has this thing made my life worse? And try to be honest with yourself about the answers to that, and then see see what you find it could be helpful information.
Yeah, I get that. I just.
I guess off of that, you pick out what areas of life you'd like to focus on, and then you start pushing towards those general categories more and building up something positive.
Right, Oh well, I guess so well, like one other thing, one another thing before or just what is the whole the whole concept of you lost everything? Just so you know, is that whatever is inside of you that was able to create anything in the first place is no no one can ever take that away from you. That can't be lost. That's like, that's the only thing you truly
even have. And so when you think you've lost everything, you you really haven't because you're a young guy and you have the you have whatever it is that caused you to ever have anything in the first place. So, uh, you know, don't don't forget that.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Well don't don't do cocaine. I always said I did cocaine, but don't do it. I didn't even do that much.
Look that's an upper man you. It was so bad off admile man. I'm telling you, it was so bad that I'm just like, coke is just a whole nother drag and I never want to ride.
On you know what I mean?
Like that, Yeah, well I do you can? I just drink celsius. That that's my that's like my mini at a role.
It's awesome, And celsius is nothing. I remember, like, like I'm telling you. The caffeine thing, it's actually the one that I'm trying to fight right now, is actually like a month a month and a half of the caffeine. But right before I decided this, I remember I was doing like maybe like four three cels three celsius a day.
Oh my god, you have you have no idea, You have no idea how much celsius related diarrhea. I am trying not to, trying to contain so I can talk to you right now, Aaron, Aaron, is there anything else you want to say? To the people of the computer before we go.
Well, you know what, to the extremists that might be on the same boat as me. I guess Gecko is really taught, is that, you know? It's just it's all on your heads.
Guess Gecko's got to teach himself. It's all on his.
Head, you know what.
After the tour and everything, man, you kind of have to feel yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
My words to you men, hopefully it's not a year that you're going to take off that you know, you're gonna maybe lose forty pounds or whatever.
I'm not sure what exactly your goal.
Is with that. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, but.
Everyone, I guess it's about the friends you make along the way, you know what?
It surefucking is it, surefucking is. Thanks for calling Aaron. Good luck.
It's been a pleasure, man, Thank you.
I'll keep watching. Have a good one.
Yeah, that was a good call. I like talking to that guy. Uh, It's it's cool. It's cool when I like doing this because it's fun. It's fun listening to other people trying to figure out life, and I kind of get to in this one little moment sort of talk talk with them about figuring it out. Yeah, I
don't know. I really do feel that way sometimes. I really do feel that way sometimes that like we're just I'm just I just need to distract myself, even like beautiful things like uh, like you're like relationships with people that you care about and passions that are meaningful, they're all I guess there are you. They're just distractions that you need. You need distractions or else you're gonna go
and go completely insane. So I don't think that well, I guess what I heard from Aaron as I heard a guy who was looking for something to get into so that you can. I don't know when it comes to like it just I'm speaking purely of my own experience. When it comes to like depression and anxiety, I'm like, I'm I'm always you're always running away from it. Hey, I don't know, and I'm trying to deal with it, but I'm always you're running away from it, and you can.
There's healthy ways to run away from it, like through building positive relationships and uh passions and hobbies and things that keep you grounded in real life. And then there's of course uh fentanyl and uh uh mike and ice. But I hopefully you find something and then you do okay, and then uh you die surrounded by dogs, and and that was it. I hope, I hope, I hope I made any amount of sense rambling just now. And and let's and and let's take another call. Hey man, what's
your name, Jeremiah? Jeremiah? What's up, Jeremiah? How's life?
Uh?
Going good? Going good?
Uh?
A little nervous, don't be, don't be. There's this is this is This might be one of the lowest stakes things you ever do with your entire life. You've taken math tests in elementary school with higher stakes than this. What's up, Jeremiah? What would you would you want to talk about today?
I don't know, kind of just uh, just sided the call. Okay, let's see.
I've been thinking a lot about joining.
Like the military right now?
Yeah, yeah, but I don't know how like like a lot of my friends and stuff aren't very uh supportive of it. They don't like, they don't they don't like the idea.
How old are you? Twenty twenty? Okay? What what are your reasons for joining the military.
So this is where this is where a lot of my buddies are like, so I'm wanting to join. I've always thought of joining, Like I'm a physical guy, like going to the gym, working out stuff like that. So it's always seemed pretty cool. But it was always like the like the like the loneliness of it, like going in by yourself, scared of making friends and stuff. But now you know, I got a girlfriend and stuff. She's in the military, and I can go in, go through basic and stuff, and then be in her unit and
be like just like in the military with her. But my buddies are like, ooh, that's you know what if it didn't work out and then you're in the military by yourself.
So I have to add I I think that's a bad reason to join the military, right, right do you have if your girlfriend were not in that unit and you were going in alone, would you still want to talk?
See that's where because like it's like right now, I worked at like h org at the gas station, and I don't know, it's just getting it's getting. Uh what's the word monotonous? Sure, I think it's the word, or like I just wake up, come to work, go home, or go to the gym, then go home.
Yeah, you're looking you're looking to spice up. Yeah, you're looking to spice things up? Yeah, why did you? Is that?
Ok?
Here's the thing with the military is like you have to sign a little contract where it's like they kind of right. Yeah, that's what that's the big thing I don't like about it.
Yeah.
No, that's that's what's always kept me from doing it, because it's like, oh, man, you know, I signed this piece of paper and that's it, and there is no Well I don't want to do it no more.
Yeah tick backs no, Yeah, twenty twenty is a little young to I mean, look, here's the thing I'm not gonna I've I have a friend who joined the military, and it's he's had a really positive experience. And you know, I've talked to people on this show who've had positive experiences joining the military and conversely people who've had horrible experiences joining the military. But I think, again, it's it's
one of those sort of individual decisions. And if you're only if your only thing is well, my girlfriend's in it, I think that's a bad thing.
Yeah no, I mean so like she tells me, so she's been in there for a little bit, and you know, she'll tell me about like what she does and stuff, and like, you know, it comes back to the like her life in the military seems so much more interesting than it does cleaning up shit after truckers, you know what I mean.
Okay, well, let's let's get into that. What is it about her life in the military that's exciting to you?
I don't know, like being around a bunch of people kind of all doing the same thing. Yeah, they get in Like I love I love working out. Being in the gym is a big part of like just what I really enjoyed doing. Yeah, and you know they do that as like things like they do that as a job. They travel, and it just seems just like that's just that's that's really cool, you know.
Cool. So look, here's what I would say is you have these you don't expressly want to join the military, but you expressly want to. You've ident this is good, You've identified like, Okay, I want to be around other people, I want something that's communal, I like things that I
like being physically active, and I want to travel. And I would I would I would write those three things down and I would be like, let's come up with some ideas that are just joining the military where you can kind of fulfill those goals because those are I mean, there's a lot of things you can do under the umbrella of those three things that aren't just joining the military. Have you thought about that.
Yeah, I don't know, it just seems it seems very uh. I guess, like I don't know how to put it. Like I just like when I try to think of something like you know what I could do, I pull blanks, you know, like, Okay, I'm not sure.
I don't I don't want to expressly dissuade you from it because now that now that you have identified three things that aren't just the fact that your girlfriend's in there, how long how long do you have to sign y'all your your life away for?
So I think it's like it's like five years of like on, yeah, on, like like you're working, you're doing military stuff, and then I think it's another like three years of like, yeah, hey, if World War three happens, we're coming to get you. You're coming with us, and they're gonna, oh.
My god, they want you for eight years.
Yeah, that's typically they want god.
Man. Yeah, you can look, brother, you could find a better job to just work outside, you know, what I'm saying.
Yeah, this is good though.
This is you've identified uh three things that you want out of your life. Mm hmmm, Uh are you have you have you sort of really tried to brainstorm other things that could satisfy that, but that aren't just signing an eight year contract.
Yeah.
No, I've always like I've always like thought about so, like I got a bunch of buddies. They like the gym too, and we've always like said that we would want to like, uh like start a gym up and like just on our own gym because like in my mind, that sounds like that way I could be. I'd be around people that work out, I'd be making money off of it.
Uh cool.
Like anytime I would have like friends or something come to the gym with me for the first time, I've always like it. It It made me feel good to like teach them something that I've been doing for a long time and helping them reach their goal. That sounds you know, I like that, But it's a that's I feel like, that's like starting up a gym. That's just something you know, I'm twenty, I ain't got a whole lot of money, you know.
Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, how that like, can you become a personal trainer?
I've looked into it, but it seems like there's like a lot of uh like you gotta like.
A lot of them.
Is like you got to like go to college and be like uh like good with uh like you know, on the specifics and stuff like I don't know.
How about a having that thing much? How about like being being like a firefighter.
You know, I've definitely I'll put thought into that, but uh, i'd have to stop smoking. That's one of the few things that kind of stopped me from doing that.
But weed or cigarettes, uh we oh, I don't think it's a terrible idea to stop smoking weeds.
No, No, it's it's not.
Well, definitely, go ahead.
You go ahead.
No, I've definitely thought about being a firefighter, but it's always what's always worried me about that is just like the like the pay and stuff, which I know you're not supposed to worry about pay. I guess, you know,
you know, but like I kind of live. I still live with my parents right now, which is you know, it's good, you know, I don't I don't have to pay bills or nothing really, so that's you know, it's always good to save my mind, but you know, eventually I kind of want to I'm wanting to move out, try to get an apartment.
M hm, well, he like here, I guess. Here's what I would say is if hopefully, if you gleaned anything from the phone call, it's like you've identified three things that you want is to work outside, be around other people, and uh, travel, And I would say I'm a big fan of like kind of doing away with commitments to vessels, if that makes sense, Like, like the military is just
a vessel for these underlying desires that you have. And I believe that there's there's a multiple different vessels that you perhaps haven't thought about yet that could fulfill those underlying desires. So I wouldn't I wouldn't laser focus in on the one vessel that you've identified that require is you to you know, sign a contract for eight years and go kill a bunch of people in some place, right, unless unless you like killing people. Some people like killing people some people.
What's your name again, Jeremiah?
Jeremiah? Was it? Did you? Was this a good phone call for you? Did you? This is helpful?
Yeah?
I'm surprised that I even got through nice.
Well, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Ah? God, bless I hope you have a good one get.
Thank you Jeremiah, you take care you too. Life is crazy, goes on line taking was teaching you exp