“TALES FROM AN UNDERGROUND SEX DUNGEON”

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or gek Legends, as I call them, we'll be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely

I'm doing okay, I'm getting ready to go out right now. I'm doing my makeup, which is very exciting. I can just get into it. I guess I'm going to a b d s M kink party tonight. It's anime semes and I am going to get walked around on a leach on.

It's a Sunday night. So don't you just do you guys not have work tomorrow or you I do?

I work at six in the morning tomorrow, and I worked this morning. I worked at Yeah, I work somewhere that I probably shouldn't be going to a BDSM kink club. So can I.

It's okay if you want to keep it under wraps, But where is it you work where you add that you probably shouldn't be going to a b DSM kink club.

I work at a place of worship. I work, Yes, I do interesting now.

Look, I am of the opinion that you can have both a relationship with God and enjoy kinky BDSM sex. I don't think those two things are mutually exclusive.

See, and that's my thoughts exactly. But I just think it's a little funny to be at church this morning. I was like, I am, and then I'm getting ready, like right now, I'm wearing like a latex in her shelfheit and it's just like funny to go for my church close.

To that, you know, now, is this something that you have always been been interested in?

No? So kind of. Actually it's complicated because I was in a relationship for a really long time, so I didn't get to explore my sexuality. And then when I broke up with him, I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna try everything, and I went a little crazy, but we dialed it back in and now we're going to like safe events and safe things, and we're doing that to just like explore. So I have not done this before, leased not to this capacity, and it is new for me.

Now when you say when you say you the way you said safe things, like were you going to stuff that was unsafe? And if so, what made it unsafe? Oh?

God?

Okay, So like last summer, I decided because we broke up to like about a year and a half two years ago, and I was like, oh, I'm going to meet up with every dude on Tinder ever and I didn't. Actually like, it's complicated about that because I didn't wind up sweeping around as much as I wanted to. But I did try to go to a couple people's houses about telling anybody where I was going, and without having

Watch there there goes. Yeah, once again to the rescue.

Honestly, yeah, it saved my life a few times.

But okay, so you uh so, I guess so you broke up with this guy and you were like, I'm gonna just meet up with every dude from tender ever and that was your version of a of an unsafe environment.

And I did. Sorry, I actually I did wind up going to This is a little bit more recently, but I went to some concert recently and I was gonna go by myself if my friends didn't push me. But it was just at someone's house, Like I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't want to tell anybody where I was going, and I was just like, yeah, I'm just gonna show up at this random person's house by myself and I'm just gonna vibe. And to me,

Well, well, I mean was it's uh I mean when you say it was at a guy's house, like it was like a house show, like a like one of those DIY punk shows.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was really cool. But I did get hurt in the last bit, and if I had been alone, I could have gotten like seriously hurt.

So now, how did you start getting into these uh, these these more I guess official events.

So I have a friend who was working as a stripper for a little bit, and he was like, oh, you should do this, that and the other with me, and I was like, okay, fuck it, I'm gonna know. And and I guess when he was a striper, he wound up getting all his stripper friends were telling him like, oh, you know, there's these different events you can go too, and so he wound up pulling them on Instagram and he showed them to me, and then that's how I wound up getting involved.

And how many how many of these events have you been to so far?

Oh god, I've been to so many. I've been to mostly his shows. So I went to like I want to say, like seven or eight of his shows, and then I've been to two or three like kinky clubs, and they're all like different pop ups, so those are pretty cool. But this is the first time I've run on one this big, which is really exciting.

And is this Are these events adding joy and value into your life?

I think that adding human experience, Like it sounds so crazy, like maybe there's joy, maybe there's not. I really don't know, but I really love trying new things and going out and doing new things. Like today, I just felt a breeze in my body and I was like, oh my god, it's like I'm a human. I getting to experience human things and this is part of that, you know, So I would say yes, but also not.

Directly, you know, it is interesting, so like fundamental to the human experience, like one of the most fundamental things to the human experience, and yet consistently relegated to a domain of shame.

Exactly. And I think about that probably a lot more than I should. And so like when I first became single, I was like, I'm going to talk to every sex positive friend that I know, and when she's gonna get like different perspectives, I was so scared to like I don't know, just like explore that side of myself and talk to people about it and be open.

You know, what did you learn from talking to your friends?

Oh? I think the biggest thing is that like everyone has a really different perspective on sex, because like I talked to a few of my friends that are like, oh, no, you've got to save it for the right person whom you're in love with. And then I have this other friend that I talked to who like he was like, oh, yeah, I just have he I think he's had sex with like two hundred r hundred people something crazy like that, and not to fund shame, it's just not normal, you know.

Yeah, dude, you know, I I've been seeing a lot of this these like TikTok videos of of like people talking who are very like anti porn and anti sex work and OnlyFans and stuff, and like, I don't know.

I don't feel like they're with all this stuff. I don't feel like there is a right answer, you know, or right or wrong. It's just like we were lucky enough to live in a world where you get to make your own decisions inform your own opinions about it. And so for some people they're like, you know, I've had sex with three hundred people and whatever, it doesn't mean anything to me. And then for other people they

One hundred and like, I think it's really exciting to get to explore those perspective, Like, I don't think I'm sorry, I don't think I could see myself like having three hundred sexual partners. I think for me, it's still kind

What's the what's the Christian deal? Are you Christian?

Oh? So I was raised Christian and then I did this guy who was atheist for a long time, and he was really like one of those atheists that was like everyone's atheists are your stupid? And I was like, okay, this was weird. Anyway, he kind of made me move away from the faith and I wouldn't consider myself religious sinning is now, I'm definitely agnostic, but I've been working on healing my relationship with Christianity whether or not I

What do you exactly do for them?

I do a lot of things for them. I really don't want to dox myself right now, but I do a lot of their creative stuff.

I should I could say what kind of creative stuff, like it's.

Any creative management.

I do that, Okay, I like, do you like run their Instagram or something? What would I mean? You don't have to talk about what anything you don't want to talk about, But what kind of creative things are they doing?

All sorts of things. I help with, presentations, I help with I do help with social media. That's most of what I do. I do a lot of like graphic design for them, and I really like doing that. Like, I am so grateful to have this job because I work two jobs. I go to school full time, and I like, I like this job a lot.

Would you ever hide a big penis in a folder somewhere and on a flyer like somewhere like industry.

You know it's probably not, But where I would hide it is in my office somewhere. I would hide it in my office or whoever comes next, you know what I might. Now that you said, that's.

That's not a good idea, I mean it is fun though.

Well, I actually did something similar to my old food service jobs because I worked in food service for a long time. I did that's like five five or six years. And when I did that and the couple of stores closed, not finding fault other than Brent going up, I hid like little drawings of things around the store for the new managers to find, and it would be like I'd label them X out of six and I would only put five drawings in the store. Three jobs.

Have you ever seen this thing of how somebody hid a penis on the cover of the Little Mermaid VHS no, google it, Yeah, somebody hid a penis. They had to like recall of this. I don't know if this is true.

Wait, wait, actually I have seen this. I have seen this that thought a long time ago when I was like I think I was like fifteen when I saw this. That's why it didn't click.

Now, what's your ultimate goal? What do you want to do with your life?

Oh gosh, that's that's a great question, because I've been trying to figure that out because at first I was like, you know, I want to get married and have a good husband or wife I don't know, and like, I don't want to be happy in that my love life. And then my love life fell apart and I was like, shoot, well now I really have to focus in on my art.

Oh my gosh, do you.

Meet Is there a strong community aspect to this sex dungeon thing? Are you meeting a lot of friends there?

So I'm going with my friend who is no longer a stripper, and then he invited one of his friends and I'm excited to meet her. And there's lots of people there. From what I can tell, the first general admission sold out, and then the VIP did not, so I almost had to get VIP of.

Well how much how much it cost to get in?

Well, my ticket was a little over one hundred dollars and my outfit was about Yeah, my outfit was probably about oh god, the two fifty and and then you buy drinks and so there's even more in the drinks aspect of it. You know, I gotta find my booty shorts.

That is a that's an expensive sex dungeon. Geez? What is though? Is it just like is it just a show or like people walk around and like fuck each other afterwards?

Oh god, I wish no, It's it's just a club like it's a club environment, I think. And then they have they do have like a I'm as far as I can tell, they have a show and it is someone getting tied up on stage and it's actually really cool. I followed them on Instagram. They're super cool. They've gotten banned a couple of times. I followed their new accounts and there's drinks and mingling, and I think there's a

I went to, Oh, I I want you to I want you to know something. I want you to know something. You saying you don't yuck. This guy's young. You you preferencing, you laughing at that guy who gets kicked in the balls for sexual pleasure. I want to give him. I want to give him some credit because he knows that that's funny.

How does he figure this out? That's what I want to know. Apparently he's notorious in my local area. So I was talking to a friend about it, one of the friends, because I talked to a few friends about sex, and they have sleft with like two or three hundred people, and I was like, Hey, I went to this kinky club and I saw this guy getting kicked in the balls. How funny, Like it was just weird. And my friend was like, oh, it told up a fucking picture of the guy on their phone and goes, yeah, I'm not

You know, I always it's five to talk to people about this kind of stuff before. I'm not I'm a pretty vanilla guy. I'm not a big like uh uh, you know, beat the shit out of me or kick me in the balls, or piss in my mouth or

I feel like I kind of agree, and I think that's also why I'm going to things, because like, I know, I'm telling you that I'm going to this DS and kink party of getting walked around in the leash, but I've never I've actually never had sex in a BDSM way. I've never my ex dexys this for like, god, almost long long ass time, we never tried anything kinky. I mean the Pregulus thing, it was like public stuff. But you know what, maybe I shouldn't say that on a podcast, but too late.

So before we go, what's the like, what is there? I mean, you don't have to get as specific or general as you want, but what's the thing you're most excited to do? It says here You're walked around on a leash.

That is absolutely what I'm the most excited about, because I've wanted to try that type of thing before, and like the humiliation stuff, I think it is really really fun and it's super embarrassing, but also like I don't know, I've always been kind of into it and so I'm excited to have that opportunity, especially with a hot girl.

Oh my god, I want to know. I want to know. I want to go ahead, Fisher, you're gonna.

Say, Oh, I'm gonna say, I'm still only looking to make friends. Oh, she's so hot.

She is.

I'm just excited to have fun with the friends.

So you know, what do you want to know if you went to the confessional and you told the pan I love getting walked on in this sex dungeon. I love getting shown around on a leash. I love this crazy BDSM sex stuff. But I don't know if it aligns with the religious institutions that I have aligned with. What do you think he would say? I'm just knowing priests and knowing you and your life. What do you think he would say?

So that's a great question because one time I went into his office and I saw a book about sex on the table. It was something like Priesthood and Sex, Everything you need to know, And I was like, I'm gonna take a picture of that and get my idea of what he thinks about it. So I'm not just like.

I don't know.

They're pretty accepting it is this point, and I think them. Being accepting means that they won't. I don't think they'll have a problem with it. I really don't. I do think they might not want me representing them if I'm talking about it, but that's a little bit different.

You know.

I'm not posting nude photos of myself online.

So all right, Well, I'm definitely going to go to Kindle and search for Priesthood and Sex and read at least the first couple pages of that book, because it sounds very interesting. What did you did you read any of it?

No? I just took a picture of it. This was relatively recently, so I didn't get a chance to. I'm really busy, so it's like hard to do the things.

Yes, sounds like you have a very very busy schedule.

Absolutely, I am going to see you in La.

Oh you're coming to see me in La.

I'm coming to see you in La. I'm so excited about it. I'm leaving class early to come to see you. It's not your fault. I just wanted to I would do it anyways, but I'm very excited about it.

Beautiful. Well, thank thank you, Matt. Well are you were going to say maybe you want to come talk about this on stage.

Yeah, maybe we'll see. We'll see for sure when when the time comes.

I'm trying to think. I feel like we've I feel like I've talked to somebody on stage once about this. I talked about Dominatrix in London. That was pretty interesting. They came on siring all this like spiky gear and stuff. I was afraid that they were going to poke my eye out with it, so I moved to the chairs back a little bit. But uh, aman, there's anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Stred Love not hate, and uh do what's best for you. So thank you. Have a good night, guys.

Thanks Amanda, have a good one. Yeah. I should have asked what the club was, you know, just for research purposes. Actually I was in. I was in uh Poor. I did a show in Portland recently and somebody came on stage and talked about uh we know. It wasn't Importland. It was san Fran. Yeah, I was. I was just showing san Fran and somebody came on stage and talked about his experience going to one of those dungeons. I've never been. I kind of feel like it would be

All right, next call Hardy howdy?

He's going, Yes, sir, is this Uh pork? That's a great fake name. I love that pork. What's going on?

You know, just living the dreams? Sometimes it's someone else's dream, but we're out here living. But yeah, but how are you? It's so nice to hear your lovely voice.

Uh, it's good to hear yours too, Man, what does pork come from? Where does? Where'd you come up with that name?

So my entire life have been called pork chop by all my homies. I have friends whose parents don't even know my real name. They've known me for decades and it's just pork chops. So there's not really an origin story behind it, just pork.

Well, pork. It says here that you called in because you uh you say. It says here you lost your girlfriend to do to drugs and pro institution and you want to talk about that?

I mean yeah. You know, I don't really talk to many people about it because it's kind of obviously on the more embarrassing side. But I guess, I guess you could say my whole life, I've had a bit of an issue with impulse control, whether that be like spending money like an ass, just wanting to get things done as soon as possible, getting as high as I can as quick as I can with no issues. For a while there, I was using pharmaceuticals like a lot of people our age tend to do, and I had an

Now. Okay, So you didn't tell her you were going to see the prostitutes. It was a sneaky visit.

Of course. It was like, oh, I have the money, I'm on the internet. I used to work at a gas station out by the airport in Saint Louis, and there's a lot of ladies of the evening that would be frequent there. So I've never in my life ever known where you go to look for that kind of thing other than just someone asking you on the street

So how long ago was it that you your girlfriend found out about this?

This was like and this is going to make me sound horrible, I'm just saying it. Throwing it out there. It was like directly after Christmas, like right before Christmas, so like Christmas we didn't go to yeah, twenty twenty two.

Yeah, And when she found out when you now the way you phrased it, where you were like, she's still around because she cares about you. Does that you guys are not still too dating, are you? But you are in each other?

We we were for a while there and you know, uh there she told me when we kind of got back together that it's going to be hard for her. She's gonna have nights where it's going to be something all she can think about. It's going to be nights where she's going to be able to brush it off. But it just kept feeling like, and this isn't something I guess you could say maybe part of me would get annoyed with it, but not annoyed, but just like

How long were you guys together?

For less than a year? So that's something that I try to remind myself. I guess whenever I get down about it. But it was definitely less than a year, like months, not like even close to a year. It's coming up on a year if we were still together.

So are you? Are you still going out? And how are you now with the drugs and the prostitutes as of today?

I'm not gonna lie. When I get into bad headspaces, I do kind of self indulge. I definitely like there was a point in my life where I would go out of my way to eat like fake xanax, you know what I mean? Nowadays, I know why I probably drink a little bit more than I ever have never been a drinker. I don't really I'm not the kind of person to go looking for drugs because you can't

Yeah, like the the impulsiveness.

Like so old you are, Yeah, I'm twenty six, just turn twenty six.

Okay, we're around the same age. Has the impulsiveness been a thing in your life for a while?

My whole life, my whole life, and even to like when I say like my whole life, I mean like small things like this is going to sound spoiled, rotten, little shit of me, but like my I was an only child growing up, so like, you know, if I wanted this, I wanted that I would throw a temper tantrum to my mom gave me a list of chores so I can get what I wanted. If like, I'm

Let's talk real quick. So this whole thing happening with your girlfriends and it's it's okay if if not, like, did did it catalyze any desire or like actions towards any change for you?

Any change?

What like? Did it did it catalyze a stronger desire for you to like change your behavior work on your impulsiveness?

Yes. At first, when she called me the first time she found out. The first time, I definitely was feeling bad about it. I'm like, oh, I need to stop being like this. But after the second time, there was an large amount of guilt that I felt. Even after I'm leaving the place that had happened, I'm like thinking to myself, like, this is bad, this is gross. That wasn't worth the money I just spent on it. The

Okay, so today, let me let me ask you this the road ahead for you? Like, what do you what do you desire? Like you're unhappy with who you are right now? What would a better version of you look like for you?

I think? And this sounds and I hate saying that money is a make or break whether or not I'm happy, But like the way I spend money in my impulsiveness doesn't ever feel right in the moment. I love smoking lead and smoking weeds since I was too young to be smoking weed, and I'm at the point to where I'm like, oh, I don't have weeds, and I'm not going to be feeling good. I want myself to be in a place where it's not that I necessarily, you know,

Have you?

Have you?

I'm down to talk to you more about this. But is this something you've talked to about a real Uh? Is this something you've talked to a real therapist about?

Yes? Yes, I'm getting into it.

I what did they tell you?

Go on?

They're the The gentleman I'm speaking with is very old school to the book, and he's just like, oh, you alienate yourself from your girlfriend and leave leave that beat, because that's the past. You can't go past from that. But he's also very like, oh, you need to go to bed on time. You need to try to set more healthier schedules and routines for yourself, and you know,

Let me let me let me a few things.

One.

I laughed when you said that your therapist was by the books and was telling you to uh go to sleep on time and do your laundry and stuff. I laughed because, uh, dude, I went to see a therapist, talked to him about a whole bunch of stuff, and he fucking told me the exact same stuff. He was like, I swear to God, the same thing happened to me. Dude. He was like, he was like, you gotta go to sleep. He was like, he was like, are you eating healthy? I was like not at all. He's like, are you exciting?

As much as I can. I've been doing my laundry. My room has probably been the cleanest beIN it's been since I was a child. I go to work every day. I don't be calling off anymore. I don't go to work every morning with uh all this is gonna fucking suck. I go to work with at least you're getting your job done. I The sleep thing has actually been kind of bad. I've been having a little bit of trouble

I want to say. I want to say a few a few more things too. First of all, I think, and I'm a hypocrite for telling you to do this because I you haven't done it, but you should listen to your therapist, and like, don't I wouldn't rebuff. Don't rebuff what he's telling you. I'm speaking to myself. Don't rebuff what he's telling you until you've actually done it, because chances are it will make you feel a lot better.

Man.

You you you don't. You have several more decades of life ahead of you, and I hope you realize that. I hope you think about it every day. You have several more decades of life ahead of you in which to work on being the kind of person you want to be. And even though it feels good to just beat the ship out of yourself, you're not gonna get

You literally talked to somebody who does this before, and you hated the phone call. It's I killed bugs for a living, but I promised I don't care about the environment as hard as he does.

I don't. I don't. I didn't hate him because he cared about the environment. I hated him, I think because I was trying.

To you know what I mean?

He was, Okay, do you what do you outside? What do you want to do with your life?

Man?

Like? What? What?

What?

Excitement?

Fly that? When I when I was younger, I wanted to and it sounds so, you know, postmillennial of me, but I wanted to make a clothing rand when I was younger. I also when I was in high school, I wanted to do computers. But right out of high that was like I decided I was like the main thing I wanted to do, and right out of high school I got all these certifications, but then I fucked

I bet you do.

But but I can't sit here and like do anything with that. I don't know like what I really want. And I think that's hard all on its own. And I promise you bringing up on this call, it's not something that I kill myself over in my head every day. But I definitely like, I feel like I am not lost, but you know what I mean, just kind of confused.

Yeah, what's your name again?

Hold on?

It says it right here? Actually pork Okay, pork, pork, pork.

Mm hmm. I know I'm a I'm a hard one.

No no, no, no, no, no no, no, no no. I'm happy to be talking about this this right now.

Mm hmm.

I would first of all, keep seeing the real therapist. Don't if it's okay, it's good to analyze the past and learn from it, but don't throw it in, don't weaponize it against yourself on a daily basis.

And I think that that that's important. I think out of And I know you're probably about to say something else, but like I hear that obviously from a lot of people, and I know it sounds very sand Boy of me, but Lyle I listen to every day at work while I kill bugs, and it means a lot to hear that from you.

Thank you. I just you should know that I feel it's like I'm right there killing the bugs with you, and that makes me feel good. I had a ton of ants infest my car recently. I deserved that.

I left. Leave a plate of borax, sugar and water on the floor of your cars.

Leave it there over the place.

I know it sounds like the bug to get there at the place with yeah pork.

You know, here's the thing I'm I don't I don't think in the next two minutes, I'm going to uh completely rewire your brain to be more optimistic about your life. But that's what I hope for you.

Okay, So I'm gonna I'm gonna go into the next week just with a smile on my face, and I'm going to try my hardest not to beat on myself because of this conversation.

Okay, okay, good trying not to be again, trying it to beat it on yourself. Try to think about h you know, I don't know. You said you want to start a clothing company. You can do somebody this is We're gonna go in circles here. But I just want to know you could do so many things. Try to do some ship that's not you know, get into another relationship that that is beneficial of course to you, and try not to, you know, throw yourself out when you're still in in in what I believe to be your infancy.

Okay, I got you. I appreciate you, Lyle.

All right. Also, are you you're wearing a condom when you're having sex with these prostitutes?

Right? Yes? Whatever said one hundred? In fact, when I did, and I would buy a box and I would always leave it there for whoever else came, because I don't want no one to have no CDs.

Very gracious of you, the yes, all right, poor see other people of the computer before we go.

I just want to tell the people of the computer to buy your merch and don't take for granted what you have. And you know, just I haven't read the chat once since we've been on the phone. But please don't be too mean to eat other people on the phone.

Uh you know what, pork Uh save save the money you would spend on a T shirt and continue to go see your real therapist.

I got your back. While you have a good night, all right, man.

You too, take care you know, I'm trying to think about what I think about that whole thing. I don't know. I'm always I'm trying to be fucking optimistic the whole here's the thing for that, for that girl's sake, the girl that he was seeing. And I belive and I by the way, I believe him when he said that that girl still has feelings for him, because relationships are

I don't.

I don't have answers for a lot of these things, right because you're born, and then you can there's colors and sounds, and then you die, and your gift as a human being is that well, some of some of us are lucky enough to have the agency in life to decide what we're going to do, and that can be a tough decision to navigate. I don't have the answers for it, but you know Pokemon cards isn't a bad one.

Hello.

Hello, Oh you're doing a bit? No, yeah you are.

I'm not doing a bit, sir.

I just want to talk to you about my business. I want to see if you think it's a good idea. All right, here's a business has told me that she and human should be able to be able to be brand together.

I want to have a human and sheep.

All right, So right now he's talking to himself. I put him back in the queue. Let's see if he's still. Let's see if hit the talk button again. Hello, brother, I haven't left.

I need to talk about this business with you, all right, human.

And you're going to do shut up for two seconds? Shut up for two seconds? Can I talk to you? Let me talk?

I'm waiting, brother, all right.

You literally you have two options, because you're doing a thing and we could talk. Your options that we could talk with you not doing a bit, or we just won't talk. Which would you rather do?

I would rather talk to you about my business of having human.

And cheap hybrids. All right, now, Elon Musk.

Is investing in this business.

Yes, Elon musk.

We will invest in this business.

Brother, I'm telling you right now, all right now. We've got women, we've got men, we've got transgender, We've.

Got everything up and down the board. But what we don't have yet is an animal and human hybrids. Now, think about how much we would save on food if we have people just eating.

Weat and hay and b.

I don't care about this anymore. Let's move on. That was a good voice. He could use that voice for something better than that. Hello, folks, it is Lyle. I just returned back from going all over Europe to do live shows. And while I was there, I recorded several interviews all around every bunch of different countries on the street with people and I said words to those people

Yeah.

What's your name?

Spike? Spike?

Nice to meet you. Are you a skateboarder? You look like a skateboarder.

Yeah, I am.

Okay, did you tell what can you do? Can you do a tray flip?

No?

Can you do a kickflip?

I kind of suck, to be honest.

You kind of suck. Yeah, okay. How long you've been skating for?

Like seriously for like three years?

Three years?

Yeah?

Okay? Nice? What is your dream in life to be a professional skateboard person?

No, I'd like to be like a tattoo artist, a tattoo artist.

Yeah, okay, what inspires your tattoo tattooery?

I don't know if you know like this artist. I think she's from Denmark or Germany. She's called what's her name? Damn? She has like some really cool drawings.

Your friend looks so high right now?

He is kind of high.

He was very high, okay, cool? Well like Portugal, Yeah yeah, but I mean look this is we're here in California where it's legal, so that's all good.

Oh yeah, California.

All right? So, uh what what kinds of stuff have you been? Wait? What's the name of the artists?

Bowser? Yes, I remember, Okay, I know.

Bowser, but I know a different kind of Bowser from you. Probably I'm talking about the turtle guy.

Uh not not him, the turtle, but he's also pretty cool.

Is he?

Your cousin?

Is Bowser my cousin? That's a going because we both look like both green curtles both like. I wish Bowser as my cousin. Man, he could get me a he could get me in for free to his the Super Mario World and Nintendo, but instead I got a you know, talk to people. I gotta talk to people Lisbon at all times. I wish I was at the Super Mario World Universal but instead of in stupid Lisbon talking to people about life. That's a good photo. What do you

Well, it depends on the day, but I think usually just getting home and smoking.

You think about just getting home and smoking. Okay.

Life in Portugal is pretty tiring.

Hello, what's up?

Yo? What's up?

What's up?

Yo?

How you doing? I'm going, I'm gonna. What's your name? Yo?

My name is Soda.

What do you do? You live here in Portugal? Yes? Oh? Ship? What what are you doing here? Music?

Man?

While I'm trying nice, I'm talking to people about their hopes and dreams.

Yeah, oh you guys know, Yeah, she's my classmate.

Oh cool? Yeah, oh okay, cool. We're here. We're here talking to people in the streets about life. It is pretty sick. It is kind of Spike was saying about what they What do you talk about? What do you think about all day? Getting home, getting home and smoking? Do you have any aspirations outside of that though? Do you have like stuff you like? Well, you want to be a tattoo artist, you said, I like to write? And what do you what are you right about? What do you usually.

Melancholic sad boy stuff?

Melancholic sad boy stuff. What's making you sad?

Though?

I don't know. You don't have to talk about if you don't want to, But I don't know. It seems I mean, you have you have all these friends you got, you know, you you know how to do a kick flip. That's pretty great you have. I mean, like, I don't know you that, I don't you at all, But just from like the two seconds I've been talking to your life seems like I mean just I know, obviously things are different from how they appear, but you seem like you're you're living well.

Sometimes depends on the day, honestly, how do you know this?

Do you want to talk? Okay? Say Hi, what's up? What's what's what's here? I have a kneel down. I've been talked about to you guys. This is cool friendship. What what's what's your name?

I'm said?

You said, you said you.

Almost there? Almost there?

Yeah, okay cool? What's what should I know about Portugal being here?

Uh?

I don't know. Portugal is not a country for Portuguese people.

There is a lot of stranger people and it's difficult to us to find Portuguese people.

Yeah, I've been none of the people I've talked to you so far have been. I've been Portuguese, have all been? Uh uh from all over the place?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

What's what's your dream in life?

Being an artist?

Music artist, being an anarchist? Music music anarchist, because I talked to everybody here wants to be an anarchist. Let's say music? What kind of music?

I sing? And I produce and play a bit guitar?

Do you wrap it all? Hm?

Do you do you rap?

It's like irm b I I changed myself before and rapping and singing.

Okay, what do you do? You want to spit anything for us? Do you want to sing anything for us? Right now?

I have a song of mine, but I don't spike. I can show you after the the interview because I have it. I'm playing a video clip panting like that.

Okay, cool. What's your what's you?

What do you?

What do you think about all day?

Uh?

What I think about all day?

What do you think about all day?

I think a bit of everything, but always about music and producing and playing guitar and writing.

What inspires your music?

My lifestyle inspribes me a lot because we are in a music course and producing a music course in school right here in Epy and a lot of already seen people and my family are always connected with music. And one day when I was said, I listened to music of a rapper here in Portugal and his name is Halloween, Alan, Halloween you have for me is the greatest of all

Oh so you want so so this Halloween guy, he inspired you, he made you cry, he made you feel emotional, and you you liked the way that his music made you feel, and you're like, I want to do that for other people. I want music that makes people cry. Okay, I gotta check what do you have a SoundCloud or something.

I didn't put my song on the roads already because I'm doing I was playing. I'm doing a project. It's like me and my cousin we sing.

We have.

A couple of songs but we didn't release. But the people are liking, are really liking. I already posted on Instagram and preview of the song, and.

After the the interview, I can show you if you want.

Okay, well, hmm, I'm trying to think. One of the questions, do you guys have a lot of friends here in Portugal?

I think.

It's like people here in Portugal are always bad in a bad mood.

Really, is that true?

Yeah?

Why why are people always in a bad mood?

We are just I think most people are overworked, at least the Portuguese.

People overworked, so we're really grumpy. And do you guys feel overworked?

Oh yeah, of course yeah. And we don't even like have a proper job yet, we just go to school.

Okay, huh what how do how do people? I guess huh, I, well, I guess that's why everyone. The one interesting thing about Portugal is everybody's always drinking on the streets.

Like in the US, it's legal.

There's no there's people. People See that guy right there, he's drinking a beer, he's having a good time. Yeah, you can go it's a cider. No it's not, but maybe it isn't. Oh okay, okay, Well see in America, if you drink on the streets, they'll tase you. But here everyone's you know, that's not true. You guys made you guys, You guys see even the face that you guys made when I said that was like, oh, is that really a thing that happens, And no, it's not. I mean, I mean, actually maybe it is.

I don't know.

It depends on the state, depends on the stage.

I think that's how I think people think that in America just everyone's if you jaywalk, you get taste to death, which I don't know. That probably happens in some places, but man, but yeah, I don't know. I guess that's why, you know, people are trying to blow off steam. They're they're hanging out, they're living their lives there. Yeah, that's stuff.

Also why we drink so much. We are so overworked, and I.

Think it's kind of part of the cuture of our culture.

Every time you can see a Portuguese old guy, old old man Portuguese like have the that mustache and always with tiberia and a cigarette or drinking coffee.

Yeah, every time, it's like the I know people in the US talk about it like the European lifestyle. Yeah, it really is like cigarettes and coffee.

Have you guys been to the US.

To the US never, but I have a lot of friends from there.

Do you what's your opinion of the US, Like do you have any like what's your perception of what it's like over there?

Well, mind you, we are like since we are like literally in another continent, we are very fed by the media. So mainly, I'll be honest, the division Europe has of the US is that you guys are very fucking dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like with geography or like maths. You guys, You guys suck.

I don't know where I can't even point my own I don't even know where California is on a map. No, that's true, and that's not true. I do, I do, but I don't know. I actually, you know what I thought the other day, I was like, if I saw a blank and I've been to almost every state, but if I had to draw a map of America and with all the states and ship I couldn't do it. But could you guys do that?

I've taken like quizzes online of like getting the states right, but it depends on the state. There's some I know like just by looking at them, but there's others because you guys shape the fucking states so.

Weirdly, Hey, I didn't do anything right, I don't. That was Joe Biden made the States. But uh, okay, so that we don't know geography, yeah, and that anything else.

And that your political views are also like kind of messed up.

I mean, yeah, there's some of that for sure, but in there aren't In there, aren't there messed up political views everywhere?

Yes, but in a sense that imagine like here in Portugal we also have like far right people just like you do in the US. But the differences in the US, you guys are so like the liberty rights, like you don't don't treat on me. Yeah, exactly, this the snake.

That guy's my cousin act, he's a fellow reptile.

The problem is that you're so like about your own freedom, you start stepping over other people's freedom, you know. Yeah, sure, so it gets kind of clumpy and messy.

Yeah, well I noticed, I've noticed that. I think, you know, I've been around Europe like doing these interviews and stuff, and I think, uh, we definitely need a new PR person for the US. It's not hot for you, it's hot for me. Oh yeah. Oh well, actually this night we got a nice little bit of shade going out here. But before that, no, I wanted to die. What are you guys' names again, Spike, it's been nice talking to you.

Guys.

Man, I think you achieve your dreams. I hope you become a tattoo artist, and I hope you, uh you know, are able to inspire people with your your music. I'm glad youse. Guys seem like good friends. It seems like you and I know that you're making emo sad boy music. And here's what I Here's what I hope for you.

That's what I think about every time I wake up.

Is there anything else you guys want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

I only have one question for you. Where are the other ninety nine gigs? If you can answer that, that's okay.

What if I can't.

If you can, I'm interested, Yeah, I'm pretty open to it.

Where are the other nine to nine gags? Yeah? Uh in my ass? Yo. Thank you guys for talking to a geck. God bless you see guys around the universe, crazy, crazy time, crazy World. Shout out, Shout out one hundred gags, Shout out Portugal, shout out the universe. Yeah, praise uh, Praise the Lord and save for Jesus Christ. I gotta get better with my post call thoughts because I didn't really have any just now. But I'll see if anyone else wants to talk.

Week goes on.

The line taking your phone calls every night every week, and goes to his life's teaching you.

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