Hello, Yeah, hello, Hello. What's your name?
Rudy? Not nice to talk to you? How are you?
Rudy Rulige, Rudy Giuliani? When did he fuck up your name a little bit? Because for something, when you say Rudy, I think Rudy Giuliani, and I think the fucking reindeer, Rudolph with the nose. I can't think of any other Rudy or maybe or wait, there's a fucking kid named there's not a real kid, like a cartoon child named Rudy. Do you know who I'm talking about?
I don't. But the one I usually get a lot is like from the Rudy movie. Like when I was younger, I would tell people, like, Rudy's my nickname. I like, I go buy it a lot because it's different people to to pronounce than my actual name. But I would get it. I would get like the movie reference, like the Rudy Football movie. Have you ever seen that one.
The Rudy Football movie. You know what is that?
It's like it's like a really old school movie, but it's that that's the name of the movie is It's Rudy. It was like really popular, like in the early two thousands, I believe so that's the name, Like, that's the reference. I got a lot from like older people. They're like, oh, Rudy, like from the movie, and I'd be like, yeah, sure, even though I never really watched.
Fucking it just came to me. Rudy is the name of the main character from Chalk Zone.
Choc Zone. Believe it or not, I haven't. I've never seen that show.
How old are you?
Thirty?
Okay, you're in choc Zone territory? Did you used to watch Nickelodeon?
I did, But it'sick to a lot of like SpongeBob, SpongeBob and like Jimmy Neutron.
Yeah, he was this guy he would use chalk to create You know what's funny chalk Zone. You know what's funny is there's all these old like I'm about to say so things so stupid, but I'm just gonna say it and see how it sounds. But there's all these like old shows about children creating characters and then talking to them. Like this guy Rudy from Chalk Zone. He basically enters this world made of chalk, and he created he creates a little guy, a little blue guy, and
he make and he talks to it. Do you think that's like how kids are making like chatbots that are like little monsters that they can talk to with AI. Is that similar?
Uh? I would say, yeah, so it's something a little similar. I do vaguely remember the show, but I would say I would say so.
I would say so, yeah, I mean the both signs of like schizophrenia in a way.
Yeah, you know, I was thinking of the same thing, like it probably contributes more to schizophrenia than it does to like the aichatpots.
But you know, yeah, so yeah, I think it's best to I think it's best to talk to real people, I guess, or like having an imaginary friend, you should have a real imaginary friend.
Yeah. Yeah, But then you know, kids get a little little too ahead of themselves. You know, we'll draw like the little pictures, and then you know it leads to parents to get concerned, and that's how horror movies start. You know.
You texted me and said, I live in America. My girlfriend wants me to move to Japan to be with her, but I feel like it's a huge risk to give up everything and go. I would like some outside advice from the wise Gecko man, please sir okay okay, is your girlfriend Japanese or she just wants to move to Japan.
No, she is one hundred percent Japanese. She was born there. She's half Japanese and have Spanish, and she wants me to go over there. Obviously, Like I've already mentioned my age, I'm thirty years old, she's thirty two. She's going to turn thirty three in July. And so I basically already have my life settled here in America. I got a good job, it's Union, so I make pretty decent money, pension insurance. I bought a house back in twenty seventeen,
so like my payments are pretty well. But I've tried convincing her to come live in America with me, but she doesn't really want to kind of give up her lifestyle, and she kind of wants me to go over there. So I'm kind of like conflicted a little bit.
You know, It's funny, there's there's actually a lot of there's a lot of like key differences, but something kind of exactly similar. I won't go into too much detail detail about it, but like something kind of exactly similar actually also happened to me where I thought I almost moved to Japan for similarly reasons. Japan is awesome. Japan is like a great fucking time. Have you been? I assume you've been.
I have. I went there for the first time ever last year to visit her. I was there for two weeks, and then this past January I was actually staying with her for three months, so I got a good little taste of it, which was which was nice, different way of life. Obviously, I wasn't really working while I was there. It was more like kind of studying a little bit, but very different, very different from America, but a little difficult to talk to people because I'm not fluent in
the language. I could barely speak it. So yeah, very very different. But I loved it. It was it was absolutely amazing. It was beautiful.
I mean it's great. Yeah. I've spent like four months there, not like concurrently, but like over the course of like a few years, and it's it's fucking sweet. The biggest problem with it, and one of the big reasons I decided to not move there, is because like, like you're
totally not supposed to be there. That was my feeling is like it's a you know, it's not like a like like one the one of the cool things, like one of the cool things about America is that, like you know, we have like diversity, Like there's no like every like you walk around in like a major American city, you see every ethnicity of person. But like you know, Tokyo, it's it's a mono culture. And like if you're not like a Japanese person, you do really feel it.
Yeah, that's one thing that I like you said, you really do feel it. When I was there, Like obviously, like I said, she's half uh Spanish, so she's not like she doesn't fully look like a Japanese person. You could tell like she's next with something. But even when we would go to like restaurants and stuff, like they would try talking to us in English because they would see that I was a foreigner and obviously she's not.
She doesn't look like fully Japanese and she would have to like talk to them like oh, like Japanese is okay basically, and they would like profusely like apologize like oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, you know, but definitely, yeah, like here in America, it's very different, Like nobody really bats an eye at you know, a foreign person, so to speak. And then over there obviously you know you do stick out like a sort thumb.
Yeah, it's uh, I mean it's also it's tough. It's a tough place to be in without speaking the language. Where are you based currently that you don't want to move out of?
I'm currently based in Illinois. Yeah.
Where are in Illinois?
Towards like the suburbs, towards like the Naperville Plainfield and like that area out there. I actually was considering going to your show, Okay, yeah, in a couple of months. I think it's like in August, right or something like that.
Uh, I've had too. I've got one in Bloomington. I have actually no fucking idea where that is, and then one in Chicago.
Oh okay, yeah, I was considering. I was considering going, but I don't really have anybody to to go with. So yeah, I'm gonna find somebody. Yeah, it's I'll think about it. I'll think about it.
But anyway, anyway, anyway, I'm so she and she wantsn't moved to Tokyo or like some random ass Japanese town in like rural place.
So she lives in Shibuya, Tokyo, Like she's probably like a fifteen minute walk away from Shibuya crossing a. Yeah, she's got like a really nice studio apartment. She works really hard. She's like a she's a Japanese language teacher, so she'll teach like English speaking students like Japanese, and she'll also teach like Japanese people like English. You know, so she's got she's got a pretty good setup. She works really hard. She works every single day, you know,
doing like administrative work along with her teaching jobs. So she's definitely done pretty well for herself.
So how did you meet this girl?
So my job allows me. It's kind of like it's kind of like seasonal ish, like I have the option to kind of take the enter off. So I never really traveled outside of America, and I was going to do a solo trip and I was kind of looking at different countries. That was a really big you know anime. Wee not like super big, but you know, I liked anime. So I figured Japan is pretty safe, It's got very convenient train systems and relatively cheap compared to America and
a completely different culture. So I was planning to take the winter off between January to April and go and stay in Japan. And I tried learning the language, so I bought a couples like study books, but I wasn't really too good at like at you know, studying by myself. So I went on Google. I looked up Japanese you know, tutors,
and it directed me to a prepay like a website. Yeah, And basically, like I searched through a whole bunch of different teachers and I ended up finding her, and you know, we kind of got to talking a little bit and then things just kind of went from there. And that's just kind of how we met. I she like we kind of went half and half on the plane ticket, but she ended up coming over here back in July.
That was like the first time we met. And then she came over here again in like October, and then I went over there in November, and then I went over there again in January, okay, and I'm planning to go over there again in September.
Okay. So it's been a so you guys are in a committed relationship, yeah, yeah, okay, And so it's been a back and forth thing over the course of how long.
It's been about it's been about soll June right now, it's been about a little over a years since we first met, a little like about eleven months since we started dating. We have had like our issue choose every every here and there because obviously like cultural differences and a little bit of a language barrier. But for the most part, like you know, we try our best to work things out.
What have what have been the issues that you guys have had to work out?
Uh and uh okay. So basically, like she she's a freelance worker, so she likes to like and obviously their culture is a little bit different. So when it comes to going out and like meeting different people, like staying out late and drinking and all those other things, like
she does it pretty consistently. She's very She connects a lot with like a lot of CEOs that are you know, business owners and things like that, and she teaches them English, and obviously like in return, they'll like like they'll go out to like nice places to eat or you know, they'll go golfing things like that. Sometimes she'll also travel to like other countries and she kind of works as
like a translator of sorts, you know. But in order to kind of maintain these relationships, Like you know, she'll occasionally have to go like for with drinks for them, or like for dinners and things like that. So I'm a little.
Sense am I sensing? Am I sensing? Like, Oh, you're a little fraid she'll cheat.
On you a little bit. And it's just very uncomfortable, you know, because obviously they have like a hierarchy over there. So like when she goes out, like she has to pay attention to these people, right, she has to like connect with them and you know, full undivided attention type things. Okay, so she doesn't really have time to like be on her phone because it would be seen as rude and
you're not, you know, not fully attentive. And then like also once she'll go out to drink and there's like a big group of them, they can't start leaving until like the guy with like the highest hierarchy decides it's like time to go. Yeah, you know. Yeah, So it's it's a little bit in part of the cheating thing,
but I've kind of like moved past it. I go to an actual therapist and we try to like talk things through, and like he kind of gives me some tips, and you know, I've gotten definitely a lot better, but it still makes me a little bit uncomfortable. So yeah, those are kind of the issues that that we kind of run into.
Mmmm okay, okay, interesting has she has? What kind of issues has she had with you?
Basically the that I would I would ask her like, hey, like, if you're going out, like I would just kind of like to know an idea of like it's when you're coming home, Because there was a few times, like when I was over there for three months, she would tell me like, oh, yeah, I'd probably be home like around
one or two o'clock. So I'd stay up waiting for her, and then it'd be like three o'clock and she still wouldn't be home, and I'm just kind of like like, hey, like, if we're going to be living together, like, it's kind of something that i'd like to know.
Like.
So, she's very independent and and when I ask her like just for like details and stuff like that, she kind of takes it as controlling. I try not to be, you know, but that's kind of how she she's takes it a little bit. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean it sounds like you already worked through these issues and stuff, and it's just like a retrospective thing. But you know, my feelings about that stuff is like I don't know my feelings about that stuff, and maybe this is this is how I feel about it. Is like when you're in a relationship or something like that, I feel like you just kind of like know in your gut if the person you're dating really likes you
or not, you know what I mean. And I kind of feel like if you know in your gut that the person you're dating really loves you, like you can say that for sure, then you're then then you're fine. Then you know, let him fucking do whatever, you know, not letting not like not I don't mean let him fucking do whatever. But I mean, like if you know, if you know that they love you, you know that they love you, you know.
Yeah, And like I don't doubt that she loves me, and I don't doubt my love towards her. It's just it comes down to to me just kind of like learning and accepting this different lifestyle because I'm not used to things like that. Like I work a normal blue collar job, you know, where I clock in, clock out, go home. That's it. Yeah, A little boring to some people,
but she she loves to go out. She loves to socialize with people, she loves to meet new people, and she recently, I'll go out, I'll meet different people, but I'm more of like introverted. She likes the more philosophical aspect to people, like, oh, what made you you know, what made you interested in your job? Like you know, what do you do for a living? Like what was it like growing up? And you know, things like that.
And for me, it's just kind of like, you know, I'll meet people here and there, but it is what it is. You know. I don't go out necessarily seeking it, but if it happens, it happens. You know.
It's funny. I've been like thinking about this to myself a lot lately, is like I think I think I'm just talking about like I used to think I wanted to date someone who was like similar to me, and that because your girl, the way your way your girlfriend is, you know, it feels like it's like kind of similar
to me. And I'm like I used to think I want I want to date someone who's like like that, but now I'm kind of thing like, oh, I think that, and I'm curious what your perspective is on the other end of this, because now I'm kind of like, oh, I think I weirdly might enjoy being with someone who is less like that just because I get so like then, because then there just becomes like two of me, you know, just in terms of like dating somebody who's like has
the same ish personality as you, do you feel like do you feel like that's a good thing, like like for you, Like do you feel like you like having somebody who has like a kind of like complimentary personality to yours, or or do you do you prefer people who are more similar to you, like like not like people were also introverted.
I would say that I really liked somebody that compliments you, because like, if it wasn't for her, like when I was over there for three months, we had gone to Indonesia together, and like, if it wasn't for her, I would have never gone probably not yet obviously, I was still trying to travel by myself and Japan was like my first destination, but like she kind of pushed forward and we did that together, and then I kind of actually, when I was listening to your show a couple of
years ago, you had to call her call in that she had gone to a sensory deprivation thing, and when she had came here to America, I had taken her to one of those, so like a more of a peaceful, calm meditation thing. So I think that like finding somebody that compliments you, it's something I really like. So it's just taking a little bit of time kind of to adjust to it. And obviously I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. So it's very very difficult, and I mean,
oh sorry, go ahead, Okay. When I was over there, she had introduced me to one of her students. He was a young, really successful business owner, and he had
taken me to a really nice steakhouse. He had taken me to like a hostess bar where he had met his girlfriend, and he essentially paid for everything, and like, even though we couldn't really speak, we were kind of like it was like a lot of gestures and stuff like when we were going out to different bars, when we were going out to dinner and stuff like that,
because it was me, him and his girlfriend. Like it was really nice, you know, meeting different people and experiencing like a different thing than what I'm used to so I could definitely like get used to that that kind of life. But like I said before, I don't necessarily really seek it out either. Like, if that happens, it happens.
So let's talk about this. You what you okay, you live in the suburbs of Illinois. Yes, And what's going on in the suburbs of Illinois that you do not want to leave?
Man, It's just I'm very I'm very well set, so to speak. I mean, like I said, I bought a house back in twenty seventeen. So my mortgage is I only owe like one hundred and fifteen thousand, and I've already paid off like ten years worth of it. So that means like my mortgage payment, I have like a four percent interest rate and I only pay about twelve hundred dollars a month. You know, like that's essentially unheard of for a four bedroom, two and a half bathroom.
It's a townhouse, you know, with a too.
Why do you know? Well, okay, well pause for a second. Wait several several questions, several questions, Yeah, go ahead, Okay, you're not married and you don't have kids. Why do you need a four bedroom house?
Well, back when I was twenty years old. My mom had essentially got in a settlement because she ended up getting herd at work. And at the time we were, we weren't in the best situation where she was. We were living in like it was me, her and my brother. We were living in a two bedroom apartments. And when she got the settlement money, I had a pretty decent job, I had a good credit score, So she ended up
like gifting me the money and we bought a townhouse. Now, if she were to come over here, obviously I saw the townhouse. We'd have extra money and then we can get a place of our own, and then my mom, you know, my brother can kind of go live with my sisters or something. But like, right now, I got
a pretty decent house. Like I got a really good paying job, really good insurance, and it's I would love to leave, but like I would like to stay here for like a couple more years, but she's not really willing to come to America for for a long time.
Your girlfriend sounds like the kind of you know, it's funny, Yeah, your girlfriend sounds like the kind of person who would kill herself if she had to live in the suburbs of Illinois and then you sound like the kind of person that does not just up and move to Japan on a whim.
Yeah, so that's kind of where we're Yeah, that's that's kind of the easty man.
I mean, what's this?
What's this?
What's this job?
I don't want to get too too personal.
But I don't have to get the person. But what's I mean, what like, what is it just like some office thing?
No, no, no, it's I guess I can kind of mention it without giving up the whole name. It's a it's a garbage company. It's and like I said, it's not too far from my house, so it's very convenient. And like I said, it pays pretty well. I work. I do work a lot of overtime. But like I said, one of the benefits of it is that I'm able to travel. I'm able to take the winter off and I can travel for three months every winter, you know. So that's how I had stayed over there.
Okay, And as an in person gig.
It is in person I drive a like class B CDL truck.
Also, what's the plan if you moved to Japan?
Right? Like?
What can you even get a job? Like you know, like a visa, like have you looked into like, because there's a ton of shit you have to do.
Yeah. So there's a few pathways that her and I have kind of considered. A first off, the first of all was marriage, but because of the issues that we had, we kind of decided to postpone for a little bit. So the second pathway was essentially me applying for a language school. It's gonna cost around like ten thousand dollars for the year, and but once that language school is done, we would either have to decide whether to get married
or I would have to come back to America. I am currently like trying to study to get a software engineering degree, so I could potentially find a like remote job and then obviously go to the language school, so I can kind of work as a software engineer, as you know, for a Japanese based company, or.
I mean for a Japanese based either you say for a US company, because that would be like a I mean that's like the cheat code for doing shit.
Well well yeah, but like like yeah, get paid in an American currency, but like having the skill to be able to use like the Japanese language and like English language as well. So Okay, that's kind of like the secondary planned.
Okay, okay, but I'm no, I'm glad we talked about it. But this doesn't sound like a logistical thing. This is like this is more of an emotional thing. This is more of like a guttural thing. Do you want to have kids with this woman? Do you want to like build a whole life together? Is that the plan?
Ah?
See, I would love to. I would love to. I I love her. I definitely want to marry her. But the lifestyle thing, I don't know if she's willing to like slow her life down right now and kind of settle in, you know, so I kind of have to wait for her in a sense.
Oh but that but I mean, yeah, but you're fucking thirty. You know, she's what thirty.
Three Actu's gonna be thirty three this year. Okay, I'm taking you know what I mean, Like it's we're not getting any younger. But at the same time, like I don't want to rush into into kids either, Like.
Dude, that's the tough thing. And this is and dude, dude, I've had I've had this problem. Like this is the hard thing about this, Like overseas stuff is it's like the toughest thing about it is that everything about it just feels like it's a It feels like it's a very all I have no if by the way, because this is like a thing I've like dealt with, Like I don't actually have an answer for you. I can I can merely ponder it. I can merely ponder it
for you with you. The toughest thing about this is like the it's scary because it's like a it's such an all or nothing thing. Like in order for it to like these things, they they they require these really scary like leaps of faith. Right Like if you were just like dating a lady in Illinois, like who lived in this fucking city and you lived in the suburbs and your distance was an hour away, it's like, okay, we can like slowly build our relationship and figure out
these problems and stuff. But when you got you know, a lady in Japan, it's like, if we're doing this, we're fucking doing this, you know, Like uh like, if we're getting married, we're getting married. If we're you know, if I'm moving a move like it like in order, it's it's hard to have like a relationship like this where it requires big leaps of faith and big moves to do it. But I will I will say that, and and I and I I empathize with you on that.
It's really like kind of tough and scary. I will say this though, if you believe in your gut a that you actually no, if you believe in your gut A that you love this woman, I mean, that's easy. You know, love, love is love is love is kind of the easiest equation of a relationship. I think, you know, because love is love love love love doesn't really take anything. You can love like you can love someone you don't have to be in the same room with them. Like
love is easy. You know. Commitment is difficult, Uh, logistics are difficult. Maintaining relationship is difficult. But the question is, Okay, do you love her? You know? A, I mean that's the easy one. And then b do you feel in your gut that like she's your partner, Like she's the one you want to do this with? You know, if you feel in your gut you're like, she's fucking like when you look, like when you think about her, are you like she's fucking awesome? She's so great. I would.
I want her to be the mother of my children. I think she's an amazing person. I think she's so cool. I think she's like I respect her so much, I admire her so much. I'm you know, like all that shit, that's the shit you really want to be making sure you're in tune with, Like we're aligned on that stuff. Because for every relationship, you have to decide what you're
willing to put up with or make work. And so you should ask yourself, like what your gut is saying to you and what you can give full body yes? Like like go like, ask yourself several questions and figure out which of these questions am I giving a full body yes? Two? And then which of these questions am I hesitant about? Like you like you asked you literally stuff like the easy one. Do I love her full body?
Yes?
I love her? That's easy. Do I give a full body yes to she'd be a great mom? Do I have a full body yes? Too? We have similar values. Do I give a full body yes to? I deeply admire her? You know, do I give a full body yes to? All of these other things? And then if you can give a full body yes to like most of that stuff. Then everything else you gotta go, Like you know, I mean this, I mean this house. Who gives to be Frank, Who gives a fuck about this house?
You know what I mean? Like it's a fucking house, like you like you can rent it out, you can sell it, like who gives a fuck? Right, Like, that's not the This house is kind of a stupid thing to me because it's it's nothing. It's like a it's a minor money thing that has like very logistical, easy to solve solution if you had deep RELI even the job, I mean job is a little different, but like fucking even the job is like whatever, you can figure out how to find some fucking job. Like do you have
deep relationships? Deep connections? Deep? Like do you fucking are you absolutely, full body, deeply in love with Naperville, Illinois?
You know?
And you might be. You might maybe your parents are there, Maybe I don't. I don't know, you haven't really I don't. But but also the fact that I the fact that, like when when I asked you what's going on in the suburbs of Illinois, you didn't bring up, Oh, my parents are there, and I want to be close with them. Oh, I have such a great friend group in Illinois. I want to be you brought up this like house, It's like, what the fuck is this house? Who gives a fuck
about that? You know a lot of that's just kind of like fear shit. But the question, the questions I would really be asking if I was you, is like, what are you? What are you in like full alignment with in terms of like your relationship with this lady.
You know, well like a full body yes too, Like a lot of things about her, I can I can list many things. One of the things I do have an issue with like she takes a lot of naps.
No you can No, that's you can work through that, dude. She takes a go yeah, yeah, yeah, she takes a lot of naps.
So like sometimes it was really nice when I was over there and I'd be like, hey, like let's go, let's go for a walk or something like let's go walk the dog, and she'd like, oh, I want to take a nap, and she naps for like a couple like three four hours. I was just kind of like, that's kind of our day, which which sucks, but like you said, it's it's whatever. Man.
Oh my God, dude, No, that's a thing. That that's a that's easy. That's so we'd let her, let her take a nap and then go for a walk.
Right right.
Yeah.
No, I caught myself a lot of the times where she was like, oh, like I'm gonna take a nap, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to the gym, you know, something like that, or like i'd take your dog for a walk or something like that, or I'd go for a coffee shop if she wanted to sleep in or you know. So it's like I never really
found like a big issue with that, you know. But when I was like, like, you know, a few times I'd be like, hey, like let's go do this, and she'd be like no, Like I wanted to get to have some like I said, very minor thing. But besides that, like she's she's very kind, she's very intelligent, she's very hard working. She's got such an amazing personality. And like when I had gotten sick when I was over there, I had like really bad like stomach virus like the
whole time, and she was worried about me. She was like trying to help me out, like offering me to get medicine intern Yeah, I in turn I did the same thing. Yeah, so like I'm willing to give everything up for her. It's just like like you said, it's a scary leap of faith because thing.
But again, the like naps, you know what, I like, I'm talking I'm talking about like real I'm talking about like like I'm talking about real I'm talking about real shit, like like like are you real real ship? Real shit is? Like do you both have the same like real ship is? Like? Are you both physically attracted to each other? If that matters to you? If you are you both physically attracted to each other? Do you like hanging out with each other? Do you have similar ish ways of looking at the
world and problems? Do you have similar ish ways that you want to like live a life? Do have similar ish timelines for marriage and family?
You know?
I mean everything else is bullshit like naps. I mean you know whatever, if like like, if the big things align and the things that aren't taking you out of uh uh Naperville, Illinois are like real, which then you know So I'm I'm not I'm not. I'm not here to tell you what to make your decision about. But like if if I were in your shoes and I have been in your shoes like that, those are the things I'd be thinking about.
Yeah, so what is it that you mentioned? So a lot of the times, like I guess one of the things that I did kind of an issue with. Like, so I like to talk through our problems, right, so if there's something that bothers me, I typically try to bring it up, right, and we discussed it and we talk about it. Yeah, but the way she these things, it would be more of like, well, if it's not a big deal, then just kind of let it go,
you know. So that that's something that we've we struggled with a little bit because like I would try to bring something up and she would take it as an argument and I'd be like like, I'm just trying to explain what bothered me here, and she was like, well, there's somethings that like you did that bothered me. And she's like, but I didn't bring them up because well.
Yes, you know it's it's not important dude. Yeah, No, this lady is a genius because you got to pick your But I also I really feel like in a relationship, you have to pick your battles. I believe that deeply, you know what I mean. That's that's why I side
with her on that. I believe in a relationship you must pick your battles, like every like, because there's little things that, like everyone's gonna have, like the naps thing, right, Like everyone's gonna have little things that pissed each each other off by each other.
But like.
You should should I think in a relationship, you should strategically pick your battles as to what is a big deal for you, do you know what I mean. That's why I'm on her side with that.
Yeah, And I've definitely gotten a lot better at it. Like, if there's something small that would bother me, like I just kind of like water up a ducks back, I just kind of like let it go. If it's something a little bit bigger, you know, I'll try to bring it up. But besides that, like we've kind of moved past it. There is a little bit of a language barrier obviously when it came to us communicating like those
issues before. But I've kind of learned to simplify my wording a little bit, and you know, it kind of makes things a little bit easier because obviously she knows more English than I know Japanese, so we mainly speak in English, so I kind of have to tone it down a little bit. So when it comes to those things,
I have gotten definitely gotten a lot better. And but like like I said, the only other thing is just like her her lifestyle that she that she lives, which you know, it's like I said, it's it's a little difficult for me, but I'm like, I'm trying my best to kind of be okay with it.
You know, It's an interesting thing when you're dating someone who English is not their native language, is you have this thing of like little nuance, Like you're more likely, I feel like, to be taken at complete face value in everything that you say. Like little nuances are not they don't come across as much, and that depending on who you are and like kind of the situation, there
are pros to that and cons to that. Yeah, you know what I mean, Like, like for example, if you like, like if you're tired and you say I'm tired, it's pretty like you know, if it's not like, oh, if you say I'm tired in like a slightly bitchy way, that that that like that you'll that she'll interpret it as like you're trying to like you mean something, and like it's more likely you'll be taking a face value
and like there's something kind of nice about that. But then the flip side of it is like when you do want to communicate in in these like nuanced ways, it is a a little trickier.
Yeah, it's that. That is something that it took a little bit of adjusting because sometimes she would like say things and the way she would say them would come kind of come off a little harsh, and she was like, oh, like I didn't I didn't mean it like that, but like for me, for us, like the way that she would say it was like very direct, you know, and I was just kind of like taken aback by it. I was, yeah, of course, it's just a little here and there.
Yeah, of course. But you get you kind of get used to that because you you have to. You have to understand that, like, uh, they're not so they're not
trying to do that. That's just like their understanding of that that they just it's just a little nuances are are I I there was this girl I was dating a while ago, and she would like we would text and she would respond to some of my texts and just say like and okay, you know, and do you know what like like if you're like with that, like another American person, like if they just say like sure, it kind of sounds like they're being passive aggressive in a text, right, And like we met, like I tried
to explain this to her, and she felt like bad. She was like, oh, I didn't realize that was like the vibe that I was communic, Like I feel like I like rocked her world with like just the not She was like, oh fuck, how many people have I been like accidentally being passive aggressive too? Just because I didn't know the little the little nuance of like suore you know.
Yeah, and see, like one thing that I do to kind of like help, like we just add like a bunch of little we we use Line, which is like their main messaging app. We use like a lot of the little emojis or whatever they use over there to kind of like soften those nuances so they know, like if so she knows I'm not being like too aggressive and vice versa, you know. So, but yeah, I mean besides that, like the relationship is it's going, you know, it's cool.
Man, And it's cool. It's cool. I mean it's hard. It's hard because yeah, it takes these kinds of things. They they're like they really require like full send leaps of faith to make work. And that's it's hard and scary. Tell you know, I get I get you.
Yeah, Like what are some ways that I would I could use to like cope with the late night outings so to speak, because like in a couple of months, like es actually like she's going, yeah, like she's going to Costa Rica. It's gonna be her and like one other dude, which is like to me, that's uncomfortable, but and like I want to trust it, I really do, and I try my best to have one hundred percent face. It's just this dude.
You you you know, like you a girl doesn't even have to be a girl friend for that, Like you know when a girl likes you, you know what I mean? Like you know you know? Do you know what I mean? Like you've lived life, You've been in crushes, relate, like forget about a relationship, forget about wife, like you just you know when a girl likes you and when she doesn't like you? And if you know that a girl likes you, That's kind of all I think you need to know. And if you know that, that's that's I
just feel like that's all you need to know. I don't know, maybe I have different views about this kind of stuff, but like because I'm not I'm not a preticularly jealous person, I don't think but like.
It.
You know, I don't like it like you. I mean, that's all I have to say, man, is like, don't because you don't want your Because if you love someone and you know that they love you, and you know that they like you, just like kind of I feel
like you should just let that be the thing. And then any other like, oh, is she cheating on me with this like guy that like her work sent her to be with, like by pure nature of the fact that like it's just her and like a guy, Like it's not even like like we don't even know anything about this guy, Like it's just some dude from her work.
Like I think the fact that your auntsy about just the fact that she is going out to Puerto Rico with another guy just because he's a literally just because he's of the opposite sex, is like, you know, it's a lot it puts a lot of pressure on her, and you know, and you wouldn't want and if you were in that position, you wouldn't want her to be feeling like she's you know, not control. Yeah, kind of control. Can I like kind of controlled in some way, shape or form.
Right, But you know it. You know a lot of people have given me advice on my perspective, so it's really it's really helpful that you kind of put it in perspective of her that she said, you're kind of doing this.
Did you have a lot of Did you have like a ton of your guy friends being like she's fucking cheating on you?
No? No, No, it's it was just like for me and my therapist, like we were just trying to understand exactly like because like I said, she's a freelance worker, so a lot of these people that she'll meet, like she has to go out and meet on her own. So we're just trying to understand like the their cultural aspects of it. And then like a lot of it, it just comes down to like what I'm used to
and what I'm not used to. Like I like in my relationships in the past, like I would not go out with another woman for work or for fun, you know, just to go drink and have karaoke with out of respect for my partner, you know, So for her to do something like this, oh.
Yeah, I know, Yeah that makes yeah, yes, yes, yes, that makes sense. Yeah you would not, Yes, that makes I give what you said. Like, yes, in America, like if if you had like a female I totally give you a minute. If you had a female coworker just be like or a female boss, just be like, hey, let's just you and me get uh drinks after work and do karaoke together, and you went, your wife would totally be like what the fuck? And yes, it's different,
but it's a weird. Yeah, it's a weird. There's like a culturally thing there where it's like doing that as like part of working.
Right. So that's the struggle that I've been trying to overcome, is just the cultural aspect of different relationships where she sees it as just these are just my friends and this is like business, where I see it as like, you know, in America, you don't necessarily do that if you come home late from drinking with like a person of the opposite sex and you're home at like three o'clock in the morning. That's you know, grounds for questioning like what the fuck, like why are you coming home
so late? You know. So that's that's the issue that I've been trying to kind of like work through and overcome obviously because I don't I'm not. I try my best, like could not be controlling because she's her own person, she lives her own life. It's just like trying to overcome myself in these thoughts that I have when she's out either on trips or you know, on late nights.
Well, listen, we'll wrap this up in a second, but I'll just say from where I sit, it's kind of as simple as like, if you if you feel really gutturally aligned, and if you feel like if you've feel gutturally aligned with this lady in all of the aspects that are like actually important, not like the fucking naps or the house or whatever. If you feel like gutta really aligned with all the important aspects, you can kind of work through everything else. That's that's kind of how
I feel. What's your name again, man, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy Juliani, Yes, Rudy.
Oh and by the way, I had called your show before. I believe it was three years ago. I called under a different name. It was under Johnny I had I was the guy that was like in that Monica dating sim thing. After our phone call, I kind of I kind of got my my ship together and wait.
You the fucking what You're the fucking guy who was dating who was dating an Ai chat.
BoNT uh uh uh somewhat yeah, like the dokie dokey literal literature club thing.
Oh fucking ship dude, Yeah, yes, I remember that. Oh fucking you have like a real girlfriend now.
Yeah. Yeah. I changed the trajectory of my life after that. Uh, after that phone call, man, Yeah, after that, I kind of like I went to the gym for a little bit. I kind of looked like back at our phone call, and then I started planning a solo trip to like Hawaii. Uh after we talked, because I was like, fuck, man, like what am I doing with my life? I kind of have to start doing something differently. And then because of you, I kind of decided to go on that
trip and then it just kind of went from there. Dude, So thank you.
Holy shit, I'm so I'm so happy. I mean, I am so delighted to be part of your AI girlfriend to real girlfriend pipeline. That brings me so much joy, That brings me.
So much to do it. Oh yeah, man, thank you so much, dude.
Yeah I remember the Yeah there was like twenty twenty two. Yeah, I totally remember that. Okay, Dan, Hell yeah, Okay. This is one of the this is one of those instances where I'm like, this is a great this is a perfect return caller episode here. Okay, cool man, Well, let me know what you end up doing. I'm curious, call me back in, call me back in three years, and let me know if you're if you're living the beautiful, uh,
the beautiful Japan life. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Rudy?
Could I give her a Instagram a shout out? Because like she she's a teacher, so she kind of relies on like students to like book her classes and stuff. I'd kind of like to help her out a little bit if people can kind of go on like her videos. Are you okay with that?
Or well, I mean I'm I mean I'm okay with that, but I'm also like this, like is she cool with like a bunch of random folks, Like, I mean, I guess if she posts videos publicly, then it's fair game. Like is she cool with that?
Yeah, I mean she's been trying to post like on Instagram more so she can try to get new students. So even if she gets one person or something like, I just want to make sure it's okay with you.
If it is, I mean, it's okay if she if she's cool with being like you know what, I guess boxed or whatever.
Then I approach should have asked her. Fuck, I mean, but it is public, you.
Know what, you know what for the let's do for the sake of the fact that we've given out, let's not let's not do it. If it was your Instagram, I'd be like, fine, but because it's hers, let's not do it.
Okay, Okay, sounds fair, sounds fair. In three years and three years, if everything goes well, I'll have a talk with her and then I'll call back and then I'll shout her out.
Then okay, swag. Thank you, Rudy, good luck, man, take.
Care, Thank you so much, you as well. Man. Forever, ready, foreveray, forever.
That was Rudy. Rudy's a nice guy, good, good fella. I hope I hope he figures it out. I don't know. Yeah, a lot of the fuck because that was I don't know. I'm just gonna repeat a bunch of shit I already said. But yeah, whatever, I don't have any post call thoughts. I would just repeat everything I said. Go watch Chalk Zone. Let me what's what year did chalk Zone come out? Who's got the chalk chalk Zone. Rudy's got the chalk. Rudy's got the chalk chalk. So dude, his name is
Rudy Tabooty. That's the name of the chalk Zone guy ran for Wow, ran for six years. That's a long that's a good run. Holy shit, two thousand and two to two thousand and eight. Wow, this this podcast has been running as long as chalk Zone. How about that? Has it been running as long as chalk Zone? Now it's spring a it has not even been running as long as chock Zone. That's what we gotta do. We gotta beat chalk Zone.
All right?
Hello, is this the geest Man?
Yes, sir, who is this?
This is chintone Man, Hell yeah, chintone Chinon, Hell yeah.
Chenton what's up? Chinton real name, but people call mechen Cente Cente. You said, Uh, I want to talk about how I cut my dick open.
You want to hear a story like that?
Uh?
Yeah, you know from a guy like you, absolutely please tell me everything awesome.
So this was probably so I'm with my fiance right now. This is like when we sort of first got together. But yeah, I was with my current fiance time, and on my dick, I started like a get like a little growth, almost like a pinple. She was crazy, And it started off small, super tiny, like little pin dot, and just like over like a month or two, it got bigger and bigger, to the point where it was a size a little bit bigger than your standard BB
gun like tell it. So it got to a point where I had to, like, I didn't want to go to the doctor and get that shit checked out. Every time I fucked, I could feel that thing on my penis and it was like fucking damn near middle shaft right on top. That's it didn't hurt or anything, but it was cool. But to get it out was a problem. You know, I'm not sure if you ever heard of like the doctor pimple popper. Yeah, sure, you ever seen any of her videos?
By chance?
I haven't, but I assume she doesn't do dicks.
No, I haven't seen any dicks on there, but fucking that's where I had mine.
Oh fuck, So you had to cut open, You had to cut open. So you had a giant pimple on your dick and you had to cut open the pimple or did you have to like fucking like do it? Was it an inside job? You have to go inside of your penis to get the pimple?
It wasn't, no, no, no, So it was on the surface of my skin, so it was over. I didn't have to go like under, like fucking under the neat or anything. So basically, so my girl had to make the first incision. She had to make the first cut because I was too much of a pussy.
Wait wait, your girl, your girlfriend just made an incision on your penis.
Well, yeah, I got a little like little knife, like a little exacto knife because.
You're doing amateur surgery.
Yeah for real?
Actually, yeah, that's what it was. So I'm over here button naked on the shower, like sitting on the shower tip with my dick in my hand, and well first, I was like, all right, well, get me hard that way, it's easier to like manipula. She's just gonna be moving around your girlfriend.
You have to pay. You have you're sitting, I love, standing standing in the shower and you're you have your girlfriend has a fucking exacto knife and she's gonna cut off the pin on your pennis and you're like, and you're like, hey, can you can you get me hard first so.
You can cut Okay, So two minutes before I get like, I'm sitting on the shower tub with the knife in my hand, you know, and she comes in and she's like you start doing it yet, Like, no, I'm too much of a pussy. So I was like, get me hard first, and then you know, let's do this first decision because it's gonna be moving around and ship. So I got hard. But as soon as she put blade to dick, plofed.
Immediately, and you know, as one does.
Yeah, I didn't think.
I thought I would be able to handle it, but I guess I'm not inture like knife place.
Yeah, I was gonna say, there's probably a lot of guys who that would make them harder.
But you're right right, not me, not me as soon as that happened, but she got the first cut in, dude, and I was like, all right, well, I'm in way too deep. I could see this thing kind of so I might as well keep going. And then as soon as I started squeezing, I realized she didn't go anywhere near because she had to, So I just told her. I told her to get the fuck out.
And just.
How dude, how big was this fucking pimple?
Uh?
So?
It started off super small, like the size of any like little like pin dot pimple, but it grew up to like damn near the size of a bbe, like a little bit bigger, you know, like BB guns.
Oh okay, okay, that's not that big of bb.
No, it's not that big. But I certainly felt it, dude, when you're fucking you feel that thing. And this started bugging me.
Okay, so once you uh sort of popped it or cut it off, like what happened? Like it did it? Heal?
Oh?
Well?
I mean so at first she made that first decision, and I had to keep cutting down. But I got to a point where I got like fifty percent of it uncovered. And this was like a thirty minute process because I was shaking off, scared and shit, fucking blood everyone. But yeah, I just kept trying to tug it off, but that thing was like super glued to my fucking my skin. So I just had to, like, like bit by bit, just pull it and cut, pull it and cut. I butcher a lot of meat, so I knew what
to do. But yeah, it was on me, so it was kind of a different change. But yeah, after I cut it out, I should healed up right away.
Closed.
I didn't need stitches or nothing. At work, I got like I wear I'm a mechanic, so we have like glue for cuts like that, not like that, but for cuts in general. So I just super glued that thing, shut it down, cleaned it up, kept it cool for like a week.
Wait, I'm sorry, what are you super glue?
Well, at my job, I have like it's like super glue when you get a cut, so you can like glue.
Your wounding shut.
So I just grewed the incisions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not rid of it.
You glued your own dick pimple back together.
Yeah, well there's a little hole there because there was a little like sist in there after I was done, you know, there's still there. So I just shut it clothes, kept it clean.
No more issues.
Mmmmm, well, I'm happy to hear that you're doing well now.
Hell yeah, I'm doing great, man, How are you doing that?
I'm doing pretty good too. Actually, I'm doing all right. I'm doing okay. I'm glad to hear that your part. Did you feel like this had any impact upon your relationship?
Uh?
I mean, if it did, it was probably a good one. I think it was one of the better memories with me and my lady.
That's sweet.
Worst part is, though, this is when I was still living with my parents. So I was at my parents. I was doing this, and my mom she has like a special wound spray that like drives out wounds pretty good, and I need some of that stuff too, just to help keep everything clean. As soon as I asked for it, it was an issue. Man, she got scared.
She's like, what happened?
Would you do?
What's the problem?
Like, dude, seriously, I don't I don't want to talk about it, but I just teach the wound spray.
What's my name?
Yeah, it was a good. Go ahead, finish your story about your your mom.
But yeah, my name's Chenpe. But yeah, she she told me she basically she wouldn't give me the wound spray until I told her what happened. So I gave her the whole feeling, just told her what I told you right now, and then she hits me with the oh, your dad gets so ah, So what do you mean my dad gets those? And yeah, so it made sense. Everything came to a full circle at the end.
Yeah, you know that's the that's that's the deterministic nature of life hitting you right in the dick. You know what I mean? It really it's like, that's the deterministic nature of life hitting you in the dick, right is you You can't decide to whom you are born in.
This world, That's exactly right.
You may you may well be. You may well have a cursed bloodline that forces you to have pimples on your penis occasionally.
But now one day I'm gonna have to tell my son, Hey son, you might have a I don't know, but.
Where free will kicks in. Where free will kicks in is the free will to choose a wonderful partner who will be there to help you.
That's right.
To cut the worts off your penis. And how beautiful is that?
That's why I put a ring on it. Man, getting married that girl?
What a wholesome story.
What's up?
Man?
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Oh?
No, Man, just love your podcast. Been trying to get on for a while. I think you called me like on Monday, or I think I missed one of your calls.
Felt bad about it.
But even so, if that talks to you, Man, life's going good. You know, no longer living at parents' house, just about my own. I'm doing all right. We keep truckling.
Sweet, Sweet, thanks for sharing, Chente. I'll see you in the universe.
Man, you have a blessed one.
Get that was Cente. Yeah, dude, I think I believe in free will to some degree. Uh, there's I believe in. Like I think life is like fifty to fifty. I think it's fifty to fifty. There's so many things in life you just can't control. You can't control the genetics you were born, to where you were born, all that shit. So you know that's life. Life is like fifty percent of it is just it just gives you bullshit like a like a like penis pimples, and the other fifty percent.
You know, it's it's whatever you do with that bullshit, the choices you make to help you get through it. I think that's what Vincente was getting at with this. Okay, that's been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thanks for listening. My name is Lyle. I'm a gecko. I'm a person, and.
That's it.
That's all I have to say. Oh, I guess I have some plugs I can talk about. Please go see my live show. I'm doing live shows. I'm touring the country. You can get tickets at therapy geckotour dot com. I'm doing shows all over the place. I don't know when this episode is coming out, but I think I'll be in the Pacific Northwest already by the time this is this comes out, but there's a lot there's a lot of cities, so if you live anywhere, go to therapy
geckotour dot com and check if I'm near you. You can go to Patreon dot com slash Lyle forever to get ad free episodes. I just uploaded a bonus episode with Olivertree. If you guys are familiar with Oliver Tree. I had him come on to do an episode, and that episode is exclusively on the Patreon, Patreon dot com slash lyle Forever. There's bonus episodes, ad free podcast, all that stuff. But anyway, those are my little stupid plugs. Uh. This was a good episode today. I enjoyed this. Thank
you everyone to call. Thank you to Rudy, thank you to Vincenzo. Making me think about life. That's the secret of the podcast, folks. It's therapy for me. It's helping me talk through the fucking nature of our existence on this planet. All right, I've had too many diet cokes today. I'm gonna go calm down somewhere. Jack bless you guys, see you around the universe goes on the line every nine
Teaching Li