All from Violet July.
Hello, Hello, Hey, what's up?
Is this the Gecko?
Yeah?
Who is this?
No way, I'm Violet July.
Violet July. Ooh that's do you know who the insane clown Posse are?
I know of them?
Yes, the head guy. His name is Violent j which is not violent. His name is Violent j and yours is Violet July.
Yeah. I didn't even put those two and two together, but that's cool.
What's up, Violet July. Do you go by Violet July or does do you ever go by Violet?
I go by Violet. It's a recent thing. I started going by my musician name. But I'm not really here to talk about my music, I guess at all.
So you picked you picked the name Violet I did?
I picked it myself.
Was it inspired at all by the daughter from the Incredibles?
No, it was more like Violet Boudelaire from a Series of Unfortunate event.
Oh, there's Violet, Violet Bouldelaire. Is that her name?
Yeah?
I thought you were saying Violet Beauregard. Who is the name of the of the of the girl who I think? I think that's the girl who turns into a giant blueberry in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie.
Oh that was Violet. Yeah, Violet, dou regard.
Those two things? They sound similar. Yeah, well, enough about fictional characters. What's going on with you, Violet?
So actually I'm in a debate on whether or not I should be a stripper again.
Ah okay, uh.
So I was a stripper for four years. I'm twenty five. I started when I was nineteen. I stopped when I was twenty three. But I'm also in recovery. I'm a cocaine addict. I did the cocaine mostly when I was working music festivals, not stripping, but still cocaine is at strip club and I work a retail job now and it's not paying enough for my solver living. And I'm debating on whether or not I should dance two days a week on a day shift somewhere because I'm on
a proper sleep schedule now. My only issue is is that I'm worried if someone offers me cocaine, I will do it and I will ruin my life again. And I've rewrapped four times. I've been to rehab four times, and I'm doing really well now, like I'm happy for once in my life, like I'm actually enjoying living, which is crazy. I never thought that I would enjoy living.
But I really need the money. And I've also been feeling that kind of sexually charged recently, like I felt like it would be a good way to express myself and feel sexy again. I guess because it's been a while and I don't know. There comes a lot of stigma that comes with though, so I don't and that's never bothered me. But now I'm kind of at the point in my life where I'd like to find somebody, and not a lot of people are okay with dating sex workers, so that's where I'm at.
I have a bunch of questions. First of all, congrats on getting sober.
Thank you.
Now you have to so you have to pay to be How does that work? You have to pay to be in a sober living house? What's that whole situation?
Yeah, so I pay to live in this overliving it's like granting monthly, but they cover like electricity and Wi Fi and they get toilet paper for you. So I mean, yeah, it's like a like a once a month charge for all like all.
Bills paid, and did you like go to rehab and then this is sort of like you're getting out of rehab and transitioning via this.
Yeah, this is post rehab.
And is the sober living like significantly more expensive than if you were to just live in a normal place.
It's actually a lot cheaper.
Yeah hmm, that's fascinating. I mean, how long can you stay there for?
As long as I want? As long as i'm parent?
Well, shit, all right, that's a great that's a fantastic situation. Yeah, you like, is it like a dorm room kind of shit where you're like hanging out with other people in recovery and there's like meetings all the time and stuff.
Yeah, we have two house meetings a week. I think there's enough space here for twelve girls, but I think we only have six, so we each have our own rooms right now, M.
Very very Uh are you meeting? Are you meeting a lot of friends?
I am. The thing about recovery is that I really like is the community is really awesome. Like I love going to meetings. I love going to like my IOP, which stands for Intensive outpatient, which is basically just group therapy. I really love it. Also, if I'm talking weird. It's because I've just got my pumpures and I'm still trying to like figure out how to speak with it.
I didn't hear that, But did you, like, did you get one of those tongue piercings where like the tongue is fucking split in half like Patrick's arms.
That would be cool, but now I just got like a little piercing in the middle.
There is anyone else in this that you've met in this recovery center? Is anyone else a former or current stripper?
No?
So all right, so tell me about the stripping you did it from when you were nineteen too? How old?
Twenty three?
Okay? And at the time you were doing it? What made you stop?
I got really burnt out and I switched to cam girling. I was a cam girl for a while and I really liked that. But I can't do that right now
because I live in sober living. I would just do that, but like they won't really allow that, and sober living because like moaning through the walls isn't really so there's like six girls here, Like I just feel like it's it's not When I did it, I lived with people who understood, but I switched to camgirling and then I went to rehab and I got really burnt out in my back hurt. I was just I did it for four years so and it was never anything that I
was passionate about. Like what I'm really passionate about, Like I love working merch at festivals and concerts. I love doing that, and then music. I love making music and performing absolutely love it. I released my first song in January, and I'm hoping I can make a living doing that one day. But it's like in the meantime, I need something to get by, and like, starting a music project is really expensive. Like I'm just a vocalist and lyricist. I have to have people like mix my stuff. I
have a producer that I have to pay. Marketing costs money, and I'm barely affording to live as it is. It's like to get somewhere, I have to like invest in myself. So that's why I think going back to the club might be a good idea, because I mean, I could pay for my project and I could pay for my silver living and I have another job on top of that. So yeah, it's here.
What's your what's your other job? Oh right, you said retail.
We're gonna yeah, retail, hmm.
You see. It's interesting. It's fascinating here you said that you were a cam girl, because when you first said like that, the main fear was that you would uh
get offered cocaine. I was like, while you could just do the you know whatever the digital version of being a stripper is, which, by the way, I you know, I've always found that kind of I find it fascinating that strip clubs even still really exist because I would assume, and you know, I don't know that that like the universe of the financials of being a stripper versus being a cam girl, but I would assume that the benefits of of of doing some kind of camming career is
better than being a stripper in person.
Yeah, I mean, stripping is more money. But I really liked camming, Like I felt like I could just be myself on camera and it was it was a really fun experience. I liked it a lot.
So how much of the decision of whether or not you want to go back to stripping is monetary because you mentioned that it's money, but you also mentioned that you enjoy it in some degree that allows you some degree of expression.
Yeah, I'm an extrovert. I love talking to people of getting to know people, and like, how would I say this without like, I don't know. I've been very sexually charge recently because I think it's like you took away
my drugs and now my brain wants something else. Sure, and I've been feeling very flirty and I've kind of been acting out a little bit, like I've been making out with people in my group therapy and I shouldn't be doing that, Like that's I just don't And I mean I've gotten non tender and met people and whatnot, but it's a matter of like my I guess my r right now is very flirty, and if I could just express that and be that way and get paid for it, that would be really cool, because I feel
like I've been a little inappropriate lately. It's just I guess the vibe I'm giving out because I'm so sexually frustrated and I don't I don't want, like I just need a friends with benefits and I'm on the hunt for one. But it's it's like I don't want all this. I just I don't. I don't want to be screwing around with people that I'm in recovery with you know, and it's very hard for me not I have to.
I have to imagine. I have to. I know, there's like sex addict stuff where you like, it's that that I mean, that must be a crazy can of worms. But I have to imagine that that must be. There has there has to be. I have to imagine that in recovery communities in general, there's a lot of people fucking.
Yeah, there's it's called flaw sex and Love Addicts anonymous, and I am in it.
Uh are you fucking around with people in that group specifically?
No, that's like highly discouraged. Like at the beginning of I don't know how much I'm allowed to say because it's anonymous, but it's it's a very that's highly discouraged.
I I I have to I assume with the with the with the anonymous groups, you can talk about them as long as you're not talking about a specific person.
You're like, yeah, you know, yeah, Well, at the beginning of each meeting, they say, like, this is not a hookup group, Like if anyone approaches you in an appropriate manner, and like we all understand, like we're all kind of in the same boat, so we don't want to like trigger each other. Now with like group therapy and like IOP and stuff like that, it's a little harder because not everyone's a sex addict and it's not it is found pond to like get a rehab romance or whatever
you call it. But it's like there's that that line of respect isn't going both ways. Like someone might flirt with me and it's very hard for me not to flirt with them back, or I might flirt with someone. But like in the in the Flaw program, it's very like we're so there to try to get better that we don't want to like fuck up anyone else's recovery. And I wouldn't want to fuck up anyone else's like recovery and IOP either.
It's because how is the Tinder going.
I had a really good Tinder date yesterday, but I'm afraid I would catch feelings for him, and I'm not really in the place that I'm available to catch feelings for people.
And that's.
Yeah, so you just so you you just want to have no strings attached sex with people.
I just want like one friends with benefits. I can hit up a few times a week and I feel like that would be enough for me.
I feel like on Tinder, you won't have an issue finding that.
Yeah, there's a guy that he is the guy that gives me my coffee and water when I'm at work. We've been hanging out and we talked about a friends benefits situation. It just hasn't happened yet, and I think he would be good because I'm not I don't have any romantic feelings for him. I don't see myself catching any and he's really pretty. But the guy from tender
is actually really cool. And then I kind of started having a friends with benefits thing with a girl but she's in my iop and we sucked once and it was really cool.
But then I was.
Gonna I was gonna ask. I know that the I have to assume that the slog groups are separated by gender, but if you're if you're into all the genders, you're fucked.
Yeah, that's true.
But I guess back to the original issue of like should you become a stripper or not? I mean, look, what about what about only fans? I said only fans? Just now, as if I don't know what only like, that's how that's how somebody who doesn't really know what only fans is would say it only fans, but well, I don't like fans once.
I don't like only fans making content to me is just I've done it. But like, I'm actually not that photogenic. I look way better in life than doing photos. And it's like only fans is, like, you gotta be consistent with it.
You have to.
Constantly market yourself with camming and stripping. You kind of just do it, and you gain a base with only fans. You have to gain a base and then.
Do it right.
And yeah, and I've I've done only fans. I did it for a week, I made a lot of money, deleted it, and it's just it's not my thing. Like making content. I like making content, just not like sexual content. Like I I don't know. I'm a creative. I have a lot of ideas for videos. I write poetry, I write short stories, I write plays.
I'm a writer.
I like editing videos.
Is just.
I don't know, I don't I don't like making sexual content. I like just being myself and talking and having my aura and then doing that like photos and videos are just kind of whatever.
So how long have you been so the did you go to like a sex and love rehab at the same time as the cocaine rehab.
No, I don't think that exists. Actually, I mean it might, but I haven't been the one.
Wait. How long have you been in the slaw for? Mmm?
Maybe like six months?
Okay, how long you been in the cocaine stuff for.
The first time I went to rehab was a year ago.
M hm. How is the retail job going? Where? Where is where is that at?
I don't like it. I'm just not passionate about it. It's a lingerie store. I'm just it's really hard for me to find jobs I'm passionate about. I'm not passionate about sex work, but at least I like it. And I don't dislike this retail job. I'm just it's boring, and I mean, I guess people have to work boring jobs. I'm not trying to complain about it. I'm grateful to have this job. It's just if I have to have
a career, I just want to do something i'm passionate about. Like, all I want to do is write songs and poetry, and I've written books, and I just I want to do music first. So I have a people that will read my stuff, and I just I don't know.
The job is cool.
I like the girls that work there. It's just I'm not passionate about it and it doesn't pay a whole time.
Well, I you know, I think it's good. I think it's good that you have a lot of things you want to do, you know. The way you're talking about them, they're like, it's almost and I do this too. I do this too. What I'm about to say that you're doing, I do this too. And that's why I'm telling you
that I'm seeing you do it. Is like all these passions that you are talking about, like you know what ever, making music or writing things like they're almost like waits the way you're talking about them, you know, But I think they're good to have all these things that you
want to do. And then weirdly, like weirdly, these things they come with like attachments of like I need to make money doing this or be successful doing this, And I think there's that a big part of like trying to be happy with them is removing those kind of unnecessary attachments. And again I I I completely and utterly do that myself. And that's the only reason I'm talking about it.
Yeah, I really appreciate you.
Go go.
I watch your steam a lot, and I'm always like, I wonder if I'll get to talk to them one day?
What is What does the future look like for you? Violet Violent? I'm gonna just call you violent Violent July, Violet, Violet July. What's the future look is?
Violet July? I More poetry, more music, more connection, more love, more kindness, more enlightenment.
And less cocaine.
I don't know, and less cocaine.
Mm hmm, Well, I wish I could have I I it's been It's been great talking to you. I wish I could have been of some form of help in you making your decision.
You're great. It was great to just be able to vent about it. Thank you.
I don't know. I guess you could. There's a way you could. You could combine all these things. You could be. You could be the stripping poet. You you take off one piece of clothing for every every bar. What do you go Are they Is that just rap? Or is that in poetry too?
The bars they're called stamp.
Okay, every stanza, you take off one piece of clothing.
Do you do you want to hear poems.
Sure, let's close out with a poem.
Well, I have like.
Eight thousand pems in my phone notes. I'm just gonna where is it? Let's go with Okay, the anti Christ will entice the gentleman the medicine he needs to kill. The weeds of the demiurge must be purged from his computer, for the consumer is innocent, and the gentleman is ignorant of the colors sent from the other side of reality. For our immortality desires to go backwards. I heard the gentleman's curls can lurel the girls into the catastrophe that
may be essopiric truth. But his geometric youth sings the song of wires, that tire of intertwining the saging masses. So when his soul passes, will he choose to continue down the rabbit hole of hell?
Or will his shell grow roots?
That sounds like something Hermione would say to like turn a demon into a bunny or something. It was a good poem. Thank you, what's your name again? Violet Violent, Violet July.
Violet July, Violet July.
Violet July, Is anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Yeah, I have a song coming out on January first at who is Violet July? If you feel like following, I promise it didn't come here for music promo. But thank you so much. I appreciate everybody like you guys agree.
Also, check out Violent I don't know what his Instagram handle is, but check out a violent violent J. Just go to go to YouTube and type in violent J Miracles and watch that video too while and watch Violet stuff and also that thank.
You so much.
Have a good night, Violet.
Yeah you toobe by bye.
Hello.
What's your name?
Lauren?
Lauren? What's going on with you? Lauren?
Oh?
You know, just not really on house rest. But I have a scram monitor on my ankle.
A scram monitor?
Yeah? Yeah, so it it depends alcohol in your sweat?
And is this because you are legally not allowed to be consuming alcohol.
On twenty four but correct?
Yes, why are you not legally allowed to consume alcohol?
So I I rolled a stop sign and I had alcohol in my system and I got pulled over and yeah, a long story short, I got an ankle monitor.
What was that? Were you above the legal limit?
Yeah? So I'm nott in Utah and Utah's legal limits zero point zero five, which I mean still not great. I don't condone it, But.
How much did you have to drink that night?
I really only probably had four glasses of wine throughout a period of a couple hours, and I could, like I remember the whole like pulling over, the arrest, everything, so after like that whole situation, before I got the angle monitor, I wanted to test the theory to see how my body processed alcohol. So I had a wine night with my friends and we got a breatholizer and for one glass of wine, mine was like double what everybody else would blow. My body just doesn't process alcohol.
Well, I will say soberly. I have rolled almost every stop sign I've ever countered throughout my entire.
Life, exactly. I grew up in California. We roll stop signs.
I think everyone rolls. When's the last time anybody whoever's listening to this, I want you to think about the last time you completely stopped, like like I'm talking complete stop. Your car rolls like rolls back kind of a stop at a stop sign where there's nobody else at like you know, yeah, I mean I'm rolling stops all the time, all the time. How long do you have to wear the thing? For?
One hundred and twenty days? So I got it October eleventh, and I will get it off February eighth. I believe so im just over a.
Month today, and I I just the like part of your ankle that the brace covers get really gross because you can't wash it.
No. I can shower with it, thankfully, and submerged it in water.
You can't submerge it in water.
No, so it you can't submerge it. But you can take a shower because it's or you can see the shower, But you can't take a bath.
What happens if you take it off does to explode.
I can't take it off. I have to go to the jail and they use a special little tool and then it sends all these alerts to the police station that the monitor has been unlocked.
Are you allowed?
Yeah, so I'm allowed to drive. I do have a breathalyzer in my car, So I am double sober with an ankle monitor and a breathalizer in my car.
Is this your first defense? I feel like this sound this sounds like second defense kind of a thing.
It's my first defense. It's just Utah. I also had a wax pen in my car, which I don't smoke weed. I don't even do drugs, but it was an ex boyfriend and whax as a felony out here, So also getting the monitor kind of drop the felony charges. So I was like, you know what, all take an ankle monitor before I take a felony.
Well, shit, that's very Yeah. Utah is very like more many holy we don't do that stuff around here kind of.
A place, which is crazy because growing up in California, I never really like partied, and being out in Utah never party harder.
Tell me about the Utah party scene.
It's weird. It's like, I think, because the data is so strict that everybody just feels the need to constantly be under the influence of something.
Are you born and raised there? You just said, Oh, you said you were born in California.
Yeah, so I was born in California. I grew up there, and I lived in Tahoe for a little bit, and then I moved to Utah two years ago.
What'd you move here for?
Uh? Just a snowboard?
Cool? Really, just a snowboard. Did you know anyone when you moved.
Nope, you didn't know a soul.
How long ago did you move?
Two years ago?
And how's it gone?
It was going good up until this, and now I'm probably gonna go back to California.
What are you gonna do in California?
I don't know. I kind of want to move to southern California. I grew up in northern so I feel like southern it would be kind of a nice change. And I'm kind of an adventurous person. I feel like Southern California kind of has a little bit more to all for me. I do spontaneous things a lot. And also since I've had this inkle monitor, I was kind of nervous. But my probational officer let me go to Vegas for SEMA, which is the car show, which I was really surprised he let me go to Vegas, but
he did. And I convinced the guy sitting next to me on the plane, complete stranger, to take me to the Hoover Dam.
You convinced the guy on the plane with you from Utah to Vegas to take you to the Hoover Dam.
Yeah, I had never been and I really wanted.
To go, and so he like drove there.
Yeah.
At first he was really hesitant. He was like no, and then uh, we weren't. Really. No one said anything on the plane because I had to. I awkwardly sat in the middle seat. It was the last seat available on the plane, and of course I had to sit there. And so I'm sitting between these two dudes and We're just like talking about the Hoover Dam and I was like, yeah, I've never been, so if you guys want to take me,
that'd be cool. And they were like kind of for it, but they were a little hesitant, and then the one guy was like, well maybe, and I was like, okay, well, if you do take me, just a little disclosure, like I'm on probation. I have an inkle monitor. I was like, do you want to see it? And then the other guy was like, you know what, I don't want to go. And then the other guy was like, you know what, I'll take you. So I let a stranger take me to the Hoover Dam.
Was this like a date?
No, No, I just wanted to go and he had time to kill So.
It says here you also you also messaged me to say that you had a stranger take you to Mexico.
Yeah.
So last summer. It was last summer I went to visit my cousin who goes to San Diego State, and I thought he would let me go to class with him. He was super opposed to that and said, no, find something else to do during the day, So with any
solo board traveler would do. I took the train and I wanted to go to Tijuana for a couple hours, and so on the train, I kept like, I guess I was looking around super like suspiciously, and the guy behind me handed me his phone and was like, you look lost, and I was like, no, like I know where I'm going, and he was like, okay, just making sure are you by yourself? And I was like at the moment, yes, but I won't be because I was like,
I don't know what his intentions are. But also I was like, okay, he's typing on his phone, so clearly he's not like making it known to everybody else on the train. And so we typed on his phone for probably like thirty minutes because it was a two hour train ride, and finally he goes, you want to take an uber It'll be ten minutes, and I was like sure. So we get off this train and we're standing like on the side of the road by a military base,
going to tea on it. And then we get in the uber and then I was like, you know what, I could get kidnapped right now. Like this man hasn't said a word to me. Everything's been over text and so I got a panic and I like start pulling little hairs out of my hair and leaving him in the car and just like putting my fingerprints on stuff.
You've been So you you this guy next to you, you you don't speak a word with him, but you just hand your phone back and forth with each other.
Yes, Well, so he handed me his phone and he was like, are you lost? Like do you know where you're going?
He had typedesap or something.
Yeah, And so so you guys are right.
So you guys are so so. So you guys are sitting next to each other, but instead of talking, you are handing this his phone back and forth.
Yeah. So he was actually like a row behind me, so you could like see me like kind of like looking at the train map and like looking at my phone at like all the stops.
Okay, so you get off of this train with this guy who you have not spoken a word to but you're just texting back and forth with his phone.
Yeah, and he showed me that he had ordered an uber. I know it sounds super dumb when I say it out loud, but I was like, okay, he ordered an uber. Ubers are secure, Like I felt kind of safe. I
didn't really question it. And then he was like, okay, like follow me through the like the like the I don't know what it's called at the border, but there's like visitors and then people who have like citizenships, and he was like, just walked through who's like, don't stand too close to me, but just like kind of follow and I was like okay. And so then I get pulled aside and then they're like rodge your passport blah
blah blah. And then I didn't have it, and I was like, I'm just coming in for a couple hours and then leaving, and so they made me buy a day visa, which is only he's like fifteen bucks, and I was like, sure, like, all.
You can get into Mexico without a passport by just giving them fifteen dollars.
Yes, kind of crazy.
That is kind of crazy.
Didn't so this guy still has not said a word to me at all, and I figured, okay, well, maybe there's just like a language.
Why haven't you Why why haven't Why haven't you? I don't understand. You got off the train with this guy. Why haven't you? Why are you not talking to him?
Well, so I would say things like to him, but he would always type back. So I figured like, maybe English isn't his first language, and so like maybe the barrier, but he could hype really good English, but maybe he just wasn't comfortable speaking it.
Okay, was he Mexican?
So yeah, yeah, And so once we crossed the border, he's like, oh, my cousin can give you a ride wherever you wanted to go because I called him I just want to go to the beach, get a taco margarita. And he was like, my cousin can take you. And then I was like, you know what, That's where I got to draw the line, because then it's like, okay, it's not an uber, nothing's getting tracked. But so were across the border and we're standing in front of I don't know if it's Oxo's or o Xxo's, but I
call him Oxos. It's like the seven eleven of Mexico. Yeah, yeah, and this like suv pulls up behind him because he's facing me, so he has his back to the road, and then the guy like honks his horn and the guy doesn't flinch. I was like hmm. And then he turns around and then they see each other, and then they start signing to each other in like sign language. So I was like, oh, he's either deaf or mute. And I was like, you know what, that makes sense
why he has not said a word to me. So I guess I let a death or mute man take me across the border.
Did you How did you end this interaction with this man?
I told him I appreciated his uber and uh, I wished him well and that I was going to take a taxi.
Okay, I mean that's probably good to not get in like a random guy's cousin's car in Tijuana.
Yeah.
Yeah, Well, And so every time I tell people this story, my main priority was obviously not to get kidnapped, but I like to make light of the situation. And I had my cousin's house key, which is the only house key to the house at the time, and so my goal was don't get kidnapped because I had the key to the house and my cousin would not have been happy.
Yeah. Yeah, I like that you. I like that your relationship with your cousin is such that if you got kidnapped in Mexico, their first thought would be, oh, no, she is the keys to my house.
Yeah. He probably he probably wouldn't have been too happy with that one. And I didn't tell him I was going to Mexico either, so he just thought I was roaming around near the campus.
So I mean, are you constantly getting into these crazy adventures?
I want to say no, but if you were to ask my friend, they would probably say one hundred percent.
I mean they're not.
Always that extreme, but they're definitely kind of out there.
What's your whole what's your name again? By the way, Uh, Lauren, Lauren? What's your whole? Prerogative? Lauren? What are you doing? What's your deal?
I do? I have no idea. Like I'm twenty four. I feel like I've done so much in such a short time. Like I don't really have family problems. It's not like it's me like lashing out and stuff like that. I just I don't know. Maybe it's like I didn't have enough, like not control, but my parents telling me like, hey, don't do that type of thing growing up. So it's like Worlds the Oyster. I'm gonna keep going like I do understand consequences. Obviously, I have an inkle monitor.
But what's next for you? What do you want to be next?
That's a good question. I'm having the inkle monitor. I have had my highs of highs and the lowest of lows, so I've had a lot of time for self reflection. Definitely, once I get this off, I probably will just stay sober. But I don't know. I kind of wanted to get there was like a small timeframe where I thought about getting into like being a probation officer because I was like, you know what, I kind of like this, Like I
check in with my probation officer every day. I went into the jail and like talk to the other probation officer for three hours just about life.
Are you are you going to move? So you're planning on moving to La or I guess southern.
Probably like San Diego to Mecula.
Okay, and you try to become a probation.
Maybe. I mean it was just like an idea that crossed my mind because I also used to work for Have you ever had a super Cross?
No?
Wait, h is that just a bike thing?
Yeah? So in the summer they have pro Moto, which is like their outdoor circuit, and I used to work for that. So I lived in a van, I got paid, I live in my boss's van and drive cross country with the mountain bikes for Specialized And so I really enjoyed that, and I met a lot of people in the industry and it's given me a lot of connections that I think it'd be super cool to get back into. Not necessarily like writing because I don't race, but something in the sports industry.
That could be cool. I do you do? You do you predict that you will still have a have a lust for adventure and want to go to weird places by yourself and hang out with strangers. Absolutely, yeah, I'm sort of addicted. I'm sort of addicted to that too, But I'm good. I'm at a point in my life I've been thinking about this a lot. I I do,
I do. I like to do that, And you know a lot of what I do in my career as a gecko is that I did it even before I had I was doing the Gecko thing, but also a lot of part of me is like wonders how much longer I can do that before it's I don't know, I guess sad or yeah, or or it gets me only or whatever. I mean, I'm only. I'm about to be twenty six years old in a month.
Okay, so we're similar to the same age.
Yeah, it's your birthday December.
Twentieth, Okay, I'm January fourth.
Yeah, I'm about to be twenty six. And I don't know. Brother's still like I I you know, I get all these da I mean, I get all these dms from people. I mean on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I guy was talking to the guy in Pakistan and I mentioned that people should DM me to go, you know, film a video with them in a crazy place. And I still want to do all that stuff. And you know, there's this guy on YouTube. His name is Peter Santanello.
I don't know if anyone knows who he is, but he's like inspiring to me because he's like forty five or something like that, and he's still running around making videos all over the world, hanging out with strangers of all different ages and you know, but he's also got like a wife and shit, and you know, he's not fat, And yeah, I think that could be cool if I could do that, if I could have some kind of like stable life and you know, a semblance of real
you know, relationship home kind of a thing, but also be able to you know, go hang out. Yeah, hang out with a stranger in Mexico and not die and make a video about it. So I don't know, maybe there's a way to buy in all those universes.
Yeah, Because I also work at a like a restaurant bar out here in Utah, and the other day one of my tables was these guys that are on a hockey team, and so they were playing the Utah Grizzlies and just me just over sharing my life. The one guy was like, give me your number and I'll give you some tickets. So I went to the game and then we were just chatting after and I was like, I guess I'll have to come to Canada. But then we remember, data can't really go to Canada with a
criminal record, which I don't know if I technicues. I think I do have a criminal record, unfortunately, But you can't go. So then I told him. I was like, well, it looks like you're either gonna have to come back to Utah, California or go to Mexico with me. And so we're going to plan a Mexico trip. And I've met this guy once, but I mean, the odds of
it following through are probably slim. But also I'm the type of person that's like, if I invite you to go on a trip with me, even if you don't go, I'll probably still go on the trip.
I'd say that's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.
Yeah, So if you ever want to go to Mexico, gag, we could go.
You know, it's funny you mentioned that I'm moving away. Oh well, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. But I have been wanting to go to Tijuana even though I've heard it. You can be a little crazy.
Yeah.
Luckily, my mom has a house in Portavarta, so that's where I would prefer to go, but don't want to. Crossing the border is really fun. It's a little time consuming, but the adventure is there.
Does your mom make good tostatus?
No? My mom? Well, my mom is white. My dad's Mexican. Bless my mom, but she can't She can cook, but she can't really cook. My dad's a better cook. My parents don't know that I had a DUI.
Oh they don't.
No.
This happened in May and it's already November and they still don't know. And I'm going home for Christmas and I am on the fence whether or not I want to tell them or not. And I have an ankle monitor, so it's like, okay, but look, how you just wear pants. Well, but it's also California, so it could potentially be warm. Probably not.
But how do you think they would react to seeing that you have the ankle modeler?
Probably a little disappointed.
M Lauren. I don't know you very well, but you seem like you can deal with people being a little disappointed in you.
Yeah, yeahau as long. So that's the thing, is like getting a toe is it's not the worst thing in the world, but it definitely should give everybody a reality check if you've ever gotten one. And it has given me like the world's biggest reality check. Uh. And I'm i the reason I can joke about my situation and make it so lighthearted because I understand and I can acknowledge the consequences that could have happened, Like it could
have gone so much worse. I could have wrecked my car, I could have killed somebody, like all the w but in my case, I just barely rolled a stop sign and that was on and off the road. That was it.
So I hope that you you know, I don't know. I'm back and forth on the whole whether you know, I hope. I hope that you are able to have further adventures in your life. I don't get, you know, I'm I'm kind of bullshitting myself because I don't see why, you know, just because I mean, we're a similar age, and I don't see why just because we turned some age, we're supposed to stop going on weird adventures. I don't know.
I think all that stuff is arbitrary. So I hope you continue to go on as many weird adventures as you want, you know, within the bounds of safety, of course, yeah.
Which I mean, I always, I always. Sometimes I don't think in the moment, but I feel like I always do have a good gut feeling and I do have a good head on my shoulders and I kind of know when to draw the line and if I'm pushing that line a little too much. And like that's the thing too, is even just trying to date, it's hard to find guys that are gonna be like you did what you let a stranger take you where? Like okay, yeah, I did, I let a stranger take me somewhere, but
like I don't know, I survived. I'm here.
I guess that's a good point. I think about that all the time when like you ever meet somebody old and they tell you and they not old, but like like somebody who's like a crazy, reckless driver and they're like twenty five, yeah, and you're like, wow, you've probably been driving like this for nine years and you haven't died.
It's pretty crazy. Yeah, And I think about that if I'm like ever in the car with them, I'll think about that, because I've been in a car with a crazy driver couple of times, and I like, while I'm praying that we're not going to die, I think to myself, I'm like, well, why, now, why would they if they've been driving like this every day for nine years, why would it be now with me in the car that they would crash.
Yeah, but you never know. It's one of those weird things that's like people are always like, I don't know how to say it. Like some people are like, if it's your time, it's your time, and like everything kind of happens for a reason, and like I think me
getting this DUI kind of happened for a reason. It's super shitty, but it is an expensive lesson and I'm very thankful in a way because I've learned so much about myself and like where my priorities are and what I want out of life and stuff like that.
Well, Lauren, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I know you you said something about like everybody always say something inspirational. I thought about it. I was like, oh, I don't drink.
A jive, but okay, so I'm just get there's a sign note real quick. One time I was I was not expecting this to go viral within the gecko community. But one time I said on the podcast, everyone always answers that, because I say at the end of every call, if it trens anything else you want to say, And I said one time that everyone always answers it with a motivational thing, and I think I said, you don't
have to do that. And I said that once and now every time I ask the question, everyone responds by saying, oh, I know you don't like it when people say motivational things. All I was saying, I don't have to say something, but you say whatever, say whatever you want. Lauren.
Okay, Okay, I think I'm gonna go with send the forty dollars on an uber because ten thousand dollars is not worth it.
I like that. Uh, thank you for calling, Lauren. Have a rest of the night.
You do by Oh.
You know what, I'm going.
To to Juana call from Kaylee?
Hello, Hi, how's it going. It's going good? What's up? Kaylee?
Not much? I'm just hanging out in bed?
Wow? Are you are you? Are you comfy? Cozy? As they would say, comfy.
Cozy, so comfy cozy.
Rock and roll. That's a good place to be. Well, let's let's get a little uncomfortable, shall we. That's a weird thing to say. What's up? What's your name? Say your name one more time?
Kaylee?
Kayley, Okay, that's what I thought it was, Kaylee. What would you want to talk about today.
Wow, I'm a little unhappy at where I am in my life right now in general, mostly because I'm in a PhD program and I have been thinking about leaving for like a year. Now.
What PhD program are you in?
I am getting my degree in molecular cell biology.
Oh my god, I can see why you want to quit. Yeah, it sounds awful. What made you want to do that?
Well? In college, I ended up working in a research lab and I kind of liked it, and I was like, well, why not keep doing this for a little bit longer and so I can figure out a more like stable career path. So I figured grad school was a really great option, and now I hate my life.
It's not. I mean, looking at cells, right, they move slightly every once in a while, don't they? Oh?
Yeah they do.
It's so I ended up doing so.
I ended up joining a cancer rec search labs. And one of the things that kind of goes through my head all the time is, Wow, cancer is like so hard to study. I don't know if anything I'll ever do will amount to any sort of treatment for anyone. So it just feels really futile and kind of like, you know.
It's funny. You know, I think it's so funny. Is just you represent this idea that, like, you know, humanity never finds the cure to cancer because you know, we just got bored.
You know. I wish that. I wish that was.
Bored of sitting in like all the scientists that we're working on it, we're looking at cells and writing things down and being like, this fucking sucks. I want to go get high and moved and play video games. This is fucking boring, And it's actually kind of cool that, Like, I mean, there's a lot of people who do do that, but as a whole science, even though it's boring to sit and look at cells, we still do it and that's cool.
I feel like my there are there definitely are people that hate their lives in grad school because they think it's boring. I feel like I still definitely have an interest in science. It's just I think the whole process is overwhelming. I think the structure of academia is stupid. I don't know if what I want to do with my life now I necessarily need a PhD. There's all sorts of factors that that are contributing what you want.
To do with your What do you want to do with your life? Now?
That is a great question. I've always told myself that I don't want to be a professor or run a labor anything that I just want to go sell my soul and work for big pharma. But nice, but those jobs are so incredibly hard to get. And yeah, I don't know if I necessarily want to grow cells in a dish and give mice cancer anymore.
You know, it's everyone shits on being a sellout, but they don't know how hard it is to get those sell out jobs. It's not easy selling out.
Oh definitely, it's not.
All right. Do you wanna uh, well, if you quit your PhD today, what would your what would tomorrow look like?
Hmmm? Well, I think my my, my boss, and my lab would probably let me stay until I found this job, and I would probably start looking at jobs in science in my city. It's like there there there are some, so I think I I would probably be able to get.
Something, but I don't know.
I remember I reflect back to like, I'm just gonna sound really stupid. I reflect back to like high school when I was a cashier at a grocery store, and I like, really enjoyed talking to people, and I'm like, maybe I would like doing some retail or customer service for like a little while and then just to get my bearings. But I know, I'm sure lots of people in customer service are like yelling, being like, do not do that?
Have you done? Wait? Hollo? I said, but you've done it before.
I kind of so. I don't know if you count cashier at a grocery store as like retail.
I kind of did.
Yeah, how long were you doing that for?
I just like two years in high school?
Okay? And did anyone ever come in and spit on you and make you want to never do it ever again?
No? But I did have weird middle aged men try and hit on me when I was like fifteen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, did well about But I don't I don't think what's your name again, Kayley. I don't think that the decision to be like looking at cells sucks. I want to do something with my hands and look at people and talk to them. I don't think it's a bad call. I don't think it's a bad call. Well because also, I mean, yeah, you say that people in customer service might be listening to this and screaming at you not to do it. But everyone's everyone's wired differently.
They are so for there are some jobs that for some people are the you know, hellish, and then for other people they are you know, like you know, bagging groceries and talking to old ladies and stuff. So I don't think it's a bad move to. I don't think it's bad to you know, what is it two steps back, one step forward, or two steps back, three steps forward some shit like that, something.
With steps the step steps like the.
Steps at up to be good step but yeah, why not.
Yeah, there's just it's just such a big decision because if I left, I probably would never be able to go back and get a PhD if that's something I wanted to go back to, at least at the university on that now. So it's just a big can you.
Just learn all that? Look, whatever you're learning in your PhD, I'm sure is on YouTube.
I man, maybe I missed, Maybe I missed.
A big video essay about how to cure cancer.
I bet no, I bet I bet there's a guy on the YouTube who knows, like, here's how to cure cancer from a cell. It's you know, it's probably like a three hour long video, but you'll know how to do it by the end.
Yeah, I'll have to do a deep dive definitely.
Well, Kaylee, I'm glad that I was able to successfully convince you to make a major life decision.
I'm appreciate it, Lyle, thank you so much.
Is is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
No? I well, I know you get so many callers that are like, I've been listening to you for ages, but I'm kind of a recent caller. I started listening to your podcast like a couple of months ago, and oh cool.
They definitely brightened my days.
Cool. Thanks man, I'm glad you I'm glad it's no. I think that's awesome. I'm glad the new people are are are listening to the pod. I hope, I hope that you continue to listen for as long as you enjoy listening.
You got it.
Yeah, I'll be back.
Thanks again, Take care, Cayley, all right, have a good night.
Karen cancer sounds boring as hell, never bek and goes on the line, thank yous all calls every night, never goes to what guy just teaching you?
A loud and lively expert