REVENGE OF THE GECK

All from Grace.

Grace. Have we spoken before, Yes, but I have a inventory. You have a Revens story. Please please enlighten me, Grace.

I wanted my boyfriend to share his adventstorys because he's way more petty than I have.

But he's being all shy.

He's being shy.

I don't know why.

I'm sure, no, I'm shy. The don't put him on the phone. I'll be nice to him.

He wants, Lyle wants to talk to you.

I'll be nice. I'll be nice to him. I promise to be nice to him. I don't always promise i'll be nice, but I'll promise i'll be nice to him.

What's going on, Lyle?

What's your name?

Josh?

Josh? Look, I really appreciate you, you know. Look, I heard how shy you are. I heard you're a shy, fragile little boy, and so I just want you know I'm going to be very careful with you. I'm not going to drop you the whole let it go, okay, because I love you very much. And look, I just really appreciate you having on the phone with me in spite of your your your thankfulness. Okay, I'm imagining you right now. You have big bright red rosy cheeks.

Yeah.

That, and you're just the most adorable person I ever talked to. Listen, Josh, yes, holy shit, I remember that. Have you ever gotten revenge?

You know?

So Grace is kind of putting me on the line right there. I have, I just can't remember them.

I can tell you.

One I did remember it just now, though, please. So I was in class, this was I believe the fourth grade, and this one kid would always pick on me, right. He would always like throw stuff at like my I don't know, he would like flick my ear or like throw pencils down my shirt, right. And this happened for like an entire year, right, And I never want Like I was that kid who didn't want to get in troubles.

I'd just be like, all right whatever.

Till finally one day I forgot what he did. But he did something he really pissed me off. So one day he went to go sharpen his pencil, right, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna get my revenge on this kid someway or another. So I got one of my pencils, right, and I like I didn't. It wasn't like a normal like pencil. It was like a lead pencil, mechanical pencil. So I kind of took it out as as like the leadout as far as I could, right.

Interesting you stabbed him? Did you penetrate the skin?

I did penetrate the skin.

There was blood, There was blood.

My enemies did suffer.

What was his reaction to being stabbed? Oh?

He was a bit about.

He was like, bro, why would you stab me?

And I told him, I was like, did you don't you know, mess it with me out here?

Buddy?

Oh?

Why would you start?

Man?

I got to tell you, Josh, I'm very shocked because I thought you were a sweet, innocent little boy. But I had no idea you were capable of such malice.

I am you know.

Are you two still friends?

Uh?

No, I have no idea. What happened to that kid?

Do you think he's still alive?

I I I would hope so, because you can't go around just stabbing people and thinking that they may not try to take revenge out on you. Oh yeah, no, I still look over my shoulder to this day.

I'd continue to be careful, Josh, but I will like your cover. I like what you're doing here. You're walking around with your with your little spinner hat and your lollypop as if you wouldn't heard a fly. So I'm already looking to you as the person to go revenge on. I like that, Josh. Well listen, thank you so much for sharing, and continue to watch your back absolutely.

Kick you have a wonderful day.

What about my revenge story?

Ever goes on the line, making every night ever goes? I was teaching you all from Trent.

Trent, Hello, my friend, how are you? Trent?

I'm fantastic?

How are you?

You're fantastic? Are you fantastic? Anything particularly going on? Or are you just saying that? Are you?

Do you are?

Do you actually feel fantastic? Or was that just sort of you wanted to respond enthusiastically to me.

I feel mildly fantastic. I just woke up from a nap and and enjoying my day off.

What do you do on your days on?

I work at guitar center, and I'm also a musician on the sign.

What kind of music do you play?

I'm in a psych rock band, as in of the psychedelic variety.

You sound exactly like all the things that you're saying right now. Good.

I'm glad.

I like you know. I like that because it would be weird, that would make.

Sense, that would make me an improster.

Otherwise.

It's kind of like when you ever say something and someone says you would say that happened.

Yeah, yeah, I think that's happened before.

I hate that expression because everything I say is something I would say.

That's a fact. Yeah, that's just reality.

Listen, Trent, have you ever gotten revenge?

Uh?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure I have. I'm trying to think of a specific instance. Let me jog my memory here for a second.

Maybe someone came in, they stole one of your guitars, so you went to steal one of their guitars. Someone you took acid, and a dog called you fat, and so you had tracked down the dog, but it wasn't a real dog.

That would be That would be a that would be a story worth hearing. But I think my story is probably lesson. I'm not much of a vindictive person.

No, you don't say.

I've definitely been wrong before and had the idea of revenge. So I've had my house robbed before at a point in time where I was living a less than proper lifestyle, and I was on a mission to find out who did it, and I was gonna beat the living shit out of them. But I never made it around to it. The only time, the only instance that's coming to mind, revenge wise, was Shenanigan's heighs like middle school wise.

Would you say, by the way, when you say a less than proper life, what do you mean by that?

Oh?

You know, I've not always done the most socially acceptable things.

Socially acceptable by you know what definition?

I mean?

Were you living in a U.

A van?

Were you living in a crackhouse? Socially acceptable? On what level?

M I basically operated the trap house?

Okay, for selling illegal substances at a point in time.

Okay, someone who the person that robbed you were they sort of in your circle? So when you met the we.

I think I believe it was someone that we were friends with who was an addict and robbed us for what you know, for our money. And et cetera, and just out of jealousy, as people do that anymore.

No, I'm sorry you were gonna say so. You said he robbed out of jealousy.

Oh yeah, yeah. You know when when you're when you're making money and doing things, people see that and want what you have.

That's just.

An unfortunate part of human nature I found.

And you don't. You don't do these these things anymore, right.

No, yeah, and hopefully it's outside the statute of limitations by now, A long time ago.

So what got you out of game? Trent?

At situations like that? That was not the only time our house got robbed either.

So.

Was that sort of the the catalyst for change.

In that regard? Yeah, I still did shitty things to myself for years to come, but past, hopefully past that part of life.

Now these these these your past life is something you talk about in your music at all.

Oh yeah, yeah, see. I also have a solo project where I do like folk folk punk songs and a lot of them about like depression, you know, mental health, drug, drug abuse, addiction, stuff like that. So that's a It's a cathartic tool for sure.

Absolutely, it's my therapy.

Get go so to speak.

I like that.

I like that. Where we where can we listen to your music? Trent?

I actually have a new album coming out on May, which is next week. It's called buck Till pay Day fucking and that'll beyday. Buck till pay Day? You are correct? What do you think? How does that grab you?

I like it? It makes sense. I mean, don't you. Don't you have trouble with like the the getting into Spotify listings or whatever if you have fucking the title.

No, Spotify is fully down with it. I go through like distro kid, which is a online distribution site for like music purposes, that gets you know, you subscribe to that and then you can get it out through Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, switch, et cetera. And then it collects, it collects revenue services for you and shit.

Before we go, just I mean, briefly, what's the the main sentiments that you want people to take away when they listen to fuck Till pay Day?

If you listen to it, just take a moment to reflect on life in all of its various circumstances and try and come away with something positive and you know it, just don't be a dick.

Well, thank you so much for sharing train. You have a good rest of the night.

Thank you, wile you too, how from Flora Flora? Yeah, Hi, oh my god, I can't believe.

I got through.

How you doing? Tell me everything good?

Oh wait?

Sorry, what were you going to ask?

Oh?

I wasn't gonna ask anything.

Oh well, I have a good revenge story, please, Okay. I had a really shitty neighbor in college, like woke me up at two in the morning one time, banging on my door. He was bleeding in his underwear. He wanted to borrow a screwdriver to take his bathroom door off the hinge. So yeah, like worst thahbor ever, And so I got the best petty revenge ever, which was one night.

Yeah.

I want to hear the rest of your story. But all right, a thing of your neighbor knocks on your door to try to borrow a screwdriver late at night. I can see where that's annoying. But you completely just glossed over the part where he was bleeding from his underwear.

Oh no, he was in his underwear. He was bleeding because he had tried to kick in his own bathroom door.

Yeah.

Oh that's like, how out of it he was just a drunk frat guy, you know, drunk frat guy thing.

So how did you enact your revenge on him?

I waited, you know, we don't get angry in the moment. Yeah, don't get angry in the moment. I wish that would have been the better revenge, but yeah, I waited till the next weekend whenever him and this frat guy friends got drunk again outside and he left his TV outside and I didn't take the TV. I just took the power chord. Hm hmm, like just pull the power cord out of the back of it and then yep, just letting them try and figure out what's going on.

You know, that's that's interesting because that's just it's not too extreme. It's not like I fucking smashed this guy's TV in Yeah. No, no, I'm not just annoying enough. Yeah, got like expensive, just annoying enough.

Yep.

But I also believe that you fucked yourself. I actually all in, Oh, I believe you did yourself service because you know what's gonna happen.

Flora, lay it on me.

You know what's gonna happen is a bloody pussy jizzy, sweaty your neighbor is going to cover it in jiz and blood and sweat and come is gonna knock on your door at three o'clock in the morning saying, hey, can I borrow a power cable from a TV? And then in that moment you're gonna be like, damn, I wish I had just let it go.

You know I had. I've moved since then. But you know that doesn't sound like a bad time though, you know it's like another story, it's another chapter.

Well, listen, Flora, before we go, how are the new neighbors much better?

Much much better? Not that crazy.

Driver? If they came to you at three o'clock in the.

Morning, I would help them with whatever they're like they needed the screwdriver for.

I'm absolutely it's welled to hear that, Flora. Thank you so much for sharing.

You're very welcome. Thanks for having me on Get have a good night.

How from Garrison?

Garrison?

Hello, get you, Hey Garrison, go get.

Not a whole lot? What's up with you?

Oh man? I just want to talk about revenge. Man, I think I got a revenge story for you.

Okay, tell me at dog.

So I weren't to look back deep on this one. But when I was young, I went to like this daycare. Right, So both my parents work, so I was at this place kind of like both day it's kind of like Lord of the Flies. But the kids and you know, we just kind of wait around the wall and there was just uh, there's this guy and we'll call them right, and that Max was a lot SiO me Like, I was.

Just like a little you're cutting it. You're cutting out a little bit here and there.

Oh, talking about bad. I'm walking around.

I can tell you're excited. Oh, it's a little bit better.

I'm charged up.

Okay, all right, So you're in a day care facility that has very little to no adult surveillance.

Yeah, this is think about like baby Lord of the Flies.

It's pretty accurate, Baby Lord of the Flies. I'm noticing a trend where in you know, a lot of our a lot of our revenge stories are about things that happened, uh, you know, in people's youth, which I think is good. I I you know, I I talked earlier at the very beginning of the stream about how I don't really have my you know, current thoughts about revenge. But I think one thing I've learned is that you know, as

Yeah, so I mean just I mean, this guy was just bigger than me. Man, Like, he was just a he's just an asshole. Like everything I brought there he would just take from me if he liked it or sure, you know, like if like if I like Pokemon, like I had, like you know, the Pokemon games of my game boy, and like, you know, if he wanted to play, man, he would just come up and take it, like whenever he.

Wanted, he commandeered you through force.

Yeah, he was. He was bigger than me.

Like he just was straight up.

And so you know, Tom goes on and I don't really see him or think about him that much. And I mean, but this went on, I mean for days and weeks and months, and it just you know, it kind of took its toll. And then you just go by. You know, I go to middle school or I almost school, middle school, high school, but I get it, you know, I get pretty big man like I become. I played you know, competitive for ill went to D one football college.

Wow, that's horrible. I hate that.

Yeah, I mean I was feel good at that, right, So my revenge resulted in me becoming the thing that I was revenging against.

Interesting, now, I mean, you know, I mean, well, here's why I hate this is because I mean to carry on. I mean, what's the difference here? I mean this this His initial bullying of you was when you were in elementary school, right, and then in high school. To carry those emotions for that.

Long and I can't describe it, must say.

That that's take a toll on you. Yeah, I mean that that's not productive for anyone.

Well, you don't even know you have those emotions and until you're in the moment and those emotions show up at it nowhere and I didn't even know I thought about that part of my life.

Listen, man, I've had people, you know, in middle school, I had people, uh you know with whom I had contentious relationships. And then later on in my life, as we mature. You know, I started rendezvous with them, we actually become friends. I mean that that feels so much better than you know, you know, shove shove this guy's face and his pudding cup for no reason.

Oh why, It's not something I'm proud of again. I mean, like you said earlier, as we mature, we want to is it not behavior we typically chase? Right? I don't feel good about it, but it I mean, it's almost like when I got done with it, I didn't even know I hadn't done it until it was open. I couldn't even think this.

This seems to me as though you just kind of, I don't know this, have this impulsive nature.

Uh.

I don't know, I would say necessarily impulsive. But I think I followed my Yeah, I guess maybe. I mean I didn't. I just know that. It's like I didn't even know when I walked over there that's what I was gonna do. But I just knew something had to be done to this guy, and that was just a feeling I followed over there.

Mmmm, well, how did he react?

He didn't really. Everyone kind of acted confused because, like you said, this is a pretty deep seated grudge and I walked away, and I don't think I ever saw him again.

You know, that could have been a friendship.

It could have.

You could have used him as an ally. Maybe I could have ken How old do you know?

I'm twenty nine, so this was I mean, this was a long time ago.

Okay, then how old is say? Probably also twenty nine. Maybe you'll run into each other one day and you'll rekindle.

Ohso, I mean, so you know, just the main method for me was the revenge I took ended up in me being the thing that I was upset about to begin with. And it's just a vicious cycle.

That can happen.

Well before we go, Do you feel as though you are still that thing now?

No?

Absolutely not good.

Good? How would you what would you say you are now?

I would say I'm a more inward looking person. No, not as rash, not as hot headed. I think that, you know. I don't sugarcoat things, even for myself. I'm pretty realistic. That's why I don't mind talk about stuff like this when saying, you know, I'm not that person anymore.

I'm glad to hear that you move on. I'm glad to hear that you've realized the error of your ways. I'm glad hither you have changed who you are as a result of reevaluating your past decisions that were not embarrassed of our past selves. It means we're not growing. So I commend you. Which your name was, Garrison? Do

Emma, Hello, Gecko, I'm great, How are you?

I'm a Gecko on the computer.

Emma, Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm so excited. I did not think I was going to get on.

Good.

Look, Emma, I need you. I need you, just for both of our sake to be a little bit less excited, because here's the thing. I I can't promise you that this will go well. I can't promise you. I just trying to set your expectations. See you said the way that you said, Oh, just now, and I could like a downward trend of very excitement. That's perfect, That's exactly where we want to be.

Okay, I'm there.

Uh listen, am. Have you ever gotten revenge on someone?

Revenge? M hmm, I don't think so. I don't know. There are some people I would like to get revenge on, but I probably will not act upon it.

There are people you'd like to get revenge on. Tell me about someone who you'd like to get revenge on. M.

Well, I don't know. I'm just like you know, I just try to move past it.

You know, I'm not really really on its much.

But I don't know. I just think about some key fool that you know may have hurt my feelings in the past.

And.

The person that hurt your feelings, well, I did this guy for two years and he hurt my feelings pretty bad. He just like broke a few months ago.

Yeah, m did he did? He hurt?

Why?

What?

What was the cause of the breakup? If you don't mind me asking.

He's a jerk, but uh, there's a lot of things that led up to it, some serious things. But you know, the one that finally broke the camel's back was sad he was just talking to too many other girls. I couldn't I couldn't deal with this.

Mm hmmm. You felt like you were being held on reserve or something like that.

Yeah, but it was like that's supposed to be like the number one, you know, like first team.

Well the I mean, did you go in to this with sort of? I mean, was it an open relationship in which you know the there how did you talk to other people? Or was fully closed?

No?

It was closed, like if I was to talk to someone else it would be a big problem, which it has been even afterwards, because I was like, Okay, well you don't want to date me, then you know, I'm gonna go and find a new man. And I did, and you know he didn't. He's upset about that, and how.

Are things going with him.

The new boy really good. It's great, good, kind of way better. So I think that's kind of revenge in itself too.

I like that. I think that that's a good way of getting revenge to move on amicably, to find a new relationship, or even to invest more in yourself as you move forward into your life.

Yeah.

I think I'm also investing in myself right now because this guy is a lot nicer to me too, and it's just you know, I feel happier.

I feel like that.

Well, I'm happy to hear that. Emma, thank you so much for sharing.

Yeah, I'm really glad I got to share with.

You, Lyle.

I'm glad we got to talk to I'm a get go on the computer. I never thought I would be. I never thought this could happen in a million years, and it did.

I really love I really love what you do. It's awesome. I listened to your podcast like all day day. I'm catching up.

Hell yeah, Well, thank you so much for being a part of the GAK nation. And I'll talk to you soon.

Yes, I would love to talk again.

Who who call from?

Sam?

Sam?

Hey? What's up?

How old are you? Sam?

Nineteen?

You're nineteen. You're nineteen thousand years old. It's very old. You might be older a great Wall of China.

Definitely. I have I have two revenge stories. One of them has to do with laxatives and the other one has to do with an old teacher of mine. Which when would you like to hear?

Chat? What do you want to hear? I do you want to hear about the laxatives of the teacher?

Hmmm, they're deciding. I'm telling you right now, don't. I would not recommend investing in cryptocurrency on a large scale. It's not very controllable. What has always been worth value is precious metals and property. So I would say, buy a plot of land or something, or get some silver or gold.

That's always silver going for these days.

By the ounce or by the pound, usually botten ounces.

It's just silver.

Silver. Right now for an ounce, it's about twenty seven dollars. Last last May when I bought some, it was nineteen dollars, and it's big going up again.

You know what's cool about I think buying gold?

What's that?

Did you get to own gold?

Yeah? I have a little bit of gold, and I'm telling.

You, yeah, I have a little bit of gold.

You feel pretty powerful.

It makes you feel like dragon or something.

Or a getto or a.

Story.

Okay, lax in the story. So back in high school for four years I worked in a steakhouse. It was a small steakhouse. I've come from a small area. So it was three cooks in the back, four waitresses, and one guy at front. The one guy at print, he would let's just call him Mark for this, not his actual name. Mark would like to uh drink about thirteen Doctor Pepper's every single ship. And the thing is, our boss said, you can have it pop and everything without having to pay for it's just keep it to a

I don't understand why, all right, So he drank so much doctor pepper that he ruined the free doctor Pepper party.

And he was an ass that I should have prefaced that he was also an ass. This is just the final nail in the coffee.

Okay, because if one if because look having to pay a dollar, first of all, a dollar for a can if doctor pepper incredibly reasonable.

Yes, but the needs of the wages we made it by restaurants and how much they bought it for it wasn't But still now he wasn't asked before.

This did he do anything to you besides the doctor Pepper, because that seems kind of kind of uh uh.

You know, not that bad excessive. Uh yeah, we thought that too, and then uh we realized him. He would show up late about every single ship he was. He was a family member of the people who owned the restaurant who were never there, so we really couldn't touch him. He could do exactly whatever he wanted to and he would still make about five bucks more than that's an hour.

What did you do to the teacher? Now, I'm curious, Okay, the teacher, I prefer the story.

No, No, okay, good No, No, I'm legally stating right now. I know.

I think there's going to come a time where someone's gonna call into the stream.

Is anybody recording confess to.

Me that they've murdered someone? And I just, I just I want to make sure right now that that doesn't happen, because then I'm going to be an accomplished to it, and I don't want to get involved in anyone's court case or anything.

So I am one.

This person that you didn't kill, but you did something else to them that was not as bad.

Okay, let's call her missus Roberts for this. This is in her actual name. So this was eighth grade year and in middle school, we were feeling pretty good. We're about to go to high school. And this one teacher, she was known for being absolutely the meanest teacher that any of us ever knew. She Yeah, why didn't even go to a Catholic school and she acted like a Catholic teacher, like she would if you fell asleep in class and got help her the entire fucking history class

Of the head with the yard stick.

Sure, then she would call it the one I'm a kid caught the stick and threw it, called the principal, who she may call the police and say the kid tried to attack her.

Wait, hold on, that's totally bad ass. She would hit people with a stick and then the kid just took the stick.

Yeah. No, it was honestly like that, Oh what is it?

Ultimate instinct right up with how long the fucking nineteen fifties. You can't hate the kids with a stick as a teacher.

No, she She was an older teacher and it was a small school and.

It kind of got away with it. What the fuck?

Yeah, no, it was. It was a bad principal, bad system at the time. In the last two years before that, we had a lot of new teachers and faculty move around, so no one was really tray.

Where do you live? Does just no one give a ship out there?

It's not that we don't give a ship where It just seemed to be tougher to it because we have so many freaking teachers smacking us with sticks.

Okay, a T shirt.

So we set up somewhat of a staying operation, all of us who had iPhones. We set it up in our jackets or shirt like taped into our chests or something hit record to the camera was shooting like it was sticking out one of our butonholes or something on our shirt, so we could see it in front of us for a whole day. And this was one of the worst days. One of those scenes, tried to provoke her to do something, and then we cheated a bunch

Okay.

Then we ended up sending it to the cops. We brought it straight to the sheriff's office, and not only did she get fired, but she got brought up in a court where we had to be witnesses for it on child abuse in the school. And then it ended up being about the entire class.

The way that the story was phrased was a lot more. Uh. Yeah, you know, we're abused by your teacher and you called the police on her. But you may seem like you were gonna like put to put the bubblegum into her something.

Yeah.

I don't know.

No, No, she was just a mean old lady.

But she can't hit kids anymore.

Nope. I'm pretty sure she got out of prison about a year ago or so. I cannot remember.

Well, she's coming for your as I hope they did. They put about this protection program or else you're gonna wake up with the middle of the night with a with a yard stick up your ass, my friend.

Dude, she's got to be like ninety three at this point. I don't know why she was still teaching.

Well listen, thank you for sharing that story. And I hope that you live to uh not. I hope that she doesn't kill you with a stick.

As do I. But I'll be ready.

Have a good day you too. Mentic care but.

All from Mariah Mariah.

Hello, Hey, what's up, Mariah?

How are you?

I'm a gecko? Mariah.

Oh, that's wonderful. I actually.

It's you know, it is nice, it's it's it's good. I think when I I mean, I don't know how long I'll live. But if I'm like eighty, I think when I look back on my life, I'll be like, you know, I had that once I had, you know, that time in my life in which I was a gecko. Maybe I'll be a gecko until I die. But at the very least, I've carved out this amount of time of my life to be a get Go. I don't know how long it'll last.

I've never yeah, I've never thought about that. I've never googled how long a get go lives?

Well, how long do you think you're gonna live? When do you think you when do you want to die? How old are you now?

I'm twenty nine, you're.

Twenty nine, and how long? How much longer you want to go?

I've made it so much farther than I thought.

That's good. Okay, So everything's just a bonus.

For you now at this point.

Yeah, that's kind of how I feel, too, Like you ever read it, Like sometimes I'll read about you know, like in like you know, less developed countries where like the lifespan is shorter, and I'm like, damn, you know, I feel like I got everything else is a bonus, Like why should I get to live longer than this guy who died? You know?

Yeah? Or like in the past, I feel like people used to be like, oh my gosh, you're twenty nine. You're old.

And when you think of like if you say the average human lives to eighty, I fin like twenty nine is pretty You're not even halfway there yet, dude. Yeah, you would actually be like ninety nine percent of the way there if you got hit by a car tomorrow.

Oh my god. Right right right, I'm like a heavy smoker.

So, m do you do you like being twenty nine.

It's fine. I'm glad I'm not in my early twenties during the pandemic.

Oh why is that?

Because I got to have more fun then, so I got that out of my system a little bit.

M What did you do during the pandemic? Because it's twenty nine year olds?

Hmm?

You know what?

I really got into flowers and plants.

Flowers and plants. It's good. It's good to have a hobby. Did you do you do you have a job of any kinds?

I do.

Flowers and plants. That's aw us, it doesn't.

I'm a hairstylist, so so sort of but not really.

I guess the hair grows in the same way that a plant does.

I guess.

Yeah, it's all It can all be art.

I think so too. I think every there's a there's kind of an art to everything, if you think about it.

I guess.

What's your name again?

Mariah?

Mariah? Yes, have you ever gotten revenge?

Oh?

My god? Yes, but I would not super be able to share what it was. But it was good.

It was what Maria? What the hell? Why would you?

I know, I feel so bad.

I'm mad at what did you do? Tell us?

Well?

The first thing was terrible, but then the second thing helped me get my husband, So I'm okay about the second thing.

All right, what's the first thing?

Oh see, the first thing is the one that would just be like, but I will say that has been sort of resolved. So with getting the revenge, there was healing.

What did you do?

So it was not super safe, So it wasn't the best thing to say to you right now, gek, but it is something that at this point was I'm healed from which is good?

Is it?

Is it dangerous.

A little bit? But it was family stuff. So did you kill one of the things you get stuck with? No, it was super awesome. I didn't kill anyone.

How what I what's your Mariah? Mariah? Why would you call in to tell me that you can't tell me a story?

Okay, So there was a situation where something was not pointy and I didn't expect it to like stick, but it did stick.

Who did you say?

It was like not intended to be violent.

It was like a fork situation.

What did you do?

Pretty much?

Just that that's the most.

I could say.

Okay, you stabbed someone? No, who did you stab?

Wait?

Why did you stabbing? Someone result in you being with your husband.

Now, no, that's the second thing. So that's a whole different, completely kind of revenge. But that ended up being happy as well. Both things ended up being really happy.

Wait, so these things aren't related.

No, completely unrelated.

All right, So you stabbed someone for what did? What did the person you stabbed do to you to make you stab them?

It was actually self defense, thank god. So I was okay, it was a fight situation, You got into a fight, yes, yes, it was domestic.

Yes, oh okay, sure, sure, sure, all right, So what happened with your husband? What was the second thing?

So the second thing was just weird because I started dating. So I'm twenty nine now, but I started dating my husband at sixteen, so at that time there were a lot of like shenanigans and hijinks that happened before that.

What kind of shenanigans and hijinks?

Oh my gosh, it was just a whole world of shenanigans and hyjinks, which again makes me happy that I got to do all those fun things and end up being happy and settled.

Now, so you guys were so you've been dat You've been with your husbands for like thirteen years. Yes, okay, Rock and Roll. Is it going well?

It's going really well. Yeah, we just had our three year wedding anniversary.

Congratulations. Wait what was the revenge?

Oh, the revenge was basically stealing him back from someone, like the take.

Back, stealing him back from someone.

Yes, when we were sixteen, tell me that story. So that was I'm happy that we're talking about this. Actually, I'm sure I need to talk about this for a while. But that was just a very very very boring person, and all in all, it ended up not being a super happy or exciting situation for him. So he came back and it was really it was really wonderful and it ended up being such a happy thing.

I don't know if that's necessarily revenge or steal happiness is I don't like. I mean, I'll make the same observation that the other guy. I don't like the idea of you stole him or he was someone. I don't know, it's just it just feels possessive.

Oh no, come on, I would never interrupt you. I feel really bad. I'm listening.

You just said not to interrupt. You can interrupt me. I don't care. It doesn't matter.

That's very sweet. But no, I feel like I definitely stole his.

Heart like you took it by force.

No, No, I don't think because he's one of those people that just does not do stuff that he doesn't want to do. Also, which is good.

Okay, in what way do you believe you stole his hearts?

I feel like because of all of the theatrics and again some of the things that we've talked about leading up to there could have been so many times where I didn't steel his heart and he still is here, which is happy.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. I hope. I mean, look, thirteen years, you've probably ironed out all the kinks by now.

Yes, there's always a new one.

But are you guys gonna have a kid or something?

You know, I have no idea. People always ask that, though, do you want kids?

I think I do. Actually, it's funny that you know you guys started dating? Was he he was? He also sixteen? Yes, Okay, it's funny I started dating when you were sixteen. Because when I go live on TikTok, like I get there's a lot of like younger people that are like type in the chat like I'm on to college and with my boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever. And I always tell them I'm like, I mean, I don't know, shit, I'm a dumb green guy. But I always feel like sixteen

Kind of expected that, So you're totally right.

I'm totally right.

Yes, yeah, because I couldn't have expected that at sixteen that that was going to happen.

Well, it worked out for you.

Yes, yeah, it's just funny to look back at.

It's like, oh, do you feel.

As though you got lucky? Well listen, Mariah, Yes, thank you so much for calling in and uh and sharing with us.

Oh my gosh, I'm so happy I got to talk to you.

Of course you ever want for leaves me?

Oh you as well.

Bye all from ja.

Ja.

Hey Gock, what.

Do you think about investing in Hamburgers.

And not doing I mean, I mean, as long as you're getting two patties for one dollar, that's a good deal.

Well I is? I mean I think so right, I mean the logic makes sense.

Yeah, you're literally getting too cheaper on a singular bun. I am actually not at all surprised that we are talking right now.

You're not? Why not?

Because I called you?

What's your name?

Jay?

Jake?

Jake? Jhy Kay?

Have we spoken before? Jay?

No? No, No, longtime lurker, first time calling forty times in one night.

Well, holy hell, Jay, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. How are you doing man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, God, I'm doing good. I'm in therapy right now.

You're in therapy, right in therapy right now.

Right now, I'm talking to a therapy gocko.

Well you're in you're in therapy, gecko, which is you know, a far different from therapy. But you know, we can talk about bugs and shit. Hey, listen, what's Jake?

J Yeah?

I meant, I.

Mean, what's the Jay? What's the worst thing you've ever done in your entire life?

I mean, I'm a petty asshole. I got I got revenge stories. So I can give you one that's sexual nature or criminal in nature, or I can.

Give you both.

Uh, both of the Uh. I'm actually terrified to continue this conversation.

No, no, you're no liability towards any of these things.

Uh. Will the sexual revenge story be bad.

No, it's a common story that I'm surprised I haven't heard from before tonight. I mean, I'm surprised that with all the colors we had tonight, that no one has done something similar, because I feel like it's fairly common.

Well, sure, let me hear it.

Okay, So obviously, you know, when you move in with your friends and you become roommates, sometimes you become ex friends for various reasons, to make dishes in the sink, not being in bills on time. So I had an ex best friend, but I remained friends with that group of people, and I ended up sleeping with his current girlfriend at the time. So my revenge from getting thrown, you know, just dissolving this relationship of the friendship was to give revenge by sleeping with his girl at the time.

Wait? So you oh, is this real?

You?

No, this is a real story. This is a real story.

It okay, So that this doesn't make sense to me?

What?

Okay? So you for your friend has a girlfriend.

Yeah, it was an ex friend at this time. So we were friends, became ex friends, and.

And his girlfriend and then his girlfriend cheated on him with you.

Correct, correct, So again, very simple. I feel like that story should have been told a hundred times before I even called in. I feel like I'm not the only one who's enacted that type of revenge.

Kay uh.

I don't know what, why? Why did you do this? I don't understand what what was your motive in?

I feel that half of it was our primal nature to reproduce and have sex with other, you know, humans on this planet. But the other half was motivated by spite, therefore making it revenge sex. The other one that I have is a little bit more wholesome in nature. So when I was in high school, I was a little bit you know, do.

You still talk to this friends?

No?

No, no, no, Like I said, it's an it's an X. It's an expenst right, we weren't friends at the time. If we were friend at the time, I would never sleep with this girl. But I was an acting revenge. The theme of the night what.

Do you do?

You still do these things? Do you still go at It.

Was about about ten years ange, it's about ten years old.

I mean ten years. Yeah, so this was ten years This was ten years ago. Looking back on it ten years later, how do you feel in retrospect about this?

I feel like I was basically like a karmic Judge Dread, you know, only with my penis instead of a gun, if that makes sense.

It doesn't make a ton of sense. But a karmic Judge Dread.

Yeah, I mean Judge Dread was Judge Durian executioner right there on the spot. I was similar to that, but instead of killing the person, I just simply slept with his girlfriend. Well, the other one's a little bit more, a little bit more wholesome. So when I was in high school, I was the weird kid. I was bullied by the jock. Classic Disney movies.

Were made by what are you now?

Now Now, I'm a well rounded, weird individual, but at the time I was slightly friendship at that moment.

So I think the I think the case could be made the year You're still a little friends sake.

I'm working on it. I'm in therapy, you know. So anyway, after you know, months and months of bullying, probably years, at this point, I said, you know what, I know where this person lives? I will enact some revenge for my mental anguish in high school. So I went over to his house and pulled the classic sugar into the gas tank, and then I put glue all over the hood of their car, and then through glitter at that glue and created an art project out of their expensive vehicle.

And again sugar in that What is sugar in the gas tank? Man?

So?

Oh, it's a less than Jake song is where the inspiration comes from. But sugar dissolves gasoline. So when someone goes to start their car, the sugar fuel throws through the fuel system and dissolves and eats all the gasoline. Sugar and gasoline reacted in a corrosive nature, so when sugar enters your gas tank. It was a very common prank back in the day. That is, it's an art form that has been lost. So it was something that I was able to, you know, kind of a little bit of bit of renaissance.

If you will, Jay, what un you would you tell you these things to your real therapist? What do they tell you?

There?

Said, that'll be three ninety nine a month and twenty five for eight dollars each session, and they tell you what you want to hear. Man, I mean, I don't know. I feel that you know, therapy is just kind of if you tell them one thing, you can almost extract the answer that you want to hear to reinforce your own bullshit. I mean you can. You can. You can guide the conversation to a point where you're going to be told what you want to hear. So therefore you

Do you think I'm doing that too?

Well? You haven't asked me for any money. I will give you my credit card number arrive over the phone right now if you'd like. But you have not asked me for anything.

Okay, No, we can, we can. We can comp this one. Well, listen, Jay, you know, I hope things continue to go well for you and uh in your in your therapy.

There's a Pleasure's a pleasure chatting with you, Lyle. I guess I'm not surprised at all that we call all right, Well we.

Have a good name.

Yeah.

Enjoyers all from.

Max Max Max gek, I'm here, You're here, I'm here?

What does it mean to be here?

Wow? You already stumped me. I didn't think it would happen this quick.

Well, here it is life. Life comes at your fast.

Max, it certainly does. Gek mm hmm.

So here we are. We're just two people on the phone with each other.

One person's in a Gecko suit and uh, I'm wearing regular clothes.

We're on a thing. You're in a Gecko. But at the end of the day, Max and I could just sort of melt away all of the external things surrounding this conversation and focused on the converse is itself. I feel like we can really sort of inhabit the same the same space.

Absolutely, we can be two brains in our link.

Max.

If you got revenge, I just recently got revenge and reverse revenge.

You got reverse revenge.

I got reverse revenge.

I have never heard of the reverse revenge. Well, let's start with the revenge revenge. How did you get okay revenge? So let's start with the wronging. What was the wronging? Initially?

The wronging was I used to do a thing called klepto clubbing, where I would go to parties and I would take something. I would steal something from their house, like something strange like barbecue, like players or like where I go into the fridge and take the cranberry juice, Like just weird shit. And so my friends started to catch on to that. So we were at a party at the radio station I worked at and someone had stolen a girl's Harley Quinn poster.

And I I assisted with that. So that was that was the wrong he assisted?

What part? How? I feel like stealing a poster is a one person job.

It is the one person job. But if you have to.

Distract the girl while they take the poster, and you know that she has feelings for you, you know, not exactly right?

Okay, So did you I mean, did you get a cut of the poster? Did you get like a pigtail? Maybe a corner?

Uh?

No, I had, I had no interest in it.

You play, you play the game.

Yeah, I was playing the game for the love of the sport.

Gotcha.

So it was like two years ago that they had That happened so recently.

I had ended up dating the girl. We broke up, and then I remember it like, oh yeah, they stole that.

So what I did is I snuck into their house and I stole the poster back and I returned it to the girl.

So that was the reverse revenge.

Interesting. See, Okay, that's that took a different turn because when you said you you said you got reverse revenged. I thought it meant you got revenge on someone and then they got revenge on you for your revenge. But you actually literally reversed.

Your revenge I did.

But hold on, now, so you stole you stole a poster and you gave it back.

Uh yeah, it kind of in a way.

Sure, I mean but I assisted in stealing the.

Poster, and then I stole the poster back and then returned it.

So there was like three stealings.

But what was stealing the poster revenge for?

Oh? She was just being she was being shitty to everyone.

You know, what was what was your main beef with her?

She was just shitty to people in the group.

So people in the group.

Yeah, Like I worked at a radio station and there were there's you know.

So okay, So if this person was shitty to you and you wanted to enact revenge by stealing one of their things, why the change of heart? Why did you eventually give it back?

I don't know.

I think I just had the realization of like, that's kind of fucked up, not in a huge way, but it was something that I knew I could do to set a couple of things right before you.

Know, I leave, okay, charmatically, karmatically, I wanted things in balance.

But I mean, you're gonna have to kind of do a little bit of a My name is Earl here because I mean it sounds to me like this was not an isolated incident. You said you are a in your words, you said klepto thief.

Clepto. Yeah, sure, you said.

You were aklecto thief like you've probably. I mean, so you have an extent of history of stealing things. So you're kind of have to going to go back if you really want to balance yourself out chromatically, you actually have to. I helpe you cut track of all of your your heist because you're gonna have to go re.

I guess I buy some more cranberry juice.

Yeah, yeah, well listen, good luck on that journey.

All right, thanks, Gek. I'll do it.

Of course. You have a good name.

Yeah, all from Joe.

Joe.

How's it going, Gek?

You know Joe that rhymes yeah, it.

Does a lot of stuff rhymes with Joe.

It's a good name.

Can you name ten things that rhyme with Joe right now off the top of your head?

Uh flow, go bro brow.

Crow, drows not a word?

Drow?

All right?

Is not a word? D r o w.

D r o like droe like weed?

Sure?

All right?

Well, what's going on? I got a good good revenge.

That's only we need six more words that rhyme with Drew. What's your name again, Joe? Six words around with Drew? I mean that round with Joe?

Uh blow crow, mo toe frow uh blow?

Is that sick?

Low?

He said low?

I said, grow and glow.

We've spent so much time on this, Joe. Where do we go when we die?

Man?

I'd like to find out. I mean, I'm not too eager to find out, but I'm curious as the rest of us.

You know, are you how curious? Are I feel like? Is the average person that curious?

I don't know.

I feel like everyone's got some sort of underlying curiosity, But I would say probably not. I guess the majority of people do their best to distract themselves and keep themselves from wondering what actually happens when we die?

What do you do to distract yourself from thinking about what happens when we die.

Oh shit, man, uh. I like to skateboard, I play kendoma. I like, I got a bunch of frogs that I like to, you know, play around with.

You have a you have a bunch of frogs? Like, how many frogs? I got six?

Right now? I'm trying to breed them.

You have six frogs?

Yeah, poison dark frogs.

They're you have six poisonous frogs.

Well, yeah, they're not poisonous. They're they're the poison dark frogs. So they're real colorful and stuff, but they're not poisonous because they're a bread in captivity.

So see, ready for what would happen if you were to lick one of them?

I don't think think anything would happen. I think I'd be fine. I've touched them before, I've handled them.

See.

I don't like frogs because okay, like I could pet a gecko because the gecko has dry, scally skin, but a frog is like wet.

Yeah, they're not real liked or real really easy to play with.

You know, what are you gonna do with the trying to breathe them? And what are you gonna do with them?

I don't know, man, I mean I'd like to have a whole collection of a bunch of different species and stuff. But I mean, if I get enough or if I successfully breathe them, you know, either sell them or keep them or we'll see.

Well, Joe, if you want, I'd be willing to join your collection for an observative fee.

Yeah all right, all right, Well, well I'll shoot you a message or call them whenever I whenever I get some baby frogs.

Cool, you could, you could. I haven't been neutered, so if you want to breed me, I don't know if you could bring me with one of the frogs. I don't know if that would work, but.

I don't know, get go frog interbreeding works, but we could find out.

Well, thank you so much for offering, for offering that opportunity to me, Joe, I really appreciate it.

Good.

I hope it's a once in a lifetime for you.

Yeah, me too. You have a good night.

Wait you want to hear my revenge story?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

So I worked at.

This summer camp a couple of years ago for like little kids, like third graders through fifth graders, and I was like a student teacher, basically in these in these classrooms. And there was this one class that I had to help out with all summer that was like this young Architect Builder class kind of deal where all these fucking third graders would get together and then I would have to assists them with like building these model houses and

What would you do to get revenge on the kid?

Well, there was like twenty kid I fucking wanted to, but uh there was like twenty kids or so in this class, and uh, I was like, you know, I mean this dude had been giving me issues, just like this wasn't the first time.

I mean he was like.

Pretty rambunctious and like you know, always just being like more than just a distraction. I mean I was a distraction. I talked to the teacher into like the head of the camp, and I was like, look, this kid's a straight up fucker, and like, is just like I didn't mention the him burning my hand on hot glue thing, and I was just like, yeah, this kid's like a bullied to other kids. He's a distraction to the class.

He like slows.

Yeah, essentially, I mean like I wouldn't consider myself to be a snitch, but I.

Got I would have booted. What I would have done is I would have you know, every kid brings their lunch into school or whatever. I would have gone into his cubby during recess or whatever, right before lunch, and I would have taken out who's peanut butter and jolly sandwich, and I would have spread a bunch of glue on it.

That would be honestly probably better revenge in getting him booted out of the class.

M hm.

Well, next time a third grader pisces you off, you know what to do.

Yeah, hopefully I don't have to deal with any fucker or third graders anymore.

So, well, thank you so much for sharing.

Joe.

You have a wonder for us to the night.

Yeah, you too, man.

How from Chris Chris, Hello, Hey, holy cow, never thought i'd get on this.

Everyone keeps calling in and then telling me that they never thought they would get on there. If you called in, then there's a chance you'll get.

On, yes, but yes, but the problem in live is that when you call, it's as if there's like you only have a very slim chance. Like you must have asked me fifteen times in the automation if what's your name? State your name? I stated it, it would ring, and then your automated voicemail would come on, and that was it.

Listen, Chris, Chris, that's all in the past. Now together you and I are in the president and I would like to hear from you have you ever gotten revenge?

You know, I actually haven't gotten revenge. I just wanted to call. And I'm not a vengeful kind of guy, you know what I mean.

I don't not a vengeful guy.

I don't seek out reasons to have revenge for somebody. Does that make sense?

Makes a little bit of sense? I mean, I think that's good.

I think it's good. I think that, you know, if somebody does me wrong or has done me wrong, for example, in my day to day at work or in personal life, I'm just the kind of guy to kind of like remneuver, restrategize, and kind of, you know, figure out a way to kind of be successful despite that situation. Does that make sense?

We got two nice people in a row who would never hurt a fly and never exact revenge on anyone.

Well, no, I would. It's just I haven't had that situation happen.

Like, for example, Well, let me ask you then something. Let me ask you that something, Chris, What would someone have to do to you to get you to be vengeful?

That's a good question. Okay, So here here's the problem with me. Okay, this is this is a good problem to have, but it's also a bad problem. You can push me, you can, you can come at me, you can talk shit about me, you can you know, talk shit behind my back. And really, I'm not going to ever get to a point where I want to wish any evil upon you or do any bad upon you.

However, well, well I'll get you there, Chris.

Yeah, you are too do anything to my family, to my friend, to somebody that I care about, or somebody that may have a disability, or somebody that is in a lesser position than you financially or in life or in health, and you are cruel to that person, then that that is a way to get anger out of me, and and that that that could be physical, or that could be just making that person's life a living help or you know, to try to teach someone.

Well, you know, Chris, you said, well, Chris, you I mean, I get you on the family, But you said that anyone who does anything bad to anyone who's less fortunate at them. And there's people doing horrible things to people who are less fortunate than them all the time every day. How are you doing anything to try to get revenge on those people? Or are you going out and getting into fistfights?

Uh?

You know, not really. I mean I'm thirty six years old now, you know, I mean those days are kind of behind me. I don't get into situations too much where physical physical altercation. I think COVID's kind of kind of done that too, Like there's not a lot of social studyings where that can happen right now, if you think about it.

Well, listen, Chris, you know I like the philosophy, and I hope that you continue to defend your family's honor.

Gek.

I appreciate everything you do. I very frequently lay in bed at night and right before I fall asleep. You're the last person I listened to. I enjoy your wisdom. I enjoy your take on life and just your general interest in other people. You're an interesting individual.

And thank you well, thank you so much, Chris. I appreciate that. Take care fight you have a good one.

Never again goes on the line taking your calls every night, ever, teaching you