PARANORMAL LUST

Hello, Hello, Tonight on Therapy Gecko, or this morning or wherever you're listening to it, or whatever time in your car. If you're listening to it at three am three pm, doesn't matter to me. Tonight Today on Therapy Gecko, stories of porn, addiction, blackmail, sleep paralysis, demons, which is mushrooms, intimacy, cats, You've got it all in more And you know what, Normally I go on a whole spiel, but I'm not feeling very speey right now. I think I think we're

Came from page page Hello.

Oh my god, I know you did it.

You're here, did it?

I called twenty times.

I'm sorry about twenty times. You called her persistence, You called with intent. It seems like it seems like you had something to say.

I had my fingers crossed. I was like, it probably won't happen, but I'm thinking by if I really put I was focusing on it, I'm happy. Oh my god, I guess I'm twenty Okay, I got a real problem.

So I was really hoping that I get you.

I got okay, I want Look and by the way, everyone knows this by now. If you're a troll in the chat, you know this. If you like the show, you know this. I'm not a real person, guy thing who does real therapy anything.

Oh no, I didn't think that.

I'm down. I mean, hit me with the thing.

Oh no, it's boy problems. It's not a real issue.

Okay, uh yeah, hit me. Let's see, let's see what happens.

I guess it comes down to I can't tell if I met this dude and he's twenty seven, he's to old for me, but well maybe not.

I don't know.

I don't know how to feel about that.

Anyway.

It took me all of.

Five seconds to be like, I would do twenty things with you. So I told him that and then he rejected me.

And wait, hold on, I'm sorry, I maybe I didn't. You said you met a twenty seven year old guy, and you told him you would do funny things with him.

Not in those particular words.

I told him.

I was like, that's what you just said.

Well, I mean that that's not what I literally said to him, was that I would do funny things to him.

I mean I would say that, but I didn't.

That's a rusty.

Okay. Continue, he.

Said no because he has this he was looking forward to this date and he was like, I think it's going to go well. And because I was drunk, and I can't remember the other reason. There were three things that he said that he said no.

But ever since then, I don't know how I feel about either of you. Could you Okay, so you like this guy? Yeah, but he's too, but he doesn't. What's what's his deal? What is the what's the point of contention?

I can't tell if he's being nice with me, just being nice to me, or and like being really friendly, or if he's like he said no in the moment and maybe this tender girl like didn't work out and he really only said no because I was drunk.

Oh if he said if he said no, then move on.

Yeah. I mean, so he's a friend of a friend and I hang out with that the friends and I see him, and.

How often do you see it? We all have we all have to hang out with I mean, we've all had a thing like that where there's a person that there was a weird thing with that remains in the friend group. But I don't think you're doing yourself any favors by holding out hope. I mean, if you really want to date people, you know, well, first of all, what do you what do you got going on out side of your dating life?

I was about to leave for basic training for the Air Force, and I really I don't I don't have feelings for people like this often at all. So I was really hoping That's why I said I wanted the first thing that I said about the funny things during the attempt, because you caught my attention, the first person to catch my attention and quite a while, and then I only I got a month to go and you know, a last last hurrah kind of.

So I mean I was basically looking through to make me say that you know what I mean?

Okay, yes, but can you not what can't you do that? At the Air Force? Do they kick you out?

Well, I'm gonna gonna be dry for two months and I've already been.

I it's been.

We'll go to the club.

But it's as as a girl.

Oh my god, that shit isn't whenever I want, usually first got to reject me since in high.

School it sucks, so then be then to deal with that, Well you gotta then then that's actually this is a good experience for you. This is a first person that's ever rejected you.

Well, I mean, I'll put myself out there like that that often, and when I do, I'm like, already damn sure that.

I mean, like.

It don't sound arrogant, but I'm kind of cute, you know, like anime nerd wet dream because I'm short and part Asians.

It's true.

I think you should go. I think you go to the Air Force. You put one hundred percent of yourself into doing Air Force ship hopping through old spare tires and getting mud in your face and you know, developing mental stress. Just a little immerse yourself into it. Stop thinking about I mean, this is what I would tell a guy too, you know, stop thinking about sex for two months and just immerse yourself in what you're doing. And don't this. I hate this twenty seven year old guy.

Him me too.

Don't even don't even think about him. Just go go to training, immerse yourself in that, and then when you're done, you know, go wild, do what you gotta do. But for now, focus on what's in front of you.

Thanks.

I probably needed to hear that. I'll try and take that in for sure.

What'd you say? Your name was, Paige? Well page, you have a good night and your good luck do it stopping through the tires. I've seen like one movie about the army and that's all I know, So good luck doing the things that I saw in that movie.

All right, Thanks, I love it.

I'll talk to you soon.

Bye.

Come from Jonathan.

Jonathan. Hello, Hello Jonathan.

Hi loo, how are you?

You know? I'm all right, Thank you for asking.

No problem, no problem.

You know, not a lot of people ask what were we gonna say?

I'm just you know, ignoring cause from my ex girlfriend, just so I can talk to you about a problem that I had even during the relationship with her.

You know, all right, we can actually shortcut this real quick because I think right there is the I think everything when people everything that I would tell you is to tell everything that you're about to tell me to her.

No no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with her, Like, this is more of a problem that I have with myself. I guess. Let me just like get straight to it. So I have an insane masturbation problem, Okay, Like I find myself constantly like I'll wake up in the mornings and then I'll just get a strong urge just too masurbate, and then I'm coming at least three to five times a day, like minimum, and sometimes even more, like sometimes

Yeah, your your overall sexual your overall libido is higher, so you're you're masterbaking even more. But here here's my okay. First of all, three to five, I mean you said three to five minimum.

Minimum, minimum minimum, it goes beyond that, Like, that's just like the for me.

I mean, I'm less concerned with the frequency of the masturbation as I am with what does is the masturbation interfere with other aspects of your life? How is it affecting you? Because look, I mean I don't know what you do in your life. If you're like, if you're if you're ignoring the outside world to go masturbate, if your mom has called, if whatever, your parents are calling you down for dinner, and you're like, I can't because

Okay, so it's mainly just affecting. Like I think it honestly had a huge part to play with with like my like my past relationship, like I said, and I think it was the main cause of why I wanted to like leave that relationship. I felt like, Okay, I'm looking at all these girls that I'm watching on like like important and stuff, and I'm like, Okay, you know, these girls are like very attractive, most of them are attractive.

You know?

When I was in the relationship, am I satisfying my partner? Like, And it was a constant like just like questioning that I just kept question myself and I would even I would ask my partner, like my my ex, I'd be like, you know, am I enough? And she'd say yes, and even then it wasn't enough to reassure myself that like that it was that I was enough and stuff, you know, because you just like watch all these porn stars and then they have like just really large jesuses and it's

Know, totally, Yeah, I mean, I'm glad that you told I'm glad that you told us all that because that's that kind of thing is more what I think you should be focusing on than just arbitrary number of how often you're you're masturbating so you don't feel you feel like you watch Well, also, where are you watching porn?

Yeah.

Look, look, this is the thing though, I've been watching porn for a really long time, and he gets boring. It really does, like just you know, like normal like like girl guy, it gets boring. So I've moved on from normal like nothing and nothing crazy, but I watch like just pure hen tie and like just gay porn. And I'm not like gig, I promise you, like.

Wait, you've been watching gay porn just to spice it up, even though you're not.

Gay exactly, and it like, I'm not trolling, just so you know, like people are saying in it said that I'm trolling. I promise you I'm not, but like, I don't know, I like it just it's more interesting than just watching regular porn.

So okay, So I mean when you're in the territory of now I'm kind of curious when you're in the territory of you're watching gay porn to spice things up, is yeah? I mean at that point, are you even titillating the same senses as you were? Like is it even sexual if you're not? I mean, are you I mean are you are you attracted to men?

I mean I don't think I am like genuinely like saying because I'm on, I'm on the phone with you, like you don't know who I am, and I would tell you literally anything in this like moment, I'm not afraid like to say anything, but like I genuinely don't think I am gays. Okay, Okay, So it's just like I feel like it's just an aspect or a way to spice it up, because I just I've been masturbating for so long, and I've been like watching porn for so long, and it just got so boring that I

You know. I would love to this is this is what I would love to hear, Like what have you so have you talked to like a real therapist about this?

I've never never Are my mom's doing that? My no? No, because okay, so I'm I'm pretty young, like I'm I'm eighteen, so it's hard for me like to do stuff like that without like consulting like my parents. I guess about it.

And are you in college?

Yeah, I'm in college.

And you can check and see if you can, like go to your colleges like counseling service and ship and find someone. I understand why you don't want to, Like, I'm sorry, were you about to say, have you talked to your parents about this?

I'm assuming no, no, No, that's something I don't think I would ever do, honestly, like talk to my page. Like I think my mom, for sure, she knows like that about my sex life, Like she's just cool about it and stuff. But it's not like I go into detail about it. But she doesn't know this aspect of what I'm doing, you know, in my own free time. But she's known that I have sex and I've like done stuff like that.

But it's just right.

But what you're talking about, I feel like, is I mean, unless if you know, I mean, if you're I think it'd be one thing if you know, maybe you're you're you're further to the gay side of the spectrum than you originally thought. But that it doesn't seem like that's what's going on. It seems like you're trying to like you might have like a I think this is like an addiction.

Yeah exactly, I think it is, honestly, And it's just like I feel like I can't really just get enough. But at the same time.

Oh, oh no, you're right.

Oh shit, it's said call failed.

But I guess the Yeah, okay, weird we did.

Wait where was I.

You were talking about? Fucking fuck what we're talking about?

Hmm?

Oh you said we were talking about how this is probably in an addiction.

Yeah, exactly. But I feel like it's spreading onto something like much more since I'm just exploring different things. I guess it's it's just a way for me to kind of experiment, I guess with things that I might like and might not like. And I feel like, but you weren't phrasing you like that.

You weren't phrasing it as like you were experimenting. You were phrasing it as if you have exhausted every frickin' uh everything else, and so now you're moving on. You didn't really didn't. You didn't phrase it as if you were like, oh, this was cool. Now I'm gonna try this. Now I'm gonna try this.

You know, you're right, You're right, You're right. So it is it's like that, like I just I got tired of just regular like cliche porn, you know, and I just I don't know. It was just something about like I guess just how long it's been since I've been watching for because I've been watching porn since I was like, I don't know, twelve eleven. Maybe I used to, you know what, I used to masturbate too. I used to

Like regardless, yeah, you need you sort of feel like you I get very confirm you feel like you need a goal in mind that you're working towards as you try to stop.

And when I can't find it, I just say, you know what, fucky Like I'm yeah, then why not? And that's exactly what happens. And then I end up just going back. And it's just like it's a cycle, like I've tried stopping, and now it's been I want to say, it's been like more than half a year or so since I've gone on an actual break, like on a break longer than a day, and it's just like so constant, and I was really like wondering, how am I gonna

So too, would you be willing to do exactly what you just did for all of us but to an actual therapist.

To an actual therapist, I feel like.

I mean, I mean, I know that this is anonymous and it's way different when you're talking to a therapist, of course, but would you would you? I mean because a therapist who was like trained in like a therapists are able to actually give you, you know, sort of better. You know, there's a whole there's a whole science to addiction that, Yeah, you should look into or work with

Stupid right now?

Because of like COVID and everything, I think everything is over the phone or like through zoom calls, so it might be a little bit easier like that. And I honestly think I probably would do it since I don't really have to like go and see somebody physically, and I don't even think I need a zoom call or anything. I just can be over the phone like how it is and how. But I think legit, I could probably

Yeah, I think that that would be what you should do next. But I mean this, I'm glad that you you know, and also you did because everyone thought that you were trying whenever people talk about this, I don't care whether or not controlling, but you know it was. It was good that you were able to sort of talk out your issue a little bit, so you have a better idea of what you would want the therapist to know when you go in to talk to them.

Yeah, of course, of course. Well I think honestly, I've gotten everything that I needed out of my chest and I won't take any more of your time. But I really appreciate what you said, and I will look into talking to someone because this is something that I definitely want to like turnover, I guess. But thank you for your time, Lyle.

Yeah, absolutely, man, you you have you have a good night. Would you say your name.

Was you too?

My name is Johnson.

Take care of Jonathan.

You have a good night, you too, have a good night. Thank you.

All from you, Lissa, k.

You Lissa, Hi. Have you ever had a vision you, Lissa?

I had multiple visions before you've.

Had multiple visions. Wait, let me ask you something. Okay, what year were you born?

Nineteen ninety nine?

All right, what have you had visions about?

Okay? So when I was sak, I was having a birthday party, right. And this is a funny situation because my birthday party was happening in front of my actual house, so right across the street. You know the picture I'm painting here.

So yeah, two places that are across from each other.

Correct.

So I go to my house to check on my mom because she's still getting ready. My dad had just left to buy some beer because like adults getting drunk at a children's party, right, And so as I'm walking across the street towards my mom, I see this guy standing and he looks exactly like my dad, holding a present, and he's waving at me, telling me to cross the street. But I'm like, this isn't adding up because my dad

It's a mystery, hallucinating hallucination.

Man, yep, who.

Do you what?

Do you?

What do you think? Who do you think they were?

I don't know, I have no idea. But as I've grown older, I've had free prowesses and I've seen the same man in my sleep prowessies.

You know, this is the beginning of a very interesting romance novel.

Oh my gosh, that's kind of hot. That's cute?

Is so that? I mean, this man do you you know?

Do you think you might be No, you're right, he's kind of old. No, no, no, no, no, you're right. He's kind of old. And I at once thought it was my dad.

So never mind.

But you said it was hot, k. Yeah that.

When you put it in a romantic aspect. I'm just gonna you.

Know, I'm like, oh my god, ya, but that this man that looks like your father.

That might not be real, but I've seen I've seen him in my sleep prownsis. I'm like, I know, this is just something I've made up. Like, you're not gonna get into my head. There's something that I've lived with. My friends don't believe me, but this is something I've seen.

What do you think he wants?

I don't know. I wish I knew.

I wish I knew because he attacks.

Ah, different times, he said he attacks. Yeah, so you look at his visits as attacks.

Yes, I do.

I feel attacked.

Hmm.

So this is you don't have pleasant experience? Have you ever had a pleasant experience with this man? But does he only bring terror?

No?

No, no, only terror? Like one time during my sleep promises, I saw him on top of me. It's like choking me. As I stared him, said eyes, this is the scariest thing. Yeah, right, at first you're like hot, but then it's just scary. It's just scary, all right.

So at first this man that looks like your father on top of you choking you was hot and then at what point?

Okay, those are two different instances, do not Those were two different instances. First he showed up like my dad, just making sense. First he showed up as my dad, you know, trustworthy. But then as I grew older, he just became scarier and scarier.

Do you think? Okay, but is he changing or is your perception of him changing? Is his appearance that is staying the same?

It's just an older guy's just scary.

You know.

I've tried to make peace with him, like I've tried to be like, you know, we can be fun, you know, maybe I can enjoy this, but I haven't succeeded.

Does he talk?

Do you?

Do?

You?

Are you?

Have you had a conversation with him?

No?

But I've tried.

What what? What do you what? What? What have you asked him? What have you tried to talk to him about?

I just like call out like hey, hey, you know, I'm just like you, and he doesn't. He doesn't reach out. I don't ask him questions.

I'm not.

No what what do you think he wants?

Though?

I don't know. I wish I knew.

Him, ask him what he wants.

Okay, you're still right, You're still right. Well, what if like the house that i'm in, his haunted? Like, what if it's just a presence because he doesn't follow.

Me around, he doesn't follow you? What do you mean does it follow you?

Like?

I haven't seen him and had slee promises at any other house.

Only at your house? Okay, so it's only when you're sleeping in your house?

Correct?

So he probably lives the spirit probably lives in your house, so I have to move only if you don't. Yo, wait all right, because if this was a if was like a young adult romantic novel or something like that, I don't know how on board you are with this theory that we've talked about so far.

No, I'm on board. I'm not doing anything during quarantine, so I'm on board. I could start writing a novel.

You might have to have sex with the sleep paralysis demon.

I want to take that's a risk.

Next time, all right, If you're willing, you're all right. So you're willing, you're on board with this, is what I'm hearing.

Yeah, I am all right.

If you're on board with this. I think what you should do is, next time you see him, first ask him what he wants, okay, and then offer to have sex with him and see what he says, because he might be too shy to say it, but if you initiate it, they might make him feel a little bit more comfortable talking to you or more comfortable going there. You know, if you initiate it.

I thought, how do I just like move from bear a suedection like that?

You know, well, you can't, Well, don't force yourself to obviously, Okay, do you want.

Do you want to have sex with the sleeperhouse steaming or not?

Sorry?

What do you do?

You want to have sex with the sleeperhouse steaming?

I do?

Then then then I think it's worth pursuing as an option.

You're right, this is like a point of view that I have never seen before. So I'm gonna try it because that's right. Everything else when the seam.

Works, well, thank you.

Absolutely, you know, let let let us.

Know how it goes, okay, hopefully hopefully successful because it's like turning into a toxic relationships.

Mm hmm.

And yeah, I mean you guys will have to. I mean, look, it might be a little lot. I mean, it might be awkward now, it might it might make it worse. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, why let me But what if? But what if you have sex with him and then it gets and then it gets like awkward now when he when he haunts you and ship.

Mm hmm.

So you're running that risk, but it might also be your solution.

I don't know.

I just I think you need to. You need to. You're at a point with this where you need to take massive action here, and I think that that's a good way to do it. And I want you, I want you to go try that. I want you to report back to us.

Okay, I will.

Ulyssa, ulyssa.

Thank you for calling in and and and good luck in your sleep tonight.

Okay, thank you, goodbye, good night to all.

Hey.

Yeah, I lost the beginning of the audio for this call. But these two guys are named Seamus and Kyle, and they have called in before. And that's that's pretty much all you need to know. All right, cool, all right, le's get into it. What's up?

Oh?

This is great. We've been we've been waiting since forever, honestly.

Yeah, what have you been doing? Uh in the me in the time since you've been waiting.

Well, we've been working, working hard, like working people.

Yeah, both got uh both got us some jobs. Right now we're uh, we're drinking, and you've.

Got a job between now and the time that.

No, no, no, no, we've had jobs.

So we have had work.

We both had work.

Yeah, you two seem like you have very interesting jobs.

We do.

I'm actually a car salesman. Are my best to sell as many Toyota cameras as I can?

I want in to Toyota dealership.

Can you pitch me on on why I should buy a Toyota camera?

Well, the car isn't It doesn't be sold itself because you already know why A You're walking yourself into the dealership, coming in for a quality camera that's going to get you from point A to point B is safely and it's as smoothly as possible.

Right, But if but wouldn't it? I feel like it would be the test of a master salesman. I mean, I have no interest in buying a car, and I feel like it would be a good test if you could convince someone who I mean sure, you know anyone could convince someone who wants to buy a thing to buy a thing? Is that someone who doesn't want to buy a thing at all?

We'll get to be honest with you. It's Friday night. I'm already a little bit too fucked up to be answering that question. Yeah, I've already kind of left the office not too worried about that bullshit. My boss is a prick though his name is Rick. Really got me on my feet these last couple of days.

Yeah, yeah, gotcha. What's what's what's what's Rick having?

You do.

That's fishing you off.

Man.

He's just got me out on the sun lately. Like it's been hard as fuck we down here in Texas. It's hard as fuck down here. He got me standing in the parking lot waiting for people to come in. You know, I got to be the salesperson. Hey, what can I do for you guys? You guys are looking for a new car. You know I've got to do all this bullshit. Ricks the Prick, You're absolutely right, Rick the Prick.

Yeah, what you gotta do?

Wait?

What does Rick do? Does Rick hang out in the fucking air conditioned the law.

Jack?

Listen, I've met I've met this guy before.

All he does is he sits in his fucking office on his bad ass in his little rollie chair, and he just bosses everyone around. He'll he'll come out, He'll come out like every hour. I'll go up there, you know, I'll visit him on the days and I'm not working, you know, bring him, bring him some lunch, you know, hang out with him on his on his brakes and uh yeah, I just I see Rick coming in. He's bitching at me, you know, telling me to leave him alone.

No, Rick's No, Rick's definitely a huge cunt. But but luck, I mean he's probably he's there for a reason. He's probably really good at selling cards.

No, I haven't seen him sold ship since the time I've been there. I got transfer from the other location. He hasn't sold jack ship. He just sits in the off eat the goddamn subway footlong every goddamn day. Every day, I'm talking. He gets the meatball sub too. He's a real filthy, dirty scumbag mhm.

And subs are definitely the food choice of a villain.

Oh yeah, now, but we we're uh, we're actually thinking about getting Rick fired because we have a we have a little bit of dirt on him.

Oh yeah, what what uh? What you got?

Yeah?

Well, after hours one day he made me stay late and I was cleaning up my office. I actually saw him roll into the back parking lot. He came back with some thoughts from this and that. I know you're probably not too familiar with that street, but it's it's a real family street in Houston. It's real, real fun at night, get all the uh the excitement that you could ask for. We actually, uh he actually caught.

Him after hours bringing in prostitutes from this and it into the office. I swear swear he has videos. He has video footage. He recorded it on his phone.

It's like shit footage.

But because it like it was at night and like a lot of the light's rot. But he was saying after work, filling out paperwork and this and that, like just tidying up because I don't know Rick, the prick was just making him. He just boxed him around whatever, right, And uh, I think he thought he left right because he was just cleaning his office up after he finished like all the paperwork and whatnot. And he sends me a video of Rick coming in through the back door with like three hookers.

Just it was an unbelievable an there's no way that lot no less. Yeah, but he's probably got him well because I was duffed under the desk and the lights were already turned off, you know, because I saw the prick pull into the office in the back. So I was like, Oh, some m's coming, we gotta check who this is.

And what do you know?

It's loan behold Rick.

How do you know that they were hookers?

Oh?

The way that they were dressed, they're real skimpy clothes were barely on, and uh, they just look like the type of dirty thoughts that you get off the dish from that. There were not no quality process issues that you pay top dollar for. Believe me.

Believe me, yeah, there is There's no way that those were like his his nieces or some shiit like those those were those were one of prostitutes. He wasn't, you know, bringing in the kiddos to be like, oh, come check out the come check out.

The office after hours.

Nah, he was.

He was going in there to bang three hookers.

That's right, that's right, cup of confusion, small bick Rick.

All right, So what's your plan? How are you going to use this to your advantage?

This happened about a week ago, so we've been kind of just discussing what we can do.

I was thinking that I was going to go to the district, the district GM, maybe go to corporate, see what we can do maybe get him in place, just get him out of my location. I'm not really a big Fanima, or you're.

Not trying to, but so so yeah, okay, I want to hear the ore.

Okay, so the ore here is blackmail. Just make a rick our pitch, Just make.

Him our bits like.

I don't I don't work I don't work there myself. I don't work there myself.

But we can.

You know, obviously I'll assist him and you know, making his his prick boss, you know, his little little whore.

But I don't know. I you know what, I think you'd be better off going with the first off because the second option you have to, like, what if he retaliates in some way? What if the they find out that you knew, the higher us find out that you know, and then you got it's too much, it's it's it's too messy. I think you just get him out of there, get him out, you know, never deal with whatever again. You don't even want to be around this guy. You mean, if he's your.

Bitch, exactly, what do you what do you do with trash? Mister gek? You take it out, You don't just push it to the side and let the next guy, deal with this.

Take it out. I agree.

I think you got Rick exactly.

M hm.

So that's just what I've been up to these past couple days in real stressful day at work.

How about you yourself, what have you been up to?

You know, not much, man, I've just been you know. You know, I'm in India right now.

Oh that's very fun, but I see it.

Listen, guys, thank you for calling in and giving us that update. And you know, tell let us know what happened ends up happening with Rick.

Oh we will.

We'll be calling back absolutely. I'll talk to you guys soon, of course.

You stay safe. Mister G will give you an update.

We'll give you an update soon on the Rick situation.

We'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Absolutely, And you know, look, if you want to send me that video, you know, just so I can look go overage, so I can maybe have more perspective on the situation.

We got to you know, hit me up, no problem, alright.

Let you guess.

Man.

Hey there, this is Lyle and I'm here to say that I do not have a sponsor for this episode, but if you do feel like supporting the show, the best way to do so is by signing up for the Patreon on patreon dot com slash lyle Forever. Patreons get access to exclusive streams. On November first, I'm gonna be doing some therapy gecking on omegle just for the patreons. They also get access to the Gek Legends discord Server,

Peace.

All from Wednesday?

Wednesday? Wednesday, Wednesday? Yeah, could you do me a favor? Yeah, what what are you doing right now? Wednesday?

Laying on the floor?

Well, how does that feel.

Good? Something about laying on the floor feels very good.

Do you prefer the floor to you know, the bed?

Not always, but sometimes it's just like a nice reset.

Yeah, totally, totally.

No.

I have had moments where like, you know, when you can't sleep and you're like, well fuck it, why as well go on to go to the floor?

Yep?

Yeah, when's they can ask you a question?

Yeah?

Man, have you ever had a vision?

Dude? That's why I called.

Hit me Wednesday.

Okay, okay, stay with me.

I'm with you. I never left.

I I've always had this theory that I'm a witch. Okay, So a couple of times I've thought about people and then that day I learn that they're dead. Should I continue?

Yes?

Okay? So like one time there was this there was this young girl on vine. Her name was Emma, not Emma, I think Emma Greer. She went by Greer mostly. She had cancer. I followed her for a long time. Knew she had cancer, you know, but she was doing okay. Kind of kind of fell off of her for a minute, and then one day I just randomly thought about her, and I like went to her Instagram and she had died that same day.

Who's the other one?

I was like in class just talking to my friends about my grandpa because he was really weird. I was just telling him lots of stories about him. One time he ran into a steak and shake with his car, and I like, I like telling that story because that's funny. Shit. We were just talking about him whatever whatever, And then I go home in that day, my dad is like,

And then same day, no, non, he died.

And so because of these you think you're a witch or that you might be a witch.

Well, okay, this is where this is where it's going to fall off, and everyone's gonna think I'm.

Was that by insane?

Oh sorry, this is where it's gonna fall off, and everyone's gonna think that it's crazy. But I have had two boyfriends who I've gotten messy breakups with, and both of them, within like a week after us breaking up, have wrecked their cars.

So you're making me like scared to talk to you. I'm scared, Like what now I feel like something's going to happen to me.

No, don't worry, I won't manifest it. I think I think that's the problem.

Well hold on now, Well now I'm a little Now I'm a little freaked out, because what do you mean you won't ma, does that.

Mean no, no, no, no Nocause you're.

Saying you won't manifest, it implies that you have some control over this.

No, that's that's my fear. That's my fear is I just think of these things that might just happen. But so then you don't have controls.

You can't promise me anything.

So I also have a really bad OCD. So if I just I've convinced myself, if I just do my OCD stuff, then you won't die. So tonight I'll just do my OCD stuff and you're all good.

But my back is going to be ripped in half tomorrow, I could tell.

No, no, all right, gotcha, it's all good energy. I really, me and the universe really vibe now more than I think we used to. Uh, I think you're okay, But do you think I'm a witch or or I don't know, like I don't know, maybe a god?

Do you? Well? I mean, okay, say you're a god. Right, Yeah you said okay, so you but you have this thing I could tell just now. Being a god does not excite you. No, you seem you'd see it seems like a like a like a chore to you to be a god.

Yeah it sounds exhausting, it does.

It sounds so exhausting.

Yeah, I can being human is a lot.

I'm still I'm very scared of that.

You know, I think it's I mean, I think it's are.

Going to get a pails on the sword.

I think about people all the time, right, yeah, so, and.

This is the person I'm Here's if you think about people all the time and then they don't die, you have thought about more people that have then not died than you have thought about people that.

Have died, right, So it could all be coincidence. But like you have.

Stronger for it all being coincidences, then you then you have not.

I don't. It's obviously a theory that's off the rails. So I'd like to rate it in with some logic.

Okay, hit me with the logic.

Well, I guess the logic would be that you know, it is only just probably coincidence, and that we're actually very significant in a very small blip in the world, and the universe is not taking my thoughts and putting them into actions so much as to you know, remove someone from their human shell and kill them and release their soul. It's not doing that for me.

So do you have any logical reasoning as to why you might in favor of you being a witch slash god.

Witch slash god. I feel like are far apart. I don't think I'm definitely not a god. That was more of a joke because that's the opposite of every way see myself.

But right, but you will have to see yourself. But I think whether or not you whether or not you see yourself as a god, does in affect whether or not you are a god.

Well don't you think gods know they're gods? Isn't that part of being godly? Being on nippet or whatever?

I don't know. Do you think God spends a lot of time like jerking himself off about the fact that he's God or do you think he's like because I mean, like we said, you know, it's hard, he might he might hate it.

Yeah, well, I mean the Christian God, even God rested right on the seventh day. But then you have like Greek gods, and they love themselves, they knew, they knew what they were compared to mortals.

So if you were a god, so okay, so we've established if you are a god, you're not one of those shitty little pos or Greek gods. You're the real deal, because the shitty poser gods all love themselves, but real god no hates his job.

No. I think Greek gods are cool as hell, but not one's better or worse. But there seems to be a difference. But they all seem to know the power they wield.

All right, Well, okay, the witch though, do you have any logical reasoning as to why you might be a witch?

I mean, I'm sort of into that side of spirituality, but I've never like cast it a spell or anything like that.

Do you have anything besides these two people dying that might lead you to believe you you're a witch?

Well, like I said, my two boyfriends I thought very angrily about, and then bad things happened to them. And it was only the boyfriends that I had like messy breakups with, not like the nice ones.

Anything else.

No. I mean I could go off into more like like actual wacky shit, but I do go to real therapy, and I know that that's actually wacky shit. If I went off on that.

Do you want I know you don't want to be a god. Do you want to be a witch?

I don't know. I think it'd be kind of cool, And witches aren't necessarily they're like not normally bad people, right, Like I hear that they're like actual witches, look down upon, like casting negative spells and.

Watch of the West. And there's the Witch of the who's like the good witch. So you could be like the Witch of the East.

Yeah, but I don't want to be blonde in a big dress in a bubble.

Well, you don't have to be exactly her. You don't have to be blonde to be good.

Well, I mean, like, I call myself Wednesday.

And uh, that's not your name.

It's my middle name. But I don't use my first name on the internet for some reason. But dope, dope privacy.

So it's all about baby, and my real first name is Lyle.

Well, you just expose yourself there.

My middle name is. The thing that I'm doing right now is not funny. Can you continue with what you were saying?

Well, I mean you kind of got me up track with the with the bad jokes.

I know, I did. I fucked this up? Should we? I think we kind of do? I think we can rap?

All right, We're good.

We're good here, Wednesday. You know what, I'm pretty I'm confident that I'm not gonna die.

I'm confident.

Do you you know, look, if you're about to flip a light switch on and off twelve times, and open and close a folding chair four times, and stop your feet and clap your hands, you know you don't have to do that stuff for me. I'll I'll be fine either way. But I I appreciate the sentiment.

Yeah, no, that was mostly a joke. I'm I'm I'm doing better on that stuff. But I would have done. I would have done. I would have done a little of CD tech for you, just a little one, all right.

Maybe maybe fill a fill a bathtub with water and then train it immediately after.

Could you do that?

Uh, that's a lot of work. I was just gonna go, like go like lock the front door again.

Yeah that's fine too.

Not the train not worth it. But you know I didn't want to effort, so that all right? All right, gick, this.

Is great absolutely, same time next week, I'll be there.

I'll be there. I'll let you know. Since I started watching you, I've watched you consistently. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I'm here ten pm.

Happy, I'll feel your omnipotent godly presence.

Yes, thank you, all right, Greg, love you.

Love you too. Good night, Wednesday.

Bye all from Jake.

Two.

Jake, Hi, what's what What's what's what's what's Jake?

And Jake, Well, I'm having some intimacy issues. I was hoping we could walk through that tonight.

All right, Where where do we begin?

Jake?

Well, Uh, to be honest, it's my cat. He's been giving me the stink guy for a few days now. It gets real friendly with my roommates, but when it comes to me, he just has no love.

You know, So your cat doesn't like you?

No?

Uh?

Wells as to what I'm most okay, I'm curious mostly about what about what it is? What is it about the situation that is causing you to file it under intimacy issues?

Okay, So when we're alone, he doesn't have a problem, you know, coming up, cuddle in.

Give him some pets, you know, let him know I love him.

But when my roommates are home, he's cold and distant and he doesn't show me love. It acts like I'm not there. And I just want to know what I can do to reach him and get him to be comfortable with intimacy around my roommates.

You know what's funny is and we I mean, look we have. Like, we've all had friends like that, right, who act different when other people are around, you know, Right, But and if you if this was your friend, I would say that you should talk to them. But a cat, Now we're getting into super like this is something I am even less qualified to do, which is train animals.

You are an animal though, M right.

All right with your cat? Yeah, but your cat is your cat just probably likes other people better than he likes you. Well, what's your relationship like with your cat? Are you're kind to your cat?

Absolutely?

I mean I feed him as much as I can, I change his litter box, right, you know, we have a pretty standard human cat relationship.

And.

It's just kind of sad that he can't show that to my roommates.

You know, what I think is the it might be happening here is you know, as you've said, you've had a fairly standard human cat relationship, right, Yeah, and so maybe maybe your cat loves you, right, But when your friends come over, he's just so excited. He's excited to be in the presence of someone new for a change. I mean, you're the only person he ever interacts with, so when your friends are over, you know, I mean, he spends all day. I mean, okay, this could just

Me, right, You can really only get comfortable with people that he is around often, Like my girlfriend, they get along famously, and they're they're very intimate. Right in front of me. I think maybe he's trying to make me jealous.

You think he's going to be jealous.

You think, yeah, so.

That I pay even more attention to him when we're alone.

I mean, look, if you want to win him back, you got to find a way to spice it up a little bit, right, I mean you said that, I mean, how can you give him more than the standard human cat relationship.

This is what I just don't know. That's why I was coming to you as an animal. Maybe you have a bit more of a better perspective on this issue.

Well, what do you what do you think? What do you think your cat likes about? About your friends?

I guess they smell better. Do I smell like ship?

You might smell like ship? You know what you I mean? Why don't you do this? Why don't you get like a salmon flavored perfume, have it custom made? Douse yourself in some salmon musk?

Okay, yeah, I could try that. He's kind of a picky easier though. He only likes his his now mix. Do you want you anything else? He doesn't even like apple, He likes apple sauce.

People make some money off of this call the now mixed people. Tell them your story. See if they'll see if they'll take a little uh oh god, there's a freaking there's a freaking word for this. Uh a little tincture of like.

What is it?

What is it?

Freaking call? It's like extract. Yes, get some meal mixed extract, infuse it with a perfume of some kind. You can sell that as well. Now and so now you're gonna have a cat that that is you know, obsessed with you and also, you know, a million dollar business. Okay, I think you could make this work.

All right, Yeah, I'll I'll have to give them a call, give them a call if yeah, see if they can put something up for me, because man, I really need it. I love him so much.

I can tell, and I can tell that you're willing to fight for him.

Well, thank you so much, Jake.

Absolutely, Jake. I hope everything gets better for you, and I hope that you and your cat are able to work out your issues, and I wish you the best of luck moving forward with the perfume idea.

Awesome. Yeah, thank you so much, absolutely, Jake.

Take care, have a good night you too. He wasn't talking about trying to fuck his cat, was he. I don't think he was.

Take cat pressed one.

Awesome, Hello Austin, you gasped.

Yeah, yeah, my hundred of call. I need it. I need someone.

Yes, When you when every when you're typing into your phone and you're calling over and over again, what and every time and you get rejected? I mean, what keeps you going? What keeps you call? What is your motivation?

Honestly just my love for the get go? And I need someone to talk to.

Do you have do you have a lot of people? Do you have any Do you have people in your life that you can talk to or are you lone?

Uh? I have some people, but I feel like a gecko can give me a different outlook on things. You know?

M hmm.

What are some things you know going on with you that you feel like you know you could use another perspective on.

I'm going to be honest with you. There's a lot of things that I could work on.

All right.

Uh, I got put on the spot.

Damn, So you did just try?

I need some weight, all right, I need to I could work on my myself and I need to know the steps I should take.

To work on yourself.

Yes, and losing weight, and I don't know, just becoming a better person because obviously you know you've achieved you've achieved it.

What makes you say I have achieved it? Because I'm also you know, could lose some weight and also don't know No, hold on real quick, I mean, what how do you do? How do you even define all these things? I feel like you got like, what do you what does it mean to you to be a better person?

Just being nicer and talking to more people and letting them in.

Want I talk to more people?

Yeah, and help them?

Are you in school right now?

I am not graduated with what a high school diploma? Nice?

You try volunteering, Uh, I have, But.

Anytime I have, they've just disrespected me. Like I went to you, I went to a food bank and they just spit on me.

They spit on you.

Yes, they don't like me. They don't want me to give them food.

You went to a food bank to help homeless people when they spit on you.

Yes, I'm not in the nice part of town. People out here just wild.

Right, But I mean that's part of it, right that you know what to make you? You know what I would make you viewing that's like a test for you, I think, because it would be even because I mean, it's one thing to be nice to people who are being nice to you, But I think the ultimate test is how nice can you be to someone who's being mean to you, to someone who doesn't like you, is spitting on you, who hates you. How nice can you be in that person?

You know?

Oh, that's that's that's where it's being nice, because it's fuckinga It's easy to be nice to people who are nice. Anyone can do that. But it's that's where I think the real I mean, that's what I'm trying to get better at myself, you know, That's what all I like, like, you know, I mean, even like when people troll me and shit, I'm like, how you know, that's the test, That's that's what beg that's the work.

You know.

Anyone could be nice to people whore nice to them, But can you be nice to homeless people spitting on you that hate you and don't want you to talk to them?

Well, I can tell you that I still serve them food with a smile on my face, and I tried my best to get through it.

But you don't. But you don't want to go back. You don't want to do it again.

No, I'm pretty sure I got sick from that, so I don't think I should go back.

Okay, maybe maybe the spinning is a bit far, but especially now. Yeah, okay, how else? Well, the food bank's not the only place you can go. You could do you would be nice to other places.

Yeah, I guess I could just do more community service and help people. But the main problem is because people don't seem to want me to help them?

What makes you say that people don't want.

You to help them? They tell me they don't like me.

Can I get like an example, like when has this happened?

All right? So I did the bell ringing for the Red Cross. I think I had to do it for school, and the dude just punched me.

You were doing Red Cross for school?

Like you know the bell ringers where you drop change in the the thing outside of stores.

No, I shouldn't hear. I'm not sure we're talking.

Oh well, damn uh.

And you can describe it to me.

So Salvation Army, Salvation Army. Sorry, wrong, wrong thing, wrong thing? My bad?

Oh, Salvation Army. Okay, So you were doing the Salvation Army?

Yeah? Yeah, I asked him. I was like, hey, do you want to donate money to the less fortunate? And maybe he just rocking me. One.

That's fucking crazy, right, Like.

I'm just over here trying to help people and I just get a fucking right hook.

Did Was there anything between that? Was there escalation? Was there a situation or just out of nowhere he just punches you? Was that was there any what? Did anything happen in the time span between you?

Ask him?

If you want to donated him punching you.

I know. I was like, do you have any spare change? And he said get out of here and rocked me.

I don't think you should give up though, No I won't. I mean, yeah, I don't.

I don't.

I don't think that. I mean I understand why you're being the teared. And again I've said this a thousand times, but I'm not qualified to give advice. And this is not real therapy, and this is not anything but my personal belief, which is different from how I act. Yeah, very different from you know, what I believe in what I do, very different things. However, my personal belief you know, I think that the and this is what I think of, this is what this is the goal I am for

But no, I feel you got to keep the positivity to outweigh the negativity totally.

I think he don't you give up, man, I think I think you you. Yeah, you gotta go even harder. You gotta go double make up for this guy because you don't want anyone to because you've you've experienced negativity in the form of a right hook to the draw, and you don't want anyone else to feel that way. So you got to go out and do the opposite to people. What's the opposite of punching someone in the face? Kissing? But you don't want to do that.

I don't want to hug random people. You don't take that's a good idea.

You probably don't want to hug you.

Probably right, it's probably gonna get me punched more.

Mhm, But keep going, dog. I believe in you, Austin. I believe in you, Austin.

Thank you, get.

I appreciate your time absolutely.

I love you too. You have a good one.

Man, you too, Man. Good nights.

Come from Josh.

Josh, what are you doing tomorrow?

Well, I'm going to work.

What do you work?

I'm cook?

You're a cook. Yeah, what is the best thing that you cook?

Well, tonight I made a wild foraged mushroom soup with like a stage brown butter on it.

It was really good.

Do you think you would do well surviving in the wild.

I think so.

I think so because you mentioned mushrooms and I thought, well, if this guy can cook with mushrooms, then he could probably find them out into the wild.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, I have forging, like a big hobby of mine, has been for like a few years, and I just found really fascinating and just cool, like go out and walk through the woods and find some cool mushrooms or different foods you can eat. I don't know, I think it's.

Foraging. I have never spoken to a forager before. Yeah, interesting, you you got okay this this mushroom soup?

Uh huh?

Did you did you gather all the elements or did you buy? Are you? You're like a mother? You say, I'm going grocery shopping and then you walk into the woods.

Well, I mean I used stuff from the kitchen too, But no, we we had planned to do this like this tasting menu for like some of our regulars, and so you know, they put me in charge of the soup. And so I just said, yesterday, it was an awesome day. I went out and I found this awesome patch of hand of the woods or my atackie. So I brought that in. I roasted it off, and I made a delicious soup.

That's incredible. Very impressed by this. I feel I feel done buying chicken tenders at the at the grocery while you're out here cooking soups out of mushrooms that you find in the woods.

Well ship, dude, I mean I et fucking chicken tenders too.

You know, like like.

Half the time I'm too late. Like I can cook, I can cook a badass meal anytime, but like nine times ten.

No, no, no can I ask you a question, Josh, what man, have you ever had a vision?

You know?

All right, So I used to I used to be very religious. So I've had a lot of really strange experiences. I'm not I'm not as religious as a like. I wouldn't even consider myself religious anymore. But I've had a lot of really strange experiences. And I don't know, I don't know what to think about.

But yeah, you said you've had a lot of strange religious experiences.

Yeah, yeah, I mean I've had tons of dreams. I used to lucid dream a lot that was really cool.

Can we hear you know any any sort of notable ones or the or maybe the scariest.

Okay, all right, So I remember a caller a few times ago. I was talking about sleep brouss. So when I was younger, I used to have sleep outsis really bad. And this is before my whole you know, religious but I would I would get it probably once a week. I would have crazy like moments where I would just be like I couldn't move. I'd see this crazy figure in this corner of the room, just like staring at me.

I don't know.

It was weird.

And one day I fell asleep in this work truck. I was coming back from work, and I was in this parking lot, and I kind of like learned this weird thing where like if I could jerk my body, I could somehow like just like flip myself out of the sleep paralysis. Like it just like tricked my brain

You woke up in the van in the dream.

Yeah, like out of the dream. Like I never actually opened the door to the van, and I never actually threw myself into the parking lot. This is just like part of this whole dream.

I don't know it was.

It was fucking weird, dude.

So you heard the caller who had the sleep paralysis demon?

I did? I did?

I did.

Now you having your own experience with with sleep paralysis, I mean what would you have recommended her to do to combat her demons? Because you tend to have found this this jerking uh strategy.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was like I found personally for me because I haven't had in years. Actually after this weird experience, I like pretty much never had it since then. This

I don't know.

For some reason, that's what worked for me.

I don't know.

But Okay, so you were telling me that, I mean, have you had dreams that were like religiously related because you started off by making making a thing about the fact that you know you were religious.

Yeah.

Okay, so like I guess not even.

Doesn't it have to be a dream? Could just be any kind of like experience.

So like I used to practice a lot of like really uh intense like prayer, contemplation, uh, meditation, whatever you want to call it. And so in those experiences, I've had experiences where I've like blown out of my body and ah seeing what I assumed to be. Like like one time, I had this experience where there was this blinding light that just like enveloped my whole body and I just felt like just pure love and energy and

Yes, I mean it's hard. I you know, I don't have a lot of I never had a lot of sort of spiritual faith or even cared that much to think about those kind of things and consider them. But but are you, I mean, are you still connected with that?

You know?

Not?

Not?

Not really not as much as I used to be. You know, I went through I went through a lot of stuff in the last few years, and it's you know, it's made me the person I am today. And I think that, you know, hindsight, a lot of it was good. You know, it was hard, and it pushed me away from the community that I was involved with and kind of more into my own space of like trying to figure stuff out for myself makes sense of my experience, you know.

Right, I feel like and not to like, you know, I mean, I, you know, did the whole Hebrew School ship, but you know, I saw I you know. But but in a sense, I do feel like freeing yourself from that does give you a opportunity to, you know, dive into your own life and you know, figure out what you think.

Yeah, for sure, bro, for sure. I mean, like, I don't know, it's just it's it's been a good I think.

Well, man, would you say your name was Josh? Josh? Josh? You know everyone in the chat wants to date you.

Well ship, dude, I'm single.

Hit me up, go back in there and get him Josh. Hi, all right, bro, all right, man, I love you. I'll talk to you soon.

I love you too.

Man.

Good night, ma'am, ladies and gentlemen. That was all. Thank you so much for listening. As always, you can call the Gecko every Monday Wednesday Friday at ten pm Eastern Standard Time on twitch dot tv slash Lyle forever l y L E f O R E the E R. If you want to support the show, you can do so on Patreon at Patreon dot com slash Lyle Forever. You can follow me on Instagram at Lyle the Number forever. And yes, okay, that's it. Thank you for listening. God is Dead, Alaska is a city and not a state.