Hello, Hello, Hi. What's your name?
No fucking way, Sully.
Sully, like the monster.
Guy, Yeah from Monsters, Inc.
What's up, Sully? How can I get you today? What's happening on the planet Earth? From your perspective?
I guess what I wanted to talk to you about is numbers.
Oh yeah, I have this, like I.
Have this like weird thing with numbers. It might hurt your brain. Holy shit, I can't believe I'm talking to you.
This ship is crazy numbers with some numbers.
Any way. So it's like I'm like self city because I skateboard a lot, and I like can only try like certain stuff a certain amount of times, and like like I don't know how I'll explain it with that like being.
Weird you So just just to cut I'm gonna cut you off for just a second because your your thing kind of cut out a little bit. But you said you were self diagoned, that you've self di diagnosed with OCD.
Well like kind of my parents and shit have kind of told me because like I don't know. It's like, okay, if I'm skateboarding and I do it a trick and I'm like, oh shit, I'm really close. But I'm like a numb I meant like try like ten or something like that, depending on what day of the week. I won't try it the eleventh try seriously if that makes sense.
Okay, so these okay, tell me more about these numbers. Does this occur in your life in any in any form other than in skateboarding?
I yeah, so, like real quick backstory. How it like started was like you ever, like you're listening to music and then you like accidentally skip a song that you wanted to play, so you skip back to it.
M yes, yes, yeah.
So I would do that, but I would go like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until like it felt right to listen to that song.
How many times would you go back and forth?
I don't know, it would just whatever felt right.
I guess this does actually sound like OCD.
Yeah. And then it like went into like numbers and then like like I've I've always put on like Okay, this is weird, but like a certain like swipes the deodorant or like how many like swishes I do with like brushing my teeth and shit like that, if that makes sense, And like if I'm like so, say, at work, right, I pull into the parking lot depending on what day of the week it is, I can only park in that spot a certain amount of times during the week.
Hmm.
Yeah, all of this hurts my brain.
How long have you been like this?
Uh?
Ever since I was probably like I think, like a junior in high school and I'm twenty now, so probably like four years.
All right, what have you gone to see like a psychiatrist about this?
No, which I probably should, But like sometimes it's like money and like sometimes like my parents are crazy, not my parents, more my mom. I love my mom, but she's kind of crazy sometimes and like she had a bad ex experience with shit like that when she was a kid, so she kind of is like, don't go and then like money, So I just talked to family about it, and then it kind of makes me feel better.
Okay, what is what happens when you talk to your family about it?
Uh? My grandpa just reassures me that, like it's just it's not like regular shit. But I might have like an OCD or something like that. And then like I don't know, definitely, the older I'm getting like kind of the better it's gotten, do you know what I mean? Like now it's not so much now it's not so
much like an everyday thing. Like it's still an everyday thing, but not as much because like sometimes I'll have these like crazy fucking like not episodes, but like some days I'll just be fun and like I have to touch shit a certain amount of times and like shit like that. But like today, like I'm chilling, like I'm fine, life is great. So it's weird.
H I really I oh man, well I'm conflicted exact. I mean, well, I really just think you should probably see a psychiatrist.
Yeah, I need to think about that, Okay.
Can I well, just can I ask you about your your life in general? Are you in school? What do you do?
Uh? I work at a car autoparts store and the skate shop and I teach kids how to skate.
Well that sounds really nice.
Uh it's really rewarding.
Yeah yeah, okay, so you got like a cool you're doing good things.
I'm trying to because there's a lot of people who like hate in the skate community. But like I don't know, how could you hate on somebody who's helping.
A lot of people who hate in the skate community within what sense?
Like, like say you do like a certain trick or something, oh that was whack as fuck, and then like I don't know, they just like someone always has something hateful to say.
Like you'll do certain tricks and people will say that your tricks are whack as fuck.
Okay, So like quick explanations. So like I skate curbs, so like a curb that you would see like on the side of the road, you know, but like in the skate community that's like deemed like something for like old people. Why because like okay, you know what an olie is, like how you like get the board. Yeah. So, like I had surgery on my ankle like a year ago, and it kind of like sorry, I'm sot of breath. It made me like not be able to allie as
well anymore. And like I kind of hated skateboarding because I was like, oh, like it kind of ruined my
life for a little bit. And then like I started like skating curves as like Okay, I don't have to work as hard, not necessarily, because like once you get into it, you're like, oh shit, like this shit is hard, But like you don't have to like necessarily like Alie into shit because it's called like a slappy, like you slap your board into it and like it's just like old people, so like old fat guys who like I can't alie anymore.
Okay, I have a lot of thoughts about your haters, man, why don't you? I mean, well, first, first of all, you said, what's your name again?
Sully?
You Sally? You sound like a good guy. You have a you have respectable you have two respectable jobs, you have a hobby that you like, you have family that you care about. I mean, who the fuck that's it. There's nothing else.
A lot of it is, like I think a lot of it is like like other people like looking in the mirror because like I've been like traveling and stuff for skating, uh huh, like not necessarily like for like skate competicians and shit, but just like I want to work in the industry, Like that's what I want to do. And skateboarding is like really like die hard. Like if you are like in the industry, you're like you're in there, if that makes sense. So it's like really hard to
like get in anyway. Uh, That's what I'm trying to do. And I think a lot of people because I live in Iowa, I don't know if anyone I will listen to this, but fuck it. But like, I live in Iowa and we have the biggest skate park in the US. But like I feel like a lot of people, like I've noticed in general, like a lot of people like don't make it out of Iowa, if that makes sense.
Okay, So stop, I'm gonna stop you right there. You say you want to be in the industry. What do you want to do, is that you want to be a professional skater.
Not necessarily just doing something that like like whether that's like film or like like press boards or like you know, draw graphics for board. You know, something like that gets me in the industry. And I guess that's what I'm doing.
Yeah, I was gonna say, I was gonna I was gonna say, first of all, you already are in the industry. You make money. You make money, okay, but you make you make money teaching kids how to skate, yes, And you work at a skate shop.
Yes.
And these things pay you money.
Uh yeah, they.
Don't pay you. It sounds like it sounds like they don't pay you as much money as you'd like them to pay you right now, Like, but when when when but just just when we say, I just want to like define this because I really like fucking mean that. Like sometimes these things get to vague and that's annoying to me. So if we were to define f this, like if we were like the industry, if we were to define the industry, can you hear me? Please tell me you can hear me in this? You can hear me?
Yeah?
Okay. If we were to define the industry as like you making money, making enough money to like pay your bills by in the in the realm of skateboarding, then the industry is not this closed off thing that is determined by a select group of people who are cooler and smarter than you. But it's it's a it's like a wide open field of opportunity. I think. So, I mean, tell me, do you what do you want to do in skate You just said I want to design things.
I want to tell me more, like, what do you want to what do you want to do?
I don't know. I guess like I've kind of thought about that, but like not to that extent. I guess like kind of like my foot in is teaching kids, and like I honestly, if I could get paid the rest of my life to like do that like enough where I'd be like financially well, I would totally do that.
Why don't see why that? Well, hold on, why is that? Why is that a such a far off goal to you?
Because of right now, like especially in skating, it's like in a downfall, and like a lot of companies are like shutting down, and like not as many kids are skateboarding because like COVID hit and like everybody was like looking for something to do, yeah, and then and then they found skateboarding and they're like, holy shit, like this fucking skateboarding thing. And then uh and then you know everyone everything's kind of like open now, and then it's like, oh,
like we don't need that. So like all these companies like overordered shit and like little shit like that, and like the skateboarding economy is kind of like crashing as of right now.
What how often are you teaching kids the skateboarding.
I do an after school thing with kids every like once every week, and then like as of right now, just because it's like starting to get cold, I do like one on one lessons and like I do that like maybe once or twice a week, but usually like in the summer. It's crazy we have like so like I guess during the summer because like we have like winters here. I don't know if you've ever been to Iowa or not, yeah, but Iowa. Yeah, and there's not
a lot to do. But it's sick definitely during the summer, like all these parents are like getting their kids to skate and my shit like that. And so during the summer, like I'm like booked all the time because all these parents are like finding stuff for their kids to do. But like now that kids are back in school, it's like slowly going down.
Man, you said you were twenty Yeah, oh holy shit.
Yeah, I know. I'm pretty like I'm a baby. I feel like sometimes uh.
Well, I mean, shit, man, you I think you've got a lot of uh I don't know that. I feel like there's so much opportunity for you. So like do you make videos? Do you like market yourself?
Not necessarily with the what's it called? So I'm leaving my house, I don't necessarily like as much, but like regularly.
Necessarily what you don't you don't necessarily what as much?
Oh like film like me like doing like skate lessons, but like it's out there that I do skate lessons, so like people now that I do skate lessons, and then like like I do like post skateboarding, and I've picked up a couple of sponsors from that and ship like that, which is really cool.
I just don't think that you're uh, I don't think this is out of the realm of possibility for you to continue to do skateboarding stuff.
Yeah, I don't. I guess, like I don't even know like why I'm like thinking so hard about the skate stuff because like I know, I'll be fine and I'll always have skating, So I don't. It's just like a thought. I have a lot.
I I used to I used to love skateboarding. I still do love skateboarding, just as like I love I've always loved watching it, uh since I was a kid. I used to be obsessed with skate three and I liked watching a lot of those like skate videos. I still uh like watching it. It's scary. I used to.
I used to live in Venice and I would go to Venice Beach and I would watch the skateboarders and there were all these like like twelve year olds who like were on their fucking like scooters and they were jumping off like you they were doing shit that Like you know, I'm double these more than double these kids age, and I'd be fucking terrified, but they're like with no fear. It's fine. I'm not I'm going off the rails here,
no pun intended. But I thought, I'm watching these kids and I'm thinking, I'm like, if I was like this kid's father, I would be like, you're never skateboarding ever, I would forbid. I would be like, I think I'd be pretty good at, like, you know, encouraging my kids to like be whoever they want to be or do whatever they want to do. But skateboarding, I'm like, oh, that's so, it's just so I actually I really like it.
I like watching it and I appreciate it, but it's just so easy to get fucked up, you know.
Yeah, Like that's how I had surgery. And like I think I'm just kind of like scared sometimes because I've given so much of my life and like shit into skating, like it's my whole like personality kind of, so it's like I just want it to work out, but like I don't even know like why I'm worrying because like wherever I put my energy, that's where you're supposed to go.
Listen. I don't think. I don't think. I think you said it just now nicely. I think I don't think you should lament all the time you spend skateboarding. I think that uh you you'll have you have so much uh uh time to develop yourself however you want to, you know.
I think another thing is like maybe because it's getting cold, but like I get kind of bored of skating, Like not in a sense where I'm like I'm never gonna skate again. Like sometimes like you get stuck, Like you get periods where you get stuck because you don't know what to do or like learn or something like that, and so like you just start getting bored. So I've been like doing other stuff and then I'll take a couple of day break and then come back and feel like a lot better.
Did What did you say?
Your name was? Jo?
Fuck Ship? I'm sorry I don't remember anyone, I Sully? Mmmm mm hmmm, Sally is is uh is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Yes, I do. I'm pulling it up.
Oh, you wrote something, Yeah, go ahead.
Not not wrote something, but like I'm really into like trying to be happy and find purpose. Uh, I don't know. Let's just go with life is best lived in the present moment. If not, who fuck? I forgot it?
Oh?
Here we go? Sorry? Wait no, oh I'm fucking this up. I'm sorry, Lyle.
It's okay, man, Sorry you.
Fuck. I just love yourself and like, if people are hating, like you're doing something right.
No, not always, not always, not always at all, not always, not always, not always. But I think if if people are if people are hating on you because you're skateboarding in a weird way, I think those people are are idiots.
I guess just be the energy you want. It would tract.
I like that.
Uh, well, take care, Sally. I hope to see you Trey flipping uh all over all over the Tri County area one day.
Thank you. I love you. Can I Sally can? I?
There we go? He's Sully and I look like Mike Wazowski. Hi. Who is this?
This is John? John?
What's up? John?
What's up? Man? I was just calling first. I want to say I love your show, bro. You thank you doing great things. I appreciate you your show and everything. Sorry, I'm a little nervous right now.
No, it's okay, Thank you very much, John. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. What do you do? What are you doing right now?
Where are you right now? I'm at I'm at my house, just finished eating some water Burger, some uh cool number eleven. Now now I'm chilling in my room next to my cat.
What's a number eleven at Waterburger?
That's a grilled chicken sandwich right there?
Oh shit? What is uh? I didn't know they have grilled chicken at Waterburger.
Yeah, man, they got uh got grilled chicken, they got uh fried chicken, they got all kinds of stuff. Used to work there as I had.
Whatater Burger eleven days ago? And uh, against my better judgment, I got a Doctor Pepper milkshake. Did you get that?
Fuck?
No?
Because normally here's the thing. Like a Doctor Pepper slurpy is something I'm familiar with, but a milkshake is not like a I've never heard in my life of like a soda milk or even like a Doctor Pepper float. But to combine the soda and the ice cream into a milkshake is unheard of.
Yeah, I was, uh, yeah, I don't know about that, doctor pepper milkshake. I feel like you'll give.
Me the ships, you know, yeah, it would, it would. So, John, what's up? Was there a reason you called today?
Yeah?
Dude, So I wanted to talk like about So I haven't talked to anybody about this yet, but just graduate, graduated nursing school and stuff like that. Because past my my inflex, thank you bro, just past my inclex my
state exam. I'm a licensed nurse now. But I thought, like I thought once I became like a nurse and graduated nursing school, like you know, shit would get better, right, But it turns out like sh it just got worse, Like I think, uh after that, Like after I graduated nursing school, i passed my exam, I was like, I was the depressed I've ever the most depressed I've ever
been in my life. And I was like confused because I was like, oh, this is a goal I've been working towards since I was like in high school, you know. So I was I've been contemplating on im like is there I wanted to ask you, like what what what kind of makes you makes you happy.
It's interesting you say that. I the other day, like two or three days, two days ago, I was in my notes app and I was writing down everything that had been making me happy lately at least, and I could talk about that. But I guess, so for you, why did why do you think you felt so depressed after graduating?
So I was, uh, so, I also, I've been trying to I was listening to your and I heard that you journal and stuff, and I was like, oh, that's a good idea. Let me trust journal. So yeah, I tried journaling and I was just like kind of typing it out, could I do and all that? And I realized it was because like nursing school did it did it doesn't give you break to like to think other than what you have to do, what your schedule's like
and and all that. And my girlfriend she also moved to what she didn't She joined the army and she's in career right now, and she was like my main like person to talk to you, m so she so she left right before I graduated, and then I graduated, and then I guess, like all my like emotions kind of hit me at once, like everything that was kind of being suppressed from like me kind of like grinding to graduate and do all this crap.
I was.
I think it all hit me at once.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. That actually makes like a ton of sense that because there's a there's thinking about ship and doing shit, and uh, there's kind of I think there's an optimal balance in life between thinking about ship and doing shit, like you should like, if you're constantly thinking about shit all the time, uh, you're gonna be anxious and you're not gonna actually do anything.
But if you're constantly doing shit all the time, or you're not even thinking about why you're doing it or like examining your life in any way, shape or form, then uh yeah, everything just gets kind of like bottled up and comes out at once, or like you know, you spend seven years doing some bullshit and then afterwards you're like, wait, why did they even do any of that? You know, this is optimal, there's like an optimal balance
of actually living your life versus thinking about it. Are you you do you feel like you spent too much time doing and not enough time examining why you were doing what you were doing or what was kind of even going on in your life of a time.
So I kind of figured out, like, all right, I want to be in like I want to because I enjoy helping people stuff like that. But even fuck, dude, don't I don't. Sorry, sorry dudles, your question again. I kind of blank out how bad my question was.
If you feel like you've been spending too much time doing shit that you haven't spent enough time thinking about your life?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've been yeah, yeah, definitely, I've been uh shit, well single. I think I don't remember the last time I was, uh say, I think maybe four years ago I was single. I didn't have a girlfriend, so I was no, it's probably like five So I think I've constantly had like someone there to like distract me and kind of keep my mind from from all like a bunch of crap, you know. Yeah, and with the school I've been in school for since
I since like twenty eighteen. I just kind of went all over the place with school and then landing here.
Yeah. Yeah, so uh is your so are you single now or your girlfriend? Is she she's away right where she's in Korea?
Yeah, she's in Korea, and the army.
Yeah, how like is she gonna be there? How long are you guys gonna be separated? For you?
Oh, like a year?
Uh huh? What you What have you been doing since you've graduated?
So since since I graduated, I was studying for the state exam, so I was keeping busy with that. And I I took my state exam. When was it last week? Monday? So since then, dude, I've just been like going to the gym, should just whatever. I kind of kind of feel like I like making food. I've just been like doing ship to kind of keep me busy. Mm hmm, yeah I haven't. I haven't just been chilling now.
Why so, why do you think you're so depressed? Then?
So? Oh dude, so I was. I was, Uh, I don't know, that was the thing. I don't know where the fuck I was. I was so depressed. I was trying to think of like, uh, I was, I was gonna go to therapy too, but those fuckers aren't calling me back. I was thinking maybe, like I was, I was trying to think, maybe it is like it or hereditary because my mom she's on uh SSR, I is or like and and I had depressed into or whatever, and uh, she's on them, and then my grandma's pretty crazy,
and then my mom's brother is pretty crazy. So it's like, oh, fuck, is it like hereditary to have like a chemical imbalance? Do I need to be I'm like antidepressants or what. So I was trying to go to a therapist or is that or is that a psychiatrist?
Uh, the psychiatrist is the one that does meds and the therapist is the one that stares at you and goes yes, uh huh yeah.
Uh huh yeah. Uh. I don't really know, dude, I've been I'm trying to trying to figure that out. I was I was on YouTube before you went on stream. I saw a clip from Kai Sinnat with John Cena and then he was uh, he was spit in some some some truth. He was saying like he he thought his purpose on the world was to like be a wrestler and then he became an actor and he was like, oh so I'm like, ah, like, uh, I forgot what
he said, like an entertainer or some ship. But then he said he realized like that those things weren't making him like half, those weren't his main source of happiness, like external forces this this it's not like directly quoted, but it's kind of like what he was saying, Like these things weren't his uh source of happiness or his his uh his purpose, but he he said he was grateful for like waking up in the morning and like
being so fortunate to be where he's at. So I was I was trying to think, like what the what the fuck? Like I thought being a nurse would like make me like, uh have like some sort of purpose, you know, like or happiness.
Yeah.
So yeah, because like this goal I was I was going for since I was like in high school. I finally got and I thought it would have been like this, you fork, euphoric feeling of like oh shit, dude, finally did it. Yeah. I was like, oh, like I was expecting that. But when I was when I graduated, I was walking with my friends, and my friends were like like.
Oh, hyped up.
They're like, oh shit, we did it, blah blah blah, and I was just like like like expressionless, Like I was just like I wanted to be happy. I just couldn't, Like I couldn't do it. I don't know. It was weird.
So all right, I mean, I have, I have some thoughts and these are just I'm just going off of like my own lived experience, Okay, and everyone's brains are differently and uh, you know, brain chemistry and shit is a thing. So you know, aside from just me and Kai Sinnat, you should definitely still try to find a real therapist or psychiatrist to talk through these things with.
But while you're waiting for them to call you back, and it is just me and Kai Sinnat, I'll say from my own lived experience that I but that what makes Because you asked me earlier, you were like, what makes me happy? And I wrote down a list, and lately the things that are making me really happy, especially as I get older and as I get kind of further along in my what I'm doing, they become strongly less and less about accomplishments and far more about general
peace of mind. Like again, I can only speak from my lived experience. I've accomplished what I like is a lot, and I feel grateful to have accomplished and experienced and everything that I've accomplished and experienced in my life. But you know, I was pretty and I've you know, there's there's been a lot of misery among those accomplishments. And as far as just like my general state of being, it comes less from anything I've accomplished and more from like,
how do I achieve just like a like peace? And I don't think that peace is necessarily achieved by achieving a lot of stuff. I'm no expert and how peace is achieved, because if I were, I would be more peaceful. But just in my own life, I think peace is something you kind of arrived to. The acceptance and the you know you talked about like how you haven't even sorted through the thoughts like you have you've had You've been distracted. That's kind of was some of the things
you've been talked about. You said you felt distracted by like your girlfriend and by your work and whatnot. And I think taking some time away from those distractions to like work out why your brain is rattled or what
the fuck is bothering you is helpful. I have, personally, I have struggled with the the opposite where I think there's wait, I talked about this again, there's the if you if every single day you're thinking so much about yourself and your life and analyzing everything you do, you'll you get, you get. It makes you kind of anxious, but there needs to be an appropriate amount of like, Okay, let me examine why I feel the way I feel, and maybe I can achieve a little bit of peace
through that. But like you know, at a certain point, put the fucking pen down and uh go, you know, play call of duty, do whatever you gotta do to turn your brain off. Yeah, I'm trying to think with your specific situation. Hm hmmm, I mean, do you like nursing? Do you like the process of That's the other thing with the achievements is that they're not particularly process focused, right, m So do you like nursing? Do you do you
like schooling? Are you excited to literally do the functions of your job?
I'm I'm pretty excited to do my job. I'm it was weird, man, because when I when I first when I first started like nursing, I was uh more compassionate. I was more compassionate than I am now because I work in the hospitals as a tech. Yeah, and you you see like a lot of uh I mean yeah, you see people dying. You see like death and ship So fuck man, I don't know. I felt more compassionate when I first started. But I do enjoy I really do, like, uh like doing like the ICU kind of thing when
I did my clinicals. I mean, people are dying there more, but I enjoy like the I enjoy that. But I was trying to think, yeah, there's not really like a process of of of doing that. But even then in the ICU, I can't even like look forward. I mean I can, but I can't like look forward to that either because it's like, well, ship, like I can't base my happiness anymore on that, like anymore getting to a place.
Wow, what do you mean? What do you mean.
Like I can't base my happiness or I can't depend on on getting to a certain like destination two make me happy anymore?
Because sure I did that with uh, with like graduating and ship, and it fucking it's like, uh like I just like.
Kind of blew my fucking world apart, you.
Know, yeah, because I was like, oh, I thought this should have been it, you know, like I'm starting like I'm not going to be broken more.
I mean I guess every day I had a fuck man ah fuck uh, I guess every day you try to take pride in your own competence. I mean, you're a you're a nurse, you help people, you're you seem to be competent at your job, and like that's kind of everything. That's the only thing. I've been coming to a lot of epiphanies lately, and that's one of them, is that the only things that matter are like, you know, the people you're around, and then like what you're actually
fucking doing. You know, So you could have all the accolades or whatever in the world, but it all, it all really comes down to what the fuck are you actually doing. And what the fuck you're actually doing is you're being competent and you're helping people who are dying. So you got that on a pretty solid lock, I would say, mm hmm.
Yeah.
It's it's how how often do you feel like if it's not too personal of a question, how like like depressed, like you.
I feel I feel I feel the pressed. I feel the pressed pretty often. Man, Yeah, I feel depressed pretty often. I'm working really hard and I think achieving actually some results, like I've I've Yeah, I mean I feel depressed pretty often, And lately I've been kind of saying to myself, I need to make a concentrated effort to prioritize not feeling depressed as much. Like that's my new goal. That's kind
of my end. I've been having a lot of epiphanies lately, and one of them is, you know, my new goal is just I can not be depressed because you can have as many you know, as we're kind of on theme of what I think we're talking about, is you can have as many get to as many places as you want to get to as possible. But if you're fucking miserable the whole time, then I don't think it was worth it. You know, you have to kind of it's a lot of work to not be miserable if
that's your default state of being. Some people get lucky and they they're not that's not really their default state of being, or they don't have to deal with that, and that's great. But if you're one of the people who, uh, that is a fairly common state of being, it's a lot of PHASI fucking concentrated effort to not be that, you know. So that's I guess what I'm working on.
Yeah, you know who David Goggins is.
My friend, my friend, one of my friends just went through a breakup and we talked on the phone and a few days afterwards, and he was like, I'm in my David Goggins phase of the breakup where he's he's all on that like run wake up at four am and run ten miles a day. Ship.
Yeah, I was. I was. I used to I used to be my fucking idol. And I was like, I mean, he seems pretty chill with a misery. So I was like, oh, maybe maybe David Goggins is the way.
Maybe he's he seems pretty chill with misery. What do you mean by that?
Like he seems pretty uh. He he always says like comfortable, like comfortable with being uh like there's a not fucking miserable, like comfortable with with uh being like uncomfortable with with like pain like mental mental pain, and like, oh sure pain.
Well, well, because well he well that's different.
That's me.
That's he's like, I want to wake up, I wake up at four o'clock in the morning. And I like, that's a whole different fucking thing, I think. But I think that's a little different than like the whole like woo woo self acceptance vibe.
You know, Yeah, I guess I kind of watched his videos sometimes and I'm and I'm like, oh, maybe I'm just a bitch man. Maybe I need to, like, you know, like shut the fuck up and a little bit.
I really, I really, I really I swear. And this is I'm an I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say this because I think it's kind. I think I do find it important. I really do believe, and I've thought I swear my life. I think about this stuff so much. I think about the David Goggins universe, and I think about the WU will self, the self acceptance universe a bunch and I and I like, like, how much of I really do believe? The answer is somewhere? Truly, honestly,
I really believe the answer is somewhere in between. Like it's not one or the other, it's somewhere in between. The universe of like, you gotta love yourself and accept life, accept yourself as who you are, and accept life for what it is, and accept your improfessions, accept your imperfections and accept the world and accept yourself and believe that you're enough. But also quit being a little bitch and fucking go exercise and quit complaining about fucking everything, and like,
do some fucking work and stop. You know, it's somewhere in between those two things. I think, I think, I think you could. I really, I believe you could hold space for both ideas.
You should get David Goggins on your on your podcast.
That would be extremely funny. Anyway, man, is there is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Uh? Shit? Fuck, I didn't think. I didn't think what to say. Uh have a oh ship name alert? I mean, have a good day, keep watching the geck.
Well, what what's the amber alert? Should we say? I guess I guess that what's the Amber alert? They'll probably be gone by the.
Time Mitsubishi Outlander missing children are assume that ship. I can't say their name ten year old suspect because Cheryl's Manchado Hernandez Jesus.
Yeah, I kind of wish I didn't ask you to. I mean, well, I don't think we're gonna find them from the from this episode, but maybe we do. I don't know. Anyway, Yeah, I have those turned off on my phone. Is that bad? Does that make me a bad person?
I wish, I wish I knew how to do that because one happened at like four in the fucking morning, and I had to get up at five, and I was pretty pissed off. I mean, it sucks someone's uh, you know, child got abducted. Yeah, but uh, I was like.
Yeah, you're gonna sleep, you're probably having a kick ast.
Yeah, Like what can what could I do? You know? Right?
All right? Well, what's your name again?
John?
John? Have a good night, John? Good luck?
You do, man, you do?
I really do. I really think the answer is somewhere in between those two spaces, because I'm there, Yeah, because there's a push and a pull. I think I'm only speaking out of my own fucking lived experience. I don't know the answers to any of the fucking questions that of any of the things that people talk about on this thing. But there's a push and a pull between,
Like you want more out of your life. In order to get more out of your life, you do have to like quit being a little bitch and like go fucking exercise and like you know, uh, work hard and do things that to get you have to exert force and will yourself forward to make more out of your life. That is true. But if you're gonna fucking if the whole way there is filled with you fucking being hating yourself and being miserable and thinking that you're the fucking
that you suck, it's not, it's not. I just don't think it's a proper equation. I think it's probably room to for both to get there. It's like, I believe that you can get you can get more out of your life without having to be miserable and hate yourself to get there. I don't know if that's true. But that's my that's I'm EXPERI I'm doing that experiment in my own life recently. That's my that's my recent epiphany.
That's my new experiment for myself. Can I move my life forward from a but do it from a place where I'm not hating myself into submission? I don't know. I'll report back to you guys in ten years if it all went well.
All from dragone?
Hello, Hello, Hi? What is your name? Uh?
Dragone?
Oh, it's like the let's say they like the Pokemon mm hmm.
My boyfriend and I are coloring some Pokemon right now, so.
It sounds that sounds really fucking nice. You guys are coloring together, dude, it really is.
And I feel like the last time we tried to color together we couldn't get into it this much. But now we're just coloring doodle and it's really nice.
That's fucking awesome. I gotta you know, what I gotta write that down is an idea of something to do, just like sit down and color. I can't. I don't know when the last time I did that was.
You should do it, definitely, it.
Sounds really nice. Well, dragon Night, I mean, we can just you know, fuck around, But do you have something particular you want to talk about.
Well, I've been watching you for probably about a month now, and I have this thing with podcasts where I start from the very beginning, like your first video, have and been watching it. But I guess kind of just been struggling with like figuring out what I want to do as a jult, which I feel like is common. But I think I really like what you do, and I really like talking to people and getting to know people and like how they grew up to be the way
they are. I just I don't know what career I can make out of that.
Are you in college right now or what's up.
No, I graduated high school a year ago and not in college. I'm just working, just working and working.
Mhm. And so you want to do some kind of job where you can like talk to people.
Yeah, I just I really like learning about how people have grown up and how they become who they are and why they act like that. I just like, I've been thinking about a therapist, but I don't I don't know. I feel like I would take their emotions to heart and it would like hurt me in some way.
I guess you.
Feel like you would take their emotions to heart and it would hurt you in some way. I guess, well, I guess well, I guess if you I mean, I could talk about my own life. Yeah, I mean I I have no interest, ever, no interest ever in becoming like an actual therapist, like having this kind of I mean, that's kind of feels that's like a lot of responsibility. I think, yeah, that's kind of and it's a lot of work, and it's a lot of school, and it's a lot of like I mean, I I'm nothing close
to a real therapist. I just fuck around on a podcast and chat with people. But you know, I think there's a lot of nobility in becoming a real therapist if you're you're you really really want to help people. But yeah, I mean I like learning about other people's learned experiences, and I like getting to chat with a lot of people, and so I just do it fucking around on the internet. I do it in the phone call stuff. I do it in the live shows, I
do it in the street, And there's nothing. If that's what you want to do, you want to just make you want to just go out into the fucking world with a pencil and interview people. I mean you can do that today. You know, you're right If we're talking about like what do you want to do to make money so that you can live in a place and eat, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same thing that you do to you know, to to gain enrichment from life.
HM.
Well go ahead, No, go ahead.
I would just like, well, for a question for you, is like what made you want to talk to people like this over the phone?
I this had this my this happened on accident. It was yeah, this happened on accident. This was there was never this was not there was this? What I my life and what I do is not the result of me going, uh oh, I really want to talk to people, and uh maybe I could, maybe I could do this therapy gecko thing that could be a thing. I just was scoring around on the internet and people started calling in and then as a result of fucking around, uh, I kind of fell into doing this and it worked.
Then it was kind of this whole thing. But none of this was not I like fell into a weird thing. I always knew I wanted to do something that was my own thing. I was always wanted to be like an entrepreneur of some kind or do something that was like weird or fun or interesting. But being a therapy gecko was a complete accident. Hmm.
I don't know. I feel like a lot of things happened just by chance. Two So.
They do, they do, they do, but but they they Okay, they do, all right, let me add a let me add something to this so therapy gin this thing that I'm doing happened as a complete accident. But the accident happened as a result of a certain way that I do think I is being intentional about my life, Like I intentionally screwed around, you know, I was exerting intentional effort into making stuff and doing stuff and trying new things,
and that created an accident. Does that make sense? So you have a desire that do you want to talk to people? Right? You like, so, why don't you just write down like five fucking ways that you could do that and then just go do them. Just start doing stuff, okay, and then and then maybe you'll run into a nice accident. I was. I did like a So I went to college at at Temple University in Philly, and I went back there like a month ago to uh like talk
to students there and shit, and somebody asked me. They were like, how do you figure out what you want to do? And I didn't. I first split second, I was like, I don't know. I'm currently trying to figure out what I want to do, you know, with my life, even though I already do this, I still I'm trying to figure out, like, well, what do I really want to do? And then the answer kind of came to me. I was like, uh, it's you have it flipped. He
I told me that it flipped somebody. I by the way, I'm a hundred percent by the way, I don't want to I'm like, ut my own ass right now. I almost certainly got this from somebody else just to be I probably got this from like a YouTube comment or some shit. But I think it's the other way around. I think you're supposed to just do stuff and then figure out what you want to do, because you sit there trying to figure out what you want to do, and then you don't figure out what you want to
do and then do it. You do things and then and then figure out if you actually like the thing you're doing.
Okay, yeah, just do more social things things then maybe just meet more people just like Yeah, I think I think you called it an omnivert or something someone that's like extroverted and introverted.
Oh I ambivert ambivert.
Yeah, and I've been like I'm extroverted, but I've also been really introverted lady lately, and I want to make friends, but I don't feel like coffee and it's just it's not a fun cycle.
Well you're like nineteen, yeah, Well and you're a are you in like a big.
City kind of next to a big city.
Okay, okay, and you don't go to school, yeah, because I guess normally I guess, like, yeah, when I was nineteen. I went to in college, and it's easy. It's it does make it easier to be like because you're in a big, walkable community with a bunch of fucking clubs and shit going on. But right, I don't know, try to leave your house as much as you can.
Okay, I'll start doing that because I've been trying to look for a second job because the job I do, I just sit on the computer all ding, don't get too much human interaction, yes, and sucks. Yeah, So I've been trying to look for a second job, something that has more socializing, I guess. So I'll just keep trying to look for things to do outside.
What's your name again, dragon knighte? Dragon KNIGHTE. Uh, Well, coloring is a good idea, Like I'm gonna ta I'm gonna take a you've given me. I feel like you've given me more advice on this than I have because I'm gonna take the I'm gonna take your coloring thing. I'm gonna do that.
Uh, definitely do it.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
I don't think so. I just I really am inspired by what you do. I think it's really click.
Thank you.
I'm trying my best keep it up.
Yeah.
I like learning more about you, so you.
Know, I'm trying to talk more about myself. It feels good. I get why people want to hop on here and talk about themselves. It feels it's fun to talk about yourself on a podcast.
Mm hmm yeah. So yeah, I appreciate you talking to me. It's been fun.
God bless you Dragon.
I take care you too, Bye bye.
Oh man. I wish I was funnier. Sometimes I'll like, like when I can't like when I find myself being too sincere or like just talking very sincerely for a long time. Here's this happens to me all the time. I'll be talking too sincerely for a while, and I'm like, I need to say something stupid or try to be funny to break up this long streak of me talking sincerely and being up my own ass. And so I try to say something funny and then it's just not funny.
And then I'm like, well, now I've just ruined this sincerity, and so I get so I just don't say anything, but I wish. I often wish I had something funnier to say when I'm saying something sincere. But what That's fine. I accept myself for who I am in this very moment. That's okay. Whatever, whatever, let's fuck this, Let's play an ad. Fuck this, let's play an ad. We do we even add after this? I don't know if I'm gonna put
this call. I don't know if I'm gonna put an AD after this, or if it's going to be the end of the podcast. But whatever, I don't ask, but whatever, I don't know, I don't know. Sorry, I'm sorry. Goes on the line every night.
Everythink goes towards Eye, who is teaching you how to your life, but he's not really an expert.