“MY ROOMMATE SLEPT WITH MY DAD”

Hello, Hello, Hi, Is this Lola and Blair?

Yeah it is. Oh my gosh.

I didn't think i'd actually get on here.

I didn't think anyone would ever call. So we're just a couple of people on the phone on We were just a couple of people on a phone call that we never thought we would be on. Lola and Blair. It says here, uh and okay, it says here that you believe that one of your roommates slept with Lola's dad. And at first I read that, I was like, okay, this is you know, maybe a little bit of you know, how can you be so sure? But then it also says here that that Lola found evidence on her dad's

All right, Yeah, I'm talking to I put you on speaker, so.

Let me put me who because I hear one of you guys is faint in the background, and one of you guys is pretty front and center. Let's put Lola front and center, have her hold the phone and Blair can can hover over it. Because I feel like this is is Lola's story to tell, at least in the beginning.

Yeah, okay, so yeah, this is a little bit of a doozy.

I admit.

So Tommy, what's going on, Lola?

Okay, So I recently transferred to college and this is my first time having roommates. So I have five I have other roommates, well technically sweet mates, but I room with one person. And so the person that I room with, Blair, I you know, I told her the entire story because one of our other sleep mates, Olivia. She uh, it's a little complicated. I don't know what exactly happened to trigger everything, like maybe like I was totally nice to her. I don't think I did anything bad.

Hold on, I want to I wanna. I want to skip to sort of the I want to skip to what we know. Okay, So, so it's you, how many people live in this in this place?

Okay?

So I live with Blair, and then there is twoe rooms that are seeing rooms to one person just lives in that room, and then there's another room at the end and that has two other people in it, and we share a bathroom a shower.

And okay, okay, well, so, so Olivia is the one that you believe slept with your dad. Yes, okay, So what is it that makes you But you said you found something on your dad's phone to make you believe that Olivia slept with him. What is it that you found on his phone that made you believe that?

So it was Olivia's phone. I so I was on a phone because I think I was just on Snapchat or something. I asked to borrow her phone for you know, I forgot, but so I was on her phone bash just sick, and all of a sudden, like a message pops up and it's like heart emojis or something. But you know, I click on it because you know, element I'm a little nosy, So I click on it, right, and the contact name is something like baby or like heart emojis, you know, something cheesy and corny whatever, and

But we did put our phone numbers up just because we all admit it. It's like, on the first day, we all decided we should put each other's phone numbers up on we have like a little like mini markerboard on our fridge. So we each all did that.

You think maybe, so we think we think maybe Lola's dad got Olivia's number from this whiteboard where everyone has their phone numbers.

He like noticed her and was attracted to her.

And then so.

So so we have so you so so so what you're saying is correct. You have evidence, not necessarily evidence that they have met up and they have slapped together and all this and all that, but you have evidence that they are in uh, you know, a form of flirtatious romantic sexual contact.

I I didn't.

I was dumb.

I didn't take screenshots with my phone.

Well forgetting about well, forgeting about screenshots. We're not talking about hard evidence here. I'm just saying you've seen it for yourself.

Yeah, I've seen it for myself.

Like, okay, so, so have you talked to your dad about this? I have not.

I don't know how I would talk to him or my roommate. Like it's you know, I don't know too much about my parents' marriage. I you know, I I admit I don't really have the best relationship but them. So I don't really know what's going on. Like I don't know.

Maybe they're.

Marriage, I don't know.

And so.

I'm just really like confused as too, Like what to do now, Like what do I say to my roommate, to my dad and my mom? Do I just keep my mouth shut? They are married, but I don't know if they're like, you know, really like thinking about getting a divorce because I don't think my dad is that kind of man.

Really, well, listen, I mean, how are you okay? So, in response to you not knowing what to do about this, how do you feel about the situation as a whole? Like, what are your thoughts about your dad sleeping with your roommate? How does that make you feel? What do you think about it? You know? I mean, what's your what's your take on it? How does it make you feel? You think about it for before before we before we think about what you should do.

I honestly don't feel good about this.

I really tried not to think about it at all because it's just h so like such a big issue. I don't know, like how you feel like obviously this is wrong, Obviously something needs to be said or happened or I don't know, but I obviously this is not my deal situation. I don't know.

M you said your you said your relationship with your with your parents is already not uh uh, you're not super close with them?

Yeah, I'm not super close with them.

You know.

It's just.

It's not that, you know, we hate each other. It's just it's not like a good relationship. You know, I just felt like, you know, I was just living with them and they're just not really not really there for me, so you know, I'm just kind of happy to get out of the house.

Do you want Do you want to get involved with this?

No?

I don't. I feel like a good idea is just to like forget what ever happened, okay, And you know, but I feel like the right thing is to say something. So I don't know if I should be selfish and not saying anything, or like possibly ruin like my relationship with my roommates and with my family.

I don't think you need to worry about ruining your relationship with uh, with your roommates. You know. I think

Yeah.

Well, I've actually known this for a found message a couple of weeks ago, and immediately I talked to Claire about it, and you know, we've been keeping like an I on Olivia and.

I haven't Here's what I will say. He will be, He will be, he will he will be. Sort of my last thoughts about this is you say you're keeping an eye on Olivia. You're kind of turning it into some kind of spy game, and it's like the only thing I I I if I had to give some sort of advice here, I would say to you, figure out what you know. You're trying to figure out what

Thank you.

Thanks. I'll update you if anything happens.

Hello.

Hello is this Travis?

Yeah, this is Travis. Hide GEK.

How's your not going?

How's my night going?

Was a little bird going?

Mine is going pretty good? Travis. It says here that you're trying to figure out whether or not you're a furry.

Yes, that is correct, And I figured, like, I don't really know any furries, Like none of my friends are furries, or if they are, I don't know it. So you're kind of like the next best option I have. Because I believe you're a man wearing a get Go suit. I've also heard your real get Go I'm getting kind of like conflicting reports, but I figure, you know, I don't know if you're a furry, but I figure has a unique perspective for me.

Yeah. Well, it's funny you asked this because I have a I have an interesting relationship with this, where like I don't identify with I don't identify myself as a furry. I don't take any part in any kind in the furry culture or the furry community. I really have nothing to do with furries. But it is undeniable that I am a person wearing an animal costume right now. So there really isn't all that much of a difference between me and them. I cannot create any wall of artificial

Yeah, well, you.

Think you might be a fury? Why do you think you might be a furry?

I think It's kind of like a lot of little things over time that have been like building on each other. Like I've always enjoyed, you know, like media and content that involves anther animals, but I never really like more than the average person, you know. But there's a lot of little things adding up that I'm like, Now I'm like.

Could I be a furry? Am I afferry?

And then like trying to kind of interrogate that question, you know, like I would feel more at peace if I could be like definitively yes or you know, maybe not, but I've got you know, I could I could elaborate on that timeline if that helps.

M Okay, So you think because you watch a lot of media and content with anthropomorphic animals that you might be afferred, Well, here's what we here's what we have to do first, and we can look at this from many different perspectives. One is this this whole thing of am I affer? Am I not? Why do you need

Yeah?

Yeah, that identifies I think being part of the community.

I think it's uh, it's kind of like, you know, I feel like I'm riding this train, or I realized I'm on this train, and I you know, maybe I woke up from a nap, but don't have the orinary. I don't know what stop I can get off on, you know, and so I don't know if I was trying to like get up on the stop where I am, you know, like I consume a lot of his content and that's cool, or like if I could be getting off on a stop, or like should I go to

H Well, look, I see no I mean I see no downside too. If you are curious, if you think that you might jive with other people into the subculture, then go to the conventions, watch join the subreddits, get involved in the community. I don't. I don't. The only the only downside, it's not a real downside, is if let me ask, are you afraid? Are you afraid of identifying as a furry? Are you afraid of being judged or ridiculed?

I mean, I wouldn't say I'm afraid of it, but it's definitely like something I think about because I think like part of the question of like, you know, am I affrared? Am I not?

Is?

I've realized like some of the stuff that stirred up these questions is more like me having conversations with people who are like shitting on furries, and then I realize I have like a knee jerk reaction to kind of like defend phraries. Y'd be like, you know, like what are you saying here? And I'm already queer, so like I'm already used to kind of just like not really giving a fuck what normalis think I should or shouldn't

You know.

It's like, I don't know if you've seen bet Stars, right, it's kind of a furry in me, It's a good fucking show. And I know some people who are like, oh, I'm not going to watch.

That because it's like a furry show.

And I'm like, it doesn't like, I know people who are like afraid to watch content that is fucking good because they want to distance themselves from what could be completed.

A furry thing.

And it's like a weird it's a weird thing for me because like I haven't actually caught of that shit for being queer. But I'm like, oh, I have friends that would throw shade if I was a furry, So it's it's kind of strange.

Well, I mean, I mean, Travis, Travis, I think that, I mean, you sound like a guy who is pretty good and not caring what other people think about him. And I think you should take that ship to the bank. That's a good life to live, that's a good headspace to be in. And god damn it, go to one of these furry conventions. I see no downside.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I think I will when I'm not gonna get OVID again. That's That's the other thing is I don't actually have a persona, and I don't know, like you know, so I feel you have kind of gotten my foot in the door, you know, but I'm not all the way there, and I don't I don't think I'm like necessarily trying to like decide, you know, I don't know. I have like a key do me of like a raccoon, But I don't know.

A raccoon, all right, Because here's the thing. Here's the thing, I'm not a furry. I don't think I'm gonna I actually I would consider going to convention just to like do some interviews or something. I'd be fun. But I objectively running around in a big old raccoon costume, this sounds kind of fun. I think that you should not reprive yourself with that experience if it is an experience that you wish to partake in.

Yeah, no, I think yeah, I think you're right. And also, yeah, someone else asked you in the past, Uh, someone's asked you before if you're going the furry conventions and that too. I think you should do that.

Yeah, I would consider it just to do like some streams or something. I think that'd be pretty fun. But we'll see. I'll see you at the next one. Oliver, take care, No crap, I called you Oliver? Why do I call you Oliver? I haven't talked to a differentlive all right.

Well, my name on too, So let's long get it's just the thing to night have.

A good name.

Here's the thing. It's all these things. They all all these things. They all serve the same function. Intramural flag, football, dungeons and dragons, crypto currency, furries, Marvel comics, lacrosse, uh spelling bees, they're they're all they all do the same bowling groups. It's all the same. It's all the same thing. It's all the same. Thing is just people who like the same thing getting together, talking about it and being

Hello.

Hello, Hi, is this baby Bear?

Yes, this is baby Bear.

Baby Bear. It says here that you have been exploring hypnosis with your partner.

Yes, yeah, so I have. Well, first of all, it's only been an idea. So I've actually been exploring pup space with my partner. I feel like I resonate with being a pup. I've come to find that out as in the life like six months or so, and so with that, sometimes I don't want to think and I don't want to be an adult and I just want to be a pup. So along with that, my boyfriend had suggested hypnosis to kind of help me put me more into that space.

And so I.

I'm kind of like nervous to kind of delve into it. I'm not entirely sure why, but I don't even Yeah, I'm just I'm just kind of nervous.

So you are not interested in so so you are interested in the abandonment for at least a momentary bit of time of your human senses and your human brain into a dog like state via hypnosis.

Yes, m hm h, because I already kind of like do it, like my carrier characteristics kind of line up with it already like part of my personality, and I feel like with hypnosis that would just take it like a step further. And I listened to this podcast the other day and this guy's names case Kenny, and he said something that really stuck with me, and it said,

Into and what is appealing to you about becoming a.

Dog, being care free, getting out of overthinking all the time. And I deal with bipolar, so like when I get into my low it can last a lot longer than when I'm on my highs, and I feel like kind of escaping, not even necessarily escaping, but just kind of flipping that switch and being just the more care free, care free, playful, don't really care what people think about me.

Mm hmm. You know, I'm not going to lie to you. I absolutely see where you're coming from. When I look at dogs, they absolutely seem significantly happier than humans, very present, very in the moment, not thinking about the past, not thinking about the future, merely focused on the life that they are living. At the current second that they are living it, and I can see what is attractive about that headspace. Tell me what is the process of this hypnosis look like?

Well, I'm a beginner, so I don't really know fully all the details yet or would really know how to like confidently or be able to explain it exactly maybe how it would be, because I feel like if I don't want to give any misinformation, but it's different for everybody.

Your question, but no, so you're trying to that's kind of what's besides yourself to a point where your partner can say a phrase and it bring you into this state of mind.

So then I have another question. Are you afraid of the possibility that you will be permanently hypnotized into a pup and that you will lose Brianna?

Kind of.

Let's see, Like I do have some reservations in that sense, Like and I know that my partner would do this because I completely trust him, But at the same time, I kind of have like, just like this little thought in the back of my head, like because I've seen different movies and shows and stuff where like people will get put under hypnosis, maybe not even knowing it, or they do and they think it's for different, that there the intention behind it is different, and then being manipulated

But I'm not talking about the idea that you can get hypnotized into something else. I'm talking about the idea that you get hypnotized into being a dog, but your partner is unable to hypnotize you back into being You said your name was said Bianna. Yeah, unable to yourself, and so you are permanently a dog. How I mean, how does that sound to you?

I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but if I think about it from the perspective of, you know, I have to think about my adult responsibilities as well, and like like my job and you know, there's like there's those are the things that I have to take

I am.

If that makes.

Sense, I agree with you that I also one day would love to be rich enough to be a dog.

That would be great.

Thank you very much for calling Brianna. Good luck to you.

Thank you.

That actually sounds like a pretty good life.

Hello, how's a good one.

I'm a gecko, I'm a banana. All right.

I have a story that kind of scarred me. This was told me about a year ago. I promise this is not pranking. I promise this is a true story. I'm looking in the chat. Somebody said this was a prank.

Banana, do my favorite while you are, while we're on the phone, while we're on the phone together, do me a favorite. Try not to look at the chat.

Okay, okay, okay, I got you. I got you, beautiful. I'm sorry about that.

No, no worries, man, What's what's up? What's uh? What did you want to say?

Okay, So I was going to my buddy's house to go pick up some stuff, and well, he asked if he could go get some McDonald's with his girlfriends if they didn't have a car. So, you know, I left my stuff there because this is gonna be a quick ride. We're gonna go back, come back, you know, I'll get my stuff and go back home. Well, we get back to his where the place he was staying, and his

Bro.

I ain't gonna lie like I'm all about abortions because that's free, you know, free rights to everybody. But like, how you gonna tell somebody that shit.

M.

This was your this was something that happened to your friends.

Yeah, no, he did, like he did himself. Like he told me he could feel the the like the coat hanger, you know, you straight in the coat, the coat hanger out. He said he could feel it penetrate the feat of and he could feel it scrambling and ship. Wow, I promise this is not a joke, but like this ship is kind of fucked up.

So you said that this this well so interesting. So you say that this story scarred you. Yeah, I mean if the story, if, if the third party account of it scarred you, I I, uh, I cannot imagine how how your friend felt.

I mean, you're right about that. But he did he did it for a reason, so he must have been okay with it.

M hm m hm.

Hmmm. It says you're It says here, No, go ahead, you you you were, you were, you were going to say something.

No, you can go ahead. That was stupid.

No say the stupid thing.

I kind of don't want to because it's stupid.

Says here that, Uh, you have a story about getting locked out of your friend's house. Is this the same story or these two different stories?

Uh, that's the same story because we got locked out of his buddy's house because I had to wait and wait to give my stuff that was inside of there. But I mean, my life's kind of kind of all whacked. I'm not gonna lie. If you want to hear some other.

Stories, sure, why do you say that your life is whack?

So? So how much can I go with saying on here?

I mean, look, as long as you're not saying anything like, you know, well, what what what? What? Tell me? Tell me? Tell me the area of what you would like to say?

The FBI is not gonna come raid in my house if I'll tell you my life right now? Will they?

What exactly? Well, give it? Give me the arena? What? What area? What topic of I make some stuff.

I ain't gonna lie. I kind of I beat around the bush and I kind of talk some people over, but they all still buy my ship.

Okay, you you say you make some stuff and you and you're function some people over in what way, in whatever amount of detail you're comfortable providing? Do you do you fuck people over?

Well?

Do you do you know anything about like psychedelics?

Not a whole lot?

Well, you know how like the there's a LSD's like all those tiny papers. Yep, Well you can buy those tiny papers on Amazon by like a sheet for like twenty five dollars. Well, instead of making LSD, there's something called LSA. It's so simple to make. Well, I found a way to get it onto the papers and gives you like a like a like a decent trip, and so I sell it really cheap. But it's really cheap to make. So i'd be like flipping in my money.

And when you sell it, do you pass it off as if it is LSD? Yeah?

I sell it as LSD.

What is LSA mean? Uh?

I honestly cannot tell you that I fell a lost eergic acid. But don't take me up on that. I'm pretty sure it's not Elisa xeric acid. Get you get it from the seed. The seeds are legal. The process to make it is literally the seeds and watered.

Okay. And when you say you fuck people over, do people come back to you upset with you about this?

No? Because if you get actual LSD, you can sail it for fifteen a hit where I'm at, So I sell these for five dollars a hit or three hundred for one hundred of them. So like I just passed it off as like really bad LSD. Okay, And but but you can go on YouTube right now and learn how to make it. And you go on there and learn how to make dmt s, which I don't know if you know what DMT is.

So tell me you say your life is fuck I forget if I'm putting words in your mouth, but you said your life is fucked up?

Yeah? I think this is pretty fucked up what I did.

Okay, So I'm not.

What I say. I'm not really happy with what I do. I'm sorry for cutting you off.

No, no, no, it's fine. So you're not happy with what you do? Is is there anything that you could think of that that you would rather be doing?

Well?

I already worked forty hours a week, so this is sort of like a side thing and I just enjoyed doing it. But I know it's like bad, Oh bro, bro, what okay? Okay, I just now remember what happened. What happened to me like two months ago. You will not believe this. I thought I was going to jail for life. Can I can I tell this story?

Yeah? But I I wanna. I want a real quick because I don't want to lose this. You said that you're not happy with it you do, but yet you say you enjoy doing it, so you just like.

Well, are you? It hurts my family? That's that's that's one real big reasons why I hate doing this.

Okay, so it hurts your family, but you say that you like doing it, but it's something that has pros and cons to it in your eyes.

Yes, Like I don't think anybody should do to this.

Okay, what are the what are the pros for you? Making money?

Pretty much just making money, that's all about it.

Mm hmm. And in what ways does it hurt your family?

They're just against it. They don't like anything about doing it. They've been sober for about thirty years, and I just feel like it's bad that I'm doing that shit.

Have you?

I'm just curious have you made any attempt at all to stop doing this?

About twenty eighteen, I got robbed of two ounces from a guy that I knew from like the second grade. I moved away from that school in like tenth grade, and I figured, you know, he wouldn't suck me over. Will Yeah, should sucked me over? And well that kind of maybe stought for him, and I sort of just got back into it because you know, I'm not gonna lie. I so weed to.

Have you ever gone to any kind of like actual counselor type of person who you think might be able to help you.

You?

I am, I am. I don't know if I've disclaimed this to you, but I am not an actual I am nothing more than a man in a gecko costume. But but if you do have a genuine desire to quit, I would as always recommend that you seek some form of legitimate, legitimate help. What was the thing that you wanted to tell me that happened to you?

Two months ago, me and my buddies we all left her house because they had to go to a gas station give wraps. Well, we were just going to get wraps, so we didn't carry nothing on us. Well, as soon as we leave out their house, go down the street. There's a cop sitting right across the street. So you know, we turned right. As soon as we get down a little down the road, the cop pulls out. Well, we get down to our gas station. You know, the cop

They just flat out believed that they were snaps.

Yeah, I guess so, But I'm okay, okay, there's some wors to it. The UH, the coffin story of acting like buddy buddy to me, and I ain't gonna lie because I'm likek A, I'm just okay, I'm just gonna say that. And well I asked the uh. As soon as that cop said these are acids fasts, I told him, I was like, no, what what his acid? He was like, oh, that's a bad drug. But I'm pretty sure that guy's tried it. He pointed at this other cop inside his car, and that cop started laughing.

M hm.

I'm pretty sure they knew what it was. They took the ship and they had good night.

Really so they so they ended up auto. So they did confiscate it from you.

Yeah, but they didn't like wrap it up for anything. They just pretty much they were holding you like they didn't have anything, like no fucking evidence bag or nothing. The cop was like, you ain't gonna have to pay nothing tonight. You're good to go. You all can leave, like they were like really like some like really buddy, buddy, cops ain't gonna lie and they found that ship.

Listen, banana banana, banana, banana, banana. I you know, like I mean, look, thank you for sharing with us again. I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to share this this stuff with us and everything. I am concerned though, because you sound like you know you got very if. I don't know, I don't know where you live, I

Very lucky. Before my car, that ship was horrible for me because when he brought that ship right up in my face, dude, I literally put my hands behind my back like I was in handcuffs and he's like I thought there was like what that's fun? Then he was like what are these that total? There's a dance that he literally like talking to normal.

But but you know, okay, look you got really oh you know, you got really lucky. Okay, And again a real counselor, I'm an insane man at a gecko costume on the internet. But and I don't have any like advice for you necessarily, but I do hope that you take how long did this happen?

That happened like two months ago?

And are you and are you still are you still selling?

Yes? I stay out of that area. I try, I try to say, because I got pulled over three times and like maybe maybe in like a week and a half fan and they didn't give me no tickets that set one time.

Well, Banana, I listen again. This is this is definitely you know, above my pay grade to advise you as as to what to do, but just as a as an entity of some kind that would like to see you avoid avoid go into jail forever and avoid causing heart to your family, I do genuinely hope that you find a better alternative to making money than doing this because dude, you know how lucky you got and I don't want you to be in that position again, right because hey, you might not get so lucky again.

You're right about that. The ass is just paper, like most cops don't even know what that shit is. Can I tell one more story.

Before I know? Well, listen, I know, look, we're we're, we're, we're definitely uh you know, I know you have a lot of stories about this, but I really want like you to leave at leastless call with like, fuck man, the sentiment that like, whatever it is, I don't know you man of let me talking to you for twenty minutes. But I hope that whatever it is that keeps you living this pretty dangerous lifestyle, that you find a way

No getting getting taught for what? Say what?

What?

In particular, like you think the police are gonna come and just raid my house?

I don't know, man, I don't know but I I think that I don't know. Man, I'm just a guy of going on the computer. But I can only wish that that you do whatever's best for you, Banana.

Look, can I give like one piece of advice? Cops do not search the gas canisters, you know, like where you click the button where you like pop the ship right, you don't even have like so hold on, I'm sumbling over my words. Just wherever, like the the area opens up, you just pick your wead right there, don't due. They never search that gas area.

Banana, thank you for calling and good luck to you.

I hopefully I can meet you again. Sir.

Hi, Hello, Hi, Hi.

Mister, this is a get go. What is your name? Alexis Alexis? What's going on with you today in the world?

Ah, you know, I mean the hardships of being an adult. Everything's so expensive. I talking about My mom's very excited. Yes, my mom's excited. She loved you too.

Oh do you You seem like you have a good relationship with your mom?

On and off? Yeah?

Why where is it today? Are we on? Today?

Were on?

Today?

You know?

Everything is going good. I got groceries and stuff, so the house is taken care of it's all pretty good.

So it says here that you met a guy on a sugar daddy website, but it hasn't been going well? Why why has that not been going well? Well?

You know, I was forthcoming about like, hey, I'm struggling paying rent. It talks for my mom and keep it up. So all live in the Bay Area. Everything is just super expensive and he knows that. And I kind of talked with him today being like I'm kind of just living off credit and when I went to the grocery store, it was just like, oh my god, my credit card is going to work today. I'm my maxed out and I'm like here, you know, it's just it's really hard.

Why are you telling me to go to.

A food bank?

So what is the is the goal here? Are you? So I've have you met up with this guy in person before?

Yeah, I met with him like two times, and you know, he's a very nice, sweet dude. He's you know, he's like only thirty. I'm twenty two, and you know, he's really nice for He's like, yeah, I definitely want to help you out and stuff like that. And you know, he filed up.

My car for me.

When I went to go meet him. I just went on like a couple of dates and stuff, and I've told him I'm like, hey, you know, when you're comfortable, I'm cool to come to your house and stuff. But you know, I'm like, I feel like he's not going to come through. And I don't want to be rude or push you and go like, hey, give me money right now, but I'm like, I need money, please.

See.

I don't know what to tell you. I don't know necessarily the etiquette of the sugar daddy's sugar baby universe. Here I will say, I will say, I will say, if this guy that you met on this if your whole thing is that you want to find a sugar daddy and you're willing to And again, I don't know what sort of things are bringing in the big bucks. I don't know how much you have to do. I don't know what you're personally comfortable doing. I don't know any of the I don't know the universe super well.

It, I am a little bit scared and like this guy very promising just because we click really well. But it's just like I'm very scared because it's like, you know, a lot of people come in and be all like, jo, if you mean to me with me right now and have sex and I'll give you one hundred dollars or whatever, and I'm kind of like and like, this was the first guy that was actually like a very nice, normal,

This is I'm I'm why are you afraid to ask him for money? If? I mean, look, you you sought an arrangement, as did he.

M h.

I feel like the writing is on the wall as to sort of the arrangement, which is you sort again, I don't know the universe that well, so this is just me started making this efferent air. But the arrangement being sought is that he gives you money and you in turn spend spend romantic and I guess implied sexual time with him.

Mm hmm yeah, pretty much. It's scared turn them off and he'll.

Be like, yeah, so are you afraid to to to reinforce the sort of grounds of the arrangement by saying, Hey, listen, you know I'll go out on a date with you, but this ain't tender. This is seeking arrangements. You gotta pay me for this.

Yeah, I'm just scared to be I'm not very confrontational. You know, I'm a cancer, So it's very hard for me just be like, hey, you know what the deal is?

Well, I mean, look, and by the way, maybe you know, maybe you ask a more seasoned sugar baby about the best way to go about it, but yeah, you might have to get a little bit of confrontational and just it's not even it's not a confrontation. Don't look at it as a confrontation. But uh look, you know you gotta go out there, you gotta lay out the uh

Yeah, I have a full time job. I look at Tesla and it's like, you know, the pay is good, it's just I try to work over time as much as I can, and it's just it's killing me. But I'm not going to go just get another part time job, because over time that'd probably be making like thirty to forty bucks an hour if I work, you know, sixty

Six It's fine, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I laughed, but I was just I feel like if you work at I'm I feel like, So you work at Tesla, Yeah, full time fortune five hundred company, Yeah, full time job. So where are your money struggles? Lying? Is it that you're trying to support your mom and you don't make enough money to support both you and her? Where is the what's the sort of the big money issue that you're trying to solve.

Yeah, it's just I'm paying all the bills by myself. You move into this place recently, and my mom kind of just she can't hold a job. She kind of just walks off and doesn't want to like stay, or she doesn't want to go back, and then it's kind

Well, you know, look, if you've explored other ways of trying to make a little bit of side hustle money and you've decided that this is the right one for you, then you know, don't be afraid to be confrontational as to the nature, because at the end of the day, seeking arrangements, at the end of the day, the sugar

I think you know it seems silly, but talking to you actually helped make me feel better good.

I'm glad to hear that. Give your best to uh. I was about to say, give your best to my mom, but you're not. You don't know my mom.

Give well, I do give them my best.

To your mom. And I think you calling.

Thank you so much? Having good night?

Hello? Is this leave.

Yes?

Si leaves Lee.

It says here that you have an obsession with lawnmowers. You currently have six of them, Yes, but you want more?

Yes, I do want more.

And what is driving this obsession?

Well, honestly, like when you sit there and you work on these lawnmowers, and once you get them running and you can just ride around on them, and it's it's like a reward in itself. You can line them up and you need to pictures of them. You know, they're a lot cheaper than than cars, they're easier to get a hold of. You know what I'm saying, No, no, no, I.

I now that you've explained it and you've sort of analogized it to the types of people who have like garages and garages of cars and the big car people, it actually makes a lot of sense why you would be obsessed with lawnmowers, because not everybody has the financial tools to keep cars and cars of, to keep garages and garages of of of you know, collectible cars, but you know collecting lawnmowers. Being a lawnmower enthusiast a lot more affordable of a hobby with a very similar sort

Exactly.

And you seem like people have told me that I have a problem, like I just get too many of them. I don't see it that way, like cause like literally like every two weeks, I'll either like just get another one or just trade one of the ones that I currently have for a different one. Like I'm always on the search for a new type of onanmomer.

I haven't had before.

And is the pul And the crazy part.

Is speaks to you the most.

Yes, the nineteen sixties Sears customs are my favorite. They just they hit so different, well because they are like the simplest, like you just just pull the starter and it's not one little belt that turns the whole thing, and it's just such a simple machine. But yet it so capable, like they can do so much, Like there's so much more than just a lawnmo.

You know what I'm saying, absolutely absolutely, How many long moments and.

Throughout the course of your life do you hope to own?

Oh, like from the rest of my life?

Oh when will you?

Oh man, I don't see myself stop them before one hundred.

Until you gaze upon them and go that is enough.

Well, I'd say at one time, I'd say I could. I could handle fifteen at one time, but all the different kinds I would like to have, I don't see myself stopping before one hundred or so, you know. And the crazy part is, I I don't even like mowing my grass. I just like the mowers themselves.

Your lawn with.

Them, Well, I have like one or two that I do mow my lawn with. I just don't like mowing the lawn. I just like the lawnmower with themselves.

M hmm. Do you like to ride the mowers?

Yes, I will actually get on one of my lawnmowers and I'll go check the cows, I'll go get my mail. I'm next weekend, I'm planning on driving it all the way to the grocery store, just just because I can. You know, m.

Do they have parking for lawnmowers?

Not specific parking, but the way I look at it, what are they going to tell me to do? Just move the lawnmower, and once it's there, I don't really think anybody will do anything about it. That's true, Yeah, because like they'll be stuff like right down the road that I could easily just drive my vehicle to, but I'll prefer to take the lawnmower, just as there's a different feel to it.

Do you know anyone else who's obsessed with lawnmowers or are you alone in this hobby? Hobby?

Well, I actually I have a lawnmower group of friends. Now they don't have as many as I do, but we do have like this little group where we'll go ride lawnmowers together.

Like a sort of lawnmower gang.

Yeah, it's it's called mower Mafia, and we'll get together and we'll just ride the lawnmowers and then we'll talk about them.

M hmm.

Yeah.

Do you guys ever go to war with other lawnmower clubs?

Well, we haven't come across any other ones yet. I like or like a pack of wolves just running the area with the lawnmower area, you.

Know, right running your.

Yeah, yeah, turf. It's a good analogy since it's lawnmowers.

What did you say? Your name was.

Lee?

Thank you for calling Lee.

Yeah, you have a nice night, mister Gid.

Hello Forrest.

Hey, look up.

That you wanted to talk about your sugar addiction.

Yeah, yeah, we could definitely talk about that. I was just I finally finished all the podcasts and I remember that being one of the older episodes. I think, and I also have a sugar addiction, don't yeah, don't learning.

Sad to report sad to report that, although you may have heard me complain about having a sugar addiction and an older episode of the podcast that today as of this recording on January thirty first, on twenty twenty two. I still have quite the addiction to sugar. What's your game? Your what are you? What are your what's your stuff? What's your poison? What's your vice? Butterfingers?

Right now?

What you, dude?

What's killing you?

Dude?

I do?

I do a sonic blast with butterfingers and Oreos. You get both and it's a dynamite combination, dude.

You ever had for during Halloween, Baskin Robbins, We'll do this flavor of Oreo called Oreo Trick or Treat and it's fucking Oreo cookie with butterfinger and Babe Ruth and I think Heath bar all in one ice cream thing.

That sounds heavenly, that sounds fantastic.

Here's my thing. Tell me if you can relate to this at all, because I'm going to give you sort of my thoughts about my whole thing, and then I want to hear yours. I'm so glad we we can talk about this because I most of my friends are like pretty like normal people when it comes to like how they eat and stuff, and I'm kind of not. I am backing, I'm back and forth between. My life would be a lot better. I'd feel better. I used to care about looking good. Now I don't. I only

Yeah? Yeah, I can relate to that, like radical acceptance of Baskin Robbins for sure, you know, just yeah, I don't know, man, it's definitely. I feel like for me, it's a combination of a bunch of different things. I think. Well, the first thing is that, like I'm highly distractable, and so with any food, if I just have like a source of it somewhere near me, which is usually the case, I'll just go through the whole fucking thing without realizing, you know. So that's kind of one thing that I

It's like where like you'll be like, oh, there's a box of cheese. It's like a whole box, and it'll start going on before you know it, the whole you ate the.

Whole brow It's funny you said cheese. Its I was literally taking care of my friend's dog and they had a I was like, oh shit, they had a family size thing of cheese. It's in the cupboard, and like I'm gonna lunch on these, and then over the weekend I just ate the whole damn thing by myself. I gave I gave like five cheese its to the dog and the rest are for me.

I always every time there's a situation like that, I always sort of like overestimate what amounts of the box other people have eaten. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, You're eat the whole box. I gave the dog ten cheese its, where really you gave them only five? You know, I do that kind of thing.

It's like the whole heap problem, where you know, like you have enough to say it's like a heap of something, but then you know, eventually it gets smaller and smaller, and then all of a sudden it's just like a few crumbs left over. So then you can't like justify it anymore. You gotta find you got to strike that balance.

Mm hmmm hmmm. So have you ever made an attempt to cut out or or just in general to eat healthier, live live better and all that stuff.

I've done really well before. Actually, Like so I guess I should say I have ADHD right, But I also have looked a lot into how to kind of work with that, and has been able to in the past tailor my surroundings to make it easier for me to uh make those decisions, because a big thing with ADHD is in impulsivity. Uh. And then I also like personally can't I don't have no sense of time or you know, kind of talking earlier about you know, just mindlessly smacking

Yeah, yeah, do you so you've had multiple periods where you were like there wasn't a sort of first half in shape, second half out of shape. It was like a little bit of time in shape, you know, a little bit of time out of shape, a little bit of time in, a little time out, like sort of a back and forth type of thing.

Yeah, it's that classic sort of yo yo, right. But I've always like loved food. And that's the thing is that you know, I go back to it because you know, it just tastes so good, and you know, I get really into cooking. That's usually that brings me back into it because I like make some homemade cookies or some shit and I'm like, oh damn, I forgot about these.

M It's that's one of the tough things is that you can't like achieve fitness in the same way that you can achieve climbing to the top of a mountain. It's like it's an ever demanding thing to stay in shape. You know, I've gotten job a little bit like you Ebb and Flow. I've gotten in shape many times, but you really need to have it be a permanent lifestyle

Yeah, you're just gonna You're just gonna die eventually.

You know.

It's kinna No, I think that, uh, you know, you can do it. I think you can have a good balance of both. It will eventually happen, I feel like for the both of us.

And uh, but.

Yeah, you just gotta yeah, accept that you're gonna be like somewhere in the middle, you know, and then eventually it will just like level out there.

What'd you say? Your name was, Man, Forest Forrest. I will see you at Pete today at Planet Fitness.

All right, man, you have a good night, my getto friends.

Take care baby.

Hello.

Hello is this Eden?

Yes? Hi Lyle?

Hello Eden? How are you? Oh?

I am fucking tastic now.

Uh here And you brought up two things that you wanted to talk about. One was about your jaw and the other one was that you said you're having a gender crisis. Now. Of those two things, let's let's talk about one or the other.

Personally, I'd personally to talk about the gender issue, but you can pick.

Really sure, let's talk about the gender issue. But is do you have? Do you have pronouns or or an identity of which that you would like us in the chat to to refer to you by this current moment.

Right now, we're just going to go for them pronouns beautiful and like just neutrality.

I don't know, So what's what is this? What is this crisis?

Eden?

So I in twenty fourteen. In twenty fourteen, I team out as a trans man, and so I can't started transitioning.

Real quick, real quick, quick, real quick, real quick before it. But am I on like eagerphone or headset or like anything other than you just holding the phone to your man?

Yeah, let me fix that?

Beautiful?

Is that better?

Much better? Continue? What were you saying? You said something about twenty fourteen?

Okay, Yeah, so I came out as trans. I came out as a trans man female to male in twenty fourteen and started my transition from there, just so that I can put my head. Okay, And you know, so I've been living my life as a man since for what is that almost eight years now.

And damn it, eight years.

Yeah, May twenty fourteen is when I came out.

I go, sorry, I interrupted you with my realization of the passage of time.

No, you're all good, it's been it's been a fat fucking minute, and like, okay, so god, okay. So I was engaged to another transman for a couple of years, and at some point in our relationship, I realized that I.

Don't identify as a man anymore.

And the thing.

Is, I got top surgery, So I got my breasts removed, I got my name legally changed. I look like a man. I've lived my life as a man for you know, my entire adult life so far. I'm almost twenty one, and you know, I have been since fucking middle school. And I couldn't talk to him about it because he wasn't able to get surgery, he wasn't able to change his name, and he got personally very offended that I could have regrets about these privileges that I was given.

And you're no, go ahead. I want to want to be finish for before I chime him.

Okay, no worries, but see, it all came to a head this morning. So I started dating assist man. So I started dating a man who was born with a penis, right, and.

Uh, so you broke up. So you broke up with the other guy that you were seeing.

Yeah, yeah, we broke up like six months ago. And so I'm dating a new guy now and I just got a new job. He bought me a p of work pants from the women's section and they gave me Kim Possible vibes. I felt like Kim Possible wearing them, and it made me fucking songs. I just I was like, holy shit, but you know, and I just it was this sense of gender euphoria that I haven't felt in

Know, And so I don't.

I don't know.

I've been listening.

I started from the very beginning of you know what you've uploaded on Spotify, and and I've met you, and I have talked before, talked to you, and I and my friend Shannon I talked a few months ago in September when I first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Remember yeah, he didn't, Yes, well you so let'sen all right?

So so so uh, let's see, Okay, So you were born female, your top surgery and or you came out in as a as a transman in twenty fourteen, you had your surgery, and you lived as a transman for eight years.

You said, yeah, and then now you tried on the

Yeah?

Yeah, And I basically I just want to like I just want to move away and startle for where nobody knows who the fuck I am and I can just be me without having to explain the transness.

You know.

But I just started this job and I don't have any fucking money, and like.

Oh, it's so obnoxious.

Why did I have to have this realization at seven in the morning putting on a pair of pants.

By the way, okay, listen, I know you're looking at this, and and by the way, I just want to say I just want to like disclaim I want to disclaim this real quick because I like to disclaim this when I'm dealing with these kinds of issues because I am a sis straight guy, so I can't truly with what you're going through. So I just like to disclaim that up front before I talk about these kind of things so that people are like, because you know, it's important

Right?

Like like like why like why be chained? And I get it? I get there, Like, fuck, I just went through all that stuff I lived eight years, but like you're not, You're not chained to the past, right, I.

Get.

I get where these feelings are coming from, at least if they get it. But I don't. I don't feel like you should be chained to the past, Like how old are you? Twenty one?

Yeah? Almost?

Until well, shit, dude, like you you're twelve and you have years and years and years ahead of you to go live as a beautiful woman and wear all the dresses you want. You know, why, why why at twenty one would you want to be like, well, I've lived this way my whole life, so I have to live the rest of my life this way. I don't know that that's how I feel.

That's yeah, that's pretty much what my boyfriend said, but it hits different coming from you.

For some reason.

I have the object, I have the I have the uh the gecko third party.

But right, no, I mean.

That's that's how that's how I feel. It's like, you know, if you've been living the way that you've lived in the past, you shouldn't have any you know, effect on how you live to the future, right Like whatever, man put the put that chapter behind you and fucking go go go live, go fuck it, go live be a woman for a year. You be non binary for if

No, it was, it was, And like, I don't know, you were one of the first people that I thought of when it when the whole realization came, because you know, I work eight and a half hour days and I listened to your show on Spotify. I started from the very first Spotify episode and I'm just listening from the fucking beginning, you know, I fucking.

Like, I don't know. Every time something I emailed.

You a couple of months ago, every time something big happens, I just want to know what the fucking gag thinks O.

You know, like, I don't know.

I know you're not like a real therapist, but you're a real person and you have good things to say, you have good input usually.

Well, thank you very much, Eden, again, wishing you the courage to not let the past to find you given your gecko energy and thank you for condy and you have a good rest of the name cow.

Yes as le.

Hey.

While so I kind of want to talk today. It seems like the subject had kind of been changing to morality and this kind of fits me. I really haven't told anyone this other than the screener before. I'm gonna make it short. And you know this is a no judge in free zone. So a little background. I trained people how to fly planes and small engine planes, and normally there's weight limits. Well, I had someone that was

So here's what I don't fully. Here's what I kind of some clarification on is So this kid was to obese to fly safely correct and you said you put a little bit about You said you you sort of fucked with the weighing process and put a little bit extra weight on him. Do you think that had you? I mean, if he was already obese did the extra weight that you put on the scale even affects the sort of final decision of whether or not he could fly?

You know?

And that's a good question. I like to think. I tell myself that maybe I wasn't all responsible for it, but I did just put my foot on the back. But I had seen him around. It's a small town, in a grocery store, and the car is full of more two leaders than anything I've ever seen, and more little debu cakes than any actual greens or foods. So maybe he actually did weigh That is what I tell myself at night to sleep better. But I just I

So why again, I know, that's our clarification is why did you put your foot on the scale? Was the intention? So that was it? Like you had the intention to protect Tim? Was it that you just didn't want to fly and a plane with him because you were afraid? You know? What? Was what was the intention behind that?

Okay?

Well, to be completely honest, when I first met him, I was very honest. I said, hey, your weight is pretty high. If you want to be a professional pilot one day, like you're gonna have to lose your weight. Well, he found he found a doctor that says he's good to go, which should have been a red flag. And then I'm having to take out a lot of fuel out of the plane. So instead of doing two to three hour flights, I'm only able to do one hour. And he says he's losing weight and he's drinking water

Back of it.

M Yeah, this is a classic Like this is a classic thing of a moral dilemma where you perform an action that you seem to and I gain. I'm not here to interpret what is or is not moral. I'm just talking along with you as you're sort of telling

Yeah, but it almost feels like, you know we were talking earlier in the show. You're talking about you know, what is life? And who is me? And where are we the real me? The real question I have is then it kind of drives me to like who do I talk to if I can't talk to anyone? Well, in Cartholicism, they talk to the priest and they give off their sins and they do a hell Mary and and they're let go. Where is my redemption in that? And does the priest even feel the type of weight

Are you? Are you a Catholic?

I am agnostic?

Okay, So you feel as though you have a heavy weight to bear with your own actions and what you considered to be sins, and you're sort of left to your own devices on how to sit with these things.

Yeah, and then I just the worst part is is when I tell you it's small town. It's a small town. I don't tell people what I do for a living. I like to say that I teach. And I meet a girl and she's talking about how she's been on her brother, her little brother, about losing weight, and I'm like, oh, I know what you mean. I'm kind of understudent. I

Are you against confessing? And even if you were to, who would you confess to? Would you confess to the kid? Are you still working with him?

I'm at a whole different place.

I delete it.

I was just toxic, and I was more scared of what if there's someone else like this because I could see myself easily doing this again. But to confess it to him, I would feel more comfortable confessing to the girl it's related to him, because you know, maybe she can judge me for my character and say, you know, maybe you did the right thing even though it was wrong. I don't know. Gex I'm just morally confused and it

I'll tell you the the sort of thought in my head of like, if you need something to do, because you seem like you need something to do, you have this like restless again armchair gecko therapy, but you have this like restless feeling within you that's caused by like, you know, you feeling like you don't know whether or not you did the right thing. So I don't know,

Oh no, I think you're fine. And it kind of brings me the question of how do we like We were talking about existental crisis issues, So how do we know who is the real Lyle? We know you as Gek and Lyle, but who is Lyle to Lyle?

Who is Liele to Lyle? Oh jeez, I don't know. I'm a bunch of different things. Well, this is this is what I was talking about last stream. It's like, I don't know if there is a real me. I mean, this is whatever you see on this Twitch stream obviously is not what I act like or who I am

Is my version of the self when I stip on that scale? Is that just in only my truth, because no one else knows that I did that.

Yeah, that's a version of who you are, the least at least according to you know, my haphazardly crafted philosophy of the real selves and whatever. Yeah, that's a version of who you are. Yeah, all the bad, the most terrible shit you've not that that you know, Not that I'm judging that as terrible. I'm just saying this separately. But all the most terrible shit you've ever done, it's probably you. But also all the greatest stuff you've ever done,

So how do I go about going forward and making sure that I don't do something like this again? Because maybe not in this situation of wait, what if I see someone that is maybe you know, not paying attention to the details or for example, on their phone, on their flying and then you know, I kind of circumvene in another way that is maybe in the shadows like how I did before. Am I right to do that? Or am I not so moral authority to say?

What?

It's good?

Here's the last thing. Here's The last thing I'll say about this is in those situations that you just mentioned, Look, your job. I don't know if you've told this explicitly the way you job is, but you work in flying. You are in your classroom or whatever you call it with the flying guys people. You are the safety authority. That's your job is to keep people safe. Right, So, like, that's your job in that whole sphere is to keep people safe. So you don't have to do that shit

Right, So I guess another version of myself is just a safety element, and don't be in the shadows about it and just say, hey, he's too fat.

Look if you know, if he's too fat for him to fly safely, then fuck you got you gotta speak up. You gotta be like, hey, he's too fat to fly safely. Don't you know you're not being an asshole. You just trying to protect him from crashing the plan of dying.

Thank you so much, Keg. I mean, I'm gonna I feel better now actually talking.

About Are you still here, Kyle cut out.

Yeah, I'm always here. I mean, the one thing that I love the most about it is is like you said, you take the authority, but be proud in the authority. But know what you're doing is just. And I think I've always just had conflicting feelings about what is just because others might not see my reasoning for what is just?

Mm hm hm, Well do you see it though?

And you've give I mean, you've given me much to You've given me much to think about. Alex, No, I don't know I called you. I'm terrible with names. Step I called another guy Alex today and that was in his name. You've given me much to think about, Kyle. You've given me much to think about. But I I gotta, I gotta get out of here before this gets too deep and before my head starts uh sort of uh convulsing into some kind of black hole that cannot be reversed.

Kyle, Thank you, le thank you for always being you beautiful.

Thank you man. Hello, Hey, this is Jack.

Yes, this is Jack.

Jacket says here that you exclusively sit down when you pee and that you have Yes, I do you would like to share with you?

Yes, I would like to share this with you. I was not expecting that. I'm thrilled right now that I'm on call, so I just want you to know that. But yeah, I have a story behind that. I have a story behind that, and it is a It is a traumatic one from when I was very young, because whenever I tell people I sit down to pee, they're like, why don't Why don't you stand up? You're a guy, you know. But so when I was around the age of three or five, it was like five, four or five,

Oh, when you're five years old.

Child's pretty sure. Yeah, child is pretty short at like five.

Yeah, children traditionally are very small.

Yes, yes, so well, I uh, I have this vivid memory of the toilet falling down, like the seat falling down on me, and there was blood. It was painful, and I my penis was injured. To say the least that day. And uh, that is that is the reason for why I sit down to pee most of the time. The toilet pretty.

Much exclusively fell. The toylet seat fell onto your penis.

Yes, when I was like three or five, Yes, like four or five.

I mean, but we've got we've got little jack and you have the the toilet seat up. Yeah, you're a small guy, so like the so so you're standing up.

And the realm I'm standing up I was very young.

Is like, so the rim of the.

Something I don't remember, I'm sorry for.

Yes, the toilet seats is at exact pianist level. And and stop me, stop me if i'm if I if I have the incorrect.

But the rim of the You're pretty correct so far.

The your little penis is resting upon the rim of the toilet seat, and then the top two parts of the toilet, the bowl that you sit on, and then the sort of the lid come crashing down and crush your little penis.

Yes, it was. It was bloody. It was. This blood was not red. This blood was it was I remember vividly remember the being. It wasn't like terrible, but there was there was quite a bit of blood. And it was not red. If I remember correct, I do not remember this blood being read, or maybe my memory is

Okay, and so so is and so how old are you now? I'm eighteen, You're eighteen? And how old are you when this happens?

Yeah, like I said, I was about like four or five years old. I was very young, four.

Fairst Okay, so this is thirteen years in the making. So for the for the for the following thirteen years, you only sat down when your peede.

I've had a few times where I stand up, but it's just I'm so used to sitting down at this point. I don't see the point too. I mean, obviously, I'll use a journal if I'm at like a you know what I mean, Okay, like a yournal is different. But if i'm at if I'm specifically at a toilet, though, I will sit down.

So this was my expecific question. So, so this is not some form of medical issue.

No, this is not a medical This is not pee.

This is a a fear stemming from a traumatic event.

I mean, I'm not so much in fear anymore. I'm just lazy. I don't feel like aving. But for a long time this was a fear stemming from a traumatic experience.

I sit down when I pee all the time because I also am lazy. And if you're telling me, I get to sit for like two minutes instead.

Of stinking, yeah, I don't.

I don't get why there's there's so much It seems like it seems like there is so much like stigma against the men sitting down to pee, and I think we need to get rid of that. Would you agree with me?

While fully agree with you, I think sitting down and peeing is the optimal strategy. You get to sit down, which is great, uh, and you get to go on your phone. And also almost every time I pee, well, if I ever have a boner, I'll I'll always sit down when I pee because you know, if you yeah,

Yeah, this is another reason.

Time is not like, hey, how come this guy peete all over the toilet seat? So I could skip that step, I would just sit down. Yeah, I like a man.

I hate it when I'm at work because you'll see because whenever I work, I also see pee on the toilet sometimes and it really like, man, I just want to sit down. You know, got to grab the toilet paper, grab the little like seat cover, because I want to sit in someone's piss. And especially for me, I work. I work a twelve hour shift, and you think I want to stand up for that whenever I pee. No, I want to get a chance to.

Rest exactly, take your breaks when you can get your breaks. And then another thing with the workplace, yeah that is that is that if you're in a small office and you leave a little bit of pee on the toilet seat, someone might know that that's you, and then you're the guys on the toilet seat.

Good thing, I don't work at all off.

By just sitting down.

Yeah, yeah, I mean I think, yeah, that was. I also have another funny story of when I was younger. It's very short. I just crashed a golf cart when I was really young.

I sure, can you tell?

Oh, yes, very quickly. I just like hopped in a golf cart crashed it into a tree while my parents and stuff were fishing. I threw the keys in the water because to hide the evidence.

That was six seconds. That was pretty good.

Yeah, well, I appreciate talking a while. It's been, it's been in I hope you enjoyed my traumatic story. Oh were you were you gonna cut me off? Or no?

I don't know, Oh no, Jack, this was this was Jack. I get the sense that you're like wondering whether or not you're like doing an okay job at being on the phone right now, And I just want you to let you know that it's perfectly fine.

Well, I appreciate that. I actually don't. I mean, I'm not that stressed out right now, believe it or not. I because I'm kind of like you when I don't like if I don't have like that view because I know you talk it because I've listened to your podcast a lot. Recently. That was why I called. I mean, I've known about you for like a few months now, but i've I've just more recently beginning into your work, and that's why i wanted to call in.

God damn, thank you, Jack. I'm glad that you've I appreciate all the kind words, and thank you for sharing your traumas with us, so that you know, all of the six year olds that are listening to this podcast can be forewarned of the dangers of peeing while standing up.

Yeah, it's a. It's a it's scary when you're young, it's scary.

Talk to you soon, Jack. Oh hie, I'm getting kind of hungry.

What are you crazy.

I don't know. I've been eating a lot of been eating a lot of Asian food lately. Like I had sushi for the first time, like two weeks ago, Like no, yeah, like probably two weeks ago. So I've been eating a lot of sushi, ramen, Korean barbecue, Chinese food. I had oudan for the first time. I don't know if it's the first time, but I haddon that was pretty good. I could eat pizza. There's so many different kinds of food.

I think you should door dash yourself something.

Really, what should I DoorDash myself?

The first thing you thought of, said Asian food.

Yeah, you know, it's enough about me, Diamond Tina. It says here, you've been in a bunch of car accidents. One time, even you crashed into your sister on purpose. Tell me about that, Okay.

So I was on like a probation with like the like drivers Bicing like department, like because when you get in to like car accidents, or you get speeding tickets and stuff like that, and Utah, you get points and if you get too many points, you can get your license taken away. And so I had gotten oh I wish, but I had gotten into a car accident. I had hit the back of someone's car, and I got I don't remember how many points you get till you get your license taken away, but I was like one point away.

And I was like three or four days.

Away from getting off probation, and my sister had got pulled over and she was on the run, so she used my name and got a speeding ticket on my name. And my mom called me and she's like, hey, Matty, just us your name and you got a ticket and everything like that. And I was really angry. So I went to my mom's house because that's where my sister lived, and she wasn't there because my mom told her I was all my way, So I just went and trash

So the revenge served its purpose in making you feel yeah, at yourself.

Kind of just I feel like maybe about the situation because I feel like my sister would always get into trouble, but like it's crazy things, but always getting away with it.

Yeah.

And and she portrayed your name, which then got you in trouble.

Yeah.

And when I went to the police station to tell them like this was the wrong person, they were like, well, you need to bring her in so that we can make a report and everything like that. And so.

How long ago is this?

Oh, it was like last year.

Okay, And what is your relationship like with your sister? Now?

It's better, She's not like doing crazy hooligan stuff anymore.

M I'm glad to hear that it's better. And you had gotten a lot of points on your license. You were telling me what what was it again that you said these points were from?

So like, if you my first points I got was I accidentally crashed into the back of someone's car, and I think I got like forty nine points for that, and I think you at fifty you'll get your license taken away. So when I got my speeding ticket a little like a few months later or like five months later, that's when I was putting on probation.

What do you think it is that compels you to drive so recklessly?

I don't know. I even one time was driving home from work and I was driving really fast and like on these roads it was kind of like farm land, so like the roads were like super lonely in there, dotted so you can pass people on them, and I was passing my coworker and ended up like flying off the side of the road and totaled my car.

I it's kind of sounds like the points system is working as it is intended to.

Oh, definitely, but it's been a long time since I've crashed a car.

Okay, so the points? Is there way to get points removed or are points permanent?

No, you can get them removed, so like after a year, I think like half of them come off and then you can take like like a safety class kind of and then get the rest taken off.

Okay, and are you working towards getting the rest of your points removed?

I think I have already all came off, because that was like over two years ago and I haven't done any I'm not pulled over anything since then.

It says that you're only twenty one years old.

I'm twenty two. My birthday live on the seventeenth.

So how long have you been driving for? Since you were sixteen? Okay, so you've had a solid five years to rack up a cute amount of points. Yeah, and okay, moving forward. So all right, there's a lot of elements here that that I'm kind of interested in hearing about. There's the relationship with your sister, which you are telling me has been mended. There's your reckless driving habits. Have you made active effort to start driving less recklessly after all these I feel like.

I feel like I wasn't intentionally trying to drive recklessly, but I feel like I don't steeve as much anymore. I still do, just not excessively.

Okay, that's good. It's good. And your viewpoint on revenge, the fact that the revenge that you tell of in the story made you feel good, do you think that in the future you will continue to seek vengeance as heavily as you did in that one instance.

Definitely, not, just because there was just a lot more to that, Like a lot of more things that happened that cause that revenge, Like my sister has even like burned caught, like the middle school we went to she caught it on fire. She's were on high speed chases, She's been with like stolen cars, and she just always seems to get away with those things. And my mom would never punish her either, So I feel like in my way, that was kind of me punishing her.

So it was a bit of vigilante Jessic, Yes, for everybody. And your sister, you say, burnt down a.

Middle school, not like burnt it down, but there was like they called it, like the science hall, and she was like lighting the toilet paper on fire for some reason, and it just like caught the other role on fire, and then just the whole bathroom caught on fire.

And what is it that is really, at the end of the day fueling your desire to enact this vigilante justice? Is it? And you say, you say it's for the good of everyone? So is this necessarily Does this have to do with some belief that you have in law and order? Does this have to do with, you know, I don't know, jealousy of your sister's ability to continually evade punishment. Does it have to do with a dislike

I think I just wanted her to stop doing all that crazy stuff and just not like be a headache for everybody, because like at that part, my mom wasn't really involved in our lives too much, so like I would have to take her to core and take time to take her. I'll tell these programs she had to do, so it was just like a pain that I didn't feel like doing anymore. I just wanted her to pull her head out.

Of her ass.

Have you had an extended conversation with your sister aside from just hitting her car, about your desire for her to pull her head out of her ass.

Yeah, And that's why I'm saying now like our relationships school, because she finally did that, she started going to school and everything. So, yeah, she finally pulled her head out of her ass. But I don't think it's anything I've said to her or even me crashing into her car.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. Is there anything else that you want to say before we go with Tina?

Well, I just want to say my own name is Dominique. I just said diamon Tina because the last time I got in as a screener, I didn't get through, so I just wanted to have a grabbing name. But I also just wanted to say that I love your stream. I've been listening since like November or something. I saw you on TikTok but and I figured that you would have a podcast on Spotify or something, so that work, and I checked you out and I've been listening since then.

Thank you very much, Dominique. I do really appreciate that, and thank you for sharing your story with us.

Have a good one, GEG you as well.

Bye.

Never weekend goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.

Every week goes to unside.

Was teaching you CUD in the middle of your life.

Body's not really an expert.