“MY ROOMMATE IS DOWN TO RAISE MY KID”

All from Jade.

Hello, Yo, my god, is it wild?

Yeah? Who's this?

Oh my god? This is Jade. I've been like trying to call for like two years. What the buck, Jade?

What's going on? How's life?

Not a car? Life is terrible? I've it's been rough.

Man.

Why I so?

I just lost my job, that's cool. The place I've been working at was like, hey, we gotta do budget cuts, you gotta fire someone. That one someone neut. I was like, man, that sucks, and I cried about it. And then I've been applying to a lot of jobs and no one is hiring.

Yeah, you know what I just it just really is so crazy that we need money to live. This is where this is. I'm going to get into, Like I don't know anything about economics or life or politics or whatever, but it's like it's just shouldn't we have there's enough food and stuff, and like, you know, we're gonna shouldn't we get robots to just do everything for us and then we can each hall of enough to just like hang out. You know, it's just crazy that we need

For me personally, I like working, having just a thing to do that important for me. Yeah, it's an important thing, you know. Uh. But on the other hand, it's like this fucking sucks at all times that I'm at work. I want to fucking kill myself. Can I say that? Anyways? Do whatever you want to make It's yeah, it's rough, dude. And I mean, like, I'm taking care of my girlfriend. She's like super disabled. I mean, I she's also pregnant

Yeah.

Uh. She has metal rods in her legs, so there's like a chance and like a plate in her hip, there's a chance like when she gives birth, like legs could just like explode, you know, which would not be very epic. I don't think.

I mean, it'd be a little epic.

Yeah, it'd be kind of cool, Like if.

You're gonna if you're I'm I don't think it'd be good. But if you're using the word epic, I think it would be a little epic.

Yeah, little bit.

What job were you fired from?

It was a it was basically a lion cook position out like a pizza place. All I did every day was I was the dough person. I would make dough and fucking cut it into the circles so they can make the pizzas.

But uh, yeah, you're Italian.

I mean actually my family is very Italian unfortunately through in breeding. But thinks like my great grandparents or first cousins.

Hm, but are you are? You were your your parents weren't cousins? Were they?

No? Thank god that I feel like I'd be like twice as fucked up as my parents were. Like related, Uh, I'm not already. I mean like I'm autistic as shit, I'm just gizophrenic. It's not not a good combination there.

Well, you seem cool to me.

Well, unfortunately jobs do not think so.

I mean, why why do you think jobs don't think that you're cool?

When I mean I've noticed in a lot of interviews when jobs realize that you are not I don't want to say normal, but like if you're a little bit weird or like a little bit strange, job is.

Gonna be like, well, here's the thing, Jade, I don't know. I mean, we've been talking for about four minutes now, and I don't know who you are, so, I mean I just from from the other end of the table, you are somebody. If if you hadn't have told me that there was anything going on, uh, my first impression of you just from speaking to you would not be that there was anything grossly abnormal about you.

Well, that is very kind to hear.

Unfortunately, I do not have any Pazza places that I own that you can work at. But if I did, yeah, i'd hire you.

Fortunately, you know that's I don't know. It's like I'm not even getting interviews, which is the fucked un part. It's like, I have a good resume, I have like five six years of restaurant experience. Like what am I supposed to do?

You know, it's so hard. It's so hard. It's like funny, it's it. You know, it's hard to get any kind of job even like you know, there's all these people out there like trying to be you know, YouTubers or actors or artists or whatever, and everyone's like, oh you have you got to know somebody. It's so hard. But it's hard to get a fucking job at a pizza place. Dude. It's hard. To get a job anywhere. You know, it's hard to It's fucking hard, man.

I feel you like a walk into a place like I walked into this, this fucking restaurant of like a week ago. I'm like, here are you guys hiring? And they're like, yes, we are supergently hiring. We need to come on in the kitchen. I'm like, well, here's my resume. I have five years of experience. And then they didn't fucking call me back.

What like, I don't know, I don't Yeah, what does your girlfriend do?

She so she works part time at a like a fish store. I guess you could call it like an exotic fish store. It's got like salt water on one side, freshwater on the other. Uh. Same with my roommate, who's also technically gonna be a second, well third parent to the kid because he can have kids like he's and he's always wanting a kid. So we're like, you know, you can help raise our kid.

Wait, so the third who's who's vagina? Is the baby coming out of.

My girlfriends?

Okay? So okay, well you said third parent. I was like, is there a double penetration thing going on where it's like so let's just cut it down the middle.

Yeah, fucking now, he just uh he always want to have a kid, And they're like, you know, you can be another basically another dad to the kid.

And wait, for real, you're just the room. The roommate is just like, hey, you guys are having a kid. That looks pretty cool. Can I have Can I have a little piece of your kid? Like he's asking like he's asking for a bite of your food, but with your kid.

Yeah, it's pretty much as casual as that. You're like, you know what, we we could use the help around.

You know, how do you know this roommate? This isn't just like a Craigslist roommate.

Is it? No?

Fuck no? He so he went to my high school and then I like didn't see him for a while. And then it turns out he started working with my girlfriend at the fish store. Uh, and he needed a place to be a roommate. I'm like, I already know him, you already know him, might as well. And then it went from there.

So I guess I don't understand, like this, how this man has purchased shares of your child, Like he's just he's just a dad. What's the arrangement here.

Yea, it's like, oh my god, what there's a there's a show where there's multiple dads to like multiple kids. I can't even remember what it is. It's some sitcom, but anyways, it's just like the kid's gonna call him dad. The kid's gonna call my girlfri and mom called me mom. I mean, no, that's not that crazy.

Okay, So the kid will have two moms and one dad. Two moms, one dad yet and the dad he's.

A parent teacher conference. Is a little awkward, but.

So your friend from high school is just down to be your kid's dad. He's not you guys aren't in like a whole poly crazy thing, are you?

No?

No, no, no, Like that was specifically something he requested, was like I do not want to be in a relationship with either of you. No offense, but we're like gonna he has like day people, so.

He can kind of he can he can sort of dip out at any time he wants. You know, he's not even like a real dad.

Technically he could, but I don't think he will. I mean, he's like super excited about the whole thing. He's wanted a kid ever since a long time, you know. But yeah, that's a weird little situation we got, but okay, it all works out.

That's crazy that like, in whatever state you live in, it's easier to like become some kid's dad without doing anything than it is to get a job at a pizza place.

That's what I'm saying, dude.

I mean, is he gonna pay for the kid? Is he helping pay for the kid? Is he like financially supporting you?

Yeah, he is financially supporting. I mean he's already like bought stuff for the kid preemptively, like baby crib, I forget the fuck off the counter, sorry my cat baby. Yeah, he's just on the fucking counter. They're actually both at work right now. But yeah, basically he wants to financially support, be there like emotionally for the kid, help do everything, you know. And I think it's good because like, having three parents is better than.

Two, I suppose. So I suppose it takes it takes uh, it takes a roommate, true.

I mean unless we make the kids like three times as fucked up, then that I don't think that's good.

Okay, Well, what was the kid an accident or did you plan the kid.

So we did plan the kids what's called uh, but we've been telling everyone we didn't plan the kid because well, it was mostly my girlfriend. He said that because she was very scared that people would judge us because we aren't the most financially well off. I mean even now considering I just lost my job, but like we have our own place, but it's it's definitely been a struggle money line, but we're working on it. We're getting there.

And so, okay, so it was planned, but you're telling people it wasn't. Yes, basically okay because you're afraid that they will judge you for having a kid without being like financially stable.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Okay, how long have you been planning on having a kid for?

I mean, I wouldn't say ever since we've started dating, but like the ideas is fluted around, but I guess, like this just this year, we've been really set on planning it having it happen.

Mm hmm. And well, I mean I get look, I mean I guess you have three incomes. Does the does the truth does the guy is the guy have a job the roommate.

Yes, he works at the same place my girlfriend.

Does Okay, so that's.

Also convenient with like rides and everything, and yeah, I mean speaking's difficult anyways. Three incomes is good, but it's also bad because if we apply for financial aid through the government, right, I mean, I suppose we could leave off the roommate, but like it'll still show based on like legal filings and everything, that like a third person lives here, which makes our chances for like food stamps and insurance and stuff a lot slimmer in some regards.

How old are you?

Shit, I wasn't so I am twenty. My girlfriend is twenty four, and the roommate is twenty two.

Okay, is this something you've always wanted to do?

I mean I've wanted kids most because, like I'm in a mindset of I want a kid to make sure that kid grows up a lot better than I did, you know, because my parents were like fucking horrible. I mean I was adopted when I was young. Uh went too with my aunt and uncle, who were the people that adopted me. They were just fucking batshit terrible, you know.

Mm hmm. Well hm hmm. I mean I I I I hope you find your way into a happy life, Jade, I really do do doo.

It's just it feels like every step my life, every time I get to a point where I'm like, I'm happy, everything's going great, it just like taken away immediately. I mean, like I've been laid off from so many jobs for like similar reasons or like, God, the last two places I worked that fucking shut down. I mean there were both restaurants that like couldn't survive financially, so which also doesn't look good on a resume.

But when why do you why do you feel like you become happy and then things and then that you so you feel as though the carpet is always being pulled from underneath you.

Yeah, I mean, because I'll get the points in my life where because for me, like change is really hard, Like I like having a set schedule, having it so I know exactly what's going to happen when it happens, you know, And like right as I feel like I've gotten to the point where I have a routine again, I know everything's going to be all right. I'm financially stable. Some it happens.

Mm hm m hmm. Well again, I mean, Jade, you got you got a lot working. I I I think look like I said, I think that you present as a as a perfectly uh competent human being. That if I owned a grocery store or cafe or bar restaurant, I would have you there whipping up cocktails, putting parmesan on on on pizza. You know, it sucks. It's the job market is just so so fucked man. This is so hard to uh you know, it's.

Yeah. And it's not like I can't like adapt the change. I mean I do every time I learned to level out, but always just it sucks. It's not that I'm upset about it. It sucks, you know. It's like I can deal with it, but I don't get to complain about it, you know.

I mean, I I mean, look, I mean, look, everything everything changes when you have a kid, right, everything changes when you have a kid, and then your life really just just isn't about It's unfortunate. But I and and

True. Yeah, I mean, I've come to terms with that that, like, this is a big decision in my life that although other people, like a lot of people in my life, when I've told them, like, hey, my girlfriend's pregnant, the first thing that they bring up is you're unprepared, or like something along the lines of a lot of things people bring up is because I have these mental issues

Would put I would, I mean, I would whatever, whatever, whatever mental issues that you're struggling with, I would put them at the very pot of of of the list of you know, things to be uh thinking about it in this in this regard, and I mean, you know, I think it's important to be generally stable if you're going to be in charge of a kid. But but again again, yeah, you know, I hope go ahead, you're going to say something.

Yeah, I was going to say other than like the job situation, Like the rest of my life has been like good if that makes sense. I mean, like I've been on medication for like fifteen probably fifteen years, I mean ever since I was a kid, making sure like mental health is super stable. It's just that it's hard, you know, it's hard and it sucks, but I gotta get through it.

You know. Well, Jada, I can tell you is good luck. I hope that you if there's a pizza what state do you live in in Indiana? Well, if there's a pizza place in Indiana, if if maybe the owner of Tony's Pizza in Indiana is a huge therapy gecko fan, and he can get you a job. I hope that works out that way. You can get you get a job the way that people used to fucking get jobs in the in the eighties. Hey, I heard you on

Uh? Someone in chack in Chat asked, is the girlfriend the hot?

Maybe?

I don't know. Uh. What I have to say I have to say, is I don't know?

Well you got that going for you?

You?

You don't know if your girlfriend's hot? That's this there's a there's a cool mystery to that that I think is good to have. Take care of Jed, I mean.

You, take care. I love you, Yle.

You're an awesome Thank you, thank you, good good, good luck with everything. I'm rooting for you. I'm MoMA, I'm I'm I will, I will. I don't know what a favor I have with the Lord, but I'll try to call it in for you. Thank you, Thank you, Take care of Jed.

By bye, dude.

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I just like and when it's not judgment, I don't because I don't like to. I don't try. I try not to cast judgments on what other people decide to do with their lives. And it has nothing to do with, you know, being autistic, or anything to do with like having the

All that.

But at the end of the day, look, man, I don't live Jade's life. I don't know what it's like to be them. I don't know anything about what brings them happiness and their life and the universe's is ripe, and so I don't know. All I know is that I hope that everything works out for Jade and that they, you know, are able to find a place to make pizzas and raise the kid. And I don't know. Also, I don't know what the roommate's doing. I don't know

Hello, Hey, yeah, I just had a question. I've been having some like issues, like I mentally like I don't really know what to do.

Yeah, What's what's going on? Man?

So my girlfriend, like she's a real pothead and I've never smoked myself, but she keeps trying to convince me to smoke weed, and I'm kind of worried about it. But she keeps kind of up in the annie and like offering to do certain things if I were to smoke with her, such as a do you know what a beeper bong is?

No?

What's a beeper bond?

So apparently it's this thing that goes inside of the woman and you put water in the woman as well, and like the stem goes down into the water and you make pretty much a human bong.

So your girlfriend wants you to take a bong rip out of her pussy pretty much.

Yeah, so I've considered it, but like at the same time, like I just don't know what to do, because like it sounds interesting, but I don't want to have a bad trip or anything. I mean, I don't know if you smoke weed. But like I'm just kind of confused. I mean, know what to do? You know.

What kind of bad trip are you afraid of having?

Well, I always heard about like paranoia, and like, I mean I'm already kind of an anxious person. I mean, but maybe I want to go as like for my first time. Maybe I want to be as extreme to do something like a beaver bong. But uh, I don't know. I mean, like I just kind of got to get over this mental block.

Hm hmm, what do you paranoid could happen?

Well, just feeling it's kind of like a like you know that fucking thing where like you think you're have something wrong with you, but Mike, you don't really I forgot what it's called, like kind of a ah, I forgot what it's called.

But I have a feeling, you know what I'm talking about, Like.

Just pretty much the your brain making up like oh, I might be having a heart attack, like something's wrong.

Blah blah blah.

You know, you know, everyone has their own experience with drugs, But a little part of me thinks that you're gonna like take this spawng rip out of your girlfriend's vagina, breathe it in, and then when you blow it out, you'll look at her and you'll realize that life is actually pretty good.

Okay, Yeah, I might just have to try that. Should a shotgun the hit as well?

Blow it into her mouth for mine?

You guys need to write a book about your lives. Is there a baby? You guys have a baby? Don't tell me you too have a baby together? Uh? Dude. Next, here's the thing. For here's the thing. It starts with your girlfriend trying to get you to take a bong rip out of her vagina, and then all of a sudden, she's gonna be like, yo, let's pack the baby.

No, I don't think it's gonna go that Varna.

No, Like I feel like the top like you could like kind of push on the top of a baby's head to make a little dent, right, and then pack into that. Yeah, and then pack some wead into that and then you smoke it out of the baby's mouth.

I mean, I don't think I'd ever try that, but that's definitely interesting thought. I might just stick with a beaver bong.

It's your name again, Ryan, Ryan. You're a man of integrity and I respect you well.

Beg you.

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Uh? I hope that the chats are entertaining after this.

Take care man. Yeah, that's going to be my new Tinder bio looking for someone to do a beaver bong with. Hey, this is a message to all New York City or Seattle based therapy gecko listeners. I am very excited to announce that this New Year's Eve, I will be hosting my very first reptile rave in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Yes, that's right, I am hosting a rave.

Gek?

Yeah? Who's this?

There's a tray man, Trey.

What's going on? Dude?

Uh?

Not a whole lot.

It's a cool name, Trey.

Yeah.

It was an ae too.

Tray with it a e oh tr ae Yeah hmm, Well, what's up, Tray? Would you want to talk about today? If anything?

Well, there's some heavy shit on my plate. But for starters like I'm a garbage man, it's a pretty fun job.

Any cool pieces of garbage to report to us that you found lately? Uh?

Not really? I find random money sometimes. I think I got like fifty bucks in total.

Why do you think somebody threw away fifty bucks?

Uh? I find like fucking cleaned out wallets with just like random money left in them.

Hm.

One time I saw a pocket pussy that was kind of weird.

What did you do with it?

Oh?

I just took a picture and posted on my story, right, why.

Would you do anything else? You wouldn't take it home and fuck it? Why did that even? Why did they even come into my brain that you would do that? Tray, That's yeah, that's on me. I'm going to take responsibility for my thought.

But uh, yeah, dude, I do have some kind of deep shit. So growing up I kind of had to like take on adult responsibilities really early, and uh kind

What would starting your own life look like?

Kind of just like finally starting to not care so much and like care more about myself, just kind of give up on trying to help people I've endlessly tried to help for so long.

How old are you? I'm twenty two, twenty two, and you've spent a large majority of your life having to pick up the pieces of other people's shit. Yeah mm hmm, okay, what's between you and and not caring?

I don't know. There's just like this huge, like moral feeling that I have to like always just try to help and be like the most good that I can be, And I don't even know how to set that off and just like kind of direct that towards myself.

Yeah.

Man, this is a tough one because, like, and you know, this has been kind of a recurring theme on the show throughout a couple phone calls. We had a guy a few weeks ago who was like taking care of his aunt, you know, stuff like that, and I always feel like, you know, this is like this this is really dependent upon your own personal philosophy in a way.

Mostly my mom because it's the house that I'm paying for is under her name and alone and fucking to like a backup plan for my stepdad. Basically he's trying to fix sh it over at another house, and then just a whole lot of shit I'm tired of dealing with.

Look, here's the thing. Life I think is like a pretty easy and straightforward until you have children. I don't have children, but I assume because it's like you can if you want to just fuck off and fuck around and not give a shit about anyone other than yourself and go crazy and move to China and do Heroin and just what and you and you're and you don't have kids, you can go go go crazy, divorce your wife, leave your boyfriend, block all your friends on Instagram, who cares,

No, yeah, I definitely deserve it. I just need to stop being such a tool. I mean, not so much that I view myself as a tool. It's just overall it's not really benefiting me. It's negatively affecting me more than anything.

So, m.

I mean, I wish you the courage to do whatever you think is the best thing to do. That's the thing, man, you can really like, you could really fuck it. You can be like a self fish asshole to your friends and you're just everyone around it doesn't it's fine until you have a kid. You know you have a kid. Well, because when you have a kid and then you make their lives shitty, that's just a sinister thing to do. So, you know, and I don't know. I don't know your mom.

I think it's menopause's fault.

Well, I mean, is there any other stuff you wanted to talk about or anything further in this situation or what's up? The floor's yours?

Man? I mean, it's really just an honor to actually be talking to you every morning before I go to work, Like I go to work like half an hour early. I just throw on your podcasts and they really just start my day. I never even listen to music anymore. Like my whole thing has just been listening to you, and yeah, I love the whole community that you've started.

And thanks man.

It's crazy to be talking to you, Trey.

I I say this genuinely, it is crazy to be talking to you too. Man. Is there anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we go? God?

Yeah, absolutely, Shout out Devin, Shout out Luke, shout out Weston, shout out Andrew. My handle on install is Trey Tricky way. It is Trey with an AE. And thanks for having me dog.

Thanks man, Go go do a kickflip tray all right, you sound like you do a lot of kickflips. Have a good night, do you too?

Doug All From Sophie. Hello, Hello, can you hear me?

Hi?

How are you?

I'm good? What's your name again, Sophie, Sophie? What's cracking? How's how's life?

I'm in the middle of finals week and I don't want to study, so I'm calling you.

Oh my god. I mean, I you know, I it's hard making this podcast and stuff, and I get frustrated in my day to day life pretty often, not not even just like with with work and stuff, but also with like you know, life and and and people, and this and then the other thing. Just you know, there's all these there's all these things, and I think like I am too out of I'm I like, I need to regain some perspective because still in my adult life, even though it has its own stuff, I'm just so glad,

Right, yeah, I'm in college. I'm studying biomedical engineering.

Oh my god, that sounds awful. I'm so happy, you know what, I don't you know, I don't even care that this sounds mean. I'm I'm really happy that I'm not you doing.

No you No, you should be.

You should be.

I should have done music education instead.

I mean whatever, I'll be homeless when I'm forty, and you'll have like a real place to live. But you know, for now, I'm chilling. Why do What's what made you want to do all that?

I don't know.

I just like really want to make a difference in the world. And I don't think I could ever handle being like a doctor, Like that's just crazy.

So you said you should you should have done education?

Yeah, music education.

Why don't you go do that?

I could? It's really time day. I'm not gonna lie.

Okay, why what's stopping you?

That's a good question. Probably like the fear of my dad hating me for.

Being a failure.

That's a stupid reason.

Yeah, probably, But he does fund my education.

How am I? I'm funny, it's funny. I respect the fact that he funds your education, and and that is a that look, I think and the reason I snap judgment said that that's a stupid reason is and I don't take that back is because basing your entire life and future and day to day on like what your parents will think about it is just like a way

Now, you're so right.

I think that's like something I struggle with is I give too much of a fuck about what other people think.

So you want to By the way, I don't want to discount it. I know it's like having these kinds of conversations, especially if you haven't had them. If another hard, I don't want to discount that. It's hard, and that's one of the reasons you might be not doing it. But like, I mean, it'd be one thing if you told me that you were doing all this ship because you want to you genuinely want to be a bio medical willy Wanka person or you know, or you genuinely want to make a lot of money and you think

No?

I am doing it because I like it. It's just like it's it's just so much like I'm drowning in work right now?

What's it? You wanted to be an art education person?

Music?

Okay?

I want to band?

What's what's stopping you?

Nothing? You're so right.

Maybe maybe i'll double major. Maybe i'll or I could just drop out and become a music teacher.

You could, all right, that's all?

Hey, I got a question. Mm hmm? What note is this? You know what?

I couldn't even tell you?

Sounds like a lot of work to do. Yeah, what's your name again? Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

My name Sophie? Uh, thank you everybody for listening to my existential.

Crisis by Sophie. I hope that you figure it out, and I hope that this conversation was at least, like at least three out of ten helpful.

It was thank you Lyle rock and Roll.

Sea by, By the way, I already knew the answer. It was a g.

All from Edwin.

Hello, hello much so long. I don't know what you mean by are you still on?

Well?

It made it seem like it was going to hang up.

On me, I don't know what you mean when you're referring to an it. Let's live in the present. What's your name, sir Edwin? Eddie? Going on, Eddie, how can I get you today? What do you want to talk about?

Oh?

Man, what what can you get me today? Well, I'm twenty two and I'm already getting divorced.

Dude, What the fuck? Why is everyone like? Everyone is like, it's very funny because I don't know, I don't know the exact demographics of this podcast or whatever, but I do know that you know, a lot of people they found out about from TikTok or whatever the fuck, and so there are a lot of like people in the eighteen to you know, twenty four year old range. But all you guys are acting like you're, you know, in your fucking forties. Man. Everyone's having kids, everyone's getting divorced.

Just our generation, Like we just all had such a weird connection with the Internet. So we're all like on another level of intelligence and like wisdom on stuff. So it's it's like like a crazy level of attachment with other people.

I guess how long were you married?

Two years?

But we were Uh we met when we were thirteen, so we've been together for nine years in total, but uh yeah, two years for the like actual marriage.

Well good.

You know.

I hold my tongue out so much. I really do, because not because I'm like afraid of what people will think of my judgments, but because, like, you know, like my gut emotional reaction to when people say things like this is like my true gut emotional reaction is like I just think it's a terrible idea to get married at a young age and have kids at a crazy young age. But beneath the emotion, I logically understand and believe that different things make different people happy, and so

I mean, it's really hard to say. I put I put a lot of effort and time into thinking if because we're engaged for probably two years before I actually committed to signing anything and stuff, not in like hesitation of like, oh, I don't believe our relationship is going to blast that long. I fully believe we would last, but like, I don't know, I actually took the time to think about what I wanted for the rest of my life. Was like, odang, maybe this isn't the solution.

So what are you doing now?

Kind of just sitting around spending money?

I don't have.

What on?

I just bought a new PC and I just got the desk today and then I'm still waiting for some parts, so I'm going to be building that. But you know, using a firm to pay for stuff when I don't have any money, I'm working all the time, so you know that's fun.

Yeah, hey man, Some people would argue having a having a nice PC it's better than having a wife.

Huh oof.

That's a that's a loaded assumption.

I think, well, whatever, okay, what are you gonna do on your PC.

Game? Mostly?

I mean, I have kind of an I T background and I kind of want to get back into it. I don't know how much having a PC is going to help me with that, but it would be nice to get back into I t mm hmm, especially money wise.

Do you have a job now?

Oh yeah, I work at a warehouse currently.

Okay, Well what staate of you guys? Did?

I am in Maryland?

Oh it's my home state.

Yeah?

You sound you sound distraught?

Man?

Is there anything I can do to help you?

I don't know.

I have an awesome support team that's been helping me or a lot of people that have been talking through everything with me. And I go to a counselor and I go to therapy and a new therapist because the one I've been going to wasn't the greatest. The advice she gave me was not amazing.

Well what was the advice she gave you? I'm curious.

Well, I mean, because I was in denial about our relationship being over, and like I was fighting and fighting to try and keep stuff together, and she just suggested that I give it space and she'll she'll come back, which I guess is sound advice, But in reality.

What's wrong with that advice.

At least in this Like for how much information my therapist had about the situation, and like, here's another thing we were both going to the same therapist, but for solo sessions, it wasn't a g It wasn't like a couple of therapy. It was I went to her and then she was also going to her at the same time.

Oh, that's no fun.

But so that would give her more context on like what I was going through. I guess yeah, And I think with the information she had about our relationship, the suggestion of giving it more space was probably the worst, at least at the time.

Well, but again, why do you feel like that was bad?

Well, just because there was she moved out to live with the guy that she cheated on me with. Oh, and I feel like the me spending more time away was solidifying their relationship when I wanted things to work out.

Still, you you're I'm all right, I'm gonna tell you something. Your therapist gave you great advice.

That's fair.

Againist, I gave you great advice, man, Come on.

Yeah, hindsight, hindsight. I'm like, yeah, that was probably the best thing.

I'm sorry.

I know you're distrawing, and I I hope I don't sound like I'm laughing at you. I really, I really am not. It's just my friend. Your therapist gave you fantastic advice. I just need you to know that because you know, I know that you started out this phone call with the speech about how smart you are, and I just need you, I need you to know that your therapist gave you great advice. If your girlfriend left you to go be with the guy that she cheated on you for, I'm gonna tell you what and and

Yeah, yeah, actually going through the time away and like, I don't know, it was just this week that it clicked with me that I was fighting a battle that I wasn't gonna win. So looking back on it now, it was great advice and I appreciated it and wish I would have taken more heart to actually listening to it.

But I don't know.

Again, with her being a therapist for both of us, I feel like I kind of just had a grudge where it was like, hey, I don't know how much you're playing into me, or how much you have her in mind or what, but I don't know, therapist.

Well, look here's the thing I mean that does I don't think. I don't think that she was. I mean, that's it's weird that she was seeing both of you guys individuals.

Like Maryland right there.

That's a conflict of interest right there. But again, I don't like she was whatever she told you was in the best interest of both of you, definitely, And my god, man, I mean, I mean, what's your name again, Edwin? Edwin? I mean, god, damn it, Edwin. You're only twenty two, and you seem you're This divorce sounds like it has truly aged you, like twenty years.

I mean, I already get told that I look way older than I am. I've had people tell me I look like twenty eight and yeah, I don't know facial hair, and I'm six three and built like a stick.

So you know, Okay, So what I'm hearing is that you can have sex with anyone you want.

I wouldn't know. I've been with one person my entire life.

I mean you sound I mean, I don't know, man, I don't know. Look, I get it, I understand. But you're a tall, young, skinny guy. You know you're you're a little nerdy. That's in right now. Yeah, you're gonna be You're gonna do great, Edwin.

I'm excited for the opportunities to have in front of me.

Yes, You're gonna do great.

Do you want more context on the whole relationship this past year?

Do you do I want more context on the relationship? Not really truthfully, not really, because well, I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say first and then i'll ask you this. Not really, because I'm more interested in the present now. I'm far more interested truthfully in your present and future life than I am in in, you know, mourning your relationship. Although again, if if this is you know, I want, I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about. So if that's if the context is what you want,

Maybe you're right? I don't know. I feel like I have a I have a habit of sharing this right now just because it's.

Like, please go for it if that's what.

You want to do in my life for a year.

So, like, I don't know. So, So we were we worked together, kind of she's not really showing up to work. She has extended leave and stuff like that, so she's not there. But we worked together, and we were in a band, and I was friends with everybody in the band. We were both friends with everybody in the band, So

Oh my god. You know what, I'm glad that you gave me this context because now I'm like, I didn't realize you were also a musician, because I don't know Edwin. I don't know if you know this, and maybe I don't know if anything I'm saying is helpful to you. This is just what i'm thinking about. You might be the most in demand version of a guy right now.

Do you know that I'm not the best I play bass, primarily I.

Have you You're you're a You're a six three skinny kind, nerdy musician guy you've been to, You've already had a you've had a wife before. That's something you're like kind of the most in demand version of a guy right now. I don't know if you know that.

No, I guess not. Again, we're not even I haven't gotten divorce papers or anything yet. This is like super recent that I've accepted the fact that it's over, so I really have.

But I'm I'm a full year ahead of it. I don't even know if it's a year, but I'm I'm I'm ahead of you right now in my thinking about this, I understand you're still mourning the present.

Yeah yeah, but like again, I've been with her since I was thirteen. She's choosing my world, choose everything to me. So like, I'm gonna be taking my time to find myself out and stuff.

But you should.

I have no idea what the hell dating is going to be like for me, because.

Like, I know what, dude, I know what dats is could be like for this sick.

I hope, So I hope.

So what else? Man? I hope. By the way, I hope any of this is helpful because I know I don't know You've probably had a thousand people tell you that you just need to move on, and I'm gonna, yeah, that's one.

Again, having like so much connection with so many people to tell me what I should be doing and stuff in my head it was biased and I was like, oh, this is they're just saying that because they want to protect me and not our relationship or whatever. But in reality, I knew it was it was in my best interest to let this go. So I'm trying to. I'm trying to get past it. But every everything that anyone's told me has been super helpful. I'm just glad to talk

Yeah, man, I mean I don't know. I don't know. I mean this sounds like, uh, time, time will heal the wound. And then afterwards, I mean, God, you're gonna be You're like a gold mine. You're gonna you're You're I don't do you understand this about yourself?

You know?

Because here's the thing. Yeah, I don't think you do either, because you just you went on a whole rant about how smart you are, and then you aren't being aware of how much of a stud you are. You know what I'm saying, Like you got to redirect your self awareness to the right spots.

Yeah, yeah, I like. I I'm just in the process. Since this is my first week of getting out of denial, I'm just really getting ready for it all, prepping myself. But what the future holds.

It's gonna be sick. You're prepping yourself for the future holds. Fucking drink a lot of water.

I already do. I'm a healthy little boy.

Yeah, I know you are.

I know you are. It's unintentionable. Well, I say I'm healthy, but my diet is awful. It's just water and a ham sandwich every day.

Yeah.

Let me know if you ever want to hear about an awful diet, and I will tell you one. Yeah, Edwin, Edwin, is there anything else I can do for you? I I I'm not worried about you. I think you're going to be great.

That's great to hear. I don't know, I don't know.

I like.

I like listening to your podcast at work. It's very nice. It's very nice to uh just hear what everyone else is going through to get like perspective on existence for everything. So I enjoy what you do and I appreciate it.

Thanks.

Man.

Enjoy being a hot cool guitar game.

Say say hi to Flesh is yummy in the chat I'm reading all these that is me. I am Flesh.

Hey, take care man, you too. Yeah, there's a six to three man with a cool mustache who thinks that a bottle of water and a ham sandwich is a cheat meal. He's gonna be fine. Goes on the line taking your phone calls every night. Never Beacon goes to his hide.

He's teaching you how in the Men of your life, but he's not ready an expert