Hello, Hi.
Hey, what's your name?
My name's Autumn, Autumn.
What's going on? Autumn?
Hi? Hi? So I was just calling because my husband watches you a lot, actually, and he's encouraged me to call you all a couple of times just because my life is pretty crazy. His not so much. But when he hears mine, he's like, uh, maybe other people should hear that.
Interesting? Interesting? Okay before I actually I want to hear about why your life is crazy. But I before we do that, can I, why is your husband's life not crazy?
Like?
Can I? What's his deal?
He's actually like a really calm person. His family's really calm people too. I Mean, I'm sure they had trouble in the past and stuff, you know, like not my business to the extent of like you know, what happened before me, But they definitely am not like my family. If I could emphasize that like my family, I'll get into it. But they're a lot toned down versus that.
They're calm people. They believe in like loving their family, things like that, like everybody sticks together us against the world, My family wolves if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, where where did you two grow up?
In different places?
We actually grew up down the road from each other, but we didn't know it.
Oh really, when did you? Yeah, when did you guys get together?
Probably when I was like twenty three, so I had a little bit of a world of difference because he went to college things like that, and his family gave him that room. But my family had me out at sixteen because they thought I was old enough to take care of myself.
And how did that work out for you when you were six?
Rough?
Yeah? Rough?
When I was sixteen, I was married into a family that who really into church. Yes, we live in the Appalachian region and church is a big thing. So they married me off because they thought that was what was best for me. And it didn't work out because he was a grown man and I was a.
Child whoa So your family married you off when you were like they weren't like like they did. They kind of like arranged marriage you.
Legally, you could say no, just because they kind of went across the map of what is in the legalities for our state. But essentially, yes, we had a family down the road. There was a guy probably about seven years older than me, and they married me off to him, and the court allows it as long as you're sixteen, and they married me off to him because they thought that he would take care of me, and he was in church and I had to follow by his rules.
So yeah, I guess. I guess in a sense, yes, you could say it it is legal, but in another sense, he could say that it shouldn't be.
And how long were you in that four.
Till I was eighteen? I was eighteen, and he knew that he was a really nice man, and he knew that I didn't want that, and he let me go. He was like, I don't think you really wanted to be a part of this. He got me a car and he gave me some money and was like, here, I knew this was what you wanted. In lost and he let me go.
And where'd you go?
Well, at first I went back to my family's house, and that was hard. That was definitely hard because my mom didn't take it well, and she was not really religious or anything. I guess more so just wanted us out of her house because she she really believed that it was my job to take care of everything, and I always had to be adult and I didn't care to take on that responsibility until I guess, until I was old enough to realize that I had other options,
and that's when the defiance began. I'd got a full scholarship and stuff, and that was that was really hard and she didn't want me to take it kind of forced me in that situation. But I came back home. She had thought on drugs really bad, and the next thing I knew, probably after about two or three months, the police were beating down theer door. And I was still taking care of my siblings at the time, and I'd done that the whole time that I was married off.
So the police came at our door, busted it down, and we all had to go outside. And I never experienced anything like that because I was kind of bounced around a lot as a kid until my grandparents died, and then when I moved back home with my mom, you know, it kind of evened out, so I didn't really expect it. She, I guess, had a wild space. So we all had to get escorted outside of the house by the police, and I didn't know what was
going on. I was only eighteen at the time. My husband, he thought that I could handle what life had to give me, and he knew that I didn't want to be in that situation. I didn't know I was walking back into a situation way worse. But I remember police holding guns and stuff, and I didn't know what was going on. After the whole event, they told us that my mom had called and said nine people were holding her hostage with guns or something like that. It's kind
of traumatic. I'm sorry, I guess trembly talking about it. But there's a reason my husband thought that it would be cool for me to call. So I don't usually talk about this with other people. I promised that, like, I'll get through the story, it just it might take me a second.
Your life is you certainly delivered upon the premise that your life was crazy? Absolutely?
Yeah.
Well before we go, let me ask you this, because you said your husband wanted you to call in. Uh, how do you feel telling this story brave?
Oh? I'm so sorry. I never realized that it was a brave story, if that makes sense. Like I grew up and I wanted to be a cop, so I went into that film. I just didn't want kids to experience what I experienced growing up. And there's a lot of backstory, of course, but like I just always wanted to be brave. For everybody else. And I knew that I was that for my siblings and stuff. I didn't know that I could I could have that vulnerability, if that makes sense.
So when me and my husband talked about it and stuff, he listens to you all all the time. I just didn't know that there'd be people that would listen to it, if that makes sense. Like, you know, you you tell a crazy story, people don't People don't always register it. Like if you tell a story to your friends that know your life, they're like, oh, yeah, I could see that.
I never realized that there was an outside viewer that that would hear that and be like oh my gosh, wow, like or that's that's crazy, like that that didn't happen, you know. And so I was always president to always tell my story. But I grew up wanting to be a cop. So that's the field of for food and just thinking I can make a change. But life happens, and sometimes things happen to you, especially when they really
live in that you don't realize. I guess how your storyline the miniscule in comparison, and so sharing it don't feel like it's worth it, if that makes sense. But my husband. He'll hear me talk sometimes, especially if you have a few margarita's or anything like that, and he was like, you need to you need to tell people this, like you really really do. Like so, I guess that encouraged me a lot, just hearing him talk to me about it and tell me like, hey, you need to maybe open up.
So so listen, I mean, if you want to. If you do, you want to continue, Do you want to keep talking about it? Yeah?
Sure, Like I've been keeping up with you for a minute. Alright, cool, trying to catch you live.
So tell you so, okay, sorry, So so you're you're eighteen, the house gets raided, your mom goes off a little bit, and uh what happens after that? Where do you go?
So the story is way crazy or I'm sorry.
Go ahead, man, go ahead.
So rode off the rip. I am baffled. I remember the police escorting us out of the house. Everybody is getting it, Todd. I didn't know what was going on. I had no idea my siblings they were children at the time. I was eighteen, so my siblings at the time were not They were way younger than me, and my stepdad at the time didn't know what was going on either. Turns out my mom and had been having
a secret affair with our neighbors down the road. I guess they're going on with some polyamorous stuff kind of ordeal. Not that I'm judging or anything, just that's what was occurring. And so we get notified that they're involved, and the police are arresting kind of like a couple of people, and my stepdad still has no idea what's going on.
The cop, though at the time we lived in a really small country area, was talking to me about it and he was like, Hey, I'm just wanting to let you know what's going on, and he ends up telling me a little bit more than he should have. Whatever. A couple of people get arrested, my mom's friends, the one she was engaging them fair with, and they go
to jail. My mom doesn't go to jail, surprisingly, even though she's high, and she ends up admitting that it was meant so the next day, whatever life goes on, she's pretending like nothing happened. And that's kind of a thing with her, like it's always been a thing with her, is that when she does these crazy things, she pretends like it didn't happen, and those things had occurred once before twice before in my childhood when I lived with her before she married me off, and I was kind
of numb to it, if that makes sense. She'd always been pretty out there and done crazy things like holding guns to her head and stuff. You know, we live in the South. That's a pretty common thing, having access to those things, but it's not a pretty common thing to have your parent hold a gun to their head or anything like that. So it was kind of traumatic.
But you know, you don't know the definition of traumatic at that point in time, Like you're like, I mean, maybe I was just a traumatized I just didn't know. But like at fifteen years old, seeing my mom hooker a gun to her head, I just was like, this is normal, okay, like the same, like the worst thing I've seen, and so I just went about my day. So to to me at eighteen, this happening, I was like, this is fucked, because oh I'm sorry for cussing.
I don't say whatever. You can say whatever you want, go ahead, okay, cool.
So I was like, this fucks for this happening, But like I didn't know that it was out of the realms of other people's lives because I still hadn't had friends or anything like that. I had one best friend through high school that knew my life. Yeah, and when you when you were so scared?
So okay, So when you were eighteen, do you you didn't have any friends up up at that.
Point, not too many like people. I had had acquaintances, but I was really scared to make friends.
Were you you were you were like, were you like going to public high school?
Yes? Yes? Yeah?
Okay, and so what were Yeah what was it like for you like in school? And why were you afraid to make friends?
So when I was younger, I tried to have friends, but I didn't, you know, like how you talk about your life when you're a kid and you tell your friends what's going on, Like you're like, my family's doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah. A lot of them, once they heard what my family was doing, wouldn't let me hang out with their kids anymore, or the vice versa of if they did hear it, they got so overly concerned that it would
scare me. Because my mom was always she was the best way to explain it is and I hate to compare it to this, but like a dictator, like if you told anybody what was going on, you basically got punished at the max, Like like there was this one time I didn't understand what cheating was, and she was cheating on her husband and I was going to church at the time. I was a kid. We lived in the Bible Belt. I had accidentally told on her for cheating. And when I say accidentally, it truly was an accident.
I was thirteen years old. My grandparents raised me, so I didn't know no better, Like my grandparents were really about religion. And my grandpa had asked me if someone had been coming over to our house and I just told him, yeah. I didn't want to lie, because he told me lying was thee him in that moment, thirteen years old, you don't really think before you speak here anything like that, and she lockt me in the room for three days with no food or anything. Oh yeah,
it really scared me. So you kind of learned how to what your peas and hughes of what to do and what not to do. And I didn't know this wasn't normal for the most part, Like honestly, I thought this was how life was until I was way older, Like I had no idea. And that's why my husband's always like Autumn, like you need to you need to just maybe talk about it, like let it out something.
But like to me that that was how life was like that that was my in and out like I didn't I didn't know, like I didn't know other kids didn't go through that, So I thought it was normal to talk talk about and then I realized it wasn't. So it made me watch who my friends were. I got scared, like who would tell the guy it's counselor and if it would get back to my mom and if she'd punish me, And those were always my fears,
like if she would punish me like I was. I was just scared, and it made me so scared to do anything wrong like I was. I was terrified of it.
M So, man, all right, so you're eighteen, and you you don't even have like much of a network outside of your immediate family at this point to even really give you, as you're saying, much of a reference as to what is normal, like I like, because you know, even like the ability to like go over to a friend's house and like just just just get any bit of a fucking idea of like what life is like outside of your your own you know, is like tough when you're in that when you're in that situation, so
it becomes like, yeah, you start to believe like, oh, this is just how shit is. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense when when you're eighteen and the cops come and shit, where where do you go after that?
Like?
I guess, how did you? Cause I know you you kind of well how old are you now? By the way, if you don't mind me asking? Okay, all right, so from eighteen, what's the story of Like, like, I guess, so did the police they arrested? They arrested your mom?
Right? No, Actually, we live in such a small town that it turns out that my mom knew the officer and yeah, they were like, hey, what's going on. Ended up the people she was having an affair with had a myth lab so she she told on them for having that and they ended up getting arrested. And I don't know what the technicalities of it were or anything like that, but they lived down the road work where we were like at the time, and they were related
to my fip dad and my stepdad. Total who knows, like I was, I was only eighteen at the time. I did and understand, you know, how connections work or anything like that, So I don't I don't know the ins and outs of it, but I knew she didn't get in trouble because she got to stay home and they got arrested. So much.
How much longer did you live with her at the house?
Probably three days? So after the second day, she had threaten to shoot my brother at the time, who was twelve. She had told him that I took you into this world and I'll bring you out. And I remember hearing that. I was just like, I can't with this no more, like you know, like I took care of my siblings all my life. Like in my head, I was like, these are my kids. It just it done something to me,
and I was like, I can't anymore. So I remember packing at the time, and this probably something so silly, but I packed my I had like a Peer three and a couple other devices and not many things, you know, because I just came back home. I packed it in my car. And I'd got my first job because like I said, I was married off at sixteen, and he didn't believe in a woman working or anything. So i'd got a job. I was at my point of I'm going to do this like I'm going to figure it out.
So I got a job, and I was going to figure it out like that was my mindset. So I I sall my stuff in my car, I ran off. I slept a couple of days in a Walmart parking lot with all my stuff in my car, going to work the next day. And then my best friend from high school, the one singular friend I did have, I was like, hey, do you want a roommate? Like, we'll find a place. And I started looking at the newspaper and I found a place quickly, and God just wanted
a four hundred and fifty dollars down post. I was like, hey, that's nothing. And we did that and I went from there and got that.
And what's going on? How many siblings do you have?
So I have three that I know of, but I don't know my biological dad that well. So when we did a twenty three or whatever DNA test, it popped up a couple. I got to meet two of my dad's children. They said, we have men, but I don't. I don't know, and I've never really met them. But by my mom.
I had two that I got to know, and so, okay, so you're living with your friends, you found a four hundred and fifty dollars, you found an apartment you can afford, and and you know what's going on? Yeah, I guess. So that must have been really difficult because it's like, what's going on with your siblings at the time, because it's like, you got it's hard enough to fucking like be able to like fend for yourself in that situation. Are you Are you still at this time, like keeping
contact with your siblings and stuff? Yeah?
I am so. At the time I was messaging them and stuff, and I had got ahold of my youngest sibling, Kyla. She had told me like what was going on stuff like that, and how hard she's dealing with it. My middle sibling, she had dealt with my mom a law and was kind of close to my mom. We didn't know about what triangulation was, so we had went to therapy a couple of piunds each of us, but I went to therapy the most. So we learned about what
triangulation was, and it's called her it. Basically, the epitony of it is hitting your siblings against each other for whatever benefit it is for the parents and who. So at the time they were my mom was triangulating for a minute. It didn't happen long because she kind of realized that I was her financial gain and stuff. But she was like your older sisters, she's she left us. Look what she did. She left us, and she left
you all here alone. And so my younger sibling was telling me this, and that kind of distressed me because I was the one that would get them up for the school bus and get them ready for school, get them off the school bus and all that stuff. So
I didn't really understand what was going on at times. So, like, you know, it distressed me because I was like, how there she talked bad about me after all that she did, and I didn't know what was going on in reality, but from what I was seeing at that point and at that time, was that she was talking awful about me. But that eventually died when she realized that I would be the one that would be taking care of my siblings and stuff. But sorry, he's just her my husband.
Oh yeah, is that your husband saying what's up?
Is it okay? If you gives a little shout out sure. Yeah, he has to go to work, so I'm sorry I've been talking while he's been asleep for work.
Man.
I've been listening to your podcast for like I don't want to say, like four or five months now, but I've just been binge listening to it at work, and you're doing good stuff.
Man, Thanks man. I appreciate it, appreciate it. Have a have a do you do? Where are you going?
I work at Walmart?
Kick ass? Have a have a have a nice day at work. Brother?
All right, thanks man, later, brother, thank you. I appreciate that so much. I'm sorry.
Just that's all good. That's all good.
So yeah, yeah, they my mom is kind. At the moment they were kids, they she put it on against me, like I was abandoning them. And I never realized at that point what that that move was. I didn't know, like, I had no idea that that was what was occurrent. The months later, she I guess came around. It's like, oh, you know, she's not that bad. I guess that was wrong. They reached back out to me and was like, hey, we need help, and so US started sending the money.
I didn't know better. I was just worried. So I started sending.
On money you send them You're sending money over to your mom?
Yeah, for the kids. Mm.
And where and where are you working at this time? Like how are you making money?
I was working at a factory. It was just a little tawny, small town factory. Wasn't much at the time. Minimum wage was seven twenty five. We made like a dollar more, it was like eight twenty five. But I was just I was just worried. So I was scared, honestly that my siblings wouldn't get the mm hmmmm hmm.
And are you are you at this time? Like are you are you having do you have enough to like take care of like both yourself? Like do you have enough to take care of yourself and have enough leftover that you're sending to your to your mom.
On a really no, like if I'm if I'm being quite honest, I remember having that conversation and being like, hey, like I don't I don't have a lot of money. But in her head she viewed it as we were working, so you should So I didn't like correlate that that was wrong because I was like, this is my family.
Mm hm.
I also became pregnant, probably about two months later, I had yeah, like probably about two months later from sending all that money. The best friend that I had roommated with I kind of formulated a relationship with, but we'd been best friends in fifth grade, so I thought it was safe, and so we were like, hey, if we're friends and we're living together, we should just date, like and that was that. So we decided to be together, and then I found out I was pregnant.
Mm hmmm, mm hmm.
I know it's a lot. I'm so sorry.
No, no, if, I mean, if, if you're down to keep telling your life story, I remain I remained all ears for as long as you want to keep talking.
Okay, so as long as you're good, I'm good. I all.
Oh no, no, no, you don't. You don't have to feel bad. I've remained all ears for as long as you want to keep talking.
It's a really long story, so I'm going to apologize. An event. So that was my best friend. We've been best friends since eighth grade. So there's a little bit backstory to that. My my gallbladder had failed and had attached to my liver and so everything started shutting down at once. But my mom had said I was faking it when I was in high school, so I was getting sicker and sicker. But his mom was the only
one that gave a heck about me. So she was like, hey, something's like she worked at a hospital and she's like, something's really wrong with her. But my parents didn't listen. They were always like, she's faking it. She's faking it. She just wants attention. So there's there's a lot of backstory there too. So when my gallbladder had finally attached to my liver, I passed out at school and an ambulance is called and I had to have an emergency
store or surgery. And when that had happened, I guess that kind of brought me and him pretty close that you know, our friendship was like tight, like you know, and his parents were close to me and stuff. But you know, at the time, I knew I didn't want a boyfriend or anything like that. So I was like, uh no, I hadn't at the time knew what my parents had in store for me with the whole marriage stuff. But life goes on and he's still my friends throughout
all of that. We're friends, We move in together. He had a girlfriend I had a boyfriend at the time. We were both adults. I was eighteen, he was eighteen. But it just kind of coincided that we worked out. We both went through bad breakups or whatever, and we were like, okay, we'll be together. While we were living together, and we ended up having a kid, and we were like, okay, so we'll just make this work. We got married and you know where we live. If you're having a baby,
you get married. That's just that. So we got married. We had a son with some birth effects and stuff, and it was just really hard. We didn't know what to do. It was It was scary, really scary. And he's not a bad person or anything. I'm not going to diss him at all. In the we just didn't know what we were doing. We were both kids, and he knew about how my family dumby, how they had kind of arranged a marriage and stuff, and his family is really understanding and they kind of took me under
their wing and they were really good to me. So I felt like I had it made, but I didn't know what battles I had ahead of me. So I went through postpartum really bad because I I didn't know what I was doing, and I didn't have parents to help me along that journey or anything. And it was extra hard because you're having a kid with birth effects. You want help and you don't know what you're doing, and you especially don't know what you're doing with that
extra thing at it on. But he turned out great, Like he's a wonderful kid. He could do everything a normal kid can. He went above and beyond that, like and so I'm so proud of him. But at the time I had I had no clue what I was doing. I was terrified, like absolutely scared, Like I was like, I'm gonna let this kid down. Like I especially didn't know what I was doing because like I'd never seen a parent be a good parent, Like how do I be a good parent to my kids?
Right right right?
And if I'm not letting you get a word in stop me because.
No, no, no, please keep going, keep going please.
So it's hard. I went into counseling. I got on some antidepressants and stuff, but I was so scared of any communication because of what my family was like that I would refuse it at every curve. I was like, even the antidepressant, which is so silly in hindsight, but at the time, you know, you really don't know, like you truly don't know. So I was like, oh my gosh,
this is drugs. So I was like this bad freaked out, flushed all my intodepressants down the toilet because I was like, I've seen my mom take kills, so I was like, I don't want to be like her. So I really didn't know what I was what I was doing. So that that took a lot of mental episodes of figuring out. And I've had a lot of help with his family along the way because they knew how my family was. Like, they were like, we know you don't have support, we
know you don't have people. And to this day, I'm still so thankful because if it hadn't been for them, I probably wouldn't made it, like I probably liked honestly, if I'm telling the truth, wouldn't be here. So I'm really grateful for them.
And so when do you think when hmmm, yeah, I guess yeah, No, I mean get well, no, please, I mean I mean, please keep going tell the story or whatever, because I want to because I'm fascinated. I want to hear how you're doing now. But I want to wait because I want to. I want you to, you know, if you have a whole timeline you want to go through. I'm I'm I'm I'm yeah, I'm curious.
Yeah, if you got time, I'm here to talk. Coach.
Yeah, we got time. We got time.
So this journey goes on way on. So at that time, I was probably twenty one. I have a three year old at that point. Okay, so that's right about where I left off. I'm twenty seven now, so that's about six years that I got to go. If you're good with listen, yea.
Yeah.
So I thought I wanted to be a cop, and that was what my heart was set on, and I was like, hey, I'm going to be a cop. I'm gonna do this. I want to make a difference in kids worlds, in my world. Like you know, in my head, I was like, hey, I'm gonna be the thing that saved me when I was a kid, because, trust me,
along my childhood costs. And I'm not like, you know, backing any kind of movement in this by saying and I'm just meaning honestly, like for my perspective, in my time, I went through a lot of abuse, and the only thing that saved me was people showing up. And there was really no outside force beyond that. I didn't have family that stepped in or anything like that. So I want to be I want I want to be that, and I thought that I really can make a difference.
But it turns out in this area where we live, you can't look that. That's just that everybody knows everybody. They let them off. They like if somebody's hurting their kids, they just turn the other way. You know, if they know them, they're like, hey, I went to high school with them. They just they just don't care. And I went to that field for a while a couple of years, and it was just taking a huge toll on me personally, and I just couldn't take it no more. I was like,
I can't, I can't do this. I absolutely cannot do this. I can't watch everything that I went through and go on to other people. And so I was like, I have to sit down, I have to take a breather. So my husband I eventually moved on from my son's father because just life happens, and me and my son's
father had separated. Who wouldn't like dramatic or anything. We just went on our own paths and we'd peacefully delegated, like hey, like we were just friends growing up and we should have always been friends, and we've peacefully done it, you know, and that was the best thing ever, Like to me was just you know, you always hear about yeah, so my whole life had been drama, but to me, it, yeah, it's kind of like a breath of fresh air.
You know, yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting too, is like that's after so much like strife in your life to have you know, this event, because it's just you know, happens of people like growing apart and moving on from each other. But to have it happen in a in a peaceful way, it's like, oh things, can you know, be chill at least for once year.
I mean, I won't say it was an easy thing like at all, Like I will not because you know, I don't want to discredit anybody that's going through right now. But it definitely was hard. There was a lot of stuff that had happened, and you know, I hold no resentment and that's the best feeling to me, is like oh good, Like so I'm out of that. I'm like, at least I took something from my childhood and made it useful, like you know, I didn't want to be
like that, and I became better like and something. Okay, good, good for you. But the process after was not easy because going back home after everything I'd been through growing up.
Oh, she went back with your mom?
Yes? And yeah, so back to my mom.
Okay, so so you so you you start, you were living with your sister and then you went back to your mom.
Yes. So my sister went through a bad divorce when I decided to go through mine, and I've lived with her for a couple of months, but my sister was like, I can't, you know, do my stuff anymore, so I have to go. So I was like, oh my god, I have no other option now, like I'm I'm just getting on my feet, So now what what do I do? And it ended up with being back at my mom, which sucked wholeheartedly.
And at this at this point, so what's what's your kind of custody arrangement? Uh? At this point with with your with your ex husband.
Split perfect split. So he's like, as long as you're good, I'm good, and we would arrange so if something was going on, which he knew my family and stuff, he knew how they were, and he was like, if something's going on, you just tell me and we'll make it work, you know, like if if something's going on your way,
like we'll just delay it whatever. And we det with the grandmother a lot more than anything else, like on his side, so if something was going on, we knew Grandma could step in and help m hm hm, which wort.
So, yeah, what's it like back at that brief stint, back at your mom's not good?
My sister. I took more so worried for my sister at the time than me, which was just I couldn't help it. I should have been worrying about my process and my own emotions, but it's just I can't, like I can't like I would always just take over for her or whoever I was around at that moment, so I could be dealing with the sky falling and I was like, what's going on with you, Like, let's tell you, like whatever, yeah, which didn't give me the ability to
process what I wanted to process. But at the same time, I was just like, I can't process what I'm dealing and so I want to process what you're dealing with them, So I guess more so, I was worried about her and what she was like. Her and her man ended up working out temporarily, so we went back to her house and we stayed there for a while, and she was good with it. I was good with it, but my mom was just my mom angry, didn't want I guess one of us to succeed or something. That's just
her mentality at the time. It would bounce back and forth between me and her, and so we would just kind of talk to each other and trust each other more so than we would whatever outsourced help we were getting. Okay, we'll figure it out. And that's when I'm at my husband now. I had two jobs. I worked at a jael and I worked at a liquor store, which is the funniest thing I know.
We worked at it, what you said, a jail.
Yeah, So I was the CEO and then by night, and then I was a liquor store clerk by day. So a lot of the times i'd have people that I had in jail at not be seeing me.
The next day.
But I was cool with it, like you know, like I've always been like, really, just hey, whatever goes with flow, you know, But that didn't always work in my favors. So I had two jobs, you know, I wentn't home a lot anyway, so I was like, no, we'll figure out what it's on at home on my time, you know, if you want. And shoes cool with it because she they always let me figure out their problems, and which is my downfall because that kind of puts a lot
on my plate. But at the same time, it's also worrisome because I'm also like, I know, we didn't have parents that guided us growing up, so I can't help but to worry about them until just stay like do you all know what you're doing? Like, do you all any hell you know? But so at the time we were figuring out, she went back home whatever. I met my husband at my job, my second job, not my friend job. We knew each other growing up, but we didn't really know each other, so wet me and at
the liquor store, not the jail. But it was all because of a proposal, so they were bonding stuff for the proposal. So I really never gave him a chance. I was always like, yeah, I'm married. At the time, before and then afterward, I was like, I'm divorced and I don't want to really talk to nobody.
I'm sorry once say I just wanted to. So I just, uh, your current husband comes in. He's buying stuff for a.
Proposal, yes, for his brother.
Oh okay, okay, okay, I thought he met I thought he met you, like okay, no, no, no, no, no, it's I was just like, did he way more crazy? Yeah? I thought I was about to get right because I thought I was like, oh, he met you while buying alcohol for a proposal for his wife. Okay, all right, got you? Got you?
Never had a serious relationship like maybe once but beyond me. No, it's his brother, but at the time we we've been friends before, working together and stuff like in the past. But like I was always like no, you know, like I'm I'm very like consistent with what I feel, and I'm like if I'm married, I'm like no, And then you know, like things like that, like average people stuff.
So you you so you knew of this, So this, I mean it's a small town, like you know of this guy before he he comes into the store. Okay, got you got you?
Yes, he supposed to me want to talsk with like know, no, I shut him down every time, you know, And I never felt bad about it until i'd got with him, but I'd always shut it down like no, no, no, no, no no. But this time, I guess you just got lucky you because we I'd been divorced for a minute and all my friends, like I'm gonna brag on them, like all my friends are so pretty, and he came into my job and I'm used to all my friends getting all the attention, like and and I'm not knocking myself,
but you know, like I was just really not there, if that makes sense. Like I'd always be in the background, and he had walked past him like talking to him, and he was like hey at them, man, I was like, oh hey, And then that won me over like instantly, like that he went past the Malibu barbies and went to me.
That like, so you had kind of this feeling that like I guess, uh of like oh, like you know, you're you're not usually the one getting getting the attention, and finally somebody, you know, pays you some mind.
Yeah, because everybody in the small town don't pay attention to the goth girl. They're like devil worshipers, stay in your corner.
But that But but the goth, the goth girl vibe was what drew him to you.
Yes, So I was like, okay, very nice.
Very nice, very nice, very nice, very nice.
And I knew he played like music and stuff like that, so I was like, okay, so it's not just like a kink or a feish or something like that, you know, like like this might actually be what he's into som and so I was like, Okay, I guess I'll give this man a chance. Anyway, we hit it off after that, and he was kind of my saving grace. And I'm not trying to like, you know, fluff it, but he really was because I had no idea what normal was like.
So when I met him, he kind of like it threw me by surprise because it was like why is this meant so not to me? Like like who are you? What are you doing? Like he started seeing me and he was doing so many nice things for me, and I was like what the fuck, Like who the fuck do you think you are? Like, you know, just on
the defense, like I couldn't help it. That's just how it was, like, you know, like nobody's nice unless they have an alter year motives like in my head, I thought my mess and he kind of took me under his wing and he was like, hey, like you know, I want you to open up. I want you to share and start. So I started telling him how my life was. I and he kind of knew who my family was things like that, just because we live in the smallest town. And he had no idea because my
mom paints this picture perfect like Facebook life. I don't have social media, so I don't know, but from what I understand, picture perfect whatever. And so I'm telling him and I'm showing him like I have, you know, proof and all that. I'm like, this is what's going on in my life and he's like a gas like I can't believe that, Like and I guess it just blew me away because it's like, what do you mean? Like,
you know, I never really dated. I never I'd had two people in my life and that was it that I'd been with my whole adulthood of you know, serious things. And I was like, what do you mean like to
say to saying something you heard? And the more I'd tell him, he'd just be like, what, like you're you're joking, and then he'd see it, like he would actually get to see physical proof of it, knowing my family, and it just kind of blew him away because he didn't realize people could really be like that, like because he was used to his family being nice and take it on me in and like every moment that like someone was feeling something, everybody would talk about it, things like that.
He just he'd never seen anything like that. So he was like a ghast. I guess m h.
And hmmm. So this is when you were twenty three year this is about four years ago that you guys, yeah, not not me for the first time, but but do connects but your reconnects yeah, yeah, and then and then how does that relationship flourish? Do you guys move in together? Like what what's the sort of the timeline of that.
So at a certain point we do move in together. We move in and everything's going good and stuff. But he's starting to get to really see how my family is. Like he's he's like, oh my gosh, Like I didn't I didn't know. And at the time, my sister had ran off, which this is another side story, she had ran off from that prior relationship and she'd got into some wild stuff, and I guess kind of re enacted my mom a little bit because she got into a bad situation. I'd offered to help her and stuff, but
I didn't know what she was doing. So he was like seeing it and he was like, no, we can't get involved with it beyond that point. Like before that, we could offer her somewhere to go, but we didn't know what she was doing at the time, which was some drugs and stuff like that, and he was like, no, we can't help her be on that point because we don't know what she's bringing in. He kind of got to see how everything was going on that part, which was scary because I never encountered that with my own
siblings and stuff. And then my mom would get involved, and my dad was friends with his dad growing up and stuff, so there was always a lot of them stuck.
Up and auto your dad, your dad was friends with I'm sorry if I'm messing this up here, but your dad was friends with your sister's with your with your Oh no, no, mine, Oh okay, okay, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. I thought your okay, your dad was friends with your current husband's dad growing.
Up yet, OK, so we had we had no idea though, like we knew kind of, but we didn't know like how close everybody was. Like we had no idea because I hadn't talked to my parents in years, like you know at this point, like it's probably a good year before i'd spoke to my mom, So we we really didn't know the background of that, and none of that stuff is kind of shared. But it turns out they
were actually pretty close growing up and stuff like that. Yes, which is my mom's fifth husband and she had been she which was her third husband's cousin, Which is crazy backstory your mom.
Your mom's fifth husband was her third husband's cousin. Yes, that's a whole thing. That's the whole thing.
Oh yeah, Like when I tell you it's all crazy, it's all.
So I don't want to skip too much if you have some stuff to you know that you still kind of want to talk about. But I I I'm just I'm I'm very curious. So you're twenty seven, now, Yes, what for? First of all, and I actually probably should have asked you this about an hour ago. Have you talked to have you talked about all this stuff?
With a real therapist, So probably a while back, yes, but I kind of I kind of kind of gets old after a while, I'm sure. But we live in a small town. The therapists don't really stay therapists along here, if that makes sense. Sure, so you're having to retail your whole off to someone new in a matter of like eight months.
No, it's it's well, here's what you can do is now that you've told this story, you can just send any new therapists this podcast and be like, here's some homework.
Yeah, yeah, I suppose I could like here's a leek.
T L d R and then yeah, yeah, But so I mean, how are you, like, how are you doing now where we're at the future. I mean, you're you're clearly a very a very smart person, and just from the way that you present yourself, from the way you talk. And I know that the way that people present themselves in the way that they talk is uh not does not tell a full story of things, but you know what you you from the way you're presenting yourself to me on this call, despite everything, you turned out pretty
pretty damn well as a human being. Where how's your life going? How's your life going now at twenty seven, what's up?
Okay? So, to be honest, I'm having a hard time finding functionality in a career that is not law enforcement. That that's my personal struggle. So I'm trying to find myself a place not customer service because I never realized maybe after work in the field, I'm not customer service space. But me and my husband we are living with his family and we're trying to figure things out. We had
moved despite all bad things. My mom had hooked her sinks in probably about a year ago that we should come live with her, and we did for a minute, and then my husband really got to see our reality, like truly got to see our reality of how they were and stuff, and it kind of bid us regardless. But I you know, a kid wants their parents, that's
just natural human instinct. I thought she had changed because my stepdad at the time had promoted the idea that she was better, She wasn't what she was before, et cetera. We moved back in with her for a little bit and it just was awful. Ended up with me pretty much being their maid and stuff. Because I just can't help it. That's just my personality. I just aim to please, I guess is the common reference for that, and my
husband would get tired of it at the time. And so we were trying to get our gateway into being able to get our own home and stuff like that, because we wanted to start our marriage out building, and I guess it didn't really work out that way. But we're doing good beyond that because we got out of their grass of them constantly keeping us in that circle of cycle. I guess you would say of abuse, because that's really ultimately what it is. And he realized that before I did.
And how is your your son doing.
Great? Great, absolutely phenomenal, But he he shielded from a lot of things.
Nine.
Yes, I hate to paint that picture tomb that everything's fond, but I'd rather him have everything spond and everything's bad and the sky is falling.
Yeah, I mean it's but you know to yeah, I think to shield him from that. I mean, it's so amazing that you you grew up in like such crazy circumstances and now you have this op you have uh seized the opportunity to like, you know, do things you know better and right for your son. It's pretty cool.
Yeah, that's the best legacy I can lead behind is honestly that I did not let him go through an inch of what I went through. And that's the proudest thing I am is that he's never got to see a day of that life, you know.
Yeah?
Yeah?
And is it Does your husband have any kids or are YouTube both? Just like kind of taking care of of of the.
One, just the one I would like him in the future, But ultimately that fear lives within of I just don't want to repeat cycles. And I'd rather be on a good fit when we start that than you know, history and all that, because my son was not really necessarily planned, but he's a blessing beyond that, you know, regardless. But if I can keep it on a good fit of having one planned when it comes to making sure I'm of a good state of mind, of a good state
of mind, I'd rather do that that way. I know that my kids will never see a day of the life that I had.
And is every Is everything still cool with your ex husband in terms of like sharing custody and whatnot.
Yeah, everything did work out well with that. We did have a couple of bumps in the road, but it was mostly outside sources like he'd moved on for a bit. The ex wife didn't like me, and you know, like that's fine, she don't have to and I'm cool with that, Like she didn't have to like me. As long as we can coincide together, I'm cool with that. But she didn't want to coincide, and that ultimately led to separation and all that because she didn't want me in the picture.
But eventually that worked out. And you know, I didn't interfere, like it's not my business or anything. She just didn't want me in the picture and that one part of her plan and it didn't work out in her favor that she couldn't get me out of the picture. And so flow went on after that.
But so I got I got two things, is I think one I got a question for you then too, if you're down, I I am looking at the live twitch chat and I'll take some questions from them in just a bit if you want. But well, let me let me ask you this where you are now, Like I know that you're kind of trying to to find something outside of like law enforcement or retail. If you could like wave a magic wand and your life could be uh any way, that you you wanted it to be, what would what would that look like?
I'm curious business business. I wish it went into business. I wish I'd went to school for it. I never realized how well I am a kind of situation like I've been a manager many times before, and I didn't realize I was good at it. I'd been a manager a couple of times at a call center and Walmart and things like that. I'd never realized how good I
am at mediating. I mean, I guess that probably come naturally from my family, but maybe given that that was my role a lot growing up, was the mediator, I would have picked something in business like absolutely hands down.
Mm hmmm hmm. I have I have. I have no fucking idea if this is worth anything, but listen, I'll post this on Spotify and YouTube, and uh, I don't I don't know if the people of Spotify comments and YouTube comments can be helpful to your journey in any sense, but if if they can, I don't know. I don't know if we can get somebody a job via the Therapy Gecko podcast, but if we could, it would be cool. So you know, I'll post this and you know I don't know. Maybe maybe you can connect with somebody in
the YouTube comments who could help you. I don't know if that's a pipe dream, but it would. It would be cool if it could happen. You don't have you don't have, Like so you said you don't have any social media, right, Yeah.
Not really. I have Buttify, have that, but kind of just died down from social media after working in the field. I can tell you a crazy story about that, but I just kind of scared after a while. I had a woman the painted my name was her blood on the wall, and it kind of scared.
You had a woman who painted your name with her blood on the wall.
Yeah, at the jail.
Yeah, that's yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. Someone in the chat just said, I hate when that happens.
Me too, family, But uh yeah.
Well, look, you know, I'll post this on YouTube and Spotify. I don't know if somebody can help you, help you. If they could, that would be cool. But at least, you know, I'm sure there'll be a lot of people in the comments who are uh, you know, very very uh very supportive of your of your tail in general. Do you want to kids that? Okay? If I ask some questions from the twitch chat. Yeah, absolutely, go ahead, Okay, so twitch chat you can ask some questions real quick.
So and said, if you could move out of Appalachia, where would you go?
Maine?
Maine? Where in Maine?
Anywhere? I love Stephen King. He's one of my favorite authors. And you know, if anybody really reads any of his books, all of his books are placed somewhere up there, and I think it would just be interesting to kind of go there.
You ever you ever thought about writing writing a book or.
Something like that kind of Sometimes when I'm really stressed out, I go on word document on the PC and just top it all.
Hey, hey, be be careful or else you'll end up the vice president of the United States. Waka waka hold on? Uh oh, what's your favorite Stephen King novel?
Okay, so Needful Things is up there? Or I'm the Stan Needful Things are the stand mm. I'm not Mayors though, usually of like apocalyptic things, I just can't help it. That's usually my not Mariors. Oh.
Somebody said, did you and your siblings work things out after everything that happens?
Yes? Actually, my sister she had lost the baby last year, which had created an open way for me and her to work it out, because immediately I left my job. My job was like we're gonna fire you. At the time, I was working in nursing. They were like, we're gonna fire you if you can't come in tonight. I was like, fuck it, Like our family is more important. So I
told my husband. I was like, we're going to you know, I'm I'm trying not to give away my location, but we're going to go upstate and we're going to go see her and watch the baby, you know, with her because they're pulling outful life support. And we went up there and me and my sister made way and she'd got better. I had no idea she'd been working on
her recovery and stuff like that. But my youngest sibling, me and my youngest sibling have always been close, Like they moved a couple of states away, and I'd always been really close to them. Anything they needed, I was there. Just my middle sibling was the one we had a big fall out with. I just I couldn't be a part of what she's going through. And I tried and tried, but I just can't, like if it's it's at that point, But she finally got better, she'd lost the baby, and
I was there by our side. I'd made sure, you know, I didn't even care that I lost the job. I lost the job to go be with her, make sure that she's okay through that. And my mom made it hard, but I was. I was there, and she really made up with me at that moment, and we're still pretty close now. So yeah, we all made up.
Mm hmmmmm. This is a question I'm very curious about. Someone said, after all this, are you still religious or spiritual?
No? I hate to say that, I really do. I mean, there's moments, you know, in my nature where else I'll find myself praying. I can't help it. So m's instinctual. Because for those two years that I was married to somebody really religious and stuff, their family really helped me, and they were really good people, and they tried their best to make sure they didn't believe in depression or anything like that, but they tried to be there for me, and they taught me a lot of what being a
grown up was. So I guess some parts of that are sentiment to me. And there will be moments that I'll catch myself praying. But beyond that. I struggle with that category just because of everything that's happened to me, and not that I'm dissing it or denying it. I don't. I don't want to ever do that because I truly don't know what's beyond those realms and.
All that.
But I'd like to believe that there's something. You know, m.
Autumn, thanks a lot for sharing this, for choosing my My Silly Gecko podcast to uh share share this story. I mean, you could easily have written your own book or you know, I mean you still you still could, you still could, but you know that thanks for choosing this show to tell this story on. This has been incredibly interesting. I'm sure. I'm sure that I actually even I I kind of peaked a little bit on the Twitch chat and and saw us saw a little bit
of this. I'm sure that you're not alone and a lot of this situation and so you know, you're probably speaking on things that you know, I'm perhaps other people listen to the show UH are are familiar with. So you know, I I appreciate you sharing all of this and your husband for inspiring you to do it. How did it feel to and chat for an hour? And fifteen minutes.
Honestly, if I could say it, it's been good because you know, you could talk to someone you know all day and that's really wonderful. But talking to a stranger and telling your story is just different, if that makes sense. It feels like you're telling something off your chest that you couldn't tell to anybody else, even though you know you could, but it's just kind of like a weight off your shoulders.
Autumn, is there anything else, or any anything at all, any little aspect or any little whatever, anything at all that you wanna say to bring us home before we before we get out of here.
Sure, if you're going through anything like this. Even in my teenage years, I remember thinking like this, You're not here just to survive. You're not you just I know in this moment it might feel like you have to survive, but you don't. You just keep pushing and eventually it'll get better. Maybe right now survival, but eventually it's not survival. You get to live, So don't don't feel like it's just survival. You get to live at some point.
Mm hmmm hm. Congratulations on uh uh living your life and uh, you know, being being as prosperous as you are, and uh, thank you again for sharing your story with us.
Absolutely, thank you for listening.
Of course, have a good rest of the night, Autumn.
You too, Bye bye, bye bye.
There was a super intro sting call. I don't know if I have any post call thoughts. I really don't. Yeah, I kind of feel like that that spoke for itself. I don't know if I have any I don't. I don't know if I have any anything else to add
for that. That was cool. I don't. It's like it would be cool if like I don't know, I don't know how how we can help this person out, Like if she didn't exactly she didn't she I don't think she mentioned where she lives, right, is like okay, if well, look, I don't know if you own if you own some kind of business in the in the Southern United States and you want to, I don't know how we would do that. I don't know how logistically we would do this.
But if you if you own some kind of business in the Southern United States or Appalachia and you think you could help this lady in the leave a YouTube comment, I don't know if that's logistically the best way to do this but leave a YouTube comment and then if she wants, she can make a YouTube account and hop in the YouTube comments. But yeah, maybe we can do it in the YouTube comments. That would be cool. I don't know. It would be sick to get somebody a
job based on the Therapy Get Goo podcast. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I don't I feel like we don't usually do shit like this, but I was. I was very touched by this, this woman's story. It was really cool and I really appreciate her sharing. All Right, we'll be back. Uh, don't don't worry, guys, We'll be back next episode with a story about someone uh diarrhea ing at prom or you know, having three
testicles or something like that. Thank you all for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast show thing and see you all around the universe. Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night, never goes to ride.
He's teaching you a loud to be life, but he's not
Really an expert.