"MY PARENTS ARE POLYGAMOUS"

Hello, Hello, Hi.

How's it going.

It's going good, It's fine. Uh morning, I forget what day is today? Do you know what day to day is?

Unfortunately?

I do?

It's Friday.

Why do you say unfortunately you know the day? Do you wish to not know the day?

Nice? It would be nice not to know kind of what calendar day we're on and just kind of being like, oh man, today felt like a Friday, but today I was in such a great mood. You know.

Yeah, it's no. It's so interesting you say that, because I feel like, at our best we are forgetting what time it is. You know, in a sense, we're we're almost like, uh, servants of the calendar of the time. You know. What we do is is like we have to ask permission from the calendar to be able to do stuff like, oh, you can't go out it's a Tuesday night, or you can't eat breakfast it's eleven pm? Like why are our actions so heavily dictated by the

Exactly. That's well put. I think our lives would be a whole lot better, and I think we'd be a lot more comfortable with our actions that we take.

Okay, so Matt, Matt, that's your name, that is money, Matt. If you didn't know what time it was, do you know what time? You know what day it is, but do you know what time it is? Don't look if you don't know.

I don't don't know what time it is.

I don't know what time it is. So if you had the ability to never know what time it was or what day it was, what would you do with that? With that ignorance?

Hmm, that's a good question. I'd probably I would say I'd be asleep, but that'd probably be a lie because I think my circadium rhythm is already like set, so my body just naturally wakes up early. And I could be, you know, pretty drunk or as tired and out, just up for no reason and crash out at maybe like three am, and my body will just naturally be up by seven. Seven thirty is the latest. It doesn't matter what the circumstances is. I can just be totally tired,

Not working, not working? What do you do for work currently?

I work for a bank.

You work for a bank. What do you do for this bank?

I deal with loans.

You work for a bank, and you deal with loans.

I'm not trying to give out too much information just because I may or may not be on the clock, But I work for a bank with loans.

Okay, all right, So you work for a bank and you deal with loans, and you're not on the clock right now. But let's say you were on the clock right now and you were taking a phone call, perhaps with a gecko. What uh what like room in the bank would you be in where you can take a phone call such as such as this were you to take one.

Probably the utility closet.

Okay, So were you on a phone call with a gecko right now, you would be currently at this moment in the utility closet.

That is correct.

Okay. How big is this utility closet?

H not very big. I want to say maybe three by four at most.

And are you or were you on a phone call with a gecko? Would you be sitting in a chair or lying on the floor.

If I were, I would hopefully be sitting on something I couldn't guarantee the chair.

Matt, Yes, what are you sitting on right now?

It is a box, a box of cleaner, A.

Box of cleaners. And what are you looking at right now? Like what's in front of your face?

There is some loose vapor in boxes and it's pretty much just like coffee paper. Mm hmm, there's now disinfecting mm hmm mm hmm.

Okay, so it's a it's a it's a closet has utilities that is cleaning supplies, that has all the things that you would you would need in a utility closet.

That is correct.

Now, how often do you use this space as a escape from your job?

Oh? I want to say pretty often. There's some micro transactions that take place. If I have an important call such as this, m you get a way to take it.

So, if you have a business related call, will you take it in the utility closet or will you just take it in the office.

I wish I could, but no, it'd be more personal or leisure.

Now have you ever been walked in on taking a call in the utility closet?

I have?

And what was that experience? Like?

Well, it's pretty awkward at first, but you know, once people realize that I'm just trying to get like a quiet room and I kind of just put my finger up for a second, they realize that I can mute it, and then I just explained the situation. Hey, I'm on a call obviously personal. When you were.

Walked in on in the utility closet taking a call, were you walked in on by a boss or by one of your coworkers a co worker. See, here's what I think is the dangers of getting walked in on. Here's what I think is the worst part about getting walked in on and taking the call in the utility closet is that obviously, you know, if it's your boss,

Exactly. And I really hope that nobody kind of has a goal to take my utility closet because that would be pretty disappointing.

But even.

So, when I leave, I'll kind of put everything back in place to where it's not I don't want to say roomy, but as comfortable as it can be. So you want to kind of.

Are you cut now a little bit great place? There's not very good reception in the utility class. But Matt, are still there.

I'm here hearing.

Yeah, I could hear you. Matt, listen before we go. You know, is there anything that you would want to do besides be at the bank working with loans. I'm curious kind of what your your dream is, what you desire in life outside of the bank.

That's a great question. And there's two things that I would do, and maybe they could be interchangeable. But I've always wanted to be a writer and always wanted to be a therapist. So who was.

Well, I feel like, should you want to start producing more written work, you have a nice place to do so, right there in that utility closet.

Agreed, agreed, lots of paper handy as well.

Anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

Matt, Uh, yeah, you guys rock. Just be nice, guys, stop being idiots.

Thank you for calling Matt.

Yeah, take care.

I like that guy. He had a cool, calm demeanor to him, and he said he wanted to be a writer, and I meant what I said to him that he has a nice place to pursue that career in that utility closet. Because there's something about a very claustrophobic environment that sparks emotions that Matt can use to transmute into I'm not a writer, I'm not a poet, so I can't.

Nothing much, just hanging out and enjoying the stream.

Caden? Uh, what is going on with you? What would you like to talk about today?

Uh?

Hm, Well, I told this call screener I kind of wanted to tell you about my life. I think it's a little bit unique.

I guess please.

Where to start?

Uh?

It's kind of always weird to just tell someone this, but yeah, so I guess I'll just cut straight to it.

Uh.

So, I am twenty five years old. At eighteen, I got kicked out of my parents' house because I didn't want to, you know, believe that their beliefs.

I guess, well, it says you, can I say, can I tell? Can I say? What the Can I say? What the you? You told the call screener.

Yeah, please says that you grew.

Up in a polygamist household. Yeah, so does that mean that you had many different people who who you referred to as mom or dad?

Now it's still just the you know, one dad, the one mom.

It's and I.

Probably should have used a different word other than household.

It's.

It was an entire uh you know, religion community. And my dad still to this day has three wives and almost out a fourth.

And when when you were growing up, how many wives did he have?

Uh?

Well, my mom was the first wife, which is kind of its own like, you know, what's the word. I'm looking for the privilege status?

You know, it's it's it's you get extra privileges being the first.

Yeah, but it's like one of those unspoken rules, you know. But yeah, so sorry to answer your question. Uh mhm, my mom was the first, and I'm the oldest, and so growing up I watched him, you know, marry the other two and the second wive if he married, when I was probably uh six or seven something like that, maybe younger, and then the third wife when I was.

Twelve, I believe.

Hmmm, So okay, so the first one when you were how oled again.

Uh, five or six five.

Or six, Okay, uh, and so he just kind of kept adding a new wife every few years.

Yeah, I mean the fourth one failed.

But yeah, so tell me what was your like relationship like with these new wives, because you know, like my parents got divorced and my dad remarried and that was like my stepmom, and I kind of like, you know, that's a that's a a an established sort of family dynamic. You know, you have your mom and then the step mom is kind of a different relationship. But but this

Yeah, it's I'm glad you brought that up.

It's a.

It was definitely really weird at first. I remember pretty distinctly when I was like, you know, when he started dating his second wife or courting as they call it, and you know, she he started to go out with her, and it was really confusing to see my mom really sad and upset about it. And then like all of a sudden, you know, he there was like this sort of I guess you could call it an integration period

Hmm. You said that your you would kind of see your mom be upset when your dad started dating his second wife. So your mom was she like because I guess, I guess when I'm imagining this like polygamist community, I am imagining that your mom and dad kind of go into it both knowing what they're getting into, and that your mom, I guess I would imagine that your mom would like embrace it if it's like part of a religion that she's like on board with, but it sounds like that is not the case.

Yeah, agreed, agreed, And it's that's kind of a phase that I went through as well, or thought process when I a little bit after he married his third wife, which that one my mom took the hardest, And that's that's another thing I could dive into. But to answer your question, it was, sorry, I'm trying to put put together the words. I don't talk about this too much to people, but yeah, I definitely had that sort of thought process where it's like, well, you chose this, you know,

Yeah, yeah, her own you know, Yeah, I can understand that feeling. Did you feel like she was taking it out on you guys?

I'm in ways. I mean, she definitely tried her hardest, but you know, me being an adult now and looking back on it, like I definitely have a lot more empathy towards her for it, you know, because she was born into it, grew up and raised and you know, taught then this this is what God wanted from her and whatnot?

So right, So it's it's less of like a right because I guess at first glance, you know, you could be like, well, you know, I don't know why you're so upset about your husband marrying other people you chose to do this, But you know, at a at a closer look, you're like, well, shit, she was kind of indoctrinated into this whole thing. Sounds like against you know, her her will or or or against really knowing any better,

One at that point? I believe she was in her thirties and this third wife had just turned nineteen when

Right, right scenario, a lot of you know, comparing herself to the new wife.

Yeah, mhmm.

Are you an only child?

Far from it. I am the oldest of nine, including me.

The oldest of nine. Now when you say nine, is that nine with uh with your mother or nine total with all the wives?

Uh?

Nine total with my mother. Uh, with all of the wives and my half siblings. But I still like to consider them my full siblings in a weird way. I don't know, I grew up. I grew up weird, but uh, uh.

One twenty with a one total with all of them, and you consider them all to be you know, you don't, You don't make any sort of distinction. You you consider all of them your.

Brother Yeah, they're my family.

M hmm. Yeah. Wow.

As I've grown over the years, I've just kind of adopted or come to terms with where I've came from and how kind of like what they're going through and that you know, they didn't choose it either, and they're going through a lot of the same stuff and maybe their own stuff. That's a lot harder. So if it's something that you know, they were brought in by the same guy and beliefs, so as I was, so, I guess that makes this family so m hm.

And do all of the do do all of them or most of them or but you know, have the same view of everything that you do, or are some of them also kind of drinking the kool aid and staying in the UH In.

The cults, A lot of the younger ones are definitely drinking the kool aid my myself, and I guess mainly the older ones are drifting away from it. Currently, there's only three of us, three including myself that have.

UH left.

I guess m hm.

And you said you left when you were eighteen. Yeah, well, actually, let's say you got kicked out when you're eighteen.

Yeah, it was it was actually something that I saw coming. He was my dad was like warning me and way, but then you know, I think it was the day after my birthday that we went out into the the garden and he brought me alone, which was a little

And so.

I had a month and then I found a place and got out.

And this was seven years ago.

Yeah, or a little I'm my birthday's actually coming up.

This Sunday, So not happy birthday, man, probably closer to closer to eight. Wow. Okay, so all right, so you have about twenty one brothers and sisters total. Alright, So now I'm kind of curious about jumping ahead to contemporary times about what your relationship is like with all these people that were in your life growing up. Let's start with your dad. What was your relationship like with him? Now?

It's a lot better than it used to be. He and I growing up butted heads quite a bit.

And.

You know me, he almost took the stance of like he didn't kick me out, and I think he kind of still believes that to this day that he was just in his own way giving me like a stern warning, But that comes off maybe a little bit different to someone in that situation. So yeah, he and I definitely hashed it out a couple times after that, kind of laid everything out on the table, and so I think I think it's safe to say we have a pretty good understanding.

Now. Was there a period of time, like right after you left, where you guys just weren't speaking to each other.

Oh, yeah, for sure, I think I didn't speak to him. Well, actually, I take that back. I should say that growing up in there, the majority of like the the workforce labor in the community is like construction jobs, like blue collar jobs, essentially handyman, the technician, electrical uh technicians, stuff like that. And so I was actually still working with him every day after I.

Got kicked out.

Oh really, And yeah, so for a pretty long time, I you know, it was just like, you know, yes and nose to answer his questions and whatever I had to essentially, and he kind of did the same, you know, just almost acted like the both of us weren't there. But there were a couple of times those times that we hashed out. I mentioned a couple of times were on the job and the in front of some people.

And but yeah, so he you still had to work with him even after you sort of like left the I guess, I guess calmune and you would call it.

Yeah, h.

M okay. But you said that your relationship with him now is better. How often do you see him now?

Maybe once a month or about once or sorry, one or two months, every one or two months.

I'm glad to hear that things are going better with him. How many wives is he up to now?

Still?

The three?

He did try to get a fourth, let's say three years ago now, I.

Tried it, and yeah, how did he fail?

I don't know if it was necessarily him, which is actually a surprise that all of us. It was more

So I got I got a question for you. When was when was this fourth wife attempted to When when was he courting this fourth wife? Uh?

About three years ago?

Now was she?

Uh? Was she like your age when he was courting her? She was? Uh?

I think she was only a couple of years older than I.

So tell me now what your relationship is like, Uh, with your mom and with wife two and three?

Uh, with my mom, it's uh, you know, up and down still, which is another story. But the second and third I actually do have a a pretty good relationship with the second wife. She is honestly a sweetheart, and she has gone through a lot of her own struggles growing up there and in with our family. Our family is a whole mess in in and of itself in

Do you do you still work with them?

Uh?

No, I it was pretty much my goal ever since I got kicked out, or even younger than than that, or before is a better way to say. It was my goal to get out of that industry and you know, not work with them. And I was always really into tech, so I slowly got into that after I got out. I worked at call center for a while about two years, almost two years, and then after that I went to school for full stack software development and now my software engineer.

Oh that's awesome, man, I'm glad to hear that you were able to We've talked to people on the stream before who like have escaped from cults are just generally like,

Oh yeah, absolutely, And thank you for saying that too. Yeah, it's it is actually sad to see some of the friends that I grew up with who like, maybe they haven't said it directly, but kind of like what you said, it's almost like you can see them see it in their eyes that they don't see any other way for themselves.

Yeah, And it's really hard to do that with uh, because you kind of have to make that decision. Like not only not only do you have to trust yourself, you have to actively ignore what other people are telling you. I'm sure. I'm sure that like you have other like your like your friends and you know, uh, your family are like actively telling you do not do this, but you have to you have to go against that to find your own thing. And that's like that's super hard.

It's really good. I mean I should say that one of my siblings. I've had my own issues with them and her with me, but it's actually we we actually went and talked probably two weeks ago, kind of hashed things out in a nice way. Definitely not the way me and my dad did, but you know, just kind

You know, right, it's hard. I feel like it must be hard for you to like know, you're I guess boundaries you could say, is the word of like, yeah, you have, you have you have your six year old cousin, And it's like, you know, what is my place? What

Oh, yeah, for sure, it's a It's something that I think about quite often, and I'm always wondering what ways I can you know, kind of I don't have.

The words for it.

I obviously still have a lot of thinking to do on that, but I think we're kind of on the same page.

Is there a reason why you You said that you don't talk about this stuff a lot, and we've been talking about it for about a half hour. Uh, do you feel like there's a reason why you don't talk about this stuff with other people?

I guess it's I guess it's maybe just that uh that insecurity.

Uh, sure that I have about it.

Uh, you know this stranger dynamic that my life has been. And uh, of the people that I have told, you know, like it's it either does one of two things that they become extremely interested in my story or you know that aspect of me. And it's almost like, you know, after a while, we might become like good friends and whatnot.

And then.

That's almost all you are to them.

Right, I got I get the sense just now that that you you you know, I don't want to be you don't want to be defined by this because you because that's the thing. You worked really hard, all right, as we were talking about, to like not drink the kool aid, to go and like build your own life

Yeah, Yeah, like I I remember shortly after I moved out that I I kind of just you know, flung it out there almost when people didn't ask, and I kind of noticed, you know, those reactions that I mentioned, and it's and I was just kind of had that realization like, oh wow, this isn't what I thought it was, and it's you know, or people don't react maybe the way I thought I would. It was almost like I

And you want to.

And I know this. Yeah, sorry, I don't know I'm being a bit of a hypocrite because I did quite literally tell the call screener you know, hey, I grew up in a flick of his household, and I guess maybe just to defend myself, I probably don't need to, but uh, it's I've been wanting to call in the show for a while and just talk to you and maybe like get oh.

Sorry, no, no, you go ahead, I want to let you finish.

No, But to be completely honest, it's it's you know, I guess I wanted to kind of at least talk to someone outside of where I kind of live in that sense, like someone with a much different perspective than a lot of the people in the surrounding area that I live in. And if I were to really simmer down why I kind of wanted to talk to you because like even some of the therapists that I've gone and seen, I haven't even told them, uh you know

Sorry, well well no o, Kate. I wanted to ask you, you know, sort of to like put a cap on this, like what you know, I, like I said, I totally understand why you don't want to be defined by this thing that you worked really hard to escape from. And like, as we're you know, you've told other people listening to this about your story, and we appreciate your vulnerability and doing so, and like as as a wrap up, like what should we know about you as a person? How

Maybe just you know, I hope this makes sense, but maybe just me, like you know, like a twenty six year old guy that likes programming and playing games, and you know, just like and if that's that's like one small niche of or maybe aspects of myself, like because I know it's I think you've said it before, but like in one of your past dreams that like, you know, your past, where you grow up or what where you came from, doesn't define you, you know, And it's uh,

Kayden, is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Simplicity is complex, hmm. You are the simplicity. You are desiring or wanting well, probably require a lot of work and effort behind it to make it happen. And try and take it in small steps, break it down as small as you can, Digest what you can, and you'll get there.

Caiden, Man, thank you for sharing your story with us, and good luck to you in the future. With everything you're doing, it sounds like you've built a nice life for yourself.

Thank you. I appreciate that, and same to you. Lyle love the stream. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll be listening. I'll have a good one.

Go bye.

Let's unpack that. Caden, Caden kid, I've been using this phrase. I meant what I said. I've been saying that after a lot of calls lately, But man, I meant what I said to Caiden. It is a a tough, tough gig growing up in a community like that, and it's hard to when you've been told all these information about the world and how it works, it is hard to reject all of it and decide to form your own thing. That's why again, I think we've taken a sort of a call like this before, and I think I said

Yeah, I'm at an home, but my wife is here and she just said, oh my gosh, and she just laughed.

It sounds like you you're painting a very idyllic picture of your life. I can I'm imagining your house, and I'm imagining there's a lot of windows with sun pouring in and plants and a dog and nice carpet and stuff. Is that Is that accurate? Is that where you live?

All right?

All right, all right, o you mostly I think you actually hit a dead on fifty percent because we have a cat and we hate carbon.

What says here that you are calling me from the Netherlands?

I am calling you from the Netherlands.

Lyle, Okay. So did you move there or were you born there?

Actually, my wife and I were both born in the United States. We moved here June twenty twenty, three months after the welth War.

I don't know, however many months that is after you want.

To call when the pandemic started. We moved over here because my wife is actually just finishing up a master's.

Painting h.

And does she now do painting like as her career?

I mean, she's always done it since I've known her, you know. But she also is an artist of so many different like mediums. You know, She's made sculptures and installations.

And she draws, and she's done a charcoal piece.

Of my eyeball, charcoal piece of your eyeball. Do you have an interesting.

To her? I think, I hope.

So we're married.

So, so you moved in June of twenty twenty from the US to the Netherlands. Why the Netherlands and why did she? I know you said, because your wife was finishing up a master's But why did she decide to go to the Netherlands to do that? I don't know, man, I don't know.

No I'm just kidding.

No, we spent actually some years we've been together a long time, and we spent some years looking at different grad schools for her in various countries in the EU. And then you know, where we are now.

The school year is just.

So awesome, and like the feeling in the town and at the school and with the staff was just right on. So then we planned and saved and budgeted, you know it, googled how do you move to another country and stuff and for two years and then the.

Pandemic happened and we were like are we still going?

Yes?

Man, so you kind of escaped all of the craziness that was going on in the in the US at that time.

You know, that actually is a really good point that you make, because, like my wife just said, coincidentally, it's.

True, like living where we were to a lot of what.

Was going on was obviously right in front of our experience, and then coming here to the Netherlands, you know, and going through the pandemic was a different experience. But then watching sort of like the political and the street situations back home that was like, right, that was devastating.

Honestly, right, all right, what was the sort of tone, because I mean over here twenty twenty was just it was just fucking nuts, like every single day there was something crazy happening or you know, I mean it was it was just nuts. What was the sort of like the tensions just felt really high and everyone you know was was definitely under a lot of stress. Did did the vibe in the Netherlands feel you know, any different?

Yeah?

Definitely. I mean like there are so many levels for that too. I think you have like how the government looks at it, how does the average person look at it? And then you look amongst the group of people, let's say the average person that I just mentioned. There's so many different places that people come from and beliefs and so and and then as a whole it was just different. It's funny enough, like when we got to where we are now, specifically, there was like a very very like

Yeah, let me talk to her.

Sure, she's right here.

Do hile you didn't close?

Hello? What's your name? Dultonea dultonea.

Uh huh?

What do your friends call you? Dulcinea Dultonea. So you just finished up you just finished up a uh Masters in Painting.

I'm about to finish it and then like she's in hell right now, that's the way to put it.

Yeah, I'll be finished at the end of June.

So here's the thing that is interesting to me about getting an MFA and painting is like do you get a grade? Because this is like art, it's subjective, right, So how do you get like how do they grade on your paintings?

Yeah, it's a really interesting question.

Well, that's grading is very different from American grading.

It's not like A through F. It's one through ten or ten. I guess ten would be the highest, which is like almost impossible.

To achieve anyway, But how do they bring to I think it's really about like the professors really get to know what it is you're trying to achieve as an artist, and they grade based off of.

How successful you were in that. So it's not so much like how much do I like this painting?

It's more like Dulcinea achieve what she was trying to achieve with its work.

So you both moved to the now and you know it says here in the call screening thing that you guys find the Netherlands just in general to be a more tranquil place to live than the US. And I'm kind of curious while I have you guys here, Uh, what you would say, are are some of the key differences between living in the two places.

Yeah, there's a lot.

The first immediate sensory experience I had of it, I remember moving here.

And like going out in general volume of.

Life just being quieter not actually a really nice point. There are a lot fewer cars, I think, and I don't want to speak for the entirety in the Netherlands because again I think where we live is like I would call it maybe a small city, but there are actually i mean obviously a major city in America, the mouth cars is way way.

Less and the cars are quieter because they're mostly I mean there's more.

Electric car mostly like you know, well, yeah, I was gonna say I know that in Uh, I went to Amsterdam and over there it's like everyone's on a bicycle, which is pretty sweet because like you go to New York City and everybody is honking their horns and all the time. But uh, the the beautiful thing is because of the bikes everyone over there. Instead of hearing horn honks, you hear little bell chimes.

That's right.

But here's the thing, though, that little bell time or a filmings get the fucked out the way.

But it's such a polite way of saying, get the fuck out of the way. It's so much better than that.

That's true, that's true.

But I mean there's other differences too, Like Dutch people are a lot more direct than American especially a lot.

More direct than West Coast. We're from Seattle, and.

Like I would say, Dutch people are directed in a different way than like New Yorkers are. Like, because my dad's fa much Funny Coast, I'm very familiar with that energy too, and.

It's different. It's less like aggressive.

In the directness, you know, the way East Coast can kind of be, and like it's just more like here's the point.

There's no emotion attached there. It is not a lot of like.

Half of aggressive or like talking behind your back or beedback is such a thing here. Like even at work, you know, you give your direct feedback at a good company, let's let's say, yeah.

And.

It's relieving though, because you're not wondering.

You know, in Seattle, you're always wondering what someone really thinks experience.

Yeah, I don't wonder that.

Yeah, I think that's awesome. I I like I said, I went to I went to the Netherlands a while ago, and it's funny to hear you guys talk about the Dutch directness, because I experienced that and was talking to people there about that and they were like, yeah, the

Okay, well, attention Lyle and all Americans in the chat, and I'm sorry every one of the Netherlands, but you there's a really not there's so many really nice agreements between the Netherlands and the United States.

And if you can get hired from abroad.

From abroad, not only can you get a work visa as an American citizen, but you also get thirty percent of your growth income untaxed, and there are no income minimum for that. Yeah, so let's be clear, there are there are there's a list of companies.

There are rules about let's.

Say, how much the company has to pay for a salary, which, by the way.

It's not that depending on where you.

Live in the Netherlands again big city, so pretty expensive. But so it's not that you can get any job. There are there is a list of companies there. Let's say, might be like, I don't even know, I can't speak to like qualification.

What do you?

By the way, what do you?

What do you do?

I know you, I know your your your wife is a painter. But we I we never got into what you do.

Of I am a professional presenter and events.

Hosts, a professional presenter and event What do you what do you present?

Oh? God, dude, you know I mean, if you want it, if you got it, I'll present it. I'm presenting the fact that I have a I fucking lost my voice this morning.

Right now, tell me, tell me tell me the last tell me the last thing you presented. What's the last thing somebody gave you.

That's actually a really ironic way of asking me that lyle that I won't say why. Yeah, well it was not too long ago. There's actually a series of I don't want to get too specific, but honestly, probably even losing they'll know what I'm talking about.

I did a series of like pieces.

Of online content that we're a set of, let's say, like marketing campaign videos for a tech company that I was working for.

Okay, it sounds like you guys got a good thing going.

Dude.

You said it at the beginning of this call. You were like, oh, Pat, you're painting a picture of an idyllic life.

I have to admit the fifty.

You got wrong with my dog and my.

Carpeon.

But the fifty percent you got right was this amazing life we have here, this amazing life I have with my wife, we have together with our cat in this beautiful country like we are. We are really lucky.

And our Dutch friend who is with us as well.

Any none of this whole time.

No, who's your Dutch friend?

Uh?

She's right here and she's amazing.

Yeah.

Uh, let's let's let's end this call by talking to Lola. Is is she willing to talk on the phone?

Okay, if she comes, she comes.

Hello, this is Lola.

How are you doing, Lola?

Well, I'm always enjoying the company of my great American.

Friends here, did they?

They didn't tell you to say that, did they?

No, not at all?

How did you? How did you meet them?

That's very interesting, actually, Dulcinea, she just founded me on Instagram when she when they just had moved here, and of course, like you don't know anyone when you moved to another continent. So she was just like looking around, like the location tag here's a really great tick when you were like.

Moving abroad and my rophile and sent me just a nice DM. And when I read her message, I was like, yes, you're my friend. I can tell, and like now we're bestie.

Really, she just went on the location tab on Instagram, saw your face, was like I want to be friends with this person. It just sent you a message, complete stranger, out of the blue, and you were like hell yeah, and now you guys are friends.

Yep. Of course it was a nice message, like and like the way that she phrased everything. I was like, oh my god, you're exactly my kind of person. Our whole friendship has been just so it met yep.

And my friend with Patty too, you know, like of course there are two pieces of the pod, so you kind of get a package deal here.

That's amazing that that that that just happened. So like serendipitously. Have you made a lot of friends like that and these sort of indirect ways?

Me?

Yeah, you uh.

Yeah, I think I actually I do think so, you know, I always like to be very intuitive with these things, and well so did Bills and am and you know, normally I would be the person to make such a DM. You know, I was like, oh my god, like a person like me.

Hm hmmm mmm. So you saw her sort of have the courage to reach out to you, and you were like, oh, I'm this kind of person too, you know, let's be friends.

Ye mm hmm.

Have you been to the to the you said your name is Lola. Yes, have you been to the US? Lola?

I have not?

No, mmm, because I was going to ask, you know, what, what do you think is?

Uh?

Are are sort of the superior parts of living in the Netherlands, uh that that you perceive over living in the US.

Pool there's many things. I think the government being pretty honest with you.

Mhmm. I like the h is that where you're abut to say yeah, yeah, exactly like I.

I I love being directed it's just true, you know, like I don't like it when people.

Are passing the graduate with me, you know, because it's just in my eyes and.

In many other Dutch people's eyes, disrespectful, you know, like be honest.

Mhm. Have you ever had a time where you had to be honest with somebody and it was difficult for you?

Of course, it's still difficult, but there's there is there's a line.

Like that you can be honest and still be polite.

You know, it may not be pleasant all the time, but there's no need to be disrespectful or rude. You know, that's something different.

I love that, man, I love you guys, this whole story, dude, it's it's really cool because I think all the time about nuking my life, and I'm sure a lot of people listening to this have had fantasies of nuking their lives and moving to a foreign country. And you know, it's cool to see that it worked out for for Patty and what's what's his wife's name again? Dultin Patty and dalton Aa, and that they were able to meet

I I honestly didn't know about your show until my friends you talked to me about it, Like no clue.

Be nice to other people, that's what's important.

I love it, Patty Dalton, Aya, Loola, thank you guys for calling.

Thank you so much.

Lying and I think shout out to just fugging whatever.

I mean, thanks for taking our calls like a dream.

Yeah.

So we me and Patty love your show. We listen to it all the time when we're stressed. It's just like it's then to have it on.

Thank you.

Hell yeah, thank you guys very much.

Man.

I'll talk to you guys soon.

Okay, talk to you.

I've I've started bringing back talk to you soon. I'll end the calls with that. Sometimes, even though I will probably never talk to those people again, but it was great to talk to them for the amount of time that we did get to talk to them. I uh, I mean, let's dive into that call. I loved I loved that. That was great.

This.

I know I've said this about three times already. I'm gonna say it again, but I do think all the time about like, uh, you know what if I just left my life behind and went to a foreign country, and it's awesome anytime you hear from people who did that and it worked out for them. I love the thing between Dalton AA I hope I'm saying that right and Lola where she just went on Instagram did the the geo location thing, found Lola and they and now

Never beat goes on the line, making your phone calls every night.

Everything goes to his I

Was teaching you a loud in the mid of your life, but he's not really an expert.