“MY HUSBAND SEXTED A NIGERIAN CHATBOT”

Hello, Hey, what's up? What's your name?

We're gonna go buy her bagdads today.

Rebecca, what's going on? How's life? Uh?

You know life? And I guess what brings you to the show?

Huh so much.

I think I've texted you a million things, so I don't know. I don't know which one you want to talk about. I'm down to talk about any of them. I think the most recent was like me being angry at another person on the podcast?

Who who on the podcast? Were you angry at that guy?

Jose?

He was just like lying to you and then making you stay on the call, And I was like, what is why is he doing all this?

Dude? It's so funny. First of all, shadow Jose. Jose's a legend, Jose's a hero, but for some reason, so like, it's so random. That was a phone call about absolutely nothing, and it has gotten way more uh reception than any phone call recently about anything. Yeah, No, Isaiah was a good guy. I don't know it was. I mean, people were mad at me. They thought I was being a dick. I was just having a conversation. I felt like, well, people were mad at me, and then they were mad

I think he needed done more than you need a DoD Well.

No, I mean he felt like he felt as though there was something wrong with him, and I was trying to tell him that there were there There wasn't. He was he was exactly okay, just existing as who he was.

Yeah, I get that, but yeah, So, I mean, I don't know how far you've gone in my text threats.

Okay, we're just talking, and so I actually did. I'm not looking at the thing. We're all exactly. We're on the phone right now, We're in the moment. What do you want to talk about?

All right, Well, I have a funny story.

I have a funny.

Story that happened to me like two years ago. Uh huh with my person who I am currently now married with.

Uh huh.

So I'll try to make a sure But basically, he was like texting a bot and he thought it was like a girl, and he like sent nudes and she sent nudes and then turns out it was a man in Nigeria, scamming him for money. And then he was like, hey, I wanted to confess to you, and I was like, yeah, what's up? And he was like, well, this is what happened. I'm being extorted for money from somebody who was from Nigeria. What should I do? And then I was like it

You know?

But also side note, I did marry him so I can get legal documentation in the United States, but also because like I've been with him for a for a long time. But it just felt very weird knowing that this man was sending newts to a man in Nigeria thinking that it was a woman and marry him. Yes, it was a problem for me, but I think it was okay because we'd been together for over four years. It was kind of just to me, it felt like this was like the end all be all, even though it shouldn't have been.

Wait, I'm sorry you felt like what was the end all be all?

Like this relationship?

Wait?

Wait, I'm trying to understand why this was not a problem for you.

No, Okay, So The only reason why it was not a problem was because I was trying to look past the problem. I was trying to get papers essentially.

Okay, and how okay, And now you guys are married and you looked past that, and how is the marriage going?

Okay?

So like this, it's a whole ball of bs. But basically what happened is we were not good. So maybe about like seven months ago, we kind of took a break and then I don't know, I think I would consider this. I would say it was an affair because I met somebody at work. I started working at a restaurant and then I do back a house and so I met somebody at work, and then I was not seen the man that I married, right, and then I was seeing this new guy. We're gonna call him Joey.

Talking, and a d during this time. Are you with your husband? Like, are you like to get married?

Yes, but no contact like maybe two texts throughout the month or something. Oh okay, so legally yes, okay, married by uh huh?

So are you Roman? Who are you romantically involved with your husband? Well?

Now, yes?

Where are you from California? Why do you need papers?

Because I was brought here when I was like three years old.

Okay, all right, so you don't have a US passport? I don't, Oh shit, damn. But you've been how long you've been therefore?

I have been here for twenty five years, damn, bro.

And you still need to fucking marry a crazy guy. You still need to have a horrible relationship to uh America?

Yeah, literally? And you know what, And there's obviously like good parts and there was a lot of good parts, but also a lot of horrible parts that I literally had no idea were happening, you know, because I feel like, naturally, I'm a very loving girl, and so I think I'm very trusting, and so this guy, like I just one time got like a hunch and looked through his phone.

Okay, And I'm the problem? Why do you? Why are you the problem?

Because I think I'm just too trusting. Same thing with this guy Joey. I feel like even though like I really liked him, I really enjoyed the time I was trusting. And then how in a month are you already with a girlfriend?

And so who are you with now? You're with the guy who sexted the Nigerian chat Bob? Yes, okay, and how's and again again I've moved in now okay, So are you with him? With him? Or I'm kind of trying to distinct the differentiate between who you're with for papers and who you're like actually romantically involved with.

Okay, So I'm with him for papers, the guy that was texting the Nigerian Bot, and then currently we're trying same person. We're trying to romantically be involved.

But it's hard.

Because it's like I went through so much with yeah at.

The okay, but at the time that you were sexting with that, he was sexting with the Nigerian Bot. Were you guys in a committed relationship?

Yes?

Okay uh and Okay, how is repairing that going?

Okay? So we do have conflicting work schedules, so I think I like, I only see him during the weekend for a few hours because I work at Baker hours, So that means I'm at work by four am and he is going to work at one pm, and then he won't get off till eleven pm, and then I get off at twelve thirty pm, so I have to

Okay, so I've never yeah, okay, so essentially you guys cheated on each.

Other, yes, but he said more times. I know it doesn't justify it, but you know.

Okay, all right, So at that point, it's like, all right, you did some things. I did some things. Let's let's start from scratch. That's kind of where we're at this right now. Okay, And are you enjoying being around him? Do you actually want to make this work or is it just for the papers?

So I'm like a little bit of both. Right, So at this point, it's kind of like getting papers is really expensive. I'm glad you don't ever have to go through that, but it's it's really expensive to try to just even get documents, Like I have a work permit and I have to pay just recently almost six hundred dollars to be able to work here and pay taxes,

So I would say, does he also seem as though he is enjoying it, like he's.

Making I think so, yeah, for sure, like financially he's being very helpful. But I also don't know if that's also you know, a little bit of guilt that he have.

But her parents are still in the country.

So my mom actually left a few years ago, and she's like doing really well over there.

But my dad, Yes, where is she from?

My mom?

Yeah, Mexico okay.

We're from Mexico City, Okay. And so she's over there doing her things. She owns a business. She's doing really well over there. My dad is here and he just he has his own business and he's doing He remarried, you know, that's another situation. Remarried, bought a house really far, so he moved to Lancaster now, and so that's about like two hours from where I'm at. Okay, mm wait, are you still in la.

Right at this very moment? Yeah?

Yeah, wow.

See.

And that was the funny part is Joey was supposed to go with me to go to your show, and I was like, oh, you know, and he was like, yeah, buy the tickets and then we're going. But then he ended up like no, never mind.

So Where are you? Where are you coming? Are you coming to the show?

No?

Not anymore?

Okay, I was about to say I'll see you in three hours. Wait did you still wait? So you bought a ticket? You're not going?

Yeah?

Why are you going?

Because I'm like, I don't have anybody else to go with.

By the way, okay, listen, here's the thing. I see the numbers of some of the shows, not all of them, but but listen, you're not the only person who's bought a single tick get to the event.

Yeah, come to the show.

It's in like fucking two hours.

It seems like, yeah, like I should go, but I'm just like, you know what, I've worked tomorrow four am again and then to drive back to La.

You wait from where?

Wait?

Do you live in La?

Right?

Well, okay, so my friends make fun of me because I use stay LA, but it's like technically La County. So for example, like today, when I got off work, it took me an hour and ten minutes to get back home. Yeah when typically in the morning, Yeah, four am, we're talking twenty five minutes.

Okay, Well what's so what's up with Joey? Wait? So you were gonna go with this guy. Wait, so you were going to bring your mistress to the show.

Yes, and you were.

You're not afraid that, Like, well I don't, You're not afraid that, like you know, what if I'm what if I'm like recording it and then he's like in it and then you get you get caught.

No, because the one that was texting the Nigerian bot, he actually like I try to get him to listen to your show, and he just like never wanted to. He was always just like, oh yeah, that's funny whatever, and I'm like, you don't get it. And then Joey on the contrary, like he would actually like listen and like we would be in the car and then he would like, you know, comment about it. So I knew that he would have been the person that would have enjoyed it more.

Okay, but you're happy in your marriage too. I'm just gonna call him the Nigerian guy. You're happy in your marriage to the Nigerian guy.

I don't know. That's where I'm conflicted, because it's like I think I'm just kind of forcing myself. But again, it just feels like I don't know, I'm mad that like Joey is with this girl in a month, Like.

Why are you still thinking? Why are we even still talking about Joey? You're married to the Nigerian guy.

Well, yes, but because I thought that, like, you know, it was not going to work out with the Nigerian guy, and then I thought, like, you know, maybe Joey and I would would have been together.

Okay, but that's it. But now you're with the Nigerian guy. So if you're thinking about Joey with the Nigerian guy, then But.

That's what I'm saying is that I don't know if I'm happy. I'm kind of like, am I settling?

It sounds like you want to be with myself?

Yeah, but I think that's too late.

It's probably it's a little too late to be with Joey. But then what's the point of being with it? But then why don't you But if you don't even want to be with.

This guy the leapers because I need papers.

Yeah, but you can like break up and not get divorced.

Yeah, But then the thing is like, is he gonna let me get papers? I need him to physically be there, and you know, like I can pay it. I can pay for the papers and stuff, but he needs to sign like legal documents and do the whole thing.

Why did he agree to? But he's like sected, Why did it sounds it doesn't sound like either of you want to be with each other. Why is this even happening?

I think?

Okay, so he has changed a lot since, you know, like I've forgiven him all those times. And it was more than just the Nigerian texting that guy, right. It was the girls that had dms me and talking about hey, I met up with him, blah blah blah. It's been more like girls from like the UK get I literally it.

Has to be.

I felt like a crazy person because one time this girl commented he has like another page, another Instagram page where he does photography, and this girl commented like so natural, just very much like oh my gosh, such a cute picture, some dumb shit like that, right, And I was like, why is she so comfortable commenting that with hearts while you and I are together? This was before we got married, and so then I was like, hey, girl, you know, just wanted to check in, like is there something between

And he's yeming with people in Nigeria. I don't think he's got uh like.

A ratio location.

Dude, this is what what is the I don't I don't understand. I don't understand the point of you guys, Like why, like, what is neither neither of you, neither of you want to be in the relationship. Why are you doing.

For papers? It just it seems like convenience, you know, I think, but.

At what point is it like like you're here to be in the US to do what.

To live?

Because this is all I've known my whole life. You know, you can't be like, hey, go back to Mexico and then I don't even know what the hell that looks like. You know, we're talking like you were here broad as a baby, and what the hell am I going to do over there?

What do you you have a baby?

No, I don't have a baby.

Oh okay, I think said brought you a broad as a baby. Oh okay, okay, don't well, don't have a baby. That's a terrible idea.

Oh no, trust me, I'm very much anti kid.

What's your name again?

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

Yeah, I have.

No solution for your problem. I mean there's I mean I do sort of, but yeah, you're gonna have to just break well, you have to break up. But like I guess the whole thing is like if you break up, what's the point of him? But he doesn't want like, but what's the But here's the thing. He doesn't want to even be in the relationship anyway. So there so there's no point. So even even if he is married to you, there's no point in him going to these

I think. Again, I think it's mostly kind of maybe it could be the guilt and maybe he feels like he has to help me at this point, which is what I kind of feel like, maybe that's what it is. But I do also know that like you know, like we've been together for so long and like it feels like there is love there. Okay, but you know, as conflicting as all.

Of this, how long you how long have you been together?

Seven years?

Okay, he'll help you with your pay, he'll help you with the papers, but like I think he'll help you. He'll help you with the papers. But but just if you're doing this thing, where like now that if you actually want to be with each other, then like, you know, I have a conversation about it and be like, hey, you know, listen, like you want to hang out with these whatever London Instagram models, I want to hang out

Yeah, you know what, but I've tried that. I've tried that, and he like refuses to let go, and I also refuse to le go clearly.

Yeah it's hard.

Yeah, I know.

Nicole Rebecca Rebecca shits. Who's Nicole?

It's not my real name. Don't worry.

Oh I don't know where Nicole is. But is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Fuck dumb kids, Thank you, good luck, good bye, but you around the universe, See.

You around the universe.

Toodle's poodle?

Hello, Hey, what's up man?

Who is this? Yeah?

This is the gecko? What's up? Man? Who is this?

Whoa? This is Joe?

Joe? What kind of name is Joe?

It's it's like, you know, like the average Joe you.

Know, are you an average Joe or are you or are you more than that?

I'm pretty average. I mean, I don't know, man, I'm just some guy. I'm just a man. I'm just some guy. I'm kind of lost though.

Do you feel like you're a regular guy?

I feel like I'm more than a regular guy. Sometimes you ever get those like those small instantaneous like bursts, like I feel like I'm the fucking dog today. Can I cuss on ears?

Okay?

Yeah? Why do people always ask me that I feel like I'm I always get offended, not offended, defend is the wrong word. But I like, uh, I'm like, have I am I too soft? The people have to ask have to ask me that.

You sound so chill, Like you don't sound like a guy who cusses, you know what I mean?

Like I don't sound like a guy who cusses.

No, you don't, dude, Like I take you as like a very sweet guy. I feel like I feel like you're one of those guys. Like if I was with a group of guys and you were there and I was cussing, you would tell everyone to like calm down a little bit, you know what I mean?

Really?

Ah, man, oe, dude, maybe maybe we need to smoke and we together and figure it out.

I I don't know, I mean, I try to. No, it's funny there. I mean, I've been in some like social circles in my life where like, uh, people have said certain similar things to me. But like, I don't know, I seem like I don't cuss, I don't like that. It feels that feels uh. I don't know. That's interesting. I appreciate this is an interesting way to get a grip on how I'm perceived.

But you seem very nice.

I try, man, I don't know, I'm going.

I mean I would I would sit down if you were at a bar. I would sit down with you if you're by yourself and buy your beer.

Thanks. Man, Well, I'm going insane. I'm going insane.

Sorry, I'm going insane. Bro, I'm looking you lost right now?

Why are you going? And so tell me why you're going insane? Son?

Okay, So I'm looking at a musician. I like to play bass. So I was in this music store. I'm in Teteluma right now on a getaway trip with my girlfriend and dude. Her phone just died and she says she's going to a bookstore. And then there's like five bookstores near me, and I went through like three already, I'm kind of losing it and I'm lost, and I don't remember where

Dude? What is Petaluma?

It's a little city, it's by It's it's in like is it the Nooma County or something? I can't remember. It's in California.

And what are you doing there again? You're on vacation.

Yeah, it's a little getaway trip for me and my girls are six years That's cool.

And where is she? You can't find her?

Heyde a bookstore, She's told me a bookstore last because I was in this music store for a good minute. I walked out and I see like one bookstore going it, couldn't find her. I go another one, couldn't find her. And then I kind of just gave up halfway. And now I'm sitting here on a bench.

And where do you think she might be?

There's I mean, there's two more spots I could go too, and I'm halfway with my joint, go to the two spots. Okay, should I finished my joint first?

How much do you have left in the joints?

Like it's like a halfway you know those a little stizzy, like those little stizzy half joints, like a little half rams.

Oh okay, I thought it was like I thought. I thought Stizzy was a was a vape company.

Dude, That's what I thought too. But then I went into the disco recently and I saw that they had joints. I was like, let me try that, and dudes, good deal. I thought there'd be more of It's only five little things. I'm kind of a heavy smoker, so I kind of killed it with the day.

How did you meet your girlfriend six years ago?

Did we meet in high school? Yeah, well she was I was sixteen, she was fifteen, and then we were in the same grade. We're both sophomores at the time.

We met.

There a mutual friend that I don't I don't talk to you anymore. That's some actually more crazy stuff about that. That shit too, But we met their mutual friend and then we.

Hit it off.

Actually, she slid in my DMS. Actually she slid in my DMS before we actually first met, which is crazy because normally like want maybe the other way around.

I don't know, No, not necessary. I think there's a lot of there's a lot of guys who like the reason they have a girlfriend is because they the girlfriend DMed them, like they made the first move, you know, Doude.

The thing is, I'm not I never really, dude, I was a hermit growing up, bro, Like I played games, I played bass, I played bass guitar and then fucking dude, yeah, I just I was that kid who was just like you know, and I did boxing for for that for a little while.

But dude, I did. I was a hermit growing up. Bro.

I did not pay attention to girls. Really, and this girl's young me and I was like, okay, do.

You still identify as a hermit?

Yeah, low ki, dude, I'm still a hermn like really bad. I'm trying to break out of that sometimes.

But yet you're lost in Paloma.

Yeah, I'm lost in Pedaluma, dude.

Why did you choose Pedaluma?

We showed, oh dude, Pedaluma. Well it's actually Napa, but we're staying in Napa. Pedaluma is like a sister city to Napa. NAPA is actually like one of the greatest cities of wine. And I like to get drunk. So I got really drunk yesterday off of wine, like a lot of wine.

Gonna, how long have you been lost?

Now?

What if minutes? Okay? Have you tried calling your girlfriend?

Her phone is bad, bro, her.

Phone is dead. Her phone is dead. Okay, that's a problem.

She did not charge your last night.

Does she typically do that? She she a classic.

She's on it, but she's she's always on it. She's a smart girl, like she's always on top of her stuff. But dude, we got so drunk and so hammered that I really, I really don't know how we got home. Say I, I don't drink and drive. People, this is online and you're listening to me. Please do not drink and drive.

Don't. I don't know.

I don't remember how I got but or to the hotel, but it happened.

Mm hmmmm hmm okay, okay. And she's either in this music store or in this bookstore.

It's even in this bookstore. I was in the music store. I was fidgeting around on this base I liked.

Okay, hmm, oh, I think you guys should break up. You're ever going to find each other.

I should wake up. We're not going to fight each other.

You guys should break up. You guys did Yeah, I mean this would be grounds for like I feel like in the in the fourteen hundred so this would be grounds for a breakup, just the fact that you can't physically find each other.

I would I would want her to sell.

I would want her to like.

Get a horse though, Like if that was the case, okay, at least get a horse. Yeah, like a horse. You know in the fourteen hundred three they would trade with animals and livestock. Mm hm. So you know, I feel like it'd be okay if she got at least three horses.

Dude, what's the highest number you think you could count to.

I'm not good at math at all.

Gag. That's why I do construction.

What it was the last thing you built as a construction worker? What have you been building?

Uh?

I did like rough carpentry for a house. So it was just like the framework of it. But you know, even then, like me and my bro homies get hammered and just build. It's like it's like it's like legos, Like you're an adult with legos.

You and your homies get hammered and build houses. That sounds really dangerous.

Yeah, it sounds really fun.

Okay, maybe I am. Maybe I have gone soft. Maybe I have Maybe that.

Is That's what I'm saying. Dude, I got you, I got you right there?

Got you?

Is that really what true? Do I sound? I don't know. I don't like uh, I don't know. I say I'm telling you no.

I mean, dude, I'm not a party animal either, And I still living on the edge. Dude, I live on the edge.

You've been living on the edge. Yeah, sometimes at the end, do you like being on the edge or do you want to get back to the center.

I like to be on the edge, but my girlfriend likes to keep me on the center.

M Okay. And your girlfriend's more uh put together than you?

It sounds yes, dude, she's way more put together. Dude, I am. I'm like think of it as like, uh ever sent the movie Twins with Ronald Solszenegger and Dane Devio.

I've heard of it.

Yeah, so the movie is like basically like they're twins, but only one of them gets the good as genetics, and that's Ronald Sowlschenegger's character who's at the big, buff, handsome one.

I like my girlfriend and I'm Dan de Vide.

I'm like the small, fat, stinky one. Mm hmm.

What's your dream for the future?

My dream for the future, dude, I'm like lurki as sorry musician right now, Like I'm kind of in my own band and I'm just like, I haven't put anything out yet. It's just what I've been struggling with is finding like a good tone for my bass, because I'm just bass and drums like a little shitty piano that I use.

Well.

And what do you make music about, dude?

It's like punk rock music. It's like experimental punk rock. So I'll like, I'll make like catchy jingles kind of and I'll just like, I don't really like have a voice, dare. I'm still trying to work up to getting a good voice. I kind of just like say stuff that that I want to get off my chest.

Mm hmm. What do you want to get off your chest? What was the last thing you expressed musically?

Well, dude, I haven't posted anything yet. I have like a little vault like like four songs that I like. I'm still kind of working on One of them is kind of just about like influences with people that like got to me and I kind of hated that. That's why I like I tell people like don't hang out with fucking drug addicts or fucking just just don't hang out with alcoholics people. It's it's not worth it. It's you don't want to be around.

People like that.

Was that you at one point?

That was that was me at one point? Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Oh what what influenced you to change?

Dude?

It's gonna sound so corny, but it was my girlfriend.

I in my cat.

Do you have a little baby cat that I love? He's like two now, he's like my son.

How did your girlfriend convince you to change?

Dude?

I literally, okay, I'm twenty two now, and I don't know why, Like do gag. I was like so stupid and like I did so many stupid things that I look, you had this like like a role that I was gonna be like dead in the ground by eighteen. It was like sad, And honestly it's sad when I look when I look back at it now and like, I look, you just had no purpose. And I guess like I don't know, like like I like, growing up, it was

But it's like.

I kind of just found out that there's more to life than certain things. Like I remember I was on a shroom trip with my friends, and like I was sitting on the beach and looking at like the sky, and dude, I sort of got it was like pink and purple, and I could see like the galaxy out there, like it was like Super Mario Galaxy out there. I was to shoot up in the star and go up in space and collect some little like those little dust

To being a water person would be crazy. We're kind of like water people are made of water. We're made of water. Did you know that we're like what water?

I think it's like seventy five dude. I think ninety per water is like too much because how like how is our blood split up of water?

Like?

How does that work? If we're mainly water? But where's our blood? So wouldn't you be being made of more water than blood?

Definitely?

You know what? I think you should sit on that bench until you figure out the answer to that question.

I should, dude. You know what's on your what's on your mind?

Geg?

I always want to like figure out.

What's going on with you? Dude?

What's your name again?

Name is Joe? Joe?

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Can you guys please check out Rotten Dog. I'm gonna it's My band is called Rotten Dog. You can find me on Instagram.

But rotten dog. Okay, hold on, let me do right, I have rotten rotten dog.

Yeah, like d A W G Dog.

Rotten dog.

Yeah.

I have like a little cartoon.

All right, I'm gonna look this up, are you? Oh you have the cartoon with the green yeah?

Cool?

Oh my god, wait, get I see my girlfriend?

I see her.

Wait, yes, I'm leaving her down.

Okay, all right, go go go talk to her. I followed you on Instagram. We'll keep up.

Oh my god, wait, can't you say hi to you?

Real quick?

Sure?

Okay?

Also about my band music will drop Sune probably within like a month or two, so please, Okay, here's our girl friend here.

Hello, hey, listen, just I'm I'm gonna hang up now. I gotta go. But with just whatever, it's just this guy. I forget his name. I'm bad with names, but I followed him on Instagram rotten dog. Hi. But listen, it's it's just just do me a favor. This this gentleman, this guy that's in front of you, he's he's a sweet guy. He's a good soul upon this earth. You know, he's not you know, listen, look after him. I mean he's not your responsibility. You you're your own.

You guys are people.

He's a broad ass man. He can take care of himself, but you know, but he's a good guy, and so are you, and thank you. I'm sure. I don't I don't know. You could be a multitude of things. But I have try to put trust in the Uni verse, so I'll put my trust on you.

Okay.

Is there anything that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

I don't know.

Let me give the phone to him.

Actually I want to say, I love my girlfriend. Uh, you know, thank you, Jesus, God, God, bless somebody. I don't know. Not America, though America's on my it's why not multitude things?

Dude?

Well no, I mean why rotten dog. I'll see you around the universe on dog.

Yes, dude, I'm coming at you live anywhere. You're going to see me, get go give me on in the future with you, I'll be rich and famous.

You're you're you're on. You're with me, You're on the thing with me right now, there's no the go.

Ahead, dude, I'm going to your freaking show in San fran Oh cool.

Okay, sweet, all right, I'll see you that all right, all right, you can come on stage, you can freestyle, okay, okay, cool, I'm excited. I'm excited to tell me, give me. I don't want any more information about this mask. I want to see it in person. I'm very exciting.

Okay, okay, cool?

All right man, I'll see you that.

Can we can we both chuck and a beer together.

I can't promise that, but I can promise we can say what's up?

Okay?

All right, all right man, I'll see you on the univer I'll see you in San Fran.

All right, I bet dude, I'll see you run the Universe and then San Fran.

All right, man, I'm excited to see what the hell what this mask is this week?

Fun dude, Yeah, no, you'll you'll see bro, I'll post.

You okay, cool man, okay, cool, al right, I followed, I followed you, Rotten Dog, right, I'll see you.

That are you for real?

Yeah? You're the green Dog?

Right? Yes? That is me?

All right man, I'm excited. I'm I'm looking forward to this this mixtape.

Thank you, bro.

All right man, you take care.

Awesome, you take better care. Thanks you taking more care than I will myself. Yeah you too, man bybe.

Hello, Hey, what's up?

Man?

What's your name?

My name is Brett.

What's up, Brett? What's going on?

Not much?

Not much going on. I'm actually taking a break from from work right now.

And what are you doing during that break?

I just tried a new restaurant, the Chicken Place, kind of Nashville Hot Chicken. H I found out it's it's a restaurant by Shack.

Oh.

Yeah, is it any good?

Its delicious?

Okay, in my opinion, a little bit over priced, but it was really good.

Yeah.

What's how much for like a chicken sandwich?

The sandwich itself is like twelve bucks?

Okay, Well you can just get a sandwich. You got to you got a combo. I assume you got some fries. You gotta drink.

Yeah, they they got me. They got me on the on the good stuff.

They got you on the good stuff. What's your name again, Bett, Brett? What would you like to talk about today?

Uh? Good question.

I think I I texted you something about how this is kind of thing that me and my friends have been talking about recently. We're all similar age, around the age of thirty, some of us a little under some of us over and we're experiencing this collective feeling of how like cool simple things are. Yeah, alright, I'm in my car now, so I should be able to hear

Yeah. I think it's because like the older you get, the more I mean, the more I guess supposedly the older you get, the more you've done and the more you've seen, and so because of that, it's like the novelties kind of wear off and the simple things are kind of all you're left with.

Yeah, I can see that.

Kind of like a little bit of maybe like a sense of stability too. Yeah, but just having appreciating, like the simple things in your day to day life make you feel a little bit more more grounded, maybe is a better word for it.

Do you feel more stable now?

Uh? Yeah.

In the past like year or so, I feel like I've kind of taken a turn where in my early to mid twenties it was like I felt like an over aged teenager, if that makes sense.

Well, which still kind of.

Oh.

Just I feel like, or at least another thing that people say around here is like thirty is the new twenty. Just shark with society and how expensive things can be. It like takes your early twenties to figure out how to be an adult.

M yeah, you need more. Yeah, you kind of get like a fresh start, it seems.

Yeah.

Yeah, So I kind of feel like I got through that, and you know, I've got a pretty decent job, a bigger yard from my dog, like all the things that a few years ago I knew I wanted to get to, I'm starting to get to.

Is there anything left that you haven't gotten to yet?

Oh? I'm sure.

Yeah, I've always wanted to. I mean, I've done a very bit of traveling, but I want to do a lot more traveling.

And then.

I've always felt like once I own my own home would be like a very big adult thing. Although in my area that's not super realistic, but it kind of feels like that. I feel like the sensation I would expect from reaching that milestone I'm kind of reaching in this in this current house that I'm renting. I think I feel like it's giving me the same kind of fulfillment.

And what does that what does that sensation feel like?

Yeah, it's a good question. I haven't tried to like put words to it. I guess it's just kind of like maybe just like less more more peaceful, like a sense of calm. I'm not so worried about like what I need to do next in order to start, in order to progress towards what it is that I want. I can kind of take a step back and appreciate the moment a little more. Yeah, it sounds like a like a super grand statement, but that.

Sounds pretty normal to me. Yeah, that sounds pretty normal to me. That's what I'm Yeah, I think that that's uh yeah, the older you get, the more you kind of crave a little bit of peace and a little bit less like all right, what do I gotta do next? But my brain works in a sense of like, uh, it kind of oscillates, like you get too stressed out and then you want peace. But then, at least for me, when I have too much peace, I get I get antsy. I'm like I gotta if I gotta find another thing

Yeah, yeah, I actually I totally get that. I recently, there's been a ship ton of stuff going on in my life in the last like six months or so. And I actually wrote you an email not that long ago, which you may have not seen yet.

What was the email, but in it.

Really quick summary in the last six months, my dog had a life threatening emergency. He's fine now, totally fine. My father in law had a two strokes and he's recovering. And then we found out that my mom has stage four stomach cancer. Oh no, right around Christmas or so.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, I mean it was a lot.

Obviously, there's I think it's I want to say, it's a good thing that it all happened at the same time. But it did kind of give me some like intense perspective, I guess, which is probably tying into feeling all of these or appreciating all these simpler things in life.

Yeah, what kind of perspective did it give you?

Yeah?

So in the email, I also write about, uh this, I forget which episode it was, but you were kind of talking about how you were traveling or you you oscillate between like this itch to travel and experience the world, and then you come home and you're like finding joy in the fact that you have bananas on your counter.

Yeah.

Sure, Yeah, there's a lot of joy just having bananas on your counter. There's a lot of joy in film, like yeah. Person Like when I when I I'm in California and I was visiting a childhood friend of mine and I went to his house and he had like a real apartment like where like things were like set up and he had like a blender and a spice rack and it like, you know, he was like, Oh,

Yeah, it's definitely a balance. I feel like if you asked me, you know, five six years ago, if I thought being a middle aged adult eating yogurt at like a cafe was cool, I'd tell you absolutely not.

But now that's awesome.

Yeah, no, it looks it looks great. Yeah, it's a great day. It's a great day being fifty six years old. You're like looking at something, You're not thinking about anything, You're just in your life so deeply. That's I hope that's me one day. I really do. I get so pumped when I see that, especially in New York, I get so pumped when I see that, Like that could be me one day. I could be fifty six years old sitting right there eating yogurt, not fucking thinking about anything.

For sure. For sure.

I think that's that's the best part about it is you can you can look forward to it, but you can also do that kind of thing right now to an extent.

Yeah, yeah, you can do that thing right now. I mean I've talked to older people, and a lot of older people have told me that they have way less anxiety at their age than you know, in their in their twenties and thirties.

Yeah, that makes sense. You just learn more about the world.

I feel like maybe part of it too, is like you kind of have to go through that phase or that other side of the coin where you do travel and go experience things that there are to experience to really have as much knowledge about the world and kind of release yourself from all that anxiety and stress realize it's not such a big deal.

Are you What are you most stressed about? Now?

That's a good question. Day to day.

I work in a retail management so I can be a stressful environment. But I'm not sure that I would say I'm necessarily stressed about work, because in the grand scheme of things, it's like so trivial.

I feel like more so if I kind of.

Dug deeper for an answer, I'd probably just be more stressed about I don't know, like taking advantage of the time I have.

Is that makes sense?

Well, I mean, looking at a dog and go being in your yard is a pretty good way to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's kind of why I feel like I'm That's why this banana thing is stuck in my head. It's like, I don't think you were trying to say anything provocative, but for whatever reason it really stuck with me. Was like, just focus on the simple stuff and enjoy it, and you're less Your time is gonna feel like it's wasted.

Let me tell you this too. What's your name again, Brett?

Right?

Let me say I saying Brett. I'm in a hotel room in San Diego right now, and there is a Reese's fast break wrapper and an empty bottle of Gatorade on the night stand next to me, and and I feel insane. And when I am in my apartment and there's just like bananas on the shelf. I feel I'm craving deeply having bananas on my shelf. So I I you Actually, it's funny. You're reminding me that it feels good to have bananas on your shelf. I don't think I've had bananas on my shelf since that pot whatever

Yeah, I can't remember. I can't remember what was actually talking about.

But you started.

He just asked you how you were doing, and you started talking about that in like the first ten minutes of the episode.

Yeah, yeah, okay, we're going to get back there. I'm inspired by by this conversation. Thank you for thank you for reminding me where I need to be in this world again.

Yeah, well, I mean you're out there doing the the Flip Side right now, because didn't you.

Just start the tour.

I did start the tour. The tour has been fun. The shows have been fun. I have it's it's a it's a worth it trade off. The shows have been fun. We did the American Comedy Company in San Diego last night, and now we're doing La tonight. It'll be fun.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it'll be fun. What's your name again, man, Brett? Brett, Brett. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Yeah?

Just uh go get some bananas, put him in your house, look at him, eat one of them.

Yeah. Yeah, just choose to choose to have a good day.

Perfect. Hey, thank you, Brett.

Yeah, thank you.

I'll uh, I'll actually be at your your show in Seattle.

Oh cool, Oh okay, I think yeah, that'll be in uh like a month. All right, I'll see you in a month, Brett. Yeah, see you awesome, thanks man.

Yeah, I have a good wie.

Hello, Lyle, what I got to hey you? I sent you a text that it was at a blues jam in Belgium.

Oh you're at a blues jam in Belgium.

Yeah, yes, indeed, indeed have been.

Go ahead.

I've been trying to call you for quite some time and I'm a big fan.

Man.

I I listen to you all the time when I'm stretching or brushing my teeth.

Fuck.

Yeah, thank you man. What's your name?

Peter?

Peter?

Is my name?

Peter Peter from Belgium At a blues Jazz Festival.

No, it's it's a jam.

It's just a bar, okay, are you there by yourself?

Well, I've been living here for ten years and in the beautiful city of Ghent, so when I go out of it's just people I know.

You know, ooh that's great, that's pretty juicy. So you've just been living there for long enough that you just walk the streets and you're you're you're the man of the people of uh what the what the hell is the name of the city Ghent? He a n t okay, So you're just the man of you are the man of Ghent.

I am a man of Ghent. But yeah, I get around. I get around. So it's like you say, you just go out and you do stuff and you get to know people. You see them once, you see them twice and just like you would struck up conversation.

Pretty good, pretty good, hm hm. So what made you want to go out to specifically this jazz place tonight.

It's a place I I'm a regular here. So it's called the Mississippi, but not like you know, the spelling of the river. But it's like Missy as in a missus and sippy as in pacip A drink.

Oh, okay, that's a pretty cool place as I'm sorry.

We have a lag because.

Blues and blues and roots bar a couple of jazz places in Ghent as well, but this is more blues focused. And we just had a jam. It was with a Syrian player and he had a sauce, which is a very special instrument. We didn't expect that we were going to play with him, but we managed to somehow make something cool of it.

Yeah, what is the roots.

Like blues and roots music?

It's like country folk Americana. So actually closer to your culture than ours, really, m hmmm.

Do you listen to any Belgian music whatever the hell that might be?

Belgian music is more like pop music. I do listen to a lot of to some Belgium music, but I mostly listened to like old English seventies eighties progressive rock bands and this and that.

Okay, who did you run into today at the jazz bar that that you knew?

There's this guy called Emil and we're starting a project right now. We're trying to start a band like a cover band, but with a twist, with everything is played a little bit lower and a little bit slower, and I ran into Laura. She's a girl who goes around here as well, and I invited a friend as well. Hannah's a pretty cool girl. She knows a lot about Star Wars.

She knows a lot about Star Wars. Why does she know so much about Star Wars.

I guess it's I guess it's the age man like around people are born in like I don't know. I'm I was born in ninety four, and I think people until like two thousands, two thousand and one, two thousand and three, they were all brought up with Star Wars, you know, And that's why she knows a lot about Star Wars.

Does she know who wins the Star War?

I think, well, you know, I don't take an account like the sequels because there non canon for me. So for me, like the Rebels win, Like you know, Star Wars was based off like the Vietnam War, so I think Vietnam wins the Star Wars.

I thought it was based off of like World War Two, and like Darth Vader was Hitler.

Well, I think the uniforms of the of the storm Coopers were based off of of the World War two uh Nazi uniforms but the Star Wars were actually based off of the Vietnam War because they've got the rebels or hidden in the jungle, you know, like in the third movie, well, actually the sixth movie, and the empire is the United States.

Oh so the way is the empire? Okay, Oh so the rebels are Vietnam and we're the bad guys. And well, I guess not we your you're Belgium. So I guess the US is the bad guys.

Yeah. Well, well, you know, I gotta tell you something.

I was I was a little This call comes a little bit late because I've I've had so many ideas about what i wanted to say to you, And I'm looking at my old job right now, which is a big gass tower. It's all the belfry. It's a tower where tourists can go climb to the top and get a view of the city, you know, like a panoramic view, singy. And I hated my job. I hated doing it because it was always the same thing, and it's always interactions of only like ten seconds. But you meet a lot

You know, Yeah, of course, I've always felt that way. I mean, it always depends. I mean, everywhere in the world is has you know, people who are jerks and people who are nice. I don't really the question of what makes somebody who they are is such a there's a multitude of factors, be it like you know how they were raised, and you know the country, and there's there's so much it's hard to it's hard to say like, oh, the people in this country or this or the people

Generally?

I think we are, like especially in this city. The reason why I stayed this long I was born in Belgium, But anyway, it's because people are quite open here and quite talkative. But I think in general people in Belgium are a little bit closed off in comparison to the Netherlands, at least where they are more direct and more open.

Wait, if you skip a step, they'll find you weird. What does that mean? Like, what does that mean to skip a step?

Well, you know, you got to go through that whole dance of who is this person and this and that you cannot over over share in the beginning. They'll kind of find you weird or are off putting. That's the feeling I have, at least in in in Flounders, because Baltimus is like three parts. You have like Flounders, and then you have Bologna, which is in the south, and then you have like Brussels, which is the.

Capitol in the middle.

You know.

Yeah, but people in Flounders I feel like they're kind of closed off. I feel more spiritually connected with people from the Netherlands or from the US or Australia like all kinds of people who are kind of really open and you can just tell your whole life story and it'll be okay and you'll be us buddies.

But in no time, do you feel a stronger kinship two folks from US and Australia?

Yes? Indeed?

Interesting?

Is it?

So you've do you have you spent much time in either of those countries?

No, neither neither. I think I'm gonna wait a little bit until a certain president is is done in the US and then I'll I'll take a look there. Might wanna see some nature parks and this and that. I'd love to see Australia too, but you know, traveling costs money.

Yeah, yeah, what uh? What's the what's the Belgian government look like? What are they doing? What are they worrying about?

They're fucking up?

No?

Oh, man, If the Belgian government is it's really hard to explain because we have like a Dutch part of French speaking part and then a German speaking part, and we have multiple governments. It's it's really too much to explain right now. Anyway, How are you doing, man? I haven't seen the Ukraine video yet, but I'm really excited to see that one. And I think what you're doing with this traveling around and showing the real side of people is a really great and admirable work. Naol.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate that. Yeah, I'm trying to Yeah, I'm really really really trying to like make that my next thing. You know, I'm trying to make it so that, like I mean, because I post that stuff now and people are like, oh, he's trying a new thing, and I'm like, I'm trying to make it like no, that's the thing that I do. But it's going to take some time. You know, it's going to take a lot more videos. I'm just trying to kind of keep my head down and focus on

Maybe yeah, India.

I'd like to go to India. People like kind of talk ship on India a lot, and I want to. I want to see it for myself, like you just see what what the what the vibe is like.

I think India has some tropical environments and I think that's good for a get go, right, I'm not sure. I know, I don't know the most of.

The get gos.

Oh my god, I really I have to tell you something about geckos guitar. I have this guitar and I painted geckos on it.

Oh that's really cute. Do you play guitar or you just have a guitar?

I played the guitar. Yeah, I played the guitar, so I'll send it to you later on. I bought this trap and it had geckos on it, and then I thought like, hey, I'm gonna just paint some geckos on this guitar as well, in honor of the big lyle of the of the gecko.

Thanks man, thanks man? Uh do you do you are you? Do you ever join in on the jazz jams?

Yeah? I did last week in a jazz club called the Hot Club. And it's like these free jazz sessions. I'm not really a jazz musician, not scholared, but it's like free jazz, so you can do whatever you want, just listen to the other people and just like it's its freedom.

Man, cool cool. Who's your favorite jazz musician of all time?

I think Chad Baker definitely, like John Coltrane, love him. Bill Evan's when you feel when it's raining outside, get can? I think in New York it kind of rains a lot, and it's kind of like jeary autumn weather. You got to pull out on some uh some Bill Evans I know, and then just stare out of the window, very melancholically, and it'll h.

That's what I do. That's what I do with Simon and garfunkle Is. I go out and I listen. Dude, if you ever listen to the Only Living Boy in New York when it's like snowy and depressing in New York, it's a great vibe.

Hmmm.

I will remember that. I will remember that once I'm in New York. Hey, are you doing the I r L podcast soon? Because the weather is getting better?

Right.

Well, we'll go back to do the r L podcast soon. I just haven't haven't been in New York in a bit, so when I get back home, i'll do that. But what's your name again?

Man?

Peter, Peter Peter Sellers, Peter Pan Peter Griffin, Peter, Peter, Griff and Peter, is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Uh, just trust your gut and if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.

Hey.

Thanks, Peter, have a good rest of your evening jaunting around Belgium.

Yeah, so you're under universe.

Take care man, all right, that's cool. I'd like I'd like that. I'd like to be like a known guy around Belgium just fucking uh, just fucking bar hoping running around. Goes on the line every teaching you