Call from Nina.
Hello, Hello, what's up. How's it going?
Hi, it's going pretty good. I did not expect you to pick up. This is crazy.
What's your name? Nina Mina or Nina?
Nina like? And I am a N with an N. Yes with an N.
That's a stupid thing to say, N with an N. That was you know how people say like b as in boy. That was the opposite. It was like ooohs and boo. I had no new information on the second line. I was just saying about that nonsense, you know what?
And that's okay. I feel like people fuck up the phonetic alphabet a lot.
Thank you, n Nina. Yes, it's very forgiving of you. What were you going to say?
I was gonna say, how's your day?
Knowing how's my day going? Uh, my day's going okay. I'm in the middle of a lot of mental reorganization. H But I think that that is kind of a constant of life. Things keep moving, something ever stays the same. Uh what about you? What's up with you?
Me?
And what made you want to call the Gecko Show today?
Well, I like, I always listen to your podcast, so I just really wanted.
To call in and I guess I was like kind of like an.
Ongoing issue that I don't really think there's a solution to.
I guess interesting.
So yeah, yeah, sorry, I kind of have to make this a little quick because I am at work. But yeah, so basically I don't really like have a great relationship with my dad, you know, like he just consistently is not really there for me in the ways that I need him to be, like emotionally, Like he's there for me financially, but like that's not all like a person needs,
you know. And so basically like we constantly will get him to like fights about this because he doesn't like understand that you know that you can you have to show for someone in multiple ways. And he also like when I try to kind of like curate that relationship and build it, he'll like constantly like use anything that I say, like about myself like against me.
But it's kind of like a.
Difference, I'm sorry, or he'll use what you say about you against you. What does that mean?
So, like, for example, like I had like this ex boyfriend, and like I was telling him kind of about the situation because we had broken up, and I told him that like my ex boyfriend had said that he thought I was a bit selfish, and my dad was like, yeah, your ex boyfriend was right, you definitely are selfish, and you like told me that like while we were in an argument. So it's like things that I say, like in my life, Like he'll use that against me.
Who but what's your dad's what's your dad's deal? Like, who is he is the person? What's what's give me?
Okay?
Yeah, so he has a lot going on himself too, Like he was adopted and he also like was adopted by a family that was like not really great, Like my dad's a black man and he was adopted by a white family.
And so it's just it wasn't really like a great like mix up. Like they they were.
Like kind of I would say, abusive, I guess. So he never really had like a great like upbringing. He ended up like going to like jail for like a year or two, and then he got out and like he became a lawyer. So now he's a lawyer, So he has like a really like crazy upbringing.
But because I don't are here your mom still together?
No, So they were actually like.
They only dated for like a little bit, but then they had me when my mom was like twenty and he was like twenty thirty or something like that.
So they were like just dating. They were never married or anything like that.
Hmm. And so should I go up? Uh huh yeah, yeah, go ahead, go ahead?
Okay. So should I go on about like the actual issue at hand?
Oh?
Sorry? Sorry, I didn't I thought. Uh I thought you did get into the actual issue. Let's hear it.
No.
Sorry, So, like, so he's there for me financially, like I'm in school now and he's able to, like I guess, like pay for that stuff. But like I really hate like talking to him and being around him and stuff like that. And if I like try to like not talk to him or listen to him, he like will threaten me like to like stop paying for school or
something like that. So like I feel like I'm kind of like really stuck in this situation because like I don't really want to talk or interact with him, but like I need him to be there for to pay for my school.
Ooh interesting, okay, yeah, okay, So the dilemma is that your dad is not like interacting with you, uh in the way that you need him to like be there for you, but you also are still reliant upon him financially exactly. But also but in addition to that, there was also a genuine desire to interact with your dad on the level that you desire to, not just purely financial motivation.
Yeah, no, it really wasn't. I feel like I just tried so many times, and like recently in November, like during Thanksgiving time, me and him got into like this really big argument and he said like a lot of things that were like really hurtful to me. And I just feel like I can't be around someone who is going to, you know, put me down and isn't going to be like contributing to my life in like a positive way.
Yeah, that's really tough. And I'm I I Mina.
Me and or Nina, Nina, and I am I heard an end?
I heard an end? Yeah, Nina, first of all, Mina, I I'm really uh genuine, I'm very sorry to hear that this is going on with you and your dad, because uh no one fucking you know deserves that from their parents. Yeah, you know, it's it's it's it's not cool. You deserve better. And uh I'm sorry that you got unlucky.
Uh in this situation because uh, I mean, that's the that's a really tough but kind of sad thing, is that the onus after you've kind of done your best to express these feelings towards him about your relationship, you've kind of seemed like you've put everything that you've got on the table, and for him, it's like it's it's it's such a bummer because you can't force anyone to be any way other than they are. All you really can do is put yourself on the table. And it's
a bummer because you see, you're his fucking daughter. He should he shouldn't be, you know, telling you that you're you know self. He shouldn't be, you know, he should really be trying to appeal to you as his daughter. So that's that's a shame, and I'm sorry about that. Now. As as far as like what do you do, like
do you keep hanging out with him? Listen, I don't think if you wanted to stand on your own principles of whatever and say, you know, fuck it, I'm gonna just try to figure out some other way to make this happen financially, or take out a loan or do do it whatever you know, if if that was the decision of integrity that you wanted to make, I don't think that there would be anything wrong with that. But also if you if you swallow your pride and you
were like, he's my fucking dad. I'm gonna try my best on my end to honor this relationship I have with him. I'm gonna do one hundred percent of my part of trying to be a good daughter, whatever whatever that means to you. And if you go to bed at night and you go I was the best version
of the best daughter, whatever that means to you. I was the best version of myself in this in this relationship I have with my dad, And you know what, that's good enough for me to go to sleep at night and feel like I tried, and you know, I can kind of suck up whatever's coming from him. You know, I don't think I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. But I think there's a way to if that's the route you want to go, I think there's certain ways to do it that kind of still protect
your peace. That's one of them. Is I feel like in a relationship like that, where you approach it as best as you can within your ability, and sometimes that means just like if there are if he's trying to pick a fight or he's doing this, he's trying to agitate you, and you just try to take the high road every time, and you're like, I'm not gonna escalate things with him. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna disengage. I've put myself out on the table. I've told him
what I'm willing to deal with. I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna disengage. I'm not gonna take any bait. I'm not gonna you know, I'm just gonna spend the minimum amount of time around him as I need and then be like, listen, man, I'm trying my best and the rest is on you.
Yeah.
So I don't know if that was helpful, but that's my ponder about it.
That's kind of the conclusion I came to already. But like it just kind of sucks like a lot, and like it also is like really annoying because I think, why me and him clash laws because we have very similar personalities and we're both pretty prideful people. So like swallowing my pride is like a bit hard for me. But I mean, I've like this kind of in this situation, I feel like there's actually no winning, so I've kind of like decided I kind of just have to do it.
Mm hmmm, hm, no, I feel I feel for you, dude. It does suck, like it's it's ha's your relationship with your mom? What's her? What's her?
Actually so good?
I love my mom so much. Me and her have an amazing relationship and we're super close. We talk every day, and I feel honestly feel like she's like my best friend, Like she gets me, I feel like on every.
Level, So like that's wow.
A positive thing that I feel like I have out of this is like my.
Mom knows my dad.
She's been a him for longer than I have, so she like kinda is able to like give me reassurance and like able to help me navigate how to handle things with him in the way where I'm still able to like get what I need financially, but like not be her emotionally. Mm hmm.
What's your mom's take on this whole thing?
She is kind of just like.
She kind of thinks one, I should kind of just fake it till I make it and then like because I still have to go Like right now, I'm in like my third year of school of university and I still have to go to like medical school or that's my goal. So like I still have like I'm gonna have to rely on my parents for a little bit. So she's like either faked so you make it, or just kind of don't like you know how he is,
So it's like, don't let these things affect you. But of course that's easier said than done.
Right right, m how long have they been a part for? How long have they been divorced or separate?
So they were never married, but they've been a part for like my whole life, like since I was born. They've pretty much been like not together.
M M.
Well, I'm glad that you know, at least one of your parental relationships worked out pretty well.
Yeah, I'm really happy about that too.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Again, don't streuss stuff out about too. I I I feel for you. It's a bummer having a parent that is like not supportive of you in that way. But yeah, my my my feeling is that like after you put yourself out there, the onus is really on him. He's got to make a separate call. We'll talk me and your dad.
That'd be interesting, No, I've I I wish that would happen, but I don't know. I feel like even if he like we me and him have had conversations about it, and like he's kind of been honest with me, but I feel like he like weaponizes him in his like childhood for like to like be the reasoning for why he can't like build this relationship now. But it's also like you're forty years old, like get your shit together, you know, yeah.
Of course, or like forty five no, yeah, yeah, at that point you gotta get your fucking shit together.
Yeah.
I feel like there's only so long that you can really like be in that mindset. And I also feel like that's kind of common with people like today, honestly, Oh.
What just like blaming childhood trauma for a little too long?
Yeah, or just like yeah, like yeah I would say that.
Yeah, uh yeah, childhood trauma and shit like that.
There.
It's good for uh, it's good for getting to where you are now if that information is helpful to it's good for understanding yourself, but it can't be like this continuous, uh road block you have to you have to kind of want to get that's what you have to kind of want to get over it. And times and some people they just don't like have the desire to get over it or the strength and the energy. H and I yeah, I get why as it gets older, as you get older, there's less of inclination for that.
Yeah.
I feel like people just have to like want to help themselves. And if you don't, obviously there's going to be no change and you're just going to be stuck in like the same cycle or same place.
That you're at.
Mm hmm. What are you going to school for?
Behavioral neuroscience?
Behavioral neurosciencience? Okay, what have you learned anything about what you should do in this situation from a behavioral neuro science perspective?
I mean, like.
Hm, honestly, like no, I mean I'm not like super psych We're more like biology.
Do you ever like think of yourself as a rat pulling a lever?
Honestly, yes, a little bit.
I feel like I keep pulling the lever that is the relationship with my dad, and I keep getting the same result, so it's like I'm not learning at all.
Oh yeah, yeah, damn isn't that the whole point of behavior in our sciences? We make rats pull a bunch of levers, and then that tells us whether or not we're supposed to repair our relationship with our father.
Yeah. Yeah, honestly, that is like the whole point. But we do a whole lot of fucked up shit to rats.
Can't lie.
Yeah, yeah, you think you think the rats? Ever? Do you think any of them feel like they should be serving us humans? Do you think any of them are like, like, I will gladly give my life to humanity so that they can like have a have like this cool perfume or whatever it is, like the martyrs.
Honestly, no, Like I definitely don't think they think that. But also I don't think they think that far.
But I don't know.
The stuff that I've like or the studies that I've read about like the I just things that we're doing with the rats, like to prove whatever they're trying to prove. Sometimes it's just the law.
Nina, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Oh?
I guess just like, never give up on yourself.
Beautiful, Thank you Nina?
All right, No, go have a good day.
That was Nina. Mm hmm, yeah, man, that stuff's a bummer. I feel like it's just another one of those situations where like you can't force another person to like exist in a different way, although sometimes you get lucky and you put yourself out there in some way, shape or form and people are receptive to it. I feel like I've seen people change, but they have to kind of wanta hello, Hello, Hi, what's up?
Oh my gosh, no way, nothing, what's up with you?
What's up with me? I'm in a room. It's kind of dirty, it's a little depressing looking. Uh, it's dark, there's clouds. I'm looking at a Gatorade zero bottle. It's half full. It's kind of beckoning me to drink it. But it's a little too far away for me to feel like getting up to go get it, so I'm gonna stay here. What's your name?
My name is Maddix.
Did you say that already?
No?
I don't think So what are you doing, Maddis?
I am sitting here with my boyfriend and just watching him play a game and calling you. And I can see why people say they get nervous, because this is make me nervous.
Now, what game is your boyfriend playing?
What are you playing? Rivals?
Marvel Rivals, Marvel Rivals. I've heard of Marvel Rivals. This is not a psyop ad for Marvel Rivals. It's like one of the most advertised fucking games. I feel like I'm seeing is it like, uh? Does it have all the like uh Marvel characters in it?
Like?
Can you play as like Spider Man and shit?
Yes, yes you can.
I don't know much about it and this is not sponsored by them, So.
Can you do me? Can you look at the screen right now?
Yes, I'm doing that.
And what do you use? What character do you see?
She's got a great bod of really big booty, but he will have to tell you no.
Invisible woman, Invisible woman, No way, is that fucking real? That's wait, the Invisible woman is hold on Visible Woman? Is she one of the Fantastic Four? Okay, yeah, she's in the Fantastic Store. I was wondering, I was, so, are you playing as her or you're just looking at her?
I know I am playing as her, but my my girlfriend's just watching me because she really wants to talk about something else. This is just a distraction for her.
She really wants to talk about something else. Okay, you can give the phone back to her.
Oh say, okay, I'm here.
Okay, So you really want to talk about something besides Marvel rivals.
Preferably Yes, yes, I do want your your advice.
Oh please, yeah, please please?
Do you?
Okay?
Do you have any context from my text or is that not a thing?
No, that's not a thing. I have no context at all.
Okay.
Well, my mother is she has a severe spending addiction that is sabotaging my dad and I his relationship. And she's also been having a year's long affair and I'm the only one that knows about it, and I don't know how to tell my dad.
M Okay, So what's the deal with her spending addiction?
She just will not quit buying things. I'm an only child, just me and my parents. They live in a desperate context. They live in a five bedroom house, and three of the five bedroom sort of filled with things that she buys. And it's just gotten to the point where she's filled up the entire house, and my dad and I don't really know what to do with all of the ship she keeps buying.
So she's a hoarder, yes, like a clean hoarder.
Hmm.
Okay. And but she likes very very she likes very okay. She buys a lot of expensive fancy luxury ship.
A yes, I mean not like Louis Vauton or anything, but very like three hundred dollars jeans ship like that.
Okay? Do you? And so you live in this house? It's you, your dad and your mom.
No. So I moved out when I was nineteen because I just couldn't take it anymore. They've bought my whole childhood and it just was a toxic environment.
So I got out of there.
But I quit my job not long too long ago, and I'm going to be traveling for work soon at a new job, so I might have to live with them and move back in with them when I'm in between traveling.
And how did you find out that your mom was having an affair?
Well?
I found out because when I was sixteen, she.
Asked me to check.
Something on her phone, and when I did, I saw a text from a former coworker of hers, and it was something about meeting up. And I clipped on it and saw hundreds of messages that they had met up and slept together, and yeah, all this stuff because he lives an hour away, but they found meeting spots and kind of just found all this out.
That was when you were sixteen. Yeah, so you've known about this for how long?
I'm twenty two now, wow.
But there's a lot of factors that go into that.
So shortly after I found out when I was sixteen, I had an eating disorder and was admitted into treatment for four months, and then right after that, COVID happened, and then my dad suffered a massive heart attack and was in the hospital and had to get a pacemaker put in. His dad almost died, and then my mom's dad did die, all in the span of this time. So I never would have thought that she was still
having an affair. But when I was twenty, I saw another message when she had me check something on her phone. It had popped up, and I saw that this had still been going on, even through all of the ship my family had been through together, and I thought we had gotten stronger through all that, but clearly she was still finding time to cheat.
So and all with the same guy.
Yes, and he's the CEO of a company, married with children my age.
They were family friends his mom.
Wait guy it wait, wait, wait this hold on. This guy is your You said you're twenty two. This guy is this guy's twenty two?
No, no, no, no, he worked with my mom. He's my mom's age, so in his fifties, but his kids are my age.
Okay, all right, Okay that freaked me out for a second. I was like, this is gonna be way crazier of a story that I anticipated.
Okay, go ahead, No, it's already crazy enough.
But oh so his mom, the guy that she is sleeping with.
His mom was actually my grandpa's secretary for like thirty years as well, So there's like a lot of lore there. So like our families really know each other well. So that makes it even more uncomfortable. We don't like hang out with them or anything. But I mean, I guess my mom does, but not my dad and I m.
Hm okay, so are you what are you are you thinking about like revealing this or because it's been six years, are you like have you kind of learned to just live with it? Like what's your vibe?
No?
No, it's it's something that eats away.
I mean every day.
I mean I can't it's so hard to look at my mom.
It's hard to look at my dad. But they have.
Never had a good marriage.
They have fought my whole childhood.
They my mom told me, not like maybe a couple of years ago, that they hadn't had sex in like fifteen years. Like they're just they've never been affectionate, so it's not a good marriage. My dad is kind of still with my mom because she He doesn't want her to take like all his retirement and all his money if they get a divorce now, like everything he's worked for. It's kind of what he told me. My mom's bipolar,
so that's also a factor. She's threatened to severely harm and kill my dad and I before she's gone too had psychotic breaks, so he also is worried about her and what a divorce would do.
To her mental state as well. So there's just a lot there.
Bro, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no, this you have nothing to be sorry for.
It all.
The follow up to me saying Bro, is so you're twenty two, what's going on with you? Because at a certain point, right at a certain point, I believe that you know at the age two, if you so desire to be like, you know what, my family is a little fucking crazy. And I think my responsibility as a young adult is for me to now focus on developing my own life, whatever that looks like for me, and not being so deeply engulfed in my family's drama. Do
you know what I mean? I know that's a really hard thing to do, but I feel like that's at a certain point where your brain's got to be at, you know what I mean? So where are you in that context?
No, definitely. And I think depending on what is going on, like how I'm.
Doing mentally, I guess like kind of dictates how involved I get into it.
Cauld.
I think if I'm I don't know, if I'm am being true to like shit at work and I'm like depressed, then I think I'm more I like, go into it more, if that makes sense, Like I I don't know, I don't know. It's almost like maybe I don't know. I think about my fucked up family to not think about to face my problems that are actually happening.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. That makes every sense.
And I think it's easy to be like, oh, my family's sucked up and all this shit's going on, so.
Let me deal with that.
But it's like I am realizing now, like how many years am I gonna deal with this bullshit?
And like worry about this bullshit?
Like this worrying is doing nothing for me, and so I'm it's hard, like you said, but I'm trying to distance myself from that. But it's just hard when I'm an only child too, and I feel like I need to take care of my parents and be there for them.
So that's part yeah, yeah, because it because right, because if you had a brother or sister and they were checked out, you might be able to look at them and go all right, well they're checked out.
I think I'm gonna go ahead and check out too. Or if you had a brother, so that was like, you know, dealing with it, you'd be like, oh, it might break, could bring you either way. But yeah, I understand why as an only child, do you feel this like responsibility of some kind to still be involved.
M hmm.
But I mean you have a boyfriend who's playing Marvel Rivals.
Yeah, you have a job mm hmm.
And you you rent an apartment. You don't live with your parents.
Right, right, yes, I do have an apartment, all.
Right, So you've got your own life going on. Yes, you've got your own gardens to water.
Mm hmmm mm hmmm.
So I love so I love that. So that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
I guess where where do I start with that? Because I feel like I've lived in such this like trauma.
Written state, or like just a state of.
High anxiety and how can I fix things? And walking on eggshells and that I just don't even know how to go about prioritizing myself, I guess, And I feel so stealfish for that.
And yeah, well.
For what I mean. You look, you're already doing it right like you have Uh. I mean, I feel like in America, if you can, I really do. I feel like in America we have a thing where it's like, listen, if you can pay your bills and you are in
a relationship that makes you happy, that's uh. Not every relationship has some form of problem, right, But if you're in a relationship that you know one could look at and judge it to be healthy, and your bills are paid and you feel moderately happy, You're not on drugs, you're not killing anyone you're you're like pretty crazy successful if you can accomplish those basic things as an independent adult, and you're you're managing to accomplish them, so you know,
a plus already on that, So you're already you're already doing it. So I think this like hieing anxiety thing is like, well, well, I don't know, I don't. I don't really know what other aspects of your life you're hoping to develop and endeavor for or just maintain and and uh enjoy. If those are the two real things we can do in life, is either continue to develop it or or or enjoy it for whatever it is. That's your task is just being in your own life.
How do you go about doing it? I mean, you're already, I don't you're already doing it, so like a limit the amount of time you spend indulging in your family's drama and uh, you know, indulge in your own drama. You know, I'm sure tell your boyfriend he's playing too much more rivals, he's gotta you know.
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
I like that, And okay that thank you.
That was amazing and I needed to hear that. This leads me into another question. I just got this new travel job. And do you have any tips on being on the road being away from one place your home?
I guess since you travel, have you done much travel?
I have, just not for work and not for like weeks at a time or a month at a time.
Mm hmmm. Where are you going?
Wherever?
They send me?
Any anywhere, but probably I'm in Kansas and so probably around the the very area.
First.
Okay, are they sending you to the land of Oz? That was like a dad joke? That wasn't that funny?
Uh? Oh?
Wait? Do I have any tips for traveling around Missouri?
No?
No, no, no, Just in general, like, do you bring anything for comfort from home or any I don't know any kind of beginner travel for work tips.
Why bring a tooth bring a toothbrush?
Uh?
Almonds? Bring bring almonds to not eat and to buy skittles at the gas station instead and eat those that have omens to look at you're going, by the way. Well, truthfully, if you live in Kansas, Kans in Missouri are kind of the exact same place. There's no true difference between those two places. There's a version, there's you know, your exact life and the exact life of all of your friends and family. Also, someone has the exact same life
in Missouri. There's a McDonald's in your hometown of Missouri. That is also there's another McDonald's there. It's the same. It's all the same. Kansas and Missouri are pretty much the same exact place, and someone who lives there might get upset with me about that, but I don't. I mean, they're I mean, I mean, listen, I'll take it further. I think everywhere is also. I think everywhere is kind of the same. That's what you learn traveling, is that
everywhere is exactly the same. You know. I think Missouri and its Becca, Stan and Beijing and Australia are all the same place. I'm sorry this is a horrible answer to your question, but.
No, I think my question was just horrible.
So that's it was not a horrible question. It was it was a nice question. I should have a better answer to that. Yeah, just I don't have fun going a walk. That's my actual answers. Wherever, if you I'm that serious, If you okay, that's my actual answer. If you get stuck in some like shit assu laquenta in on the side of the road, in Missouri. Just go on a walk and look at stuff and just be like, this stuff is different from the stuff that is directly around me most of the time. So just walk around
and look at stuff. That's my best travel advice.
That's good. I like that. I like that.
Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? Maddx?
Oh God, just be kind to one another. You never know what someone's going through. Don't comment on other people's bodies. It's really none of your business. And everyone, have a great night and love you all.
Love you guys, Thank you, maddox, have a good rest of the night.
Bye.
Okay, Marvel Rivals. It's not an ad, but I'm it seems like something i'd like. I mean, I like video games a lot. Uh. Okay, it's a PvP shooter. Is it on the switch? Okay, it's not on the switch, so I'm not gonna play it. It's free to play. I don't love if I fuck with those free to play games. Who do you play? Who are the characters in it? Playable characters? Penny Parker? Who the fuck?
Is that?
All right? You can play as thor that's cool, you guys. Remember Marvel versus capcom No, all right, hello, Hello, Hi, what is your name?
I'm Lindsay. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too, Lindsay. How's life, Lindsey? What's going on?
Well?
Life is really weird right now. I am living in a new town and I don't know anyone. So I've been spending a lot of time at like this coffee shop that's open for twenty four hours every day. I am there almost as much as an employee. I would think it's kind of sad.
Hmm. It's opened twenty four hours.
It's opened twenty four to seven and never closes.
Are you in and what hours are you typically in there?
It really ranges like sometimes I'm in there from like one PM to like.
Five.
Sometimes I'm in there like in the night. The weird stuff always happens there in the night. I don't know, so I try to go like more in the evening time.
Okay, you said weird stuff happens at night. I really want to know if you've been in there at like three am, and if you have what.
Is the vibe? I have only one and I'm never going back in there because I got chased by a man that was in there, and then I didn't have any pepper spray, but I bought pepper spray immediately afterwards.
WHOA you got chased? Was there any context or like this dude just starts chasing It was I mean.
He was like in there and he was kind of acting weird and like looking at me a lot, and I was like, I can tell that, like there's something wrong with you. And he kept on trying to give me stuff while we were in there. It was just us too in this coffee shop. Nobody else was in there beside the barista, and I was like, I don't really know what she's supposed to do about this, So I just kind of was like, Okay, I think I
need to get out of here. M So I went to go leave and he followed me outside and I started to run, and then he started to run, and I was like, oh my god, what the fuck? And I like, I did like the horror movie fumble with the keys in my car, and I almost I almost had to run him over to get away.
Jesus.
But I mean, that was just strange. But the weirdest thing that I've seen in the carffee shop has been this past week or so I've seen the same person three times and they keep on peeing in the coffee shop chairs.
They get peeing in the coffee shop chairs, yes, like like you're seeing them do it?
I mean, I'm pretty sure that it's pee.
Fuck it's.
What are you like going over there and sniff at it, Like, how do you know that it's p.
Well, this happened three times now, three times a few A few days ago, I was in there, and I mean, it's just like this person. I mean, I'm twenty. They look like they're probably around my age, like college age, and they always bring in this giant gaming computer like it's just like a very heavy duty, Like I don't really know that much about computers, but it's it's like pretty big. I wouldn't really expect that you would like take it out of your house, but they just go
in there and set on. They're in there for hours, just like on the game, and they like I don't know, I guess they just sit there for so long. I don't know if they have like a week bladder or something. But I am I suspect that they are peeing. I don't have any I guess, real proof, but they Reek of Peace Reek and the chair is always wet when they get out.
So why do you like this coffee shop? I've only heard horrible things so far.
You know what.
All of my friends ask you that same exact question. And honestly, it's just like a really it's you know, it's really cool in there.
Like it's a cool place.
It's usually pretty busy, and like it's pretty cheap, and I'm in college, I don't really have that much money. It's open late, so I can go to homework whenever I want. I don't have to worry about leaving at any specific time. I mean, there are a lot of things that are good about it, but also it is prime people watching. It's peak people watching in there because there are so many characters that come in.
Yeah, I mean, you've got a way how much you like people watching with the fact that it sounds like people are also watching you.
That is true. That is true. I feel like now I have protection. I have like I mean, I don't really know how much pepper spray would do to a person.
But so have you made any friends there? You had? You seem like you kind of mentioned a little bit that you were you were lonely, that you just moved to this new place. Have you kind of found what you've been looking for at this coffee shop in terms of making new connections, I mean.
I don't really like I usually just kind of go to do homework, but I've met a couple of people. Sometimes it's pretty busy and there aren't really enough seats for like everyone to sit down when it gets pretty busy, so sometimes people will come sit with me kind of like talk to me. That's pretty nice. But honestly, the person that I feel like I've bonded with the most in the coffee shop is one of the Bearistas. I just like, I just got her phone number the other day.
She's pretty cool, but I don't know if I would ever actually ask her to hang out, just because I don't even know like what to do and like the area that I'm in, But I mean, I don't really go there.
You said you don't really go to that make friends.
No, I'm just kind of I'm just gonna try to learn how to be by myself.
M Okay, why did you move to this new place?
Well, I I go here for college. This it's my second year of college, and last year what I was doing wasn't really like working for me. So I transferred to like a new city, which is really only an hour away from where I was at college before, and I made a lot of good friends over there, So honestly, on the weekends, I just kind of drive over to where I used to go to college and hang out with my friends from there.
Mm okay, So are you trying to make a nice place for you to be in the place that you're at so that you don't have to, you know, kind of always go home for the weekend.
Not really, I mean I'm kind of thinking about I feel like this would make my life so much harder, like school wise, I'm thinking about just moving back to where I went to college last year and just commuting to school like an hour every day. I mean the bus ride that I take now, it only takes I mean it takes an hour because like it does like a whole bunch of stops and it goes a whole
bunch of places. So there's a different bus that goes between the two cities that also takes an hour, And I feel like I would much rather do that and go live with my friends from like where I used to live than continue to live here. I don't really have that much time left in the school year, so I feel like it's kind of too late for me to try to find trust.
What are you studying.
I am a product design major and I go to an art school. It's a very small, very small art school.
So you feel like you don't have enough time left in school to even make friends.
Yeah, at least not this year. Like, no one that I would let consider living with. And I don't want to like live by myself, but I live with these roommates right now that are so bad. I can't deal with them anymore. Why this way to be up? They just like I know that this doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but they are really just so messy and I can't take it, especially in the kitchen. I feel like I'm mothering. And they are also both like a decade older than me.
What's the name of this coffee shop? I'm sorry, I can't really get it out of my head. It seems like a fascinating place. I really want to go there.
It's called the Bitter End Coffee Shop in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Wait, hold on the Bitter Ends. Oh shit, Okay'm gonna okay, I'm gonna try to check this place out when I go to Grand Rapids this year.
Lease do.
Grand Rapids, Okay.
I do.
Well, it's kind of it's I've never ever in my life seen I'm looking at it on Google right now. I've never in my life seen a twenty four hour coffee shop.
I know me either. That's why I was so excited. That's why I go there so much. It really is cool in there. There's just there's just a lot of stuff happening a lot.
It's housed in an old bank building.
It's pretty cool in there. The interior is like really pretty sweet. They have a lot of like artwork out and stuff.
You really want to go to this place.
This looks Yeah, some of the are regular. They are this group of like seven or eight, Like I don't know where they're from, but they are like I think that they speak Arabic. I don't really know how to distinguish a lot of different languages. I'm not very knowledgeable with languages. But they go in there and play cards for hours every day. And on the wall there is a painting of them playing cards.
Oh that's awesome. Okay, I'm on our slash. I'm on our slash coffee Shops and somebody posted the Bitter and Coffee House and the top comment is I am a Grand Rapids native and I have been here many times. Do not recommend many, many, many things wrong with this place. You know what's funny, I feel like that's telling about me, is that you you were like, uh, yeah, I went into this place that I got chased by a stranger to my car and almost died. And I'm like, oh, it sounds cool, let's go.
I mean, I don't know, I love I mean, okay, that happened to me, and I told my sister about it, and then I went back the next day to do homework. It was like twelve hours later, and she was like, I can't believe you're already back in there.
Yeah, I mean, have you seen that fucking guy before?
No, I have not seen him. I like told I mean, I was kind of like in shock about what was happening while it happened, and then like I didn't really know what to do about it, and I was like shit, like I don't want this guy to chase anybody else out of here like that. That was scary as fuck. That's the first time anything like that's ever happened to me, And like, I guess I'm from like a smaller like town that has like less strange people, I guess, but
like I don't know. Anyways, I went back the next day and I told the girl that was working in there, like, hey had a weird like experience last night. I don't know if you guys have like any cameras or anything that you could maybe look at, like you could like see this guy like he keeps on coming up to me and stuff, and maybe you could, like, I don't know if you recognize them if he ever comes in here again, maybe just like down the leaf mm hmm.
I don't know.
I'm definitely looks sick crazy are there? I don't even know if I've never heard of any like twenty four to seven coffee houses in the on in the world.
Uh, this is the first one I've ever seen.
Hit me. Hit me in the comments, folks, if you know any, I want to I want to check them all out because I like a good twenty four hour place. I like being being in a place the late. But uh, yeah, what'd you say?
COVID killed the twenty four hour established.
COVID killed the twenty four hour establishment. It's so lame. I hate fucking New York like advertise itself as a place that you can get anything and do anything all the time, but it's totally totally not that. At least in Brooklyn it is. I mean, there's some areas where it is, but the whole city. I wish there were more like twenty four hour e cities like that. But you know, it starts, it starts. It starts with the with having a weird coffee house so good. Yeah, good looks to Grand Rapids.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm so sad about the fact that, like when COVID first happened, I was in I was just starting high school and like just kind of like starting to get a little bit more like independent where I could like go places by myself, and all I wanted was to go to like do you know what Meyer is?
Meyer.
Yeah, it's like it's kind of like Walmart, but it's like justin Michigan and Ohio, but it's very popular here.
I haven't heard of it.
But Meyer, it's kind of it's kind of just like Walmart. It's like any like supermarket really, but like they used to be twenty four hours before COVID happened, and all I wanted was to go just like walk around into Meyer at like four or five in the morning. That's all I wanted. And now I can't do it because none of them are twenty four hours anymore.
Nothing.
Yeah, not around here, you know. I when I first got my driver's license, I really wanted to just go to Target and play the uh the Xbox demo kiosk. And they don't. They don't do them anymore. They don't really do the demo kiosks anymore.
Huh.
I mean, I've never I've never even touched an Xbox like in my life, so I really don't. I don't know, I've never seen anything.
Like that, Lindsay, Yes, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
If you think that somebody might chase you, run run run.
Thank you very much for calling Lindsay.
Hekrod Pepper spray too.
Yeah, that's it.
Thank you so much, Geko for answering my uh my plea, my text.
Thank you, Lindsey. I hope that you continue to have enjoyable experiences at this coffee shop where you not get chased by people.
Thank you. I think it'll happen. I hope you have a good night too.
Bye, Lindsey, Bye the Bitter End Coffee Shop. Okay, when am I in Grand Rapids. I'm in Grand Rapids on the twelfth of September. Tickets at theapy Gecko tour dot com for Grand Rapids and many other shows. Okay, when I'm there, I will definitely be going to this. Hello, Hello, what's up?
Man?
What's your name? My name is Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Be good? What's going on? Johnny?
Oh? No, them just chilling the night before day off, you know, the.
Night before a day off, yep, day off of.
What from work?
What do you do?
I work in a pharmaceutical warehouse.
You ever take some of the pills just for fun, see what they are?
No, because I know what they are and I don't necessarily need them. I have thought about, like nasal spray for my allergies.
Though, what kind of pills are they? Heart medication?
We carry everything?
Then, yeah, nothing, you're not You're not like, let me scoop a little bit of the penis stuff. Let me take some allergy medication, let me take two allergy medications. Just get a little uh good little loose for the shift.
No, that's what the after hours are for.
Uh.
It pays, it pays well if I can't really like to lose it.
Mm hmmm mmmm. What's your life like outside of the pharmaceutical warehouse?
I honestly pretty good. Got a girlfriend going on with a little over two years, and we go in trouble the world. I mean, I can't complain.
Where do you Where do you guys been going? What you've been doing?
Well?
I've gone to Italy on my own, ah, I mean recently. You know, it's still two years or so. Kind of you for me, I guess. But we've gone Mexico City trying to do coaster regulators this year and see how that goes. Uh.
Yeah, Mexico City is awesome. Wait where in Italy did you go alone?
I went to Roman Florence cool man.
I studied abroad in Italy a long time. Rome, Parlo unpo Italiano. I ate a lot of pizza, I got, I got fat. Uh. I looked at the fountain. I freaked out a little bit. I I I remember. I Actually, you know what's funny, I had my own like I went a little crazy when I was in Rome and I had, like I was listening to the Misfits on my phone and I had like a little joker stares moment on the Spanish steps, just like rocking out to punk music. You know what I'm talking about?
Me?
Isn't that what it's all about?
So what it's all about is uh disturbing the locals?
How did you? How did you feel about only having Italian blue dog that time?
How did I feel about? I like Italian food, like preshudo, I like the bakeries. I there was there's a moment that I remember vividly from my time there, which was I was eating with a couple, like other kids in the program, outside of this pizza shop, and this like this girl a little older than us. She was kind of a tall and lanky and nerdy looking, and she she just sat at our table and she was like, I'm here alone and I don't have anyone to eat with,
so I'm gonna eat with you guys. What are your names? And I was like, I was like, WHOA, that's awesome anytime someone anytime something like that happens. The people I was with were a little taken aback, but anytime anytime I see it It's a very real, recognized, real type of thing. I'm like, that was a bold move I'm inspired by. I'm gonna reward it. And so I started being like, my name is Lyle, how are you doing?
What's going on? You know, start trying to I start really I like when I see when I see someone reach out like that, like you know, you're kind of putting yourself out there when you do shit like that. I always want to try to reward it. I always want to be like, I'm gonna I want you to feel like you made the right decision coming over here. So we you know, we talked or whatever, and I don't remember anything about it de late. I just I only remember her doing that, and I was like, whoa,
you could just do that shit. It really stands out. I feel like in Europe they have a yere. Maybe I don't know if it was like the mindset that I was in at the time. I was like twenty one and I was really I mean, my whole career is predicated on like talking to strangers and stuff. But I was really obsessed at that time with like how I could just do it naturally just in my personal life, Like I was obsessed with like weird connections I can make with folks on the train or the bus or whatever,
and like, I really I really appreciated. I don't know if this is like a weird spontaneity I had in my brain about like, well, you know, whatever kind of moments you could make with people that you wouldn't necessarily expect,
And so I was inspired by that lady. And I don't know if it was like the mindset I had at the time, or if it's like Europe in general, but like you know, there's certain places in the world people just talk to each other just to talk to each other, and I feel like Italy, Yeah, Italy and Europe are one of those places. Fucking in Iraq, I noticed a lot people would come up and like talk to me or talk to my friend who was showing
us around there, just just because they would. I would like, I would think, I was like, is this person trying to ask you for money or whatever? They would just be talking like just because in like a place like New York or LA everyone only talks to each other. If someone starts talking to you randomly, it is because they
want to ask you for something. But there are a lot of or like in fucking Japan, you know people and people never talk to you at all, but like there's certain places I feel like, eure, it's one of our people just randomly talk to each other for no reason. It's kind of nice.
I've kind of felt that in New York. I go to New York, I would say semi often, and I feel like I'm near the Bay Area in California, and I feel like what you're saying about people not talking kind of happens in New York. I've met more people out there than I have here at home, which I really enjoy. New York City's probably one of my favorite places.
And where do you live now?
You're in the Bay Area in California, San Francisco.
Yeah, very exciting. You know, what I'm realizing is that I just went on a whole rant to you about whatever, and I never asked you if there was a particular reason why you called me today, and so I would like to take this time to do that.
A particular reason. Not really, but I mean I can go on about what you were talking about and just how you can respect someone that can kind of just put themselves out there like that, Like I respect it because in the same position that you were, I mean I would welcome them as well. I wouldn't be able to do that myself. I'm more of a go on my own kind of person. Yeah, I guess I can say. And I think I had my revelation about that maybe
a few years ago. I had like one of my close friends pass away and he was younger than I was, and kind of put into light like why wait for something I want to do? Because I used to ask my friends if they wanted to go on trips with me and everything, but you know, no time, no money, blah blah blah, whatever excuse. And so that was part of the reason I went to Italy, just why wait for other people? You know?
Yeah, of course, do you have any other you know? It's fine. I also try to live my life that way. I also very much try to be like, you know, anything you could possibly can see of wanting to do with yourself, like, don't wait to do it?
Uh.
Part of me wonders if that applies to everything, or like what it might not apply to or whatever, But like, do you have anything that you can think of on your list that you're like should I? I don't want to wait to do that.
Not necessarily. I've been pretty good on getting on top of what I want to do and doing it when I want. The only thing for me is like, I'm a big fan of baseball, so one of my things is like, try to hit all of the baseball stadiums in America, maybe even some international Just yeah, I've knocked them down. I like that.
How many got left?
Oh? Maybe like twenty? There's thirty, you know there's any twenty more? Maybe do you have.
Plans to do to see anymore in the future.
Yeah, I haven't been to San Diego yet. So luckily the girlfriend has been nice enough to join me along with me on those trips, and she enjoys it as well, which helps out a lot. She's really good with the plow kind of person. I appreciate that.
M What are you gonna do with your day off tomorrow?
A whole lot of nothing. That's exactly what I like to do my days off.
Johnny, Yes, thank you for calling. Thanks is nice. Thanks for letting rant at you. I know that.
I yeah, no problem.
You know, I feel like we both got a lot of stuff off our chest. This is a nice interaction.
I enjoyed it.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Clean out your room because you don't know if they might be infested with moths. I had that recently and it was a pain to clean out.
You're saving a lot of people from moths and the people appreciate it.
I think that's my purpose in this one.
Thank you, Johnny. I have a good rest of the night.
You do love it there.
Repeat can't goes.
On the line taking your phone calls every night.
The repeak cant goes to on his eye. He's teaching news about your life, but he's not really an expert.