LIFE IN A NORTH MEXICO CALL CENTER

Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or gek Legends as I call them, we'll be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely

Hello, Hello, Hi, I'm sorry.

Is this for the gek This I am? Yes, that is me. I am. I am a man in a gecko costume living psychedelic life.

Ah wow, is it really you? I mean the gak, the one who's in teach.

It is me, that is the gack, That is the one who's on Twitch. Who are you? What is your name?

I'm sorry, Uh, my bad.

My name is David.

David.

Nice to meet you too, David. Where are you calling from?

Call me from Mexico? Well, Monterey, it's not Red North Mexico.

Nice can I can?

I cannot believe you. I cannot believe that you do you answer the phone?

Of course? Well I don't. I it's so funny to me that people can't believe I answered. I have nothing else to do. I'm of course I answered the phone. I if I there's no thing that is pressing me to be anywhere else except on the phone with you, with me right now, except on the with you right now. I mean, I don't know. I'm a little bit, I'm a little hungry. I could be out eating a sandwich.

It?

What's going on?

Man?

What's happening?

How?

How?

Uh?

What's you live in northern Mexico? What's it like there?

It's it's well, it's it's really warm, and it's I mean, it's really really warm. I mean, I know, I know that there's people in Texas that have it more hard than than I than I like do, but but yeah, it's a it's a really I mean, there's a lot heat here in here, so it's quite hard to live in here. And also, I mean the place where I live in is known here in Mexico to be a place where the weather changed a lot like to too drastically, so that's part of it. But I like living here

You're about to move to an apartment downtown?

No, no, no, I mean, uh, it's I mean two years ago. It's it's about to be two years since I moved to an apartment.

Okay, so you live in downtown Monterey, Mexico.

Yes, I do in down. I do live in downtown Monterey, Mexico.

And what is downtown Monterey, Mexico like? Is it? Uh? Is it like very uh? Urban? Like are there a lot of buildings and people walking around and all that shit?

Lately? Yes, there has been a lot of people walking on the streets lately.

Uh.

I don't know how coronavirus did work in other places, but I mean people have four garden coronavirus like just a I mean in my in my opinion, like just last year. And I know like there are there are other places that well ended up the quarantine way like way back.

Yeah, I went to Mexico and well here in America coronavirus never happened pretty much in it didn't. Well no, I mean that as that was as a figure. I don't know if you in, but I remember I went to Mexico and like we had like we were wearing the mask. I had to wear the mask, and I was like I completely forgot about any.

Of this you wear a mask, I think. Yeah.

Yeah, in Mexico City a couple places I had to wear a mask.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry I thought. I mean I imagined you in my head with a little a little a little mask, like you know, like a mask, like a mask, I don't know, something like that, or maybe a huge mask or a huge ship something like that.

Oh you said, like.

Not yet, like that's the way I pictured you. More used to the term vocals, baby, But yeah, a mask, right.

I mean, that'd be more fun than the fucking shitty paper one that.

I was way more fun than having like stupid masks.

Actually went, I went to a Loocha thing when I was in Mexico City. It was fucking crazy, dude.

Okay, well I only did once when I was when I was when I was skided, like when I was like seven years old. I guess like me and a couple of cousins where I mean they took us. Uh, I mean someone took this. I'm sorry.

I'm way too nervous for this.

I'm sorry.

So you're wrestling mat.

Well, tell me more about your life. What how old are you?

I'm twenty three years old, nice man? What do you.

What do you do? Are you in school? Do you work?

I work at a call center? Uh? You know these places where you go with and then a company like takes you and well do you take phones for them? So that's why I do.

Mm hmmm, uh what what are these people call you about?

Well, it's only for dental appointments, you know, it's not like way too just I just do appointments, dental appointments for kids.

That's all.

Yeah. I mean, like I do the appointments, I cancel them or maybe I schedule them. That's the other thing I do.

Is it fun canceling appointments? Like do you get like a little hit hit of dopamine when you hit like the big red cancel?

But maybe no, no, no, I mean it's not that exciting. I mean it becomes like something mechanical after you do you do it like a few times, right. But the funny in that work, I mean, in my eyes, lies on the people around you. Maybe, I mean, you just make some conversation and maybe the ship isn't that bad anymore.

Okay, all right, So you have co workers that you that you fuck with, that you have nice conversations with.

I mean, no, no, I don't mean like having meaningful conversations, well, not not necessarily having like conversations about things that I like to talk about with them, But as long as I have something to talk about, I mean, that's that's the thing. Maybe we could be talking about their things, things that they like to do, or plans that they have, or maybe my own plans. Maybe I'll mention them.

Yes as well. Or I don't know.

I mean, I have this friends here, I mean, well, it's not a friend. I'd like to reserve that term two real friends, right, But I have this guy sitting next to me with my companion, and we talked about.

You said companion, and you like to reserve the word friend because I feel like companion is almost more intimate than friends.

I mean, that's right, Yes, I think I didn't stop that the time I was about to use like, uh, I mean, companion sounded to me like campaignero, But no, that's not companion, right.

Mm hmm. But continue tell me about this guy.

I don't know.

I mean, we just talked about one piece, and I really do like one piece a lot. I like that. I'm not I'm not a manga guy or I'm not an anima guy like two years ago. Uh, someone at another work talk told me about this manga one piece.

And I love it.

I like.

I mean, I cued up finally to the one piece manga readers that's out there, said I I'm cut out and and I'm happy for it. I like that to study a lot.

Mm hmm. Now this guy, all right, this guy that you talked to one piece about, Like, you say, he's your companion, but you wouldn't call him a friend. You say you reserve the term friend for somebody else, I mean for for sort of a different tier. But would you, like, would you ever would you ever ask this guy if he wants to go fucking grab a grab a beer or something? Would you ever see if he wanted to hang out outside of work?

Yeah? I would.

I would definitely do that. M hmm.

Do you have it? Do you have a lot of friends?

No?

I was talking to a friend today about it. I mean, I mean, this is a close friend, a friend that I have, uh since I was since I was like I don't know, seven or maybe eight years old. But it's a long time. It's a long friend, right, Yeah. But and I told I told him that, No, I don't think that I have a lot of friends. I mean I can't count them with my hands. She's with one hand, maybe, but that doesn't disturb me. It's like, I there's nothing to worry about. Like the friends that

Like that is.

Normal.

I don't know.

I'm sorry for I mean, makes sense, doesn't make sense. I'm trying to say, oh, yeah, no.

That makes everything you're saying makes one hundred percent sense. Yeah that you don't Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, look, that's what that's That's what's important, right, is that the friends that you do have are like people that you really really, uh you know, vibe with. I mean, it's an it's an honor to have one friend, honest to god, you know, it's one person. It's it's in this in a big, crazy world. It's an honor to have anyone that gives a fuck about you, you know, h.

Mm hmm mm hmm.

I mean it is great. I mean, and it's great that you feel comfortable with people fucking around with you. I mean, I'm not I'm not used to the term, but yeah, I mean you also trust these people, I mean, and that's great.

What is your Do you have any dreams in life? Do you have aspirations for the future?

Mm hmm, yeah, I mean I'm a musician. I mean, I'm a musician, so I like to I mean, to keep learning a lot of stuff. I'd like to keep learning. I mean, I'd like to keep doing stuff like participating in projects and I don't know, I mean that's part of the dream. And also somethings that that I'm achieving.

Mm hmmm mmm.

I like that.

Mm hmmm. What do you are? You said you'd like to work on projects, any projects in particular, Like, uh, like, what kind of music do you make?

Well, I'm a drummer. I mean I've been playing since I was like eight and nine years old, and I played it. I used to play in the church, so I left it when I was twenty, but I was there, like playing drums and guitars, and I learned everything everything that I know from from this church right in terms of music. But I don't play that. I don't play there anymore. So I have I have a break right now, just right now where I play the drums and it's called Neo Fodia. I don't know if I can write that.

Do what? Yeah?

Yeah? Wait wait wait what you have? What this is a band that you're in.

Yeah, it's a band. It's well kind of a rock band.

I'd say, wait right, yeah, type type type it in, type it in the chat so I can see.

Sure, sure, sure uh neo yeah, Neo Fhouria.

Neo for are you? Are you guys on SoundCloud at all?

I don't know. I mean, oh wait, you're on Facebook.

You're on Facebook. I see you guys.

Yeah, it's on Facebook. I'm the drummer.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, okay Neophoia n e O f o r I A. Now if you still here's the thing. Did you know that if you search Neo Fouria, Google will say did you mean euphoria? The tv you? Google will say Google will say did you mean euphoria? Yeah, So if you search Neo Fhouria, you have to then click the snow search instead for I meant Neophouria. Yeah, there you are the bands.

But you mean that.

You drumming. I'm looking at you right now. This is your face, this is you drumming. You got big long hair. I'm looking at you. This is you, this is oh you guys you have long hair.

Yeah I had long Yeah, I had long hair, like I just got my hair a few days.

But yeah, I used to have long hair.

By then, Hasamo's surf punk corn post punk, I'll go dis Cordella art rock the garage. You guys are sucking cool man goddamn surf punk.

Like I. Yes, I guess we are.

Shout out to my friend Albert, the one who's who wrote that.

I guess.

Okay, let me ask you a question. So, so are do you guys playing? Are you are you gigging around? Are you playing in a lot of and a lot of and a lot of different shows?

Ah, yes, we're we're having a few. We had like h like three shows these year.

I guess.

I don't know when when the I don't recall when the Fat the Band started formally, but it was like last year. I guess it doesn't matter. But we haven't we've we've been playing and that's great. And we're about to play, uh next month by the twenty something. I don't remember, but yeah, we'll play. And and yes, we've been playing. We've been gigging.

That's awesome, is that your dread? Do you do you want to be a full time musician?

Yes, I mean i'd like I like that idea. Yes, I like to like to be doing music.

All the time.

Nice nice, I mean least.

I mean being being like reasonable. I'd like to find out a way in how to apply music like in in all my life on my daily life. And if I can do it like as a as a job as well, I mean, that'd be great, That would be awesome.

Mm hmm. What's your Do you have any bands or musicians that you that inspire you?

Mm hmm.

Yes, there are a lot of people that have inspired me. Uh, I guess musicians.

Yes, there's a.

Local one here making yet a lot of fung of it. And oh gek, I think that I'm about to get disconnected. I mean, all right, anytime, I just want to I just wanted to let you know that and that I love you. I love you so much.

Are you saying we're about to get disconnected anytime soon? Said? Go ahead, say.

Yeah, No, I mean I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I've been watching your streams. Uh, I guess for like four or five months. Tell you just yeah, and I love your podcast and I listen to you and Spotify.

Well, I love you man, Thanks man, Thanks man, I appreciate you. It's fun. It's it's seriously, it is the coolest thing to me ever that like you know, folks and other countries are listening to this thing. It is it is like the the thing about all of this uh gecko stuff that has blown my mind the most. So thank you, man, I appreciate you listening. Are you about to Are you about to hang up because it's too expensive? I wouldn't blame you if you do.

No, No, I mean i'd like to. I'd like to stay here. I'm just letting you know that my in my drop at any time, but I mean I want to stay here. I mean it's it's a wonderful experience to be here.

Well, let me ask you. I have a couple more questions. What so you were in a U so you played for a church? Are you a religious man?

Yes, I'd said that I'm still a religious man.

Uh.

I mean I don't practice it anymore. But when whenever I'm asked that, I always I always say I always say, well, I cannot stop being what I've been thought like. There's a lot of stuff of course that I mean, it's stated that might be dated. But no, still there, okay, yeah.

Yeah, I'm still here. There's a lot of so so you were you were taught to be Christian, so now it's a tough it's you you don't even know how to not be it.

Well, no, it's I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't go to that extent. I'm sorry if I might, if I might sound like that, but no, No, like my when we were kids, uh my mom two because my little sister and me. I have an older sister as well, but only only two two of us. My little sister and I took us the church. I mean not like nor my my, my my dad or my mom. They

I like the church.

There's a lot of things that I like from church, even though I I'm not a part of it anymore.

Now where do you think we go when we die.

David, Oh, I don't know. Where do I think we grow?

I'd like to.

I mean, I'd like the idea that we go somewhere. I mean, and now I found myself more comfortable with the ideas well.

I mean.

We could be far off something else. Maybe we go somewhere else. I mean maybe, I mean just a possibility. That's it. I mean, I don't have a problem if I ever stop existing.

Mmmm. That's good. That's good to not have a problem if you stop existing. Some people are are very afraid of not existing.

But I was a great deal not assisting you were existing. Yeah, that's a good story, Can I tell you?

Yes, of course.

Okay, listen to this.

So this is the story of how I well, this is a story of how I I realized that I was about to die. Well, not about to say it that I realized that that I will die.

Eventually, or the story of you realizing that you are.

Not immortal, yes, or or that I might not keep existing.

Okay, I can't hit me.

It was when Michael Jackson died. Yeah, So so it was like this.

I don't know how how much oble I was.

Maybe eleven I was. I was skidded uh, but we were sitting at the couch and then the news it was like a movie thing, like the news for every time we turned in, will have the news that Michael had died. Yeah, And and then the next week it was almost all television.

Was filled with it.

I mean like rebedias and stuff.

That he had.

And I mean you made you can think about it, I mean you made you know how what I'm talking about. So so I remember that I was stilled with this idea he died, of course, right. And then the next moment, I remember, it was like I was in this couch, in the same couch that that I saw the news with my sister. I was on my elder sisters, like I was sitting on her legs, like my head was on her legs, and she was watching TV and we were watching music. Like there was this song which I

Yeah yeah, huh.

How did you get Michael Jackson? How did I get over that? I don't know, Like I just accepted it. I I think that I got work. I think I got like tired of the idea of being worried about it, like because it was at first it was a.

Lot of stress.

I mean I do I remember as that like it was super stressful, super it was horrible.

But but then I.

I just accepted it, like I stopped. I I just stopped thinking about That's what it did. Like I just said, I said, well, I'll I'll just live and that's it. I'll worried. I'll eventually worried about that later and if I die, then I'll die. I can control that, I gotta.

I used to repeat that to myself.

I can control that drink.

You totally can't, though, yes, I mean we cannot.

I'm sorry.

Oh used to you used to repeat yours to yourself. I cannot control that.

Yes, I cannot control that.

I'm sorry, right right right, fascinating Michael Jackson And so before so before my so what you were eleven years old, so from ages so so before Michael Jackson died, you didn't even realize or you did, like that was your first kind of brush with Oh I'm I'm I am mortal.

Yeah, that's the ship up. I could stop existing. Yes, it was that moment.

It was that moment.

M hm.

And how do you feel now about the fact that you aren't going to exist? To you just have accepted that you cannot control it?

Yes, I can say that I have accepted it.

Uh. I mean and I don't want to stop existing, of course, but I mean I want to keep living.

And that's it.

I mean, it's it's a matter of not worrying, not to not worry about the wrong things. I think it's more that in my head and the thing that I keep repeating myself. Uh, that's what helps to accept it.

Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. David, David, David, fascinating story. How are you feeling right now?

Feeling good?

Uh, feel more relaxed.

Good. You were very nervous at the end. But we've been on the phone for I think like a half hour or something like that. Are you Are you feeling better?

Yes?

I feel better.

Yeck, I don't know.

I mean I I had the idea that I might that I could call you eventually, that someday I'll call GEK, maybe I'll be there for like thirty minutes an hour, or maybe he'll never get on.

But uh, now that I have you here, I'm sorry. I have to say that.

I think I thought that I could that there will be a lot of things that I could talk to you about that I would like to talk to you about.

Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about before before we go? No?

I mean, you know now I realized that it was perfect. I mean the way it was, the things that were said, Yeah, I mean they were they were the thing that they were. So I well, I think that sounds super hitous, but I'm happy. I'm happy for for what it happened, what he was.

Oh well, I think so tell that we covered some good ground. We got Michael Jackson making you realize that you were gonna die. We learned about your acquaintance at the uh, you know, your companion at the call center. We got to chick a fan and I feel like I feel like, I know, I feel like I got a nice, juicy slice of your life in here. This was this was fun. Man, Thanks for calling and sharing.

Thank you, thank you for listening, Gek, and thanks.

I think I love you man, Hey, I love you too.

Man.

You you take care any any final thoughts, feelings, or sentiments you'd like to share before we get kick you out of here.

I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy and good man.

And I'll keep you and I'll keep it.

I mean.

I'll I'll get a hold of it. I mean not to get that's another word. That's that's not what I'm t.

You'll take that, run with it.

Thank you, thank you.

Yeah, hold on, hold on to it for as long as you fucking can. Man, Jesus.

Jesus, love you may thank you, Man you take care, Love me, Gek, Bye bye mucha gulstgo.

That was David. I usually I don't say I love you back, but I had to this time because David is such a nice, sweet guy. He was so nice to me, and he's such a nice guy, and I had never in a thousand trillion fucking years thought that any you know, folks in Monterey, Mexico would be listening to this thing. So thank you David for calling and sharing.

All from Alex.

Alex, Hi, what's up now? Much? What are you up to?

I'm just in a VC with friends, just showing how's up?

What is there anything you want to talk about today?

Uh?

Yeah? Wait? Yeah? Wait? Hold on? Is this while?

Who did you think it was?

No?

I I didn't know if you were the call screener. Holy shit, wait, I'm in like I'm in.

Well, you're a call and you're talking to me, and I'm screening you. So I'm somewhat of a call screener. I'm screening right now.

Holy ship? Oh my god?

What's up? Hey?

Hey, I'm good. Okay, I'm good.

I didn't ask you how you were, but I'm glad to know that you're good.

Sorry.

Sorry, don't know I said that was just being a dick, but you know what, the thing it's fun sometimes it's just fun. I don't know why, but anyway, what's up? What's up?

Man?

How are you? I'm good? Tell me all right, you're talking to people and the thing ahead you talk all.

Right, I'm sorry. I'm not talking to them. I'm gone, uh fuck that, I'm here. Okay. I do have a story and I like have a dilemma that I would like your opinion on. Okay, it's kind of a long story, but okay, so to.

Start, tell me, okay, tell me the long story. Can you tell me the long story in two minutes?

I'll do my best, Not really, but I'll do my best.

All right.

Okay, So I have a childhood friend who me and them were basically friends since like preschool probably, and we pretty much like grew up together. But as you get older, we started to like argue a lot and we would clash a lot of our personality didn't get along. They're super eccentric, and I started to kind of get more into like going to school, high school, college. They kind of started to dive into like alcohol, alcoholism, and like just just doing a lot of drugs and ship which

You can you? Yeah? She got Okay, you have a friend. Your friend was getting into drugs. We're doing homework, and then so yeah, to tell me and then just we you know, we said to.

Split and so uh, we started to split up, and eventually his life kind of caught up with him and he ended up going to jail. So the story, the story of what he told me is really funny and interesting. But all I know is that he lied to me about what he was sent in for and basically was in jail for five months or so. Uh, and he was like at this time he would have been he was a minor, Like he was under age. He was

So okay, yeah, so what does this all have to do with you?

Well, for me currently, I'm not a person has like a lot of friends. I mean, you know, I I just graduated from like a community college, like you know, I was going during COVID, so not really needing a lot of people. So my my list of friends is rather low, like I have some I have some online friends, but you know, in general, at least for in person, this was a very like.

I'm gonna I'm gonna interrupt you real quick. I'm gonna interrupt you real quick. Okay, I'm gonna try to summarize this thing. You have this for. How old are you?

By the way, I'm twenty one, you're.

Twenty one, okay. And this friend Hell is his friends.

We're the same age, Like he was born like two weeks before me.

So okay, that's cute that you guys know each other's birthdays. Yeah, okay, And do you guys live in the same state?

Yes, so well, ideally U in the same city that I know of, For all I know, he could be across the country by now, like I.

Know, wait a minute, So is this guy still in jail?

No, no, no, no, no no. So he went to that rehab? Shit,

No?

do you want me to preface? Because I think I should tell you, at the very least like what he lied about, because it's kind of it adds a layer to this. Okay, Okay, So he told me, I'll just say that he he told me that he was arrested for bootlegging. I told you he was eccentric. I won't get into it. But he was arrested for bootlegging, and it turned out that he actually was sent to a sex rehab. And the thing is, why would you get sent to a sex rehab for bootlegging? Now, let me preface.

It was like Mormon was in Utah, are you guys Mormons?

No, no, no, no, no no. I'm actually as far from religious currently than I've ever been in my life. But yeah, here's here's why.

Here's why I asked you to explain it in two minutes. I wasn't just being I mean, I was being a dick a little bit, but I don't think I was just being a dick because that he's ultimately well, because here's the thing, is the crux of this issue. I find I'm not a genius of any kind, but I always find that, like when it comes to stuff like this, the the you know, the crux of the issues never in the details, It's in the macro. So look, do you so you know? Is this guy's in jail?

No?

So I for no. He came back. I think a couple I would say, two or three years ago, So it's been it's been a while.

Do you have the desire to be friends with him? Because let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. I when I I when you were, when you were talking about it earlier, you were saying, I'm low on friends and wanting to be friends with somebody because you don't have anyone else. Is a terrible reason to be friends with somebody.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's a terrible reason being friends with somebody out of scarce. There's eight billion people on the planet Earth. Wanting to be friends with somebody because you don't have anyone else to talk to is a terrible reason. So I hope you're not wanting to be friends with him for that reason. Well, if you love the look, if you love this guy and you want to be friends with him, that's a different story.

Yeah, I say, And you know, very often I hear the whole thing. Oh, well, you know when you get older, it's harder to make friends. And you know that might be true, that might not.

No, that's a that's a lie. That's all. It's the same amount of difficulty to make friends, at least, I believe, at any age. And I could go into I could go into all this stuff, but let's focus on this one friend that you have.

I've just never really had any best friends. I haven't. You know, this was a childhood friend. You know, if I needed to hang out with someone, it would be them. I would sleep over at their house like every fucking weekend, you know. So it's hard.

It's a hard rather okay too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I keep interrupting you, but I want to hang in on this just real quick. You shouldn't be friends with this person just because you need friends. And you also shouldn't be friends with this person just because you guys used to be friends.

Yeah.

Right, So like, look, i'm asking you. I'm not asking you. I'm not asking sixteen year old you. I'm asking you as an adult. Do you want to be friends with this guy?

Yeah? I don't think so.

All right, Well then then you don't have to be Yeah.

Should I talk to him? Should I reach out at least and just say, like, because I just feel bad ending of friendship like that, because I haven't really I don't know. That's something that kind of lingers. I feel like it's like an open wound kind of thing.

Okay, should you reach out to him? I mean, yeah, sure? Why not?

M Yeah? Yeah? And I think I mean, I think I'll be honest, I think I could still be friends with them. It's just I need to know what their current life is like, because that's the thing. Is the only reason I'm still hesitant is because it seems like he hasn't tried to fix his life because the only time that he would reach out to me after getting back from jail, if he would like ask, hey, what's up. You want to smoke? You want to do some shit?

Look, man, if you want to reach out to this guy, then then I guess I just what's bothering What's bothering me is like the melodrama behind it, which seems to be stemming from and I'm playing for tent therapist here, but it seems to be stemming from living in the past, Yeah, and clinging to it and this like scarcity mindset that you have towards friends. Yeah, but like look if again, there look some people. Look, there's some folks like I

I understand, I understand. It's just hard. I think I think that it's yeah, I I go. You mean, it's it's been a very like should I or should I not kind of thing, and I just like way like the pros and cons. But I think if I stop over complicating it, like you know, I like, like you said, I love the guy, you know, uh, and I do miss him. It's just uh, I just want to know how he's doing in terms of like if he Yeah, I think you.

Get it, like, like, yes, so this is the thing is you're running I guess what's it's you're running around in circles here, and it's like and it's like, what, I don't you're running around in circles around yourself, like debating whether or not you should send a text or hang out with a guy. You're not getting married to this man. Yeah, you know, you're not committing. It's like it's like it's it's you shouldn't drive yourself so crazy debating whether or not to send a dude a text

Yeah, I definitely am. I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry. I hope don't be sorry. I hope that this conversation is helping you realize that.

Yeah.

No, I think it's helpful to you. Don't have to be sorry.

Yeah, it's it's no, it's really grounding, like I think, at least for me, and I think other people like anxiety and ship will like agree. It's just like these kinds of relationships we have with people, it's very easy to kind of fall into this trap of making it look and it make it feel like it's way more to deal with than it really is. Like when I could just be straight up with them and just you know, just reach out and say something or even just like get some lunch or some ship.

Yeah, it's like it's look again, I hope, I hope if if you look, if you come away with anything from from this, with anything, it's that you know, brother, you you know, you're twenty one, Like, you can go. You can if you really want to, you can go make other friends. I hate this. I hate the mindset. You should you should rid yourself of this mindset that you have to be friends with anybody because there's a shortage of people that will be your friend, you know.

Yeah.

Well, and then and then the other thing is you're you're driving yourself crazy. I can I can hear. I can hear in your voice, especially the fact that you were like, you know, even the fact that you said you couldn't sum this up into two minutes. It's again, it's a decision of whether or not to send it to the text or or or hang out with him. You're you're not debating whether or not to testify against

Yeah. And I think I will clarify though with the I think I might have kind of worded it wrong. But I think for me, I have a lot of friendships that I've known these people since like elementary school, Like like I would say probably like fifty percent of my friends currently are people that I've known for over like ten to fifteen years. So when I lose a friend like this, it's very hard. And I don't think it's I'm trying to say that like, oh, well, I

So I mean, by what do you mean by you? How did you lose this guy as as a friend? So how long has it been since you spoke to him?

Probably like five years, five, six.

Years, five or six years.

Yeah, sorry, my time span might be messy, but it's it's been quite some time since we've like actually like called and like spoken like voice.

Give give this, give this a call. It's like it's weighing on your mind. It's weighing on your mind so heavily it just give him a call. Jeezus, it's not a it's not a again, it's this. This is not You're not going you're not committing to a marriage with this man. Okay, If it's weighing on your mind so heavily, then yeah, you give him man a call.

Sorry, mister Gek. I have something to say though, just like you know, you say that you're not like smart or whatever, and I do think it's good to preface like you know, you're not like a license or whatever. But I do think you do a lot of good.

I think I appreciate that.

Yeah, I don't know you you probably hear that all.

The time, but well, I you know, I well I appreciate you. And what's your name again, Alex? Thank you Alex. I've been I've been what's the world maybe terse with you? Over the course of this phone apologize for that, but I'm I'm, I'm, I'm invested in this and I can also I can see your brain going crazy, and I'm hoping that being terseed with you has helped your brain

Yeah.

No, I appreciate you saying we said I say that stuff because you know, because when somebody clips me saying two contradictory things to somebody, which I'm sure I do, I have I I have what's the word, I have protection against my sof I can go. I declared that I would. I declared that I was stupid. Okay, grants me immunity against all the stupid things that I say.

But it's genuinely, I think, at least for me, because I'm actually I don't want to take up much more of your time, but I'm like one, I want to become a therapist in the future. Like I just graduated community college. I'm about to go to like a university, so you know, it's seeing like I don't know, this is like the most boomer show imaginable. But have you heard of like Fraser the TV show.

Yeah, Fraser. I've never actually watched an episode like that show.

It definitely kind of leans too much into like the posh humor, like oh we're which we can laugh about this kind of stuff. But just in terms of like having a show where you just you talk to people, it's really powerful ship. You don't have to be a psychiatrist, you know, it's it works. Some people just need like a friend to talk to.

Man. Yeah, absolutely, Man, I'm glad I just asked you your name.

Oh sorry, my name is Alex.

By the way, what were you gonna say, Alex?

Oh No, It's just like genuinely it's been really helpful, especially like you know, this is this is stuff I've talked to with actual therapists, and you know, they've been helpful. But it coming from like a conversation like this, it almost can mean more in my opinion, because it's just like.

What did tell me? Real quick, what did your real therapist tell you when you told them all this stuff?

I think, well, for me, therapy is very more self focused, so it was much more of a like kind of wanting to like I think they I mean, at the end the day, it really seemed like they kind of took the same approach, like approaching why I want to have friends, like why am I? Why am I like still feeling sore about this? And for them, I think in the moment like they maybe we're trying to get me more to focus in on finding friend like new friends,

Dude, those two things don't drive us. Don't drive yourself I don't drive yourself crazy. And don't walk around thinking that you have to be friends with anyone because there's some star city of friends things. Well, thank you, Alex, thank you for the kind words, and thanks for dealing with me yelling at you is the people before we go.

You know what, just make sure you're taking care of your mental health and you know, just take steps to consider it. You know, it doesn't even have to be therapy. Just go outside, take a breather, do something you enjoy, find more hobbies. Just take your time, and I just.

I want to add to that. I want to add to that. Don't stay up until three o'clock in the morning browsing the Wikipedia page for human rights violations in Sudan like I did last Yeah, that is not good for your mental health.

Yo, up top man. I've been watching I've been watching deep sea videos. I stayed up till five in the morning watching like deep sea oddities. That's a shout out right there. Sorry, but it's like, dude, this account, it's just deep sea ro o V footage. It's crazy, like it sounds better than it sounds amazing. No, definitely, just whenever you're just watch. Just just find your interests. That's what I'll leave to people. And find interests that make you happy.

Yes, and hopefully those interests are not people you know. So don't stay up until four o'clock in the morning watching people jump off of buildings on weird subreddits by Alex I'll talk to you soon, man, Thank you, thank you so much.

Bye.

What a nice kid. He seems like he can still be saved. God is coming for all of us. I know this because I've talked to him. Personally, and he told me as much. And I think he's gonna say Alex because he's a sweet guy. Thank you for calling, man, and thank you. Thanks for being nice to me. I appreciate it. I hope things go good with your friend.

All right, all from Hello, hey, darn doing all right?

How are you go?

Doing good? And I just wanted to, you know, say, first off, I appreciate what you do, you know, just talking to average joes and and keeping the fish Center.

Vibe, you know, great reference adult swims, fish Center Christ rest in peace.

Thanks man.

I'm fucking trying my goddamn best here to do. Whatever this is, man, I don't even know, but thanks, thanks for calling, Thanks for humoring me in this.

Appreciate it.

What's up, man? What's going on?

Not much? I'm a musician sort of hitting the sort of hitting the creative block right now. But I learned that I got a dog and he's pretty cool.

Why what what?

What?

Kind of creative block are we talking here?

I don't know.

I got I got all the gear ever wanted. My boss at my workplace, he's got a mastering studio, and I just, oh no, I can't seem to pump out tracks or whatnot.

Hey, I have an idea. You know the beat you know the Beatles. Yeah, why don't you just do that?

That's a real yeah, I should They they had.

They were pretty they were pretty successful doing that. Why didn't you just do that?

Yeah? Yeah, they even had a they even had a movie or something they did.

They had, they had a couple of movies. They got pretty far doing that. What do you want to what what in the past, what have you written songs about?

I don't know, just stuff about anxiety and general inner brain stuff. But it's also like extreme metal, so you can't even really tell what I'm saying other than I guess I've made some post punk stuff.

What what kind of what are you having anxiety about?

I don't know. I just it's sort of like a general anxiety about existing aericon.

Yeah, existing is crazy. I think you know the thing about having anxiety about just existing is I mean, look, I you know, I understand that it's painful, but I totally get it. I would be any people who don't have anxiety about existing. I mean, I'm jealous of them they have.

Yes, I appreciate that.

This happy, beautiful ignorance. And once you, once you're aware of the fact that you exist, hard to go back, hard to hard to retain your ignorance. I mean, you could drink a lot, but that's most doctors. I've never had a doctor recommend that to me.

Weed's cool.

I was gonna say, I've never had a doctor recommend that, and which I haven't, but I do know that doctors recommended people. It's isn't that funny? There's no medical alcohol, yeah, doctors ever alcohol has ever been used for medication, although I've heard it does numb pain.

Yeah, I've heard that.

Well, all right, try being the beat All right, you're gonna be the Beatles. You're gonna not do alcohol. Why are you anxious about existing? Is that even a question that you can answer?

Oh? I've been trying to answer that for a minute with philosophy and stuff of that sort, but uh, can't you know, I can't really figure it out. Still still looking figuring it out. Maybe once I once I do the Beatles. Maybe maybe they don't know.

They seemed like they knew stuff, but I don't know if they I don't know if they really did.

They imagine some stuff.

They imagine some stuff. You can imagine. Thing is, you don't have to know anything, but you can imagine stuff all the time. I mean, I guess that's what you're doing. You're imagining songs. They didn't exist before, and you imagined them and you made them real whatever we whatever real means.

I mean, are you.

Afraid of that?

I appreciate that. Yeah, I go back and forth on that.

Existence gives you an anxiety. I know again, I know I'm not. I mean, I'm not a therapist of any kind. I'm a crazy guy on the internet.

But now you're get go, right.

I forgot. I forgot that I was a get go Hmmm.

No, I really appreciate all that.

Well, I feel like I feel like a lot of the time when you're anxious about existing, that's why if you're afraid of death, because I feel like a lot of the anxiety about existing is there's a well, there's a there's a lot of things that could make you anxious about existing. There's Uh, Okay, I exist. There's there's Okay, I exist, and I know I'm gonna die at some point and maybe I kind of come to terms with that, but I'm anxious about what the hell to do in the meantime.

Yeah, Like I'm not trying to speed around it, but I'm trying to, you know, get all the achievements I want.

Okay, So are you anxious about not being able to get all the achievements you want?

Uh? Not really, Like I don't have to be like David Bowie or anything, but yeah, just it would be nice to be a little more productive.

Mm hmm. What do you do when you're not being productive?

Uh? Substances?

Okay? Uh is that where the weed comes in?

Yeah?

Mm hmm. I'll tell you this from my own life. I kind of struggled with what you're talking about for a long time of uh feeling like I always needed to be productive and I always needed to be making stuff and doing things. And I don't know if my you know, look, my ambition has gotten me to places that have been really beautiful, but also it's it's been a been a sense of tormentation as well.

So word, Yeah.

It's been a tormenting thing, and I don't think it's worth tormenting yourself over you know. I mean there's lots of there's a lot of things that make life worth living that have nothing to do with making anything, you know. I mean, going for a freaking walk outside is is everything?

Uh? You know? So, yeah, I hear that.

So I'll I guess if I could tell you from someone who's had the had the pressure for a long for you know, a while, probably for a long time. Uh, you know, it's not as integral to existence as maybe your brain is tricking you that it is.

Yeah, Okay, maybe I'm put putting it on this pedestal sorts the the job, I guess.

Yeah, don't beat yourself up, man, appreciate it. Oh, I have another idea. I have another idea.

Yeah, with that, ask me.

What the idea is. Have you ever heard of the band Pink Floyd?

Yeah, why don't you.

Just do that?

Oh yeah, I'll just do that. I do the Pink Floyd and I'll do the Beatles perfect.

This is the most successful phone call I have ever taken in the history of this show.

Thank you so much. I appreciate being here for it.

Thanks for taking it, anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.

I appreciate what this gecko is doing, and he's a legend, obviously, I don't need to say it count for duncan out.

Thanks man, appreciate it.

Take care baby, I appreciate you.

Thanks to add on to that, I have been not uploading stuff onto Instagram and TikTok and just playing Nintendo Switch instead. Feels great. Feels great. Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night, teaching you. Thanks,