Hello, Hello, Hi? Is this Lars?
It sure is?
How is life Lars? Uh?
Life is okay?
Is?
How is yours?
Man?
Why? Why is life okay? Ish?
Well?
This year I was.
Uh, I just graduated from college and I got hired at like my dream job, and I for an art teacher, and I am non binary, and that was something kind of private in my own life, and I dressed more masculinely, I guess, And so the school district hired me obviously, and it was going really really well, and I taught for about three days, and the parents very wealthy.
It was a very wealthy school district.
They basically took one look at me and decided that they weren't or I wasn't the look that they wanted in their school district, and they found a way to get me put on administrative leave. And I was just kind of disgraced from the area and discriminated against.
I'm sorry to hear that. How long were you teaching there before that happens?
I worked there for several months, but the kids came back on a Wednesday, and by the next Monday, I was already put on leave.
What did they tell you was the reason as to why they were putting you on leaves.
They actually had found my instagram, which was not connected to my career as an educator like at all, and it was my art instagram that I had when I was in art school to become an art teacher, and they basically went online found me somehow, and then like there was it was a picture like three years ago, fourth photo into a post of a charcoal nude that I did, as you do in art school. Yes, and this new drawing that I just happened to do, it just happens to be a transgender woman. And so I
drew returned to true deform. She had a you know, her genitals and like a premature like breasts. And they saw this photo and they started this rumor that I was drying minors. And so I went into HR Monday morning because they had called me in and they said that you know, the parents had called nine one one saying that they're if their students were placed in my classroom,
then you know, they'd be in danger. And I was put on leave right then and there like no questions asked because I was a distraction.
Now are you pursuing a lawsuit against the school.
I'm really really scared too. They said that I have grounds of defamation and all these things. But like, you know, I've I met with a lawyer once and he basically told me, he was like, do you want to be a poster child? And I was like, I don't know if I can handle that. You know, all I wanted to do is teach.
Okay, So you did have a consultation with a lawyer, I did, okay. And when they said to you, are you sure you want to be a poster child? What do you feel?
Like?
That meant, are you afraid of this becoming some form of local or even national news? Are you like, what in what you know of of the process of pursuing this legally would be the things that you are afraid of.
Yeah, that's definitely it. It's well as of right now, the district has done a okay job of keeping my legal name out of it, the name I was going as a teacher, you know. And but I mean there's still articles about this online and all these horrible things, and I just know if my name was out there, then like that would be it. And I don't even know if I could teach after that, because who wants to hire a teacher who's had their name dragged through the mud.
Yeah, sure, sure, you said so. You said that there are already articles out.
About this, there is? Yeah?
What?
How? Really? No?
Go ahead?
Well, I was gonna say, from like really like right leaning articles that obviously are not favoring LGBTQ lives in any sense.
Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask you, is in in what already exists? How do these articles paint you.
Like a groomer, like a a person that shouldn't be around children.
Mm hmmm mm hmm mmmmm. Yeah, I can tell, I can, I can. I can totally understand why you would not want to pursue this. I mean, you're not here to get into litigations with people or getting money out of people. You're here to teach.
Exactly exactly.
And these articles they don't they don't mention your real name.
Right right exactly or else they know that they'd be going against my leave or resignation or whatever is actually in the books. Like they know that if they say my name, my real name, then I mean, it'd be.
A whole thing.
What are your friends and family telling you to do about this situation?
Oh gosh, it's it's so mixed. You know, if I if I tell someone out my situation, then they get really heated and excited say we need to see it and take down, like awfully can a tree like this? And then there are people who have been, have been, you know, sitting back on it with me saying like, dude, like leave, move away, try something else, or you try teaching somewhere else, like obviously, you know, not everywhere's going
to shoot you like this. You know, I'm in a red state, very red state, and you know, maybe if I just go somewhere else and not get my name out there, then I have a chance. But at this point, I'm just I'm scared to do anything, like I just don't even want to. I do want to teach still in my heart, but I'm so anxious and nervous now about everything m.
In What you've kind of been weighing around in your mind between what you believe personally and what people you trust are telling you to do. What are what are some of the options that you've been considering as to how you want to move forward.
I think the easy, the physically easiest thing it could do is move on and move away and try to teach in a place that's more welcoming of quote unquote people like me. But the thing that would maybe help me like spiritually, where it would be to get some kind of justice out of this, even if it's like, you know, the defamation case against the parents that made up the horrible rumors, or the grandiose option of going for the whole school district, which is sure probably the scariest part.
Sure, sure, m. What can I ask?
What is in.
Looking at the option of trying to get some kind of justice? What is compelling you towards that option?
Just the fact that it still keeps me up at night. It's been months, and you know, I am in real therapy as well, and you know I've tried all these things, but I still talk and turn about it. And it's not fair that people can just rip the rug out from underneath you. And again like this was my first job right out of school, Like I'm young, and I this is my dream. So it's just it's just frustrating.
Could I ask if you're if you're cool for telling me, what kinds of things has your reveal therapist told you about this situation? And have they been helpful for you?
Yeah?
They've been really helpful, just trying to get me through day by day. At this point, when this first started happening, you know, she was obviously very concerned and saying like, well, you know, if you go to the court, they might like bring me in because you know, the big thing with the right is that they think that people of varying genders are mentally ill, and so they would have
my therapists come in and all that. And she's tried to like work me through some plans for that, which is even more so scaring me away from legal action because it's like I don't want to involve all these people in my life. But other than that, she would say, like, you know, again, not everywhere is going to treat you
like this. This was a special case with the really wealthy district and a really red area, and you know, just trying to like tell me that there there's no like there's there's still hope, right, But it's a different thing working through the trauma, I guess even though like logically I'm like, yeah, it's fine, I'll be okay, but people still hurt me.
Yeah, when you you said that it's a thing that's keeping you up at night, yeah, exactly, what are what are like the persistent thoughts at you know, whatever it is three am that you're having about this whole situation. What is like that one of the most more most persistent things.
I guess it's it's the feeling of like, you know, I've always believed everything happens for a reason, and I've thought like, well, maybe i got shoot away from teaching because not meant to be a teacher, or maybe i got shoot away from the area because I'm not supposed to be here, which I already moved cities to pursue this one job as is, and so to make another big move is like a whole other journey.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm just I'm I just been trying to find a reason that just happened to me, just trying to think not not you know, stay away from like you know, I'm just not a good enough teacher because I was. They were you know, my actual like Adaman was like, you know, you're gonna be teacher of the year. You're amazing, Like we love you. But it was just the parents that they.
Looked, I'm glad you've I'm glad you feel that way.
Yeah, thank you.
Tell me let's talk about this for a second. Tell me away from all of this, what made you want to go be a teacher?
Uh, I'm super passionate about art, and I want people to be passionate about art in their own lives because it's through my other you know, things that happened to me in my life, Like this has been my escape through like traditional media or whatever. Art history. I'm a big nerd about it and that was really exciting to me. Like at the school I taught was was younger kids, and just to see them like kind of like get a concept like that is like worth a whole day work. You know.
Good, good, you know. I have a I have a sort of a thought about this, which is like, you know, kind of what you just told like like what you just told me of you know, remove everything and just like what is your passion? What do you want out of life? What is important to you? And really like like let everything go and just think about that in a vacuum. And you know the things that you told me.
I'm passionate about teaching. I'm passionate about art. I like when when I get a kid to get something, you know, and I would really think about that and then when you bring everything back in and you're thinking about how you want to move forward. Do I do a lawsuit? Do I move do I do this? Do I do that? I would think about the answers to those questions in
terms of which way forward best serves that passion. And I don't know, I don't, I don't know the answer to that question, but that's kind of the framework of how I feel like I would think about that.
Yeah, I agree. I think that's really enlightening actually, because I mean, it gets so lost in all of that, right, like, yeah, my original passion for everything, it's so lost.
Right, it gets lost. I mean, I'm sure there's feelings of like, you know, feeling like you need to be a voice for other people, or that you need to do this, or you know, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what all the sort of thoughts you you might be having, But I can see how they would take you away from what the core was of why you were doing all of this in the first place.
And I would hope that you really operate out of that core because it's so easy in talking to the lawyer and talking to your friends who are getting heated to and talking to other people in the care It's just it's just so many things that are gonna take you away from the core of I'm passionate about art, I'm passionate about teaching, and I want to move forward in a direction in my life that best serves those passions.
And I hope that as you're figuring all this stuff out, you're not letting yourself get too dragged away from that.
Absolutely, I really needed to hear that, Hyle.
Thank you, good good and I'm sorry again that this happened to you and I and I I hope that you know, I hope that, like I said, you know, people being however they're going to be, is not dragging you away from from the passions that you have in life.
Absolutely, thank you very much.
Thanks for sharing all of this with us, Lars. I know this is a is a tough thing for you. Is there any other aspect of this or anything at all that you want to say to me or to the people of the computer before we go.
Unfortunately, through all this, I've learned of a lot of horse stories that have happened to young teachers. Even though our country is begging and yearning for more teachers. We're still pushing them away, and I just want to talk to other disgraced teachers and tell them, well, what what you said is, don't lose your passion, and there's there's got to be, you know, a way that we can still be in the field and do what we want to do because they do need us at.
The end of the day.
Thank you very much for calling and sharing Lars. Good luck to you.
Thank you so much.
Have a great day, Lyle you too.
Bye.
Mm.
Wow, that was a that was a tough one. Yeah, shout out to Lars. I'm sorry that that happened to them, But they did say that thing of what they like that was. I think what I picked up on in when they were talking was when Lars was like, I know I'm a good teacher. I know I did a
good job. I know I'm good at it. And they said to that very confidently just now, and I was glad to hear that, because, you know, through all of this, the confidence and certainty that they had in their own abilities to do the thing that they like to do appears to not have been rattled too heavily, which is great. So I hope they move forward again in the direction
that best suits them. I can understand again the multitude of ways that with the freaking news and this and that, and your friends, who are you do this thing that you're people were telling you to do the other thing? I can see how you can kind of get away from yourself. And I hope that doesn't happen to Lars, and it sounds like it won't. I think they're gonna be okay. I hope Hello, Hello, David. How's it going, man? What's what's what's life like?
Life is good. I'm just just living, working, trying to make the best out of it. How's your life going?
Is there anything in particular that you called in to talk about?
Yeah?
So, man, it's kind of embarrassing. But back in the day, when I was in middle school, around twelve years old, my buddies and I probably around seven guys collected our pee in so you know those like Arizona gallon jugs,
like Arizona t gallon jugs. Yes, So it all started because he didn't have a bathroom in his basement, right, and uh, one day he had to go pee and we have this gallon jug and he's like, oh, I was pissing this we did, and then one thing led to another, and then I pissed in it, and then a couple other people did, and then it got to the point where we had probably like six gallon jugs
of of piss in his basement. And then after a few months, then I'm saying this, like, in my head, it didn't seem that bad, but as I'm talking about it, it sounds like really fucking bad. But after a few months, we dumped it off of a bridge in our hometown.
You dumped it off of a bridge, Yeah, I did it get on anyone or anything, No, it.
Was it was kind of an abandoned bridge over just a forested area. But it smelled pretty bad. That was a key factor.
How long did you guys keep the bottles before you decided to dump them?
It was a long time ago, but I'm pretty sure it was a couple of months, Like probably like at least two of them were a couple months old, Like they got to the point where they smelled like like pneumonia.
What was it that convinced you to finally dump them after two months?
Well, we were storing them in like a rubber made toat you know, and eventually the tote was full, and then we thought to ourselves, you know, maybe maybe this tradition has gone on long enough and we should.
Get rid of it.
What do you feel like you learned from this situation.
That hive mind is a real thing and when enough close friends or anyone that have the same goal put their heads together, they can really accomplish something pointless.
Do you feel like this has brought you closer together with your friends?
Oh?
Yeah, sometimes, I mean the main people involved. We did a lot of stupid shit during that time in our lives, but we're all still friends and sometimes we'll reminisce about the really embarrassing stupid shit that we did, and only we really know about it.
And now you know about it.
How do you feel that other people not know about this?
How do I feel about other people not knowing about it?
How do you feel about other people knowing about this?
Oh?
Knowing about it?
Man?
I mean, this is the only time I've talked about it with anyone other than my friends. Like when I told the call screener, it just felt kind of icky coming out of my mouth.
Mhm. Has as talking about it given you a different perspective on it?
Yeah, I kind of I knew it was pretty weird, but now I feel like it's really weird. Like I'm a normal guy, but you know, like middle school age.
Stuff is always really weird.
You know, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna about it. I'm gonna tell you something because you gave us this, David, I'm gonna I'm gonna give you something, all right. I don't know if I've talked about this before, but I I was involved in a Jewish youth group in high school that was about fifteen years old, and we had there was like a retreat at a hotel, and I once peed in a coffee cup. Wait, no, it wasn't a coffee cup. It was a clean It was like
a glass cup. I once peed in a glass cup and then left it on a coffee table in the lobby of the hotel.
Oh no, wait, where did you pee in it?
Originally I think.
I might have taken it to the bad I think I probably took it to the bathroom and peed in it and then left it on a coffee table in the middle of the hotel.
Okay, I've never seen you outside of your gecko costume. So even though you're fifteen I'm still imagining you in your get.
Go, just as a younger Gecko doing that.
Yeah, just like walking into this hotel, Bobby.
I feel like that might have made it worse flat.
Yeah, I just hope no one picked it up and I thought it was their apple juice.
That they left.
Well, you know, hoping is all you can really do.
Thanks for sharing that, though. It makes me feel slightly less downcast about what I did back in the day.
David, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go.
Now?
I just want to say I saw you in Chicago. Man, that was a really awesome show.
Hell yeah, beautiful. Ah, that's sick.
I wasn't expecting that venue to be that that, Like this the room to be that small.
It was cool.
Yeah, that was great. I love that n That was super intimate. People were like right up against the stage. People really shared some ship that night. It was great. I'm loving doing those live shows. I'll be back. I'll be back in Chicago next year. Awesome, I'll see that beautiful. Thank you, David.
Thanks.
Uh you know, listen, I I feel like so many people come to me with pissed stories. What kind of guy would I be if I didn't return one of my own Hello? Hi, how are you?
I'm good? How are you?
What is your name?
My name is Jules. I'm low key, very fucking shocked right now and a little excited.
Just be in the moment with me. This is it. This is right now. You're on the phone with a gecko. I am on a phone with and we we need to we need to squeeze this and make it the most it possibly can be. Jules, what's going on?
What is going on?
Is I am nineteen and married to my best friend of twenty one? You know the idea of like everybody talks about or jokes about getting married to like their best friend if they don't get married by a certain age. Well, me and my friend are actually doing it. This is a little joke.
I feel like you picked a too young for an age. I feel like you picked a little too young. I understand I picked too.
Young of an age, but this is more so me and my friend after a late workshift, we're talking about how most marriages end in divorce, over half do in America. So our conclusion was because everybody doesn't take a practice run at marriage before they get married. For the first time. So we decided to be each other's practice run of marriage. We've applied for the license. Our wedding date is actually going to be February third, twenty twenty three, so we
have a two three going. Neither one of our parents know we bought each other rings. I'm pretty we We did get a little bit of cold feet a couple of days after we bought the marriage license, but we've decided to like fully commit and we are going to do it.
So yeah, uh so you are committing to a practice run.
Of marriage to my best friends.
And how is this a practice if you're actually getting married?
Well, it's uh, I think it's a good practice run because we love each other. We get to practice like the actual ceremony part, the paperwork and all of that, and then being together having to jointly file taxes and all of that is a good practice run. And then we get a practice run of divorcing when time comes to be for when we actually marry the people we.
Want to marry.
Okay, so you are getting married. You're getting actually married. Yes, you are codifying it into law that you are married. You're filing your taxes together, and you are doing so with the full knowledge that you plan on getting divorced at some point. Yes, okay, Now what how long do you think you'll get married? How long do you think you'll be married for before the divorce?
Well, I asked about I asked her this, and she did leave me on red and then the next day responded that she forgot to respond back to the text. But we we talked about it more in person, and it was about a ten to eleven year run we were planning on.
So you were planning on getting married with a ten year expiration date?
Yes, with a ten year expiration date.
Well, you know, I'll tell you this. I like the idea that you put a ten years on You put ten years on it, and then at ten years you go, it's almost like it's a contract. I mean it is a contract. I think, uh where at the end of ten years you're like, all right, should we renew or should we just call it quits?
Basicly, and our whole thing was like, well not even our whole thing, A lot of our friends things was like, how are you going to prove this if it's like taken to court like that? Were like being like doing fraud for taxes We've known each other for fourteen years, and I'd say of those fourteen years of fall at ten of those we've been very best close friends. So we have text messages, photos, all of those types of
things to like prove our quote unquote love. And also since Wynda's marriage, say that it has to be romantic love and that it can't be platonic love. You know, me and her are very very good platonic lovers.
I feel like, so, Jules, you're not committing fraud.
See, And that's what I was telling people, that I was not committing tax fraud. We were getting legitimately married, we are legitimately together.
Yeah, I the fraud thing is not the thing that I'm I'm interested in here. Well, do you have any do you have any concerns about this at all?
I do have some concerns. I'm concerned that she might just be she might just be plotting my death in the future to take all my money and that would be like guaranteed with us being marriaged and all of that. But she did just put me on her four oh one k as her beneficiary primary one, so like that kind of killed my my only relief concern.
So you could kill her for her money just as much as she could kill you for yours. Yes, okay, I suppose that love is the playing field. Okay, do you have any other concerns about this?
Probably just how my parents are going to react, because me and this girl have been best friends. She actually lived with me and my parents for a little bit. But my concern is how they're going to react. I feel like they're going to be like this is stupid and not understand like that it's a good practice run.
I feel like, so, are you concerned at all with what might happen if your relationship with your friend, uh, you know, takes a hit in any way and now your your finances are fully entangled with them. Oh and and that is a that is a difficult thing to navigate, you know what.
I didn't give that any thought. I felt like me and my friend's relationship our track records. While it hasn't been like the cleanest relationship, it's been very devoted relationship. We've fought often, we've gone a few months without talking, but we've always somehow come back around to patching things up.
Just tell me again, and what your motivation for doing this is?
My motivation to get married to my friend was to give marriage a practice round?
Can I can? I? Can I tell you something though, Yes, what you're describing is not a practice. It's it is. You are getting married. You're not practicing getting married. You are getting married practicing it would be pretending to get married. There's no pretending or practicing. This is your going out on the field and doing it. This is not a practice if you're actually getting married. This is you getting married.
To me.
It's a practice because it's to a friend. But I see your point of it not being practiced because it is not pretend. It is real. So this is I really try at marriage.
Well, ideally you're always getting married to a friend.
This is true.
This should be a vital thing.
I don't listen, Jules. I'm not here to tell you what to do with your life. But I don't can I How many how many people have you? How many people have you ran this by in your life?
How many people have.
I ran this by? I've personally told three people in person, and I've like hinted towards it on my social media. But the only like real heart to heart conversation I've had about it was probably with the person I'm getting married to.
Okay, again, I'm not here to burst your butt or tell you what to do with your life, but I guess I'm having trouble seeing how this is a practice when you are just fully straight up getting married.
To me, it's a practice because it's like the friend. It's like the joke that everybody talks about, but like us actually doing it and like getting the knowledge of, like the actual marriage ceremony, the divorce to like having to file taxes is like practice with her instead of like somebody I might have ass love.
Jewels. If you get you will always be getting married to somebody who, hopefully you believe you love. This is this is. This is I'm gonna I'm gonna just tell you, schadw this is. This is no different from you getting married, how however you view it in your head. This is no different from you just getting it. And you said it yourself, you said, we're actually doing it. This is
There's there's no practicing here. This is you actually getting married to a person who emotions, thoughts, feelings, and actions you do not have any control over. That's what getting married is. So like again, I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life. But I mean, on this call right now, you've said that there were aspects that you did not think through, such as the idea that your relationship might not be beautiful and amazing forever, and I hope it is. I will say that, well,
it's not even that. It's just like incorporating financial aspects into this changes the dynamics of your relationship that might make it less likely for it to be amazing and beautiful forever. So I again, I'm not going to tell you what to do. But if I've brought up some things on this call that you have not yet thought about, you should you should think about them.
I appreciate that advice very much because I did think I thought everything through, like we were planning on getting an account together to put in money specifically for a divorce. But that whole idea of maybe our relationship not prospering like it has been does give me a thought on it.
Get it again? Who say that again?
I don't think I'm going to change my mind. I do think I will talk to the person more about it, though.
Have you thought about getting a pre nup?
Yes, we talked about our pre nup.
And what were the conclusions of that talk.
Just more so of us like talking about if we want one or not, and then we decided we do. We haven't gotten to the like lawyer paperwork part of the prenup, but we were going to do that before the ceremony.
Okay, if I I just would encourage you to not think about this as a practice, because you're it's not you're you're doing it. A practice would not involve you going down to the courthouse and actually getting married.
Fair enough, so I'm actually getting married to my friend. To you actually try marriage.
You are and you know what, You're an adult with agency over your own life, and you you're free to do whatever you want with that agency. But I guess if I'm on the phone with you right now and we're talking about it, I would just encourage you to think about what you're doing as as as thoroughly as you possibly can before you do it.
I will put even more thought than I already have into this for you and for me and the other person.
Jules, is there anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we go?
Let those intrusive thoughts within, because I'm getting married because of it. Thank you have a great day.
Geck you as well, good night, good night. I don't know, dude, I a fuck, I've said fucked fuck. I've said this so many times on this podcast that and I hate repeating myself. But I'm not going to tell her what to do. But I hate the idea of getting married at nineteen years old. There are so many infinite other things that you could be doing to positively and productively affect your life. But then again, I don't know. Man, We're all wired differently, and different things bring us happiness.
So I'm not going to tell people what is going to make them happy in their life. But I do hope at Jules thinks about this, and I hopefully gets out of the idea that you know, she's in a practice, because nothing about what she described seemed to be a practice to me. And I mean, look, I'm thinking of I'm really thinking about it now. All of life is a practice, pretty much, right. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm thinking about the ways in which
it does. Because let's say that she does get married and her finances become entangled with this other part, and she loses a bunch of money and gets totally fucked. I mean whatever, she'll be like twenty one, She'll be have her youth and hopefully her arms and legs. She'll be fine. I think she'll be fine, is what I'm trying to say. But I hope she thinks about it. Hello. Hello, it says here you're twenty two years old from Colorado, and it says that you were born without a butthole. Yeah.
So, yeah, I was born with a lot of medical problems, one of which was a bubble. I had a lot of cemmety issues, so like, for instance, my lungs and I switched, my heart is on the opposite side of the body, and I have to cheese vertebrae. But also another feature is having a no bubble. Originally, it started out as my orinary track in my large intestines were switched. So I was making little deer poops out of my
ppe when I was about two days old. So I had emergency surgery to correct that, and so I had a butthole, but it just wasn't formed yet. So I had all that tissue structures and all the good stuff for the doctors to use, and yeah, just surgically made a butt butthole. But I had a butt crack.
Okay, so you had the beginnings of a butthole, but not a completed butthole.
Yeah, exactly a pre butthole.
And so currently this and so you're talking about when you were a baby, currently as a twenty two year old, what is the status of your butthole.
That perfectly functional? Normal? It's actually funny. I actually kind of had an access a little shot in my parents a little bit the other day, just climbing. But I was out all day outside climbing, rock climbing, and you know, in the harness of just basically forced in that position, a little came out, but you know, it just kind of sucked it up and dealt with it, and then when I got home just kind of cleaned up. But yeah, no,
it's pretty normal now. I had a lot of issues growing up with it, but now it's yeah, shit happens, and I'm pretty normal as any other normal butthole user is.
So how long did it take around? What age did your butthole arrive at some sense of normality?
Oh, good question. I would say I would say like high school, kind of late high school, late high school. That's when I kind of.
So, so you did experience many years. I mean, I think you know, if you where a toddler or a baby, you wouldn't have had enough consciousness to even remember what life was like with without a normal butthole. But you have had in your youth conscious years where you did not have a butthole.
Well, I had it, but I just didn't have like normal function. So I just it wasn't as strong as your butthole per se. And so when you could like hold in your poop, I couldn't as well. And so it took a lot of like just growing up and just strength training specifically like keegels, in order to like strengthen that and enable me to like hold my poop per se.
So, Michael, you're thirteen years old, you have an abnormal butthole. How does this affect your day to day life?
I would say not a lot. Like I was still a three sport athlete. I played football, I wrestled, and I ran track and whatnot. But I'd always like come prepared. I'd come like with a.
Bag and.
Underwear and whatnot, just in case if anything did happen, and I would be prepared for it. But like inevitably, you just have to like prepare for it and then kind of like not be ashamed of yourself and just accept that, like, you know, this is who I am, and you know I'm not there yet, but I will be and this is just part of process.
Interesting, So has this process of accepting yourself and your physical abnormalities been helpful to you just as a general practice of being okay with who you are?
Yeah?
Absolutely. Like another big thing about my personality per se is I'm autistic. I or was diagnosed with Aspergers, even though it's not formally anymore. But that was another thing. I was just really socially awkward as younger, as a kid, and just really was hard accepting like who I am, and like I have a huge scar across my stomach. So I was really ashamed of like being shirtless in front of a large crowd because I just didn't want
people to ask questions about my scars and whatnot. But now I love to work out and whatnot, and I you know, more than comfortable with like climbing with my shirt off and just going out in public without my shirt on, you know, because I developed muscles. But it's also it's just it doesn't matter because it doesn't define me, I define those characters like like for autism, growing up, my parents treated me normally like they would with my other siblings, and that was probably the best thing that
could have happened to me. It's just like, you know, not being treated special because of my conditions.
Have you had times maybe by teachers or by other students growing up where you were treated differently because you had autism?
I would say I was pretty pretty reluctant actually, just growing up a good family environment and just good friends around me. I would say that, like I was just more unaware of like how they were treating me, like viewing that as like something negative, some like reflecting and like oh wow, they're an asshole. But like maybe before I was like holy shit, someone's talking to me or something like that. But I try not to view it as like something that they're like directly negative towards me.
It's more of like a misunderstanding on their part.
Mmm. I mean, so it sounds like, you know, growing up you had to deal with a lot of physical and mental challenges. To where you are at in your life right now, what degree are these things still challenging you, if if any at all?
Yeah, I would say it's it's I'm in college right now, I'm on my final setch of that, and I'm still kind of discovering myself and still trying to figure out myself. I've been living alone for about two years now, and I'm still running a lot about myself, and a lot of it is, you know, not positive, like you know, I'm not as outgoing as I thought I was, or probably blah, I want more friends or something like this
as all just stemming from my own issues. But it's like just realizing that it's my problems and it's not like other people.
What can I can I start kind of stopping for something? When you when you say when you say in this discovery process that you're talking about, when you say you discovered you're not as outgoing as you thought you were, what does that mean?
What?
What did that discovery look like?
Well, it's a really good question. I would say that I mean that by like like in kind of first introductions, Like if I would say I'm outgoing with with people I'm comfortable with and people that I know, but like you know, and being introduced or talking to a job at the bar, or just like a random student that I haven't met before. It's just like a lot more nerve wracking, and I can't really be my true self and be as outgoing as I think I am, just because I kind of freeze up and and so forth.
And is this something that you are optimistic about being able to kind of overcome in the future.
H Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I like sitting in as I like education because I just like failing and I like seeing progress because that's the one thing I'm starting to realize is like failure is good and even though it doesn't feel good in the moment, it's a really good teaching point and you can become better off of it. And so that's like me becoming a better out, more outgoing person. It's just me more willing to become uncomfortable with those situations that I try to exclude myself from.
It is interesting, It is interesting, and I feel like you've had to do that a lot in your life, so you're kind of used to the process.
Yeah.
No, I've also been like leaking spinal fluid. That was one of my seat surgeries caused me to leak spinal fluid for eighteen years of my life, and that was just me getting used to being uncomfortable and so now it's like a lot of times I'm either extremely uncomfortable or not uncomfortable, and like when I am comfortable, it's
it's a weird feeling, you know. It's like it's just like I can't say still, I have to be doing something consistently, or I have to be putting myself in these uncomfortable situations, or else I just like get bored and complacent.
Well this is cool, man, because you know you still you know, like everyone have problems and challenges with your life. You haven't, you you have not solved the game of existence. But it sounds like you're it sounds like you're like sitting on a good foundation of dealing with your problems, you know, a better one than maybe you had growing up as a result of those experiences growing up. Is that accurate?
Yeah?
Absolutely, Like everybody has adversity, it's just like kind of where that is in their life and like what areas that adversity is, And you know, kind of your character is defined by how you overcome those adversities.
But did you say at one point that you have a poop out of your penis? Yeah?
No, that's how the doctors found it out is they saw like like I don't know if you've ever very vivid like graphic explanation, but if you've ever skinned the deer and you take out a digestive track, you see a bunch of like poop pellets, like in the digestic track, and they're like little pellets, and then space. It's like a snake eating these pellets for safe and so that's what my penis looked like, was like these little pellets like space style, and they're like, holy shit, it would be good.
I feel like the fact that you had to poop out of your penis at a young age, it's set you because that is like you've already done the hardest thing, so everything gets a little bit easier from there. So it's kind of you got said nicely with that.
Absolutely it sets the pace and gives you some perspective.
Michael, is there anyth else you want to say to the people the computer before we go?
I would just say, you know whatever, you're going to keep your head up and there's always silver lining and you always pop up through. It's enough time.
Thank you for calling, Michael, Yeah, thank you.
Ile I a good rest of your day, man.
I like that guy because he had a very interesting perspective on how he's living his life. No, he started off at like level ten difficulty and then everything just got a little bit easier from there. I'm kind of inspiring. I kind of inspired to attempt to poop out of my own penis so that every challenge that I go through in life seems comparatively easier. But I don't know how to do that, so I will not there.
Rep Cant goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
The repeat Can goes doing his ride's teaching.
You cloud liver your
Life, but he's not really an expert.