“I WAS LOST AT SEA”

Hello, Hey, we're going good. How are you good?

Enjoined my night off?

So, Matt, what's going on? How can I get you today?

Yeah? Oh nothing, I just wanted to call and share a story. I'm not a little fishing trip I had eight years ago hit us, So yeah, I'm sorry. It was ten years ago. I went out fishing with my boss and his boss from work and we ended up sinking the boat and got lost at sea for twenty one hours.

Really, you were lost at sea for twenty one hours?

Yeah? Yeah, coast guard searching for us and everything.

Did you all piss and shit into the water out of fear and swim in each other's piss and shit?

Well?

No, that's kind of the funny thing is the way the boat sank. Eventually we were able to climb on top of it and it floated for a little bit. And so the way we were postured was my boss was up top, I was in the middle, and then his boss was below me and actually pissed on him. So there's that.

Was your guys' formation on the boat, similar to how you were ranked in the company.

No, no, no, no, he was uh so the guy on the top was the middleman and the guy below me was actually the senior.

Wow, so the senior on the bottom and the middle man on the top.

Well, yeah, actually, after it was all said and done, we found out why he was and he was actually

So you're telling me that this guy was doing an uh got a disease, trying to save your life and you pissed on.

Him, Well, got a disease, just trying to be comfortable, And yeah, I pissed on him.

I gotta say, look, Matt, I don't know you too well, but that's just a dick move.

Hey it was, but he he gave me the go ahead. I gave him a warning and said it was almost like that dumb and dumb move man. I said, Hey, I got a piss and he's like, just let it go, brother, let it go.

Wow, man, that guy is so fucking he did he get a medal for that?

No, No, he didn't get a medal, but we still love him.

How did you have to pay? Where there's ocean everywhere? Why did you have to piss on him? That's like the like of all the infinite places you could have pissed. You could have avoided him.

Well, we were surrounded by sharks, so no one wanted to get in the water.

Oh well, as you could pee in the water, so there.

Well, at that point, our muscles were too weak to stand up.

Oh okay, okay, okay, So you were surrounded by sharks this whole time.

Yeah, yeah. So the whole thing was we had gone out fishing and it was our first time like landing some big fish. We we ended up hooking up with like two really big tunas and we fought them for probably about like forty five minutes to an hour. We've lost one once we got it to the side of the boat. But the one we did land and get on the boat was about six feet and we think it was six We know it was six feet, but

Wow, did you think you were going to die at any point during this.

When the sun rise? When the sun rose on the next day, I thought there might be a chance, because like at that point, we were probably at like sixteen or eighteen hours in. So you started getting those you start getting those thoughts, but they're not very helpful, so you try to push him out.

Did any of you guys freak out?

No?

No, no, Luckily, the guys I had with me were really good dudes, and it was kind of funny because that day on the boat we were talking about it happened there was a an NFL star who had actually died from He had gone out on a fishing charter. The boat capsized and he tried to swim to shore and he ended up drowning. And for some reason that day when we went out fishing, my boss brought it up. He was a big football fan. He brought it up and he was talking about it, and he's like, if

It sounds like he sunk the boat on purpose because he likes getting pissed on.

Oh no, he didn't. He didn't because he didn't even have an insurance on it and it was a brand new boat.

Okay, all right, so I guess that one is wrong. M man, you guys are very manly dudes. So fucking killing fish and uh doing that exercise thing and not freaking out. I mean, I couldn't say the same about myself in that situation.

Now, I freaked out at one point. The other two dudes were manly. There was a point after the boat had first capsized where the basically the engines were just like leaking gasoline into the water and we were holding onto the side of the boat, but the fumes were getting to us, so we tied off a rope and just decided to like float away from the boat and hold onto the ropes. That way we can get away

Fucking guy takes the worst position on the formation, gets a disease, exerting his body to keep you guys safe, lets you piss on his head, takes you out on his boat, and kicks a shark in the face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was the manly guy. So we followed suit on.

That what's he doing now?

He's retired now still fishing. We're supposed to be doing a trip. I think this year will be the senior anniversary.

Of course, the motherfucker is still fishing. No, and nothing's going to keep that guy from doing what he wants to do. That's cool, man, Oh yeah, that's really cool. What did you learn from the experience.

Surround yourself with good people?

Mm hmm.

Do do not hang out with people who are going to freak out and cause you more problems? Well, I had older, wiser guys with me.

What was it like getting getting rescued?

I was it was pretty cool.

It was.

It was very relieving, of course, but uh yeah, it was kind of crazy. The coast guard, we saw them circling around us. Well, we finally were able to get their attention. I had a little mirror and I'm hoping that's what got them, but we don't know. But they eventually saw us and uh yeah, fricking badass swimmer dude

I'm why did they get out? Look, I don't know how to run the fucking coastguard, but why did they not just bring the boats. Why did he like jump off the poets and start swimming in the water.

Because at this point they had already been searching for us for a while, and the helicopter was actually coming back in to refuel. He was the only one. He was the closest one available. I don't know if they actually send boats out for it that night, but he was the closest one available. So of course they stopped and got us as quick as they could. But the night before we could see them searching for us, but

Wow, this is Did this give you any perspective on life at all? Or the fuck it?

It may have given me. It may have given me a complex actually kind of because I don't know. Mother has tried to take us down and we said no.

I thought that you know what, you know what, you know what you bring you bring up a good point, because you could, you bring up a very good point, because you could come away from a near death experience one of two ways. Okay, you could have come back thinking, oh my god, life is so fragile. I could have almost died. I'm going to be more careful. I'm gonna be so grateful for every moment I have to breathe on this earth. I can't believe it, or the total opposite.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit like that. I mean I packed a little more safely. I make sure I always have my safety gear on me when I go out fishing. But but yeah, yeah, she can't do nothing.

Well, good on you. I hope you. I hope you continue to not die.

I'll keep trying.

Is there anything else want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

No, just yeah, Always surround yourself with good people, don't don't always surround me.

Always surround yourself with good people. Never surround yourself with sharks.

Yeah, yeah, we got that.

Take care. Thanks. Hello.

Oh hi, what.

Is your name?

Emma?

Hi, Emma? How are you?

I'm doing all right?

How about you?

I'm doing good. Is there anything that you wanted to talk about today?

Okay, yes, but we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.

Yeah, well, we don't actually have to do any of what we're doing right now.

Okay, valid?

What is it?

So?

I have a list of about thirty two people that I have slept with, and they each kind of have a weird story attached to them. I did a lot of like Tinder hookups, and I just kept a list for my records. Uh, And I don't know. If you want to give me a random number, I can tell you a little bit.

Yeah, it says here, it says here. You want me to pick a number between one and thirty and you'll give you'll give.

The story, yeah, if you want, obviously, Like.

Okay, here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking, let's let's let's do let's start, Let's do one of these stories and then see how we feel. Nineteen, I see nineteen?

Fuck what?

All right now? Because now you got to tell us nineteen.

So nineteen is Sam's.

Boyfriend, Sam's boyfriend? All right, I want let's hear the story of Sam's boyfriend.

So I had a threesome with Sam and her boyfriend. I was not expecting that. Whenever I went over to Sam's place, I thought it was just going to be Sam and it was going to be my first experience with a girl, like it was going to be a cool time. And then a dude is in the driver's seat whenever he comes to pick me up from a dorm. So it was very uncomfortable. The girl was absolutely amazing. Sam was amazing. Also, I'm reading chat.

I know I shouldn't be, but.

Sam, can you not read chat? Emma?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

All right. So there was a guy in the driver's seat.

And he was just really creepy, like he kept on trying to I think he was trying to hit on me more than the girlfriend was.

And I just I wasn't vibing with him. He was missing some of his front teeth. He was on the hockey team, so.

I think that's why he was missed.

So so you you thought that you were just gonna be having sex with Sam, and then her boyfriend was How did he How did he get involved?

Uh?

I guess he was always involved.

I just wasn't aware of it.

What does that mean? That does not make any sense at all.

Like, whenever I was talking to Sam, she never mentioned a boyfriend.

Oh okay, all right. So you were talking with Sam about like, oh hey, we're gonna meet, we're gonna hook up, all that stuff, and she was under the impression that you were under the impression that her boyfriend would also be involved. Yes, that you would be that you would be their unicorn, as they.

Say, Yes, okay exactly.

So I mean, look when you showed up and the boyfriend was there, were you like I'm not into this or were you just like, ah, fuck it, let's do it.

You know, I was kind of like fuck it, let's do it, okay, And how did the experience prove like as you look back on it now, do you look back on it fondly or no?

So none of us had a threesome before, and it was just awkward, so like none of us really knew what to do. So it was a lot of me and Sam having a moment and homeboy in the corner, you know what, you.

Know, honestly being homeboy, you know what, being homeboy in the corner while your girlfriend another girl having a moment. Not a bad corner to be in. Not a bad gig, you know.

I guess.

Yeah, I just couldn't tell us like he was actually enjoying it.

I was.

I'm sure he was. I'm sure he was. Okay, Okay, let's uh all right, let me look at the chat. Well but don't look. Don't don't look at chat. But let's do one more.

Okay, I'm not walking at chat.

I'll take off my glasses.

Okay, Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad for that guy. I think he's I think he's gonna be okay. Twenty four, twenty four.

Okay, oh god, this is another story. Okay, I probably shouldn't say his real name. Let's call him Dan.

Dan.

I I had a fabulous of Valentine's Day weekend my freshman year college, I hooked up with three guys. That's like Valentine's Night, separate guy, three guys that night. Yeah, yes, that was something I've never done before. It's so amazing.

What so wait, so is this fuck? What number do we pick? I forgot twenty.

Three, twenty four, twenty three.

Yeah, okay, twenty three Dan? Okay, so tell me, tell me about me about tell me first one, tell us tell us, yes, do you tell us about the nights?

Okay?

So Dan was the first one I hooked up with. He was a president of a frats. Sorry not already. I don't remember which one. I'll be honest, I don't really care about frats, but I had the ego boost of oh, I'm sleeping with a frat president.

And he was really cool.

We played video games afterwards after sex. He was a little disappointed because I accidentally scratched his shoulder during sex, and he was a little bit butt hurt about it. But it happens.

I'm very like the legit. Here's the thing is having sex with three guys in one night. I'm just kind of curious about, like the logistics of it, like, so he was number one and then how do you like do you? How did you then go from Brad to the next guy?

So then I went to back. After we had sex, we played video games for a little bit. I laughed because I didn't want to spend the night with him. I walked back to my dorm. I got in my dorm, I was scrolling through like Bumble or Tinder or whatever, and then another guy messaged me and was like, Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? And I'm like okay, And I think the next one that night ended up

So he ended up being amazing.

Which one of the three guys? What did that? Did it?

Now?

As the evening progressed, did it get better or worse?

It started off mid then it was really good and then it was like mah, like the dam yeah.

So tell me about like I mean nowadays, what are you still as as adventurous or are you have you calmed down?

What's I've been dating my partner for the past three years. It's going to be three years on Valentine's Day, So it's just been kind of me and him for a little bit.

Valentine's Day has some special meaning to you. Yeah, oh said, it'll be three years what tomorrow?

Yeah?

Nice? Nicey? Have you so have you and him ever like played this game together with this with this list?

Yes, he's also his.

What which benefits?

Before we started reading?

Which story is his favorite?

There was another theater guy that I hooked up with, that Pete in the Closet. I think that's probably his favorite story.

Why did he in the closet?

That was his first ever college party that we met at, and I think he had won too many drinks and he just woke up in the middle of the night and I didn't realize what was going on.

So we started.

I like kind of sat up in the bed, and I realized that he was facing his closet, just standing there, and I heard kind of like sound and I'm like, oh fuck. So I like felt try to pretend to uh like fall back asleep, and then he stumbled and fell, like he tripped on his dresser and he fell, and I.

Thought he died.

So I was trying to shake him the lake, but he wouldn't yeah, because he wasn't like responding, but he was just like really drunk, and I was just like, oh my god, fuck, I can't say me. Oh my god, this person like wake up. Uh. And then he was like oh and then I just threw a blanket over him and.

Wow.

Yeah.

I then left.

Well ship, Emma, uh, this is this is this was quite a game. It sounds like you had a lot of fun. Glad to hear that your your your h you know, with with somebody that you're excited to bounce.

Yeah.

Sure, great, Well you'll have.

To call back in and then we can talk about the rest of the list.

Also to the person who said my lap was annoying.

I know, I told you not to read the chat. Emma, okay, your band, I know, I know. Okay, Biamma, is there anything else you want to say to the wait? Is the anything else you gonna say to the people of the computer before we go?

Always wear a condom or wear safe shit while having sex or doing sexy stuff.

By Emma, Hi, Hello, Hi, what's up? How can I get you today?

I just need some relationship advice get.

Okay, I mean I don't know, Yeah, what's up? Ask me.

So, I've been dating this girl for about a year and a half now, right, uh huh? And so she whenever it all started, right, I was like dating her friend and then I hung out with her one night and I was like, I kind of I don't know. The girl was cheating on me, the first girl out

Okay, let me, there's certain elements of your story that I want to get straight here, which is, uh, okay, poor girlfriend was cheating on you, and.

No, no, so.

No.

So what happened was so I was dating her friends, I was dating her friend, and then the girl I was now told me that the girl I was with was cheating on me. So I was like, okay, then I'm just gonna get with her friends.

Okay, all right, the girl you're dating now was friends with the girl you were dating, and the girl you're dating now told you that her friend your girlfriend was cheating on you, and then you guys started to date. Is that correct?

Yeah, that's correct. So the girl was now never cheated on me.

Okay, so what is your problem again?

We just we constantly fight and we're like, also, we're also about to move into a house that has substantially higher rent with one of my friends, okay, and she's not gonna have any means of paying that rent, just like because her parents like don't have any of her like credentials like nose, birth certificates, social Security number, nothing, So she's basically just an alien at this point.

Okay, this girl does not have a social Security number.

Mm hmm.

Okay, And so is she putting her name on a lease?

Well, it's it's it's under my dad's name, but he's just gonna make us pay him rent.

Okay, So your dad put his name on a lease, and your girlfriend who does not have a job or any sort of income, and you, nothing, and your friend are all going to move into this place. Mm hmm. How many bedrooms is it?

It's two bedroom, well, three bedrooms with a basement.

Three bedrooms. Okay, so each of you get your own get their own bedroom.

Yeah, all right.

So and I assume you're gonna pay for both your and your girlfriend's rent, and then your roommate is going to pay for his.

Mm hmm, and then my friend's gonna face effort.

Why are you doing this?

Well, the place that we live at right now is like really really shitty, Like there's structural damage, the roof is rotting.

Okay, it's just a really bad place. So your girl, your current girlfriend, financially depends upon you.

Yeah, in every sense.

And you guys are constantly fighting. What are you fighting about it?

It could literally just be about straightening up, right. So you know, I like I kind of tell her that, like she should help me around the house because you know, she doesn't have a job, She doesn't do anything all day but sit on TikTok or do makeup, right, so you know, I'm like, hey, you should maybe straighten up. And then she mean I get she and I get into this like huge like argument about shit from the past and all this other is like nonsense that has nothing to relate with the issue at hand.

Okay, do you have a job.

Currently? No, but I'm sitting on a lot of money.

How did you get this money that you're sitting on?

Commercial real estate?

Okay, it says that you're only eighteen years old. How did you make a bunch of money in commercial real estate?

I have shared from my grandfather who passed.

Okay, so you have money from your family that you're sitting on and you are using it to pay for both you and your girlfriends who live in an apartment, and you don't have a job and neither ye are you looking into getting a job?

I mean yeah, We're about to move like forty minutes away from where we're at right now, so I'm like trying to get a job in the area that I'm trying to live at. But I had to quit my job because my manager threatened to shoot me.

So all right, Uh, what kind of job you're looking for now?

Just probably something in retail?

Kay? Is your girlfriend looking for a job?

I mean she has no way of getting one until she decides to get her shit together, all right, which I've been pleading for.

All Right, tell me why you're why are you? What? What? What every day is compelling you to want to stay in this relationship?

Well, the fact that I've seen, like through videos of how like horrible her house is, Okay, I would feel way too guilty at conscious to even send probably my worst enemy back to there.

All right, So sympathy and guilt h yeah, Okay, Okay, this is tough, because dude, you're on the eighteen. You are also not You're just like, you're just not even remotely in a position where you can reliably support another person you're trying to support. You're trying to support another person on top, you're trying to support and develop another person all of their emotions, all of their physical, logistical problems,

Yeah, no, not at all. It's all up to her at this point.

Okay, So do you reckon so everything I just told you? Do you recognize that and understand that?

Yeah?

I understand it completely.

Okay. So, Garrett, I want to say, I think it is an admirable thing to care about other people, to want to help other people, And that sounds like it's where your intentions are.

Yeah, Because like I've been in a really bad place in my life whenever I was like younger, I got kicked out of my house and sent to rehabin Wisconsin and got left up there. So like I just felt like I needed to be the person that I never had. Mh.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, but while you have admirable intentions, I think there was a lot to be said about putting uh you know, as they say on the airplanes, to put your mask on before helping somebody else, because you have you don't, like, dude, what do you have to give? You don't have anything

And yah, I.

You know, look, you that philosophy is up for debate, reasonably so, but I think it's something for you to think about.

Okay, So if you were me, GEK, what would you do?

If I were you? You're asking me if what I would do? Yeah, I'd set my boundaries with this person and I would tell them you need to do this or else I cannot help you any longer.

But what if you said that countless times and nothing ever changed.

I would have to go and focus on my own life. Okay, Garrett, is is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Well, I just want to say I love your love your videos.

GEG.

My first time ever being on here. I've been trying for like a year, and I hope everyone else is in a situation like this. And if you are, just kick the bitch out, do what I can't do.

I'll talk to you soon, Garrett.

Thank you, all right, thank you. Gek.

I'm like, I'm thinking that he's like, so, you know, intoxicated with this girl and you know, so deeply, deeply caring, and then he's says, kick the bitch out. That's actually a really tough situation. It's actually a really tough situation because I think he comes from, you know, this place of empathy for this girl who probably has a lot. I mean, she's you know, she's a she's young too, she has to figure her own shit out. She probably has a lot to figure out and probably is going

Hi is it Lyle?

It is? Who is this?

My name is Alessa. How's it going?

Uh? It's going okay. I'm hanging out. I'm being a gecko. I'm trying my best. What's happening?

So I called in to get your vibes on a situation. I'm having a familial situation. So I'm not sure what the cal screener types you, but basically, I am the eldest of four and my my three other siblings are triplets. I'm I'm close with all of them, which is super cool.

A whole thing.

So I was kind of trying to get your take on, you know, your experience with things like this.

Your sister has been remodeling your dad's house for him with the secret intention that he will die and she will get the house that she is remodeling.

Well, fortunately, I mean I don't think I mean that makes it sound a little like mischievous, like she's.

Plased, sounds incredibly the way you are describing it sounds very mischievous.

I don't think she's trying to kill our father, which is super cool and I love that. But he's he's seventy one, but he's a healthy seventy one. And so like, her whole thing is that like her lease ends in September, and.

Neighborhood, I don't even know that it's quite that, but I mean I think she's kind of minimizing the whole thing, where like she's gonna have to live with her seventy one year.

Old father and and I don't know that he's completely okay with it also, but I don't know that he's like gonna like stand up to her in that way because he's fixing up her house or she's fixing up his house. So Okay, it's weird because I feel like, yeah, yeah, tell me.

About I guess I still don't fully understand what is happening here. Her lease ends in September, and so she's remodeling her dad, your guys dad's house so that her dad will maybe let her live with him.

Yeah, basically, yeah, I mean I think her intent is to try to live with him, presumably like rent free, but like, but she's spent money on his house so it'll be chilled, and.

That makes that makes no sense? Why why does it?

Has?

Has she told him that she wants to live with him, so yes, they've had.

That conversation, but then it's like more recently she's been like, yes, me and also my friend are going to live there, and like I feel like she's keeps like creeping up on the boundaries. And also like she's she's like had conversations with me about like yeah, and then all airbnb the house, and I'm like, her dad is not like on death's door.

Yeah, it's just there's totally going to try to kill your dad. That's every that's that's everything you're telling me. It makes me really feel like planning to kill your dad. And she told her friend that if her friend helps her bury the body, that the friend could also live there. That's the that's my vie.

But perhaps re butt or negate that my dad is a big gun guy, So I mean you could take that, you know, either way, from from either perspective of I mean, I don't think that's the case, Lyle.

But it's just.

The part that concerns me the most is that they're both kind of hard headed folks and my dad is just let this house get into disrepair. And and I feel like my sister when my dad does pass, which I don't think is going to.

Be very soon, by the way, like I don't I don't want it to end in you know, my dad not having a will or something, because I don't know that he does. And then me it impacting my relationship with my sister who who the current time.

Yes, I wanted to I did want to bring this back to you because I am curious what your role in all of this is.

Uh here, Here's the other part too, is that I'm a I'm a very handy person, and so she she's called upon me to help with you know, replacing lighting fixtures and tearing things bah blah blah blah whatever. Like I I'm very handy, So she's been like, hey, I'll.

Pay you to come help.

Listen, Listen, if your sister asks if she can borrow some tools, don't lend them to her.

But should I still go help?

Because don't.

House, no axes, no ice picks, no nothing.

Okay, Look, this is right now from the way that, at least you're telling me this story out of I got no fucking idea what your sister is doing here. I don't your sister. It doesn't sound like she's talked to your dad about any of this stuff. It doesn't sound like you've talked to your dad about any of this stuff. But it also sounds like it. But it sounds like it is concerned you enough that you're calling me to talk about it, which means it is concerning

How do you coach a grown man that doesn't know how to set boundaries like that?

You don't?

Then what the fuck do I do?

I mean I think that, yes, I agree he should have I mean because because I guess, perhaps from my perspective, I like, I think getting his house repaired and remodeled or whatever he is.

He at least is he is he like, is he of sound mind and body?

Yes?

And that.

Family legally must be taken care of kind of position.

No.

But the thing is that he's let this house get into disrepair. And also he had a hoarder mother, so he's got kind of some like horderous tendencies to like he's he's and he's also adhd undiagnosed saying he's he's like let the house get really fucking crazy. So I do think it's a good effort to repair the house, right, But I'm like, I feel like you know the motivations are a little skewed from my sister's.

Point of view.

Okay, well, I know it's it's weird.

I know.

Do you have it's very weird?

Or do I have any friends you can do? I have any friends whose sisters are remodeling their father's houses so that when their father dies they could have the remodeled house for their air to air to be out. No, I don't have any friends that that has happened to and that has never happened to me. But I mean, look, all you can really do is talk to your dad and be like, hey, look, I mean, don't get into some Shakespearean macave whatever thing with it, because you don't

Who does.

Talk to Just talk to your dad. I don't know this. The reason this is making no sense to me is because you could. You should just talk to your dad about this, and if he's unresponsive to your talking about it, then congratulations, you have done the best that you can. Sure and if he's not in a feeble minded state, he doesn't have dementia or any of these kind of things that would that would make him legally unable to make decisions for himself. Then unfortunately, you cannot make decisions

Right?

Yeah, I mean I think I think the three of us have had kind of some surface level conversations, and I think you're right, I need to like talk to

Okay, you know, have conflict with her.

I guess so, okay, well you don't have Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you this and then before we go it makes you feel any better, You don't have to deal with any of this you don't have. If you don't want to, you can ignore it completely.

Yeah, for sure. No, you're totally right.

But you're choosing to. You know why are choosing to? Because you care about your family.

I care and I love them.

That's a good thing. Don't let it drive you insane, Alisa, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Lyle, thank you for taking my call. I want to give a shout out to my dog Doug, who's sitting on the couch and I remained a call, and also my BFF Katie, and I just I appreciate the chat. I appreciate you, Lyle, and I appreciate your very kind call.

Screamers, God bless you. Alisa. Have a good rest of the night and to you nine nights. If only dogs understood shout outs, I'd shout out them all. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, what's up is this?

Gag?

Yes?

Hello?

Sorry?

What's your name?

My giggles out? Haley?

How's it going? Haley? How can I get you today?

It's fantastic, It's fantastic. I'm living my life. How you've been, How.

Have I been? Mm hmm a, I'm okay. But what's I mean, what's going on with you? Haley?

Well?

Uh, you know, just uh god done celebrating my birthday week. And the reason I called in was part of my birthday week. So I decided to just share a.

Very intimate secret that I've been holding for a while.

Okay, and what is that?

I I prefer to have my alone time in uh, sensory deprivation tanks. Do you know what those are?

Yes, I'm familiar.

Have you been in?

What?

No?

I haven't. Okay, you prefer to have your alone time and sensory deprivation tanks? Okay, yes, sir? What do you do when you're in the tank?

So it's the whole, the whole thing. Some of the tanks are like an open, like big like hot tub, and in some you actually have to like get inside like a tomb and like close the door. And I know that can bother some people who have like claustrophobia. It doesn't bother me because I'm kind of small, so it doesn't matter which tank I'm in or which tub I'm in. But the first time I ever did one. It was actually like a gift from my boss and people at work because I had been like super stressed

Listen, Haley, I wasn't gonna say it, but it says here that you like to masturbate in the tanks.

Yes, I mass very excite now I was getting there.

Okay, yeah, I said alone time, and I was like I was done moment to let her say it herself.

But sorry, I'm sorry.

I went on, Yeah, you did like you really as sune with like your body and your first your mind and then your body, and like, oh, I.

Feel really in tune with my body. This is nice.

Okay, why do you like to masturbate in the tanks?

I just feel like the first time. I don't know. Its just I feel like I can really just focus on what I'm feeling physically. I feel like when I'm like with a partner, I can't and I have I have a lot of trouble climaxing with a partner physically, But when I'm in like one of these tanks, it takes me like a minute. It's just so different than being like, I don't I have no idea. It's I'm still trying to figure it out.

I don't know what I was gonna. Well do you like, do you come yes? Where does the come go?

Okay? There's a difference between a female like oh okay, like oh do I squirt?

Like yeah, no, I don't.

Well, yeah, I get wet, but like that doesn't go like I don't think, like I don't seem like enough comes out to like ruin the tank because it does say in like the rules, don't get any bodily fluids in here. But I'm like, I don't think, just come around, I'm not squirting.

Do they are they testing the.

Hey, I've been to the same place three times and they haven't kicked me out yet, So I think I'm doing good.

Okay, do you, I mean, do you feel as though you're at risk of of potentially getting caught.

No, I've looked around. I've like looked at like I keep going into the same room and I'm like, Okay, they're gonna set up a camera this time and try to catch me. And No, to this day, like nothing's happened, So I'm just going to keep I'm just gonna keep doing it.

Mm hmmm hmm. Okay, do you anticipate like has okay, have it? Tell me this has has masturbating in these tanks ruined masturbation outside of.

The tank for you, it hasn't ruined it, but it makes If I know I'm going to do a like a tank, I will build it up for weeks. I will be like, I will not touch myself for like weeks until the tank happens. Hm hmmmm.

And that generally, you know, increases the sensation.

For you, absolutely, okay. And it's not a super like it's salt water, so it's not super like you know, like, it's not super comfortable, but if you haven't like touched yourself in a while, it's it's still nice.

Is this public masturbation or I guess because you're alone. It doesn't like legally speaking, where are we at with this.

I don't, I don't.

I don't know how you would where this would fall in the guideline. I'm in a private room. I don't know. I'm on private prop I don't know. I don't know. No one can see me unless they put up camera.

Do you do you masturbate in other questionable places?

No?

Mm hmm.

You know. By the way, I just want you to know. This makes perfect sense to me because all your senses are deprived, so you just focus entirely on the orgasm. It makes perfect sense.

Yeah, and it's intense and it comes quickly, no pun intended, but yeah, it's.

Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll check off on one of these things. But I feel like if I did, it's stuff, because then if I did it, it would be all jizzy. I could edge in the sensory deprivation tank and it wouldn't be that bad.

I think I think you should try and just see if they say anything and just never do it again after that.

No, that's because if they do say something, then I'm you know, I'm going to jail.

It's not like, actually, you can get away with this where Okay, when you when you do, if you're laying down your back and you jerk off, yeah, come on, Like, can you come on your stomach, because when you're floating, your stomach stays above the water the whole time. So if you can like come on your stomach and like save it and then get out of the water without it getting into like the salt water, your guilt, your gold, baby, you could totally do it.

You understand why that's much worse, right, Why because when I get out of the tank and stand up, whoever's there is going to see that I have a bunch of calm on my stomach.

No, no, no, no no.

Well, when you get out of the tank, you you still have the whole room to yourself. It's a private room. Whatever kind of tank you have, you have it for the whole hour, and you have to shower before and after, so the evidence will be gone. You should just just try it out, and I think you could do this.

You know, the people who work there, they've got to know that people are checking off of these things. They've got it.

Now, Hey, let me tell you something. It's worth it. It's one of the best It's one of the best feelings ever.

Haley. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

Yes, I wrote it down. Hold on if it feels good, do it if it feels bad.

Stop debateable, lease, debatable, debatable, it's very it's highly debatable conjecture. But I'm glad you came prepared to say something. Uh, think of you calling Hayley.

Thank you, hav a good night.

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