Hi.
What's your name?
Uh, my name is Collette.
Collette collect. You texted me and you said, I'm a thirty one year old woman who just got banned on Roadblocks?
Sure did? Sure did?
So tell me about that. How did you get banned on Roadblocks?
I guess I've just been playing a lot because I have a little brother, he's like, you know, fourteen, We've been playing for years or whatever. But also it keeps you out of trouble roadblocks does. But yeah, I just moved to Atlanta and from Texas, and I'd just been kind of in my head a lot, and so I've been like just playing by myself. But I got this new game on there. It was this like it was
supposed to be so chill. It was like a like a treehouse tycoon, and basically all you got to do is, you know, say, like get all these honeybees, you collect them, you you know, you build your treehouse. But then also everybody comes in and like murders you and stuff, and you're like, I'm like, I don't understand why there's murdering this game. There's like chill jazz music, there's bird sounds. I really don't understand what this game is and why
everyone was treating it like a GTA server. But there was these children and they rolled up that I couldn't collect my honey. They parked their little car. They kept on murdering me over and over again, and it just really sent me because like I was really excited to play this little game, and I just called them Brady virgins and then well I tried to report them because they were being very mean to me on the on the chat, I did not appreciate it. And they don't
know what I'm going through. They don't know who they're talking to. But yeah, I did tell them that I'm sorry their parents are divorced, and I do regret that because their parents are probably most definitely divorced.
What okay, why do you assume that their parents are divorced?
I mean just because of you know, the ratios. You know, you can look at any like you know census.
Okay, okay, yeah, sure, yeah, sure, there's a there's a fifty percent chance that that they're right. How old How old do you think these kids are? These are like squeakers, These were like thirteen year olds.
They're probably they're probably yeah, they're probably like the same as in my little brother. It's probably like fourteen or something.
I mean, they probably should they probably should be virgins.
I mean, no, they should, I shouldn't. I I regret that. I guess. It's just like, you know, like, what's your I guess. I mean, I'm not really upset that they are that they're virgins. That's not really it was. It was just that like, obviously you haven't been through anything. You're just a stupid virgin, which is really mean to a lot of adult virgins. I get it, I understand. I was They're they're reorganizing that. I'm going crazy right now.
They're life virsion, they're life virgins, their life.
Their life virgin.
Yes exactly, you know, uh yeah, yeah. I mean getting into heated arguments with fourteen year olds on roadblocks is probably crazy. It I you would feel irresponsible for me, it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a little crazy. It's a little crazy. It's undeniably a little crazy. But I'm let's talk.
I pull my little brother. What happened in all these textan me was wow, And I was like, okay, now I know that. I'm like I'm like losing it a little bit, you.
Know, Okay, why do you why do you think you're uh, why do you think you're losing it?
Well, okay, I just moved here. I was in Austin, Texas doing like a weird family thing for a while. I've been I've moved all around the country. But yeah, I was only in Texas for a couple of years because like my grandma and my mom wanted to like hang out with me a little bit. I haven't really lived around them for like over a decade, and that was really really stressful. I have like very conservative, uh grandparents.
I mean, just like everybody else. It's a little bit different though, when like you're mixed and like your white family is like really really racist in like every possible way. Pretty much, Like, yeah, the only person I kind of like that I'm related to is my mom. But anyway, that's a really really long story. You know, I'm really okay like not talking about that, but yeah, it was a lot. My grandma like started hospice while I was there, and they were just like incredibly hard to please people
you kind of have to perform at all times. And then also I like they kicked me out because I asked them to stop talking about Trump with me. And then so I had to like live with like this really crazy girl and and she was a lot And then I was also dating like of, you know, a comedian who was like a severe alcoholic. It was just like a lot of you know, stuff that didn't have to do with me, which I'm usually pretty good at. But I'm realizing that this is like the first time.
I've been wanting to get to Atlanta for a really long time because I feel like all my hopes and dreams and like a lot of like family that I would like to get to now lives here. And I just want to make movies and I want to make TV, and like I've been working in production a long time, and like I just want to like I've just been wanting to come here and feel comfortable in my own
skin and just to have a lovely time. But now that I'm here, it's like the self like I'm like actually having to like be the person that I was imagining being. And then I'm also realizing, you know that that's the anxiety is like that part is like I'm like, oh, this is like you you think about something for too long and then like you're like, oh, this is It's still me, I'm not like a different person. Yeah, and so it's like still have to do all of those things, like be a different person.
Yeah.
And now I'm just like cursing kids out on roadblocks. I mean that's crazy. I'm like I could be outside right now, it's like gorgeous out. I could be like meeting people, but I have a really I'm like so good at meeting people that are like terrible for me. So like I'm really terrified about like making new connections. That's also I think, really what it is is that I don't trust myself to like actually surround myself with people that are like good for me. I think that's
really what it is too. Also, I just like don't know where to start at this point.
You said so many things just now that pequked my interest. Okay, Okay, I want to I'm trying to hold on to all of them. Okay, one you said was first of all, Okay, I'm sorry if I got I'm trying to get your timeline correct because you because you said something, because you threw a bunch of stuff out about like okay, your family kicked you know, bad relationship with the family and the alcoholic comedian and all this is that, this is all before you moved to Atlanta.
Yeah, this was all before I moved to Atlanta. This was like the first place I've ever lived with like, that's just for me.
And then then you've.
Done things for family and other people, and like, this is the first time I've ever done something that's like just me.
And then when did you move to Atlanta?
Like a month ago?
And you're living with your little brother.
No, I'm not living with my little brother. My little brother lives pretty close. He lives in Jacksonville, Florida.
Okay, but do you live with yeah, like, are you living with family by yourself?
No? I live completely by myself and I don't have like close family, like the family I have here. Oh shit, my cat, Hi, are you ready to come in Jesus, you've been gone for so long? But yeah, she it's just me and my cat and my snake that I'm hiding from the leasing office. But yeah, the family I have here, they're like I haven't seen them since I was like, you know, ten or something.
You know, And you said that you mainly came down there to uh, well, you said you came down there for a lot of reasons. But you one of the reasons you said you came down there was because you wanted to get closer to them.
Right, Yeah, I've got like my I've got like a lot of my my dad's side of the family in Savannah. So yeah, I've already like went and saw my grandma, who's like great. She like has always like smoked like two packs of Marbs a day, and like she like drives trucks and like she's really mean, but she like puts all of her heart and soul into like the food she makes. Like she's like so classic. She look a really nice lady.
Cool. How old is she she? I'm curious.
Oh my god, she had my dad. Like my whole family's just babies. My dad was like she had my dad when she was fourteen. Wow, she got real on life. Yeah, real unlucky. It was the guy she like lost her virginity too, and he's like a real schmuck. Like he's like a bad guy, but yeah he's crazy. And then yeah, my dad and my mom had me. My mom her parent her mom had her when she was nineteen and then they pretty much did the same thing. They were like twenty when they had me.
Okay, so I was imagined when you said your grandma, I was imagining like kind of an old lady, but she's younger.
Uh well I have yeah, like the one that's on hospice in Texas. That's my mom's mom. And yeah, she's young, but she's just like I mean, like her last name is like Dangler. She like comes from like real poor, like like her dad was like a huge drunk who like spent all of their milk money like on alcohol and gambling. So like all of her teeth fell out by the time she was like thirty.
Just crazy, all.
Right, So I mean back to you are the other thing? The thing, Yeah, back to you, you know, because I'm sure that we could get it. I'm sure that we could. We could write a whole textbook about your family lore. I'm sure that the Lord sounds like it goes very crazy.
The well, the thing that you said that I was like, ah, fucking amen to that is the thing about yeah you imagine is is well yeah, okay, so once you I also feel like and this is actually I think part of like uh not to bring it to me, but like a little part of like an existential crisis is like what you sort of when you get a little bit older, you begin to fully understand the fact that there is no such thing as your future self, which is a little there's no such there's no such thing
as your future self. And that's like a little scary, you know, because I think we put a lot of hopes and dreams and reliefs and plans and whatnot in this bucket of some day and in the future self, and but there's just it just never comes. There's no such thing as the future self. So yeah, it's still you.
And I think that like the last two years have just been so stressful that I like have really just been like easing myself like self soothing with like a future self in mind. Like that's been like a self soothing like technique that I'm realizing. And that's it's it's it's it's making itself really apparent.
Can I actually completely undermine everything I just said? Yeah, because now I'm thinking about it, I'm like, I actually there's kind of no such thing as the futureself. But there also kind of is such a thing as a future self, you know, because as human beings, we can anticipate the future, so you.
Can manifize things and you can eventually like you can do things. You can you can visualize things and make them into fruition, not even just like you know you can you can you can emulate something until it be you.
Yeah, well I actually actually kind of I just I have disagree with what I said. I think that are I mean, obviously, there is no future self. It's always just gonna be you when you have to understand that, But there is something about you can plan for the future to the best you can, you know. I mean you can do that financially, and you can do the health wise, and you can do that. But a lot of the times, yeah, I mean, the future self is
just kind of like a vehicle for procrastination. But anyway, okay, I want to get okay past your family lawyer. We're getting philosophical bullshit. No, it's okay. I'm I'm steering us in those directions, and I take responsibility for that. Is why are you? Why are you sitting at home alone in your house yelling at teenagers on roadblocks.
Yeah, I guess I'm just like realizing just like I don't really like trust myself the way that I should. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. Oh, I don't know.
Well, I mean, let's talk about this, right is you you set all these like okay, you want to make movies and oh well, okay, let's let me ask you this. You said that moving to Atlanta was something that you did, uh for yourself. It's like one of the only things you did, uh for yourself? Why did you do it?
Yeah?
I just think that I think that I'm sorry. My cat is driving me nuts. She's like yelling in like the middle of our apartment.
Belief.
I think that what it is is that I've never I've always wanted to make movies, and it was something that like, uh, you know, I felt like really guilty about for a long time for like familiar reasons or that it wasn't like possible, Like nobody my family's ever
really really believed in me about that. But until like my dad like one random time was like, asa, what I worked on a gator Ade commercial And He's like I saw your car and this gator Rade commercial and I'm like, yeah, like I mean I can do it, Like there's like no reason like I can't. And I guess I've just never like invested in like myself and things that I wanted to do. I guess I've always
like chose like the safe option. I like decided to do like clinical massage therapy because I was like, Okay, well I can just do that while I'm like figuring it out. And I've always just done like all these I'm like a side quest person, and I've like had a really hard time like with the big what are you going to be when you grow up?
Question?
Right, But I've always done like a bunch of side quests and I still kind of I mean, I still do want to do that, but I guess that this place just feels like there's a lot of opportunities for me to do things that I want to do, like and when it comes to like film, like I just love being on a set in any capacity. It really doesn't matter you.
Said you you said you work, do you currently work in production, or you have worked in production.
I was doing a lot of it in Florida, and I was doing a lot of like live concert stuff for a long time, which was really cool, and then yeah, I was working my way into the commercials. But Austin, Texas was really really weird for that, Like the community there is like really cutthroat and really quickie and intense. So I didn't get to do that as much.
Do you pick Atlanta? Because it has started to keep interrupting you. But I'm just trying to get down to like, yes, why.
Yeah, you're trying to like figure it out.
Did you did you get Did you pick Atlanta? Because there's because of all the product I mean, I.
I there's a lot of film here especially, yeah, and a lot of like TV stuff.
When you say you want to like make film, do you mean you.
Want if I could be if I could be like if I could be like a like a like a foli artist, but like the rest of my life, I'd be very happy with that. If I could get in a writer's room, I'd be really really happy with that.
Okay.
There's like so many different avenues of it that I'm like really could be very happy doing. And that's why I'm like so broad with it. It's like it's not even like a like, oh, I don't know, it's like a believe in myself that I could like direct. I think I could, like I really do think that I like, but I I there's so many different facets of like filming something that I genuinely enjoy is what I mean.
So, Okay, that's good to know. So I you've been Atlanta for a month, and yeah, have you have you gone to any like fucking have you have you gone to any like? You gotta see? That's that's that's the thing is, there's a lot of And by the way, I'm the king of short I am the king of short term dopamine traps. Okay, I am a I am a complete hypograph. I'm the king of short term dopamine loops. So I say this with with uh uh you know
the heart, uh, yes, the if. I'm sure that yelling at a at a little kid on roadblocks probably feels amazing. It's probably a great rush of adrenaline to to like have something that, like to care about, like to like be giving, like, you know, because we're all just we're all just looking for reasons to get out of our fucking head and into something, and sometimes that desire is what leads us to spend any amount of time or effort or fucks to give about getting a little kid
banned from roadblocks. That's why you're doing that. It's because you're in I was I was driving down the road, uh yesterday and somebody like started slowing this the guy the car in front of him was slowing down, and then they started like backing up or something like just in the middle of the road. And I yelled, and I yelled, are you a fucking moron? And then I and then I and then I went I turned around, and then I and then I passed the car and then I was like, oh my god, that felt so good.
My entire body and brain and essence was fully in that moment of calling that person a fucking more. It feels good. That's why we do it.
Well, Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get I think the road rage contained to your car will always be a healthy outlet. And you can't change my mind on that.
You know what, maybe maybe maybe you're right, Maybe maybe it is. I felt good, I felt it was cathartic. I wouldn't again, and you know what, and you're right, you're right as long as it's I think would be, I wouldn't want to, like I would never you know, go to the person to their fate, like you know, as you're right as long as it's contained in your
own car. Sure, anyway, why don't anyway? Yeah, I mean all this really comes down to is like, I mean, dude, here, if I could give like, if I could give some suggestions here. I don't always feel inclined to give suggestions or feel like I know what I'm talking about here, but because it's like, you know.
You used to and I remember an episode where you were talking about the ship.
Yeah, yeah, I used to live in I used to live in Atlanta a couple of times, and you know, just this particular and you know, being doing film production
ship and so this particular avenue. I feel, why don't you go on like meetup or Facebook or Instagram or whatever and just like go to fucking like networking events or even or even right, why don't you go on like IMDb or LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever the fuck and like email ten different Foley artists and be like, hey, you know, can I ask you for advice on getting into the industry? Not like hey can I you know, have a job, but like, hey, you know, yeah, so
you just just gotta network. And by the way, people think that networking is like people the word networking is gross to a lot of people.
But it's it's the only way you get anywhere.
But I also it's not even I don't even think it's gross. It's like it's connecting, you know. I mean that's what you should it's people. That's what you should be doing. Is you should be out in your industry connecting with other people and not you know, at home alone yelling at teenage. It's good. It's not a gross thing to want to network.
Yeah it is. Okay, okay, thank you. That's actually really a good advice. Then do that.
So yeah, I mean that's what I would do, is find if you have a I mean it's also it's so great that you have a specific because a lot of people are like, oh, I want to make something, but you know what it is and whatever the fact. But to have like a specific vision and be like I want to be a folly artist, I mean, god damn. Go you know, go talk to the people who are literally doing what you want to do and they're accessible to get like.
An audio engineering degree, and I don't know if I should do that. I think you think it's a kind of audio engineering kind of like a useless degree.
You know what, you know what Instead of asking me because I have no idea, go go find Yeah, seriously, seriously, write a billion fucking questions down and then go to like one of these networking events that I'm sure happen all over Atlanta and ask these people, ask that question to these people. You know this we live in. We live in there's a lot of like, uh doomerism around
the connectedness of our society nowadays. And I could get at philosophical bullshit whatever, but like, I don't know this, Like the tools exist for you to find people who are doing exactly what you want to do and reach out to them. And by all, there's I see no reason why if you reach out to ten of them, at least one of them wouldn't be wouldn't love to, you know, talk to you. Because that's why, Because I
think I think people people want to do that. People want to send the elevator back down when they, you know, get further in their careers. It makes them feel good. So you know, do that again instead of going going and saying alone in your house and yelling at teenagers.
I will, I will. Yeah, I think I'm finally at the point in my life where I'm like more comfortable being alone. But uh, yeah, I think that the only spiraling thing that I'm feeling is like what I'm supposed to be doing. But being alone is like sick, which it did not used to be the case.
Okay, good, good, a lot of for a lot of people being alone as hell.
Yeah, so as long as I don't spent too long on robugs, I think, yeah, it's a good thing.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's been honestly really terrifying to you because I feel like every time I have sets out in Atlanta, it's only like romance trying to find me, and that's really frustrating.
Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean it's only romance trying to find you?
It's I'm I'm consistently having people trying to date me in a capacity and I can't find any friends.
Why do I feel I'm I'm hold on, I'm invested in this. Give me one second. I'm I feel I genuine because I feel like there's got to be like a fucking like women filmmakers meet up in Atlanta that you can go to friends. I really just got that. There's no way that doesn't exist.
It has to, right, it has to me.
Look Look here, what is this? Look? What is this film hub Atlanta? I literally just googled this there's the film Fatals, an international collective of Yeah, there's all there's all kinds of this ship. I'm I yeah, there's all kinds of this ship. Look upcoming events Atlanta. Hold on, bro look at this. Look I mean this is a past event, but uh, this is a women in Film and Atlanta event Saturday, April twenty sixth. It's passed. But I just said, these things exist, you know they do.
You're right, you can join. Look, this is the whole thing. You can join. Look at this. W i f t a dot org volunteer. Look at this. You should be on this website. Literally, lear you go right now, go to w i f t a dot org slash get dash involved and it says volunteer, get what get involved?
Fucking send them an email. Just you know, just I just this is I'm getting specific about it, but it's like I just just do anything to jog your brain into realizing that there's there's there's other options for you besides again, besides yelling at teenage us on the internet.
Thank you, thanks Lyle. Hey did you ever watch Perfect Days?
No?
I haven't. I thank you, By the way, Because this I feel like I'll have multiple streams in a row where I'm like, I think I'm pretty useless, but I felt good about this call. So thanks for letting me yell at you. Collecte.
Thanks for yelling at me, Lyle. It's been a pleasure. This is my first time ever really calling.
Okay, that you chose me.
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Mmm?
Sometimes I claim to know a guy, but I can't tell you what his hands look like. All right, Lyle, all.
Right, Colleede, you have a good one. Bye bye bye. I don't know what did that she's Sometimes I claim to know a guy, but I don't know what his hands look like. Is it like a is that a sex joke? What is that? Anyway? Anyway, Man, vivance is awesome. I feel like a real person. That's what it is. That's what it is. I've had a lot of street I mean, maybe that's not what it is, but my energy as a human being, I think to do this
podcast is finite. And there's a lot of times where it's like nine pm and I'll chuck and I you know, I got a record, and I'll chug a fucking mountain dew and then I'll and then I and then someone's talking to me and I'm zoning out, and I'm like, oh, of course that's happening. Why would that not be happening right now? I'm always trying to solve for X, for like how to feel good and present? Yeah, I don't know, I'm rambling, but yeah, good luck Collette. Uh try to
do stuff? Hello? Hello, Hello? What's up?
Man? What's happening on?
Not much where you call him? Are you a brit Are you a Brits? No Ah, there we go? What part of Australia? Are you in Sydney? Kick ass man? I had a great time in Sydney when I went there. Do you do you like it? Or are you like us? Is where I live?
It's just where you live your I'll not PayPal travel he from all over the world and people get exhitited to say it about For me, it shifts a lock. It's an as though it is a beautiful city. We've got some good local beaches and there's a lot of like restaurants and you know, nice places to eat out. But you know, you always feel like wherever you live, you always feel like you just live in a bubble.
You know, because you go to your job and to do your thing, and it's kind of like you get caught up in the routine.
Sometimes, Yeah, are you Are you in a bubble? That's a stupid question, but it remains.
It feels like that five days of the week and then the other two days of the week. Sometimes you try to break free of that bubble, do something, you know, out of the ordinary, but sometimes you just end up getting stuck in the bubble still, and then you just live this life in a bubble because it feels like, I don't know, sometimes it's just financeers that feel like it's holding you back from breaking free of that bubble.
You said that on the weekends you try to break out of the bubble. What do you do on the weekends to try to break out of the bubble?
You know, I don't so much. I haven't been doing it as much lately, but I did, like, you know, I do like going out to the beach or going on a hike or just you know, getting outdoors and getting out in nature. But i've you know, I had a bit of a work related incident this year and it's impacted my ability to do a lot of things. So I guess I'm just kind of been stuck in the bubble.
Is that Is that something you want to talk about?
Yeah, I guess I could talk about it. So earlier on this year. I so for work, I work in construction. I operate a piece of mobile plant, the plan I'm referring to. It's a vacuum truck and I dig holes
with it. So it's a big truck, and it's got a huge tank on the back, and you have a hose that comes off of the truck and you it's a vacuum hose, and you run out a high pressure water hose as well, and you dig holes using the high pressure water and the vacuum from the truck to expose underground services in such an electrical gas and water. And I was dig in holes earlier this year and I dug you know, I dug this hole, and I kind of, you know, after I was finished digging the hole.
The holes were supposed to be covered by the you know, one of these workers on the job side, and he's you know, covered the whole poorly, and I've misstepped and I've fallen in the hole. I fell in the hole. It was only about to meet a beat, but you know, I landed directly on top of the water main that was in the ground, and it's then I shock up my spine and I've slipped the disc and it's caused some you know problems and some psciattica. So it's affected
my right leg completely. It's impacted my ability to exercise, which has been quite difficult for me because exercise has always been a bit of an outlet for me. So yeah, and that's it, man, It's been a bit of a head fuck, if I'm being honest.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Man, When did this all happen.
Back at start of February.
Did like, did you get any kind of like a workman's camp.
Yeah, So it was complicated because when it first happened, the company that I worked for thought it was just going to be, you know, maybe a one or two day thing, so they didn't want to file any claims or do anything through the workers' compensation, and you know, a couple of days. You know, even on the day of the incident, it wasn't didn't feel like a big deal at the time, and then the next morning I woke up and I couldn't even I struggled to get
out of bed. So I went and I called my boss and I told him, I said, I've got to you know, I went to the doctors on the day and he actually my boss come and picked me up from the job site. Because the company I work for a week contract to you know, these job sites. We hire out our equipment to other job sites. So they will call up and say, you know, we need a vacuum truck for eight hours today, and they send out
me the operator. I'll drive the truck to the job site and I work for the client for eight hours. So my boss has come after the incident, after he was made aware of it, picked me up from the job site, taken me to his doctor, walked me into the doctor's office and tried to get me sign off as you know, all clear and you know there were no problems, and you know, it was a bit I didn't really speak up at the time. I just let
him say whatever he needed to say. And the doctor refused to sign the office because they're just like, we don't know what the you know, we don't really know until we get some scans done. I can't just sign him off and say he's aw clear. He could have a slip disc or you might wake up tomorrow and not be able to move. And that's exactly what happened.
You know, next day, I wake up, struggled to get out of bed straight away, went to my doctor without my boss there being present, told them the whole situation.
They asked if I wanted to do a workers do it to workers compensation, and I said no, that's fine because I knew that my boss didn't feel comfortable going to workers compensation, And they said they gave me a referral to go get an MRI, which I had booked in, and I got that within a few days, and the MRI results showed that I'd slept a disc in my back, and my doctor had said that I need to go see a neurosurgeon immediately. Le So then I've called my boss.
I've told them that that was the situation, and then they've gone ahead booked me in to see a different doctor who then wanted to backtrack fill out our workers' compensation claim, backtrack it to the actual day of the incident, because they knew that if after I got the results from the MRI and my doctor said I need to see neurosogeon. They knew it was going to be a lot of money out of their pocket and this could potentially go on for a long time and it would
end up costing them a lot more money. So they have then gone and you know, I set me up with their doctor. I've been doing everything that their doctor has been sane, It's gone through works coming. I've been going to physio twice a week, multiple doctors appointment. The first three to four weeks, I was on four different pain management medications and it felt like none of it
was helping. Over time with the physio and then slowly weeding off of those medications and then slowly getting back into work, I have started to feel better, but they still haven't signed me off yet because I'm now it's still affecting my right leg. So, you know, a couple of weeks ago went and I got another MRI and it's still showing that there's a problem there. And the doctor that they had set me up with is now saying on to see a neurosurgeon, which is what my
doctor had said initially. So it kind of feels like, you know that, well, all that time that I've spent with doctor doing whatever he was saying, and ultimately now he's saying, I gotta go see a neurosoge and I feel like this is something that I kind of wanted to do months ago, back when the incident first happened. But they thought that maybe I was, you know, because
it was my doctor. I was somehow, you know, they were I don't know they I feel like maybe they thought I was all caught up with my doctor and they were telling me to do something. You know, I don't know if you get what I'm saying.
They thought it was fishy that you were bringing in your doctor instead of their doctor. There's that basically what you're saying. Yeah, they well, well, yeah, I guess because they don't want I mean, they want to be in control of the situation. I would assume, yes, So are you Are you having issues with like with with being able to see your doctor in conflict with their doctor.
I can see my doctor at any time, and that's a part of the workers' compensation. I can change the doctors, I can change fhusio. I'm in control of the whole situation essentially. But every time I brought it up to them, if they're not happy about something, because they have not made this easy for me at all. You know, there's been times, you know, when I'm at work and they're
coming up to me. They essentially think that I'm milking the whole thing, or that I'm bullshitting my way through it just so i can stay on workers compensation without saying that directly. They have come up to me and said, you know, like you've been honest with us about the whole thing, and it's like like, I'm getting the skin, I'm seeing your doctors, I'm doing everything that you guys want me to do, and still you're not happy with it because they haven't signed me off.
You said you were back to work.
Though, right, yeah, but it's reduced hours.
Okay, and so so so what are they what are they trying to do with they trying to like, are they trying to be like, hey, we're no longer gonna because obviously you're still working with their doctor. Are they trying to say like like you can't work with our doctor on our dime anymore.
Well, a couple of weeks ago, my boss had come up to me while I was at work, and he was he approached the situation a lot differently to how they had previously because it felt very threatening. They have approached me a few times and it felt very threatening in the way that they approached me. But this time around, he was just like, you know, you, I feel like you're telling us you're getting better, which I am slowly,
it is taking time, and I am getting better. I have made a lot of progress since the date of the incident. And they're like, but we feel like you're telling us one thing and then you're going into the doctor's office and you're telling them something different. And I said, how can that be? Like, I'm not because they're also they've also hired some third party, some guy that works for a third party rehab rehabilitation program who also works with me to get my goals on track and things
such as that. But he attends all of my doctor's appointments with me and writes down statements of things that have been said, and he shares those things directly with my employer.
That's fucking weird, man, that's fucking weird that they're like hounding you about it.
It is weird. It's weird.
And I mean, you're leg I mean, I mean, well, it's also like, look, I mean, you're what is it. It's your right leg mainly right, yes, is your right how? How how is your right leg doing? Is it still like I mean, I assume what this was back in February. I mean, it probably takes a while to like fully rehabilitate, you know. I mean they're they're trying to like rush your leg.
Yeah, they are. It's it is going to take a while because it is stemming from the slit disc and from what I know, those things take a long time to recover from. But it's made my right leg essentially, like it's a little bit sloppy. I have to control
over them. I can use that. I'm not really limping when I walk or anything, but it's I have a bit of loss of control over my right foot and I can't, you know, do things like I can't run when I'm you know, driving, it's kind of affecting my ability to push on the accelerator and break not completely. I can still drive, but my job does require me to drive a truck, so you know, it's kind of
affected affecting my ability to work. And you know, they're still trying to rush it along, and I just don't know what to do at this point.
But you can't you I mean, yeah, I mean if they're trying to rush it along, but like, don't you have I mean, by the way, I mean, I am in the grounds of things that I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about, but I can I just can we assume that there's some kind of law or like I don't know, like what are your what are your rights in this situation? You know what I mean? Like, did do you have anyone who's like telling you that ship.
Anyone that I've told things that are sucked up? And I agree it is about the company that I work for can be kind of a toxic workplace, and you.
Know, but I guess what I'm saying is like it's like it's like like they're trying to like like if your boss is trying to like you know, uh like strong arm you into not paying for uh, not being on workers comp is that like you know, is that is that illegal?
I don't think. I don't think it's legal.
So then well, I mean, so look, if it's not legal, then don't you can kind of can't you kind of be like uh, yeah, well you can. You can say whatever you want. You can try to rush me as much as you want, but uh, it doesn't fucking matter because you know you have to pay for you have to pay for this, you know, so like I mean, if they because if they do rush you along and they do try to fuck you, I assume you can
just sue them. But I don't know. I can't assume anything because I don't know anything about any of this ship, either in America or Australia.
M hm, yeah, you need you need a lawyer, man, You need a lawyer.
You need a lawyer. You need a lawyer, not a gecko. You need a lawyer, man.
A lawyer. But it wasn't really something that I'm looking to. Uh, you know, Ti up U, it's already a bit of a headache.
I don't want to I'm sure. I know, I'm sure, and I I I I empathize with that. I get that. It's like you don't wanna you's don't want to deal with it. But it still is my go ahead.
I was just gonna say, it still is my job and uh, you know, my form of income and following this, I'm not really it's uncertain what's going to happen. I don't know if by the end of it, when they saw me, They're going to be like I like you done, pack up your ship and go, or that's to be b my job.
And I can hold on, hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna interrupt. What's your name again, job, Marcus? Whatever? Whatever your name is? Marcus? Okay, just tell me have you have you consulted with a lawyer? Have you even spoken with a lawyer? Have you even called? I'm on the phone, No, Marcus, call a law Marcus, hang up the phone right now, Marcus. I'm gonna keeck Marcus, hang up the Marcus. I what time is it in Australia right now?
Uh? Six am?
Six am? Okay, Marcus? What were you doing up so late or early? You have to work?
I actually don't have what till ten I am, but I wanted to get the fuck out of the assid whether it won't pay any of my family.
How How old are you? Marcus?
Twenty six?
Twenty six?
What?
And you Marcus? Man? Listen? First of all, look, I appreciate you, you know, being down to talk about all this shit. I'm screaming at you that you need to call a lawyer. I get the fear, right, I get the fear of like, oh, you'll you know, like retaliation from your boss or whatever. But like this is like, like this it happens to people, and there are like people who professionally help people who this shit happens to.
Because right because you don't have anyone on your side right now, you just have your fucking it's just you and your buddies and your versus like your your boss, who's clearly not on your side, and you gotta go fucking talk to somebody who's on your You got to
call a lawyer, man. Like it like the fact that you even like if you had told me you were like, yeah, I consulted with a lawyer and they told me that you know this, that and the other reason why I shouldn't you know, fight back, and you know I'd have to retain that, Like but but yeah, you haven't even had a converse. I have a conversation with a lawyer, bro. Just call one. Just call a lawyer. Just please please call it. Please just call call a lawyer today.
Man.
I get and and and by everything that you're talking about on the on this fucking show right now about like oh I'm afraid about this. I'm afraid it's gonna be a hassle. I'm afraid that you know, they're gonna retaliate. I'm gonna lose my job. I'm afraid of this. Write down every single one of those fucking fears. Okay, then you call a lawyer and you tell them every single one of those fears, and then have somebody have you know, have them explain to you. I mean it's literally their
job to deal with people in your situation. Go fucking call like a workman's comp lawyer man and be and be vulnerable and be honest with them about all these fears that you have about this situation, and like gets get some help.
Dude, that's good, boss.
And if you don't do it, I'm gonna come down to Australia. I'm gonna fucking break your other leg.
I there's a part of me that wants to do it because it's good at boss, and then there's a part of me that doesn't want to do it, just so you come down to Australia and bright the leg.
I know I'm not going to break your other leg. I'm not going to do that.
Bro.
Yeah, call a lawyer. I don't hold on. I'm gonna i don't know what is workman. I'm on Google right now. Workmen's Comp lawyer, Sydney, Australia. Okay, there's a billion of them, bro, Yeah go, there's so many, Bro, you gotta you gotta call one of these lawyers. There's a billion of them, workmen's comp lawyers, low apart. Yeah go, I hope you do this, man, I I I I It would make me so happy if you took my advice and called I called a lawyer instead of just like letting your boss fuck you like this.
M hm.
What's your family? Do you talk to your family about this? Ship?
Yeah?
Do?
But uh, I feel like that don't really understand a lot of what oursers, so I'll just truck it to myself a lot of the time.
Mm hmmm mm hmm, Bro, call a lawyer? Has anyone else you talk to your friends about this?
Yeah?
And what did they say? Did they tell you to call lawyer?
That never said call a lawyer? But I just think it's sucked up.
Yeah, Well, are you gonna call lawyer today?
I'm gonna call on today.
Are you gonna call lawyer today?
Because you have told me too? Yeah?
Okay, thank god? Good? Please please please and be and tell them everything, tell them like, because because I don't know, I can't quell your fears because I'm a gecko and I'm I'm a I'm a gecko ten thousand miles away from you call call a lawyer. Okay. I feel it would make it genuinely if you call a lawyer. If you call a lawyer and then you d emmulate and you're like I called lawyer and he told me all the stuff and it made me feel better. That would make me very happy. So I hope you do that.
Marcus Marcus, Marcus, Marcus Marcus Marcus. Mmmm well, all right, man, I'm gonna I'm gonna end. I'm gonna end this so that you can go call a lawyer. If because I because you're probably in your head. If I've convinced you to do it, I'm gonna let you do it right now, and I'm not gonna break it.
Any lawyers are off at six, I m uh.
No, you should go back to bed. Maybe nine. Let's go back to bed. Uh Marcus, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
I didn't think about that one. It's fun if I don't have anything to say.
Of course it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Of course it's fine. You don't have to have anything to say. Okay, just go call a lawyer. I somebody give me account of how many times I said that over the course of this uh phone call. Okay, good good luck, Marcus.
Thanks, I appreciate it, all right, take care of him.
Man. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. Is that like a low is it like a low self esteem thing?
Like?
What is I like, what is it that is preventing this gentleman from calling a lawyer? Shit, dude, That's what I would do if I was in a situation like that. I mean, I mean damn, because he's just yeah, all this, all this stuff that he's talking about. You know, it's so funny that there's an entire like this is so dumb.
But it's crazy to me that there's a whole continent of other of people who have that accent, like the law Like, if he calls a lawyer, the lawyer is gonna like be like an Australia and he's gonna talk, He's gonna have that accent. The boss who's fucking them over has an accent. The guy the person who gave that. All the doctors they have that accent. That's kind of crazy to me. Hello, Hey, what's up? What's your name? My name is May May. What's up?
May?
How's life.
Crazy? Just finished my finals? So next pustential crisis?
Why Why is finishing your finals giving you an existential crisis?
Well, honestly, I'm just scared of the adult world. Like it's just the main reason. Like I just finished neuroscience, but now I don't have a job because the job applications I applied to just no funding and I just got fired.
Well we oh no, what were you doing before you were fired?
So like a college student but like it's technically not a fire, but just got let go after they said like, oh yeah, we can't hire you anymore, so we got to let you go. And I'm like, but you didn't even hire me.
And what this is? Uh, this is a neuros You got a neuroscience degree, yep.
And and I was looking into like maybe I want to do research, but now like honestly yeah, and also like a lot of like things happened around me, Like neuroscience research is wild. All the research I've been into is like the only normal thing I got into children research. Every other thing is wild.
What what tell me about? Tell me about the wild things?
So like when I when people ask me of like, okay, so what are you studying right now? I'm like it's kind of like awkward to like explain to them that, like it's basically lebotomizing like raps.
We all know that we no, no, no, look listen, listen, listen. May you can, may you can be all KOI on this phone call. But we know you guys are sucking up some rats. We look, we look, we get we get it. We we have all, we have all collectively as a society, decided that we can fuck up an infinite amount of rats in pursuit of our own in pursuit of the furtherance of our own of our own species.
And we're okay with that degree, Like the degree of like fucking up rats. I just thought like, oh, probably just animal testing degree, right, Yeah, But I didn't. I didn't find not to like shoot up cocaine interrats.
It's funny because I actually I feel bad for you, maybe because we are we're all like I'm sure that my daily I'm sure that there are so many aspects of my daily life that are the way they are because of lots of people killing lots of rats. But I'm what, I'm lucky because I don't have to. I'm not the one who has to kill the rats and you're the one who has.
Yeah, so like like one good like I think, like one good thing like that probably like I was like, yeah, I didn't like it was my calling to end up here? Is like sure, I don't like like animost like I find man was cute. It's just like I don't every single time when someone's like, oh, a dog, it's kind of like, okay, yeah it's a dog, but like I
still kind of feel bad. So it's kind of like a lot of people are like yeah, we like even my mom like and my brother, they're like, yeah, if you didn't get a degree and something weird, like we expected you to go into the military or some kind of like or like she just she literally just like told me like, if you don't end up a serial killer, like I'm just happy for you, preferably a doctor.
Okay, so you've been lobotomizing rats for.
Four years, Like I just dipped because like levant like the lab, They're like they're sure, like they just do weird things, but there's snobby about it. So like I ended up in like children research, which but what I still do is kind of weird because I just put electrodes on kids' heads, like and I call parents saying like, hey,
can we have your child please? And like at first, like I was questioning like why they chose me until they got into recruitment process and I'm like, oh yeah, like with them for the first four minutes, I need to like explain to them what I'm why I'm calling
for their children. Like I just go down and email list and like phone list and I just call every parent and I'm like, okay, yeah, they're they're not going to like find like a young girl or like young college students suspicious there, So why uh not?
Why what what if you could like do anything with this degree, what would you do?
Well?
Like recently I figured out like I really like machines and working with animals, Like not like I like animals, but it's kind of like I don't like talking to people honestly, Like kids, I can deal because like, well they're not as complicated as adults, but like a lot of things happened in my life that I just want like, yeah, no humanity stocks. Like the reason oh yeah, I remember.
The reason why I called you is because, yeah, what is happening to the guys around me are like at least like men in the society, because like I'm not going to sound like Missandress, but come on, like like like my guy friend of like eight years, like when I was like talking about like, hey, I don't have a job, like but I still don't really want to
go into the military yet. And I was like, well, like as a half joke, I said, like, I mean like Instagram is like either like pushing me towards the sugar baby or like the military, which I was the same thing. And like after we like we just talked for like two hours, and we like I just had a beer and I was like, well, I'm not going to get drunk, so like, oh screw that. So I talked to him and like at the end of the conversation,
the two hour conversation, he wasn't acting weird. He suddenly goes into his room and said, like wait here, and he pulls out a wat of cash and said like here, and I'm like I was in denial, but turns out I was solicited and I was like, yeah, no, fuck that.
We he pulled out a lot of cash to like.
Yeah before that, before that, like I was on the phone call with him and I was like, hey, you're doing okay, Like you had a rough patch with your girlfriend and like he had a toxic relationship and I was like, yeah, no, that's fucking toxic, Like you really want to go down this road. And I was like, I didn't say leave her, but it's kind of like it was even obvious to me that I was like, yeah,
that's not good. And I don't know what an infinitus with him just decided to like he said like, yeah, I just found like cash in my room, and I was like he was talking about getting something nice and I'm like no, So I ended up cutting contest.
Well, how you said you knew this guy for like eight years.
Yeah, since like I don't know, like high school, like I actually come from like like I went to school in Japan for and like since my both of my parents were military, we moved around so like when I first got here, he was one of the first few friends I made. So they kind of stink.
Mm hmm.
So, but like, strangely enough, I don't feel sad, like it's kind of like, well, it's just probably the people I knew throughout my life, because like, yeah, like I've been robbed by like close people, almost got like a murder attempt on my life while getting my degree, and like I did work at like a dental office where I'm like a random guy walks in and said like, yeah,
I just got stabbed the other day. I'm like, oh, yeah, sure, should I just pull the back like see a little bit back slower and I'm not crazy things happened, and I'm like, well, should have soon that coming.
Hm hmm.
Yeah. So like I don't want to think that like like or like, oh you're crazy, but I'm like, okay, yeah, but you guys have problems too, So at least I'm upfront about mine.
Why who's telling you that you're crazy? And why why are they saying you're crazy? Well?
My brother, but my brother is he like I just like I usually joke about it, but like, yeah, sure, like we went through the same ship because like, honestly, my both of our like our parents were like did not have a good time a lot. So he looks at me and looking at me like I'm like nonchalant about it, and he's like, yeah, so, uh, probably it's
just the shenanigans I get into. So yes, like the moment I told him like, so another thing is like actually like probably like the first time I was deciding like I wanted to call you, was like I think last year fall, but I'm just going to bring up this now. But so I was on a research lab and I was like, hey, this is actually kind of fun. But turns out I don't know why my supervisor hated me. So I got fired. But like I thought, I made
a friend. Then that friend went off to the deep end because like she was on some substances and like tried to run a sixty in the middle of the mountains and I was like, oh.
Try to try to run. Try to run a what.
Like a sixty like sixty miles per hour on like a mountain, like a dirt road, and I was just sitting there of like yeah, shee you and she just yelled at me to get off. So like yes, I call the counseling services and say like, hey, this girl's going off to deep and get her to my school because we went to the same school, so I was like, yeah, like getting my degree is I'm not cost my wife, but hey, something happens. I guess.
How old are you?
May twenty three?
Okay, and you're just you're graduating. Well yeah, okay, it's it's it's May, so you're graduating.
Yeah yeah, okay. So but at least on the bright side, I got a good GPA and graduating.
So for me, hooray for fucking sure. Are you do you have like a I mean, like, do you have like a guidance counselor at the school who's like, Yo, here's how we're gonna help you get a job.
Oh no, they see me, like they see me so many times, like they like, actually, like the guidance councilor I need to like contact all the science major kids because my school is a small school, so they and like actually like a private so they want everybody to like especially like get out with a job or at least with a job. So like they're like trying to get everybody to a program. But they're like, well you can gut you guys can contact me for the next five years. So like even they're panicking.
I'm sorry they say. They say, they said, if what do you can't contact them for the past five years?
Uh no, like the next five years, like I still can use their resources. So they're like, well contact does and my current like supervisor who's like on the research are like saying, hey apply here, hey apply there, and even like I took a gap year. So my friends are trying to like get me into jobs. But I'm like, well, it's just like when things get so bad, it just gets gets absurdly bad, and I'm like, well, I'm actually entertained for.
What does he say that one more time?
Like when things get so bad, like it just becomes like entertaining at some point, I guess.
Mm hmmm mmmm. You have friends who are helping you try to get into jobs. Yeah, who are these friends?
Like friends who like graduated like biology and like microbiology, and I feel like the like school friends like I went to school because and alumni, and then there's friends from the high school that I still have contact with.
So yeah, that's a yeah, yeah.
All all these all these I think all these these are all legitimate yea's, these are all legitimate yea's. Yeah.
So it's not like I think like I'm not calling depressed or like calling to cry about something because I legit wanted to cry about something a few months ago, but like now it passed. I'm like, well, yeah, why did that happen? I'm prompted because like people are like people are like I did get asked like, so did
you do anything? Like later down the road, like recently, They're They're like, so you did anything, And I'm like, no, I hate touching people, like and giving compliments like I don't know why that happened to me.
I'm saying you did anything?
Ah yeah, like getting in this much trouble. Like people are like, so you're leading someone on, and I'm like, no, I hate people. I don't mind touching.
Mm hmm.
Hmmm.
So yeah, Like and when I was like shadowing like the only like bright side, like the bright side of like all this like weirdness because I have a lot of weird guy stories, but at least of all the men who hit me, like I did hit way above my tax bracket. So I'm like, hey, like I did pull auseholds, but I did not pull a bum. It's like I joke about people, but I'm like I'm still not dating.
You said you said, up, you said you hit above your tax bracket.
Yeah, it's all the people who were kind of weird towards me or like there were assholes, but like legitimately but at least, well they made more money than me. So I'm like, hey, at least I pulled someone above my tax brackets. So I'm like.
A win, sure, sure, sure, sure anywhen.
So it's like, I mean, it's a weird way to like try to find a bright side, but like there is no bright side that like it's just absurd to find like a one. So mm hmm.
Yeah, ah man, you know, uh.
I like I'm not even in the dating scene, but like people in the dating scene, I just get a little bit worried because if there's there's these weird guys that people find attractive, is kind of like, so why you want to say.
I mean, is this something? Is that something that you like? Like I mean the way you're talking about it, I mean, that's is that something that you want is like to be dating? Nope?
Nope. Like halfway through college I come from like I figured like I was completely as oh okay, like I dipped out.
Like well, I mean that's I will say that is one stressful part of life that I guess you don't have to participate in do you? I mean, how do you How do you feel about that? Do you feel like? Do you do?
You?
Are you?
Like?
Is it like a source of internal is maybe kind of personal but like and you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. But is it like is it like a source of internal conflict for you?
M No, Like I still have a fun time like talking to people who are like generally fine, like interesting to talk to and honestly, like I'm thinking, like, is there anything besides in life then alcohol and research, because I guess those things actually bringing joy. I guess we love. I still love talking to people so like, but it's
not like this source of stress. Probably the only stress is like a mom's like Japanese, so like every single time I meet her side of the family, they're like, wow, you're so pretty, Like why don't you like get married? And I'm like, yeah, can you can? I can you just send me back to the lab? I don't want to talk to anymore.
Mm hmm. May I hope that, uh well, first of all, listen, may I hope was like helpful to or I hope you I hope it was remotely helpful on the phone. I mean, but I also want to say I hope I mean.
Like probably like I would want an advice, but like at the same time, like I do know for advice, I'm.
Not a sorry, go ahead, you sorry, go aheading just a rupting you what were you saying?
It's just like probably half advice, like half question of like why are people so weird like this? Like I mean, like they get weird A doubt that, like like I like the things I do for my like what I want to do for a job, but then they like get weird, and I'm like, so, why you guys weird?
I nobody has any fucking answers as to why anyone is the way they are. I mean maybe they do, but yeah, look, I I'll just say this, I hope. Look, it's no fucking secret that you know. I'm uh, have have struggled myself with like negative perceptions of of the world and whatnot, and I'm no, I'm no expert in fixing those things. I don't have any I wish I had anything like inspiring necessarily, but I mean I don't know, Man, do you talk to a therapist.
Well I did, but now I'm graduating because I'm going to lose that privilege. Yeah, well, like I still like have people who I can talk to. I guess, so it's not much of a big deal for me or like it's not like oh I'm alone or like I'm going to be sad. But it's still just kind of like the thing that I just accepted I need to deal and why are you I kN.
Mhm.
But still I'm like like it's kind of like, yeah, I feel it's like I'm kind of uncalled for.
I guess what's what's uncalled for therapy?
I don't know, like people just I mean my genuine question like after like I didn't think I was going to graduate with the question like why are people so weird? Like sure, like in neuroscience, like you learn about behavior, so and what I figured out was like, yeah, people are weird. And then I learned about like in the field like in neurosense of psychology, everybody's like drugged up, like like like all.
The other all the other researchers are like taking a bunch of drugs.
Yeah, like that really like one researcher like who I was like working with it. She was like right after a conference, she just like went straight to dispensary and like got gout, like got some weed. And I was like, well, I don't do weeds, but I'm an alcoholic, so I don't do weat And it's just like okay, sure.
Yeah, I mean yeah yeah. Self medicating is definitely, it's definitely a thing. Definitely thing I always I always have. I have to imagine. I have to imagine it's kind of interesting like being in the field like neuroscience, where you I assume you have your studying all these things about like fucking like dopamine and serotonin and noah, per nephrine all this, all these like brain chemicals and so you have like a it must be kind of like
it must be a psychedelic, bizarre contradict. You no look like like like I've always I've always.
People like the old tenures or like the old people who are like have white hair in the field. They're like you think they're going to be the smartest, but like they're the people who were doing it from the nineties, And I'm like, okay, you're worse than us.
But I was gonna say it must be kind of weird to like have this logical understanding of how the brain works from like a very very empirical point of view and then still be a fucking slave to it, you know, And then still you do do all this research, you learn about, all the chemicals you learn, and you're still a fucking slave to the thing.
It's insane, No, it's it's wild, like at least like like actually, like I got like a work like when I was taking psychopharmacology, which is like basically gay drugs.
Like it's a study about drugs. So we had always had like this homework of like where we read like a case study or a prompt about like this person going through something like it could be medical. But like one of the papers where they were like, so this guy decided to make compound during his chemistry class and decided to use it. Then suddenly his arms and legs won't move. What happened? And I'm like, oh, he's a
fucking boy. So I'm like, why did you do that? Guy? So, but like we need to explain like how the dopamine pathway works. And I was like, well, like yeah, may everybody is at last everybody like I can just say it from like a star here, but like looking at people, even like people at regular fields, it's kind of like you're a slave to something. At least make it interesting.
You're a You're always going to be a slave to something. At least make it interesting.
Yeah, I.
Guess that's I guess you are always going to be a slave to some I mean everyone is a slave to like I mean, everyone's a slave to like their own mortality at the end of the day. I mean, actually, maybe that's not true. Maybe you're not a slave to it if you don't fear it or you don't think about it.
Yeah, And like I'll be the first to admit, like I like I do take stressful jobs, like the whole thing. Like even during college, I took stressful jobs because I think, like the moment you're about like you feel like you're about to fail, and like you don't, it's like the biggest high I will ever get. It's kind of like, yes, I'm better than It's like so rewarding to me that, Like people are like, so why do you torture yourself? And I'm like, well it makes me feel better about myself. Hmm,
Well I find joy in it. So I'm like, and I was like, Hey, I'm actually finding joy and helping people.
Good, good, dear God good. Uh. I'm gonna go ahead and be optimistic that you and uh for whatever, for whatever this word fucking means, uh manifest I don't know. I I I predict you'll be able to find some job or or thing or role or whatever the fuck in the world where you can help where you where you feel like you can help somebody.
YEP, I hope so too.
Who knows, maybe you helped somebody by talking on this show and they're like, oh, okay, I understand. I have or thoughts and at least I'm not alone in my crazy photo thoughts.
I mean, like I like pop like pop into like watch your show's time to time, and like people like there are some episodes some like people feel guilt over it, and I'm I'm like, hey, the smartest people in the world actually have the same problems with you, at least, like they're high functioning. Don't feel bad about it.
May is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Like, I I like.
There's weird jobs around there. I guess probably, Like I just wanted to like ask everybody like, how do you become a decent human being? Because I don't know either.
How do you become a decent human being? Well, well, there's no objective, Uh, there is no objective measure of what is a decent human being. I mean there's a there's there's a lot of general consensuses. Humans generally reach the consensus that murdering people is bad, but there is no like, I mean, if it's all chaos, there's no real Well, how do you become a decent human being? I mean, I guess you you in your brain, I
guess I guess. I guess you, as an individual, come up with your own definition of what it means to be a decent human being, and then you try as hard as you can within your own primal human limitations to you know, do that. I guess. I guess you kind of form your own fucking thing. And then and the great news is is that if you fuck up, you can just lower your own bar.
That's what I think. Yeah, I did not think about that.
Well, I don't know, try the best you can.
May, Yeah, thank you, man, what a crazy podcast that I'm doing here.
That was May, and that was Collette and that was fuck. What was the name of the Australian guy who's gonna who better fucking call a lawyer? He better called they? Was his name? Maverick Josh something like that. Okay, this has been the Therapy getto podcast. Uh, this was a fun, fun This was an engaging episode. I felt very engaged for all these conversations. I hope you enjoyed it as a listener. This was a good so yeah, man, this was a good episode. This was cool. A lot of
the time. Man, A lot of the times I sit down to do this and I'm sit down to like do a stream and I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, And then sometimes, you know, shut the laptop off and I'm like, wow, that was actually that was a good episode. Those were some Those were some engaging conversations. Uh, this is one of them. Thanks for being along on the journey. Crazy Planet. We're living on crazy planet. I don't have anything else to say.
The vivance hasn't hasn't worn off yet, so I'm gonna go I don't want to do a push up or something, and that's it. I don't have anything else to say. Do I have anything else to say, I don't know. I want to make more YouTube video that YouTube video that I posted on Sunday, which you can find on my YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash Lyle Forever. I want to make more stuff like that. I want to make more stuff. I want to do more things. I want to be alive. I wanna I want to continue
to want. I wanna continue to feel and think and not you know, be okay, just be okay, enjoy life, look at stuff, eat things. We're okay, everything's all right, okay. End of podcast goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.
The beacon goes to it and ride.
You're just teaching you a loud.
In the of your life.
But he's not read me an expert